Nalayini Gunanayagam and Yagulan Srikumar

00:02 Hi, my name's Yahoo! District Mar. I am 19 years old. Today is Thursday, August 13th, 2020. I am currently located in Livermore, California, which is in the San Francisco Bay area. And nelani Auntie is a conversation partner.

00:24 My name is Melanie good and I don't and I am 66 years old and today is Thursday, August 13th. 2020. I'm in San Jose California and my conversation partner is Yahoo. He calls me auntie because people are so whatever and yeah, he said he's a longtime sound of a long time friend.

01:00 Since I was probably work like 2 years old, that's been a while.

01:12 As for our what we identify as you know, we are tumble, right? We are Sri Lankan tamils and how would you really go about expressing that?

01:24 And I owe me.

01:28 Are you?

01:30 The difference between I'm going to come over but when I was Sri Lankan tamils in Sri Lanka, so I've been really marginalized. So that's why we cling onto that identity. You know, it's like really strong because the Sri Lankan Tamil not download from anywhere else so that that's really that and all the riots and programs at them over the last 50 years. Since Independence is really what defines of Sri Lankan tamils got it. So it's like almost like I separate ethnic group because of our shared experiences as a people.

02:16 Yeah, I know the recent vice president. That is Kamala Harris. And I know she is also have some old chess. Yeah.

02:34 Did you see the picture I sent you this morning? Really cool. Yeah, it's it's it's, like, Harris and her sister and her nieces with their grandparents in a sorry, you know, I think it's an important. It's important to understand, you know, different ethnic groups and where they come from as well as their shared experiences.

03:13 Going off of that though kind of figured I came off of that. What about you? What's your story? I guess in a brief.

03:22 Oh me I was I was the Temple of us born in jaffna. And what was the salon? So that was my Heritage but I grew up in in a different area called peradeniya candy in the central problem. So it's it's that area was a mix of people. So I grew up speaking all three languages spoken in Sri Lanka beaches Tamil song allergist and English Sri Lanka coming there was still on then and went to England to study because my father went outside the country. So I'm one of those people who never got caught in the riot personally, but my mother got caught and so on so I really have a really happy childhood memory. So I keep going back on the last several years I keep going back there.

04:22 Was several months at a time and he came to the US much much later. Not directly from Salon but from England, so I'm a mixture of lots of things growing up in England and living over here in in San Jose. So liberal whatever accept and tolerant all sorts of things that the Bay Area has given me but still interesting to hear especially because in my family you've mentioned how you like

05:03 Enjoy going back to Sri Lanka to

05:07 Can a visit because we have happy memories. It's interesting. And so did my father or so when we went back she went back with me to expose us to wear our heritage is and it was very difficult for her. It was very difficult. I remember her telling me once we have to do this and do that. So we don't have the same, you know, like they have, and I still do a little bit but not the same as them not the same as them who are experienced it firsthand.

06:07 But even going back there is some memories that she had some experiences that we had and it was a big leaving emotional me and my sister went a little confused as to like really understanding what they went through because we didn't we do we can't really associate with that. You understand that we raised born and raised in the Bay Area in California liberal places in the country where we grew up a very

06:43 Privileged lifestyle 1983 my first daughter and she was born just before that big riots in or destroyed so many lives and property that that's a no start of the Exodus of camels from Sri Lanka in 1983, July. And so and then my mother got caught in there and she arrived here in England a little later go independently. They're about the same age. She was more cautious about going to places. Where is other cousin who had not heard anything about this guy going everywhere taking photographs and I didn't care. I was my doctor was very very itchy on who's watching her.

07:36 Exactly. When when I think of Sri Lanka I think of the trauma.

07:53 I think I was even now to this day. The memory that I think of first is a boarding the flight back home. We were leaving Sri Lanka and my mom taking a deep breath deep breath letting it all go and she's like, yeah. I mean, I I still want to go back. I mean, I mean, it's just said I first went down after a long time. It was hard because there was no relatives the prayer place I grew up in all the buildings were there but the neighborhood Ross and the people run out there just ran back here on our way.

08:43 But now I've been I started making new relationships are not not people of my age, but younger people there are other needs their especially for women. So I not go back and I watch 3 3 months for months at a time people that think it's this really really feels nice really feels like as belonging back again, and you know one of that's one of the things about that culture is like older people are treated like aunties and taking care of him different ways. Really enjoy that very much.

09:34 English to some University students who can't really speak well and

09:46 That's a very interesting aspect of our culture to where it's I mean even like me being born here. It's always like you're expected to treat older people doesn't matter how much older they are there. Just senior to you you're expected to treat them with respect and you don't take care of them because women are also taking care of people keep an eye out for very true exactly. What is interesting to because

10:37 Although some people don't go back to the country physically.

