Lourdes de los Angeles Naranjo and Carmella de los Angeles Guiol

Recorded January 22, 2010 Archived January 22, 2010 37:37 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: MBX006260

Description

Lourdes de los Angeles Naranjo (57) talks with daughter Carmella de los Angeles Guiol (23) about her family’s path from Cuba to the U.S., and her mother’s sacrifices so she could have a better life.

Subject Log / Time Code

Lourdes and her brother left Cuba in 1960. Lourdes remembers the day she left on a plane, leaving their mother behind.
They stayed with their aunt for a while, but she had little space, so they both then went to boarding schools. Her brother ran away a lot, and tried to convincer her to run away with him to Miami, where there were other Cubans. She was nine and refused.
Her mom came later to New Orleans. Lourdes remembers her working very hard and long hours, but always being depressed and crying.
Lourdes’s family lived in the projects. Her friends were getting pregnant at 13, 14, and Lourdes knew she had to study hard as her way out. She got a scholarship to a great high school, and eventually became an attorney.
Lourdes’s mother got cancer and died when she was 57 years old. Lourdes laments that she never lived to see the good times. She only got the hard times. She would have been so proud to have met her granddaughter Carmella.

Participants

  • Lourdes de los Angeles Naranjo
  • Carmella de los Angeles Guiol

Transcript

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00:02 My name is Carmella. They Los Angeles Gill and I'm 23 years old. Today's date is January 22nd, 2010 and where in Miami Florida and I'm going to be interviewing my mother today.

00:16 My name is Lucas and Los Angeles naranjo.

00:21 Today is January 22nd 2010 in Miami Florida at the Wolfson Campus of Miami Dade College. And my daughter Carmel is going to be interviewing me.

00:35 So mommy, where are you originally from Cuba Havana Cuba? And where were your parents from Lavana Cuba? Well, my mother was coming up on and my father was from the countryside in cienfuegos, but my mother's whole family from Love on from the capital. And when do you think they got to Cuba?

00:59 I don't know where my o l i don't know my great that's in my grandfather was born in Cuba and then his father was born in Cuba. Now his family brought came from Spain but I saw on your mother's side and my mother's I'm pretty sure my grandfather was his father. I think was born in Cuba to I say goes back so it goes back. Yeah more like the turn of the century. Yeah, cuz he knew he I know he helped with like they were involved in the independence of Cuba and all that. Right and he was here he was in that early settler, but he was I don't know if he was born in you know, I don't know if he was born in Cuba.

01:36 I don't know. I think it was in on the father's side. I know his parents were born in Cuba, but I'm not sure about his grandparents and I don't really go more of a Countryside Countryside. He was born in Sandia. He was come to my little town called that feeling that which is even smaller. So real like a little town and so how did they meet who my parents is cheap. My mother was at the University and so was my father and I think she has fentanyl. She has finished her. She was finishing college and he was taking courses and also given given courses in public speaking in public. He didn't like to speak and then she took his course right and that's where they met.

02:20 And what other immediate family members did you have? Do you have your mother and father letting me get family members do I have now? Will you had a brother a hell? Yeah, but he's deceased. I had a brother ride and I have to have sisters. I mean, I have an extended family, you know that, you know your aunts and uncles and cousins. And and yeah, so do you want to mention your brother and my brother and told you're not on her right, right, who is

02:59 Older than me by two years.

03:03 And so were you guys close? Yes, we were close. Yeah, pretty close. Yeah.

03:08 Man.

03:10 So do you want to tell us how you came under what circumstances you came to this country?

03:17 Well, I think as you know, you know, we came here because in 1959 Cuba was taking you know, because of the whole Revolution, but the first my family was, you know, hopeful that the Revolution and then in 1959, he took his 1960 that started Rumblings of problems and I'm taking over like private property and then then Castro's regime start taking over our private property, you know, they took you know just problems with pianos your businesses and then my aunt left in 1960 with her five kids and all his or her, you know, her husband's family left and then then my mother decided by that time then you know, there was a lot of problems and Q but they were afraid to the kids. We're going to be taken to the countryside to be in a reduction aided in communism and it was all this stuff. So then they decided my mother decided that do, you know she wanted us to leave she didn't want us to be stuck there. There was a problem.

