Jamaal Fisher and Marquita James

00:02 My name is Marquita James. I'm 24 today is December 1st 2010. I'm here in Montgomery, Alabama with Jamal whom I just met but I'm looking forward to getting to know a little better.

00:14 Good afternoon. My name is Jamal fishing and I am 30 and today is December 1st 2010 and I'm here at Montgomery, Alabama at Alabama State University having a wonderful discussion with Marketo.

00:28 How's your mom? So glad that you decided to stop by today for an appointment. You mentioned earlier that you wanted to dedicate this recording to someone. You're just a little more about that. Yes, I would like to dedicate this or a story to Damien Harrington, who is my like more like a brother than a cousin who died unexpectedly lost this past March, but he lives on through his beautiful child on Jayden Monica Harrington and it is what Espiritu me and inspired me to make sure that I'm very cognizant of oral tradition and then keeping my legacy alive and leaving something for Jaden and all the future generations of my family, but could you

01:18 Could you describe your cousin a little what was he like Damien was my alter-ego that just like there is Sasha Fierce. There is Damien to Jamal's. I'm the book smart. Academic Damien was the life smart. Jay-Z has nothing on Damien Damien had any guess where I can Raptor Center Brooklyn to the fullest. He was a DJ DJ's name was TJ combie, but he was also the light up our family always having a quick wet always business-savvy always hustling and always man and make those still and so I've always encouraged him to write a book, fortunately. He did live long enough to be able to do that. But I hope to be able to remember some of the wisdom that he's passed on and they continue to share that with Jaden and the rest of my family with some of that wisdom.

02:10 Well, no offense to that the Americans in the house, but we had the saying about American women and so his wife is from Aruba. And so he always encouraged me to travel internationally and not to limit myself to the oceans of America but go abroad and see some of the other things that are out there. I'm just used to my settings. Sometimes the mentality of laid-back atmosphere and I felt about some Kali know that very well. So that was smaller things but just always did the biggest monitor that you have. Let's just do you and keep it moving and so even when the family will get upset or criticize some of the things that decisions that he might have made or say. I don't know why you're doing that need. They didn't matter. He didn't get upset and then fuss just say I'm just going to do me and keep them moving and so I try to keep it moving and not stay on, you know what the better in there so that I the negative things of life for a while, but just fit maybe a few seconds.

03:10 You said you and they met grew up together. We didn't grow up together in a sense of being in the same state or down the street from one another but we always have been in each other's lives by me being raised as a single child Damien always look to my older male siblings as two older brothers had never had so I'm Dania lived in New York. I was born and raised in California. So I will see him during the time that I would visit my father in New York, my mother and father were split up. So I'm that's the time that I was fine with him. He's come out to California wine and I always tell the story and we'll tell it to Jaden to about the first time you can't sell late. I was when we were in the midst of the the battle between the Crips and bloods Gangsta are and that we could not go anywhere that summer because Damien was so afraid of anybody who had even red or blue not realizing that the California Angels fell to their colors there. So many reasons why Californians may have

04:10 Combination of red and blue on but he was petrified even though you with all their new at this street tough guy from Brooklyn, we could not go anywhere. So I celebrating my birthday that year Chuck-E-Cheese even though I was well older than most of the people there but we cannot go to Magic Mountain or Disneyland or something other places cuz he was so afraid of having to be in the messed-up McCain battle that was just a contrast and I remind him of that when he used to think that he was so much tougher than what he was the California. You wasn't so tough. Then I want to say that I was probably

04:50 Maybe about 11 and Damien would have been in his team's so you know, I was at that point where I thought I had outgrown a lot of things in life, even though I was in that old and definitely going to Chuck-E-Cheeses not the highlight of my summer.

05:05 Remember anything else from a summer for summer? He came just like brothers because he he would like to watch TV and I wanted to go outside and go to different places. But because we had this self-imposed Asylum. I'm inside of the comfort of our house if they knew was afraid of the world in California that time that left us a lot of opportunities just being an hour to get on each others nerves some other things. I remember I said he that's responsible for killing my only bird that I almond life big bird who was a beautiful African Mccalla beautiful colors look like he came off the Kodak commercial and the last thing I said that they knew before I went to school what makes your big bird has food and water and when I came home before it was not flying around in the cage.