10:42 I feel like there's that Karma to like get back, you know, you got this really you were able to leave and escape from this drama, you know and start a successful life somewhere else and you don't have a family somewhere else, but the concept of getting back is still there. You know, I'll do some people wouldn't want to

11:10 Go back physically, they still give back in terms of you. No money or other resources stuff Community. They've got involved and there's no school spline kids. No buying bicycles for kids buying books and libraries and things like that. So did they are quite a few of them to the Next Generation the one of those things where you wonder sometimes. You know, how do you keep the diaspora?

11:53 Connected I guess you would say to the motherland. Do you know cuz you see a lot of diasporas out there and

12:02 You know after a certain point they kind of identify with each other rather than with.

12:09 The country or region from where their ancestors came from I feel like that's also

12:15 Yeah, I mean that that's to write them in because. That's what you know, that's what you grew up with right now or your friends say everybody around you mean everything else is history story not lived in experience.

12:30 Literature in the Bay Area which is which has so many ethnicities and you learn to accept intolerance.

12:45 That's true. That's where we're definitely very lucky to be able to have the opportunity to come here. What are you up to these days? So I am going to University in Indiana University and

13:08 It's interesting. I chose to go to Indiana for University because I felt that growing up here.

13:18 It is an incredible opportunity and it's an example of the privileged that I have not in terms of monetary or

13:29 Like

13:30 Material freedom but also the ability to grow up in a community where everything and everyone is accepted, you know here in the Bay Area and I felt I needed to experience what it's like to go somewhere else what other people are like, you know, because after a certain point you kind of grow immune to other people that knew but like other people who have different beliefs, right and you expect everyone to have the same beliefs. That's why I chose to go there partially compared to some other universities that I got into because not only is the education a great education but you getting tonight.

14:21 I don't know I'm a big thing is also like my father would always talk about you no commentary and experiences that he went through, you know, as someone of color as a person when you first came here when he first came here and we got them on the part when you're at home and that's that's how I've known him since then since he was a kid and somebody else and then yeah, and since they've got it we got them apart when you're at home.

15:06 Which is a nice decent apartment in people will come in and stay there for a while till they find their feet and their legs and then then Tamil Refugee for a lot of people coming through San Jose.

15:22 That's a very interesting but basically also like, you know, as a family we would discuss, you know, how to handle certain experiences particularly. Those of people will be no being racially ignorant and not understanding you know, who you are or where you come from and it was interesting because growing up in this community. I didn't experience so much of that it may have been because I am so

15:57 American Pie

16:00 How I was raised, you know, the only difference is that at home, you know, even though my family is a Sri Lankan Tamil family. We still speak English for the most part. I don't have an accent. You know, I only thing that someone would notice right off the bat is due to the color of my skin.

16:20 Yeah, and also, I mean you you grow up you mean you were born and raised Tia and kids a little different because when you're when you're little you just know kids might be just more Curious they may and they may not identify with somebody else. You just another kid playing with him. I look very traditional. I mean, I don't I mean I don't wear a saree all the time. I'm in the gym clothes, but I have a port to always have that ever since I was small and I always kept it and that's okay some used to and that kind of triggers people into thinking I don't know English so I can speak English or something else. I thought I had that experience throughout my life here starting to speak slowly to me.

17:17 Really? Yeah, I mean something else was a British colony. So everybody knew about Sri Lanka Salon in so that you know, there was very overt racism. But otherwise that you didn't know anything it's more so you're just generalized.

17:54 That's also a very significant part to because like

17:58 I have a child, you know, you're very open and accepting like for example, the first thing that comes to mind is that you know in elementary school when it was your birthday cupcake cake, my mother made Cassidy a very traditional I would bring it to class every year on my birthday and that was kind of a way of

18:27 Making sure that everyone understood you know, who I am it gets that in as well, you know and for like, you know, my mother I remember this great art teacher my mom came into class, you know talked about our culture in a sorry, OK and it was different but a day didn't see it as a impairment of wow. This is so cool. It's an opportunity to learn.

19:14 I've always seen it as that because that's the only context I ever see my mother interacting with other people in our my father attracted for the people, right? And in that setting it's more of an educational opportunity and my parents are the teachers.

19:31 I mean your father interacting with non family on on.

19:42 Don't really know about Sri Lanka and our culture and I never really understood it because

20:00 I thought you know.