04:17 Down, so they got us a Visa for my aunt was able to get us a Visa for my brother, and I and my mother couldn't get a Visa because she was a teacher and that then by that time already there was a lot of problems with people leave leaving and all out, you know, all this stuff. So, but my and was able to get a visa for my brother, and I my grandmother had already left, and she let me know they were New Orleans and so me and my brother were able to leave in September.

04:47 What 1961 we were able to leave by ourselves? Yes, and yeah, what date was it was the day of my life, but I think it's in the daylight Lenexa Senor De La Caridad Del cobre the Cubans virgin, right? I think it was September 8th, and that's when we laugh my brother and I are we didn't know what was happening. We weren't sure.

05:13 We didn't know no, no, nobody explained. I mean no nobody explained things to us. Now they did and they probably should have explained more things to us. How did you feel getting on that plane, It was terrible. It was really sad. Yeah, it was bad and my mother left behind.

05:32 It was Bass.

05:43 It was tough it was and I mean we were kids of course, so we didn't really realize you know, the change that that would come to our lives but we knew that we were leaving and we saw the turmoil in my mother crying and my uncle came to the airport and my grandfather came and then we had some uncles and answer came. It was all these people at the airport and you know, I mean when we were upset, you know, we didn't know what was going on. But I knew I was leaving my mother had never loved my mother behind, you know, I have never left my family. So, you know, we we we we I was very upset and and you know, we got here and let me know what's good that my aunt was waiting for me at the airport and you know, but it was definitely a I was a it was a trip of 90 miles at change our whole lives.

06:36 And what did you leave with? I love myself and my two dolls and the thing one suitcase and I was able to bring clothes and we were able to leave finally we were actually able to leave the one of the few flights before they close down the airlines to Cuba after that. I think within a month the commercial flight stopped flying to Cuba but we left in September and there was still commercial flights leaving to cube from Cuba and it was actually we flew to New Orleans and I think was in the month after that that you know, things got even worse and they close all the commercial flights and basically the flights could only go to Miami, so we were actually left. We actually were we took one of the last commercial flight to New Orleans Louisiana to New Orleans It was a commercial flight to New Orleans. Yeah. And so if they close the commercial flights, how is your mother able to come he was able to get a Visa just as she came through, Miami

07:36 You know, she was able to come through Miami but you know, they became much harder to leave because it was a thing van or whatever. I don't really know but I know it's much harder to leave because it was only the flight from Cuba to Miami. So those were the only flights that were available to people so, you know, that was it but there wasn't like commercial flights, you know back and forth and stuff and when we left it was a commercial flight and it actually flew into New Orleans. So yeah, can you describe those first couple of days?

08:10 Well, it was seeing how it was a mean we had lived in to see no we had another thing is we have lived in a big house and Q will with my grandmother and my grandfather my uncle. My mother was divorce me and my brother and my great-grandmother and you know everyday people came to eat at our house and they would be family member stopping and them dinner the table might be 12 people at a table because we know my grandmother had brothers and sisters and so they were stopping by in the hours me they could come to eat with my family I grew up with this, you know, the center of this big extended family. You know, what that was young, you know, instead of putting in my aunt with her five children and all her family and cousins and going to the beach and you know, there was always family around it's always always and you know every day for lunch. I remember that we're dead be sitting and they might be 12 people everyday for lunch. And then when we get to New Orleans we go up my aunt takes me to this little bitty House of New Orleans, and I thought it was a dog

09:10 You know, this is Lil B halogen headlight very, you know, very low ceilings and it was your typical Suburban House in Gentilly Woods. I mean, it was just a typical Suburban Town 911, but it was tied at a living room little tiny living room. And then she had her five children with 3 bedrooms, but I never was Tiny, you know, and I remember thinking is this like is this a doll house? I was totally and then she told me she said there was really no place for us to do, you know, there were three to a room and everything like that. So and one of them was sleeping in the living room. So I guess one of my cousin was sleeping in the living room. And so they had said, well, you know, I think it was the Catholic Charities the Catholic Charities of New Orleans or something and you know, they were helping up like the Peter Pan whole thing helping with the kids and stuff. And I mean, those are the kids who came here to New Orleans today.

