Kevin Gallagher and Stacy Smith

00:05 Hi, I am Stacy Smith the Reverend. Dr. Stacy Carroll Smith. I am 39 years old as of 4 days ago. It is Saturday September 21st, 2019. We are in Memphis, Tennessee and I am interviewing Kevin Andrew Gallagher. Who is my husband.

00:30 Your turn. Thank you.

00:34 Has Stacey said Kevin Gallagher? I will be 49. This is Saturday, September 21st, 2019. We are in Memphis, Tennessee in a Airstream trailer.

00:52 I'm being interviewed by my wife and I'm looking forward to this date.

01:02 Cruise Terminal B 49 and a half to do the math on this 1971. I'm not real sure where it all began.

01:13 All right. Well, the reason why we decided to well I signed us up to do this interview with you at this time is number one because there was opportunity here in Memphis and number two because

01:32 There is a chance of a good chance maybe if probable chance that we won't have too many opportunities like this to sit down and talk about things that are important going forward in the future and

01:54 Yeah, you're not so long ago. I was diagnosed with glioblastoma and they gave me about 12 months as a prognosis is going to get some stuff out of the way and make sure I'm going to leave a few messages or answer a few questions while it's okay. Now. I'm not one to usually play by the rules. So I doubt it will be 12 months could be 12 days could be 12 years, but either way I got planned.

02:28 And one of your dreams has always been to be interviewed by Terry Gross on fresh air. So this is as close as we might get unless she decides to pick this up. I don't know how do you know a fox during two?

02:46 So, yes, you have a glioblastoma. It is a stage 4 brain tumor. It is an aggressive mean old brain tumor that we've been dealing with for the last

03:01 4 years

03:06 Tell me tell me about that. Tell me about what the last 4 years have been like in in trying to make sense of this thing in your brain. Well, it didn't start necessarily with a glioblastoma. So about four years ago. I woke up in the middle of the night. It was a Sunday morning how well so about 3 Sunday morning and I had this terrible taste in my mouth and smell and I got some water or something to just wouldn't go away. So I woke you up and tell her I think something's wrong. Maybe we need to go to the ER.

03:50 That's really about the last I remember according to you. I had a seizure went to the hospital. So that was Sunday. I begin I remember some flashes of Tuesday and a good part of Wednesday, but that's when they discovered that I had a brain tumor at the time. It was an astrocytoma, which wasn't real aggressive. I did probably been there a while and finally just got a large enough to cause a problem there didn't seem to be a lot of concern among the doctors. So, you know, and I didn't get too upset about it.

04:35 Then I had it removed surgically and had continuing tomorrow eyes. Every few months is doing great for a couple years. I Do by backing up from it to that Sunday that I had it the next day that that Monday the day after I was supposed to meet with my dissertation committee to start that process in finished BHD. I've been working on it and I've also been hired as director of operations for a company that was just watching it was launching that week. So actually my first thought upon hearing all this was really now I'm busy. Can we do this later? I have a lot to do right now. I do not have time for my what's all involved, but it is going to take up a lot of my time.

05:27 So anyway, but I'll write that after after having the surgery and having it removed a couple years of nothing showing up in the MRI and then till finally did and so in the shower I thought well.

05:47 Probably another kind of the same brain tumor and I didn't worry too much about it, but as things went on.

05:56 I was told it was a different type of brain tumor in Vogue last time. It was a more aggressive. The farther along is stage 4 and the prognosis was not near as good as with the first timer, but I think since I had already kind of gone through a lot of the emotions with the first two more of in the questions of what is this mean I'm going to die with this is why what does this mean? It didn't hit me as hard. I think if that'd been the first thing I was hit with and given a one-year diagnosis or prognosis, so

06:40 Oh, I guess just getting the news. The second time was a little easier because my first thought was I met before I told me how bad it was likely to be is. Alright. Well, I'll get it cut out of my head and I'll go through all this again, but then I'll be alright and get these it'll pass or I will.

