Patricia Thomas Ivery and Deborah Davidson
DescriptionDeborah Davidson (68) sits down with her friend Patricia Thomas Ivery (63) to ask about Patricia's childhood, the wisdom that she has gained throughout her life, and the dreams that she still hopes to achieve.
Subject Log / Time Code
- Patricia Thomas Ivery
- Deborah Davidson
Recording LocationColumbus Public Library
- Bipolar disorder
- birth of first child
- Book Mobile
- Childhood memories
- Death of a parent
- death of a sibling
- Gun violence
- High School
- memories of growing up
- Mental health
- mental illness
- personal experiences
- Road trips
- Traumatic Memories
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00:01 Hello everyone. My name is Deborah Davidson. I am 68 years. Old. Today is Friday, November 5th, 2021. I'm here in Columbus, Georgia with my friend Patricia ivory.
00:20 Hello, everyone. I am Patricia Ivory. I am 63 blessed years. Old. Today is Friday, November 5th. The location is Columbus, Georgia. And I am here with my dear friend, Deborah Davidson.
00:39 Okay, Pat, let's get this started. What have been? Some of the happiest moments in your life.
00:47 I'll share one of the happiest moments was giving birth to my son and I would follow that by my wedding day. Although that was a little bittersweet because my dad was sick at that time. And then he, he passed the next day.
01:03 And another happy moment was, I'll trip to Europe. That was a dream come true for me. That was something on my bucket list and something that I'll remember forever. I hope you return the game. But if I don't, that was truly one of the happiest moments in my life, and then lastly, whenever I have the opportunity to perform. I'm very happy because of me and I feel that I am my most alive. Yes, I would agree that you seem like your most natural self when you're performing and sharing something with people. What about the saddest?
01:40 One of the saddest moments was several years back. My son was shot in the eye and I thank God that he survived that. But as a result, he lost the peripheral vision in one eye and then I would follow that by the death of my beloved brother. We were very, very close and then the death of my father.
02:06 Can you tell me about a moment? When a person's kindness made a difference in your life? I sure. Can that moment was when I was 19 years old and I was a young, mama had just given birth to my son. I was very young and struggling didn't have much money. But I was working and a older co-worker of mine. She stated that she was not having any more children and she has some items that she could give to me if I so want it. And of course, I said, yes, I did want those items and she gave me a beautiful baby, baby clothing. There was a stroller, a swing, a playpen, and everything was in such good condition. She even deliver it to my house, and that's just an act of kindness that always stuck with me. Because, as I said earlier, I was young and in struggling and then she helped me.
03:01 That's one that memory stuck with me. Is that person still alive? I do I've lost contact with her. How can I sure?
03:10 What were the most important lessons? You've learned in life? I have learned that it is important to follow your dream because your dreams do not die. And as long as you live, your dreams will continue to live inside of you. So follow your dreams to some point. I did. And then I got sidetracked and now at this stage of my life. I'm trying to read recapture some of those strings. That's why I said earlier. They don't die. As long as you are on live. Those dreams are alive within you. Okay, good.
03:49 What is your favorite memory of me? My kept several but I think the best would be our road trip to California. Oh, yeah, that was so much fun. That was another item on my bucket list that I always wanted to just head out west and that was just a fabulous time. I mean, we laughed the entire trip, we sang songs. We listened to music. We met some wonderful people along the way and that's just something. I cherish what that road trip to California. Taking really great. Yes. You remember the store. We stopped at and Somewhere in Arizona and we purchase the Rings, but the Moonstone ring when I lost mine. I was really bummed not so much because of the rain but because, you know, it was, it has sentimental value for me. I left it in the airport.
04:49 And that why? I'm so sorry to hear. What? Someone got it and I'm sure they're enjoying her so good. And yes.
04:57 What are you proud of stuff? I am proud of being a mom. I am a grandmother and a great grandmother. So I am proud of that as well as
05:13 The fact that I was able to purchase a home as a single woman, that's something that I was a very, very proud of you and your family, very proud of you for that. We don't, thank you. Yes.
05:29 Are there any funny stories? Your family tells about you? Yes, Mary is what I would like to share. This is the incident that happened. I was about four years old. So course, I have no memory of this, but according to my, my parents and my uncle, this is a true story.
05:52 My favorite uncle, my dad's brother. His name is Tom and he came over for a visit. But by the time he got to the house, my dad and all his buddies. They were gone. So he just couldn't believe that all the guys had left without him. So I'm all the four years old. Remember around that age. My mother said, I stood up on my bed with my hands on my hips and I told my Uncle, she said that I stated to him, Uncle Tom, all the men are gone. So you can just jump your ass out the window.
06:26 Okay, I do. Remember my uncle teasing me about that.
06:36 I can see you doing that for around that age cuz I have no memory of it. But that's a family. What are you proud of stuff. Pat? I stated earlier now, restated being a mother grandmother wife. Yeah.
07:03 Has your life been different than what you would have imagined? Yes. My life has been different all, so I will baby. I had the California Dream. I was going to live in California with a big house on the hill. I was going to travel the world this actress Entertainer and just living this fabulous, glamorous life. That was what I picture for myself and
07:33 Let me know that dream wasn't for Phil, but I'm grateful for the life that I do have.
