Ryan Jones and Joseph Jones

00:02 Hi, my name is Ryan Ryan Randall Jones. I am 33 today's date is March 9th 2019. We are in Birmingham and I will be talking to my husband today.

00:19 Hi, I'm Joseph Ryan Jones. I am aged 38 almost 39. My birthday is March 12th. 1980. Today's date is March 9th. 2019 location is Birmingham, Alabama, and I'm speaking with my beautiful wife.

00:38 So

00:40 Are we going to do this? Well, we just start I just want to put it out there with yes. We are both named Brian that's gone by Ryan ever since birth. Basically, we've been together for twelve years. Now. We have two of those here. So I also my nickname when I was growing up was Rye rye and I found out when we started dating that your nickname was also right right and well, I lost that nickname in the battle of wills and with our families so you are now right?

01:26 So here we are talking about ourselves and each other and our lives together 12 years is a long time to be with somebody. It is 12 years. I was 12 years ago. We did the weekend before Saint Patrick's day. We met at a bar that no longer exists called Bailey's newly on the bar scene and you were 27 scandalous.

02:09 But I don't know something clicked and we're still together somehow. I remember seeing you across the bar. The first time I saw you well know I take that back the first time I saw you you were playing pool and I walked up and said hey, can I play Waiting on the table? I thought you were cute and that was it. Right? Basically, I'm a we didn't know that at the time but it was I remember our first date where we also met up there a little bit after I did and I was at the bar and I saw you you walk up to the bar and it was pretty busy at the time and I saw you from across it and you were sitting there and you had your hair short cuz I dread at the time and it was when it was bought it was fun, but it was it was you had it cut short and

03:03 Wow, I'm going to be with that girl. That girl is awesome. And you know, I got you so why are we here today?

03:23 Well, we're telling our stories and I think that is our story together. But you know, we're also individuals and I think that there's a lot we know about each other but there's also a lot that we don't that 12 years of day today living with each other. We know each other very well sometimes better than we know ourselves. But there's also a lot of you know, you just doing the normal day-to-day stuff. There's a lot of questions that we don't really think about for each other. I'm actually having a little bit of deja vu because one of our first times that we hung out we play the game of Twenty Questions. No, I feel like maybe just thinking back on that. We were younger and just getting to know each other and so afraid to kind of ask the the bigger questions.

04:21 I feel like it was a lot of it with a lot of it was very much on the surface, but it's fun to dig into a deeper now. Alright, let's see.

04:38 What start with start with me?

04:43 What has been the biggest change in me that you've seen both a positive and a negative change in last 12 years.

04:56 Well, okay so that there's some big changes that have happened to you over the past 12 years. I think the biggest change is you've become a much more confident person when we first met you didn't you know what you you have more of a sense of

05:13 Both of your it seems like you have both a sense more of a sense of identity and purpose you were very listless when we first met I probably was very much to

05:27 So, you know from sin Seno's.

05:31 You have a job you've been you know, you've been very consistent with how you handle your employment used to not be you were you're in school about to get your about to your in your senior year of of getting your bachelor's degree in computer science. So like I'm super proud of that thinking that you're probably just do it like you're figuring out who you are is probably the biggest change and you know, 12 years is a long time and I'm glad you did.

06:06 Probably negative change you become much for a tight.

06:13 And that's a I mean that's just you know yourself and what you like more more now, but you are a little bit more high-strung than used to be going to school and just trying to keep it all together. It gets crazy sometimes but overwhelming, but I I get over focused on a lot of things sometimes.

06:40 Okay, I feel like I feel like you help like I can totally see my it might have tightness in my this is the structure of this. This is how these needs to go now and I get a lot done that way but I think that I think that you help me to to to loosen that up some I try to let you balance me on that regard. I think I think we do a pretty good job of that of balancing.

07:08 Each other out

07:12 You are more your lot more whatever happens happens. That's about it. And I was very much more of the more focused person. Yeah, and I knew what I wanted to do and it was going on and you were much more the in a lot of weight through reverse. I think I think maybe we've learned different things from be that way in our youth so have tried to like in are changing and growing some different directions from it, but I try to specially you know, when a my mind I know it's really not the end of the world. I try to just let you lead in in more of that that loose way and end.

