Michelle Murray and Kendal Murray

00:01 Hello, my name is Kenneth Murray. I am 19 years old. Today is March 5th, The 20/20 eyewear in Las Cruces and interviewing my Mother's Day.

00:09 My name is Michelle Murray Dykes. I'm 49 years old. Today is March 5th 2020. We are in Las Cruces, New Mexico and I'm here with my son. The first question is what was your primary job in the Army to 14 Tanglewood was a patriot missile enhanced operator and maintainer and they enhance part just means I know I understand schematics and how to do the electrical.

00:48 Components how to repair how to troubleshoot that in the Patriot missile system those and to do what we call proximity kills it to intercept.

01:06 Ballistic missiles icbm's so what'll happen is that is as Latias get missiles coming in The Patriot is designed to explode around it. And when it explodes around it if forces that's good to detonate or whatever other kind of missile that is so and it was actually discovered by accident in the original in the first Persian Gulf or because they thought they just had the fire in a ship Target store by accident we found out. Oh, hey if it gets close enough, you don't make that thing that next so it was at the NYC right before or is this like, you know a happy accident? I remember that my recruiter was so excited about this job and this movie Patriot Games that just came out and I scored really high on my test.

02:02 And he says I'm so excited because I get to offer you this particular job just Patriot job, cuz I don't give a lot of people who come in here that qualify for it. And I said Patriot, what does that because I originally said before the Gulf War. So we hadn't discovered on his cool things about Patriot. And I said, what is that? And he said have you seen the movie Patriot Games? And I said, yeah and he says remember that big room with all the electronics and when it came time for war they had to talk to the main character that will be you and it's a sign me up. Yes. I want to do that and my dad was anything but that but that was when I signed up for all right. Goodnight.

02:51 So what did you spend the majority of your service overseas stateside?

03:00 As far as if you just look at my duty stations, it'll stay Fort Bliss and Germany spread out over 20 years, but in all actuality.

03:08 When I separated from the military when I get my DD-214, there was a black to sit fste and had 11 years in 14 weeks. And I said hey, what's that in the lady says Foreign Service time and I said what I said, what's that and she's innocent cuz I didn't spend 11 years and turn me and she says no, that's all your deployments and it's right there. That's so interesting ly I spent 11 years and 14 weeks of my life in the Middle East apparently and in SoDo that wasn't a duty assignment. That's where I was the longest but Fort Bliss and handle Germany. I never set out to go to school for language. So I wonder if unattractive City social Linguistics originally and because I had been deployed so much and been in so many places.

04:08 The first thing I would do I always would get with the in my guys the military intelligence guys and I'd have them start teaching me the local languages and I got really good at some of them Arabic was going or do in Farsi, which I have other stories about that. But german, yes, I became fluent in German and French and Italian and Spanish and then there's some other languages that are less proficient, but you know that I could go shopping I could go eat out in a restaurant and be okay. So lots of lots of languages in Germany actually studied So Much German that the lady at the local University. She says, you know where you only one credit shy from a degree. You just need to go ahead and get that degree in that in part of that was because when I get to Germany, I remember catching the bus to go downtown and I was reading out of the little book The Little Taurus kyleigh what you say

05:07 And apparently it made no sense to the bus driver and he was out of patience for me and my shenanigans that day and he's just like I don't know what he said to me, but it sounded rough and it made me want to cry and so after that I was like no I'm taking an official German class and it was great cuz I got to do a lot of traveling and so it was it was nice. Like I remember being on the beach in the French Riviera and there were some Italians there and they didn't speak English. I don't speak Italian, but then we both spoke German that we were able to communicate and you know, there's a lot of instances like that and it was really awesome City. I mean special people show my mentors or leaves to you.

05:53 Mentors

05:57 You know, if you can't that's an interesting question because something I always have my soldiers don't think that a mentor has to outrank you or be older than you, you know, what you could very easily be a staff sergeant and have some private Mentor you in some form or fashion was the mindset always instilled in my soldiers.

