DescriptionSusan Manning asks her parents Harold and Doreen Manning about their life and tells them what they mean to her as parents.
Subject Log / Time Code
- Doreen Manning
- Harold Manning
- Susan Manning
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00:00 Did I tell you that so you have to talk about how to keep doing this and she's a digital recorder?
00:07 Oh, my name is Susan Manning. I'm 48. Today's date is July 4th of 09 where in Rochester New York and I am the daughter of my parents here Highlander remaining.
00:22 And Doreen Manning. I'm at it's July 4th 19.
00:29 2009 in Rochester and
00:36 My partner is my daughter Susan.
00:40 Relationship Department. How does the herald Manning age 83
00:45 Today's date July 4th 09 Rochester New York and play stand up to the partner husband know the interview partner. That's me.
01:05 The one who got you here. Question when you got your first I'm really glad you guys agreed to do this with me. I'm excited. I thought about why I wanted to do this and I realized that first like I said earlier, you're both very interesting to me as people your thoughts words and voices can be preserved and safeguarded here and also that I wanted to share the richness of both of you with others. I just think you're amazing people and I want to be able to share that and to save that and for that I'm very proud of you guys and I'm very proud to have you as my parents. So thank you for succumbing to my wishes.
01:54 First question. I was reading my baby book yesterday and I was reminded again of how fortunate all of us are Jim Steve David and myself because we have parents have always been loving caring and wonderful teachers and role models.
02:11 I'm not everybody gets that and I know how lucky we are.
02:14 I know that the best of who I am. I learned from both of you, maybe some of the other stuff too, but mostly confessed to who I am and if you think of you if you each think of your parents.
02:30 What of them do you feel like you gained? What did you gain from your mother and your father?
02:38 Mom and ask you to answer first first. Thanks so much for that great introduction. It was beautiful and it sounds like your greeting cards when I remember what I got from them. They were very
03:01 Proper people they were British and always.
03:06 Correct. Spoke. Well, I'm getting time. No swearing not that there was a rule against it but you just they just didn't do it and I learned it that's the way to be they were very fair extremely fair with us as children very loving but not demonstrative which kind of rubbed off on us and consequently, we both were very undemonstrative with our children until Susan and David was just a bit and they started hugging and now we do and the other two to pass it on. It was great. But that's the one thing we missed with our parents and didn't realize we missed because
03:52 We hadn't seen it with other people, too.
03:57 Best part about HUD BWI to Tobin showing, you know your love for somebody in her hugging and so on. I think it's a generation thing. Our family is always that way my father and two brothers and my sister it would just so sweet of yours. W showed any emotion emotion was not something we didn't we showed a lot different. Yeah. I'm done with questions about
04:38 Her father and mother my that's pretty much the same way my father and mother were.
04:43 I thought that was quite Stern using you as a good person to make it to a lion. That's for sure. What are good ways that I've I've inherited to discipline and I've been but until I got to look at any of the questions on your phone that you gave us to work over at the end of the question was.
05:13 Who told you the most in your life I think and I thought of it first made a scout leader particular that I had noticed. It was very nice about a lot of things that I did and have done but then I got really looking at nothing then how come to the conclusion was just kind of surprised you hadn't thought of before that was really my father.
05:32 All that though
05:35 All the things he was a very he was
05:38 You like me to do or do a lot of things?
05:42 Without looking bag that is not realize that he let me act in my interests and taking responsibility.
05:52 He was here the first while he was a chauffeur.
05:58 Four wheelers in Lewis County beer Falls Lewis County. I didn't hear he was the chauffeur for a mrs. Cornwall who was her as a sister of Harry Lewis ogp Lewis company another she was an error has a lot of money and had and he had started out being a boyfriend friend of her husband's and then her husband hired him then with you he worked all his life for these people but didn't realize that he involved me and the boys and myself and what did he say what he did and working for her.
06:34 And I'll even he was a chauffeur to spend a lot of time at her home. Then she had a huge home and Princess heat to cure the fires in the winter and guess who ended up going down in the fires. I did in the evening before we went to bed. That's it. Then I really have to run over to the house the car the big house that you got from your parents so much.
07:12 And allow me to use in the air that she had a big Rodger several tires and head of Workshop in that garage and then I'll get bad. I realized if you let me use his tools.
07:24 And I was always working in there.
07:27 Heating up iron in the universe's in the coal fire in the stove in there. I love to do that for you. But you let me use my first bike there. I might buy the junk parts and let me he just let me give me a free reign to do whatever he wanted to do encouraged you to do you explore yourself. I think you guys taught us that too. I mean you let us explore things and you know kind of noodle around with things like that and Tinker with things Yeah Yeahs any other I'll leave the fire so far as he encouraged me to leave home 17 years old. He was very encouraging to I have done some things to do to get this job in Washington DC is in dietary department at 17 years old.