08:12 Try to let go of things but so I have some questions for you. So there's there's

08:23 There's some things that you know, and I definitely would like to like one of the reasons I wanted to come here today was it's important to me to some kind of story ends, fa

08:39 It's important for me to to contribute to posterity and all that and also I would like the world to know a little bit more about you than than they do because I think you're awesome. So about those things tell me about yourself. Why did you end up in Birmingham and in the past? And what is your favorite thing about this a okay. Well,

09:06 And if the Birmingham when I was 20, I am from a why was originally born in China go but we moved to Centre Alabama when I was eleven and Centre Alabama is about an hour and a half north of here in the middle of nowhere but 9 stop lights 5000 people or something and Tiny Tiny Town people go to school there. They work at factory there. They live there going to get married. They are they died there for them. I'm sure it's great, but it was never ever what I wanted on Century and no sunshine. Yes it Center with an re so

09:49 I was never like, you know, the people around me they thought I was stuck up because I didn't talk like them and I was quiet really fast cuz I'm shy and never really fit in.

10:01 So when I graduated high school and high school to private school and went to college right afterwards because that's what they tell you to do. I was not ready for it is the college in the Asheville North Carolina was not ready for it did not make the grades to keep my full-ride scholarship and ended up having to go back home to Center where did not want to be that was there for a year to Hudson my first jobs. I worked in fast food and I guess what else you going to get and I was dating a guy who lives in Birmingham and you know every other weekend or so, I'd visit him and fell in love with the city and really loved it and I saw a lot in Birmingham that made me think of Asheville.

10:58 I can in Five Points here. There was you know, there were people around playing Bongos and they were little tart shop since you know, and it was it was a place that wanted to express itself and it was just trying to figure out how

11:14 And that was really cool and I wanted to to see how that happened. And one thing that I loved when when we would go out we would go I guess it's 20 59 and there's a part of the highway that as you're going it kind of does that that curve and up and around type thing and we would we would go that way to go out and at night we would come up and around that curve and I would look out the car window and see like just the city lights play down below me and you know, it's a girl from a small Tiny Town. It was beautiful to me. It was so incredible literally every single time Red Mountain Expressway coming up and over. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, and I would look at it the building.

12:14 And just these areas town they had no idea about but I would look at it all and think about you know that the opportunity that was there and everything that I could do if I could just get out of Center and get someplace bigger. And so one day I did I just picked up and left and you know stated it with a friend in Birmingham roomed with him for a few months. So I saved up some money for an apartment and got in and I've been here ever since and I love it and it's a bit different. Of course, then what 20 year old nice hot as but there was also something I saw on it to that. That's City looking for itself and wanting to express itself was definitely there and I've been able to see that happening in a lot of different ways that you've been really neat.

13:12 So that was a part of your question favorite part of Birmingham.

13:22 Want of Birmingham to be something great. So, you know when I was 20 move to Birmingham, that's interesting when I was when I was young when I was 19, I grew up in Hoover so which is a suburb when I when I grow up in Hoover when I came of age we started coming down here and there was a coffee shop called Celestial realm and until we hit that was our spot and Five Points was

14:03 Wisdom a stopping place in town probably knows State there was just barge crowds or every weekend. It was just always super busy and I was interested but I didn't know about that the time that I have since learned is that because at the time basically there was nothing going on in the city at all at night except for in 5 Points out. Now, you wouldn't know it because if you go to 2nd Avenue North or the railroad car for Avondale many numerous other places, you see the city expanding and light being a thriving City again, but at the time if you weren't working downtown, even if you were working downtown, you would only be downtown during the day.

15:03 Just that. The white flight from Birmingham probably like before we were born and then while we were kids meant that my suburb Hooper grew up and became a thing but also admit that there's nothing going on in in the city, right? And so Five Points South and in the South Side area was not where we live today is the was the only place that was actually anything was going on. And so everything was happening in Five Points. It was beautiful and in traffic to me the same way and trapped you with its beauty with its activity.

15:35 And with the top of the world, you know that drive up and and kind of a Lover's Lane type thing, but drive up and see the whole city. It is speaking of you when you were younger 18. And first of all, I think we could have been like really good friends if we were both the same age at the same time, but what would you do if it if there was a time machine?

16:14 Two things

16:16 What would you tell your 18 year old self? And what would your 18 year old self for 14 year old South teenage self think of you now if they met you in that moment, what would be going on in both of your minds time machine myself? Right. Well, I'm sure no one has my father's old is just not the way it's not a place to go. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about the past funny from somebody really enjoyed.

17:04 I would tell him my fourteen-year-old retrieve my teenage self. So probably think that that I sold out and I didn't didn't didn't accomplish my dreams. However, they also be like really happy because I found you which one is been pretty awesome.

