Donna White and Johari Hamilton

Recorded September 30, 2019 Archived September 30, 2019 36:37 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: mby019251

Description

Donna Olds White (60) expresses gratitude for her friend Johari Hamilton (46) for the impact her guidance in prayer has had on Donna's life. The two friends reflect on why praying for men is important and how sharing in prayer has brought them closer to God.

Subject Log / Time Code

DOW recounts when JH made her aware, some years ago, of the importance of praying for the men in their lives.
DOW shares with JH some hardships the men in her life have faced, and how JH has helped her to support them.
JH reflects on the opportunity to have this impact, to share what she's been give, and feeling closer to God because of it.
DOW recalls the weekly group calls JH proposed to pray for men, and what a sacrifice of time it was. JH reflects on how she decided on weekly calls--because she believed men are worth it.
DOW reflects on conversations she and JH had about fathers--the conversations weren't always comfortable but they were good. JH talks about her father having set a standard and letting it down, and having caution in her relationship with God because of it.
JH talks about the importance of praying for men. DOW reflects on feeling hopeful because of JH.

Participants

  • Donna White
  • Johari Hamilton

Recording Locations

Crosstown Concourse

Partnership Type

Outreach

Initiatives


Transcript

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00:08 My name is Donna Owens white. I am 60 years old. Today's date is Monday, September 30th, 2019 and I live in Memphis, Tennessee.

00:24 The name of my interview partner is Johari Hamilton and Johari is my friend.

00:34 My name is Johari Hamilton and I am 46 years old. Today is Monday September 30th 2019. We are here in Memphis, Tennessee and the name of my interview partner is Donna old white and Donna is my friend.

01:07 Johari

01:09 Wow, it's so good to sit here with you and just look at you. I can't help it when I look at you I think about so much but what really comes to mine?

01:24 Is the time some years ago when you invited me and some other ladies over to your house and you really didn't explain really what was going to go on during that time, but I distinctly remember making you had us to make a poster and you told us to put the names of all the men in our lives on that poster.

01:57 And then you begin to tell us how important it was.

02:03 For us to pray for those men and for their lives.

02:10 And I have to admit to you that.

02:15 That is never anything that anybody has ever asked me to do or made me aware of the importance of it, even though I have seven brothers and I have a husband and I have a son and I have friends and it was like once I got started writing those names.

02:39 I began to just blow my mind that I had never thought to really think about them in that deep away that I needed to pray for them or you don't be concerned about how their lives were going as men. And so

03:02 I don't know if I've ever thanked you for that, but I know that that I can count that as the beginning of.

03:11 Of the time where my Consciousness was kind of raised about that and and what I began to do after that intentionally is really because of you.

03:24 And because of that day in your house.

03:27 With a poster board in San Marcos

03:34 I'm blessed and honored to be sitting across from you having this conversation.

03:40 When you talk about

03:44 Intentionality it definitely

03:50 Is the hand of God and

03:54 Him, I think of this as his story.

04:00 That he is pitching in the book.

04:09 Of Eternity and I'm just an honor that he would write such a story and that day when I invited you all. I didn't know much like you said I didn't know exactly what to share with you other than what had been shared with me and I don't know if I was able to put into words at the time, but now almost

04:44 12 years later

04:46 I am more able to see and not completely but just a little bit more of.

04:55 What God intends and

05:02 That is a story of Hope.

05:07 A story I never thought that even I would be a part of.

05:12 Because I had lost so much. Hope in the men that were a part of my own life.

05:20 + 2

05:24 Experience Hope on this level.

05:28 Is definitely a gift.

05:31 2 ways to experience it personally.

05:35 Is a gift.

05:38 Can buy to share it with others isn't even greater gift.

05:44 It's okay. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me to have this conversation. I just feel like I don't some some things. I haven't even told you. It's one thing to to say. Thank you and you've made a difference in my life. But I guess I want to make sure that you know some particular things that happened.

06:07 After that time in my life, which was one of which was that my college-age son, who was that? You know, his number one choice in college and he had finished the first year and made new friends and we were getting him ready to go back for a second year when he came to us and told us that somebody had confessed to a very serious crime and that person was going to be his roommate and so he came to us asking us what to do and ultimately the

06:51 That person who confessed to him also threatened his life and so my son's life changed because he could not go back to that college and his whole trajectory in his life changed at that point. That's something I would have never imagined would have happened because it was like we felt like we had done all the things right to make things right for him. And then here's this thing that happens but because

07:28 You had shared with me the importance of prayer.

