John Shelton and Hazel Diaz

00:04 My name is John Shelton. I am 48 today's date is April 18th 2019. The location is Pensacola Florida my relationship to Hazel and tried to steal some stuff from her. Yesterday. My name is Hazel Diaz. I'm 33 years old today's day is April 18th 2019. I'm in Pensacola Florida with my new friend John who I would be happy to share my supplies with at any point John since when have 40 minutes. I want to definitely Dive Right In. Where are you from? Where were you born? Where did you grow up in Dallas?

00:47 What was it? Like that was like a kind of a middle-sized city. It's a pretty good-sized. If you can think of it. You can do it in Dallas in the Dallas-Fort Worth area amazing.

01:10 You graduated from there. We went to the same school your whole life know I went to we were kind of poor growing up. So I bounced from school to school to school and actually didn't graduate high school dropping out getting a full-time job. And then later on. That's when I join the military. Why did you leave and get a job by we we needed the money? It was wasn't an enjoyable thing that I had to do it. But you know, it's this way it goes. Where did Jack in the Box for a while? And

01:51 It was tough to find a job back. Then. It was weird. Just coming out of a recession. It was the late 80s and I just coming out of a decent recession and the boom of the 90s hadn't started yet. So I couldn't even find a job for a grocery store. So it was how many people in your family three people my sister's kind of the black sheep of the family now and haven't heard of heard from her in years. And so it's just it was just my mother and I and what is Sue like, she's great. She's a typical Mom. I don't know what something that people usually are surprised to find out about Sue.

02:44 I don't know.

02:53 I don't know. What's your favorite thing about your mom? She's always been there for me, but your sister's name Joanne where she live now.

03:13 90

03:18 798 something like that you miss her. No, not really. Let's go back to growing up for my favorite kid. Really. Actually I hated being for when I was a kid. We all thought about that yesterday, but now it's really meanest. I wanted to visit the lot of gratitude when you're an adult things that people just like

03:51 Don't even think I like you. I'm just like I have like three types of shampoo. So if I want my hair to smell different I can do that. It's like all that little thing but you know, I want my hair to be more moisturize I can like you to bring conditioner. I really do I really do like the fact that I was poor as a kid that has a kid. It was the worst but now I can you grow for what would I like about it? And I was just talking to my youngest daughter about this the other day is theirs. There's just nothing I can't do because growing up I had to do everything you couldn't I couldn't hire somebody to fix my car when it broke down I to do it myself.

04:46 We couldn't hire anybody to fix something in the house. That's something I had to do. And and now I said there's just I plan on designing and building my own house pretty soon and I'm not intimidated by it at all. And I know I can do it. It's not rocket surgery and I can I can rebuild an engine in my car and I just even though I can you know, when something goes wrong. It's probably better that take it someplace, you know is like I've cost-benefit type of thing is probably better just to take it in and let somebody fix it. But if you had to you could you just have one daughter daughter's what are your daughter's name? Chloe and Sydney?

05:29 And how old are they? They are somewhere between the ages of 14 and 25. I'm up getting turned on today is 18 in. My oldest one is 2218 + 22 + 18 + 22.

05:53 And both are about to graduate my youngest is about to graduate high school. And the oldest is about to graduate college and are you anxious about them both being?

06:04 The full-blown adults here shortly. I think we've done a pretty good job of raising them and they're relatively independent. They're both very smart young all parents think their that their kids are are smart, but mine are mine are objectively smart. My oldest is a is graduate with a biology degree in my youngest one is going to become either a nurse or or a doctor some and she's going to a magnet high school.

06:44 How old are you and your

06:46 All the star is born.

06:49 I was 25 I think of you.

06:55 Oh, so you're lucky young.

06:58 I guess yeah why no action. I'm sorry. I was my youngest my oldest. I was 25. So my youngest I was praying for that.

07:14 What do you think has been the best part of fatherhood?

07:17 Watching them grow up just and luckily. I have kids that that are okay with with listening to me. So, you know, I try to teach him everything possible.

07:31 And that that's just been very satisfying hardest part of your journey as a parent has been

07:45 The hardest part is been being the disciplinarian, you know, nobody wants to do that. But you know, it's you got to otherwise going to be spoiled rotten kids. So

08:01 Doing a mud that serious disservice if you if you're not.