17:30 I was a romantic when I was down and I always wanted to find you beautiful princess and I'm madly in love with her and and that happened. It just didn't happen in the timetable timetable that I had originally thought. It would I don't know if anything does I would tell my younger self.

17:52 Well, that one thing that we talked about earlier that I can't say online on the air. Be careful who you sleep with is the best way to say it be careful with who you give your heart to it's those relationships are not worth it. My mom my mom actually hasn't I forget who she said told her. This was the grandmother or random old lady one day. I don't remember but she's always said

18:26 Be careful who you date? Cuz you never know who you'll fall in love with what temp what do you must embarrassed about and would embarrass is you and general in general. I over-analyze like every single social situation except for a few, you know, there's those friends that you actually really just feel like their family and you can go in their house and just like go to the cabinets and get a glass of water or whatever state that doesn't bother me because I just know that they have to love me but a lot of other situations I have ran as like as I'm talking to someone

19:17 You know, did I did I say the right thing? You know when when I when I got you know, I'm fine and I'm okay job old up and I said I'm 5K, you know, did I just look dumb and you know when?

19:40 And here you were saying that I had a lot of confidence and I do I do a socially I get into my own head a lot and end up embarrassing myself. I think to myself. I don't know if I'm that it's actually embarrassing myself to others but in my own head, I'm I'm embarrassing myself sometime. I would definitely say that you are not as embarrassing as you think you are and you definitely have more confidence than you use and don't sweat the small stuff. Right? I try. I mean, I think I think it's a start at least knowing or having the idea that it's probably all in my head.

20:28 And then I can kind of just try to push it away. But but yeah, but I still I still think about you know something I said to someone the other day or you know, did I have like one too many drinks the other night and say something stupid or you know, just just think about those things a lot. I mean I try not to think about but okay, so

20:58 What about

21:03 Okay, so let's let's

21:06 Maybe not so much like embarrassing things, but

21:12 What's your favorite memory of your family either like a loved one that who's your favorite relative? What's your favorite memory with a relative?

21:25 Well, she is no longer with us. It's been a long time though. My mimo I think was the best family member never had she is my dad's mother my parents divorced when I was about seven and he lived with her for a while. So even before my parents divorced she was you know at the house a lot of helping take care of me and my sister my sister four and a half years younger than I am, you know coming over and how you doing yard work taking us to school and then when my parents divorced she's doing that a bit more trying to help my mom out, but I spent a lot of time with her when I was a kid, but she

22:19 She is it was the most giving loving person I've ever met. She she basically like she spent her whole life getting the others before I was born. She was always a I-PASS.

22:42 God maybe 2010 or so.

22:46 2010/2011

22:50 Show us a was a foster mother before I was born her and my papa had foster kids together and take it one point. I had like 20 and I have this giant house it all get together, you know, as well as my you know, my father and his brother. They had two kids their own. They also fostered a for very long time and end when when I was a kid to she was still you know my past when I was one, but she kept up being a foster parent still even then and she only had about two or three at a time then but but she you know in her old age that up and so I always had siblings does your mother have them?

23:40 My mother and I don't think she ever really saw it as that cuz by the time you know, she married my dad, you know, he was out of the house and like they they had this foster kids. They weren't they were children, you know the Foster cuz they had and they really saw them as you know, their foster kids rather than you know, I think siblings. Yeah, but and my dad have been out of the house for a long time when they married but I actually, you know, I felt a different times like I had something Brothers she there with the word that were to actually I still remember their names Paul and Jimmy are the two that she had when I was I was a kid when they were 18 moved out of the house, then she didn't have any more foster kids after that. She was already older by then, but it wasn't just the foster kids she was constantly doing

24:40 Things for others there was a woman named Rebecca who was blind and lived in the projects in Chattanooga and she would bring her she would do her grocery shopping to read laundry bring it all to her and she would take me along if she took me everywhere with her. So I got to see all of these people she reached out to and helped on like a daily basis every single day and an end and meet a lot of these people, you know, and so I got to know so many different people in so many different kind of situations even as a kid thing that you or a family member no was the coolest thing that a family member of yours has done like the most awesome thing.

25:27 First thing that comes to mind my my dad was in.

25:35 Was in the military and I don't remember what am I live in Desert Storm? But he was in the Air Force and he was a part of like they did the planes that like if the jet fuel to the other planes look so they're flying in the air. Yeah. I know. That's right.

26:05 So I thought I was going to need I have a question for you.

