Timothy Green and Dominique Green

Recorded September 29, 2019 Archived September 29, 2019 38:58 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: mby019245

Description

Timothy "Tim" Green Jr. (34) talks with his sister Dominique Green (30) about their memories together, the choices they've made in life, questions they have for each other, reflections on their relationships with their parents, and how those reflections shaped them as individuals.

Subject Log / Time Code

TG and DG recalls their first memories of each other.
DG talks about things she'd like to one day tell her mother.
TG talks about his relationship with his parents.
TG talks about his father living with him after being in jail.
DG talks about what she'd like her father to know about her. TG talks about forgiveness.
TG talks about how their father has changed.
DG talks about how being a parent has changed her.
TG and DG share their dreams for each other.
DG defines her idea of a father, and reflects on being grateful for TG.

Participants

  • Timothy Green
  • Dominique Green

Recording Locations

Crosstown Concourse

Partnership Type

Outreach

Transcript

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00:03 My name is Tim Green. I'm 34 years old today's date is Sunday, September 29th, 2019. We are in Memphis Tennessee. The name of the interview partner I have is Dominique green and she just so happens to be my sister and I am dummy green. I am 30 years old. Today's date is Sunday September 29th, 2019. We are in the best city in the world Memphis Tennessee the name of the Indian River partners, and I'm sitting with this Timothy Lee green Jr. And your and my relationship to him. He is my older brother a minute. You're older only lonely, but he's five years older just know that if people don't need to know all of that. Okay, so we're going to go ahead and dive in and see who's going to start with the question cuz he really okay. Well if you could interview anyone from your life living or dead, but not a celebrity who would it be and why?

01:03 I would interview not a celebrity.

01:09 That's a good question. I know I thought of it when you know.

01:22 I honestly think that I would interview.

01:27 A great-grandmother. So I was not thinking of the same person. Yes, I would interview Irene's mother agree. I think the reason would be her thought process is to you know, how she raised her children in how was back then and

01:48 Was he had to go through and have no idea why?

01:56 We have like thirty-eight more minutes. I know that I believe she died when I was three years old. So like what was she going through at that time? I mean, you know Grandma, you know that they say that they don't know how she passed but you know talking to your mom. I think it was more so she died from childbirth because she

02:21 I think she gave birth and the baby died and she also died, but you know how it was back then.

02:30 Grandma says that she's I don't know. I think her body was poisoned, you know, cuz they didn't have the information or anything like that. So probably too, you know, I asked her how was back then and what was her thought process process. I guess I'm being a mother and how she was able to be a mother to what am I got how many Jews and she had about six or seven seven or eight is it it's a gaggle of them, but I know it had a lot but but as far as well how many she had herself so, you know, just ask her, you know how it was back then and things like that. So that was my okay. So it's my turn great. So my question would be

03:20 We just going to skip around here.

03:23 Have you ever been in love? And what was that like I've been in love and levels Don't Know Me Victorious. So it is very from what I can see you not too emotional or you don't bring your emotions to the Forefront to wear as for me obviously because I have tears in my eyes now, which is random. I have I wear my emotions on my sleeve so you can definitely I mean you just send me a meme the other day that was like a pallet Sagittarius can tell you that they feel their love, but they actually don't mean it or something like telling people I love them, but I don't

04:23 And what was that feeling like I I think going back to your whole thing about business as it's a sanitation slower Sagittarius. I think how I felt about love or what I'm expecting from people has evolved over time. So I think I have court starting out like young like, you know, I stayed like with somebody like had a girlfriend here and every now and then going to college and then got to college and all the experiences that I had kind of led me to like now being 34. I'm very sure about what I want from a partner. So if this why my span is like 2 weeks if I don't feel safe if I don't feel like we're not in a space where this can continue or be sustainable Wars going to better my life. Then I got to let you go so bad, you know, we're still friends but you know, sometimes it's just like yeah now we could just cut this off, but yes, I've been in love and I think it's helped to shape.

05:23 What I'm looking for today.

05:27 Good night. Let me see. What is your first memory of me?

05:35 What is my first memory of you? My first memory of you is?

05:41 The first one that I can really truly remember.

