Judy Hultquist and Lyndsey Adamson

00:05 My name is Lindsay Adamson. I'm 16 years old today's date is September 26th of 2010. We are in Kansas City, Missouri, and I'm here with my grandmother.

00:16 My name is Judy hultquist. I'm 65. Don't look it September 26th 2010 in Kansas City, Missouri, and I'm here with my granddaughter.

00:31 KO, let's see who has been the most important person in your life.

00:37 There's been several.

00:39 A teacher when I was in college doctor hate

00:45 My first boss

00:48 Probably most of all my mother.

00:51 Can you tell me about your mother? Oh, my mom is still alive. She is. I can't hear. Well, I can't see well, but I'm still here.

01:09 And she was the

01:13 Single constant in my life. My dad had a lot of problems.

01:18 I'm probably really was a manic depressive and he was an alcoholic but my mom was always there and she always had the encouraging words. She always fucked me up when I was low. We enjoyed music. We used to sing in the car.

01:35 Archie has a beautiful voice. I have a horrible one, but she didn't care.

01:39 And when I told her that I was pregnant with your dad. She couldn't have been happier.

01:47 What was the happiest moment in your life birth of my children? What was the saddest?

01:56 That might when my father died, he really didn't achieve any of his potential.

02:03 We could have been so great.

02:05 Why didn't he achieve his potential? I think it's a mental part of it and was an alcoholic. He just couldn't stay away from drinking.

02:16 And he didn't believe in himself.

02:19 He never I don't think he ever thought he was as good as he was.

02:25 But he was a Salesman he could walk into a room and charm everybody. He could sell a three piece suit to a Deadman.

02:37 Has been the biggest influence on you and you like him.

02:43 My husband

02:45 Well under Grandpa did that teach you.

02:49 He's taught me to believe in myself. I'm a lot like my dad. I sometimes didn't think I had the potential I did.

02:57 And he's really helped me to do that too. When he was with me through the cancer and everything and he's been he's been my constant 2.

03:08 The one that keeps me going.

03:11 And I just a little Jack wake up Beauty, you know act like a grown-up woman, but mostly it's just being there.

03:20 When you first found out you had cancer. How did that make you feel morning? Why me and I told my sister and she said Judy we're good people. Why is this happening to us?

03:35 And

03:37 I had to learn to live with it. I cried a lot at the very beginning and then I said this is ridiculous. You are a grown up woman you're dealing with it.

03:46 I missed for work 3 hours during the whole thing.

03:53 But I just started my first chemo treatment. I just I hit the wall and couldn't get back up and Tim had to get off work and pick me up take me home, but that was the only time.

04:07 Etsy

04:12 What's your earliest memory?

04:16 Probably there's two one. I was a very late Walker.

04:23 I had that I didn't want anybody to see me. I was walking I was I would hold my mother could hear me holding onto the wall coming down as soon as I got to the kitchen, I would plop down and crawl.

04:34 And when my sister was after she was born I decided to talcum powder the rug in front of her crib.

04:44 So I got the talcum powder thing and I just spread it all over.

04:50 My mother was not happy.

04:57 Do you have any regrets in your lifetime?

05:00 I wish I'd gone and got my Master's in college.

05:05 That I didn't have to stop and work and all that.

05:11 Other than that, I've got two great kids didn't your dad took a while but you know neither kids been into drugs or not. They don't drink too much. They've made careers they

05:29 And maybe proud

05:32 Kauai

05:34 Like it's my granddaughter and you're my favorite granddaughter.

05:39 And we're only granddaughter girl. You're still my favorite who has been the kind of steering your life.

05:48 My sister

05:50 She again is constant, but she she is always there for me to get her on the phone. I don't like that but when I need her and when I had told her about the diagnosis and I called her at work and I just told her boss. I said I really need to talk right now and he was really good about that. Put her on the phone and went on from there.

06:22 She's my booster my cheerleader my

06:26 You know, we're really close as sisters. We weren't always but we are now.

06:32 When did what is your favorite memory of me?

