SusanRobin Schneider and Nalani Saito

00:06 I'm Susan twin to Robin Schneider and when my twin sister was living I would say my age but I might try to stop that when she passed away. So we were 56 when she died people ask Malaysian. The first thing I say is 56. I think I won't go I'm not I'm 62 now, but if it's not official, I just leave it. I don't deliberately lie about my age today is Wednesday, July 24th, and I'm in Columbus and I'm speaking with Alani of storycorps. My name is nalani Saito. I am 24 years old. Today is Wednesday, July 24th. We are in Columbus Ohio. The name of my interview partner is Susan and we are new friends.

00:51 We grew up in Bowling Green Ohio in a small town Mom and Dad lap launched for children. We have two younger brothers. Three years younger and Scotty is 11 years younger than us that you shine. Mom and dad said they had a caboose. Scotty said they kept trying till I got it, right they launch for kids out of an intact loving home and the biggest gift that our parents gave us was roots and wings. I've learned eating other people that not everybody was fortunate enough to have someone always in their Corner our parents. Let us fail on the way to success but always let us know that they had our backs and were there for us mom and dad were high school sweethearts and they were totally in love and each other's best friends. And I think that my sister and I ended up married to our business twin Horizons travel agency and our one brother was an English teacher got divorced.

01:51 Lucci who I do work for Resort and I are in the middle child our other brother met his current wife and coping with divorce class after a first brief marriage because I think we all live with Mom and Dad had they were really really really well suited and love and I worked out very well for that. My mother was an only child. My dad was the youngest of three and in many ways. They were pretty opposite. My dad was right easygoing. I think that well, I'm sure that my dad was an undiagnosed undiagnosed dyslexic back 80 years ago. They didn't look at this Lexia and if you listen to my Dad read you could understand. My mother was a voracious reader and the four of us became for it's just readers. That was a good Storyteller, but she was an only child and her parents loved her dearly but they expected Perfection and as she tried to try to do that.

02:50 My grandparents were self-made. My grandfather's about self-made men my paternal grandfather started out. They both Remembered in the depression leaving a school in the eighth grade helps with family and one of my grandmother's grandfather. I remember him telling us he remember looking in the window watching people eat dinner being hungry and my paternal grandfather Papa life and criminal Papa life was I am torn die maker and when we knew him as we had grown up, he was CEO of Toledo stamping. So he worked his way up. We got to take the the plane the company plane to Cincinnati and he would take that in Scott to the Ballgame after the business and grandma would take Robin and I are shopping our brothers and Robin was my twin and then my other grandfather was a butcher Grandma charm Papa Tom on the maternal side and

03:50 Cheap noticed that there was no school for 4 for me Cutters. So he went to all the major companies armor and all the big meat companies and said he would like to start when will they back him? And they all said that's a really bad idea everybody learns by apprenticing so he decided to open the national school of meat cutting in Toledo, Ohio. It was quite successful. He had people coming Little Ray from all over the world after World War II to train their there are books in 40 Languages by my grandfather all about me cutting and actually my sister and I have one that is in Japanese, but it's it's all pictures of me and it was the national school of meat cutting cars marketed flourished 4 years since Papa's retired and sold it and then it sort of died because now I guess they present in the grocery stores or something. But anyway it was and actually it was it went really well. My my grandmother said your grandfather believed in fresh food.

04:50 WowWee when he he was telling the gentleman that he didn't want to invest in his company that he believes in fresh not frozen food. He said to mr. Bird's-eye so they missed that opportunity Birds Eye Frozen Foods. My mom was the you know, I coddled child and my grandfather's neither one of them drink cuz their father has been alcoholics, but my my dad's father as he grew up going up the ladder and they in the company became less his language came left less rough. My mom's mother of my mom's father occasionally lapsed into a little bit of adorable swearing. So anyway, when my mother is not eight years old the family story is that they met them do Lutheran Minister and here's my mother and patent leather shoes and pigtails a darling little child obviously doted on and the minister look down and said and what does your father do for a living little girl?