07:12 I don't know if it makes this easier now or or harder or something, but at least it's different are the kids right? Because when you were first diagnosed so Kevin to the listening audience with three kids that I'm their wicked stepmother her terrible terrible wicked stepmother. Let me know the time when you were first diagnosed, but Spencer was only 12 and 11 or 11 and Molly was like 15 and Clayton was in college and

07:52 And now, you know, they're older there.

07:57 26 and about to get married and in college while he's in college and Spencers, you know a junior in high school and

08:08 So it feels like maybe they have better. They have stronger memories of you now and you know more about like who there going to be and who they're going to become and you know, tell me tell me a little bit about like tell me about your kids.

08:27 Well

08:30 Every father I think has some very parents is proud of their children, but I have checked Lee have fantastic kids. My oldest son Clayton. He is in residency graduated from med school while back and now is doing his residency in Texas. My daughters look said she's 18 G and just got too much a full ride and a very good college. She's brilliant beautiful. So talented has gotten in the theater and just just fantastic. She likes to get hugs and give hugs and my son Spencer is

09:17 Also just brilliant. I fully expect him to get all sorts of scholarships when he goes to college. He has many interests and I'm many interests and I can be hard to catch up with or keep up with the times but he's just a great and caring person and it's just been really amazing watching them grow up. I'm not just from in a little toddlers but through stages of Personality not just three stages of physical transformation, but to see and even though I'm I would very much like to see what kind of parents they are. What kind of people they become and I think at this point they still have such strong personalities and such.

10:10 Drooling good personalities that I have a pretty good sense of who they're going to be or what kind of people are going to me and I am tremendously proud of them proud of who they are now and

10:26 I have no concern at all about what kind of people they will be there. Just just amazing kids and

10:37 If I had to say

10:41 Well care about the best thing. I'm having a ball the things I may leave their the things I'm most proud of and then also going back to some of the information about the first homerun all that. We did have some genetic testing done and it is not hereditary, which was perhaps the biggest relief to know that you know, whatever I may pass on to them whenever I leave in my will I ever meet her things I get from me. It will not be the threat of a brain tumor so that bad it's just that was such a huge relief. We have lots of stories like funny stories that they know of from from when they can remember but do you have stories that when they were little that?

11:41 Particularly remind you are that are particularly funny. I thought that they might not remember.

11:48 Well, so

11:51 My son

11:54 Plain and I were driving back to Memphis from from Birmingham Alabama. I was with a friend. I was kind of co-piloting Titan was just passed out asleep in the back seat and all the sudden he sits up and he says sometimes when I'm sad God wipes away my tears and other times I use a tissue.

12:21 Many Falls right back to sleep. So he just has a great personality.

12:36 10 a.m. Slightly different manner

12:42 Well

12:44 Little children if your parent you have no privacy, so I was using the bathroom one day.

12:52 Spencer was about three years old or so and this opens the door walks in and he looks at me.

13:02 Looks and then looks up in my face and looks down on the cover and extending a daddy elephant, but just just anyone story about Molly. Not that I could narrow it down to one story Josh.

13:28 She has just always been just so full of personality.

13:35 And I'm cuz she has a bright red. I mean fire engine red curly hair just beautiful and Anna's had that our whole life. So it's always gotten her a lot of attention perfect. Strangers will get her something and I'll be at a fair or Carnival or something and she'll wind want something and somebody else will buy it for you. People are not helping. But anyway, I'm not I can't think of any specific thing that she has done that worth mentioning other than being.

14:21 Pretty much everything right?

14:31 If all of her friends jumped off a bridge know she wouldn't she wouldn't go to but she would have picked the bridge pick the time and the order that people were going to go off. So why stay charged?

14:45 The reason some of the things that you're most proud of do you have any?

14:53 Things that you're not proud of or things that you would wish to, you know on the record set the record straight if you

15:01 Oh, sure. Sure.

15:08 Have been calling while I'm in and they're just having a lot of people have things but they're just times when I think I've just been a horrible person. I just have not been the person who

15:28 I would like to be and it's in retrospect and haven't been the father. Haven't been the husband just haven't been the person that.

15:41 I would really like to be in so I still try try to make amends when when I can.