06:37 Well, it was a scary one.

06:40 And then there's a funny one, but I'll tell the scary one first. We were coming out of the Half Price Store.

06:46 And you decided you wanted to run to the car?

06:50 And I grabbed you just before you got hit.

06:55 And I had this thing about hands holding hands.

06:59 And I yelled and grabbed you by the back if it's to pull you back.

07:06 And after that it was Lindsey.

07:10 I want your hand and you would grab my hand before I grab.

07:14 The other one was you were around 2 and I have things out I never put my things up.

07:21 And you knew you weren't supposed to touch him and you're over there by the end of the couch and you're going like this and I think Lindsay, you know, you're not supposed to touch gramos. Thanks and your hands just creeping and eventually course you touch it.

07:35 And I grabbed you and I said not timeout you touch Grandma sing. So I took you into Shannon's room put you on the bed.

07:44 Crying crying crying

07:46 Kobe 10 minutes course, it was about 1 when I said now are you going to touch anymore?

07:56 Eden

07:59 And another time you were I was taking care of you and Shay were maybe seven or eight and he was jumping off the stairs and you told him to stop and you said, you know, there are rules in grandma's house.

08:16 Oh my God, you stopped in from jumping.

08:22 If you could hold onto one memory from your life for eternity, what would that be?

08:30 It's really too but the birth of Sean when it was I was so worried about him and I the doctor said to the pediatrician it was there for him cuz he was born in an operating room. They were going to do a cesarean and

08:47 The doctor said she seen him yet and the pediatrician goes she's been taking her eyes off him.

08:57 And then with your aunt when she was born, and I was just you she was overdue.

09:06 And we got to the hospital at 12:15. She was born at 10 to 1 not 10 to 1 in the morning 10 to 1 after 12:15.

09:17 And she was just just very quiet and cry like a lot of babies doing except she wanted to suck on the blanket the other edging and she move her head and she lose it and then she move her head back and she could suck on it, but she crying.

09:40 And what's your favorite is memory about my dad and Aunt Shannon?

09:47 Your dad was about I think three.

09:52 And he was he had a four year old friend in a 5 year old friend and he where we lived he could Ram around outside. It was real quiet street and all the drivers there if they were on the street were real careful cuz we have those a lot of little kids.

10:07 And it was really nice day and he comes charging down the stairs Rams into the house.

10:15 Grabs me around the legs hugs.

10:19 And goes I love you. Mom goes back up.

10:26 And Shannon because as you know, I'm a klutz and so Shannon. So are you and she are housed it when they had carpet.

10:39 She comes down the stairs. She sort of trips down the stairs in her bedroom.

10:44 Chico's straps adored Mrs. It grabs it again trips over to get out onto the deck gets out there. She forgot something comes back into the house trips back in.

10:59 Misses a step going up somewhere bedroom.

11:03 And I just standing there watching it all this is all going on and try not to laugh out loud.

11:09 She went out and went to play and that's the end of that but

11:16 What was my dad like when he was a kid?

11:22 He was the neighborhood reporter. I never had to worry about anybody telling me gossip. He told me first.

11:30 He knew everything that was going on. This did not serve him well in first grade.

11:37 Because he wanted to know what was going on in every section of the room.

11:42 His first grade teacher and she told us my nickname is mrs. Iron fence. Cuz I don't I'm taking children and turning them into students Sean was a real trial of her. She moved him by her desk. She moved him right to decide. She put him out in the hall. She could see just he had that just couldn't concentrate took him a long time to learn that I see that

12:12 I still like that sometimes. Yeah, and what are you proudest of in your life?

12:20 I've lived a good life. I'm relatively happy. I have my unhappy times but and you know about my boss so, you know.

12:32 I've had a really good life so far.

12:35 And if it's like the genes in my family, I've got a quite a few years to go. I'll be able to dance at your wedding and maybe see your first child graduate from high school or college. I'm planning ahead. Do you know mental stories? I do ya so don't wait too long to get married.

