Nicole Parker and Nicole Triplett

[00:03] NICOLE PARKER: All right. I am Nicole Parker age 36. Today is July 21, 2023, and we are located in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And I have the pleasure of interviewing Nicole Triplett who is a sister, friend, mentor, business partner, and so many more things.

[00:21] NICOLE TRIPLETT: And I am also a Nicole I'm Nicole Triplett I am 44. This is July 21, 2023. So we are interviewing each other on the same date at the same location, and she is my partner, my friend, my sister, my sounding board. So this should be an easy conversation and a fun conversation. So what are we going to talk about today?

[00:50] NICOLE PARKER: You know, I feel like there is so much that we can cause. We talk about everything all the time, from business, love, community, balance, self care. You name it, we talk about it. So. Hmm.

[01:05] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So this should be relatable to a lot of black women in particular.

[01:08] NICOLE PARKER: Oh, yes.

[01:09] NICOLE TRIPLETT: That whole balance.

[01:10] NICOLE PARKER: Mm hmm. Balance of business, love, life, all that good stuff.

[01:18] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Have you always wanted to be an entrepreneur, or have you always wanted to work in the community?

[01:24] NICOLE PARKER: Oh, good question. No, I have not always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I actually thought I was going to be a doctor and got into college and took a community leadership course, and I was like, I love community work and working with people. All I wanted to do was help people. So.

[01:42] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So you went from where the money resides to the community, where the money goes to die.

[01:49] NICOLE PARKER: You had high hopes, and now gonna be a surgeon. And then I was like, no, I'm gonna just live life helping people. And I just wanted to do community work. Ended up in higher education, doing diversity work. And then my family started Charlie's place. And when we started Charlie's place, I wanted to know, how can we keep our organization being sustainable for years to come? Because I saw a lot of nonprofits starting, but stopping, and I was in a little bit of a career midlife crisis. I was in my early twenties, and I wanted to move, wanted to leave. So I went to grad school, and I found a program that was focused on social entrepreneurship, which I knew nothing about. But I heard a TED talk talking about blending business and nonprofit. So that was my exposure to the business world. And I went to grad school. I left everything behind in Michigan, moved to Virginia and George Mason, and was submerged into the business world, which is where I found out black women were the fastest growing demographic of entrepreneurs, but least funded, least served. And that just kind of opened my mind to this whole concept of black women in business, but really understanding black women, business, and community and helping was deeply interconnected. So, yeah, came back home and decided to do a brunch.

[03:22] NICOLE TRIPLETT: All this from a life, a crisis. A life crisis in your twenties. Okay, so you started off in crisis.

[03:30] NICOLE PARKER: I started off in crisis like we, many of us do.

[03:32] NICOLE TRIPLETT: We in crisis. But something obviously has bloomed from that. That's been beautiful. Sounds like you've had lots of avengers, though, in life. You moved. You picked up and you moved. How exciting was that?

[03:48] NICOLE PARKER: It was scary to leave everything. I know, being the youngest of six and my entire family being in Michigan, I was like, ooh, okay, all right, God, we gonna really step out on faith. And I got to the DMV area, and I realized it was a different world. So that was an awakening of having to rebuild everything, rebuild your community, rebuild your networks, and professional, personal. And I had to do it all on my own. When you're home and you're from a particular place, you kind of are rooted. Whether you're in your church, your family, your friends, you have some type of connection. But I had no connection. I only had a cousin who lived there. So I had to rebuild, and I knew who I was.

[04:34] NICOLE TRIPLETT: I like that, though. Like one of my. I guess if you talk about regrets in life, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't go away to college. I wanted to go to a HBCU Clark Atlanta University. Right. Right out of high school. I applied and I got accepted, and I did my tours and got on a basketball team and, you know, looked at the dorms and got my assignments. And then I was fearful and didn't leave. So I often wonder, like, what my life would be like if I would have emerged myself in that culture and then that.

[05:15] NICOLE PARKER: Yeah, it's funny cause I wanted to go to a black college, too, and ended up at a. At Aquinas, which was completely different. A Pwi. HBcu. Pwi. But although you didn't leave, why do you think your purpose has been for you to stay here? Cause you've done some incredible work. Even though I know you wanted to go somewhere else.