08:06 Somewhat discipline

08:09 What was your first memory of?

08:14 Chloe zero, this is your first memory of Chloe.

08:19 Her being born. I was lucky enough to be able to be there. I was just she was born in between one of my deployment Cycles. So I was actually at home at the time and

08:32 So yeah, it was a pretty cool. You know, whether I was I was in there to the delivery room and

08:43 What struck you about seeing her for the first time?

08:47 What a mess and messy business. I'm at the confirmation moment or whatever, but it was nothing like that was like, Texas Chainsaw Massacre pretty I mean she is a gorgeous girl now, but yeah, she's

09:16 When babies are first born and that's not the most beautiful thing in the world is was there any big difference between when Chloe was born in what city was born? Did you handle it better the second time around? Oh, yeah. Well, I handle it fine. It was it wasn't, you know, traumatic or stressful or anything like that for me. I had died too easy job. I just had to sit there and watch.

09:40 But when Cindy was born, you know, we weren't, you know, boiling everything and disinfecting everything inside. You know, we kind of calm down a little bit and everything was good.

09:52 Do you think that your wife feel the same way about the birthing process Heather? Where did you meet Heather met her this is kind of a long story. I met her.

10:14 When before I was going on deployment, I'd met my best friend in the Navy about a year-and-a-half prior to that and the whole time we were there and that we're stationed together. He wanted to set me up with her, but she had a boyfriend the whole time.

10:32 And I was trying to set you up for the girl with had a boyfriend what he wasn't trying to eat. He wanted to cuz he didn't like her boyfriend, but you know how but he never had the opportunity since you had a boyfriend the whole time.

10:46 And so it was the night before we're going out on deployment and I was going to leave the Navy during that deployment. I was going to make the whole six months. And so how can I go back to Texas? And he said why won't you come over for a beer tonight and meet the girl that always wanted to hook and set you up with?

11:09 As I was like, okay and I did and yeah, she was good-looking. She was funny. She was nice, but of course your boyfriend was there and you know, so I was like, well, we just drank beer until we went to the ship and I completely forgot about her went on three more months of that deployment. Got out of the Navy went home.

11:35 I was on my own going to school at during the day working at night in a factory and I got this this letter from some some chick named Heather in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on psych who is this person and I opened the letter and I finally figured out she mentioned her sister and then and my best friend.

12:05 And so yeah, and then I was like, oh that person so we started writing back and forth. And how did she find you? I'm sorry. It's his his his wife is her sister disagree. But okay, but we we started corresponding back and forth and then fell in love while we're riding and and sending letters. This is 92 so it before the internet, you know, so we weren't emailing or anything like that.

12:49 And then I decided to move to Ohio to be with her to listen to live with her and I was in it.

13:03 Okay, do your daughters know that story? And how long did you guys correspond by letter before you move to, Ohio?

13:12 I may be a year will overhear something like that end in during that time. She came down and visited me. I went up and visited her a couple times twice. Yeah, something like that. You spent 26 years in the Navy but you said that you got out of the Navy Duty in the Navy for two years before that. I was in the Army Reserves. That's a whole other. Okay, then the Army for 2 years and then you were in the Navy for a little bit and then went back to the Navy. How do you think you are? You're always drawn back to the military? Oh, yeah. It's the military's lot of fun. It's yeah, it's it's great. What did you go from the Army to the Navy to see the world?

14:11 Do you want to do that in the Army the Army National Guard and for a while I was in a reserve unit, but

14:22 But yeah, I would say it was y'all just doing the normal civilian thing and then I would I would do two weeks in the summer and one weekend a month for the for the Army Reserves or National Guard which unit I was in at that time and I had the option of either going active in the army or going to a different branch. And in the Army, if you get sent overseas, you'll be you'll be stationed in one place for very long time. Like no Germany or Korea or whatever which wood is pretty cool. But you don't really see the world in the same way that the Navy would in the Navy you get stationed on board a ship or in a squadron or some like that in you and you go out on deployment.