26:13 And it's kind of a fun one.

26:16 If you had to live without one of the three, what would it be music ice cream or books ice cream ice cream ice cream your peanut butter chocolate ice cream.

26:37 Well, you know what ice cream music or books I could maybe choose books as long as we can scan everything put it online.

26:48 Okay. Alright, but really it has to work around in its then it's books cuz you have you can have right electronic stuff. But but if that's not an option, then totally ask her I'd much rather have the books that is way more important. I like that that you do love books just as much as I do have a giant Library someday.

27:17 Okay, so, let's see. What's your favorite joke?

27:25 There's lots of jokes being blind Heard. Lots of blonde jokes growing up. Was that something about was that insulting? I was I was always really good at laughing at myself. So I left now they're there for their good. You'll hear a dirty joke. I don't know if I can say it on the radio.

27:58 White Horse fell in the mud

28:02 Who is an XP?

28:06 All right.

28:08 Do you have any superstitions?

28:13 Know well and not really I'm

28:19 Know I I I don't really have any real Superstition steer. And I think it's just kind of made up but I think it's important in when when you have an important life event be it good or bad that some sort of important pivotal moment. It's important to have a taste of whiskey. You don't like a drink drink but a taste of whiskey on your tongue is important when we used to smoke close. That's the first thing that I was horrible, but I would always have a clue whenever I started a long distance trip. So whenever I like we were driving cross-country or Young on vacation or something with friends, I would always do that as a first thing so, I guess that counts

29:09 I think I think the whiskey it's likely that Bittersweet it is such sharpness that kind of brings you into reality and I think it's bad luck not to and I try to share that with others to their going through a big thing. I say here have some whiskey

29:29 Okay.

29:33 Any other questions for me?

29:36 I know well, of course I do but we probably have the rest of our lives for a lot of those questions like

29:47 What did you learn today? Okay, so that's an important question. So this is that this actually an interesting story.

29:56 Years ago the two of us started the process of saying what did you learn today? And that might be the most important thing that I

30:07 Single thing that we've done in our relationship is is every day we try and at least remember something that we've learned because there's so much that we do everyday and so today, what did I learn today? I

30:30 I remembered how to breathe sort of having a bad cough. I've been having a bad cough and so it's difficult to breathe. So that's been something that has been really nice. Really. Like, what did you learn today?

30:51 So I've been reading about some D&D stuff. And so there's some new stuff out and I was I was learning about it and it's the artificer class and you can head and I can go and that's about it later. But basically just some gaming stuff.

31:12 I think the most important thing that I've learned recently was.

31:17 Oh, this is a great one, Ryan.

31:21 Okay, so long ago the

31:28 The body of Alexander the Great was on when he died. He was taken his his his funeral procession procession was taken from was on his way back to Macedon and telling me who ruled Egypt at the time one of his generals sent his army to go steal Alexander's body. Right and he brought it back to Alexandria Whitten wouldn't and then there's lots of riots and stuff and one of those rights was in Alexandria and they thought that his body and Muslim was destroyed by that time. However prior to it being put into the Muslim it was in had been put into the tomb of an old cigar.

32:28 Because of a pharaoh and and people believe that it had been put back into that body but apparently keeping from the caretakers of his mother so which is the the they were trying to become more game more legitimacy. And so they stole the body of Saint Mark from Alexandria and they stole it by stealing the sarcophagus with it. This will the body out of the sarcophagus the same sarcophagus that I was injured body up and put in millenia prior. So theoretically the body of Alexandria is either dead or or or it is now in Venice on display or that steamer.

33:26 I didn't see the what did you learn today is really important cuz it keeps us talking to each other and keep is having fresh conversation and it it makes things. What did you learn today? And I'm not sure how much time we have. I am in school.

33:50 I actually I am in school for computer science and have been working in a coop doing basically software testing and I have learned so much in the last two months just in that alone. And I think I've tried to explain some of it to you. I've also learned in that that even though I'm really excited about learning about a lot of it. I can try to tell people and they have no they just they just look at me blankly and smiling. So I've been trying to learn how to talk about the things I'm doing and people understand me so that's that's been fun.

34:33 But we both have a lot to learn and a lot of forward to go. Look forward to to learn that with you. I love you very much and I'm proud of it what you've become the person you become and thank you for doing this with me. I love you and I am

34:53 Proud of what we've become and I'm very proud of you as an amazing. Wonderful man who is intelligent and keeps me going forward and keeps me chill.

35:09 And I look forward for more of this adventure together.