05:46 We where we went to Grace Elementary School in Memphis, Tennessee school and I was dropped off and I talked to you were dropped off two, but then typically what you would do you would come get me from class and you didn't come get me from class one day and I was crying. I was just like where is my brother? He's not here and I think Mom came and got me and was like, oh well because of Jumpy Freeman now and I was like what is happening? Like nobody DC schools are great for me. I think I have no idea first versus second. I think I don't know. I can't even remember what I did yesterday these two children get a lot out of me. So I think that's my first real.

06:46 Memory of you is you actually leaving with him. I had to talk to a therapist about that cuz why is that my first memory someone leaving right when it comes to

06:58 What's happening? So yes, that is my first memory not as kind of the same.

07:07 As a child, what is your memory of me? Did I get into trouble? And what was I like from your memory from your perspective of growing up with having a little sister like me. Well when you were born I was around I was four when you were born and I was just in this place is like, where did you come from? And I was like what is happening here somebody else here. So I had to deal with that. So surprising to tell the story of mud and he can run around be like hide and I'm TJ, and I'm 4 years old. Remember the light then I was going to get you I was going to check you and say you don't remember that you like

07:52 Being there and then I remember which totally speaks into the career that I went into. I remember coming home from school and like making little worksheets for you and like playing like teacher in classroom with you and you just like being

08:09 Like open to all of that but I do remember it's like it's like time like truly hate each other and I think that was just like teenage years and stuff like that. But my first memory we just be like you just there and it was just like okay and do what, you know, you're very attentive to the things like I what to do with you, but I hate let's play Let's play that you just like, okay.

08:34 Listening

08:37 Well we go with something along those lines. What makes us good siblings.

08:44 I make those good feelings.

08:47 I think

08:49 We just honestly get each other.

08:53 I think we both have a no judgement zone when it comes to the both of us and I think that works really well with it. Only being two of us into the house. I think we always had the relationship that we you know, Mom and still didn't us that you know, sorry other siblings. If you ain't here when you have six sisters my bad and all but you know, Mom and Dad are Mom and Dad's children are and the way our mommy she always instilled in us that you know, no matter what happens no matter what comes in and out of our lives and who comes in and out of our Lives is always going to be us too. So I was going to be us two for each other is always going to be us against the world pretty much as what she tried to instill in us and I think after we got out of that. That you know where we hated each other when we went out to

09:53 College and things like that. I think we got closer because we couldn't be so open with each other. And once we realize that we could be open with each other. You're not judgmental. I'm not judgmental. I think we get it. I think we get life. So I think that's what it is. Now that we're talking about what you remember what we remember from one another as siblings growing up. Do you see a lot of characteristics and Kayden and Lena?

10:26 I think yes, I do think if I would go back. I was very much more like Kayden. I was very emotional at the same time. I was like the school was my everything. So it's like I'm going to school. I'm going to make Straight A's or make make a be here in there. I'm going to be on student council. I'm going to be in the choir. I'm going to do that and then Lane has just like your Bumble and imma jump out the table, so it's really

11:00 It cracks me up inside when I see how

11:04 You get really really tense when you see Lena doing those things that I literally saw you do growing up. So I'm like she is literally trying to stop herself like she told you that before I was like you fight so hard with Lena because Lena is you and you like no don't do that. Don't do that... Stop. Stop. I don't like you just seen outside if we see a lot of them in US absolutely.

11:40 Is there anything that you've always wanted to tell me but haven't.

11:46 Now

11:48 Always been very vocal and if I wasn't you found out about it. Anyway, you know when I snuck down to the party and then all of a sudden after the party tonight after I was extremely intoxicated, I was about what 1819 and you spit up in the car was really in the car and I was like, how did you even know that I was Knoxville Tennessee natural gas. So I know I don't think there is anything like I said before we've been very vocal with one another no matter if it you know, it hurts. So if it is trying to think is there anything

12:29 Obviously know we've always been vocal with each other. So I don't think so going back to a sibling thing.

12:39 What's something that you would change on the way that we were raised?

12:45 What do you mean as far as if you can change anything about the way that we were raised whether it be, you know, our grandparents step in the back are pears taking more of an initiative or

13:01 IPads being a little bit more in the place of like raising us kind of is there something that you would change about the way the view were raised?

13:14 Oh, I think one thing that I would change which is probably a blessing where we are now is how young our parents were when they had us like with me they mom was 18 and that was 19 and didn't really know what they were doing. And then I'm not taking the time to do actually

13:40 Verbalize emotions and feelings and seek therapy and figure things out and leading to other things happening leading to you being here and it caused a lot of drama and it's drama that I don't think anybody has ever admitted to or anyone has ever apologize for I think it's just been a space of kind of what we see in our community and African-American Community. Just like okay with this happen.

