Mark Sprenz and Stacey Sprenz

00:04 My name is Stacy sprenz. I'm 42 years old today's date is April 19th, 2014 or in Durham, North Carolina, and I am marks friend's spouse.

00:23 My name is Marc's friends age 41 today is April 19th, 2014 and we're in Durham North Carolina and I am married to Stacy's friends.

00:37 So I'm going to ask you a way back question.

00:40 Why do you think you join the Marine Corps?

00:47 Well at the time I was in the Colorado Air National Guard and then working at

00:54 Fresh Fish Company, you know, we were newly-married and

01:00 Really needed more than what we had at that time.

01:06 You know, I was working days you were well, I was working during the day going to school at night. You were working days, you know, so we didn't get to see each other that much.

01:19 Money was tight and you know, I felt that.

01:25 Going active duty and something would be the best way to

01:33 To go, I guess you know.

01:36 You know, you sent me down to the the recruiter's office. So I went and talked to the Army first and

01:44 Listen to what they had to say. It seemed almost like a

01:50 Used car salesman, you know they would I didn't have to go to bootcamp since already went through the Air National Guard. I didn't it was too good to be true. You know, they were going to make me a warrant officer in a pilot and all that stuff and I was just too good to be true. So I decided to go across didn't talk to the Marine Corps Recruiters and sounded like a challenge. It sounded different the recruiters were much different than the Army and

02:20 It just

02:22 Something gelled with it and

02:28 You know, I agree to it, you know, I had to make the steps and everything to make it happen unlike with the Army and

02:37 I don't know. There was just something that resonated with it.

02:41 You know and then of course they wanted to come speak to you so we came in that night. Yeah, you remember that I do.

02:48 And

02:51 I remember that their chairs set so low and they had like those recruiting posters and all that around Marine Corps stuff that kind of high on the wall and they were standing at their desk rather than sitting so it's kind of that whole, you know.

03:07 I don't know not intimidating in a bad way, but just you know, this is this is for real. This is a big deal. And I remember looking at him and saying yeah, I'm fine with it. I'm the one who sent him to you. It's like he really I think he expected me to be the spouse. That was like no no don't go into the military and it's like no really this is okay. We've already been through Air Force basic training. What's another basic training? What's more separation?

03:36 Do you ever regret any of it?

03:40 No, I wouldn't say that. I think I would go through it again, you know, definitely.

03:47 Definitely a lot of good experiences, you know, of course, you know, the good comes with the bad but overall I would definitely say the good outweighs the bad that I think it gave us a life a married life in a family life that many of our friends, you know, don't understand but kind of sets us apart.

04:09 What do you think your proudest moment was in the Marine Corps? I mean 21 years is a long time to pick one moment. But if you could pick one.

04:23 You know, I would say that was later on in the Marine Corps. I mean graduating boot camp was a proud moment. But you know after everything else that you've been through. It's almost you know, not that big of a moment, you know, once it's kind of that bigger scale. I would say, you know, seeing the the people that I put in the Marine Corps succeed, you know, like when Nick graner picked up staff sergeant and called me and congratulated me and thanked me for putting him in the Marine Corps and just seeing what the others.

05:01 Have been able to do once they came into the Marine Corps, you know Doug's another person and Gustavo.

05:11 You know, I would definitely say there their they're proud moments.

05:16 What was the most difficult thing that you did while you were in the Marine Corps the most difficult moments I mean for you personally.

05:25 Not necessarily for a family.

05:31 Play the most difficult.

05:36 Moment was actually

05:39 On my deployment in the COC in 2006

05:47 One of the tanks.

05:50 Got hit by an IED, which you know it was.

05:54 Pretty normal, you know cuz they would hit like a 5lb ID in the track would come off so we could send the

06:03 The recovery vehicle out, you know what the pair of Tanks to recover that vehicle and the tracks and bring it back but that day

06:13 As sergeant Gentry was actually getting out.

06:17 He he got shot.

06:22 Do you know the initial?

06:25 Call into the COC was.