12:53 Since your aunt doesn't seem to have any inkling but

13:06 How did it how did you feel whenever you move from, California to Kansas?

13:11 Well, I was doing it for love.

13:14 Who moves from San Francisco to Kansas, you know?

13:19 But I moved I had a really great job at a really great boss. Tony was a wonderful boss and I learned a lot and I was in charge of a lot. So that was a good career move for me.

13:32 But I still missed I joke. I tell people you know, I'm a Californian. I just happen to live in, Kansas.

13:41 But I love the lake. I love where we are in love my mother-in-law and you know, it's a good life for us. Then can't think of too many other places except maybe Lawrence that I'd like to live in, Kansas.

13:57 Very Kansas is a very interesting State. I guess, you know when I went on that with KU on the week state tour, I was in Kansas has a hundred and five counties. We travel through and stopped in 58 of them.

14:16 So I saw a lot of really good people and interesting scenery.

14:21 Great experience to be with the basically professors with there were few. Admin people like me and other professionals and turns outfit and I didn't even put it together. I was our leader was her name is Margie, and she talks a lot about Bob.

14:42 I knew her last name was Frederick was Bob at the end of the trip, and she said we can dry basketball coach and you know, he's come over to the house and I couldn't get them to stop talking about basketball.

14:59 He was the eighth did KU before will to two back from the you know, the one that just left. I tell my husband he just thought he just rolled his eyes.

15:19 How to make you feel my dad was on the swim team

15:23 By the lake

15:25 I love them going to the lake meets when when he was benched in your aunt, you know we go different places.

15:35 A lot of people are the kids of course the swim team Fosters. It don't like swimming in the lake dirty.

15:45 And they Foster the idea that there's fish that bite you.

15:55 But then we go to the funeral in or we'd have different people cuz I was usually a timer and one from each team so we have this.

16:04 Lady from Lake Quivira while she lived there, but she gotten divorced and her biggest problem was what color of yellow to paint her new house.

16:15 So and I had to I would have to make arrangements at work because we were a job that was on call. So I'd have my pager on and I just want to have a pager, brain surgeon. I'm waiting for it to go into surgery.

16:34 One lady actually, believe me.

16:38 Did my dad ever try to run away? Oh, yeah, that's the funniest story about that.

16:50 Well, I don't remember exactly what he was so mad about and he was just mad about something and he was going to go something. He really wants.

17:03 And I asked him where he was going and he was going to Grandma Sally's she's going to let you live with her.

17:18 Selfie on another time when I sent all pack your suitcase for you if you want.

17:23 Toothbrush and toothpaste that you might want to brush your teeth when you run away.

17:29 Change your underwear.

17:34 How has your life been different than what you'd imagined?

17:39 Well

17:41 I certainly didn't plan to be pregnant either. I plan to have babies, but I didn't plan to be pregnant with your dad or was Shannon.

17:51 Your dad was a failure of the IUD.

17:58 He was getting married to his father and we have it all planned out and everything and

18:05 Well

18:07 Yeah, we were living together. We already had the house and everything.

18:16 As soon as Godfather said he came out holding it.

18:21 Which really wasn't true. They removed it. It's if I dock my obstetrician offer to remove it at the time said it would cause a spontaneous abortion and that's why today I tell people.

18:35 Yeah, I have I made a choice. I'm pro-choice.

18:40 It's being pro-life. It's pro-choice you make your own choice, but I chose to have it when I chose to get married pregnant.

18:49 And to have him you know 5 months later.

18:53 And was Shannon I wanted him wanted Sean to be 4 years old.

19:00 And so we were practicing birth control.

19:04 I couldn't be on the pill cuz I had migraines how you didn't work. So we were the old fashioned Rhythm method, I guess is what the Catholics caught.

19:15 And it was I can't possibly get pregnant on the 8th day of my cycle. Can I just stopped? I won't get pregnant 9 months later. I had my pruvit. Yes, you can't oh my gosh, but I wouldn't trade either child in.

19:32 Glad I got pregnant when I did.

19:35 What are your beliefs on abortion?