06:14 Definitely, Smith Colonel Forrest Smith is one because

06:20 She taught me about embracing the spirit of the rules and not just the letter of the rules or the law. Yes, there's rules yesterday's laws, but are there times when we would need to really see what's going on with our soldier and find you know, and going to be on that I would tell you. Yeah, I've had I've had some get this over there so many it's hard to pinpoint it. But another really good one, and I hope this doesn't make me cries.

06:51 Christie's brother is bird Prieto.

07:06 I don't even know why I'm crying because it's it's happy memories associated with him. But yeah, you taught me how to be a leader. He's one of the ones that taught me when in charge be in charge and

07:22 When I first got promoted to a head just got promoted to Sergeant.

07:29 And actually you were little baby and you were in and out of the hospital, but we were getting ready to go to war and my unit was willing my first sergeant sign of potential in me that he was willing to give me a waiver to get promoted to the next Rank and I was scared to death because now you took me from being a section to use to all of a sudden I'm a platoon sergeant and now running a whole section and having hundreds of people, you know, and then I'm responsible for their for their life and

08:01 Do you know so he was one press I was definitely one who taught me how to Resource things that is not it doesn't have to all be in your head if you know how to reference and resource should be okay and it's okay to ask other people because it's a female in the military, you know, we don't especially back then cuz you have to understand I was in the unit with maybe thirteen to fifteen hundred people with three to five women in the entire unit. So is a woman you didn't want to seem like you didn't know your job. So it was highly unlikely that you were going to go ask somebody for help so he can if he was like get rid of that. Don't do that. That's silly and

08:46 He also really emphasized you have to treat each Soldier individually. I know this is a real book and it's full of rules. But you have to remember everybody's an individual like I remember I had a kid did get never keep his room clean. It was just it was terrible is a pigsty and no matter what I said to him. It was always just a mess. And so I started showing up in his room at 4 a.m. So he'd have everything clean and one day. I pulled back the shower curtain and it was like filled to the brim with trash and stuff and I was getting ready to yell at him. And then I remember okay calm down. Cuz. So says you got to figure out what's going on with the kid and his iPod and counting to ten. That's when I realized

09:33 Apparently this is just kids normal. This is what he's used to cuz he was only like 18 or maybe 19 is your age.

09:40 Until I realize it he's this is his first trip away from home. And if he's doing this this must have been what went on at home. And when I ask a question sure enough, he grew up with a disabled grandma and whenever Social Services to come out to do a text you would throw everything in the trash. Can I mean everything in the bathtub and then they would go empty it out later. And so in that moment to him is like I was a protective services and I was coming to do an inspection. So you threw everything is it Anyway cast?

10:10 Will definitely get Mentor because he helped me to be able to see the individuality and people tell us are probably the two.

10:18 Biggest but there's there's lots of them. I was really blessed my whole entire time to have good leadership. So it makes me sad when I hear about soldiers who did not have good leadership that because I had I had excellent leadership my entire time in the military.

10:38 All right. Well, do you have any people going in the military especially going in at 18 and 19 years old to have it mice like

10:53 Sitwell my first bit of advice is think about why you're going in and do you have other options and if you don't have a passion for selfless service, you may not be for you because it's a service member you do you give up your self and your rights and all of that stuff for the people of this nation who are not always grateful many of them don't know what we do have no idea what we go through and kick and couldn't care less. So make sure that something that you really what to do when the explore every option.

11:33 I I know I love you for people go to college first get a job skill learned something and then if you still want to come in the military then come in with a little bit of rank on Your Collar but have a plan just like you would have a plan if you were going to med school or nursing school or whatever have a plan when you come in the military, you know, what is it? You want to learn? What is it? You want to take away? What is it? You want to leave in the military? You know, what is it? You want to achieve so definitely have a plan. That's what I would tell young people.

12:05 How do you say soldiers are fearless and you know anything, you know, I always a big smile on your face tell me about shock and awe was that a was that a mind-blowing thing? Is it like why am I here? What was that all about your mind?

12:23 Okay, so stop.