05:50 And she said he runs a goddamn butcher shop. Ask. My grandmother was floored I should have but anyway, my dad on the other hand was very very outgoing and mom was a little more reserved. I think our brother Doug the one three years younger takes after her and Scotty are baby brother has more of a dad and him at as did Robin and and my my dad was when he was chairman of the chamber president Chamber of Commerce of Bowling Green small University town south of Toledo, Ohio. One of his good friends ran for governor. Child's car seat is a lawyer in Bowling Green and my dad or do something this way. Well, all politicians are crooked the check CARFAX is less crooked than most and Mister carpis it well. Thank you Bob. I've never really had an introduction that way our parents by the way. We're Robert and Suzanne and Robin and Susan we were the oldest we were kind and

06:50 After then the story was like one of my friends said that we had kind of like twinergy. Our parents were asked who's the dominant twin and they would say they both are which was really true. We both had strong personalities made for a lot of arguments. Are they give us a tandem bicycle when we were growing up once and we just couldn't ride it because if you ever to attend an icicle melts of the person on the back has no control on win like that. So we gave that to Mom and Dad mom was okay with it, and we went back to Ashwin twins where we can each rider on Bike.

07:28 The joke was that Doug and Scott didn't talk until Robin and Susan left for college, but even Doug and Scott will tell you that's not true. I guess we struck an early blow for feminism not even knowing it. But we like the cold weather and when we were in I think 6th or 7th grade recess we would play with the dolls and stuff for a while. We had complete sets and Barbies and complete sets of Nancy Drew Mysteries. I love those but we might be outside and kind of run off some more energy. So we went out where the boys were playing snowball fights and and we start our own snow for God bless Fredo be he stuck up for us that dinner we could girls could could do snow and some of the girls come out with us too. So we would spend one recess in the morning playing with the dolls. And that's our thing in the afternoon recess. We got to go out and we had a snow fort against two other snow Fort Smith Man by all boys. So that was not stress I think in early

08:29 Our dad and mom both said you should do what you love to do. And so my sister I ended up being travel agents eventually only twin Horizons travel brother who is 3 years younger the Stanford MBA, which is quite a credential and he is a CEO of a medical software company. He's a tremendous negotiator and he can sort of

08:57 That consensus Builder, but he also can make the hard decisions are baby brother was a teacher he would go to class dress like William Shakespeare. He was a fabulous English teacher and the world has lost a great English teacher when he went through his divorce because he was offered job on the big island of Hawaii. And he now has it worked out that he works at a resort and is you know, he's the youngest he has a type a brother and had to type a sisters and he's type-c. Perfect for the Aloha spirit. I think you said you grew up in Hawaii, right? You know that so

09:31 Our parents do also

09:37 They raised us to be empathetic. No sympathy is when you feel badly for someone but empathy is when you feel what they're you feel their pain and one of our parents friends that you have for the most empathetic children that I have ever known. So my twin sister and I were a little bit disgruntled for one homecoming because both of her boyfriends were working the pizza place. So we had to go to the homecoming dance alone. I think Mom had this she had on reserve I think the article shade Rhett we were preemies. We were born in Toledo, Ohio and we put in an incubator. She had an article. Whip it out when we are complaining about the homecoming dance and said that it said they were twins are also identical like us born in Detroit about 45 minutes away the same month we were born and they were put in incubators, but at the time they didn't know that if such oxygen levels too high in the incubator, it would blind you and they were born cited it ended up blind.

10:37 Play Montreal born 45 minutes away. Is that kind of put not having dates for the homecoming in perspective and she knew it would my dad believes that making a living is not a life. He loved what he did. He had Bob titles Cadillac he was a car guy and and you would go anyplace past any home in BG and he would tell you who was there by the cars they could do it. Probably Toledo to he got the Indianapolis Star every month in May Before the Race and he went that he went to the the Indianapolis 500.

11:16 Robin and I went to different colleges love that because we had a different perspective on what it was like to be twins and to be a Singleton and by the way, our parents raised us as Robin Susan Duncan Scott, they did not raise us at the twins in the Singleton swear. She's really good on their part. I'm sorry. What do you mean by Singleton's? I haven't heard that phrase before. I'm not an on twin twin culture. We said it was our accident of birth, but we marketed it shamelessly when we open twin Horizons travel. If you saw the two of us, we did the rubber chicken circuit and if you saw the two of us talking to a Service Group,

11:54 Dressed alike, which we did when we did our speaking engagements and we love to talk about travel. You better be able to find twin Horizons. If you were looking for a travel agent OSU, which is the NPR station here in Columbus for 22 years on their open Line program. It was alive 90-minute calling program every week travel talk with the twins. So we kind of got to be big fish in a small pond.