10:10 But in New Orleans they had I think it's called the Catholic Charities and they were helping the kids also who were coming with that parents. And so they said well, you know, you couldn't you have to go, you know, you have to go to a public trial they put us in his that you have to go to a to a boarding-school, you know, and I was like a boarding-school, you know, I was like I was like home II I was I was petrified. I was petrified, you know, I would like and then they took me to a boarding-school. I guess that's Sunday. I came in and that Sunday and you know that I remember seeing squirrels and mean I remember seeing squirrels, you know, like in the streets have your uncle but you're never so squirrels and people speak in English and by that time, you know, my cousin's already had spoke being spoken English and I was like and then they took me to this boarding school and I thought I was going to have that said okay. I'm really going to die like by the second day. I just lost it. I mean the second day I was like

11:10 You know I said diag, you know this I cannot just as you know was and we were you know, it was a nice cool. It was run by the sisters of Sisters of Mercy. I don't even know what to say. They were nice and that's were nice. But it was you know, we was like we were in a big dormitory and then my brother went to another school. He was I don't you know that time I don't even know where he was and it was a dormitory-style and stuff like that. But you know, I didn't speak a word of English and also knew I had no everybody spoke English. I wasn't a no.

11:42 I mean, I feel so alone. I feel like my world had just in a completely like disintegrated. I was like this cannot be happening to me. I knew it was just like this, you know, I always liked it. But that's what they call my aunt and my aunt says there's really nothing I can do this. Just know you know, I mean, what could they do? I mean I can understand now, but you know, I always wanted to leave for yes. I wanted to go back we knew I had was raising a family. I was racing with an extended family. I had my great-grandmother was always next to me and my grandmother and my grandfather my uncle my cousin's that mean I was I was raised with family. I was hugging me and kissing, you know, me and my brother we we had a great life weekend. I mean, we didn't know it's him, but it was an extended family people coming in and out, you know, you were living in the middle of this huge family was wonderful and awesome to be put into this boarding school and you didn't speak English and

12:41 I mean I felt it was really I a side like and then it was hard. I have to admit it was it was seeing her and then it was hard. It really was hard. I miss my mother. I didn't know what was going to happen. I mean that my whole world just came just came tumbling down, you know, and how is your brother taking you? He took it bad to be just what he did he would just run away from the school.

13:06 You know, I mean I wouldn't dare to do that. He just decided he would just run away and go just run away. I don't even know he just learned his way around one time. He came to visit me and I don't even know how he got to my school. But he was very he hadn't he was very Savvy and I don't even know how to speak English. I don't know I still date, you know, he wanted me to run away with him. I don't know. Miami because of they were Cubans in Miami. I don't even know, you know, my father my brother always had these you know, and I was like, yeah, let's go. Let's go right now right now. It's just I can't leave. You know, he just

13:59 We going to make it to Miami and maybe maybe that's back to Cuba or something. You know, I don't even do it but I was like but where we could just leave how we going to eat that don't have to do so I said, no. I I can't I can't I can't leave.

14:19 What is this is your mother who is in Cuba? Did she know what was going on?

14:26 A Bug's Life is what is what is hurting?

14:31 Yeah, I think she probably knew that. Yeah, thanks. I guess I don't really know me.