12:27 So I got promoted to staff sergeant on March 1st.

12:34 2003

12:36 And my job at that time I worked in intelligence section and I helped with light route reconnaissance.

12:45 Enemy intelligence had to do an analysis of the enemy.

12:53 You know, I was one who looked at the Intel and interpreted on whether or not Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction whether or not he had enemy Tales. That's what I was doing on March 1st. 2003, March 8th 2003. There was an accident and we had Soldier died. He was he was actually younger than you.

13:18 And it bothers me so much because I remember I had just given him his brief had just arrived and countries took 3 days before I had just briefed him. And all he wants to do is call his mother. He has cancer Are we almost done? Cuz I want to call my mom. I need to let my mom know I'm here.

13:35 And when he died, it was like it was a really it was a difficult thing for many reasons the least of which was the fact that we are responsible for dealing with his body with nobody back. But so that was on March 8th. So we're dealing with that and then on March

13:55 The night I got I'll never forget this. I was sitting in a room and we had our field computers and I'm sitting there working and I get what you guys would College chat message now. Okay, cuz he died in 2003 in the internet's new. So we didn't have a term for that at that time. But argue like this chat message that says the ground war will begin at 0000 hours on 19th, March Spotify and I looked at it and I said the ground war will be you're going to tell me via a chat message. Are you kidding me? And so then I look at my email. I know I got an email that said the same thing the ground where will begin at midnight on this time.

14:36 And I remember they were my office was it was set up kind of like this and I walked out and I walked down the hall to wear the other platoon sergeants were cuz Wednesday, I just got promoted. So I'm like brand-new to the tunes or anything and I went from having three people that I was responsible to 42503 people. I was responsible for so I go next door.

14:57 And when I say responsible for I'm in their life to bring them back home to their families. So I go next door the other since I'm sorry, and I was like it might only one that got this is us a joke was happening and everybody's something they were like, no, it's really happening and we have a brief LOL. Well, I was the briefer so you can imagine I was taken aback did not know that the ground war is about to begin and I'm the one who gives a breeze right? So I go into somebody from Cent, whose are higher headquarters came in and rcent came in to tell us the logistics and

15:32 The one that didn't sit well with me was the fact that we were instructed not to tell our soldiers that we were going to war and we were not to tell them that we were going into Iraq.

15:45 And

15:50 Yeah, that didn't sit well with me because when I was in Germany, I had a soldier goes AWOL just at the thought of going TDY somewhere so I can comprehend that we're going to go to war and not tell soldiers. Remember. I asked a question. I said was the drive down the road. You don't think they're going to see the signs to Iraq and realize they're headed for Iraq. And basically it was like what we'll deal with that when we get to it until we all had our list and it was like well, you know, make sure you got your stuff you get your stuff over to get your stuff and so it's a few days before the war but I had great difficulty with the fact that I wasn't allowed to tell soldiers. You're about to move into hostile territory.

16:30 Hey when I come home.

16:32 They might not come home.

16:35 And I have told you that where you're at. His supposed to be younger than you.

16:39 End zone

16:41 There wasn't much I could do about it. We just stay quiet. You know, I couldn't do anything about that and

16:49 I remember Sunday night I went in and we were about three days out and I talked to the so so one of things that happened I went from just being in the Intel section to having all these other responsibilities and some of the leadership they move forward into Iraq before the war started. So I became in charge of some of their soldiers. So Logistics is normally not who I was in charge of but now I was and I wouldn't talk to the supply sergeant and I said, hey, you know what we need to do an inventory you already ordered the rash and some water and all this stuff, right? And she said what?

17:23 And she said that we don't have anywhere to put that I must have been what you told ya we were I was told but we don't have to keep that tonight. That's why it angers me when you don't do what I tell you to do.

17:34 Anyway, she didn't order it and I wasn't allowed to tell her we're going to war.

17:40 All I know is that I have about 2,000 soldiers who are not going to have enough food and water now.

17:46 And people are going to be shooting at them.