14:15 You know, we just move on from there or we brush stuff under the rug or whatever happens in this house stays in this house type of deal. I kind of made me lose trust for people and I think that's why I now you like what I say like the two week. Stuff is like I'm very particular about who I let in my life and who I'll let ride with me because I don't want to be in the situation where

14:41 I like what I lived. I don't want to be in a situation like that. So yeah, I think it is is it's made me cautious about the people that I let into my life. I was actually having a conversation with Grandma yesterday and it was on the lines of she said something like what did she say? She said, you know your dad never really oh because of the relationship, you know that Mom has with run trail and she pretty much does not speak to him and nobody really and truly knows why and so I asked Grandma, you know, well, you know the things that my dad did and what he had going on with him and the relationship that he had with my mom and the things that he used to do but you always welcome him into your house with open arms and I asked her if it was a reason for that and she said yeah because he never disrespected.

15:41 I didn't think to me.

15:44 And so I just felt like that was like I was kind of taken aback by that, I guess because

15:51 I guess because of my mom now, so

15:56 You know, I feel like you know, no matter if you disrespect me or not, if you you know, come towards my children are disrespectful to my children. I consider my children myself. So you disrespecting me no matter if you're not doing it to me or not. So, you know kind of wanted to ask that because especially since you brought that up yesterday, so tell me what you want.

16:20 Hi-C

16:27 What is one thing you want our mom to know about you?

16:34 We have more than this tissue box.

16:48 Why am I going to sound like a big? Crybaby you think I made this into a drinking game? Like whenever you hear Dominique write a cash. I will let you know.

17:02 I want her it was the question. What is one thing you want our mom to know about you?

17:10 I wanted to know that I am.

17:16 I wanted to know that words mean things. That's what I want to know because

17:25 No matter what. She she can say things that can trigger me or hurt me.

17:33 Without I don't think her meeting to or her trying to crack a joke or her her trying to I don't know. I guess I just want her to know that.

17:44 Something about me that when I'm grown, I'm grown to I'm a mom. So I would like for her to be more vocal and open with me about her trials and tribulations as a mom because I'm going through the same thing and I want her to

18:02 Teach me and I know necessarily talk at me and

18:10 Extremely sensitive as we can hear but that I'm extremely sensitive and that you know,

18:20 That her words matter to me. That's what I want to know.

18:30 Speak about parents. How is your relationship with your parents?

18:36 I will say that.

18:40 Right now I'm in the space where I am having the best version of my relationships with Mom and Dad.

18:49 I think cuz well Mama is just there. Mostly. I don't think that I have ever really connected emotionally without mother. I don't think I have

19:07 And it's because I just think she's been in a space of survival mode for so long, but it's kind of like and I love you. Like that's my mom but it wasn't like, you know, she's a fake today time. She'll give you a hug if you kiss with that, but it still seems kind of robotic. I thought about this this morning about like how she acted I never forget it and we were living in Valley Forge and there was a time and she came around she like, you know, tell me get on the floor. We like laying on the floor and I was just crying and yelling and I was like you got to do something else like we can't live here. This is not right. We shouldn't go up like this and that started when we started moving places. So that's when we moved to the other apartment. That's when you moved out. So every time she got

20:07 Job and things like that. We always moved and she always made sure that we were in a space that was better than before and that was like one of those moments when I felt like why she really listen to me, but he would like now, you know, we will talk about you know shows that we like to watch and stuff like that. But me and your dad me and dad like, you know, we definitely had our ups and downs the point where I didn't speak to him for a while the turning point for us was when he was released from prison and had to come live with me and that's what really shifted our relationship and even out today. Like, of course, I'm out of town like every other weekend and stuff like that. He comes over to keep his Grand dogs and all of that and make sure that you know, he's doing stuff with them and we even like he picked me up from the airport last week and we literally sat

21:07 My driveway and talked even though I was extremely tired and he had me run around with him for an hour after pick me up from the airport. I'm not angry. I was just tired of my driveway and talk for like another 30 minutes just like about life and everything and I was like why I like I never would have dreamed that we would have been at that space. So yeah.

21:31 Okay, Waze leads to my next question. What is one thing you would want our dad to know about you?