05:53 And I said they knew you seem big birthday to get out the cage The Hollies in the cage. So I was small enough that I had to climb on a chair in order to look into the cage and Arabic for wise he was in the cage. She just wasn't breathing a responded to anything. He had died because the summer heat up California had crept up and I'm on a man. He did not have water to cool himself. And so these are some of them last lasting memories. I have of my wonderful loving brother cousin Damion.

06:25 And you see you've been thinking a lot about what your legacy will be I have and I'm usually spend The Human Experience to wait until March to get in your golden years if they say to think about what you want to leave behind to the Next Generation, but at Dana's untimely death of 33 and I'm not being so far removed from that age myself. I realize that the Golden Ages to life that you live in right now and then we may not ever get to the. That. We normally would reserve for that kind of reflection. So every day that I get up. I am committed to doing something purposeful meaningful that if I should be called home at that age then somebody will remember something even on my way over here at made the time to connect. Excuse me, what that previous coworker that I supervise just to remind her about her Legacy that she's complaining about the

07:25 Working at us at the retail clerk at a department store realize and you know how blessed she is evening that experience is 1.3 point plus million people looking for work remind her to even out that job sucks even know that that job sucks. There's a lot of the worst job so she could be doing that look supposed to a lot different type of environment and life experience and what she has now so you don't like that in your sight. Just keep it moving do what you got to do to keep it moving challenge for you to

07:57 Live in the now

08:01 Is a challenging a says that a lot of my close friends say that I think too much and that may be partly because I'm currently without cable or any other distraction. And so I have nothing but the Solitude to be able to contemplate life and things and then to be a little more attention all about how I left life. So the challenges that X is that it would seem that it almost to kill the joy of living when you have to think so much about I'm what I call living in three different times at the same breath, which is past present and future everything that we do it's going to be in those same three frames of reference. If so, you know in and thinking about future as I'm living down and thinking about my past and also how this moment will become part of the past at least do something for discussions and some even deeper Revelations that that's how I'm still at the age of 30.

09:01 Stars are frankly scary and it seemed to be over and I can overwhelm but it's not a problem that I think it's bad to have because it does help set up a framework for actions and decisions that I make. So how

09:24 Actions, what are some of your actions changed I suppose since you've begun to live this way.

09:30 I guess.

09:34 What what is really? It's not so much change as it's been refined. I've always been deemed as the person of the old soul from the time that I was born. A lot of things. I didn't do such a skipping school or joining gangs myself or some of the other nonsense that normally we're allowed to do as children before we have the conversion of growing up and putting childish things away. I didn't do because I'll always thought I had to this point of life that I'm in now. I'm never completely being able to Envision where I would end up but knowing that I had the purpose and I guess did the conversion point for me was I had a crisis at the age of 13 where I decided that you know, this life is too much too. And you know that we are focusing now nationally on bullying I was fully everything and it's just seemed like the world was conspiring against me. This wasn't a war.

10:34 How to make believe in my mind this was the real Nikes and blows to me as I'm walking home to do, you know getting punched in the stomach after eating lunch just for the heck of it. It's the taunting in the classroom that the teacher just has no way of controlling its the the lonely walk down, you know from the school back to home and having to know that there's a mob of people chasing after you that sure I could run but you know, how many days will I have to run before eventually I just have to give up. So it was just easier to accept the beatings and accept the reticule doing that stop the time seeing and a constant harassment even though you know, as we are in Montgomery died not mention this before to others even being removed off a city bus by an African-American bus driver simply for invoking the name Rosa Parks and refusing to give up my seat in the fries to go back in the back where my the Mobsters are the game.

11:34 What are the people who are causing me to have such turmoil life or sitting and so happened to be bypass every time that that bus driver was driving a trout have no redirect my whole way home. So I just decided that 11 was too much if having such a great place that's where I wanted to go and that have the peace of mind and lock down the golden streets and dip my fingers and hands in the healing streams. And what say it to me really was I my mother and I are a package still and I did not want to think about what her future would be without me being there knowing that she had made so many sacrifices for me to be there and then make it to the point of age 13. And so at that point is when I begin to work on my life philosophy to really live purpose will I knew that something great was going to happen in life and all I had to do was remain faithful and steadfast and then I really took God at his word.

12:34 Went from just saying I was a Christian and having a Bible to you said you're going to be a refuge. So you need to be a refuge and that's how it's possible or you know, you see what's going on. I need some protection. And so I need you to do what you said you were going to do and the Lord has not failed me yet. I've made it this far through his grace and his help and so it's just been a constant refinement and that's become 8:30 at I don't see it ask going down here. I don't see it as me being an old I see now that I'm I'm more free and more emancipated to live out my life. The way that I had in those earlier stages of my life at age 13 had decided that I wanted to live in it. So I'm living my life.