07:34 And not just share the importance one time but you know, I created a practice for doing that, you know for just consciously doing that. It made a difference or for me and then not only that but

07:57 Having a brother who ended up being diagnosed with cancer.

08:03 Stage 4 cancer and

08:09 Just out of the blue and having to be there for him.

08:17 Am wanting to be there for him, but just knowing how to be there for them for him was I can I can trace that directly back to you showing me and and modeling the importance of prayer. He lost his battle with cancer within six months, but he didn't lose his faith and

08:44 I'm so glad that I was able to be there for him and the support for him and that was earlier this year.

08:54 And so it I can't thank you is just not enough, you know, but I feel like you need to know that as well.

09:08 There's just so many instances that I could give examples of.

09:16 But I

09:20 Right now it'll just kind of full about it, but I'm thankful for the ability to tell you because

09:28 Being 60 years old. I'm looking back now and I'm thinking

09:33 You know Donna you got a lot of people you could really think for their influence and in your life in the impact that they're you know there whatever they sewed into your life has made and so this is such a great opportunity. I'm so glad that this is one time that

09:54 I'm able to look at face to face and say that you know to let you know just a few of the things.

10:02 That have happened and I've been able to stand not fall apart not being despair. But as you said to be hopeful.

10:14 In the midst of it

10:19 So, I guess once again I'm saying, thank you.

10:24 Although I do that. Thank you is really just

10:28 The tip of the iceberg I owe you so much and it's it's nothing that I can repay.

10:38 Other than for you to have the knowledge of what you've done for me.

10:44 That's true friendship to me.

10:47 It's just giving.

10:51 Not knowing

10:54 In its impact, but you do it because you feel like it's the right thing to do.

11:07 I will say.

11:09 And if that is more than gratitude being

11:16 Here and inviting me and sharing with me face to face.

11:21 Something that I don't even as you said, I don't know the impact neither do I?

11:28 Neither do I even take hold of his?

11:33 Something that is is mine, but it's just something that I've had the opportunity to share.

11:45 The things that you have described

11:49 I just as profound to me as they are to you.

11:54 And

11:57 I think that.

12:03 A lot of times is is a Christian is a believer.

12:07 I have learned or or practice inviting God into my life through prayer, but what I've learned.

12:19 Over the last three years is that God is inviting us.

12:26 TN.

12:29 So being connected to you and your stories.

12:36 Has somehow connected me into God's heart.

12:43 And into a crater more broader playing.

12:51 That is definitely beyond me.

12:56 And I think that that's one reason I don't I don't know for sure. But I think that's one reason why you know he

13:05 Kia

13:07 Encourage me to call this meeting and this is gathering. Wow, because it's just one. Wow after another.

13:18 Aunt

13:20 Each woman is a while each story, you know every testimony.

13:29 And even is you describing in the face of loss of discouragement disappointment?

13:39 And even death

13:42 We can see and be assured.

13:48 Good that we didn't so much as have to ask him to intervene.

13:55 But that he invited us.

13:58 To see that he was already there and so I can say thank you to you.

14:06 For

14:08 Receiving the invitation so that I would have a peek into his heart and his mind and his thoughts and his plans for you and your family. I feel like I should say to that you don't mean it sounds like it was such a beautiful road that we travel but it's really stuff that you like so much sacrifice and you had to do and I remember when you invite it so starting with the time at your house and then I'm not even sure how

14:52 How much later that you started the phone call where you offered women to join a group call and it was specifically and I don't want to misrepresent. So let me know what you invited women to get on the call for an hour each week to pray for men and

15:24 I'm going to tell you don't I just was like I don't need to add another thing to my plate, right? You know, it's one thing. I mean, I appreciate it, you know the opportunity come to your house and everything, but you were saying a weekly call for an hour to pray for men. And of course, it's before any of this stuff happened in my life right up. I guess I thought I was on you know, I'm Smooth, Sailin Road.

15:54 I really had to seriously think about that about whether I wanted to make that commitment and what would that be? You know, what up? What am I going to talk about? What are we going to talk about for? Absolutely, you know for an hour about men and and did I want to give them that much money that much of my time and attention but even in as you begin that at

16:21 What makes you what made you do that? I guess that's what I want to ask what made that I mean, it would be one thing to say.

16:29 Once a month or every so often but I mean, you said weekly I'm going to be here.

16:38 On this group call for anybody who wants to come in.

16:46 I'm like

16:48 What made you do that?