08:27 Take the train to Washington Malone and it was pretty but you know what? I didn't realize this until I got older and talk to other people that a lot of people are told by their parents. You can't do that, you know, or I mean obviously things like, you know, you'll never be good enough to do that or you can't achieve that and we never got that, you know, I never heard that from you guys ever, you know, it was really believe that we could because we're never told otherwise, we're always encouraged to which I think you probably both got from your parents to definitely I don't remember ever being told it I couldn't or wouldn't be able to write you were always done you were going to college and you were going to be able to be whatever you wanted to be.
09:23 That's pretty cool. And I did not everybody gets that, you know, definitely not everybody gets that.
09:29 Act as their vicariously I got served at the end of my junior year in college. That was not a happy time will didn't your parents. I mean Grandma's parents disapprove of a Grandpa's well.
09:56 I mean didn't they feel like she was marrying beneath her? Oh this possible. She actually did so then they did the same thing. That's how they made you feel when he asked to marry me and you said that you are going to make him feel like that which is kind of cool because that was like generation to generation. And then you said I'm not going to do this again. Yeah, that's what kind of need that you would put that they are conscious of it. You know, that that's how your father had been made to feel and that you were made to feel when you ever thinks their daughters that anyone's good enough for their daughter, you know never I never want to bother you should have really wanted to pick me up no. Go away again.
10:50 I have another question. I have a lot of questions. I mean we could do this for days. But this one really I really want to do this. I know this is going to make you squirm a little bit as children. We only get to see our parents through our own eyes as parents. You know, that's who you are. Us is you know, your mom and dad.
11:14 And I'm interested in knowing who you are as individuals even married now for 59 years.
11:21 And what's remarkable to me besides the fact that you stuck it out to us 59 years is that you're a strong unit together. We have always felt like you were a very strong team, but did you vote both maintained your own individuality still you're still very much independent people and you haven't kind of melted into just one person. You're both very much who you are. And so I'd like to see another aspect of you and what I'm going to ask you to do is to look at each other.
11:57 Because who knows you better than your spouse, right? So I'd like you to look at each other and then tell me who you see describe to me who that other person is to you this time. We get to start with that end with a Mike's we can't turn and look at each other. You have to start this time.
12:23 Thanks a lot. I've done lot of it crazy thing you sitting throughout her life and
12:44 So you just never know she's resorted resisted in the beginning and then ask a lot of questions are Guardsmen. But then there than the long run. See you in love with her. She's always going along with it like one of them home from school one day and decided to look it up. I'm going to be getting into real estate. And so therefore you have to get get your license to know it worked. I didn't realize that she of course, we'll see what I want with it. And then she was probably the best in the company that we had. She probably the rest of the best Asian we had no.
13:33 That is sort of an example of a lot of things like when I
13:39 I come back one day after I would win that prize for
13:46 Real Estate than that of the inimitable.
13:49 If I was to take a trip to somewhere and I told her that the owner of the company that I didn't want to go there. This is all you want to do it and I told him I wanted to Charter a sailboat in the Caribbean whatever turns you on go ahead and do it on there. So I came home and told her we were going to be going down to st. Thomas Ontario vote for her vacation. That's the same reaction from that email. Been down there and then we come back. This is a great guess what we're going to buy a boat.
14:32 So we bought that and kept it on there for 9 years.
14:35 But the shipping just raided she's been a while.
14:39 She great facilitator and I couldn't down these things without her. I see a person who is very capable and
14:48 How anybody could handle living on a boat like that and then cooking feeding Washington and she was very?
14:59 Creative like 7 we had the boat looks going down.
15:04 Going down the slide rentals River around and who else would take a bunch of diapers and hanging it time out onto a line and trailing behind a boat to wash so it's she was just really good.
15:27 How do I get diapers and everything else flying all over the bow that I can give you a lot of moral stations, but Intrepid creative in LA today start, it's your turn. Yeah that time are you trying to talk again?
16:11 Can I see is?
16:14 Very very very very loving person. Yeah, sometimes crazy from those crazy ideas, but it's wonderful because he hadn't had these ideas we would have missed so much.
16:29 The real estate thing was great turned out to be productive turned out to kind of interrupt.
16:36 Poor kids they went along with it. You put Susan in a position to babysit for her little brother was quite often, but it made her more responsible to I think.
16:52 The dragon the diapers that was just that was natural. That's what had to be that we could have spent a lot of money on diapers, but I don't think they I think they had them they were terribly expensive 44 years ago or whatever. It was when David was born.
17:18 He's always been.
17:21 You did tell the right you always make me say that every time we went for a date if I planned it.