20:03 I never assumed it was race of them always assumed it with you know, that person is just being mean, you know, maybe they're being like racist or just someone being rude to you. You know, how do you know that they're saying something offencive on the basis of the color of your skin? That was always an interesting question, but I would have to you know, when someone to say something that's the first thing we do go through my head unit. My father taught me enough.

20:35 Is it because of the color of your skin that they're saying this?

20:44 All right. I mean sometimes sometimes we'll call it passive aggressive. Maybe my my kids different is a little different because I'm in I'm in an area while it's got more people now but kids went to school. There was a Hispanic black African American and white but very few brown or Asian people in the area and my. Came one day at a time.

21:25 So I know he's in elementary school. She was she was always a little different because she'd be singing should be singing and she said yeah, why are you weird? Because they say I'm weird because I'm singing are you singing in class and you would did not disturbing anybody fine, but don't say anything and just do people thought they were fine so you can be weird, but true that experience kind of Reno in her Waveland.

22:05 I thought that very very different from childhood for them from you because of the mix of the community that you live in I think Livermore was more head last.

22:23 People of color before and I think people started to come here after the quote of the temple was in the room or drew a large crowd of people that were Hindu not necessary.

22:48 Southeast Asian what team do in general and at that point it became very interesting because people

23:00 Would think I was cool for being able to go to the temple, you know, who likes to drive with it look like it was so when we came in in 1986, they had just built it and just consecrated it so that the powers were there but outside didn't have anything closed and closed it was so we went there during an afternoon. It was so hot and then cold because it was no covering so not what you experience now is everything's covered and all nice and you know, cool and different. So when we first came was really really

24:00 Really different traditional Sri Lankan Kizi

24:19 And everyone would always question. You know what I was eating because that's how I feel. Like that's one of those things, you know as a child, you know, you have your little group of friends you all sit down you open up your lunches together you compare what you all have. You know me today. I want to try that.

24:39 For me, it was always like oh, what is that? Okay. It's not working, right?

24:53 At that time I was always looking so very basic you.

25:11 My kids are not so lucky.

25:15 But it was also in.

25:26 It was just like the conversations. I would come home and have to for like I think that's what they're called that bind together. A lot of people's parents would just throw one of those in their lunch boxes and call it a day. You know, I would come home and ask my mother I want that and I might say that's not necessarily the healthiest option. All right.

25:58 So I want you to eat what I want to cook for you. I don't have to work using you have tumor. That's really good for your immune system gave me everything she gave and

26:14 Sometimes I didn't like it. Sometimes I wanted like the other kids, you know sharing.

26:21 Smokers with each other their parents name

26:31 Although no one would

26:34 Say anything outside of that time. Lunch time is always one of those times where everyone share their food, except. I don't think anyone wants to buy food.

26:44 Oh, really? So you did you mean you didn't Cheryl didn't ask?

26:49 Agent wanted I offer and they pay with everyone else. That looks gross.

27:04 And we would have discussions over there. So bad that.

27:11 I beg. Ma to start making a note roast beef sandwiches or like

27:18 Give me an alternate and that's when my mother started learning how to cook Western Cuisine meals are predominantly Western pasta, very common in our family now being an immigrant later after my dad came to the country cuz my father came he was 17 because of that. She only knew how to cook. Qzine in Tazewell.

27:59 They had you know.

28:02 Service in Sri Lanka

28:09 It was a process for her even to learn how to cook Sri Lankan Cuisine, you know, she learned little bit with her and here and there but it wasn't like she's grown up cooking because in Sri Lanka they have people to do that for you. So so when I was in England, I left him. I know I live with my aunt. I was 14 I went there and it was cold and all that food was kind of like you didn't have groceries limited and so on so she's basically make three things right chicken patty Booth a replace lentils and potato Columbia like gravy with potato.

28:53 Even getting lentils was not easy because there weren't that many stores close by but lentils so I was being a vegetarian lentils so I didn't know how to cook. So when I went to University, I started ask my mother. Okay for recipes and do eventually my uncle my father's brother sent me a book called vegetarian cooking in Tamil. So that's how I started learning how to cook the food that we eat. But even then they'll put it there did they had old measurements like 1:10 or something? How big is it in nursing that you put away and that that's the size of the tent. So it's like once there was no measuring things or anything like that. So it's just like

29:53 Two things away into it and but you said to Mary is always part of everything.

30:02 Every dish, and even Columbia open or chili powder has some some other things in the Android so on but like the memories of you know, trying to learn how to cook it. Just seeing my mom taking a handful do something and just throw it inside the pot and I'm like I do, you know, how much in my mind like weight of lentils? Okay, let's go.

30:54 And it's very interesting cuz that's how that to Venus 2 and it's often, you know.