16:54 Well

16:56 As I said a lot of times.

17:01 In the moment, I don't know but

17:06 In that moment when I was deciding how often are I was thinking and pondering once a month?

17:18 Once a quarter, would it look like it had been from the time? I invited you to my home. It had been about nine years. Are you kidding me 9 years.

17:34 And Allied head transpired over those nine years, of course, so at this point in determining the time

17:45 The question was

17:50 And still is

17:52 Are men worth it.

17:58 Are they worth it? And

18:03 Donna I wanted to believe so much in my heart that they were

18:10 And so I started it.

18:13 I'm merely believing.

18:16 If they were worth it, not so much it snowing by believing.

18:24 And 3 years later

18:28 I would say.

18:31 That I'm closer to knowing.

18:33 That I have seen.

18:37 God Work miraculously

18:41 And not

18:46 That he has not work with and in the lives of men.

18:51 But that he's worked in.

18:56 The lives in the hearts of the women

19:00 Who join that call once a week?

19:04 To join with me and believe it even if they didn't know even as you said if you felt like

19:12 Do I want to give them that much time?

19:15 Give me cuz even your question like are they worth it and that?

19:22 What from your experience makes you even have that question that will even lead to that call.

19:30 Well the call going to say what I mean by that the call was born out of discouragement.

19:40 It was born out of a place of desperation.

19:45 And it was born out of a place of disappointment.

19:52 The call

19:54 What represents?

19:58 A cry

20:01 To God

20:05 That only he can answer.

20:09 And it was a cry that I didn't even know how to put into words.

20:16 A cry that he had to

20:22 Initiate for me

20:27 And so out of that place of desperation.

20:34 He burped out of out of desperation out of disappointment and despair of discouragement he burped.

20:43 Out of me desire so you so are you saying like, I'm disappointing experiences in your own life or something or or or in the lives of other people us those of us that you invited? I guess that's what I'm that's the part. I'm trying to understand not that you know, there's any straight answer to it or anything like that. I'm just wondering

21:10 What made you be so faithful to him? So sure because every step you took it it was like you were just so sure that this was a thing to do and

21:24 Was it your own experience that led to that are absolutely it was?

21:32 It was both my own experience as well as the experiences of those around me one thing about.

21:43 Being

21:46 In community being in this world being alive is it?

21:52 Do you so personally feel like you're the only one that is experiencing something whether it is Joy or sorrow, there are so many around you with the same experience and

22:10 What I began to do was open up my eyes and my heart to those experiences around me to women who have had stories of betrayal.

22:27 Of

22:29 Men that had let them down whether it was the father.

22:36 Whether it was made absolute, you know that these again please, next. Is that we share whether it was a brother who won looked up to or that

22:56 May have disappointed in another way or whether it was a boyfriend.

23:03 A stranger

23:06 Whatever the the story was I began to open up my stories and experiences and as I did that.

23:17 I found it. It was a connection with others and do I did not know when I invited the first Core group of women. I didn't know most of you all's personal stories, but during the of the next three years those stories began to unfold and it was it was not.

23:48 That was not even intentional. I didn't know that those stories but it was definitely organic and it was necessary in order for us to find that hope that I described from the very beginning. There's something about

24:06 Despair and disappointment then when that when opened up in the right way can lead to Hope

24:17 I think there was even some things that I like the whole daddy issues that I had, you know from not going out with my dad and even for me now saying my dad right not going out with him.

24:36 I had just like put that in a place.

24:42 Where I couldn't feel anything about it. And so then here you come on this phone call didn't you know and you're talkin about fathers and

24:57 The role in how God created, you know God's order of things and and how important fathers are and you just forgetting talk about all these things that I really didn't want to talk about because my thoughts about my dad were in this, you know, they were in the lockbox.

25:19 And I was comfortable with him right there and you know somehow you had you have the key to that lock box and and it open it up. So it didn't the conversations.

25:34 Didn't always feel good.

25:37 I agree and what they were good.

25:45 And we're good. I agree the conversations were not we're not always comfortable most of times. We're very uncomfortable.

26:00 Has been to be an African American women African American community in the problems that we've suffered. I don't mean to interrupt but just so many Dynamics were there. Yes.

26:15 I mean if you just take fatherlessness.

26:19 Just that alone in the whole the gaping hole that that leaves in a child's heart.