12:20 When we decided we wanted to be in Foreign Service, so we were double Majors English creative writing and political science diplomacy. So we carry full client loads and full social act in that cause I don't even know how we did it but we found out they had that be good at the language and we struggled with French and so Foreign Service probably wasn't the way to go our mom another and read another article in some magazine that said that twins who had their own language when they were babies struggle is language. Well, we said to Mom that's not us and she said, oh it was apparently we were being baptized. We were carrying on a conversation with each other and it was recognizable to our family that we were communicating. I wish we'd remember did women's fun to have her butt. So I guess at how about being a traveler and it weird that I did and I got to say we had we start just Robin and I to Bar desk into computers in one room 10 years into our business we had

13:20 In the black every month cuz we were very careful we had

13:26 6 employees and we carry for client loads. My dad has some business. He said girls your customers come first your employees come second and you come third you run your business that way and you'll be successful and we said it so often that our staff at Twin Horizons had put on T-shirts and gave it to you, but he was right. He also said you can work 40 hours a week for somebody else or 80 hours a week for yourself and he was right about that too, but we care for client loads as I said and we also did agents are owner stuff off hours 10 years and her business was 9/11 travel stopped those planes hit those two hours and we saw her first ready and we decided the only fair thing to do was to not lay someone off cuz she's not get a job by youngest I would not get a job. So I will tighten their belts we cut the salaries by 30% for everybody will offer employees will put their husbands or their boyfriends my sister and I had to income household with a condo condo.

14:26 This is so it was tight and everybody but we came back we came around back and didn't mention that when we were in our first trip abroad because my parents believed especially dad and mom as well see the us so we got to see a lot of car trips and we got to ride the train and as Amtrak and so forth, but our first trip abroad was between a Junior and senior years in high school Ventura France and we had a blast to 1000 students went over on a ship to add Robin and I did got into doing a newspaper and we did with a cow from Springfield, Illinois and the second day we published an article and you would think they would know that we were teasing when we said everybody put on their life jackets and report to the muster stations. It was in the humor column. We got a little bit of trouble for that does not everybody got that. It was just a joke how we got in less trouble than the girl who was from a Catholic School.

15:26 Her shopping with a nun and she was caught in the crew quarters. So she was sent home the minute. We had a harsh. She didn't even get to say anything and we did things like in the dorm. So we empty our purses purses and we kind of organized a bunch of kids to go into the right past the chaperones walk into the kitchen. We put trays of ice cream in our purses and walk back to the dorms. We didn't think about how we're going to eat it. No spoon. So we use deodorant caps, but and then we were with a guy through dating who are from Montana and we went to the gallery gallery Lafayette a big department store in Paris, and we were there to learn French some of the people were there just have fun. We were there a fun too, but also to learn French but get a better friend. So the clerk said to us sizes. Do you speak English and we were start second speaking English. So we said no Newsome solemani or German? Well, we have a German last name, but we don't know where tournament and of course the clerk start speaking fluent German in the guys were crap.

16:26 And we had to admit that we would wait spell pictures of store clerk in France and she speaks French English and German and as travel agents. We had that later we watch into a tea room in Tokyo and we were dressed in red knit dresses with black and sets we were taking a tour. So instead of holding up a flag. We just had to look for the twins dressed alike as we watching to this tea room. And because you weren't answering jeans, I guess she didn't think we were American so she started talking to us in French and we replied in French and she meet Lee switch to English. So here's a waitress in a tea room in Tokyo. She speaks English French and Japanese, of course, so we learned that the linguistic skills in the United States could use some work. Anyway, I travel agents we went to London. This was key cards were just getting in use. I'm sorry. I had to clarify you traveled with people as travel agents. Well, we did take some tours at the end of the

17:25 REI are agencies tenure. We took culinary cruises and tours that was specialized only twin Horizons, cuz the internet was coming in but we've mostly put together individual vacations and did corporate travel first of her businesses. So we were in London our first time by ourselves and we just gotten off the plane overnight transatlantic flight and was showered and they upgraded to a suite and we were excited about that. So we were in these sheer nighties and we're taking pictures and we went out to the other there's a wolf weigh in the front of it. Isn't that we had a entryway so and the door closed behind us and it locked and here we are in sheer nightcats and we couldn't get him a in the floor because they don't go to store sweet. So the one person open the door, it was a delightful people from and an Arabian country and their women were covered from head to toe with just you could just see their eyes and when would they let us in makes my we had to make a call but there was a little bit of a language barrier and I think they were one.