07:39 Very grateful to know. I have a heart of gratitude for What the Lord Has about me to to do with my life. You're not living and not. Living the California Dream. But so, how would you describe?
07:55 Your current life now, very quiet. Very Serene. I want to get back into some form of entertainment, and I stated earlier that makes me feel alive. And I'm pretty good with the grandma part.
08:13 You're pretty, you're pretty glamorous. I can tell you that. I will thank you. How much you like to be remembered? I would like to be remembered as someone who was a lot of fun.
08:31 Someone who care for people.
08:36 Would like to be remembered as someone who is generous and kind. I truly hope that I have been kind to people. For one. I can say that you are very kind sold. So.
08:51 Thank you, and I love you all. Thank you my sister. I love you, too.
08:55 Okay, what Lucy for Generations listening to this years from now. Is there any wisdom? You'd like to pass on to your family friends? Yes. Absolutely. I would state to anyone who hears this message.
09:14 Do not be fooled by appearances.
09:18 That no one has it all together in life. And that everyone is searching just as you are. So you have to believe in yourself. So I would just encourage people to just, you know, get in the game of life because you can't play Sitting on the sidelines. Younger version of yourself. What would you say if I was a girl? It's, and you got this. Okay, get out there. Take some chances. And you are going to be okay, okay.
09:55 Very good.
09:59 All right. When and where were you born from Chicago, Illinois, born and raised there in 1958? What? Part of Chicago? Illinois, Southside Southside my childhood. It was very very chaotic and if this is something that
10:28 Kind of difficult, but I feel the need to share cuz I think it would be free. And for me, it was very hard. It was chaotic. I was a lot of struggle but there was some fun moments to. I am a 7 out of 12 children and I did grow up with both parents, but my dad was bipolar. And at that time I don't even think we had that term and we didn't know, you know, what was wrong. We just knew something was wrong. So it made it kind of difficult and chaotic and I'll household.
11:07 Because we never knew what dad was going to come home from work. So I always felt like, I had two fathers, you know, one was fun, loving, you know, he was fun to be around, you know, and then the other could just turn on a dime like that and go into a fit of rage and just put us all out of the house.
11:31 Put you out of all of us. He would just tell us all that. Just get out of the house.
11:39 You know, it was difficult, but
11:44 What time with me maturing I I got to understand him better.
11:52 And as I stated we didn't we didn't have a, I don't think we had a term for that sickness. And now I'm finding out that it was kind of common other households that we weren't all alone. So we just never know from day to day.
12:06 Wow, what was going to happen?
12:10 Well, when you went on those occasions, when he put you out like that, I mean typically, how long would you you be out?
12:21 I hope it's there were hours all of us scattered in different directions, but my sister Brenda and I we would grab my baby sister and we would run to a neighbor's house, misses Mac and she would take us in and let us stay with her.
12:38 It took things settled down. And then sometimes we were just running out in the basement until, you know, he came back around to himself again.
12:51 What about your mother?
12:54 What would be a mother would? But we're all children and we just didn't know. So we just took off.
13:08 And to this day, I still have dreams where I'm just taking off and I'm running.
13:15 And my sister Brenda said she still had those dreams as well. We were just taking off running, but I love my dad and it was a sickness and in and like I said.
13:32 We don't know if help was available for that if it was, we were on our way there.
13:39 Was there a time that you can remember where it may be. Better or getting up and down, roller coaster. Felt like I had to Dad, you know, when he was on a good roll, LOL. Everything was loving and fun and he would take us to McDonald's. In play music around the house and sing and dance, but there was a trigger, you know, something triggered him.
14:08 That was a different story.
14:11 Have you and your siblings ever talked about any of the other two of us have? But not collectively and that's something I want to work with with my family. As a matter fact. I mentioned it last week that it's just time for us to get together. And you know, let's just let's talk about it so we can put it to rest. I can see you being the facilitator.
14:36 And it's something that we I hope it can happen cuz I think it can make a big difference. Something. We definitely need to explore.
14:45 Okay, how was your relationship with your father? I know you, I remember when he died. But before his death. I went many, many years where I love my dad and I did not like him. I just did not like him but, you know, thank God. The later years of his life, he changed and we had a beautiful relationship and that's around the time. I met you, he had mellowed out and I don't know if he has selective Amnesia or what, but he never bought it off or talked about it and neither did we.
15:22 We had a good relationship towards the end. We really did. He was a different person. What about your mom? Have you ever talked about it with her? Not really?
15:35 My mother is a very quiet reserved person to pretty reticent. She doesn't really like to talk and revisit the past we never really talked about it. Alright, do you think that is there something that you could see ever happening or at this point? Maybe you just let it go. Let it go.
15:59 So how would you say as a child? Were you generally a happy child or sad or how did some moments of Happiness when when I was able to escape, you know, through through music and books by my love, but I was saying but I didn't know what it was at the time and then when I go back and look at my classroom pictures, I can just see the sadness. Had it such a sad countenance about me and that was a result, you know, a lot of the household, the trauma in the household. So how do you think you were able to?