14:36 Mother's deceased and down, but I think she knew because things were hard and I knew that my and she knew that my aunt had my grandmother and you know every but nobody had any money. So I think probably you know, I probably think that probably think she did know that we would have to be placed in some kind of a schooling or some kind of boarding school or something because there was no place to just stay with my aunt, you know, so I think she probably knew I don't know why she didn't tell me maybe she didn't want to maybe she didn't want to frighten us and you know, we may be we would have thrown a bigger fish, you know, but yeah, yeah, I know. I think she knew she probably knew I would imagine they have told her when did she come over he came over and I think she came over like like a few months later. She came she was able to leave like in January.

15:33 You know, she was able to leave but then she she had nothing and she didn't have a house. I guess you stayed with my aunt, She had to stay you stay with my aunt, but we couldn't leave the board. But at least you know where my aunt she came in. So that was a relief and then she actually had to feel when you're sorry Mom. I was happy and I was happy but I was happy I was very ecstatic but you know, the problem with is that my mother then came and she was she was very depressed. Do you know my mother know right away. She you know, she had been a principal of a school in Cuba. She happy hair doctor in that I go here when you know, she was from a high-society. She didn't have to go to school. She knew that she was financially stable and I didn't know I was you know, I'm going to go to school. I'm going to go to the university. You know, I think she was probably the first person in her family to go to the university, you know, I mean really thinking about it. I mean her even her sister didn't go to the university I mean

16:33 Her brother definitely didn't go to the university and you know, she has her life. I settled she had a great life and she was settled and she had her home so she had her Financial Security and she had a job that she loved and when she was dying Cuban like she was a principal in the afternoon. I think they took turns the somebody was a principal in the morning and somebody was a principal in the afternoon. So she was the principal of the public school a little bit of the outskirts. I remember going to the school. It wasn't on Havana and Havana pray was in a place Car Financial yarrow. So it was I think it was a little bit outside of Havana, but she loved you know, she loved her job. She loved her and she loved her life. She loved her know. She loved her life and she had her life planned for me. She had worked hard you've done to school. She got her degree and you know, my mother knew the states my mother when she was young she had been since they had lived a year in New York City. I've told you no because my grandparents Love New York, so they took her

17:33 Because you know and then they left you when they just set up a house in New York City and they love me just for fun. And she was there when she was thirteen, but for fun, it was fun. And then I think they would come over and then she will actually went to when she was in high school. She actually went to a school in Northern Russia when you pictures of her in North Carolina and something College, I forget the name of the college, but it was like I guess a little more like a high school like that. Forget the name of it is said that she was there for maybe semester, you know, just trying to learn English but neither was I was I was for fun and she went to New York and she asked me one time. She actually stayed in New York asking for 6 months and she work and she works in one of the big stores, you know when she had her friend. It wasn't like she didn't know that she didn't know the United States. I mean she knew New York very well and she they would come to Miami location little you know a lot and it would take you no remember those days people took the cruise ships and my grandfather.

18:33 Word for one of those cruise ships American some rare line cruise cruise ship that went to New York. It's a she knows that I mean, she never I mean that was her fun-loving my mother understood that her life was tough and you know, it was it was that I don't she never she never recovered. I mean, she never I remember she got a job in a factory in your earliest when she came at me somebody for her. I guess. I don't know exactly they offered her a job in the factory and she's funeral is working in a factory, but I don't even know I don't know. I don't really even know what kind of factory was it. It was a factory right there close to Gentilly woods and I guess you could take the bus cuz she know she didn't know how to drive in and out, but you know, I think she would she probably real life drivers in Cuba.

19:33 I don't even know I guess you took the bus to you and Cuba was a very Cosmopolitan sending you two buses. I remember taking the bus with her but I guess it was always somebody my uncle this one the other you know, but if she needed a car, I don't know if she never gets you never learned how to drive but neither did my grandfather and neither did my grandmother and that my uncle, you know, my uncle that you miss your fellow he knew how to drive. So he love to drive it wasn't he always had but I know she didn't drive she didn't drive but I think she understood that her life. You know, she never recovered. She never recover from I mean, I remember sitting and she was crying and you know, I think her world really came tumbling down and she just she knew was it was going to be bad if she knew that the rest of her family didn't stay in New Orleans now and then on top of that then within a year or family who have been in New Orleans to Society of New Orleans was in the right place for them.