15:52 But I think, on the whole I've done. Okay, I mean I see my kids and and how well they're doing and and I see friends and family in and think about having that tumor is

16:09 And I wouldn't I wouldn't wish brain tumor on anyone. However, I hope everyone has some kind of experience but they realized just how many people

16:23 Care about them or are we show support or would be there? If you know, if something were to happen to them and from places that I never expected and I said, I was working on a PhD and I have a professor who

16:42 TN I never but it has a class ring was just certainly never close some we had different disciplines and just kind of different perspectives on things but we talked about unseen Angel she has just you just fantastic. She is still dear to me and we keep in touch and

17:07 And so that

17:11 Just knowing and realizing how many people are there despite my regrets and despite all the things that I think I have done wrong in my life. I must have done something. Okay to have that many people show up for me and to have such amazing children if

17:39 Of course, there are a lot of things that I think.

17:42 People think well if I had it to do over again and sure there are things that I would think I would like to do over again, but

17:51 If that would mean anything would change about where I am now separate breaking apart. I don't know that I would change it because you just never know how things are going to Ripple through and so I wouldn't want to change my kids. I wouldn't want to change my wife and I don't know. I'm good life that I have had a full life and it was ups and downs. I still

18:24 Feel

18:28 Blessed I've had a full life with with the ups and down that that and that is one thing that

18:41 I pride myself that I am grateful for is it has taught me a sense of compassion for others that I don't think I would have otherwise even even after being an alcoholic. I I it was certainly nothing that I ever chose to be and and to see other people's lives and hear their stories and you think Josh and the road of your life was never going to lead anywhere else but here and so I think that that is allowed me to spend a little more compassion in a little more patience and

19:21 I'm grateful for that and I hope it's time for people can carry that same compassion and patience for me.

19:30 One of the things you and I have often joked about is the fact that I am a pastor at at church with Jesus and everything and you are an atheist even though I don't think you're a very good atheist. I think you're more of a lapsed Catholic should have been raised a Protestant kind of diagnostic philosopher, but you can call it atheist if you want to

19:58 So given that

20:00 What?

20:02 What do you think is going to happen?

20:06 When this glioblastoma eventually

20:10 Picturelife, what do you think is going to happen to you?

20:17 I don't know and I don't think

20:19 Anyone does I'm not going to be certain I have faith. I think it's just going to

20:27 Kinda most part of my Consciousness. However

20:38 Neil deGrasse Tyson the astrophysicist talks about the

20:43 Iron in our blood being created in the last explosion of a star millions or billions of years ago won't and you said that I am a blacksmithing. There's something about that the iron in my blood in the iron that I'm forging at the iron. That's probably in all of us came from the same as we are that way and well

21:10 All of me is still going to be here every atom and molecule won't be in the same form. I'll be a little scattered but toledano scattered the times. Anyway, I'll just be a little more diffuse. So.

21:31 That I'll still be here just in a different form and

21:39 And whether I'm conscious or not and whether I have a Consciousness or not, if I end up and get to stand for God, I got a few questions few words for him or her however the divine shall choose 2% but an end.

22:09 And yes, you are pastor and frankly if anybody there were told me I'd be married to a pastor from Dallas Texas would not believe me and then that they told me I had a brain tumor that explains it but one of the things that I do tremendously respect about you is that I've seen you much more interested in doing God's work and preaching his word that and we have great conversations. I think you have explained more about the light on what things in because you have an actual on education 88 thorough background knowledge of and then and I have body to bother to study more of the Bible than just what it says and you don't just Terry pick up phrases in such that that suits your opinion at the time.

23:09 Kevin and understanding of things in context in what was meant and I appreciate that so much and respect that so much about you and and again, I truly think you will.

23:25 I even like I want to see you like going to church but I certainly like hearing you preach and and I usually learn something and and I just think more patches for like you.

23:43 Churches in religion would be a much better price on a PS3 like you we have more people in church, but

23:50 Well, somebody has to cook for Thanksgiving meals and keep the power on and I knew that kind of thing. I am I am not concerned about what happens to you after you depart this life. I am I worry about a lot of things I as you know, I am I am a worrier, but I do not worry about the end of life for the afterlife because number one hits ranked one of the few things that I'm not in charge of that number too and that you accepted, but I know you

24:38 I don't the fact that you understand that churches and people of faith can be places of goodness and wholeness and healing.