18:25 Weather. You know, whether the hotel at set up some some gals and sheer nightgowns. We're just trying to make the call get out of there. And we said specifically please send a woman to you know about woman. So this teenage boy, cracking up and rest of our stay every time he saw us he would look us us and start laughing, you know, and we were there a couple days then to top it all off. We got the phone bill for the people who have been gracious enough to let us call the front desk. We got a bill that was more than the cost of our hotel stay for phone calls to Riyadh Saudi Arabia. Now, of course, she straightened out we didn't have to pay it but it was so we had but we had some really fun that sings. One of our favorite places was Bruges Belgium. We had just met two guys that own a bookstore in London. So Stewart and Breton Rob and I went out to watch there's a Carilion in the main square of Bruges.

19:21 It has a kind of medieval brick structure like with a crown on top and certain types of the week. They have someone in there playing carols and it was a Wednesday evening Star Wars setting we were setting in Outdoor Cafe and Robin. I had hot chocolate. So it was in the fall student has something some alcohol drink. I don't know and we had just met and we were talking about shared interests and then they start playing carols and the sun was setting it was one of those things that

19:54 You know what?

19:56 It's sort of like the fellman of a dream. You didn't know you had because it was just the perfect time in the perfect place and ever the Stars aligned and it was one of my Fondest Memories.

20:09 With learnt win in every language because people would say when you travel we noticed that people would say was that your dog is they like pets that like children house or kid or are you twins? So, you know, we knew a photographer in Japanese for Bell and France twilling Garden in Norwegian. I mean every country and when you heard the word and you knew that they were talking about you and you can say your we would try and a little bit of everything we went to a few or to Norway and there's a restaurant the top of the Fjord and you watch the boats come in. It is a fabulous experience our Taxi Driver spoke six languages and we said to him while you speak six languages and he said well who speaks Norwegian? We have a lot of tourists, but it was we really had a lovely time we went to travel conference once and we paced each other and we have long legs and had long legs and we would when we had to get somewhere.

21:09 We would move in unison and one of our friends called out. Hey there goes Susan Robbins flying low cuz I guess we were making tracks but we decided that when we opened our own business men and business require businesses require a lot of care and feeding and the relationships we had which world war with Workaholics kind of died cuz the guys can handle that weigh in weed in Workaholics managing agencies to but I mean, we were married to the business we decide we're going to slay your own dragons.

21:42 And then one day I Dragon came along we couldn't play we never sick a day in our lives are brothers Duncan Scott had allergies and ask Miss which they outgrew when they were in their teens, but we're never miss enesco. We never missed a work and we were told on her birthday that Robin didn't have a tummy ache. She had stage 3 ovarian cancer and had metastasized. Where do the James Cancer Center here in Columbus? And then Cleveland Clinic and ended up with a specialist at MD Anderson.

22:12 And the heart-wrenching thing they told us and is the biggest regret of my life is if there's a blood test to ca-125 blood-test with identical twins. If we had had that blood test without question to board certified gynecologic oncologist tells us the MD Anderson will Romulus the living we would have been caught in stage one with 90% curable with a hysterectomy. And here's the thing every year in January birthdays in February. We had complete physicals with blood work and we told them the doctors we had or a gynecologist and a GP and we told them susanrobin whenever e Baseline test and we thought we had every Baseline testing they did blood work. They check for diabetes which runs in our family which we never had that they gave us bone bone marrow density test as we got older bone density test. We are fine. We have mammograms the timer 40 and call Nazis the timer 50 and we thought you did everything right?

23:08 Are Brothers CEO of medical software company has wife is really into Wellness. She's a disciple of Andrea while she swears by for acupuncturist in and so forth and we thought we knew everything we need to know and since Robin has passed away. I found out I talk to every major Cancer Center in the country Sloan-Kettering John Hopkins Dana-Farber and they all said the same thing with identical twins. Have we had a ca-125 blood-test a $75 blood test. It's been around for 30 years, but it's not standard of care. They would have said, oh it's a number and they would have said Susan's 37 and Robbins 400. And without question. She would have been caught in stage 1 Words 90% curable of hysterectomy. I lost the one life that meant more to me than my own my turtle best friend because we were not told about this test.