20:30 It wasn't the rice Place food for them and they left for Venezuela. Some people went to Puerto Rico bunch of the winter Puerto Rico someone to Venezuela Sunday moved in move to Costa Rica and her sister move to Puerto Rico with her five children because her husband was starting a business there with his brother. They were starting a whole business thing and in Puerto Rico and they feel more comfortable then I guess because I spoke Spanish and I really think your mother didn't want to go along and I think you know what happened. She did go there for like 6 months. I think she actually went to Puerto Rico for 6 in the morning. I went to stay with my father that was in Chicago. He had been he had to come and then left for Chicago, but she realized it Puerto Rico wisdom, you know, I think she she was still was a tough place to make a living, you know, it was a tough place to make a living and she'll she decided.

21:27 You know she decided it was really a tough place for a single woman, you know with her two kids to make a living and that there was a lot of crime and there was a lot of problems and stuff. And so she just so she came back to New Orlean I said I said I said she decided to come back to New Orleans you go to the New Orleans was you through. Yeah, it was just us three of my grandmother then would come and spend long periods of time with us her mother. Yeah. Yeah. So tell us what it was like growing up in New Orleans have a good memory is all bad.

21:59 No, it was it was it was hard. It was a hard because you know, my mother worked and ever so my mother she got up at 5 in the morning to take the bus and you know, and then my mother was not, you know in an emotional she was always depressed and she wasn't happy but I mean

22:17 I tried I went to a parochial school. We lived in the housing projects and I walk to school and you know, how about that time? I had learned English and so is doing good in school and friends. And so it was that yet me for me was okay. I mean, you know if I hadn't seen my mother so upset but you know, it wasn't we didn't do much. I mean we didn't do anything spectacular anything like that, but it was kind of my mother worked really hard and we had a house. I mean we had food on the table and I had a school that I went to and I just worked I just I remember thinking very early on I have got to study really hard. That's what you'll remember thinking that the way to get out of here because you know, I saw a lot of stuff around me like girls getting pregnant when they were 13 and 14. I mean it was the housing project. So you had a lot on Lok. Let me not local.

23:17 Resume non-educated people they are so my friend across the street she comes she was pregnant at 14 the other one across the street. She comes she was pregnant at 14 days when all around and I remember my mother wasn't you know, my mother was like a good as you realize that you know, this is not the way to go. I mean you realize you need to study and so she do something. Yeah. She did she says look you have to see how that is going on. Cuz of course she wasn't home so I could have done whatever I wanted, and I could have gone out with a boy mean she came home at 7 at night. So she knew that I was completely free to do what I wanted to do. Really, you know it I didn't mean to see my grandmother couldn't walk me my mother and my grandmother pretty much stayed at home. She's so she knew that if I wanted to go off and get pregnant so I could do it if you just said something, you know, I think you really need to try to study and you know, that was never an option for me. I always said, you know, how can I just study?

24:17 And get in try to make a way for myself. I mean, I always knew that an end for myself and get out of this.

24:25 Kind of hole we were in you know, this is very this hole that we were in so I always knew that my way out of this lifestyle to see you know, tough tough life. So remember we didn't have a car we have to go do our groceries with me and my mother and then bring it in in the bus. We didn't have we have a washer we have a dryer. So my mother worked all day and then on Saturdays and Sundays, he was go by piano by bus or by walking go to the groceries, you know, do the groceries come back, you know, then wash the clothes, you know, then then go to the dry. I am the clit Washateria, you know wash the clothes get that done and that was the whole weekend was kind of spend doing that and then hopefully my mother would get some rest too so she could get up like at 5:00 in the morning the next day. So I mean I saw it was a hard life. I mean there was no there were no frills. We didn't buy shoes with him by we have no money for

25:25 Close we had no money. We didn't have the money for a TV. I think somebody finally gave us a TV or something me some but people gave us our furniture, you know, if people were nice to us, I mean, they know I don't know if it was the veterans are some Sherry, you know, some charity group actually came and gave us the bed bed. But but at that time, we'd even have a TV or anything. So, you know, I'm so I mean it so I saw my mother struggle everyday, you know, really struggle, you know counting every penny and you know trying to account for every penny and don't pay for a little parochial school. And and how is your brother doing and he was doing okay, but my brother was another one. I don't think he never he really did not just do the laws my brother never he he he he never quite you know, I mean, I type I said, this is a new life and I'm going to do well and I'm going to study and I think my brother was like just could never could get over.