30:59 Rather than following a recipe you kind of taste in do you cook I do actually I do love cooking. However, I still don't know how to cook Sri Lankan food. Oh my. That me not to eat. So she she got one of those and this time I when I went back, she said she's misplaced her and she's so I brought that one really really fat in English so you can follow through and do your cooking.

31:40 So interesting, it's the perfect. I felt like it was one of those things where my father used to be vegetarian when he was younger.

32:17 I kind of wanted to find out one of my best friends and I asked her, you know about like the reasoning as to why they don't eat pork that I just found out about all of that significance behind that and how it wasn't religious but it became religious due to health issues that come with it. Then I realized you know, I'm going to give up the more I think about it the more I kind of looks and then I never liked the chicken. I always thought they were really cute and I wanted to like eat it. Would you stop chickens and a honeysuckle?

33:12 Emma this is only eat like this cute animal associated with it and I can play with it and I have fun with it is in my mind that that animal that's a lot growing up. I ate it because it just showed up as like me on my plate, and my husband but I know they had no hands running around and he don't know I want to eat it.

34:07 So he's grew up eating chicken you probably they did the same thing when he was small, but after living somewhere else and going back there and sing the chicken running around the yard. She just said no don't don't cook it. I got it. Exactly right. I don't know. It's very it's very interesting and I feel like that's the reason as to why a lot of people people don't associate meet with that young people may not

34:46 Exactly. Exactly cuz it just shows up on your fish have always been one of those things but

34:58 I never feel like

35:00 They suffer as much they do have as much of a emotional connection with them and I always love this growing up. It was my favorite to eat. So I just don't think I'd ever be able to get better.

35:19 I ate meat when I was in England, but I never could eat meat with traditional dishes. I mean I eat hamburgers and things like that because I was supposed to do that to mean that was nothing else at school. The school lunches were like sausages and sausages and sausages. So I ate but then once I've been I got that got here to the Bay Area like in 86 and there was I think you have a choice of other choices and I stopped eating and now I can't eat it just because I don't like the taste of the smell. I mean no no religious reason or anything like that. Yeah.

35:53 Yeah, I know. So why I said no younger people may not realize it's like or as you get older you get to know about this, but then you get immune to certain things to know you just don't pay attention.

36:04 Right, you know everything around you.

36:17 I guess I'd even goes for like World matter is it's why you know Millennials and gen Z are so passionate about the world. We live in because we believe we can change it and he said no, I'm not going to hold why why why do any different so then I sent him some articles and finally he called me back and said, okay, I'll Road and some of my friends. I also told him told them and they're going to vote.

37:03 And another interesting kind of side note to that too is like

37:09 Sometimes people don't separate American politics with politics from their home country. For example, When Donald Trump was running for pets a lot of people pray for him because of his friendship with President Modi prime minister, and I know people personally that voted simply because Donald Trump is friends with Prime Minister Modi going into the politics in the policies that their parents are both India. However, they are living in the United States, but they chose to vote for him simply because of his association with prime minister. So it's almost like they're so caught up in the politics and everything is happening. Come directly associated with

38:09 Shoes that are there at hand and it's very interesting concept.

38:17 Oh, I mean modi's another story.

38:26 I guess.

38:28 Being raised here is definitely

38:31 An interesting experience

38:34 Yeah, I talked about talked about so many things in terms of what if what if what if I hadn't left when I was 14 what if I had stayed there but then I didn't get the whole experience of living here. They're everything, you know setbacks of everything that you go through is what brings us to who we are right now and I like who I am right now, so that's good enough for me.

39:02 Breakfast restaurant things that I could have done. No, I should have done.

39:08 That's true. And I feel like as a young person. That's also why we feel such a strong desire to live in the world is because our activism in the world shapes who we are and for example, like my choice to go to Indiana I got into school as I got in the multiple schools that are equally as beneficial, but I know you know, what will impact my life right stop and that was a very interesting.

39:36 Thought process, you know, like I know who I want to be One X.

39:45 And so maybe be coming to the end last question. Maybe I have one question for you. Okay, who would you have wanted Vice President Biden Omega, Pete Yorn, Indiana?

40:04 For presidential

40:10 Well, I agree with a lot of what he says, but I feel like another thing with me is also voting for who would

40:22 Have the most leverage in the election so I would have voted for by that if I if I had to vote between the two to come up with like the Democratic nominee. I would have voted for on the basis of

40:34 I align my ideals with people reject but

40:40 I thought for him will.

40:43 Would that be enough for him to win against Donald Trump?

40:48 Right. That's why I voted for.

40:55 All right.