15:06 And this was at least true before 9/11, you know, you spend two weeks out to see it and you pull into a port spend a few days there go back out to sea for two or three weeks pull back into another report 2 weeks to 3 weeks another Port after all one after another after another and that's what makes the the Navy so worthwhile. If you want to see the world relationship with Heather was pretty stressful and there was a lot of times that it did was incredibly stressful but you know, we made it through while I was out what kind of advice would you give someone that was joining the Navy today about their marriage and the kind of stress that the military puts on it. How long have you been married?

15:56 Good morning.

16:01 Warriors, okay 25

16:09 I would I know it's just so different for everybody.

16:15 Somebody joined like a married couple to ship for you have a lot of touch and go and a lot of traveling lot of time apart and a lot of you know a lot of stressors.

16:39 You just better have faith in your in your relationship with your spouse swimming cuz it's it will be put under stress and

16:52 I know it's just so hard. It's like every person is unique and how they handle stress and what would be good for one person would be terrible for another but what helps your your relationship?

17:09 I'm not trying one of the big things that a lot of people do that a lot of males do when they come back up home from deployment. If they just try and take over everything again from their their spouse. You know, what while you've been gone for six months. She's been mowing the lawn. She's been paying the bills. She's been taking care of the kids. She's got everything set up her way.

17:32 And then the guy comes home and and he's like, okay, I'm taking over the bills and I'm doing this and we're not going to do this anymore. We're going to do that and it's just a big recipe for disaster. So the entire time I was in the the Navy I never touched the bill. I just pretty much his hand over my paycheck and you take care of the bills and when I came home, I didn't try and change schedules. I didn't try and decide you know, what we weren't going to do. I just kept it her show.

18:12 And seem to work.

18:15 So fall in line is basically.

18:25 And I think there's there's often a

18:31 A masculine expectation now. I know I'm kind of

18:42 Roll that

18:45 The betta male in a relationship like that is is expected.

18:52 Culturally to fulfill and the military

18:58 It attracts males like that anyway, so it doesn't help the situation and a lot of males in the military think that they're not doing their masculine role if they're not, you know taking charge whenever they they come home, but I was never

19:19 I was never married to that masculine ideal when I was in. What do you think? What do you think you've never really been committed to hyper-masculinity even though your lifelong career military?

19:36 I was little skinny kid and I was picked on when I was young and then on top of that I was raised by my mom. So I didn't for a large portion of my life. I didn't have a masculine role model.

19:51 So it was that I didn't I wasn't I wasn't indoctrinated into that kind of Ideal as much as other people. Are you got married you had two daughters, which I wanted I didn't do because of the same thing I was talking about. I didn't want boys. I didn't feel confident raising boys difficult relationships with males now.

20:13 Not really surrounded by like a lot of really strong relationships with

20:27 Okay.

20:31 What was your mother's reaction when you told her you were going into the Army Reserve with your first kind of hard to remember cuz I died to get her permission. I was only seventeen when I joined the Army Reserve at the time I do if they still have it now, they had this program called split option where in between your Junior and Senior year of high school. You can go to Army basic training and then come back finish school and then go back for more training after the summer you graduate.

21:08 So there was this and I didn't even know before that happened. I had no plans whatsoever to join the military and I didn't even enter my mind, but there was this girl that I wanted to try to impress and I was talking to her one day at lunch and she said hey I'm going to do this Army thing this summer. Do you want to you want to do it too? And I thought you was talking about, you know, like ROTC or something like that and I was just trying to be nice and you know getting ready to go out on a date with me and and I was like, yeah sure. That sounds great. And she said to call you and and nothing ever happened with her, but she got she got a promotion out of yours. She could have started as an ETA to you and she could have and then like one day like two or three weeks later Sergeant Sergeant Dillard he call.

22:08 Me up and he said so I hear you want to join the Army this summer and I was like dude. I just I'm not interested in ROTC. I don't want to do that kind of stuff. No, thanks. And he said no no. No, this is the real army. And then we were talking this time. You're going to pay me to go shoot guns and throwing grenades all summer and he's like, yeah.

22:43 Was it a fun summer Fort Bliss El Paso, which they don't have basic training there anymore. And I was just and I probably looked like I was 15. I was I was 17. I was the youngest kid there. There was nobody else there that was on the split option program. These are all guys who are either going to go field artillery or I mean, they're going to go Air Defense Artillery or they're going to go medics.

23:14 I was like the only guy who's doing my job.