17:50 One of the things that happen when we came through customs was the Saudi Arabian seized a lot of our ammunition.

18:00 They took it from us. So now we're going to war and we don't have adequate food and water and we did not have enough ammunition. So if you've ever heard of the Bible 7th maintenance company Jessica Lynch all of them, they were our subordinate unit.

18:23 And one of the reasons they got captured is cuz we didn't have ammunition and we couldn't order it at this point cuz we're just a couple days out from the war.

18:33 And there was nothing we could do to fix it. So what we did was

18:40 We got is all all the Emery's everything we could get and we just kind of rash it instead of that in our so just have three meals a day. They were restricted to two meals a day and there was going to be no hot food for a. Of time so that we can reserve that.

18:54 And then I still couldn't tell him that we were going to Iraq.

19:00 Answer you can imagine how that made me feel like I was not very at this point. I'd like I'm not happy and you were home. You're 18 months old.

19:10 In at one point both your parents were in the combat zone but

19:15 The other Mary man is to go get him back to school. So your mother going to come back down in your 18 months old.

19:23 And then I say to you what if I don't come home to you and who's going to take care of you and why am I here? I remember to act why am I here? And I remember I couldn't sleep and so the night before the more we did let mandatory sleep hygiene. We had everybody go to sleep.

19:40 Did the soldiers of course that we were crazy? They don't know why we're making them go to bed and somebody standing there on guard like making sure you go to sleep make him go to sleep cuz we're about to go to combat and I went and I locked up in my office.

19:56 And I'm and I was so like beside myself I was upset and I remember a couple people that came to check me out to get out get out, you know, don't come in here and I sat in my office with the lights off and I just prayed you know that Lord. I bring all these babies home. I had a lot of young soldiers and I was like your guide, please let me bring them home to their families. You don't let me come home to you.

20:21 And I had one of my aunt Andy's mom works at she was a civilian employee for Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.

20:28 And so we couldn't make calls week. We got all outside Communications with shut off all the military Communications, but she worked at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. And so it was that an 11:00 at night. So it was daytime there and I called her I got to call through to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and ask her to call the babysitter where you are cuz if I got killed you were going to live with the babysitter for the rest of your life and you for a little bit and infamy in a little better spirits in and out, you know, I was in a better headspace and then I remember sitting

21:01 It's so it sounds so funny that the war was fought on a chat with the opening days of the war. We're fighting on the chat. So I remember sending I had to man my computer and its is The NAMM do this a field computers just you know, this computer has liked your video game had packed up in the box. So the military has computers like that. And so we pulled it up and the tats going so well the Colonel's all the leaders everybody's understand and I'm like, okay to Grandma wobig in 45 minutes the ground war will begin in 30 minutes and I get there was a countdown and I just remember feeling sick to my stomach because I was like, I hope everybody makes it and I hope you're not mad at me for not telling them that we were going cuz I could not tell them and so as we got I remember it was 2 minutes till woman until midnight happened. Nothing happened.

21:52 And I was like, okay, maybe the grass later. We're not going to go to war and while I'm sitting here thinking maybe we're not going to like all the installation Sirens. Going off but you know soldiers prepare does battle drill. So and I already know I'm sitting there like nice and calm cuz I already know we're going to work and then all my soldiers are they running around putting a mask on and get dressed and everybody's assembling. I mean when I was like you're already here, so yeah, cuz I've known that we're going to work.

22:24 And I remember it like my soldiers were always like family to me. We're always retired and if people knew who work for Samurai who didn't because just we were really tight and I remember, you know, like I was given the brief and I hugged each one of my soldiers because I didn't know if they would live

22:41 And I didn't know if they would get to come home and because some of my soldiers I sent away. I had to trust other leaders to take care of my soldiers.

