Calvin Henson and Stephanie Scott

00:02 Hi, my name is Calvin Henson. And I am 30 years old today is February 18th 2018 in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and I'm talking to my friend Stephanie.

00:14 And my name is Stefanie Scott. I'm 32 years old today is February 18th 2018 in Oklahoma City Oklahoma and my relationship to Calvin is that we are friends. He is the husband of one of my closest friends Darla. And today we're going to basically be interviewing about their relationship and the in the next session Starla will be taking the lead in interviewing my boyfriend about our relationship is a nice little Valentine's Day kind of gift for both of our relationship. So I suppose so I guess I would go ahead and start with four people who have never met Starla. I've never seen her. How would you describe Starla two other individuals?

01:06 Fake caring brightly personality-wise. She like everybody gets along with each. Everybody likes her hair that changes color.

01:31 Anymore

01:36 Like the first day we had like you just was just so seamless like it was everything Starla. How long have you been on the dating app, maybe like six or seven months and just kind of burnout on the whole dating thing just 111 and did it go any further change your perception of dating apps. No. I was just getting older and I'm just going to hang out for a while and then I got a message from her which

02:23 What is it? Say? Hi, Mary back and forth and we start talking about a few things. And did you ask specific things to make sure that she wouldn't reply back with Bots kinds of ants I don't recall board games 2018 you met on a dating app and you guys sooner or later. How long did it take for you guys to finally got two weeks. I want to see two to three weeks that right. This is the second year anniversary of her Valentine's Day. So that was four days ago.

03:23 On Valentine's Day. Is it is so when where did you guys go for this place? So I can never remember the name of it? I think it's called.

03:35 It's okay. It's a Woodfire pizzeria pizzeria in Edmond. Give me shit for nada.

03:50 Are we allowed to cuss by the fact that I didn't want to order this really weird extravagant pizza and she hadn't seen Deadpool one. I've seen it once already in the line. We want to go in there and then nice life. So during that first date what was kind of going through your mind. It was a normal or was it like the minute that you saw her? You knew there was something different for

04:42 Honestly, when is the first day like that's a poor like I was just telling you know, she seems really cool like finally getting nothing else, you know, just how many fun to hang out with and we start hanging out like it was very surprising like how many things we have in common and reviews on different things in general awkward moments on that first date. I don't know how to flirt and she came back from War. I was trying to be like laughed at me and gave me a hug.

05:42 What was the one for you? Did you have a single moment, or was it a moment's?

05:51 First month we were dating. I was just like hanging out at her apartment Stillwater. No just thing is like notice. This isn't normal like this feels

06:00 Right, like, you know, it's not feel comfortable is that it generally takes me a good amount of time to reach that level of comfort with somebody just because history of my family and all that stuff and

06:12 Now I'm going to be a little more Honda Civic standoffish, but like slow to warm up to people to trust.

06:24 Should be like I'm still wondering.

06:28 I still don't know. How did you propose?

06:32 A very awkwardly in the kitchen. I think it was after Thanksgiving. I don't remember shortly after Thanksgiving last year and

06:45 I had to ring for probably like three weeks maybe a little longer to tell you exactly what kind of prior to the only thing we're both kind of agreement like spending a bunch of money on something like that and when he can put it on, you know, ideally like the experience felt like a gold and diamond ring. It's

07:13 How do I get titanium type of rings very unique design with type of some type of crystal?

07:24 So do you remember what you said when you asked her nose, just hold her the kitchen.

07:41 That's nice. Were you afraid to say no? No, she was waiting for me to ask. Yeah, there's there's some in indoor less than subtle hints.

07:58 I should say. Did you hit you have a example of a less than subtle hint?

08:04 I'm pretty sure when she's like you want we should get married. So since she literally just I'm pretty sure she said that specifically yes, but what has been the funniest moment so far in your marriage just honestly like she surprised me all the time just funny stuff and things will do or say

08:34 I'll catch I caught her something. She said that a nine she's just like I have important things to do in just like turned around and just I find it hilarious just a little things there. So many things look like a certain food cause my favorite type of pliers and still is actually

08:57 All the time really literally every time is that happiest and so far has been awesome. Have you had a sad moment or one of the saddest moments so far in your marriage?