13:17 Fully completely on the bashed Legacy firm in my mind and the Legacy will be that I live my life as I wanted to live not because of preconceived notions or out of fear of what people may think they're respond to I'm just going to live my life and when it's over it's over.

13:40 Where does that mean? You're headed? Does that mean you don't plan?

13:44 Demi says planning but there's always planning to be flexible to with the plans, you know this whole experience of over how I ride to Montgomery my ride to Montgomery chavinda next door neighbor to two or three surviving civil rights activist at the Montgomery Bus Boycott. However, I to Montgomery after going to a family reunions where you have one Freedom Fighters that remain the honorable Congressman John Lewis, speak of a ride to all the places of her purpose in my life has com-web some some thinking about how I want to get there but then just completely allow myself to be free to be dictating guide it to those points and the way that everything I guess. I'm a folded it's in the way that I will never be able to unfold I will make a mess out at this life. And so I'm just glad that things happen the way that they have and you know it

14:44 Plan, but then you also plan to do something differently to.

14:50 So you're new to Montgomery? I am I just been here for maybe about two months. And how is that my play my live right next door to Reverend Robert graetz and Jeannie grass who learned to break rages white citizens of Montgomery that time who stood up and was a part of the Montgomery Improvement Association and we also live right across the street from where F Scott Fitzgerald also lived and so Montgomery is a lot quieter than Los Angeles or Chicago or New York's on the other bigger city. So I've been in but the Solitude has been enriching and so now I find myself writing essays and commentaries about my life experience and what's going on here and so I'm just engaged in the history and and a time that I'm in and having a wonderful ride while I'm here.

15:50 Being an understudy. It's not lonely. Unless you don't do anything with all the free opportunity you have now to realize that you're by yourself and and the beat by itself and that's really how I make the distinction between being lonely and being in an inner ear itching Solitude. I miss that I'm using the time Along 2 really two things to do, you know, I said two different to my passionate riding to go out here and create a rich Legacy not waiting to 64 doing it now. So I'm every Tuesday. I've committed myself to tutoring Middle School elementary high school students and a subject that I absolutely hate it and coming out which is math, but I'm committed to doing now then and part of that experience is not just what we actually go over to concept the algorithms to dirhams, but it's also giving them the encouragement for them to seeing

16:47 Someone who looks like damn who also struggle with math and know that you can still be successful. That's all I'm getting them to speak up and be confident. My students will tell you that I always tell him you are going to be constantly wrong or you want me confidently, right, but you will be confident. We will not say I think the answer is a lotto know and maybe you know, you will speak with confidence. And so that's also boosting their own self confidence and not only the subject but also and how they left their life. And so that's another way that I'm trying to prepare them for the future your ass. I'm also leaving. I'm hopefully a valuable gift with them in and they want to watch sessions that we have. So I'm you don't just really again using my time wisely and that and that's what is enriched my life and made this took me over to the point of being lonely to just understand it out. I'm in a Solitude experience right now. You're talkin about enriching solitude.

17:45 When you have a very robust internal life and I'm just curious. What's your earliest memory is the first thing you can recall the first thing that I can recall from life from Life, okay?

17:59 The first thing I can recall is that

18:02 My mother used to say and in this is how early to memory is when I was still sleeping in the crib. My mother used to have my Crab House in Hearne bedroom. And I guess always curious. I remember it distinctly denied that the crib was moved from the bedroom to the kitchen and that's because I was curious about all nocturnal activities that happened in the back room and saw when I heard something that is third my rest. I stood up on my two feet and I put my head through the bars and I was completely engage an experience of life and I guess for some of my mother that might have made her very uncomfortable. And so when we talk about my memory around dinner table such a Thanksgiving always remember you don't want me to go back in time and tell you my first earliest memory. And so that's my earliest memory. I remember seeing the activities at night and then I remember the next morning I was next to

19:02 Refrigerator I couldn't understand now. How did I get to the refrigerator and then always never determined to I've always determined not to allow anything to stop me. I didn't jump out of the crib and crawl to my mother's back room where I traditionally used to slip sleep. So I'm that require. My mother didn't to lower the bed mattress for crib mattress so that I wasn't there to do that but I was determined still the same place my earliest memory and how does your mother respond to what's up with that comes up at the dinner table? What is she sick? There's always embarrassed that I can still remember that that that 30 years ago. And I don't remember how I don't know what the ages of children when they're and Chris, but I imagine that it's pretty much been almost like a 29-28 your memory and I still just as bad when they're fresh. I can tell with such conviction when I tell that story and I think that embarrasses her as well.