06:28 In the combat operations center

06:33 You know, what's for the Medevac Sergeant Gentry and it was a gunshot wound to the chest and you know to me I I hesitated, you know.

06:48 You know, it's just one of those moments like you know, what are you do? You know Matt's aren't Herbert was there and he actually, you know took over and

06:59 Got the Medevac through and you know, you know Sergeant Gentry was fine. You know, you actually it ended up being a gunshot wound to his tricep and Grace this chest by a gunshot wound to his chest.

07:14 You know, but

07:17 You know, it's just one of those moments where

07:20 You know just kind of overwhelming.

07:23 You know, but there was somebody else to kind of pick it up for me. Do you think that's when it kind of got real for you that you were in a war zone?

07:32 I would say that would have happened.

07:36 In a couple months sooner and actually the anniversary was just you know, April 15th, you know when Corporal Mayorga and the two other Scouts

07:48 Died during an IED blast

07:52 I would say that's when it became real.

07:57 2006

08:01 And where were you serving? It was in the Volusia area?

08:08 Have Iraq.

08:10 We were also in Hibernia. It was kind of a split two point. We were in Fallujah Iraq, and then habenaria right outside of taqqadum also called TQ.

08:26 And these people who passed where they people that you you are close to that you was actually my age he was

08:38 Emigrated from Belize and lived in Miami. He was a

08:44 He actually did four years of college. He was an engineer actually was an engineer for a while. We we talk back at 2nd tank Battalion on several occasions, you know, it was just interesting. I was a Gunnery Sergeant. He was a Corporal, you know, but we were the exact same age. She just came into the Marine Corps much later.

09:04 You know, so we had the age thing in common in but just didn't eat man.

09:13 That was really the first time you'd ever lost a friend like that as an adult, right? So when the new yes, yeah.

09:24 How was the rest appointment?

09:27 Of the three that you did which one do you think if you had to pick one was the roughest on you?

09:36 I would have to say the 2006 to point was probably the roughest just because

09:42 Out of the nine. I knew at least.

09:47 6

09:49 You know that actually work killed in action.

09:55 Out of the nine

09:58 Who are the nine who are the nine the nine Marines from 2nd tank Battalion. There was five that were actually with me on my deployment.

10:14 And that was

10:17 On May 11th. We lost the whole tank crew that they went into a canal north of Fallujah.

10:25 And then on August 3rd Sergeant Yola passed away. He got killed by an IED.

10:31 But Copa Mayorga was with our Scout platoon.

10:37 Who just happen to be deployed at the same time, but they were attached to a different unit.

10:42 And then

10:45 Tell platoon they had one Marine killed on his very last day. He was doing something that we call left seat right seat.

10:53 And it was his last Patrol and a sniper shot him in the side cuz he had passed off his side snap peas to the other section. There wasn't enough side Sappy's to go around at the time. So

11:06 They pass them on to the next guy and he ended up taking around in the side and I guess they thought he was going to be okay, but he end up passing away.

11:17 I guess on his way to the blood.

11:21 I think at that time we were already back in the States.

11:28 So when you're going through all that and you're there cuz I've never had that experience.

11:35 Do you ever think about how?

11:39 Those things getting back to the families effects like us like me and the kids and are you just so focused on what you got to do there?

11:50 Cuz I often wonder that like I didn't I don't think I wanted you worrying about how we were taking the news. I wanted you focused on.

12:01 Grieving or you know doing whatever you need to do there.

12:08 You know, I would say you don't think about it that much, you know.

12:13 Like that day that Cooper my my order in the two other Scouts, you know were killed was the day that we went out for our 2-week up.

12:23 You know, so we were we were actually packing up and loading up when we heard the call on the radio about him.

12:32 You know, so we went to the field that night and you just continue on.

12:39 You know, we had the memorial service just a little after we came back.

12:44 But you just keep plowing through and doing what you do.

12:50 You think that's why you're able to do those. I mean three deployments just can't think about

12:56 Back at home

13:01 When you set up a routine and

13:05 You just kind of get into the rat race and

13:09 You just do it. You don't think about much.