09:17 No, I mean still kind of honeymoon stage and I got ya kind of bond with v on what's been the greatest lesson you've learned from Starla about her the fact that I can tend to be very intense and passionate person about things and itching to go away and like like I really enjoyed her we would start talking about him just very sick, but like, you know or theories about certain things and I go way down the rabbit hole sometimes and she listens to me.

10:17 I got it. I expect other people to receive in the same way. It's just nice to be heard.

10:29 I'm talking about theories and books movies. There's thing I was reading about the new Blade Runner movie about how the main antagonist was potentially actually is a raccoon himself and I was like reading other stuff and I'm talking about it.

10:52 Or y'all talk about the lure of you know, certain meal books world of video games. Do you like that? And she listens nice to have

11:13 Why she may not be that interest her self. She actively makes an effort to listen to me and engage mean that it's nice to know cuz

11:23 I don't expect everyone to be on that same old love interest.

11:27 But you know, sometimes I just want to talk to somebody about that stuff.

11:31 And she's nice to tell us and then talk back I get that.

11:37 What do you admire most about Starla?

11:42 Stream vicious very driven. Would you go to school all those years plus holding down jobs nearby that she wants to use her utilize it to help people and I was just trying to find the right job that fits what she's looking for and I don't have that kind of Drive.

12:07 I'm a curmudgeonly old man and my age so

12:15 Okay much more.

12:18 Empathetic and I am very much not in a lot of Alex's to stems from how I grew up in my direction to my family and events that happened grown-ups like that. So she's just a machine. That's a nice balance because he feel comfortable telling a little bit about what has happened to your family just broad Strokes between my parents are both. I think I'm divorced when I was 4 and

12:49 For the

12:51 It's best way I can put it is that neither one of them should have had children cuz they're they're both very selfish people for a long time. I had a better relationship with my mom if she got older near two years before she passed away, but my father's always been a selfish man. Very verbally abusive. I mean the sky Grammy from the library.

13:12 When I was 13 because I read too much you need to go outside more not the image that he was wanting a race cars like that and I was a very few intellectual read. I like to listen to learn. He just had no idea how to cope with that kind of

13:33 Child and is not I wasn't the son that he wanted because he wanted to shoot one that shared his own interests and he's very very verbally abusive.

13:48 It's very strange that we both have kind of found a closeness with Starla and our backgrounds are pretty similar. I've had to deal with my parents in the same kind of way of not having lived up to their own image of me or whatever and maybe it's the fact that Starla is very empathetic and then she cares right off the bat and wants everyone to be happy and doesn't have that guarded self that makes us feel good family that cared and you know, like the concept of like college was not something that I even like I didn't even know that I can get a loan to go to school when I was a teenager because

14:37 None of my family. I'm the only person in my family has ever been anywhere Beyond High School. My dad dropped out of high school, and it's just

14:47 Any ambition, I have had anything interesting. I had he was crushed it like it was like oh this is a waste of time that I liked. You know, he had to start working when I was 14 to pay for my ailing close. Everything is good because he finally decided that I wasted too much of his money because I like to draw and I was wasting paper. So he's like, you got to get a job and buy everything on yourself now so he fed me all that stuff, but

15:16 But for the most part you are learning very early to be on your own and that that was the best way to live your life when you know, Starla comes around you finally have somebody who you don't have to live on your own and helps you, you know shoulders that bird in a little bit. So that's why you think that she's rubbed off on you a little bit maybe a little but my perspective and other things definitely has changed like the way I react to certain situations or just the bed since I've met her because

16:03 Understanding it from her own point of view about things as much more open about it.

16:10 Oh, yeah, that's I mean that's an important part of you know, relationships is having that moment of being open and I'm glad that she's been able to do that for you. I have noticed that you are very very protective of her, which is a good thing because I think that she needs protection a lot of the time because she's so

16:33 Giving and caring that some people would take advantage of that people have you know as we both witnessed, so I think that was one of the first times I knew I was like, yeah, he can he can stay because he was willing to your willing to protect her and you don't even against her own kindnesses. You were very protective of her nothing that's really important for her. So how would you just die already said that what does your life look like in 10 years from now?