24:50 That's all that I need from a Believer and non-believer, you know and the fact that you

24:58 I took the breakfast and do the mission trips and work the slideshows and try to fix the air conditioner when it's off or whatever. You know, I mean all the churches should be is is a bunch of people trying to figure out the bigger questions together and

25:19 The fact that you've never held that against me and always been supportive of that even if our beliefs or don't don't always connect in the most normal way, you know, cuz never bothered me. I always I always like the fact that I was a pastor married to an atheist and maybe interesting grad keep you interested.

25:49 There are a few other things about you that I think we need to put on the record other than being a father and a wonderful husband and a good church volunteer blacksmith Chef cook for sure political Consultants. Good good Democrat. You hold a winning record as a democrat in the South which is no small feat and I think that I would be in trouble if I didn't allow you to share your best story about your pretty much your best story in in stories about politics in general, but about working in politics of tell me tell me about working in politics. What did you do?

26:41 I'm a man of campaign political campaigns on all levels and all over the country the Democratic party and I would imagine a Republican party has what they call Talent bank. So if you're going to run for office as a Democrat you call, you know, the national party needs to look like I just need some help here, you know, I need a manager. I need somebody who knows what they're doing may call me Erica Duarte. He's willing to travel Inn in Franklin between

27:21 Regular elections in off-year elections in several States and special election to things like that municipal election. You can be working if you're interested. You can be working on a political campaign year-round every year. I will say that is very tiring. But yeah, and I have to I have been primarily east of the Mississippi but and I have thoroughly enjoyed that I've been some great places. I've met some great people. In fact, we just got back from a trip to Smithfield Virginia where I ran a campaign several years ago, and I love you absolutely love the air would move there and live there. Why not?

28:14 Well, so well tied to Memphis.

28:21 You know, I believe was 95.

28:28 But Bill Clinton Al Gore or running for re-election.

28:34 And I was doing advanced work for our core which basically meant when he would come into a city. I would be there a few days before I am just as I'd enjoy the venue was set up correctly and everything was going good dare that they were hotel rooms for him. And that was a secret service usually get their his hotel room, but for the staff and for practical and all that and it could be any number of things while he was coming to Memphis and he was actually flying into the

29:10 Millington Naval Air Base because these got a huge jumbo cargo plane that lands a day or two ahead of him, which has his limousine some Secret Service SUVs and all this other stuff. So but one of my jobs was to the west of some cargo and passenger vans for his staff and all and for a press Corps. Well, I need 15 of them in the only place that had that many was the car rental places at regular Memphis municipal airport was down there and we picked up all the bands and we care of and up to Millington and we like them all up and course the Secret Service came came out and and was searching them.

30:07 They went through and now their dogs are due what I understand is called passive alert, which if they smell something wrong or said something wrong they sit and they went through nose at now move until they giving all clear.

30:22 Well, I don't tighten one of the dogs start going nuts barking and scratching at the side of a bed. I'm choking itself on the leash and just really wanted something in that thing bad seeing their dog do that before so I thought we had they had us all and will this guy in this bomb suit came out and he had his little mirror on a selfie stick and he looked under and drove the van and looked all around here.

31:01 Papa latch on the hood and opened it up and have the Hood by half way up in the coffin with your him yelling jump backwards and lands on his but he's trying to fling off his glove and reach for his side all the dogs like five or six dogs start barking and growling and pulling on their leashes. Well, then this huge fat ugly possum come crawling out of the engine compartment other than down the buffer and kisses everyone and then goes off into the weeks. So yeah, he's a he's DC dogs. They've been trained on bombs and drugs and all kinds of things but they never been trained on no flocking. So if you are American, or something bring a possum

32:01 One of your philosophies I think about politics in about how you got into politics and what makes a good not necessarily a good politician but a good political operative I think is a good lesson for for all of us for the kids, you know a good something to remember and you know, it's about showing up. Can you tell so a lot of my work has not just been in campaigns work for the state legislature in Trenton, Tennessee for a little while and and I was assistant to the mayor of Shelby County, which is Memphis is in and

32:51 Well, one of times things that nobody else really wanted to deal with her.