19:39 Well, I think I just said I'm pro-choice I think and I told this to somebody one time she said what if she gets pregnant, she's like you're right.

19:51 And she wasn't active or anything, but no.

19:57 Turbo D. She makes a choice. I'll be there.

20:01 To hold her hand during the abortion procedure or I'll be there to hold her hand when the baby's born either way, but she will make the choice. I will not make it for her.

20:14 What are you depressed? What are your hopes and dreams for what the future holds for me or for my children if I have any?

20:25 China political since we keep the Republicans out.

20:32 I want it, you know a good life and not for you not to worry about having your medical insurance that you will have it no matter what your condition is. You can have a child born with Cerebral Palsy or a heart condition. It was one little baby. It was born was born with a hole in his heart.

20:56 And the insurance company, I think it was at and I was refusing to cover it because it was a pre-existing condition. It was cap and while he was in utero.

21:09 That just I don't want you to have to worry about that. That would be my Prime thing. I don't want you to have to worry about the air that you breathe the water you drink the road you drive on where you get your energy source. What kind of carbon footprint do you make?

21:28 And what sucks more than turning off the lights. It's dependent not having dependents on oil.

21:34 I could fly like Brookside I lived here and everything's in walking distance you go to can go to the grocery store couple times a week if you can carry it or you just go every day like they do in Europe shop for the day.

21:48 And they don't have you always have. I hope you have pets is there a great part of your life? I hope your children go to college. I hope you help your sisters. Go to college if they want to or maybe they want to go to a technical school. Maybe they want to be a hairdresser.

22:09 Some good ones around let me tell you.

22:12 But you can help them do that because you'll go to college and go on.

22:17 Got a long road ahead of you, but you're going to be very good and very successful.

22:24 I know that I believe in you.

22:30 See

22:33 Add a question in my head, but I can't right now. It'll come back. Just don't call me at 3 in the morning.

22:40 How was like whenever you marry Grandpa like that his family, except you. Oh, yeah, I was I was more nervous about it than they were the first time I met

22:55 Grandma Sally

22:57 And Larry and the end the woman he was married to that. It wasn't Gina. We went up to he lived here on Fair Oaks same house. And so we have to meet the family cuz you know Sally was in town. Oh, yeah, he told his whole family. He was the we were getting married before I even and I asked him to marry me. That's another story boat. So we get up there and we're driving or pretty close and goes with your nervous. And I said, yeah.

23:29 Luckily, it's just wasn't planned. But the only person in the house at the time was grandma Sally, so I got to meet her and then I got to meet Larry and his wife and we have a different night. Tim would never talked much about his dad.

23:49 But I got Larry talking about it and we must have been in the kitchen talking for 2 hours. Just leaning against the kitchen counter and he was telling me stories and I was I was listening and asking questions because I really didn't have a sense of what iulius was like, what was he like, he was a very very smart man a very caring man.

24:11 He directed. He was the music director at in Garden City for the grammar school the high school and Junior College.

24:21 And he used to bring a stars in real magnitude of the time offer Stars. You won't know the name that Robert Merrill.

24:31 And there's a picture of your grandpa zipping off Reese's Steven stress. So I can't remember his name right now, but he's famous for singing Old Man River. He did it with Showboat. They did it in the movie Showboat and he didn't like singing anymore because everybody asked for it, but your grandpa was about eight or nine in the asked him to sing it and he did it to special favor and he said I'm singing this for Tim hallquist announced it and everything. She asked me to sing it tonight.

25:07 And use there's a picture of Julius. He's very handsome. I can see why Grandma cell fell in love with a very handsome man. And she was a beautiful woman as young woman.

25:17 Katherine was knock out her sister, but she was really glad to have a beautiful woman.

25:26 Play mat inquire is Bethany College. How come grandma wants me to go there so bad like because she had a wonderful time there. It was a great experience great general education and she became a teacher and yeah, it's just she would love to have you graduate to yeah.

25:50 But I told her that's not possible at this is a Jayhawk.