17:11 He honestly I'd like to talk to her about this because she's very stubborn about going to be selfish and that way and be stubborn so I can Eliquis before her like the future was in my put a lot in thought into your man. Yeah, maybe you're too but I can down now it's for 5 years and travel put it on Italy. She wants to go back to Ireland and a lot of Adventures and I moved out of the apartment in 10 years. Were you able to get everything fixed for that by the way apartment flooded and the Damage our stuff is just a few convenience.

18:11 Oklahoma City, honestly, I don't care. I mean I I don't like Oklahoma City, but the fact matter is wherever she wants to go. That's where I'm going. I don't finish my degree. They get myself some better marketability in side and that other than friends that don't care so much.

18:40 Something I blanked out.

18:44 So I guess this kind of already been answered but my question was how is that how similar or different is Darla to We Are Family.

18:56 Almost everyone in my family has

18:59 I had some kind of ulterior motive in any interaction. They're very selfish people self-centered when most of the family my dad's side is like physically related to use you for whatever they can get out of here. And then you know, that's it. And my mom said the family is all over very self-righteous people with major flaws, obviously and there was in the people like hell, yeah, we miss you we care about you, but then they'd never stick on bajor what you make all the effort and when you're not around and talk down about you things like that, and I just

19:42 Temple years ago, I had very little to do with them cuz my mom lives near her parents, I don't have any ID with my dad's family, but

19:52 I finally decided to stop having to do with them after they chose that my mom cremated against my own. My mom would have wanted that she didn't care but it's a fact that I didn't know about it until I arrive at the funeral and they never told you anything about a ride there and start talking and after that. I just I chose not to have nothing to do with them anymore funeral GRE relationship my older sister. She pretty much just so lost. My mom said where she gets Word cheats.

20:37 Some bridges are better off being burned then maintained you feel better emotionally. Does it bother me like

20:52 I tried to have a little bit of relationship of my father as I got older and I'm going to move past against the anger and bitterness that I had but after a few times I realized I order my family invited and isn't his responses. I go that day off to send me pictures. He did not have that day off and then asked me to send pictures afterwards sounds like suck all of the yeah, it's just me. They want all the things.

21:40 I get that.

21:47 So when you think about 10 years from now, do you think about having children?

21:55 The point like I've never really cared that much and she just now from the school when she was a girl career and wife we talk to me like that. I think we're more focused. Wanted to just enjoy our relationship together. Possible, but I don't think we will.

22:17 And much more about you guys actually finding yourself with each other and enjoying the career. She spent so long trying to build and more cats or cats. So, were you a cat person before Starla at first kind of having a long time because I just didn't feel like my work schedule and I didn't look well, you know, I don't want to neglect it so bad. She talked me into it. I got one in this little short stubby legged little rescue from there. I went through and then she got run ran out from under a table with me and then flopped over and rub your belly next time. I took home your name. What was it was her home? She like freaked out to the store.

23:17 To the a ceiling fan run around like the Tasmanian devil. So I felt as but my ex after the whole incident were I moved out and I was like what I needed to keep her until I get my taxes so I can pay the $100 deposit money and she agreed and then three weeks later. She's like, hey I couldn't do it anymore. I took your cat to the pound.

23:47 And the classes are so

23:50 You weren't able to look she wasn't shipped or anyting.

23:57 I know what time she took her to got you a chance of rain or is she always meow for me in the middle of night. If you could find me I always have to pick her up and carry her out when I get home, which is going to take place very much like the loud house when I come home. He wants me to come over my shoulder and came around for a while and then he's done and I've done it for almost an hour before about my he does like you like just walk on my desk when I'm working you're doing

24:56 I get pictures from Star love you gaming and there's another dual monitors and he's laying in front of the dual monitors and behind the keyboard and just staring at you while you're trying to game so completely over. My my wrist. My mouth is such a wiggle my hand a little bit of stuff happened to me watching TV or some like that but he very much like to hang out with me all day or just walk on just like and just flop right on top of everything.