13:13 Except for what's at hand? And

13:16 Getting to the day and

13:19 Getting through the week and then getting to the Mont then.

13:23 And you're done with the deployment.

13:26 I think it's the same on the end of us that are at home to

13:32 I think sometimes it takes a little longer for us to get into that routine.

13:36 Cuz you guys are kind of you know, jumping on the Merry-Go-Round as it's already turning and we kind of have to get the Merry-Go-Round turning and find that kind of that deployments tried.

13:47 I guess for me it was always you know, like I wanted you to be busy. I wanted you not to be sitting there going while I really wish I was at home, you know.

14:00 But at the same time I know it was tough. I mean you were working long days and and all that so

14:06 I would say even when it was slow you kind of made yourself busy go to the gym in the morning or run or

14:14 You would do something to keep yourself busy.

14:19 You talk about just

14:21 Keeping going getting into this routine.

14:25 Did you ever have moments or do you ever have moments where?

14:31 The kind of enormity of what you're doing hits you.

14:42 No. I wouldn't say I wouldn't say I would say no.

14:46 For me, you know for me I wasn't.

14:51 I wasn't an infantryman. I wasn't you know out patrolling all the time or anything like that. You know, there was a few times that I would go out on my second third deployment, but they were

15:04 Itomori administrative type convoys and things of that nature so it was

15:10 I would say my experience was much different than others within the unit.

15:24 So now that that's all in the past and it's in the past in a big way, you know 21 years and then you retire and you've been retired now for a little over a year.

15:37 What do you miss the most about that cuz I think sometimes

15:42 You know the deployments and all that they become the focus, but that was only what there were three deployments for 7 months and that's 21 months out of a 21-year career.

15:55 I mean, what do you miss? I would say the people.

16:01 You know just the camaraderie of

16:05 The other escena cuz you the jokester the playing around the seriousness.

16:19 It's kind of hard to explain it. But the Marine Corps has its own culture and I don't know it's you can say something and somebody understands it.

16:33 You know own acronym sin just vocabulary. It's it it's so much different than anywhere else. I've been and of course now being in nursing school is kind of much different. You know, it's

16:52 I would say you're almost like an island sometimes cuz sometimes you use say some of that old vocabulary and they just kind of look at you funny.

17:02 So it's always nice to find a

17:07 A former Marine or someone else a fellow veteran and they just kind of get you they understand.

17:15 Can you give us an example?

17:18 Any of the things, you know, I I can't really say that here my filters got to work.

17:31 You know, there's there's just one of they call you. They would always have a filter he was gunny inappropriate but that you know that that was part of the culture. I mean

17:47 I don't know and there's an endearing quality of that to the people. I think expect out of military people especially marines that you know, it's okay if you slip up and say a curse word here and there because I mean after all your Marine your, you know, kind of like you have a right to do it or to be a little crass sometimes.

18:06 You just have to be in the right place.

18:10 Do you feel kind of like a fish out of water though? Sometimes I do now. Yeah, you know socially, you know, especially being with all males in a few females and now it's

18:24 All females in just a few males would be

18:30 I mean cuz I think that you know that definitely kind of shapes who you become and how you interact with your peers and that kind of thing.

18:39 So tell us about your decision to to go into nursing.

18:45 You know, I guess that you know what you're going to nursing I thought about that actually since before my 2006 deployment.

18:57 You know, I just I don't know another way to serve. You know, I knew that I really couldn't do that in 2006 cuz I still had another six or seven years to go before I can actually retire from the Marine Corps, but I knew that that was something that I wanted to do afterwards.

19:14 You know in for me nursing is just another way to continue to serve others just in a different aspect.

19:32 So what about the kids? Let's talk about the kids.

19:38 Okay, no, cuz I think it's interesting for you to be home now so much and just that they're still I would say a little bit of

19:48 How are rift but just you guys are kind of still getting to know each other because of all the time that you were gone, you know, whether it was a deployment or just working really long hours and not able to engage in family life.

20:03 I mean in there ain't no almost 13 and 20 now, so

20:09 How does I mean what does that feel like, you know, I'm the parent that's always been there and you know kind of maintain some sense of normal. So I don't know what it's like to be you and that parenting aspect.