[05:39] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Yeah. It's hard to talk about purpose because you figure that your purpose should find you as long as you're moving, as long as you're activating something, you know, as long as you're putting your foot forward. So I often wonder, can you find that same purpose in different areas? So would I have gotten there? And then obviously I would have connected with some purpose there? My thoughts on purpose are a little unclear, but I guess very clear at the same time, because wherever you're planted, find what you're connected to and just make a difference. So making a difference, I think I would be making a difference anywhere did I think it would be in the space of black business and helping black business owners. I know that I was going to be an entrepreneur. I did know that. So being an entrepreneur, I also believe that you should be giving as much as you take in the world. So with that being said, I guess there was always going to be some component of making sure that I was giving back to the community. And my priority is our community, people that look like me.

[07:01] NICOLE PARKER: So how did you start an entrepreneurship? Cause you have a litany of businesses. You are a social entrepreneur. It's like serial entrepreneur. I mean, so you've done a lot, and you're multifaceted.

[07:13] NICOLE TRIPLETT: I think somehow the entrepreneurial spirit was planted in me. My aunt, we lived in a small town in Indiana called Kingsford Heights, Indiana. No one knows about it, hardly ever. It literally is a boulevard leading into this town. And she had the gas station of the town. So the gas station had a convenience store. And I wanted some extra money. She allowed me to work there. So I saw that firsthand what it looked like to be an entrepreneur and have a business of your own. I knew that I wanted to make money to be able to do the things that I wanted to do outside of what my parents provided. We had everything that we could have needed. We did vacations all over the world. But there's certain things now, mama Triplett them ain't buying, you know, any expensive things. If the fancy trends, you don't need that. But we're gonna make sure you have everything else you wanted. And so I think I learned you have to work for the things that you want, and you, you have to work hard for the things you want, and you have to work for the things you need. So I have more control. If I was to own my own business, did you want to own a business or a nonprofit or any of that? Was that ever?

[08:43] NICOLE PARKER: I remember at one point, I used to say, I want to own something like the family health center. Like, I remember in high school, my senior year, I had to do an internship, and we had to interview people, and I actually went and interviewed the executive director at the family health center.

[08:57] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Back to the medical field.

[08:58] NICOLE PARKER: Back to the medical field, because I thought I was going to be a doctor. You know, I read Ben Carson's book. I was like, I'm being a neurosurgeon. And so I was like, I want to do something like this. Give back to community. And I understood, especially in the black community, having access to healthcare was important. So I did think that, like, oh, I want to have a nonprofit. So that was kind of in the back of my mind, but the business aspect of it, no, I always said, I don't care how much money I make, I want to give back. But then life made me realize, you got to understand you need money to live and to navigate, and that entrepreneurship was a means to economic freedom. So I think that's where I started to say, okay, let me look at this very differently. You know, it's not just about capitalism, but we can actually utilize small business to create change and create access and have control over the things that we want to have control over. So.

[09:57] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So we have a lot in common, even though our age difference. Driven, you know, like, we're very driven. So how do you feel? I don't know if you experience this or not, but it seems like when people are, they've been in a relationship for years. People are married, they have children. What do you think about how is our love life going? You know, how has our being driven and being for the community? Dating. Dating.

[10:23] NICOLE PARKER: Ooh. You know, I think it's been a challenge for me. Cause I feel like growing up, we've been taught, especially as black women, you have to focus. You have to don't get distracted by a man, do all these different things. And so for me, I was always focused on school, career, work hard, giving back, and that was my main focus. So in terms of dating, it was like, and being from kalamazoo, being a small town, as you know, we're related to everybody. Yes, you are related to everybody. And everybody knows my dad. So it's like, you, mister Parker daughter, I'm not talking to you. So I just knew dating was off limits for me in kalamazoo. And then when I got to college, being at a predominantly white college, there wasn't a lot of people who look like me there. And then I was like, is anybody checking for me? So I was like, whatever. I need to focus anyway.

[11:16] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So I'm not dating out my race. What about you? Would you have dated someone out your race from there?

[11:22] NICOLE PARKER: I'm very pro black, but there are times I'm like, let me see. But I've never done it. I've never done it.

[11:30] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Now, do you think that that thought is creeping in your mind now because we've been so many years without a. Or would it have crept in back then? Did you think of. Of it as a possibility? I never have.