25:33 Text me like he's made a big impression on you as well. You guys are all just one tight-knit family was fantastic that automatically just synced with you cuz I remember that Starla was saying for the longest time then she wasn't able to find somebody who you know Jazz with Theon as much and then it was like a mediate. That's how she kind of knew in the moments Theon took to you immediately. And that was that was a cute of her that it was, okay.

26:09 Ace try to train me to get him treats me about that. I can't he get he likes to hang out the kitchen Migos in the kitchen is hell real weakling straight up and one day over Christmas break. I got up and he started me on a music composer want me to pick him up. He started walking toward the kitchen frame me to get you food out of the fridge by Sir Sly like that. They think that

26:54 We we think that we're actually the the owners, but in fact we are we are owned by them.

27:06 I kind of ran out of my questions and I'm scared about that way. I don't want to waste any time but specifically with Starla and he can you think of anyone memory that pops out to you of her of funny or sad moments or moments that you could just describe in detail to kind of encapsulate in this interview.

27:38 I don't know sad moments.

27:42 She just We sync so well on so many levels just in terms like that are abused or sense of humor about things. We're both very.

27:53 Grumpy people who don't like crowds

28:02 He's just talking about that before so I can do that. If we didn't we actually like people are around here during Christmas play one of the funniest things that happened remember was like it was last year sometime.

28:22 I knew you were for when she added. I was after she'd moved in before I married and she's super cool all the time and some reason I don't like cold feet in bed and

28:36 I guess I feel you were told you'd like such a nice nice. Yeah, she has Irish comes to my house. I mean I've moved in with Kev 10 Now Kevin what the heck with Ken now, but ever since you whenever she was at my house, I would have like three blankets ready on call and a heating blanket for her as well the kind of bundle her up. She is a burrito burrito.

29:16 Where are we on time?

29:20 10 minutes, okay.

29:23 Hello by myself, I don't know how dare you hang on

29:37 I know I asked you about children, especially when it came to your relationship with your father. How would you see yourself as being a father if you ever did have kids describe yourself as a standoff is person, you know, would that translate to a child who needs to have loved all the time and be reassured?

30:13 And having your own child is different because there's all that you know.

30:21 You're the one.

30:25 Okay. Okay. Do you like any sports you guys have Borderlands 2 the pre sequel? I don't have the pre sequel. I haven't Borderlands 2. Well inevitably I think Ken and I were wanting to try and think up to where we all were a team on there and we would play I don't got you in his mind where he wants us to go. Nice throw up. Let's just be virtual friend and hang out and say she has to study and I'm the one who asked what are you supposed to graduate?

31:22 Sometime around the turn of the century day is 2 days from now but two years haven't eaten in a 2019. I'll finish my associate's okay to go from there. Are you planning on going on for bachelor's I mean, I assume that if you do an associate's then eat those can count toward your Bachelor. So another four years guitar. She prepares you to be ready to start in the workforce and then and I might be able to do my job or against the kind of hands. What I do already viability the marketplace, you know, my next question cuz you know as far as being an English teacher like myself I'd whatever job wherever I can get it.

32:22 You know kind of where I'm at. But with you does your degree allow you for flexibility anywhere, you can work practically anywhere nowadays that you can work remotely as well for just about any company in the country and it's something that you can take anywhere. So

32:54 I'm working on a doctorate and instructional technology. And I know that somebody designed adapt I think two classes but before me and I may have to like come and talk to you about about helping me design app of some sort. But some sort of Education app for my idea was to create like a an RPG for my Ireland trip where they do the Irish Potato Famine instead of the Oregon Trail.

33:31 You have died of starvation over and over again. That's not funny.

33:39 Again with our sense of humor's I think what we all kind of attract dark you.

33:52 I think I asked you. What do you admire most about Starla? What do you admire most?

34:05 Menu, especially with like in terms of career. Just yeah, I think that's what really kind of made an impression on me with her ambition. And the fact that she was working multiple jobs in school full-time for she's very driven driven a lot of any last words about Starla.

34:33 Okay. Well, thank you for your time. I appreciate it.