Daniel Abril and Gloria Abril
Description
Gloria Abril (62), an advocate for her nephew Daniel Abril (25), interviews him about his struggle with mental illness and what has been most challenging throughout his journey.Subject Log / Time Code
Participants
- Daniel Abril
- Gloria Abril
Recording Locations
Phoenix Art MuseumVenue / Recording Kit
Initiatives
Transcript
StoryCorps uses Google Cloud Speech-to-Text and Natural Language API to provide machine-generated transcripts. Transcripts have not been checked for accuracy and may contain errors. Learn more about our FAQs through our Help Center or do not hesitate to get in touch with us if you have any questions.
00:04 My name is Gloria Abril. I am 61 years old. Today is March 8th 2013 and we're located in Phoenix Arizona. My partner today is my nephew Daniel Abril who I also advocate for.
00:25 Hello, my name is Daniel bro. I'm 25 years old. It's March 8th 2013. We're here in Phoenix, Arizona and my partner is.
00:38 Is my Advocate / and Gloria?
00:44 Daniel before we get started with this magnificent interview. I wanted to let you know something that is very important. I wanted to let you know even with your struggles with mental illness. I have been exceptionally proud of you as a person as my nephew and someone struggling with mental illness. You have allowed me to not only be your aunt but to become your Advocate and help you through the process of recovery and you've been open-minded and accepted I've observed in you over these years the same things I observed with my sisters that whether you're fighting cancer lupus heart disease mental illness all of you in the family have faced the same nightmares drawbacks. You have good days. You have bad days you have days where you don't want to talk to anybody you have
01:44 Weight gain weight loss. So I feel that mental illness is just another major illness that we've entered into with our family and you've allowed me to have the honor of being right there with you through this process and watching you grow and learn how to handle your mental illness and is going to say I'm very very proud of you for everything you've gone through and making it to the age of 25.
02:14 Thank you so much and Gloria.
02:17 Then what I'd like to do is ask you a few questions, maybe to help people understand more about mental illness. Like when were you first diagnosed Daniel?
02:30 Well, I was diagnosed in May 11th. 2006 is was my senior year in high school almost near the end. I was 17 and we had went to our family Hospital st. Joseph's Hospital when this happened.
02:48 And that's when it all started.
02:52 And when you were at the hospital is st. Joseph's did you find it interesting that no one could figure out what was wrong with you at that time that they all thought it was drug or alcohol-related.
03:08 Yeah, I found it very scared and confusing because
03:12 You know, they didn't they constantly ask questions if I had used anything any substances like alcohol or drugs, whether legal or illegal and especially asking my father and the fact that my father was was always a sure of and everything that I never do such things and even when they did the tests if they were negative.
03:38 It showed that you had did not have any drugs or alcohol in your system. Correct? Yes, but yet all of the specialist that were brought in to talk to you could not believe that there were no drugs or alcohol in your system. Isn't that right? Yeah. I was not one to like succumb to peer pressure and everything to smoke whether cigarettes or pot or drink alcohol of any sorts things like that and everything. I didn't think it was necessary and
04:15 You know, I like I like my body to last forever not stopped working because of things like that.
04:22 When they diagnosed you at the hospital with the first stages of we're learning mental illness to be how long did it take you Daniel before you understood and accepted your illness.
04:38 It took about two or three years and stuff after I found out.
04:42 And I knew that at first I was in big denial for one thing because
04:52 I was like
04:53 Like many people that has a Zurn stereotypical beliefs or whatever people with mental illness are weak-minded and everything and all that and
05:06 Only people with mental illness
05:10 Are the ones that have?
05:13 Like I'm serious issues and I had no issues and I believe I didn't have any issues and everything and pretty much I can say that from
05:23 Those couple of years and everything that took me awhile to see and understand and accept.
05:29 That I was able to move a little further than I was a cuz
05:33 It was like pulling a rock behind me giant boulder Ashley before it and everything.
05:43 Did you think it was a bad thing that your family took you to the hospital? And this was all disclosed?