19:57 What's your mother like?

20:01 What is my mother? My mother is like me. My mother is like me. I have a lot of her mannerisms. I have my father's quiet spirit. And if you can imagine that I am quiet them only talkative because it is a recording but the herb for her tenacity for not being discriminated against or allow anybody to put a knee artificial barriers on her. I have a lot of that. I'm very vocal and my mother has been in the fire of every major social movement of her time from you know, the Black Panthers to the rastas to just protesting in front of the white house while we were in the administration policies of Nixon. She spends always on the floor front. So she's always been my local civil rights person is always giving me the tools to stand up and speak up for myself. So I'd always stand tall and I walk with purpose and it's

21:01 No matter if I'm the youngest or the shortest verse in the room or if I'm in coach, my mother has taught me that I'm a first-class notable person and person of tubes to be respected and then I feel that and I live that. What's one of your favorite memories of her?

21:20 One of my favorite memories of my mother.

21:24 That's such a wide collection of memories can be any of them.

21:32 Trying to think.

21:37 My mother cuz she's she's a very interesting person. I guess going back one of my

21:44 One of my favorite memories his I guess it's when my mother came to my Aid my mention earlier about being bullied and so as a result of being beaten and having to not develop on the back of my head from walking from school back to home. I guess it really concern my mother and so I remember my mother went to confront these I want to be gangsters and in at their house and she was full of fire and I was almost afraid for her cuz she she threatened all kind of things she was going to do if they ever came in close proximity to me again course, I was in the car embarrassed, but I knew what that was going to mean the next day or the next walk. She had a gun and she's always reminding me that you know, even that no one knowing that as a baby. I was going to be taller than her that if she couldn't beat me then she knew how to shoot

22:40 Associa remind at these wannabe gangster. So if you can imagine this was like a traditional showdown of the Wild Wild West instead of a dusty road. And you know, that's a long-ass alone on every side and people gathering with my mother in the middle of a cul-de-sac with three wannabe gangsters and she told me she cheated She Can Get Gangsta too and she had to go so bring it and I said, so and then my mother think I don't me which was kind of unexpected and she was angry with me cuz I didn't fight back and so that's when I really realize what a different time we were living at and how truly my mother didn't really understand all the battles that I had to endure the ones. I had never to share it with her cuz she came from a time where you can fight back and that was it you already got whipped you were with somebody and then you end up being best friends later on down the years and you traveled the role of Chief like Oprah and Gayle but in the 90s, that was an

23:40 Case you fight and you Prevail that means somebody will come with more people the next time and then eventually tomorrow is going to lose their life and haven't made the decision as I explained to you on living life. I definitely was going to put myself now and then the position to Lose It by somebody else's hand. And so that nothing to happen to her beatings. I have to you know suck something so I can just continue to live for graduation day are the time when I can get away instead of opportunity came in 1993 is when I moved to North Carolina to live in my grandmother and that's a different time frame. Let's get the sixties to go back to the 30s and 40s install is just like being on the time machine just going in reverse rather than to the Future. Well my grandmother you we talked about old school, but she she was when she was in the old school. It was just current new school. So that's how old school she is. And so you don't

24:40 My grandmother came for my are where children were never heard in the house parents who say something and then you would do I was raised by a liberal mother who encourage discussion we made everything by the Evolve adapt to and so, you know, when I try to bring those politics to my grandmother's house, she's shut that down very quickly and I remember one day even though my grandmother accounts to my mid chest. She's looked up at me and she said I'm going to slap your face if you don't go to your room because I decided I wasn't going to go to the Family Church, which is a cell in black families, especially in the Bible about South the church was dead or you were dying. And so I just decided I'm going to go to church where the people are alive and she says well Jesus is everywhere and I said exactly that's why I'm going to serve him over at this church, and she said go to your room now or I'm going to slap your face and I didn't want my grandmother had to pull out of school go through the hassle of getting

25:40 Top on the top step the smack my face. So I had to remove myself from the situation and then I did what I normally do my Poetic Justice moment. I wrote about it in the poem because I was free to say things in the poem or in the guise of a poem that I would never be able to have to Liberation to say to her directly. And so it was that kind of new school old school battle and money things. My grandmother said that was my welcoming statement to North Carolina was that if you're not careful, you're going to get lynched and my retort to with that they still do that. And so I have lots to learn about the politics in this the subtleties of being in the South coming from Los Angeles, which is in California, which is the country of his own. So so that was how the relationship begin to build but I've learned a lot for my grandmother and she still with us today and I think I taught her some things to

26:37 What did you learn from her?