24:01 It's sort of their side Native American saying I knew some day that I would go down this path, but I didn't know yesterday that would be today but everybody knows I going to die, but we were middle-aged literally our grandparents are paternal grandparents live into their eighties or maternal grandparents moved into their 90s, and we were literally middle-aged and it was not something that we eat anticipator look for

24:32 You have a handful of Soul deep friends that you can be with whoever you want to be with until everything and we had that are very best friend from high school. Jessica has two older sisters. So she got being best friends of twins Anita Chris was our kind of right hand at the travel agency. I'm she and her husband were just like family. So it's not like I didn't have a support system but it was it was really tough. We went into the hospital the day after Labor Day. It was living at 2 months with the time gnosis and we fought really hard and she was getting your treatment to MD Anderson, but there's a there's a

25:16 Connection with Riverside Hospital hair, so she was getting her chemo those two there and following the prognosis that we got at the other place and

25:26 And we went into Riverside the day after Labor Day and I said put it back to me. She was said the same thing and they talked about a little and then decided it would be you know, and now I remember we're both strong personalities that there was not a dominant twin and and they were gracious. I didn't leave the hospital and we went to the residential hospice for 3 days at the end of her life and they withhold treatment when you're in the hospice, so she was going in and out of Consciousness. It was hard for me, but I realized it was easier for her.

26:00 And she died on 20th September our dad died on the 30th of November the following year two weeks prior there fishing lights wedding anniversary. My mom had him home 11 years with Alzheimer's and and they were had a Christmas wedding. And so it was a lot of lost in a row. He was also at the restaurant or hospice. I was there with him and Mom and a couple months ago. I came from the residential hospice with Mom. She was that she got cancer and I was there she was at home hospice for 18 months and I was their primary caregiver. Although I did have respite care a so are we ended her life at that that that it's a lovely place but they don't give frequent stay miles like hotels in the next time I go there I better be for me, but but it is a lovely place the day we went into we had we kind of had a presbyterian but we tend to Presbyterian church, but we can't handle pasta God philosophy. So

27:00 All of our clients and friends are pink for Robin and be in the travel business literally every religion when Robin died in the juje tradition you plant a tree in Israel some of our clients plan of trees in Israel for her. We have Catholic clients that it's really interesting. They paid a monastery in in Central Europe. I believe in my people and where they will pray for you interpret for 2:30. So I guess that's costly but they are praying for her to perpetuity Federico who is a really good private guide enrollment be used to model the time every time he goes to the Vatican. He lights a candle for he was robbed and then Robin and dad and I Robin Dad and Mom and I have offered to pay for them cuz I know it cost. I think he takes it out of my commission, but that's okay. I just know that he's done enough, but

27:49 Growing up the way, we didn't I always had the feeling and Robin tutu that God was there that in the background, I mean there's you felt like you were in the the palm of God's hand or something like that. I mean, we had a loving family and and the day we went to the hospice that vanished has not come back my friends who have a face say that though. It's just temporary and then come back I if it hasn't come back by now. I don't know I believe in God I pray to God but I tell my friends I will pray for you, but I'm not sure how much weight my press. How about the Almighty? I just sort of feel like I believe in God, but God does not believe in me anymore, or at least I'm off God's radar screen, you know, whether I say that the Lord thinks of everybody knows everyone personally. I felt that until we went to the hospice and I haven't since and I guess I'll find out when I get to her.

28:49 I believe my parents my parents and my sister have an existence by the way. If you're a person of Faith, you can call it Paradise like I do if you're a person that of science or something called a parallel universe. I don't care what you call it, but my sister exists and I actually joined a twinless twins is organizations. It's a twinless twins. We have an annual international meeting Rachel I is a great support group and some of the people there don't have any

29:20 As backup at all like I'm fortunate enough that I did.