22:50 And it wasn't a good feeling but they took care of them. But at that moment it was not a good feeling. And anyways, there's some you know, we had some units did cuz we drove cuz Patriot missiles, you can't buy them in combat. It doesn't work. That way. They're very heavy. They're very you can't use sling load them to fly them over. But then you have to drive them in position. I'm everywhere you go and do some takeout cuz we have 10838 was going to head unit someone to Turkey someone to Syria, you know, someone different places my guys were responsible for Saudi Arabia Kuwait and Iraq and let you know. I just had to watch and make sure everybody was where they're supposed to be and then I was very nervous about the guys and girls who didn't have enough food to eat or water because we're in Saudi Arabia in the desert. Where in Iraq in the desert when Kuwait in the desert,

23:50 End

23:53 I just remember watching all that and then like fireworks on the 4th of July. That's what shock and awe was like but louder.

24:01 Much much louder and so is all these fireworks things cuz it really misses scud missiles and in in Patriot missiles because the way the paperwork you have defended asset. So if this is a thing, we're protecting your going to have a patriot missile here Patriot missile here here and here and then if anything comes into it, we're going to kill it in the air, proximity key. Oh, yeah, you kill it in the air. So we had our defendant asset list and I had to make sure you know, everybody got where they were going and I remember the news and we just ask and I was like, what is he talking about? We're not here. I was like dude look at your window, but they were firing missiles above your head with but that's propaganda. That was the first time I realized how much other countries control their news media. You know, when I hear America and say how they hate America. We're not the greatest country. I know you've never traveled I know.

25:01 I've never been in a country that controls every bit of your news and so on the Iraqi news, they said no the Americans are not here and this is a lie This Is A Lie of the American dogs and don't pay it any attention stay in your house and I'm like these people have to be able to see all the stuff going over Heaven, you know, whatever Sarah like that's the opening, you know, and it was like a race because with is really cool because his we so this is the first time Patriots had ever gone into Iraq.

25:32 2 as we're racing and Patriots heavy. We don't usually move fast. It's 60 70 miles an hour. That's not something we do normally is 25-30 miles an hour and you've had two weeks to get to the site before somebody else but we're racing because what's happening is we're racing this wave to protect the Marines in front of us. And then the Air Force is above us dropping bombs on anybody. So in many respects was like really cool. It was extremely

26:09 And I remember that day like before before the night before we actually went to wear that day. I had to go out to make sure the vehicles were lined up on the ammo is on site and have a picture. I'll show you but I just remember sitting there with my first sergeant and there were six hundred Vehicles lined up. I never seen such a thing lined up in the middle of the desert looking quite Mighty and that's when I realized I know we're going to war we really are going to war but so far it for all of that those open. It is a few days later on the 23rd is when we found that members of the 507 had been captured and somehow died and some have been captured in the world was captivated by Jessica Lynch. And again, I was the one who gave all the Intel brief and I remember when it first happened they were like, you got to keep that in house. Don't let the media get a hold of the fact that this happened at this unit and I'm going to stop by and they said well because America is not ready.

27:09 See moms and daughters coming home in body bags. And that was when I first realized that America is so naive. They didn't realize women are in combat cuz everything's making a big deal now in 2020 2018 women are in combat. Then they can do women have been in combat combat arms for many many years is just not it just hadn't been spoken of I'm in there were so few of us. That's why many people didn't didn't realize that but yeah, I had some friends the first sergeant. They got killed in the 507. He was a friend of a close personal friend, you know, those guys and girls for co-workers that we see each other in the motor pool. Hey, how you doing to each other at different events or not?

27:56 We it was all eyes on that. We all wanted to make sure they were okay cuz they were truly our brothers and sisters and of course, you know, the Marines came in and and rescued them Sue.