26:25 What had happened to him? You know, he could never go give me he got married young and everything like that, which was good. Right but I think in his mind, he just didn't quite a you know, he never quite accept it, you know, it's a singles accepting, you know, what has happened to you. He just like my mother really never could accept it. I don't think like okay this is happening and let's go for something, you know, but she was here she felt very alone while she was a long she felt alone because she was alone and I mean father was in Chicago and he didn't call us and so my mother, you know, like one time she told me she says, you know, I was afraid if I get sick you'll be on the streets and you know, and she was right. I remember one time she got sick and she had to actually go in the hospital and she was so worried and I have to go back to work after what's up with Mommy. You're sick, you know, and and she was like no I have to go back to work. I can lose my job because then we won't be able to

27:25 The rent so my mother was so petrified that we would be homeless if she could know something happened to her like a sickness. There's there's no it would be no, there's no question there and we would be on the street. Do you know so her whole thing was I've got to get back to work cuz I can't lose my job. I can't do you know, I can't lose my job so that I can you know, because then if I lose my job then then we'll be homeless and you've told me now that you've always felt that you needed to study in you always were very focused and very driven to to allies to work hard and I wouldn't do you think that you were able to to give her some comforts?

28:09 Where are you now? Will you know that was kind of sad because what happened is, you know, I was very driven and then I was given a scholarship to the best high school in New Orleans. The nun said you want to go to Mercy Academy. My mother was like a like a mess and no mommy. They going to eat on a cheat even know where it was. You know, I mean it was in a different part of New Orleans. It was in the nice part of New Orleans uptown. So I took her there and at least meet with her and say no we wouldn't give her a scholarship and you know, I would have to take three buses there. But you know, that's where I wanted to go. But that's the thing is so then I studied really hard there. Then I went to you know, then I went to law school after that. I'm in the way. I mean, I went to call it and went to college, you know, but he know I really had that I was very driven, you know, and I have I worked really hard and then from college and went to law school and then she got sick.

29:02 What happens if you get sick and get can cancer, you know and she died. So, you know, I was out of ice. I was out of college a year. Maybe when when she when she got sick. Yeah, so whenever you know, it was like I'll never I mean I think you know, I think she was cuz she understood that I had finished college and they had gone to law school and and all that but I think it is sometimes I think my mother got sick because she was in on it was like her body just ain't no man. It was almost like couldn't take to see you know, if I think that's why why would she if she didn't ring? She didn't smoke she wasn't overweight. You know, she ate well, but I think mentally and emotionally, you know, she was very upset and I was headed headaches and you know, she wasn't well she wasn't well and I think

29:54 I don't know and I don't know and I'm just saying, you know, but they say how the mind is very important for your for your health for your physical health in my mother, you know was not her mind. You just mentally she was not happy and physically and emotionally she was not happy and she dies she got she was the mirror. She was like 50 was young. I think she's seen. You know, she got she was 57 years old. So right when you know,

30:23 Things could have been much better.

30:29 So, what do you think she would think about your life now?

30:51 Super just been so happy to see you saddled. And you know, I'm married and you know, you have a wonderful father and then you have teeth too wonderful girl you and your sister and you know, she could have lived with us if she was alive and you know, we on at home and now we live in Miami next to the family and the families together again, and you know, we all live within 10 minutes of each other and you know, she would have been so proud of you and you know, and I've got happy and that's what I sometimes. I just that's what really upsets me and you know that she would let me see she had the hard times and she never get to enjoy the good times. She never she never made it to the good times. She just made it through the hard times.