29:27 It's like what I got as a twinless twins, basically a couple of really good important things I go there and I see kids who lost their twin as teenagers children or even in utero and I think shut up Susan you and Robin had 56 years don't complain all the way to talk to a guy was there with his wife and his brother's wife. He was 75. His brother had died the year before and he said it still wasn't enough time 74 years and I get it. But I also and then we have some you know, some models and one of them is You Are Not Alone which I believe in healing by helping others. I am telling you the Lonnie I really get that feeling but helping others. I host a regional one day conference of Columbus in the fall because I was our favorite season. That's when she died and I pick the day that Ohio State doesn't have a football game. So people will come

30:26 It's the day she died. I tried to go with her and I don't apologize for that. I think you have to understand. If you don't. You're not worth my time. Our friend certainly said susanrobin got there and pushed you back. Then. We do have a high rate of suicide of the surviving twins. One of our things is you are not alone. And another one of us thinks his once a twin I said twin girls at the twinless twin can get that that's a lot harder for we identicals because all my life people said to me. Are you Susan to Robin in the last few years? Nobody has said that to me I did however besides going to be here. I am impatient by super the cancer hospital here. I don't think happiness is at least not the wonderful happiness that we had. All our lives is in the cards for me any longer, but I can have a purpose I can live and have a purpose. It's like George Bernard Shaw said in this play major Barbara, you've learned something that always feels it forces if you've lost something but it doesn't mean that I can.

31:26 And I know Rob Schneider always quoting poet some stuff at Oliver Wendell Holmes said I'll ask for those who never sing and die with all their music in them. And I'm determined that Robbins musical continue my two younger brothers my sister-in-law and I now that I have finished caregiving our parents and by the way, Mom and Dad it was their time they were both in pain. They're both ready to go. I will not understand why my sister was taken till I get there. Although the Far Eastern religions believe that you keep being reincarnated. I think specially Buddhism if I'm not until you are the best self. So maybe she was a little bit better A lot further along on that trajectory than I was I do know that the Christians so I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this but I tell the twins twins that I encounter at the conference's is there thinking contemplating suicide, you know, they believe the twins souls are travel together throughout eternity that they're reincarnated as may be husband and wife.

32:26 Best friends and so if you do is give me a link to your twins for the rest of of your life through this life. And then I think someday someday people will say

32:40 There goes Susan and Robin flying low. I think that's going to happen when she died though. I felt like him and Yates said his poem Second Coming Things Fall Apart. The center will not hold and everything seemed to be just right one of the things I thought of when I tried to go with her is that of course, I'd survivor's guilt but but I thought there was a movie Robin and Marian and the screenwriters had a merry and they were older and Mary was played by Audrey Hepburn and Sean Connery played Robin Hood and they were at the end of their lives and she saw that he was in pain and so she gave them both poisoned and he said why did you do that fudge take yourself? And she said because I love you more than one more day and that screenwriter also gave us a gift because that's the way I felt about my sister actually Joan Didion quoted that in her book year of magical thinking her husband used to say that to her daughter. But at like I said at my dad's funeral

33:40 Chief Seattle of the Iroquois said There Is No Death. We just change worlds and I'm counting on that and and one of the things when I sent people we have our logo are twinless twins logo and I had it made into our Jeweler didn't silver and I always put in a quote. This is not a result of Courage doesn't always Roar sometimes courage is the small quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow and I've had a lot of comments on that I sent these logo of penance all around the world and to all 50 states and every time I send one I'm sending it to a twin who lost his or her twin but you know what one of the twins gave me a gift and he is we were unlikely, you know, because Rainbow Coalition of people you'd ever meet and

34:39 He was an artist Michael twin to Joseph. I'm Susan twin to Robin and he was half my age. I could have been his mother tattooed long hair which was fine. You can watch a little more which I told him but he said I said, I just can't get into being so might want to think of some way to think of a romantic connotation like our parents. They were each other's soulmates, but it was more than you know a sister and he thought he said Susan what about spirit makes and so she was my spirit. I really like that. I said, thank you Michael. I will always remember that and I I try and give back by talking to the twins that are self isolating and saying, you know, the day Robin died. I tried to go with her but my friends and family sets his and she got there and pushed you back and she did so I could help my mom with my dad's transition to the next life and then my mom my mom said to me once Susan it should have been me instead of Robin when she was ill and I said, oh no I said,

35:37 Robin and Dad have a better a rated existence mom and you're going to get there first. I really didn't believe that it should have been a trade-off but I was I was relieved for my parents when they passed away and I'm going to take the rest of my journey by myself are brothers and my sister-in-law has been fabulous and our friends are supportive but it is there is a never to be filled hole, but you can do it. Like I said with a purpose you can keep going and you watching a couple years my sister-in-law my two brothers and I are going to get a public service announcement by a celebrity talking about the diagnostics for ovarian cancer, and that will be my sister's Legacy.