20:22 I would say that yes, I definitely missed out on a lot between recruiting Duty and

20:29 The deployments in just the busy schedule that I did keep being at least for the first eighteen years.

20:41 For Mia, you know when she told me that I miss 6/9 birthday is you know, that was that was pretty rough.

20:51 You at least now I'm at 50% and soon to go over 50% but he's missed six of my birthdays are he's missed as many of my birthday is it was like kind of like that that was kind of her litmus test of you know, this is what it's like to be a military kid.

21:13 You know, so I would definitely say that I'm kind of making it up.

21:19 To her as we're going but you know, it's kind of hard to parent her simultaneously. Do you feel like you kind of need to make up for that last time with them?

21:29 Yes, you know, but it's

21:34 You know, I want to be a disciplinarian. But at the same time I kind of need to step back a little bit and kind of give them their the space.

21:43 Just so there's not as much of a rift guys are still getting to know each other. I mean truly.

21:51 You know, I think being the parent that is home during all of that, you know that you know what those times kind of pulled us closer.

22:02 And you were the one who was not there.

22:05 And we don't fault you for that. But at the same time I think you know that closeness becomes that Bond of kind of surviving the deployments and surviving your optempo.

22:15 And so it's you know, it's like you guys haven't had that opportunity to beat, you know to have to go through something like that to make it a bonding thing for you guys.

22:26 I see that I don't know if you feel that sometimes.

22:31 I could see that.

22:34 You know in Jordan, you know, he's doing his thing now, you know Community College and you know, he's pretty much grown up now.

22:43 You know, so just be in there and

22:46 Being available I guess is probably the best thing that I can do for him, but absolutely agree with that.

22:57 What was the best care package we ever sent you? You know, I sent so many unlike so many of them had food in it. So I would always think you know, how exciting is it to get food? Guess that's exciting. If you're not if you don't have good food when you're there, but as far as the food, I mean the last appointment was where food was most important cuz we didn't have a child hall for

23:21 4 months, you know, so we're eating MREs for most of the time and then the chow hall would open up for a meal or so and

23:31 Meal Ready-to-Eat or a male in a bag start with your favorite. It was beef stew.

23:45 You know cuz it actually tasted like Dinty Moore beef stew but

23:51 You know, it's just a meal in a bag. It's packed with preservatives is definitely not the most healthy thing for you.

23:58 But

24:01 I I would eat it cold there was there was heaters in there, but I started off eating MREs cold. We didn't have heaters when I first joined so, you know, but honestly, you know and Iraq and Afghanistan Afghanistan swear, we actually ate MREs it was warm enough out there if it was outside. It was already warm.

24:24 So I didn't worry about warming it up. But getting the food was nice, you know, cuz I had that camp stove and

24:32 You know, my nickname was.

24:35 Can a Chef Boyardee cuz I would cook the the quinoa and they would get potatoes and onions and eggs and all that from the bizarre. And so I could stand up and let some of the Marines eat it.

24:51 But that was really are hot meal besides, you know, like Fourth of July weekend or whatever when they actually had steaks and would cook that up.

25:02 But I would say the best care packages when I got the

25:07 The DVDs of the kids, you know and just kind of

25:13 Just all the past pictures and videos and showing them from birth to where they were.

25:21 Those are pretty cool it was.

25:26 And the pictures that Mia would draw.

25:31 I remember when you brought all that stuff home and it has like this layer of grit on it and it was like all I could do was imagine all of these like taped up all over wherever you were sleeping.

25:42 And kind of make your own wallpaper.

25:46 And then to think that those have been all the way to Afghanistan and back it was kind of like woah, I don't know.

25:53 The enormity of that was pretty pretty intense.

26:01 So obviously the Marine Corps has changed a lot and the time that you were in.

26:07 And I don't think that either one of our children will probably go into the military.

26:12 And you are recruiter. So obviously, you know, you know how to share that lifestyle or the ins-and-outs of that lifestyle with others.