17:37 It wouldn't turn out good wouldn't be fun. But if we did what he wanted to do, it was always fun. So I guess that established a pattern we're from then on for many many many years to the first part of our marriage most of our marriage if it was his idea. We knew it was going to work but the last 20 years or so in the meantime. Disagreed and it scares the kids because they never seem to disagree and I think it really upsets David most the youngest one.
18:15 And he was alarmed when we started disagreeing verbally.
18:21 Sometimes I get my way we never saw that we don't argue. It's not it's not arguing. It's just a finally I'm just agreeing once in awhile and he's always right you resolve it and I think it's neat because you are expressing yourselves. Honestly, you know, you're not just going along but I won't give in because you do have value and we need both your ideas both have value. So now you listen to each other but you resolve them. You don't let things go on and on. I mean what I see is you disagree, you know you but heads and then you find a solution, you know, whether you know, whichever way it goes and you probably do given too often. Sometimes I can say I agree but then it won't do it a lot of it.
19:16 Let's hear finally. I want to hear that.
19:22 Looking looking at it really. It's a lot smarter than I am and it's always been that way. I can go on the record as saying that started with this mentality shoes are these what high school really that you still want Awards and cause he was an a student and so on and first I can't say that I get out of the service. I have to be in the service or three years before they could get accepted at Syracuse. I had to go back to high school and get my marks up so they don't accept me in my average all the way through these necessities.
20:05 So really I don't feel so bad now. I really do want to know her and answers.
20:22 Decisions on things
20:24 Wow, Allied Finance, especially yeah, sometimes I do some crazy trouble.
20:35 It'll just last year and my mom were going to that they met I was smarter than I did better in school. No, he said he said I have to say that you're that she's smarter than I am. I think but but differently. Yeah, cuz cuz I like quiz, the most recent financial decision was to get us into a kind of a timeshare thing, but it was and he got talked into it and I was there I could have put my foot down and said no, but it sounded interesting and maybe it'll work.
21:21 And within a day, he had finally decided he'd made a bed. You know what you're the one that takes the rest and it has the ideas and that you're the one who is more pragmatic and asks the question. So practical questions. How is this going to work? Is this really going to work and I have friends like that and Karen described her partner. Jason is the balloon who's like the big picture and and wanting to go explore and do this and do this and she's the one holding the string and that they both need each other and I think I see you guys is that you're like the perfect pair in that respect because you balance each other.
22:08 Is that sounds real estate and like the the boat especially the sailboat after going to a series of smaller boats that you pick up for almost no money where I can play with and make money to go on to the next one and the next one the next one but the same old thing was extreme and that was wonderful, but it scared you scared me a wonderful experience and all the kids got to be involved in it for a month every summer amazing experience for us. And the fact that that was our family time. I mean who gets to spend a month?
23:00 As a family and you know, we weren't always all there but that was real quality time for us. And even when we were younger, you know, I'm sure the boys resisted going to the boat on the weekend soon that kind of thing, but you're looking back that was amazing that we got that time really together for you were forced to live with in 39 feet of each other and we didn't kill each other. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't really tell it was great. Thank you did really well.
23:31 I'm going to look at some of your questions that you said that you wanted to answer mom you.
23:41 When we look at childhood, there was a memory that you have of childhood that you said that you wanted to share. What was that thing that was difficult probably.
23:56 I wasn't very popular was very unpopular that actively except with a group of my own three friends. It's like me and for some reason the rather I got chased home from school by a group of I can't remember if it's boys or girls or both.
24:16 It was terrifying and they got closer and closer and closer and I couldn't quite get home and two doors short of my own house. I ran into a friend's house a boy play my same class, but I knew he was safe.
24:32 And when we get in there, they were pounding on the door downstairs and he and I went upstairs in his window above that door and poured water on them. I can't remember how they retaliated after. Oh my gosh. That's funny and it turned out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. But I never lie. I've never heard that a story. Well, what about you Dad? Did you have a best or worst memory of childhood?
25:10 But make something that sticks out just a memory Yeah, just something that anything like that.
25:19 That's really interesting. Where's my real reason why I hate that they didn't tell you about it. Remember the things that the way did you do and I'm here want timer and had a pocket knife and some I know a great. I wasn't 12 years old or something like that and in the end the school building in the laboratory. They had these are wooden petition to between them and I'm ever going in there on time and you know, that's usually put on a show so sudden I looked at a message I can do better than that.
26:11 Squirt Soda pull up my pocket knife at night. I put my initials in the walls of the middle after I carve them in with my knife today that I had. I did a great job. Apparently. I'm in the letters a h m race Banning, Was it one day. I got a call to the principal's office.