05:55 In the beginning. Yes, I
05:59 I would say I don't think I would say hate but the fact that I strongly disliked but I was taken to the hospital and all this happened at 1st and everything but knowing how my family is the only reason why they did this did what they did is because they loved and cared for me.
06:18 And most of all they wanted to know what they can do to help me get better.
06:24 What are some of the biggest challenges you faced with the struggles of your mental illness?
06:33 Well, one of the big things mostly and everything with having multiple diagnosis of mental illness and everything. One of the big things was definitely the symptoms and everything cuz you know, I started out with start out with major depression and everything and anxiety and everything and I took pills for it, but then for a while I stopped taking pills and from there.
07:04 You know, I had to get hospitalized and then they found some other things about me that they found out like borderline personality disorder and gave me more meds. And you know, the other thing was being in the hospital for the second time because the first hospital I went to
07:23 Pleasant Scottsdale Banner behavioral and from there. I remember it being not very awkward and you know, they were very small setting kind of like
07:38 Just like little cozy warm place in a weird way, but the people were so very awkward. But when we went to the state hospital and everything it was bigger, you know, they are pretty bland with the fact that all the people there were there for the same reason to get help and to get treated.
08:00 Did you think that the hospital that you were in seems small and cozy because of your illness or because of the fact that that's what you were yourself were experiencing.
08:18 Well
08:21 I guess the fact that
08:24 How is it put in everything that keep it simple or simply has it done or whatever because you know, we didn't have we didn't have much around and everything. We didn't have colorful things. We didn't have like art around we had we had books and more games are there but they were stored in food cupboards and everything and all that and in your room you pretty much just had the dresser drawer and where you can put things in and then you have the bathroom in there.
08:58 And
09:00 You know, it was just
09:03 I don't know how to put it. It was just relaxing cuz it you know, I was able to kind of take my mind off of things and refocus on what was going on with me at the time or what I found interesting is that your mother had the same impression you did and my impression cuz I was there as you know, we spent 38 hours in the emergency room till they got you a bed at the hospital and I was so grateful that you were in such a magnificent facility that had so many good things there and had a big yard where you could walk around if you wanted to but you were one of the lucky ones that got a private room for the first few days and there was just so many counselors and therapists. So I was viewing it slightly different as such a nice place to have you to try and help you but I also viewed as a place to keep you safe because they didn't allow you to have pens. They didn't allow you to have spiral notebooks.
10:03 You might hurt yourself with cuz they didn't know enough to know what would hurt you or the other people there. So my take on this place was that you were in a magnificent place. And this is the first time I've heard your take on how you felt about it. So it's good to know this because now maybe I can explain to other parents and other Advocates that they need to ask their loved one. What are they going through? What are they thinking how do they feel one of the things that I wanted to ask you was? What did you have you found the hardest thing to cope with working and walking towards recovery with your mental illness. What's the hardest thing?
10:54 Well the hardest thing.
10:57 And with the recovery and everything and all that honestly is change and
11:05 It's hard to be specific per say about change because it could be changes with medication because that's been going on recently to be changes in environment and everything like school and everything and how you know, it's proved to be challenging but I persevere and continue onward despite how
11:28 Interesting things get or it could be where I go to my clinic and see the doctors and case manager and everything and all that.
11:41 It's all these different things and everything and
11:45 I know that.
11:48 You know, it's scary, but then you know, what was that called? I can't remember I think of
11:58 I can't refuse said it but there was a wise person that one says do what you're afraid to do. So that's what I do and you have done everything you're afraid to do. That is the one thing because you have gone to do things that I don't think I could have handled like starting school or Community College. I started and I gave up because it was too much for me. I was scared and you have said I'm not giving up I will continue on which is impressed me and now speaking of school one of the questions. I wanted to ask you was when you were in school and grade school and high school. Were you ever bullied?
12:46 Yes, it was mostly in grade school and everything.