[11:40] NICOLE PARKER: I've never really thought of it as a possibility, because we grew up so much into loving our culture and loving ourselves. So it wasn't, to me, a conversation that I was entertaining. Cause I'm like, oh, I think I wanna date a black man. But I have friends and family members, and our whole family has. Is interracial.

[12:04] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So, you know, my sister. Yeah, she's black and white.

[12:09] NICOLE PARKER: And I think the cultural aspects were the biggest challenge. Like, especially right now in 2020, all the things that we've seen, having that very difficult conversation with someone outside of.

[12:19] NICOLE TRIPLETT: The culture is hard, difficult, uncomfortable. I don't even know if I want to have it. Cause I don't want to. It's like you're emerging in someone else's culture. And I just always had this thing where I wanted to have a black husband, black children, black family, promote black love, because we sometimes don't see a lot of that. So I kind of think I somehow took that on, as that's my part of being here, you know, to promote that.

[12:46] NICOLE PARKER: Yeah.

[12:47] NICOLE TRIPLETT: So do you get from people that, see, that's your problem. You need to be dating outside your race. Specifically, you always say, a white man. Yeah, you need to date. You a white man.

[12:58] NICOLE PARKER: I've heard a lot of people say it, like, maybe you should consider, like, I have a few cousins. They're married to white men, and they'll say, like, cousins, you need to go date outside the race. And just see. And I'm like, well, I don't know. But I don't know.

[13:12] NICOLE TRIPLETT: People.

[13:13] NICOLE PARKER: Now that I'm getting older, I can see why someone dates outside their race to have different options and different experiences. I'm not gonna lie. My experiences haven't been that great.

[13:23] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Mine either. So I'm like, well, see where this done got you. See, being pro black got you where? But it's like you don't want to give up on your own culture, and you know that there are good people out there. There's just. We just have to. It's just our positioning, and maybe we haven't been open enough to it.

[13:44] NICOLE PARKER: Yeah. Do you feel like, has managing multiple businesses and balancing life been a challenge in dating for you?

[13:53] NICOLE TRIPLETT: I think so. I think so. Because you're focused, and when you're in a relationship, you have to split time, split possible resources with another person, and it feels like it's a distraction or is taking away from the work that you could be doing. But I also think it has to do with the quality of the people that we're dating. Because if we merge with someone, no matter what, race that is. That has the same goal and they're supportive, then I don't. I think the experience would be different. We just obviously have yet to experience that in our realm. But I also don't like the message that you're kind of less than if you don't have a husband or if you're not. I mean, I have a good time. I feel like I've done a lot of girl trip things or a lot of exploring that I know I couldn't have done if I would have had a husband and children. And I feel like there's still time to get that husband, and I don't want any more kids. I got two grandkids, but I feel like there's still time now. So I kind of feeling away, like, okay, now I'll be really open to it. I was open to it in the beginning because that's what you feel like you're supposed to do, get married. But then as life went on, I was like, whoa, this is kind of cool. And it's okay if I get someone, and it's okay if I don't. But now I think I'm going back to the place of. It'd be nice to share some of the success and some of the burdens actually with someone else. So I'm looking forward to learning how to balance that more with someone that is like minded or just supportive.

[15:27] NICOLE PARKER: Yeah.

[15:28] NICOLE TRIPLETT: What about you? You know? Think it's been an obstacle?

[15:33] NICOLE PARKER: I definitely think it's been an obstacle because I've been just so focused on community, career, family, that I think I've gotten to the point that I intentionally blocked it out because I was like, I don't know if it's gonna happen, so let me just go over and focus on myself.

[15:50] NICOLE TRIPLETT: What you can't control, what I can't control. What does feel good?

[15:53] NICOLE PARKER: You know, let me enjoy life with my friends. Don't take nice trips. We just got back from a trip.

[15:58] NICOLE TRIPLETT: You know, like Morocco.

[15:59] NICOLE PARKER: Morocco was amazing.

[16:01] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Nothing.

[16:01] NICOLE PARKER: No. If you hear this, go to Morocco. So, you know, being able to say, I can control my life, I think our parents generation, especially for black women, you had to be married. That was the end goal. And also, growing up in the church, you know, we talk about this a lot. Growing up in the pentecostal church in particular, there's this messaging of, you have to be a God fearing woman for a man, right? Like, that is what you are working towards is getting married, and then that is when you are complete. So having to even deconstruct that and unlearn like, I am complete. Whether I get married, whether I have kids, because I don't have kids right now. And I go back and forth with that sometimes that I'm enough and I'm complete, whether these things happen. And I have to take control of my life.