28:10 You know, it was very emotional very tense. It was new for Patriot Patriot had never been in the Forefront of you know entrance into a country like that. We have never done that to you know, and I remember a patriot missile. I mean a scud missile impacting where our Brigade Commander wasn't almost killed him, but I got to stick it out and it was light you known as a boost of confidence and but it was scary at the same time. They discussed missile to come in and out clothes and almost killed everybody. We took me and I will check it out so bad as a soldier, you know, you you pray you never have to do your job. But when you have to do your job you're going to go do it. Well, you can go do it to the best of your abilities. And so that's what you like and I was like,

29:05 So what was the process like what did Barry die cut and dry then you for your service or was it like, you know like last day on the job quite like the one to go home tonight feels so it's never cut and dry, you know, the military is all about ceremony. So do you know they have different ceremonies and awards ceremony is a different things that go on before you leave, but I remember I couldn't wait to get out and because I had just wrapped up chemo and radiation from thyroid cancer, and I finally got cleared by the doctor. Everything was in remission. I was great and I said I can go get a drill sergeant. Do I had little bit of you?

29:48 And I wasn't well enough to go be a drill sergeant cuz drill sergeants work like 20 hours a day and I already had a profile to save work 4 hours a day for the next 6 months and

30:00 So I remember I told my Branch gyno can't do that need to do something else and he said Okay, cool so we can put you in a minute team. So I meant team over in Iraq. They're the ones that go kicking in doors going house to house looking for bad guy and I can't remember. I think it was a 15 month deployment and I had a little bit of you and I was like No And that's if you work all day everyday you're going to kill me and it's okay, you know, I find Dennis time I'm done and I remember my branch manager Samurai. You're not going anywhere your soldier for life. And I said watch me so I put it on my paperwork and that was that but then when I had that one clock appointment to go out process essay. Oh, wait a minute.

30:40 Did I do the right thing here? And I remember I said in my car and my my truck and I like Panic for a little bit, but then I went in and out process and then I came back and I panicked some more and I called my colonel, colonel Smith and I said hey, I think I made a mistake so I just found out but can I stay for a while that can we undo this with an ultimately, you know, I got out and that was that a key difference between a civilian life in the life of attitudes.

31:16 Order and discipline

31:18 Order and discipline or Elizabeth in because I didn't fax everything else. So that's definitely taken some getting used to on my part and also purpose Direction and motivation because from my perspective many civilians have never had anybody instill that in them. They don't even know what it is answer for somebody like me who has had a very ordered adult life.

31:43 That's difficult to deal with sometimes. So that's prompted to the teacher in me too often come out because I do try to instill that in people.

31:52 So do you have any advice for people coming out the military as well? Like

32:02 Make a plan if you get out and you don't have a plan you can be on your back. So yeah, and people need to make a plan or they going to go to school or are they playing for a job with the timeline? Do they have enough money to retire on, you know make a plan.

32:23 Or they'll be sorry.

32:28 If there's anything you can go back and change, would you do you change an Westwood you change, you know station would you?

32:36 James you know basic training.

32:41 Went into thing.

32:44 Went into thing. Yeah, everything has served a purpose in some form or fashion to make me who I am. So

32:55 Do you say keep up in touch with any of your name? So you guys have feel like 10 year anniversary a five-year anniversary is like to do Facebook and we just had when my group from Germany.

33:12 But yeah, we keep in touch via phone visit each other Facebook email. Yeah. We absolutely keep in touch just about all my former soldiers. Absolutely. Keep in touch and many of my leaders. We keep in touch. Any advice really don't sacrifice your family for the military cuz the military will come and go

33:43 And so will your family if you don't take credit?

33:48 You know, I know it's a mission first, but family needs to be first to.

33:55 War tank with my questions and play. Thank you for your time. And thank you for interview 5 minutes left. Do you mind if I ask ya? No?

34:13 Kendal can you talk to your mom about what it's been like as a child of two military folks and how that has shaped your life. All right, very high standards and expectations to keep up cuz my military child people expect you to be on your best all the time. So that's its with me anyway, so I don't know for myself and you know doing bad habits before that cuz I know my parents expect more of me. I know they've taught me to be better if I know so stupid this guy thing back in a teacher because men are no motivation and has the best way to shape my life.

35:00 I appreciate that. And honestly, I appreciate you putting up with all the things that come with military service to you know.

35:11 Is there such thing as a little guy and I appreciate you always being a good kid and and kind of facilitating my ability to serve the nation. So thank you for thank you and thanks for meeting us high standards.