25:55 Now that I think there is a terrible Suites in and you can be a terrible sweet if you want to but and you can root for the Bethany team, but you were going to be a Jedi.

26:08 And get your grandma tickets to the basketball games.

26:13 So Grandpa lived in California to to save with Valerian and

26:27 They traded off cooking that's where he learned to cook cuz he would do when it was his night to cook was tamales from a can.

26:36 Love life and Beanie Weenies or something, you know, I mean this weekend and now he is well, you know, what a Great Cookie is and he got a cookbook Doubleday cookbook still his Bible. Please had to replace it. I think we're going to have to get a new one again because he uses it so much The Binding crack that's where his recipe for ribs comes from.

27:02 And they're good really are.

27:04 So Aunt Jane and Uncle Larry got married after you and Grandpa.

27:10 I think we're going 31 years there. Probably 2000 maybe 20 Monday might be close to twenty-five by now. So she has really been in the family that long. I guess. I haven't either but

27:26 That's true, but we accepted you from the beginning.

27:31 Well know your that was you wouldn't remember cuz you were a baby, but Carl did not accept you. Yeah, I heard so.

27:41 We have Christmas at our house.

27:45 And that was the only one and that you wanted soon as he got to know you. I mean you crawled up into his lap just like Taylor did so

27:55 Yep.

27:57 How was like Aunt Gina?

27:59 Before when like they first got married like she's just like she is now I am so I'm very glad when we had these big party at her 95th. We just I just turned it over to her. What do you want me to do now? You are my boss. I am your slave zactly want me to do it. I mean we share everything.

28:28 What was your first thoughts when you found out I was boxing. I might have wanted to say I told you so.

28:45 Mess up. Your pretty face boxing is a guy's thing and I don't even really like boxing guys know there are women boxing in the Olympics grandma.

29:01 Call there didn't used to be not when Cassius Clay and became Muhammad Ali but when Cassius Clay 1960 Olympic, thank you. Do you want to do something else to point out how much older that how old I am? And yes, you know, I horse and buggy was already invented by the time a child.

29:27 How old are you when you first got married?

29:32 When I married your dad's father, I was 27th.

29:40 I had your dad was born right before my 28th birthday.

29:44 What was my dad's dad? Like he doesn't like to talk about him.

29:48 Well

29:50 Do you know how he died? Nope, my dad won't talk about him. Well, he committed suicide.

29:57 That's why I'm so you know that for me but not, you know until your dad feels free to tell you when the police came to the house. We had been gone from California for about 5 months. He is gone through all the money we got from the sale of the house. First house and about money out of everything.

30:22 It is just a sad man suicides are like this. They turn themselves in. Yeah, they don't realize what they're doing to their children to everybody and we didn't tell the kids until well, your dad was senior in high school. I took him out to lunch so that he couldn't over-react. He almost left the restaurant.

30:46 But when they were little we just said he was very sick what she wants. And first thing your dad asked us. Could he have his TV?

30:58 That was his reaction.

31:00 Your aunt was young enough. They are at Tim was her dad. You know, they were very close and so it wasn't as hard on her and when I told her she said

31:14 She was in high school to she said yeah, I figured it had to be something like that.

31:20 But your dad was very close and yeah try so hard to please him and he was of an age where kids blame themselves for the divorce my fault. I've been a better kid. Yeah, they wouldn't have yelled about me cuz we have different parenting techniques. I wasn't a spanker or anyting although your dad got a few swats.

31:45 What is a diaper box? You know how hard how much can you hurt otherwise would just be like that has fingers very effective when you just go to the Army jokes or a pinch under here when we were out and he was misbehaving just a pinch. You know, I know it hurts and they stop. When he was real little he bit me.

32:14 And I stopped at I've been in back.

32:18 I asked I did not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to hurt. He never bit anybody again.

32:26 To lie. He bit me well.

32:30 As a child in kindergarten

32:34 Hope there's another memory when he was he didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to leave, you know, where you're at your aunt and me and he didn't want to go to school. So we get out of the car and I'm dragging him one hand on the stroller and then dragging him and then he gets close to the school. He sees other kids.