26:24 What would you say to somebody who was going to go into the military now, and I know that you've you know, you've talked to people before somebody else. They owe my son or my nephew was thinking about the military and you know, I always think it's pretty awesome that the first thing you say is. Well, here's my phone number have him. Call me.

26:41 But you know, it's a different military now and it's a different time now you came in and peacetime and then it has not been peace time for a very very very long time. And now we talk about TBI and PTSD and all of that. What would you say to somebody who?

26:57 Was getting ready to embark on the journey that you've already taken.

27:02 I would definitely recommend it to anybody.

27:06 You know, what's a good way to

27:11 Find yourself.

27:13 Find what you want to do in life give you life experiences.

27:23 You know friends everything I would I would definitely hire highly recommend that you know, especially if it's just a four-year stint.

27:31 Now a lot of the benefits and stuff that we've had, you know, we'll probably go away, you know, but

27:40 There's just a lot of talks and stuff about changing the retirement and less benefits as far as less money for all the

27:54 Happenings on base now, you know, there's just there's just so many different budget constraints and stuff that are currently going on that, you know downsizing of the force in just kind of the management between the morale welfare and Recreation. Peace, and the

28:13 Bullets and training expenses and stuff. So there's a big trade-off right now going on.

28:20 You know cuz all the branches that are downsizing they want to change the the retirement for folks, you know, so long term, you know, I probably wouldn't recommend that long-term, but I would definitely definitely highly recommend it for a 4-year term and then get out use the GI bill go to school.

28:44 Or some sort of vocational

28:49 I would definitely recommend it Angry that they're getting rid of some of that stuff for the day or at least cutting back on it.

28:57 I mean knowing knowing what we have been through our journey and the end of the benefits being part of your payment for the sacrifice. I mean, you know, how does it make you feel?

29:25 You know, I hate that for the later generations, but

29:30 You don't do it for the money right by you. You definitely don't do it for the money. You're not going to get rich out of.

29:36 Going into the military.

29:39 You know.

29:46 You know, I would I would I definitely don't want to talk about the politics and everything cuz

29:52 Yeah, there's no reason to get into that.

29:56 So

29:58 What about you know, I know that you've always kind of.

30:04 It's been difficult for you when people said thank you for your service.

30:08 You just rolled your eyes right now. So, you know, I mean what what is that? What is you know what I mean people say to me when you know when I called my husband was in the Marine Corps, you know, there was also thank thank him for his service. And you know, I was old I will thank you, you know like but it's different for me. I'm not you know, I mean, I guess we served in some capacity.

30:34 Will you serve in some capacity? But at the same time, you know?

30:39 The sacrifices or familial but the sacrifices will also very individual for you. So what is that about? What is how to how do you feel about that one? Somebody says thank you for your service.

30:55 I mean to me I feel awkward when they say thank you for your service. There's some people that you know, really appreciate it and almost.

31:04 Seek it out, but you know to me I I feel awkward.

31:10 You know to me.

31:12 I don't think you should thank me for my service. So, you know, I volunteered to do this, but it's if you

31:19 Went to thank me go serve others on your own not necessarily, you know in the military but you know policemen firemen EMTs nurses doctors School teachers, you know, they are they all serve others and I think that's

31:38 You know, there's a lot of folks within our society that

31:43 Don't serve others, you know, they're just they think about themselves before they think about others and I think there's a lack of social responsibility and

31:55 I think those folks are the ones that needs a

32:01 You don't serve others in some capacity, you know, it doesn't have to be the military by any means, you know, but volunteer, you know, get out there Feed the Homeless do something. You know, it's I don't know. There's just such a Great Divide.

32:19 Inanna

32:21 And I think that's

32:24 Why it's such an awkward moment because there is such a Great Divide. You know, I think the percentage is less than 1% actually served in Iraq and Afghanistan. So it's it's kind of an us-and-them thing. They they don't understand us and sometimes we don't understand them but

32:45 You know, it's just kind of awkward.

32:49 Do you think that they have

32:51 An idea or an understanding of what they're thinking you for?

32:56 Or do you think it's just the right thing for them to feel like they should do.