31:44 And that really upset, you know, that's an upsetting cuz she could have had she really had a hard life and she worked her butt off and work and work and work and work and made us, you know, made us go through made us what we are and you know giving us at home and instability and inspiring me to work in but then she died before the good times came before the Rings game. You know, I see you she would have loved him and God she would have been crazy about you and with Gabby and she would have you know, that is said is one of my biggest loss in my in my life and she never got to meet you. You know, what can I say? That's you know, cuz she was I was I think that about that every day and the older I get, you know, you realize the older you get you realize how hard you really must have been tough for her to be by herself. You know, that means as you get older you have your family you have your children and you know you real.

32:44 He said you need support and I have my cousins and you know, I have support and I think he or she was in New Orleans without any support. I mean no support whatsoever. I mean, I don't even know how she did it. I don't know how she didn't go crazy. I I don't I couldn't have done it. I really I don't know. I don't think I know I got I don't think I could have done it, you know because she was a fish out of water in the world and she know I mean we were living in a very American, you know, it's an American we weren't living like I think if she would lived in Miami would have been better because everybody would have had that shared experience of loss of people get together to talk about Cuban the loss and everything but in she did me and I'll mention you some Cubans in New Orleans, but they all live far away, you know wasn't a community and then she was working 12 hours a day. So she really didn't have much time to socialize except to talk on the phone, but I think in Miami, I think that's like he went skiing to started coming here because they had a share.

33:44 Do the shared past of disintegrate laws and everybody understood you don't have to explain and I remember even like being in high school life looking back now and being in high school and I was going to a very rich wealthy high school and you know, I was living in the housing projects and these girls would be like, you know, they were so different from me. It was like and they would be nitpicking about shoes or something, you know was like and I always feel very apart because I realize now I mean at that time I didn't realize it but of course, you know what I had going through, you know that, you know, they were worrying about I don't know maybe what color shoes or this or that you know, the normal things it will ruin about the normal things that to me was like, you know, it was my life and not been normal. So, you know, I I just I could never fit in really bottom line is I really could not fit in because my my my experiences

34:41 We're so different from theirs. You know, I have a list of home. I lost my family had lost everything, you know my our financial security my mother everything, you know, and then I didn't know any Cubans really so I wasn't aware. I was very angry with that guy said no wonder I feel so apart from all these people, you know, I try to fit in and never I really couldn't fit in.

35:04 So do you feel like you finally come to a place where you can fit in and you know, it's I got older I did make some good friends and you know it on my friends.

35:21 Also, I am thinking of those friends are good friends. And there are you know, they're my friends from New Orleans and everything like that and I just had to get a little older and you know nut and to be able to accept this is who I am. I am not like you I've had very different experiences into Valley of those experienced and cherish them because you know, they are who I am, but yeah now yeah, I think coming to Miami you grew up now know when your family and that makes me happy that you grew up knowing your family and surrounded by your crazy face emoji with are good and they're Bad and the Ugly and my uncle then we move to Miami with in my uncle who loves you and you know, and he lives next door and her daughters and my cousins and he knows so in a way that was another thing that makes me happy that you have you erase, you know, I was so lonely New Orleans to growing up, you know, my me know my mother never said we know

36:21 Celebrated Christmas. We never celebrated. We don't celebrate birthdays were celebrated. Nothing. We can celebrate anything, you know, and you know, she we didn't we were very alone. We were very isolated and I think you know, I hope you don't feel isolated. That was one thing. I didn't want y'all to grow up feeling isolated to grow up feeling no with the family and with friends and with you know people around you.

36:53 A Wonderful Life

37:03 So, thank you.

37:06 Thank you Camella. I hope I sprayed my friend my best. I hope that you know, I hope you haven't you had a

37:18 You've been avoiding a lot from our family. Thanks for sharing your story, Mommy.

37:25 Okay camera.

37:29 I love you.

37:30 U2