12:50 As far as I remember and everything, you know, if it wasn't my hide it was my ethnicity if it wasn't my ethnicity, it was my sexuality and you know some guys that I wasn't really a straight guy and everything and I was I just was more tired to be a of a gentleman just like my dad. So, you know, I had trouble dealing with bullies and everything and I do my best to handle the situation as best as I can and as well as you put it in everything you were one of the people that helped me on the situation like this where I just Basics basically say God bless you, and they tend to leave me alone or reply and leave while saying Jesus Freak or something like that. So it helped you to have a positive reply to give people when they were bullying you.
13:48 Yes, I think so because instead of kind of feeding into it and everything. It just stopped it right there in the bud. But these people that were bullying you. What did they want you to do?
14:04 I really don't know what they wanted out of me. I wish I could understand what it was and stuff iron bird running into one of them one day and everything couple years back and they said they were trying to make me tough and strong. I said I said, well honestly, you know, if you're supposedly a friend and everything you wouldn't do that to a friend and at what would what made you think that saying things and doing these things to me would make me tougher? It's like affects everybody differently. It's like maybe you have people that did that to you but
14:45 It doesn't always make mean that will happen the same way with the a different person.
14:50 And this what you met these people now as adults.
14:54 Yeah, I met a couple of my grade school classmates and everything and we talked a lot and just different things and everything. None of them tend to go back into the past and everything.
15:09 And I don't usually kind of goal asking why you do this why she did that because it took me awhile is it one of another challenge I remembered is letting things go just
15:23 Forgetting about it. Just moving on from them because
15:28 I just held onto them with all my might hoping maybe I get answers or something out of it.
15:35 And currently are you being bullied by anyone now? Like I know you take the bus. I know you take the light rail. I know that you walk on the streets a lot. Do you find it people believe you because of your height or because you have this gigantic enormous backpack that you carry with you everywhere.
15:57 Not really right people tend to Joe cuz I think that's nothing but you know, I don't mind I just before I used to get really sensitive really really sensitive about these things and everything. Now do it nowadays. It's I just laugh it off or whatever people are alive, man. It looks like you got a hunch back there or hey, it's like looks like a show on your back. I said I said because I'm a ninja turtle. You know, I'm I'm packing what I need and they're like laughing and then there's other times where it's just like
16:31 Height and everything is like so were you in the what would you call it? Was it where you in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? I said I said no I said I said I said don't believe just don't look this good. Sorry.
16:45 And
16:47 You know it people crack jokes everything and I laugh about it. I don't have people making fun of me anymore bullying me. What I think is interesting is prior to you being diagnosed with mental illness had someone made that comment about Oompa Loompas you would have gotten very angry and upset and it would have lasted for the whole week maybe even two weeks and now you just let it slide off your back is like no big deal or off your shell as you put it and to me I find that interesting because I find that mental illnesses with his helped you cope with these things that you had a hard time dealing with when you were in grammar school and high school. What do you say?
17:34 Yeah, well, whether it's mental illness or not and everything just learning coping tools and skills and strategies to help you get past these things and everything are very helpful and resourceful and reliable to anybody out there and everything and even though I learned a different way and everything, it's it's made things a lot better and easier for me great one of the questions I would like to know because I know what I think but I want to know what you think about what has helped you the most in your road to recovery.
18:18 I mean, I know it's probably a lot of things. So just tell me what you think is helped you.
18:25 Well, everybody has different beliefs and everything. I believe in God for one thing and God is the major thing most of all cuz he can't he has he's the main source that connects to everything connect to my support team in recovery at my clinic the family and friends that are that are still with me by my side even when I got diagnosed and everything.
18:50 And just giving me that.
18:54 Live dude that will to live and keep going and keep moving forward despite how much hardships I get in life. But you know for some reason I always like a charm so bring them on So when you say that God is your first priority what other things in addition to God helped you and your road to recovery.
19:21 Well if I had to put a priority on it God being first.
19:26 Suck it would be family.
19:29 Because family has been there for me and everything and when I mean family, I mean my mom my dad my sister.