32:56 New how to deal with this thing up on my desk. Well

33:01 It's not the news. I was really hard but I really didn't want things that are really enjoyed about all that was every day was something different and you know, some days it was, you know, helping somebody but there's house security are there Veteran's pension or something and I know it was very rewarding and fulfilling work knowing that you have made a difference to somebody that day a positive difference with well.

33:28 And a lot of these things have happened so I got go to through various just answering the phone and being willing to just do something and then wouldn't even harm. I got invited to go to China had a great time there and had other opportunities and so I tried it and still in my kids and certainly nothing that I was just show up. Just just I mean you can get so much I'm half the time it's just showing up and being the one willing to show up cuz some people aren't and and or they're afraid of whether they are afraid or confused or whatever.

34:14 This too shall pass smile on your face and ready to do something and and that makes a big difference and along with that is.

34:25 You know smile and a kind of regardless of politics regardless of anything else a smile and a complement cost you nothing to give.

34:36 Priceless to the person getting that you just never know.

34:48 Out look like it is not sticking out of my head every night. But I kind of thing. You just never know what kind of day somebody is having or what they're battling behind the scenes. And so that smile that compliment whatever I'm just may be Priceless. It may be just all that person needed to make their day better and I'm so so one of the things that I think that I really try to instill in my kisses don't be afraid to just show up and custom have time you can get get what you want just by showing up or volunteering

35:30 I've been you know elected now either.

35:36 Had a little organization or some other officer in little organization has no one else to do it and it cost nothing. It is so easy to just smile compliment and that can get you so far those two things showing up and with a smile on your face can get you just about anywhere and just about anything. Is it genuine and just make everything easier and makes everything better makes you feel better.

36:20 Love about you most is you are always 1/2.

36:30 No matter how if we no matter how things are the end of the day no matter what we've been through or what we've gone through what I've done or what you've done.

36:41 You know you always wake up the next day.

36:46 Ready to try again ready to you know, give it another go ready to show up one more time. And you know, I just think

36:58 That that's the kind of thing that I respect and love the most about you when it when it comes especially to this stupid.

37:11 Jackass tumor. Sorry as long as the sun rises is another day to try again to have a little more. Hope that maybe fix what you messed up yesterday or are or whatever. There's just it's just another chance and if the sun doesn't rise we all have way bigger problems than whatever is going on even tumors or anything. We just screwed all the way over so you might as well get it on with it.

37:53 But really quickly about cooking. What is your favorite thing to cook? What do you like to do?

38:02 Oh, I don't have a well I make objectively the best spaghetti sauce which gun goes into the best butt in and it's one of the things probably the thing that I have made it that I can do with my eyes closed. I was kind of my own recipe and I just know it and and it took comfort for me to make a tattoo comfort for me to eat in the serve and for me I worked in restaurants inside sand and people bath light on open Moon restaurant order for me cooking for someone not just love but

38:53 I care about you enough to go through this effort in and give you this and so that that matters and there are a lot of things I'd like to make an alarm of things but you and the kids like me right? So thank you for your help this past Christmas. We put together a little cookbook for the kids so that I mean I'm thinking about it at the time but

39:26 When I'm not here to cook Spencer youngest son has really come a long way and it's cooking. It has a fantastic cook now now I know one of the reasons you married me is cuz I can cook that is true. And because I have power tools in 50 Cent back down and and the The cookbook is just some of a favorite recipe using and things like that, but it's called always have a chicken because if you got it taken you have options you can fry you can roast it. You can turn into a chicken pot pie chicken soup to animals just you just always have options for the chicken. You can satisfy just about any style of taste you want and in so that really kind of became kind of a

40:26 Play running joke between us but

40:29 Code for I know we got options. So like one time I think we were going to go to Chicago or something. And you ask what what are we going to do when we get there? I said, I don't know but I'm bringing chicken. And so that really want to encapsulate that just that thought for my kids. Don't be tied down. Don't get too bent out of shape. If it's not going to work keep your options open. I know you like to plan and have things go according to plan.