26:42 Lesbian don't have had I had I done this the person to know I didn't I then I lied and it was Harold Miller dated. Oh my gosh, he's older than me a couple years older and then I took you did it and it wasn't long after work or if they got ahold of Harold Miller find out you didn't do it then they come back to me.
27:08 Person I had to admit in front of me. I don't hear I am 12 years older than principal. He's a baby.
27:16 The six three years old they in big guy.
27:19 And yeah be crying is all because you're going to have to pay for this, you know, you can't if you'd like should be but then the worst part he took my money in hand invented in that school building went to every room in the high school now just my grave in every room and I had to bend over the desk.
27:39 And give me any other.
27:41 A-Rod and the Big 5 by hand like some more good to wax.
27:48 The course by that time on Hangouts. I'm balling in the next Heat or she told him what I've done a lot of sodium an example of you ever make an example of me. I'm in front of the whole school. Just wow, I bet you didn't lie again. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing humiliated kid. That's one way to keep him from doing something. Did Harold Miller ever come after you press what's up? I never forgot that. It was obviously know how dad bet experience.
28:33 You know that the girls taking my class and she after that they were in a way but they were always very protective Sac around the room one day when I was talking to somebody I'm stuck behind me and hit me over the head with a with a social studies book. The girls were Furious attic.
28:56 So it worked out for you from the girls and you probably never got chased again, and I can't remember why they did. We have selective memory.
29:22 I want to know when you first fell in love with each other from college.
29:31 When is the same time it could be different?
29:37 In love or is like
29:41 When did you know that I was like this is mine.
29:49 Could you ask you know, you're asking her out U of U?
29:54 I think I knew him before he did.
29:59 Did you have to tell him is that much more?
30:17 Visibility I want to first song Sorry my first all right now and met her.
30:26 Should she was walking with us up with a big guy Jack down by the soccer field while we were practicing and then and then I said my buddy joins Isis look at that as can. I don't like that meet her but I did.
30:43 Sometime later. I talked to her in the hall and then talk anymore and then no one worked out, but I don't want the next time you see volume.
30:59 What was it next time you saw me on the porch?
31:09 He was saying goodnight to his girlfriend and I was saying goodnight to my boyfriend say hi internet so much for the respective boyfriend girlfriend.
31:41 But it's just something something like that. How can ever happen that you just somebody realize that you love? Someone is that is very
31:50 Slowly in
31:53 I'm conspicuously I think sometimes it does I think probably more for guys I think girls have more of a oh my god. Did you remember when it was or how sudden?
32:10 But I know I know long before he did. Yeah. Yeah, and I said to wait for him come around.
32:20 Or did you mutually decide to get married?
32:26 I think we just beat you to decide that already. I never proposed.
32:35 I don't remember ever actually not dramatically know the summer after my sophomore year. I know it was Mutual Mutual decision. I think you make decisions together in the future parents and
32:55 We come back to this.
32:58 Colleges after that early, but I got a day or two together.
33:05 Who is after Christmas Vacation probably?
33:15 What was what do you think is the best time in your marriage?
33:20 Oh well.
33:22 Like something that sticks out or the worst time.
33:30 Best times I think when the kids were little
33:34 And having having all of them.
33:40 The whole herd. That was the way it was what I went with what I want to do. My goal in life was to have a family for kids.
33:50 And I got the bar.
33:52 Graph get a degree degree degree was probably as a rival a backup if I had to buy.
34:07 But I wasn't unhappy about getting out of teaching and into staying home with kids to do that. We like that. I like that is great that you're able to was good and the fact that you know, when you were teaching we actually got a lot of time with you fell in a both of you.
34:28 Cuz we had Summers and even though you're working, you know, we got time you weren't like working twenty-four hours a day. And I think when we were young when he really needed you around you were definitely there he was working but I will AutoZone what are the best times I think was when you were younger babies look like this one. Yeah, but smaller 18 ft camper made out of homasote. I was working on my Master's here in Syracuse on the beach. And what school is my heart rate Amazon Freetime a lot of the time right foot trailer you had a playpen in there?
35:25 Play panel is out in the grass. Okay, made up into a crib one side of his crib one side was just the bed. That was a very very smart but never forget it.
35:44 I think that's cool. You guys are very creative for this phone, you know, you don't do just you know, the things that everyone is expected to do I think that's what's made my life's a great, you know for all of us.
35:58 I'm very lucky and I definitely want to continue doing it that we need to do things. We could buy more storage.
36:21 Thank you better be doing it. Thanks for putting this together when we first came up with at a time Ono.
36:30 But the more we thought about it the more it's it's fun your thoughts and you're doing things in your words are really valuable to me. I treasure them. I absolutely treasure them. Thank you.
36:48 But then I'm done going like this.