26:40 What I learned that there was more than one way to fight a battle and maybe being so vocal and so abrasive and sold in someone's face may not be the way and I learned about how she fought the Battle so obviously going through the segregation of the racial segregation of being in the South already. She grew up in North Carolina moving to New you are again, then, you know being part of the Reconstruction sound even though she was not a slave having to work and Labour just as hard for a white Jewish Family. There's a lot of parallels to that experience and how she kept her dignity to raise eight children as a single parent living in a New York soda fallacies. She fought how she got her way once and always up front in the right. Sometimes it's very subtle. Sometimes it was just a matter of being patient and waiting for the right opportunity to be able to make a impact and make sure that people are

27:40 Said that she met business she. Is watching that never spend a lady to fight and scream and y'all but she was always respected. So I try to take on some of those qualities too, but I reserve the Angry Black Card at any time when it's time thing necessary and I embraced I don't run away from that label.

28:02 Why not?

28:04 Because I think at times I'm that's the only way that people are aware of whatever they're doing which is inconsiderate or indecent. I know that there's been a lot of

28:17 Criticism of our current President Barack Obama for its lack of showing these qualities and then he was criticized again when he did allow that side of him to flip out on us in reference to the gulf oil disaster when he said he was looking for I come by these and you can fill in the blank to kick as he was thinking every morning about that experience SLO. Sometimes I think it's good to be able to realize that even in this technical dominated world will weed remote through Ikon send LOL to tell you that I'm laughing. Sometimes we need to invoke a real human emotion of people can't connect web that won't be misconstrued and when anger is one of those, you know, angry when you see Angry, there's no Larry any doubts about someone who's angry and decided to find can you tell me about a time you had to break out your angry black man card.

29:17 Yeah, you set a time, which is very generous cuz there's many times were not so much now that I've come into this this age of being a little wiser a little mature are thought on.

29:31 I want to talk to my I can tell you from being a kid in California. I was eating and a famous restaurant known for it's as simple of golden arches and I was very independent at the kids. So I was riding my bike and I had rode my bike to McDonald's up that's looking set the name. I apologize.

29:57 And I parked my bike on the side of the wall try to put it out of the way of the wall plate, but course McDonald's with a drive-thru place. They don't think about the bike sickle customers. So there is no place to lock up a bike and I guess either the winter people walking by somehow the bike fell down and start to block in destructive half then and I'm sitting there enjoying whatever the Mac meal was at that moment and the manager just loudly start screaming and ranting who's packets this whose bike is this somebody needs to move this bike. I don't know why I am yelling and screaming and so I went out and I first correct the situation which was to put the bike upright and in the movie about the way but then I took the additional initiative to go up to the mansion. I called her over to the table. Now, you have to imagine somebody was 13 so I can to someone who's well senior and I said, what is your name? And she said my name is just said you the man she said yes. I said why I just want to

30:57 Give me some feedback about that experience. I said you look around this restaurant and you can probably using your best educated guess who was probably came here on it by Shirley. What's in those old people to know where they are there together. So that would have met they would have two bikes. And so I just broke it broke it down two and a hat sold all of that ranting and raving you that was embarrassing. I said, you just could have simply you should pass gas and come over to tape. Was that young man? Is that your bike and then show me where I can leave the bike. I saw you have not designed the restaurant for bike and customers and so I am very unsatisfied with that experience. And so I can tell that she had never thought about that and really could see in my my passion that I spoke in that I was really convicted by this experience. And so would it lead to was not only a cop mail for the mail that was eating but I'mma coupon book for future meals and she apologized to me. She really realize that she has overstepped and really and trying to be a leader of that franchise. She have felt

31:57 In other ways and so that's one in my mouth and mom is on the other mom is just to protect those there still Lebanon, Tennessee and I won't explain but people are very well-known. My anger is well-known and I only use it when it mean we get to the purpose always try to work you two channels that politeness and subtlety that we put in place which we call rules and laws and probably call the social norms. But now I'm after you got all those things. You just got to bring out the angry card and whipping on the table like you playing the game of spades and and then you never lose that way.