41:06 I always have to plan B in plantae because I expect plan a to blow up.

41:17 I think that maybe second to last thing. This is super cheesy, but I've always wanted to do it. So we'll do it. This is the inside Actors Studio.

41:33 Bernard TiVo 10 questions

41:36 You wanted you wanted to be on Fresh Air. I want to be on Inside the Actors Studio. Okay. All right. All right, so I'm going to ask you 10 questions. Okay, and let's see how you do do Kevin Gallagher? What is your favorite word?

42:00 I'm getting my PhD in communication. So few words and Anna Parson them out and what they mean get to be important. So I don't like that happened. Favorite word is early. Are you did have a favorite word? It was fart. Oh, that's right. That's right. Thank you for reminding me how to PhD in Communications. Yes. Well, that's because it's going to at least put a smile on somebody say I challenge you if you see someone has just kind of having a grumpy day. Look at him Square in the eye and just say fart.

42:46 The important thing is a powerful word is that your favorite word is your least favorite word?

43:07 Pusillanimous not because of the word itself, but just

43:14 It just seems to be a sliming type of cowardice and having worked in politics for so long. It's just what I see so much. Now I've just avoiding issues of knowing what the right thing to do is but just to

43:36 Backbone jellyfish, just just to qslide I mistook to do anything to do the right thing. What turns you on?

43:49 Eye twitches

44:05 I'm very attracted to a good personality and a great smile both of which you possess what turns you off.

44:20 Just kind of a

44:23 Fake arrogance. I kind of hate the voice fry. That's all right. Yeah. Yeah, that's what sound annoys do you live?

44:39 I really love the sound of your giggle.

44:43 What sound annoys do you hate?

44:50 I want to go back to fart, but

44:54 Oh when you practice the dog scratching at the door or whining at 2 or 3 a.m. To be let out that is annoying only to start working at the back door to the right back into his letter.

45:12 Kevin Gallagher, what is your favorite curse word?

45:20 Curse word or just however, you want to Define curse word. Yes.

45:26 Penis wrinkle

45:32 It's an apt description of some of the pusillanimous people that like to attempt.

45:49 I always

45:53 Which has spent more time.

45:57 Either studying music man. I used to playing bass. Well played with I'd like to base never got good at it. I wish I had done better at music or

46:11 Quantum mechanics astrophysics something which reminds you, you know, I'm smart guy and just asked me on any given occasion. I'm usually smartest person in the room.

46:28 But I always knew that it would be kind of my intelligence that that it would be how I make my living and the irony that is going to be my brain that kills me pictures of noxious. We just have more brain than you need. You have XJ frame well over used it, but at least the doctor did tell me if it wasn't I didn't get a brain tumor because of dirty thoughts. It's just emotion other than yours. Would you not like to do

47:11 I'm sure there are plenty that I wouldn't really.

47:16 Enjoy doing however

47:19 Are all necessary. So I I think you can do anything with a certain dignity. Like I met a guy who cleaned out the Porta-Johns at construction sites in and it's a good guy didn't mind doing his work and any kind of pride in it and was doing a service so I'm certainly at the job but

47:49 But he did it with respect or with dignity and a smile on his face. So, you know.

47:57 I'm finally Kevin Gallagher. My love If Heaven exists.

48:03 What would you like to hear? God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

48:13 I left Earth a better happier place than I found it.

48:24 On behalf in behalf of God as spokesperson.

48:37 It was a joy and one of my greatest regrets. I think it said.

48:43 I just like to do it a lot more. I feel like you just get sick enough of you to divorce you.

48:57 That would be good cuz I'd rather prenote and my children are from my previous wife, but I could not have asked for a better step mother. I you have just been so fantastic to him and and your parents and family have been I couldn't ask for better in-laws. They have taken them in when I couldn't couldn't load them or if they were their own biological and they have been just

49:35 Fantastic, and I am so grateful for her for all that I you just can't know and I know regardless of what happens to me that my kids will be taken care of.

49:48 Love you a whole whack you all wack.