[16:51] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Cause there's so many people that ain't complete and ain't. Yes, I'm saying ain't complete. And they have husbands, kids, and I don't want their life.

[17:00] NICOLE PARKER: And I'm saying it's nothing wrong with it for those who have it. Cause I know people who have a beautiful marriage.

[17:06] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Happy to see it, actually.

[17:08] NICOLE PARKER: But I also think there has to be other narratives out there, like, whether you are married, you're good. Whether you're not married, it doesn't matter.

[17:15] NICOLE TRIPLETT: The other narratives, there have to be.

[17:17] NICOLE PARKER: Other narratives of what happiness, peace, and joy looks like in life as a woman.

[17:24] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Speaking of control. Uh oh. Let's jump into some social media stuff. Cause I don't know why this made me think about it.

[17:29] NICOLE PARKER: Control.

[17:30] NICOLE TRIPLETT: But the Keke Palmer situation.

[17:33] NICOLE PARKER: Mm. You know, that was really interesting to me. The first thing I thought about was, oof, I'm glad I don't have nobody telling me what I can and cannot wear.

[17:40] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Exactly. Cause I was like, I see worse. This girl has been famous for all of her life. I don't know. I don't know. I thought, why did he come at her on social media? That I think was what really, I was more so focused on, I didn't even realize that people said, oh, did you watch her hands, gestures, or whatever? She was rubbing all over usher. And I'm like, she's also an entertainer. She knew the world was watching. Absolutely. Part of it makes me feel like she probably did think it was a good show, but she also was doing what you do as a star that's been a star all your life in.

[18:20] NICOLE PARKER: Front of the tv, and Usher's done that. I went to the concert back in April, and there was another. I can't remember who it was.

[18:26] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Oh, I'm so jealous. I didn't go.

[18:27] NICOLE PARKER: It was amazing. You should go. But he did that with almost everybody, like, any of the stars or people who were there. He would go. He would serenade them, and they would get up, and they would dance. I think it was. I don't know. As someone who's partnered and in a committed relationship with someone, you should not take your issues to social media, even if it is an issue for him. He shouldn't have took it there.

[18:48] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Did he confirm that they was together? I don't. Has anybody confirmed that they were together?

[18:52] NICOLE PARKER: I don't know. Everything I see is Kiki Palmer's boyfriend, but I don't know. I don't know. But I just. Those are things that make me question when I think about relationship and what do I want?

[19:05] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Another reason that control cannot be controlled.

[19:09] NICOLE PARKER: And there was, to me, also the element of shame. Like, she's a mother.

[19:14] NICOLE TRIPLETT: To say, you're a mother, so now you can't do this. And that. That's where you went wrong. So now, first of all, Kiki Paul Martin, who are you? And then you threw them. She's a mom. Even people that thought that she was inappropriate, the fact that you came to the Internet and said, she's a mom.

[19:27] NICOLE PARKER: She's a mom.

[19:28] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Oh, you're going down, buddy.

[19:29] NICOLE PARKER: You're going down. And they drug him down.

[19:32] NICOLE TRIPLETT: All the way, all the way down.

[19:34] NICOLE PARKER: But I think she's handled it well, though.

[19:37] NICOLE TRIPLETT: She did. She really didn't even handle it. She kept on moving.

[19:40] NICOLE PARKER: She just kept on moving, which I think a lot of us end up having to do. Like, look, we're not gonna address this. And she probably addressed it where it needed to be addressed at home, off of social media. But, yeah, it makes me sometimes step back and say, see, I don't know.

[19:56] NICOLE TRIPLETT: If I want that. So just like Kiki Palmer kept it moving, I guess you and I have more adventures that we're gonna be carrying out through today and through the weekend. You get to go see Beyonce.

[20:09] NICOLE PARKER: I want to see Beyonce.

[20:10] NICOLE TRIPLETT: Thank you for sitting down and having a girlfriend talk with me.

[20:13] NICOLE PARKER: Well, thank you. It is always a pleasure to talk with you. Life, love, and business and all that good stuff.