19:36 My nephew and my niece.
19:39 You and Gloria.
19:45 Aunt Lori
19:47 Different other family members and everything. I'm trying to remember.
19:51 And in the friends friends are also part of the family and everything cuz they're like
19:59 Different it's different there, but you know.
20:03 It's really been helpful, and then number three would be.
20:08 The support teams that I got over at my clinic and everything the doctors does the psychiatrist the nurse the case manager that the whole team and everything that works on helping me.
20:24 It in betterment of my recovery.
20:28 And hope make sure that I'm living a full long healthy life. Do you consider the team that you currently have as being a part of your family?
20:44 In a way, yes, because they know me too. Well, like family doesn't everything. Sometimes it seems like so well enough that even I don't know and sometimes I'm thinking I'm me I should know everything about me but I don't but but family is not always just blood is it it includes a lot of people it's who you feel your family is, right?
21:12 Yes, pretty much and everything and stuff, you know, all the people that are connected to me in my life and everything.
21:22 And that helped me along the way as I helped them to and everything has become family to me. So do you feel that in the road to recovery the family plays a major part in a person's life?
21:37 Yes, it really does. So, I'm sorry. I interrupted you go ahead. Now. That was a I'm sorry. I was going to say so what would you recommend to someone who doesn't have any blood family and who doesn't feel the others are family. What would you recommend that they do?
21:59 What I would recommend
22:03 Well, I wouldn't really have any recommendations. It was it would be just the fact that.
22:09 You know family doesn't mean it always has to be blood and the fact that as long as as the people you're with that you consider family and everything or loving and caring and compassionate and willing to be as part of your life as you are a part of theirs. That's all that matters.
22:30 What would you say is the most important thing that your actual blood family needs to learn to help someone who is the beginning stages of suffering with mental illness? What would you like your family to have known at that time?
22:57 Well
22:59 I think the big thing that I would have liked like to
23:05 Hat would have had was the fact that
23:09 To understand and accept and everything because
23:14 You know for a time I had my mother who
23:19 You know, nothing's wrong about prayer and everything, but she pray that she wanted me to pray that I'd be healed and there will be no more illness and I'll be the end of it but it's just like any other illness out there and everything that people have you got people with heart disease you got people with with liver disease got cancer you got
23:42 Rheumatoid arthritis you got different things.
23:46 Is there but you have to learn how to live with it and manage it?
23:51 To the best of your abilities with treatment and medication.
23:56 So that's what you were like to your family to have done is to understand and learn.
24:01 Yes, because knowledge is power.
24:06 And the fact that it would have made things a little more easier, but they're learning their learning it took time, but it's their learning and everything and that's what makes me feel good because the fact that
24:20 They know how much it means for me and my life by take that I take care of myself and the fact that
24:28 I want them to be able to know.
24:30 What they can be in everything.
24:35 For the one thing that you taught me which was very hard for me to handle and if I was going to be your Advocate I had to listen to you that you taught me that I had to keep my mouth shut that I had to listen to you and what your needs were and this wasn't a program of recovery for Gloria. It was a program for recovery for Daniel and you were the architect of this program. You were the one designing it you were the one saying what was acceptable what was not and that was the hardest thing for me to cope with and the one thing I tell family members is listen to your loved one, even when they are not well that they're in crisis you just sit back and listen so you can learn but it is your life. It's not my life and I've learned so much from you because of this cuz I've had to learn.
25:34 Not only to keep my mouth shut but to listen to here to understand and to follow what you're asking of me and you've been very patient in that process even got to the point to where he developed a hand sign to work when I was talking out of turn. You just put your hand up and gave me the clue to stop talking cuz it wasn't my turn to talk cuz you know I talk okay. Yes. Oh to me.
26:06 Your road to recovery has taught me a lot of information on how to deal with my other family members with the community with my co-workers. Do you feel that your road to recovery and the position that you've empowered me in has made a difference in how I behave in the real world?