21:49 One thing that will let one who know about me.

21:56 That I'm an amazing mom.

22:02 That I'm an amazing mom. And the reason why I am an amazing mom. Is it because I think that he showed me what not to do as a parent.

22:16 Beds

22:20 Deep deep down inside. I am exactly like him.

22:24 What is that's what I tried to fight the most.

22:34 I think that's pretty much about.

22:37 It is far as him because you know him and I don't speak which leads me to my next question. Does he ask about me and the girls?

22:48 What is he say he say how the hell they doing?

22:53 That's very good.

22:55 You know how I feel about this situation right now. So because I know that y'all are so much alike. And because I've been in the space, you know in my five years more than you. I've been able to being a space to reflect on forgiveness.

23:17 And just realized that life is too short and realizing that sometimes forgiving people in the Army is for others. So just thinking about you know, the girls building a relationship with him as a grandfather superseding the need for him to have to be a father to you at this point if that makes sense, and it doesn't mean they like it can't be both but my next Quest would because I was thinking about this the other day.

23:53 Wood

23:56 A genuine apology from him be accepted and appreciated I guess.

24:07 I don't know if there's a way for me to tell if it's genuine.

24:12 Because he'd so.

24:17 I'm right. I'm always right at least that's what I remember. It's been years. I remember him being I'm right. I'm always right now willing to listen to children and I think our family is a hold from Grandma to you know, my they still look at me as a child. Although there's two whole to whole bodies that I burst in our hair pushed out there for one right gross delivery it so I'ma let you know, I'm a whole lot. Not too sure if I can say this, but I'm a whole that's crystal says off the read I feel like I'm going to be right now is like a fear of a whole grown booby woman. So and I don't think that the family sees me as such so I don't know if a conversation with her.

25:17 If he would allow me to speak if you would allow me to express myself in the way that I feel and if he would actually

25:30 You know except what I'm saying and not be like nah, this is what really happened. Yeah. Well, I'm telling you what I saw with my eyes and what I heard and I just don't understand. I understand that, you know, he's a product of the way that he was raised as well. I think that our parents, you know are only doing what they doing the best with what they knew and how they knew to do things.

25:56 Yeah.

25:58 Can I have my own way of doing that and I just forgot it in my mind. What was it?

26:06 Oh, yes, cuz your own dead. Now. Do you think he's a different grandfather that he was a father? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think even his relationship as a father now is different and I just think like, you know, even grown up like we got this far that was kind of like this Force like he was very dominant and masculine and this is the way things are going to rod and you know For Better or Worse life experiences is kind of like taking him down a few notches and now he's at a space where he's rebuilt himself and he's reflected on those things and he's really taking some reflection within itself. And I think this kind of you know, how we've been able to have a better relationship and seeing him with grandkids to like he's he's not the same guy, you know that we grew up with that all

27:08 So what his bed now, let me see you.

27:17 Change me to matically it's like a completely 360 from what what what I was before. I came and Lena before then. I was Reckless reckless in a bad way. Really didn't really care too much about you know,

27:40 I don't want I don't know if it was care about life, but I literally looked at life is okay. I'm waking up. Okay, I'll make it up again the next day and I'm waking up again the next day. I'm really very careless as far as drinking is concerned. The only thing I pretty much kid only thing I pretty much cared about was money and making it and be like Oh, I'm the first one to do this on the first one to do that. Where is now with Kane and Lena? I have to be a lot more stable than when I was back. Then I have to make sure they are okay fed closed in her two cells then killed herself today, then jump off anything. They weren't supposed to you today and Lena so

28:29 Is is a more emotional as we can see that it's recording extremely emotional and more nurturing that I was before I had them. So yeah, that's okay.

28:48 What was it? It was right here.

28:52 Oh what lessons have you learned from your either friendships or relationships?

29:00 Oh sound learned a big lesson right now.

29:06 Just that the evolution of friendship and also being patient with people and being okay for them not to be completely in my life. They've been a lot of incidents with friends recently where it was either situation where they were moving that I didn't know about or it was a

29:30 Being in the hospital and I didn't know about it or trip that was taking it. I didn't know about or it's been all these different things that is made me reflect light and I do what did I do? Something wrong think I have but I have to take it from me lights being selfish and seeing like that has nothing to do with me. I mean, all I can do is like no pray for those people and still be their friend, you know, so I had that little moment of life. So why did I not know this, you know, and then I was like, well, it's not for me to know, you know, and just still being there for that person the best way that I can so friendships with just taught me a lot more about patience. And then I also realized that I'm taking I'm making a huge shift in my life right now with all of the projects that I'm doing with like you're looking at like literally 2 years ago.