33:02 You know, I would say that it's

33:08 I don't know every verse of Vietnam, you know, I don't know if they feel guilty cuz I don't know. I don't know. It's just kind of an awkward.

33:18 Things to talk about you, no special not necessarily for me, but

33:24 You know, there's there's marines that you know, definitely feel guilty about things that they've done.

33:32 And then this person thanking them for it.

33:36 And David, how can I chat with your fellow marines that have done those things, but I could just imagine.

33:44 You know, I know one of the guys that I put in, you know, he was Manning and ECP and entry control point in Fallujah.

33:53 And you know, he followed all the procedures and you know, he actually had to fire a few rounds and one ricocheted and killed a little girl, you know, and I couldn't imagine.

34:06 What he feels like you know, and then somebody a thank you. You know that that would just

34:14 Can I rub you Raw?

34:19 Do you think it's important for people to understand that though like that when somebody says to you? Thank you for your service that that's that's your opportunity to kind of explain to them.

34:31 What?

34:33 That feels like

34:36 When I remember one time we were in California and we gone to an area that was not a military community and somebody said something like happy Memorial Day. Remember what time we were in Pasadena? Yeah, you know like and I remember thinking that that was such an odd thing to say.

34:58 And I know it like I mean it kind of really rubbed you the wrong way, you know, but I think that they were just at a loss of words to know what to say and I think it was after you present your military ID or something for identification, you know something and it was like well happy meal at you know, happy Memorial Day and it's like and I think that there is such you know, you talked about that disconnect and I think you know, I don't know I feel like that your responsibilities as somebody who

35:31 May the sacrifices and you know went to a war zone three times is

35:37 To gently using your filter let you know let them know what it is. You know that it's okay to feel thankful for that and to have gratitude for the fact that maybe they didn't have to go or their family member didn't have to go because you willingly volunteered

35:57 But you know, I think it's important that you

36:01 Tell people what you have that is for you as a service member.

36:08 I could see that but

36:10 It has to be in the right place at the right time. I would agree with that.

36:26 Themselves. Yes, did the military help you to find yourself? You know, I would say it definitely gave me time to find myself.

36:37 Here I joined when I was well, I join the Air National Guard when I was 19 and then join the Marine Corps when I was 20 going on 21.

36:47 Cuz honestly most most people that graduate high school have no idea, you know, or they go to college for four years and they get their degree, but

37:01 They don't know what they really want to do with it. You know, I know from me it took probably well into my 30s, you know, I think that's why so many people

37:14 Switch careers or you know, they go into something and this isn't what I thought, you know, so for me the military gave me time to research and definitely figure out what I did like and what I did like

37:35 Service

37:36 Oh wow.

37:38 You know, that's a difficult one cuz you know, there's so many.

37:47 Test that you're put through.

37:57 Yeah, there's so many dark moments and what I mean by a dark moment is just you know, several months of you know, just stressed and

38:07 Day-to-day routines and everything you don't like as far as specially recruiting Duty that was you know, 10 12 hour days sick sometimes 7 days a week.

38:19 And you know, you just kind of getting to that routine and

38:24 You're just worn out, but it's

38:31 It's one of those experiences once you're done with it you can kind of

38:37 Draw from it. You don't like I would definitely say that, you know recruiting Duty and my military experience has helped me greatly as far as nursing and connecting with patients.

38:54 You know when it's just like on recruit until you go to the grocery store and you just start talking to a kid, you know, when you tried to build rapport by finding certain things or you know people that they know and people that you know, and kind of connect that way so you connect on a different level and

39:14 I've been able to kind of bring that into.

39:18 My clinical situation working with patients.

39:22 You know, whether it's where they live or what they've done in the past and you know, it's just neat cuz I've had several.

39:33 Several patients with you know, Marine relatives and it just kind of opens it up and allows us to do what we need to do for the day.

39:44 So

39:46 I know that this was something that I really wanted to do. You are a little reluctant but

39:57 Thank you.

39:59 You're welcome. I think this was a little cathartic.

40:03 I was hoping that I love you.

40:06 Love you, too.