32:54 He went barreling up there didn't even turn around and wave goodbye and here I am crying my first.

33:02 Didn't even do anything.

33:06 I said okay Shannon's you and me right now, and we went back home.

33:11 Did him and grandpa will get along when they have a lot of battles. Did they have it? Like they say they do now.

33:23 So it was more physical.

33:26 When he was younger now he had

33:31 I was never big on making him clean his room. I figured if they close the door. I didn't care same as Shannon she was she was a mess of holic.

33:39 Grand your granddad wanted the rooms clean. He just couldn't stand it. That's why that's cuz he was in the Navy and but and I let them play just about any kind of music until we heard this one and I can't remember was I was a horrible heavy metal record. He was talking about singing about killing his girlfriend and burying her in the backyard in little pieces.

34:09 That was at that CD went immediately out.

34:16 And I went dislike and the time when he had he moved back twice after I moved out this was the second time. He was upstairs and I went upstairs I was on call so I had was actually taking a problem and working on and I was situation managers what they called us and I went upstairs and I always held on to the banister but I was going up there to tell him turn the music down too loud for me when I'm on call and you know, he did he turned it right down and I came short Riser stairs came down the stairs.

34:53 Wasn't holding on to the banister cuz I was holding onto my phone.

34:58 Slipped fell went straight into the wooden TV tray

35:08 Ended up but I had a migraine and I went into the doctor to get a shot for my migraine and I'm talking to the nurse this roving for the exam and I'm bending over and you know that really hurts right there this morning and I I know since this morning was putting my shoes on whatever and she goes. Well, I'll tell the doctor about it.

35:30 I broke a rib, but my head hurts so bad that I didn't know that I broke a rib.

35:40 So yeah, they were still using they don't use them anymore. They just make you heal on your own at that time. I had a girdle that went around it to keep it in gas.

35:52 So how

35:54 Klutz Klutz, what did my dad do whenever you fell well I was on the call they heard me I slept he came running down and I'll pick me up and got got me down the rest of the stairs and then he went back up to listen to his music or watch TV or whatever it was he was doing up there.

36:18 Elsa's mom. She did it again then him and Aunt Shannon get along on there.

36:24 She went after him with the baseball bat one time I heard about that. There's a crack in the door and just got the door closed. They fight about how blue the sky was red and Sean was having some problems with some of the kids at the lake and she goes, you know, he might be a jerk, but he's my jerk and so she would be his Defender.

36:57 I like onion Magnus.

37:01 Seattle fighting like that just

37:04 And to this day, I don't remember why she went after him. She was just really mad at him.

37:12 Remember for Christmas we got her new bed and it was I was home. It was delivered the day before Christmas.

37:21 And I have the door covered up the Big Bowl on its biggest bowl. I could find it, you know aluminum foil and I told Shannon she was going to sleep on the couch that night cuz she wouldn't get her big present till Christmas day. So we made your dad was on the floor peeking under the door to see what it was.

37:46 He could not stand it my gosh or they shared a phone but it was in her room and a long cord on it and she didn't want him to have the phone. So she was holding on to it A Yank the phone out of the wall cuz it was her days to have the phone in her room or something. I don't remember how

38:11 But you're very good friends. Now, he'll that he'll even calling my sister lately. That's cuz I asked him.

38:22 Or you can call her.

38:24 I could or text her or Facebook or she's somebody that I've never seen that fast.

38:38 You must get it from her.

38:41 And there's something about your laugh that reminds me of Shanna.

38:46 And if you got this this look here. Yeah, we all share his dad and your aunt.

38:56 Even my my sister to a certain extent.

39:06 Well, thank you for coming and bringing me with you. It was nice.

39:13 Is suspend one of the most fun things. I can't believe the time is over. I love you very much Lindsey. Lm2 and I thank you for this memory, but we will have for the rest of our lives and you'll be able to pass on to your children.

39:31 I don't know what you were like, I think 10.

39:35 Almost 17