23:18 And and I the average rate I I mean we would get me to get march to death and then we get back your push-ups all the time and I was just like grinning the whole time because I was treated like a grown-up and I was getting paid and of having fun and I felt important for the first first time ever and it has so much fun. I loved loved every minute of it. Are you intimidated? They're not by the other soldiers. I was intimidated by the drill sergeants definitely but they just like they just they just had fun messing with me and I I just took it to know is just okay drill sergeant do push-ups and whatever.

24:07 So I'm trying to kind of pieces together. This is a senior Junior and Senior year that you went to the stamp. Right? And then you said that you didn't finish school. Yeah, I went back to high school and didn't finish wound up having to drop out. They still join the Army. I was still in school to go to work. Yes, but this is still just the the Army Reserves. Okay, when everybody else at the end of basic training that summer went on out of there their training like how to be how to be a medic how to be an Air Defense Artillery men. I went back home and back to the school and then finish it.

24:58 And then that summer I went back to do some more training school for your family.

25:12 So you're going to college now. I'm in between my bachelor's and Master's and you have already finished one career. You're ready to jump into the next here. It seems like what were some of your life specifically that was shocking to even you about the way your life panned out now that you're done with your life. Not that we're having a 99 but I don't worry about my money left over at the end of the month. My kids are great. It's just been like I've got a great job that I enjoy.

25:57 Where I can do kind of what I want in in our Public Library I get to planet ability and yeah, my boss gives me a really long leash and what I want to do, so I guess we're going to copy y'all storycorps type of thing down here in Pensacola. That's one of my projects. I'm working on that sounds fun. Yeah. I've got just been building shelves over in the the at downtown library that we have here so I could teach my hands I get to get out of the office.

26:31 And then next year, I'm going to start My Librarian degree, which is you know, when I was a little kid, I wanted to be a librarian would like to read always always always always always win when I was when I go on deployment before the days of e-readers in the Navy you have what's called a coffin rack

26:53 And it's and it's where you keep all of your stuff and you just need his kind of lift up your the top of your bed and you got these different compartments in there when I will go on deployment half of my my cough and Rec was full of books that I would take on the phone with me to jury the whole time cuz you know, this is before an Amazon would you know ship out to two deployments? I'd send an e-reader obviously, but yeah, what do you think? It's your love and interest of books and reading I've no idea. I can't remember not loving reading. You know, when I was in elementary school, I would always volunteer after school at the in the library. We had their one of the greatest days, you know that we have that we would have during the day of school year was riffed day, you know when when we had read a whole bunch of books done book.

27:53 Sports and then we can they would we will get to go to the library and there was on his disease tables of Riff books. And if you read so many books, you can get one book. If you read this many more you can get to books. And did you also sprach a love of reading in your daughter's kind of worked very hard to but my my youngest daughter. She doesn't enjoy reading as much as I do.

28:29 But she's still in really smart. She picks up everything. She's very talented. She's doing well in school. My oldest daughter reads quite a bit and she's doing great in school. So, you know, it's I don't know.

28:47 Having a love for reading that I thought would be a prerequisite for doing well in school and being smart, but

28:55 That's that's it's worked out really well for my youngest daughter. Okay, that's great. What do you look? What are you looking forward to now? You said you were looking to build your own home design and build your own house. And since I'm really into carpentry, it's going to be a really feel like phenomenally well-built house. It's not going to like we live in a tract home. And so it's it's it's built quickly with not much care. It's still a decent house, but it's just not not what I would build so I'm going to build it like with perfectly straight walls and everything tied together really well to withstand hurricanes. And cuz we are in Pensacola, so

29:49 And I'm also looking forward to getting My Librarian degree. So what do you plan to do that while you're you're very young. I'm three kind of going into your second career. I feel like I'm kind of old to be there.

30:11 You know, it's not even 2:50 yet. No, but you know what? I'm also it's it's taking me a while to get going on my Master's Degree because it's not cheap to do and

30:25 There's been like a cost-benefit analysis. I've been bouncing around in my head because librarianship doesn't pay very well anyway, and I'm only going to have maybe 15 to 20 years to get that to pay back.

30:42 So I just I just wasn't sure if it would be worth it, but I kind of figured out that you know.