30:29 Like jobless struggling lights off every other month all of this stuff and now I'm in the space where I'm blessed and continuously being blessed. I have to just realize that I won't continue to be blessed like this if I was to hold grudges against people and understand everybody is on their own Journey. So if I was there two years ago, you know, I might be other people in the same situation. I just have to pray and support them as well.

31:02 All right. So a fun question if you describe me with an emoji, could it be the smirk Emoji? That's why because it's always something but it's a saying or something. It's always something really slick going on in your head either asleep come back as they say and it comes immediately like your wig be quite Shady. Yes, you're with and you're on your way the way that you throw trees not shade trees at people. And then the person be like, wait a minute. What is the you just like every moving on so I mean, but I definitely think it would be the same. You're welcome. Okay. What?

31:54 Are your dreams for me or do you have any dreams or aspirations for me? What are my dreams for you? My dreams for you are to be extremely happy you your kids and your husband nice little nice little house and you all actually building something together.

32:20 And just being

32:23 Like you're a businesswoman by the same time like your true passion is like mom is like your life, So I see you doing that very well. And I just see you like it. You know how I'll be there when you up there with your phone or everybody probably have drones around this time and Kayden graduating you update crying and I'm have to control one of the drones. It's all over the place.

33:02 I say the same question for me.

33:07 I just honestly, you know, the business part of you is a no-brainer. I just see you like, you know with all the things that you're doing for young men and just youth in general are definitely see like crazy. You know that easement Nobel Peace prizes type thing going on there. You know, that's right. You know Mike Awards around the neck type thing from like president that matter and just like all of those things just like crazy crazy things for you as far as like, you know business and you know helping the you have your own school things like that just seems so much for you there. Everybody want me to open the school LeBron James you like but as far as I just want to see you happy with someone as far as a partner it's concerned to see you happy with them and they love you as much as I know that you're willing to love.

34:07 Get your shots.

34:13 And just so you know, this is just be happy. You don't have your family a little boys and girls things like that running around not just create major. Sorry to the dogs. But actually you don't tell me that you can't necessarily give away where you can but it's really proud of you. They will be old enough to babysit Kaden and Lena so I won't have to do so, but Justin Bieber really happy romantically, that's pretty much what I say for you. That's what my dreams and aspirations are for you.

34:47 Stop right now. So I actually I actually look up the definition of like a dad and a father things like that. He was like, oh a male parent in this like this thing's another but it's kind of different from me. I think that's my definition of a father is someone that

35:16 Always there for that person to push them.

35:21 To guide them don't think I ever really truly said thank you for the things that you have done for me.

35:31 As far as what I did get kicked out of you to see nobody judge me just being young and really, you know college got the best of me I think so I could have just came home to Memphis, but you made a phone call and it was like, nope. You're going to come up here with me to Knoxville. I'm get you a job. You're going to go to a community college and you got to be fine. Then literally taking me under your wing again. If you need so many times over yogurt into Knoxville. Give me my own place with roommates and getting me a job just honestly as much as I hate to admit it, it did open my Pathway to hospitality to where I am now starting off as a leasing agent, you know selling apartment.

36:31 Is two college kids in their parents in did pave the way for me to be where I am as gruesome as a sales manager for Little Edie top Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee. So I don't think I've ever said thank you for that. But thank you and that is something that a father does a father is also very nurturing and non-judgmental and that's what you have been to me. I don't think I could ever

37:06 Tell our parents have two things that I told you and that's something that a father does. So to nurture to teach to pick up when they are definitely down. So with that being said

37:30 Okay.

37:34 A father also walks the bride down the aisle.

37:44 I wanted to ask you out for my wedding.

37:54 But you got to take more shots cuz not only crying.

38:09 I just think you'll be the perfect person to do so.

38:13 You've more than earned that right to me, so.

38:22 I think you did a wonderful job and

38:26 Thank you so much for saying yes.

38:31 You're welcome.

38:33 And I think that's a great place to eat is not only have to take shots for when I cry. I'll 17 * 37 bottles with himself.