26:31 Leaves room for so many other places in our in our hearts for disappointment and discouragement. It's almost like it leads us down that road. But what I found that God was doing as such a loving father through this call and through this ministry is that he was leading us away from the path that that gaping hole there too, and he was leading us to a place of wholeness and that's something that

27:15 I didn't expect I didn't even honestly God wowed me book and he always does but he blew my mind because

27:28 Will you go out with your father so will half the time and I was definitely a daddy's girl and feel am I will admit that nothing that that led to even a greater amount of disappointment because I had a great expectation because he had set a standard.

27:55 And then he let that same standard down.

27:59 So

28:03 When so actually

28:07 I even looked at God in the same way that okay, you set the standard, but will you let me down?

28:17 And so I doubt it and inhale God at a distance in certain areas of my own heart, you know when you when it comes to saying father.

28:34 You know, it was like, I don't know.

28:37 I was so comfortable with Jesus brother Lord father. Yeah, so I can definitely where I didn't know what that meant to call anybody father, you know in this life.

28:58 I knew him but you know father was too important a term exactly to attributed to

29:07 The person who was part of getting me here and yet I didn't know didn't feel didn't feel anything didn't allow myself to feel anything. So father to me that's like fire fatherlessness.

29:26 Even though you know your father is but if you have not been father did a ride then it's you know, you kind of like in a place. I was kind of like in a place even though I mean hello, I was a grown woman fully grown woman right yet. They're still these issues. It's not like oh you outgrow the issues. I didn't outgrow the issues. They were there like I said in the lock box until until you Johari.

29:55 Going back to what you said earlier about your experience at that at my house.

30:06 I

30:07 See that is the door.

30:12 That opened up a place.

30:16 Born for you and so many other women I didn't know but it's opened up a door.

30:24 Because one thing that you said was that you never even really thought about those men or bringing them to the Forefront in that way. But until we experienced something with a father then we don't think about the other half of his creation. How can we and so is is

30:49 Give me NASA's women as his women and his women it if if I don't relate to him in that way, then I'm continuing just like we do with our natural fathers to search and if I'm searching and I'm looking and I'm longing then those even those that I love I can't help.

31:14 You know pray or help connect them to the source because I haven't found it. So I think that the door has been opened in that. I really truly believe that that is what the women of wailing is all about. It's about the door of our hearts opening and that's the ministry that that you started as a result right at the ministry of that invitation. Absolutely. Yes women upwelling that's the name of it and that again is a is a door is a door into a place of being loved being cherished.

31:57 Belonging being named

32:02 You know being remembered as been a place of healing for me absolutely in places where I'd I didn't know I was hurting or it's also been a pathway to be able to be strong.

32:21 For the storms that will be prepared for the storms that were going to come in my life that I I had no idea you were going to be there like with my son and with my brother Kenneth I just want to say is yes.

32:35 So

32:40 Thank you for the healing. Thank you for

32:45 Thank you for opening the door to your home. But even before that open the door to your heart and

32:57 In being used to make a difference and even to this day in this 60 year old woman's life you talked about Hope earlier.

33:09 I am so hopeful for so many things and I can tie them directly back as it regards to men and as it regards even in the African American community and also not just African-Americans, but men. And God's design and I can type that directly back.

33:35 To you

33:38 And that's really what I wanted you to know and to hear and I want it.

33:46 If possible for the world to know that no one woman's life your life has made a difference. I know in mine and also do and so many others who may have not have gotten this opportunity.

34:00 Yet to tell you face to face.

34:05 I believe that the story will continue to be written. I believe it. There are so many women whose

34:19 Stories are locked up in their hearts.

34:23 And that women of Welling I believe that women of Welling are all over the world and I believe it.

34:37 They're just waiting for their hearts for that door to be open so that they can say two can share.

34:47 In the hope

34:49 That we have

34:52 For I mean

34:54 Because they truly are our men.

34:58 And do it.

35:00 This again is a privilege and an honor. I don't take it lightly that this is going out.

35:10 Now but also

35:13 Is recorded

35:15 Because I also think as I said that God is writing the story eternally, but that it will be generations to come they will hear it.

35:25 And we'll also say I have a story to share.

35:31 And I don't want my story to end in despair.

35:37 Or in discouragement

35:40 Or even in death

35:43 Because even is you said your your brother's name? I felt like he lives on and because you have hope in your heart.

35:54 Or better life for him and for all men that are stories.

36:07 Truly

36:08 Begin with hope

36:13 And that's what women in upwelling is all about.

36:17 I love to treat you to a sorbet after this.

36:23 Thank you, my sister. I love you. I love you too, Harry and got so much to thank God for you.