26:31 I am pretty sure absolutely positively sure it has and everything and slowly and surely so are other people in my life to visit besides you and everything that are showing that as well.
26:49 What does that been like for you?
26:52 To see that change in your family.
26:56 Well
26:57 You know, I was hoping for instant change or in my case my I used to have the mindset where instant gratification so I was like it's there but it's not like that now but you know what, whatever every time I talk to family and everything other than my Advocate and everything that they would listen.
27:24 And sometimes you know, they didn't have to ask questions. Sometimes they didn't they didn't they didn't think they had to say anything. But listening was the big thing that I needed and
27:41 Sometimes I would ask.
27:44 What do you have to say? Is there anything you want to tell me that you think would help out or whatever and they would tend to respond sometimes but then you know.
27:56 It would just say.
27:59 Well it did you feel better talking and I said yeah, I feel better talking.
28:04 Was it hurtful when your family would respond things that you knew were not true?
28:16 Yeah, there were times like that and
28:21 You know, I just I just at first I didn't understand but at some points.
28:28 Through therapy and everything and all that that I kind of learned there were just as confused and scared as I was so they they never meant to do it intentionally they just
28:41 Where they like that, but what brought to your attention that they didn't do it intentionally was that they were scared fear affects people very differently, doesn't it? Yes, and the one thing that I was very grateful for is that I never knew that you had fear that you were scared until earlier today when we were talking cuz I figured I could have no fear. I could not be scared cuz you weren't scared and you had no fear. So if I was there to advocate for you, how could I have fear or be scared? And you told me earlier that you were scared tell me. What scared you.
29:27 Oh boy.
29:29 Why did that slip my mind? Oh boy.
29:35 I forgot what it was it scared me. I'm sorry, but I know that if all you were in the hospital you were scared all yeah the hospital. Yeah.
29:46 You know that being hospitalized for the second time was very scary and everything and stuff and
29:53 I wasn't sure where things going to go because it was very serious indeed and everything.
30:00 Still kind of bothers me to this day, but it's not as bad as it used to be before I wake kind of fallen 2.
30:10 A state of depression and everything and all that.
30:15 But nowadays it just kind of like a shiver by that's about it. We're cuz you were in the hospital for a very long time while they're trying to stabilize you and while they were trying to find you a place to live that was safe. And that was my mission and goal to make sure that you were safe because when you were living with me in that big house all by yourself all day long while I was at work, I did not feel you are safe and some days. I would come home and find out that you hadn't been safe because remember when you went out on the bike and slipped and got all scraped up and then try to heal yourself with alcohol and I kept thinking he's not safe. You'll hurt himself in Owen to me.
31:03 I didn't realize it. That was a scary time for you until you told me.
31:09 So what would you recommend to people who are suffering from mental illness and are scared should they disclose this to their family or their support team?
31:23 It's very important.
31:26 To let someone know anyone really do know that you're afraid or you're scared. Are you fearful of something? Because if you keep inside of yourself and everything you just said is one of those things that just eat away at you to the point where there's nothing left there except fear or whatever. It is inside of you.
31:49 What are the changes you've seen in the last 5 years during your road to recovery from 5 years ago to today?
32:02 Well
32:05 It's a surprising five years and stuff goes by so fast and
32:13 Honestly, you know
32:16 It was a fact that.
32:19 You know that back then there was a time where I wasn't sure what I can do what I was capable of.
32:28 If it was even possible if things can be done and I'll and it was always those people that I used to know or used to associate with or just those that supposedly said you can't do this you won't be able to do this. This is impossible. This is too much for you to do is too much to handle this and that and everything.
32:51 But in a way now, I prove them wrong, but I prove to myself that I can do it too forward amazed me was when you wanted her role in the community college. I said, oh no, you can't do that Daniel. That's too hard. It'll hurt you. And you said well, I'll start slow and you did and I thought oh no, this is going to really set him back. Do you feel that entering School set you back?
33:25 Not really. No.