32:33 How do you think your family would describe your personality? My family's confused by me? I believe they only now get to see the different layers of what the world knows about me and I I guess I like that because it keeps them they never can really truly Define me I think in my legacy as we're talking about Legacy that when I do translation that the stories that people will tell about their experience with me will really surprise them. But my family is coming to see understand that I do have a wonderful sense of humor. I love to tell stories what's wrong part of this experience, but I love hearing stories and there's so many different parts of me Beyond just being the librarian of The Quiet One or the smart one or the one who's academic and I kept us we grow together at the family out till it's not that I'm feared them saying that I guess I'll

33:32 Like being able to play a different role when I'm with my family than what I normally reserved for how I feel and interact with the world. How is it different?

33:41 Will definitely I had to be a little more bombastic than I am when I'm at home and I like quiet and Solitude at times and so I don't tend to do a lot of fussing and a lot of Correction in lot of just talking about a lot of things unless we're in some kind of discussion about passions politics education state of black people today, you know Injustice that even families can then have on one another that's when you will see the more lively discussions come out of me, but for the most part, I like to observe and just really enjoy seeing my family as they're interacting with one another because those are the snapshot. Should I keep with me as I'm living by myself in Montgomery and anythin a family gather round. I thought back to those moments. I download them and then I remember those experiences.

34:37 Tomorrow, I wonder if there are any

34:40 If there are any stories from your family's history that you find personally inspiring or uplifting or telling

34:54 I guess you're the one that I can quickly think God would be just as what I mentioned about my grandmother being a single mother and raising a stair step kids and and not living in a mansion but in a project apartment, which didn't have many rooms into I think it's my best memory for all the boys and girls that she had a somehow being able to still survive through that experience to be able to provide such a backbone that many of them are successful today and Peridot to how people struggle but much more access to support networks, but she were children but somehow she made it work and and she did such a wonderful job that the Legacy that I inherit it was that I am successful ask one of her grandchildren and many of the grandchildren are successful to

35:54 I miss is a lady who did complete high school, but you know, not any formal education never, you know, a college degree her degrees for Aunt in different ways and in different areas economics. She can tell you all about how to stretch a dollar to feed 8 children with one income. And so sometimes I think that maybe I should just hire some grandmother stood figure out the debt problems that we are currently facing us a nation.

36:31 And she on as I've stated resides on she will be at least 85 or 86 and is coming here and she was actually born on September 11th. So we celebrate that day and different contacts every year and actually did the the time that September 11th happened was the only day that I can remember that. I didn't call my grandmother early in the morning and and the reason was being fascinated by catching up with all the latest information that was coming out of New York and Pennsylvania and other places on that time on that morning. And so I'm actually have a tragedy then you also have the affirmation that life is still going on. And so I just won the first college that I make on September 11th, just to you know, what your happy birthday and then let her know that I'm thankful and grateful that she still here with us.

37:29 And we have a couple minutes left. I'm curious about you said they were you think you taught your grandmother some lessons during the time you live there. I'm curious about we think those are but there is something else you'd like to spend these last few minutes on us fine-tuning. I think I definitely

37:47 Re-invite read revise my grandmother in a sentence as you get older and you get a little more dust settled on you get a little and age and you get a little distant from the current times, but I've being a young person and being part of current times. I think I introduced some of those things to her. So my grandmother has a cell phone now and she's and she knows her Facebook and she knows a little bit about the technology and every once in awhile, you'll hear her especially with my my younger uncle's use some of the more up-to-date language. What's up? What's up?

38:25 So, you know those kind of things I think she also came to

38:31 Learn how to respect my views as well. You know, I mentioned that she was lying about just being seen and not heard but I think she really opened up herself to actually here and knew that it was important not to just talk all the time and not to just be listen to all the time. But also hear you know what the concerns are and I think it really enriched our ability to laugh and connect with a lot of my cousins to

39:03 And so those are the things that I think she's learned from me and that it's okay to be a little creatures. You know, I always have to be so safe. Take some rest. Well, thank you so much for leaving this record in 04 for Dayton. And for whoever else comes along in the future will thank you for the opportunity.