30:48 When I die, I don't want to regret not getting it and if I if I get my librarian degree, and I don't necessarily use it for a librarian position and I'm only out maybe $20,000 happiness. Yeah. Yeah not having one of those regrets on my list, you know when I do finally.

31:17 Check off this Mortal coil or whatever. Do you have any regrets?

31:24 I used to have more regrets but you know, it's

31:31 I don't think so. I mean I I

31:34 I don't have any major regrets there. There's always the little things that I wish I'd done differently and but you know, like I said right now I'm pretty happy. What are some things that you thought you would regret it, but now you realize that it was kind of hope for the best. I regret not not knowing or not trusting that I could be a better leader earlier in my military career. I think I could have gone even further really far considering my Beginnings retired from the Navy as a Senior Chief which is an e-9, which is pretty darn successful and I'm really proud of it. But if I'd only had a little bit of, and in my leadership capabilities earlier, I could have gone further.

32:28 And but you know

32:31 I'm kind of you know.

32:33 Complaining about food falling out of my fridge, you know, it's it's it's a good thing if you open your refrigerator door food falls out, so I can't really complain too much about how far away

32:46 Do you think that your wife has had?

32:53 Agate I'm physically cannot fit with you during this long time. Was she looking forward to you not being in the military anymore not have to shoulder everything on her own. Yeah, what was the transition like for you to finish, you know kind of this regimented. I'm time in service and then kind of being off on your own after retirement. It wasn't too bad, you know, a lot of people who spend a lot of time in the military, they're not able to let it go but I was I was pretty good at letting it go, you know when I got out and then before I actually got out, you know, I had determined I was not going to be one of those guys who just

33:40 Who just can't let go of his past and and doesn't want to move on and clings to what he used to be.

33:51 So yeah, I was I was able to rule I was able to let that go really quickly and I think that might have something to do also with

34:00 With my

34:03 Lack of being locked into that that then hyper-masculine kind of thing. You know. I have my work in an office right now. I most of my time is done is done pushing papers and typing on a computer screen.

34:20 I'm okay with that, you know back in the the Navy I was in aircrewman. I was riding in the back of an airplane operating a radar after that. I was I was a hovercraft driver before as an aircrewman. I worked on the flight deck of aircraft carriers before that. I was a huey crew chief.

34:42 So I did some really really exciting stuff.

34:49 So I think I got kind of satisfied with it and I was able to put it behind me afterwards. How do you think your time in the military has affected you as a person?

35:02 It's it's it's it. It's really made me what I am what kind of cells are characteristic I'm a baby.

35:19 How do I say this without sounding like a jerk? I'm a very good leader. And that's something you don't see as much in the civilian world. You see a good manager a lot of good managers, but you don't see a lot of good leaders and there's

35:37 In the Navy we make that differentiation. One of the biggest insults you can do is tell somebody that they're really good manager is by implication you're saying that they're not a good leader.

35:53 But

35:55 But yeah, that's that's not my my work ethic. I've got to work ethic. That's probably better than most the most people I deal with.

36:05 And I'm done the military has made me that way. They are there. Any m?

36:11 Funny quirky things about you now that you're in the service that you took away from your time in the Navy things that you say or do that people that aren't in the Navy don't understand can be kind of course, but I try to temper that quite a bit.

36:32 And I'm really not afraid to speak my mind. I'm still polite but I you know.

36:41 Okay.

36:44 Is there anything that you want to discuss with the last few minutes that we have?

36:50 No, not really. I was I'm good. I'm sorry. You like to be remembered?

37:02 I don't care. How would you like your daughters to remember you were a hundred years? You know, how do you hope that your grandchildren or your great-grandchildren will kind of for call you in this moment?

37:21 I never really thought of that.

37:27 There's a saying that that that I like to use, you know, I don't have low self-esteem. I have no self-esteem and did so because of that I kind of don't really think of that. You know, I'm I know that at best somebody might remember my name to Generations away and after that it'll be like I never existed so and I'm okay with that. It doesn't bother me. I don't feel like to

37:55 Make my mark on anything or whatever. So I want to thank you for this time and for being willing to let me interview you thank you for drawing me on something that you were here. But thank you for forgiving me some Grayson coming into to share this this time in the space of me today. I really enjoyed it. I didn't think I was going to do it but I did.

38:30 Okay. Thank you.