33:28 Cuz you know sit aside from getting the education I want and stuff. I've met even more people than before. I'm socializing with a lots of people that are over there and everything and stuff some people, you know are learning what I'm learning to because they were surprised when I shared
33:50 You know information and stuff like that because
33:56 You know when the only walk happened a few months back and everything?
34:01 You know people were so curious as to why I was fighting for this since I have certain Club I go to they would be like his why you really want us to do this walk and everything different things like that and they they thought it was a spokesperson for her Nami for one thing and I was like, no it's like I can just relate to it and everything and some people pick up on that little cute really easy. They were just like oh and from there they just
34:31 They kind of helped make more people aware and understand things a little better. So they accepted who you are without asking questions without wondering why they just accepted pretty much so the whole new environment of new people to talk to has helped you. Yes, great.
34:55 Nami is National Alliance for mental illness there an organization that helps people out like myself as well as the families and everything they are dealing with
35:09 Family members who are mentally ill we provide education.
35:15 And support groups to the entire Community across the United States at no cost to anyone who wishes to acquire knowledge or receive support. The mission in the goal is to help people make it to the next day and also educate them.
35:36 In the process
35:39 And Daniel's a big advocate of Nami because he's had a walk team for three consecutive years and he broke a barrier when he was being told people with mental illness can't raise money. Daniel has raise money every year and each year raises more and more money that helps Nani provide classes since the park was to the community at no cost, but they told him he couldn't do it and he set out to do it and he's done it.
36:11 Write Daniel. Yes, that's for sure. What do you see in the future for Daniel?
36:20 I'm not quite there yet and everything. I'm just more focus on the present right now. I used to do a lot of
36:30 Picturing the future or trying to look ahead of myself weather was 5 years from now 10 years from now.
36:39 Right now I'm pretty much content with where I'm at. And from there. We'll see where it takes me. I know I want to reach my goals and dreams and everything but you know, it takes time. So I'm waiting for that. What would you like to tell others who have fat who have people in their families suffering from mental illness? What would you like to tell them that would help them cope?
37:07 Help them understand.
37:11 Well for one thing and everything is the fact that
37:18 We're just like everybody else. We have a disease too and the fact that if if you want to understand and be able to help and everything learn about it read about it watch videos anything like that to help out and everything and the fact that it's sad to say that you know, some people
37:46 Tend to believe the media lot more because there's a lot of
37:52 Things that happened on the news and people
37:56 Think that's are typically that's what people with mental illness are the violent belligerents.
38:02 And everything all that and it's not true and the ones that seem like they are honestly, they're just scared and confused inside anyone help but they don't know how to do it.
38:15 Did you want to mention what your actual diagnosis ended up being?
38:22 If you want to
38:24 Go ahead. What the heck you tell the world might as well tell tell it now.
38:31 Yeah, well or do you want me to say it? No, it's fine. I was just say
38:37 Yeah, well, it's so less. It's like a list now. So it's like as it goes manic depression with border borderline personality disorder bipolar disorder OCD
38:53 And I think that's pretty much it. It's can you just can you say what OCD stands for?
39:01 Lehigh understand with no CD stand for the ivory get that everybody knows what those letters stand for in obsessive compulsive disorder.
39:11 Right and anxiety and panic sometimes set in also don't they? Yeah, but that's almost like once in a blue moon kind of thing. But in the beginning it was all the time where they send it. Yes. I remember that. Yeah and being able to receive the right counseling and treatment has made major differences in that it has great. So I wanted to take this time to thank you Daniel for allowing us to do this because I think it's important for people to understand the road that you've gone on and the road that I've traveled with you because I don't think very many family members get the opportunity to travel and I went from being your aunt to being your Advocate and I feel that because you honored me with that title and that job. I've been able to learn a great deal that will help our family and helps the community. So thank
40:11 You for allowing me to travel this road with you.
40:16 You're welcome. And thank you so much too for being here and helping me get to where I need to be and everything especially here today and doing this and everything and all that and I hope the message is heard out there for everybody.