16:46 Well, I know that you love books and I know that you're very expressive person when it comes to acting and singing and she just sharing yourself and it sounds like maybe, you know, all of that, you know, your your relationship with your father or the things that happened may have really contributed. Actually, I believe so. It's wonderful that you developed that outlet and something, you know, good.
17:20 No came out of it. But at all saying, when you have lemons, you have to make lemonade. So
17:29 Well, I'm glad you did because a lot of people, you know, react differently and circumstances like that. Some people just completely shut down and don't really have an outlet. They take everything inside and it just kind of goes in and festers and
17:48 But that didn't happen to you, and I'm glad thank God. Thank you.
17:54 Well, what would you say was a good day? A perfect day. When you were young a perfect day for me, when I was young.
18:04 Was the book mobile came to our neighborhood once a week? I think it was on a Wednesday. And that was the happy. Happy time for me. Whenever bookmobile came cuz I would run down there and get me a stack of books. Pretty much like I still do today. I will get me some books and my little chips and I was just go home. Try to find me a quiet Corner in the house, or I can just read. And then if my dad came home in a good mood, that was a good day. We're kind of books. Did you favor? Did you if you were to go, when you are kid and you go to the go to the library or the book mobile or whatever. What kind of excited you, when you, I remember reading a Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingraham. I remember reading that and for some reason and I
19:04 About this. Now, Gone With the Wind. What do you think? It was about? I can see Little House on the Prairie, you know, you know, Michael Landon out a perfect if I can see that but I'm done with all that ideal it. Can I say? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or they were loving love in the family and in the father was definitely strong. He was a strong father, figure out who you can count on it, depend on to just be steady and calm. Don't ask me where I'm Gone With the Wind Fitz and that book and I mean it just transformed my life. How do you think of it? You know still slavery and just that whole era. I was fascinated with it and I still am today in the end. That's still one of my favorite movies that I love to watch.
20:04 Actually, me too. I mean, I when I read Gone With the Wind, I mean, there were so many emotions going on. You're up, you're down, you know, but just trying to identify with the character who was so much Scarlett O'Hara. So many different. There are so many things going on with her and in her life and the way she handle them, I think for me, maybe it was just saying someone a woman, you know, who's able to come from One Source in her life and do and know what she wants like that. Cuz I would feel that point where she said. Yeah, I think it was the determination and I noticed, I I gravitate to strong women. Yes. Yes. So I can see you.
21:02 I can see all of that.
21:05 So are you still friends?
21:08 Back in the day is yours.
21:11 Chicago. Actually, I am I high school friend. Her name is Denise and she said, we're still friends and we talked several times a year. We were thick as thieves in high school. People thought we were sisters because we favored teachers don't know what that term meant, you know that your favorite and if you know, I made me think that you were saying that you that you and your favorite each other meaning that you preferred each other or you physical characteristics are similar.
21:54 Bing bing. Bing bing good, you know, I'd like to meet some of your friends. You would love her last day teachers or any other adults in your life. Who had a particularly strong influence. I have fond memories of two teachers. I'll share a memory of my high school teacher, Miss Stringer.
22:32 She was my English teacher. And one day in class. She wanted to volunteer to read by raise my hand to read. And after I finish reading.
22:47 I'll never forget the look on her face. She was just as violent and she was staring at me with this.
22:54 Look of Amazement on her face.
22:57 But the words that she shared with me, I carry to this day. She looked at me and she said Patricia. She said you read and you speak so well and no one has ever said that to me before. Wow. Yeah, and that was my, my take away. I'm like, wow. Do you know that meant a lot to me exact opposite?
23:24 Because when you're thinking when you're talkin about that, it just reminded me when I was in third grade is the only assignment that I can remember in school that I actually got excited about the whole time unless they from from elementary school to high school. This wasn't an assignment that I got excited about. We were asked to write a poem and I went home and I got quiet. I got Aloha book, a poetry that my mother and father had and on the blank page in the book. I started to write a poem.
24:10 It ended up being like a fourth stanza poem.
24:15 So I went to school and I recited my poem.
24:20 Read it from the book and afterwards, the teacher folded her arms, and she sent to me in front of the class.
24:33 Where did you get that poem from? You know, you didn't write that poem, you didn't make that up. You stole that from from some laser eyes. I plagiarize. Exactly. I was stunned. I could not believe because I was expecting her to
24:54 I don't know. Why. Don't you know what I expected? But I didn't expect that and she asked cheap kind of invited the whole class to make fun of me and everybody started laughing. And I was really traumatizing for me because I mean, it just wasn't what I expected. And I started to cry when, you know, you know, it's like that because I wanted her to believe me. And I kept trying to convince her that I actually did write it. And she said, go sit down and I couldn't, I could not go sit down because I felt that if I sat down, I would be acknowledging that she was. Right. And the only way that I could stand and defend myself. What's the stand there? And just so, you know, I had to have her back and say I'm sorry, you know, I know you wrote it and it was really good.
25:54 And so I started to cry and she insisted that I sit down and
26:02 So finally, I didn't sit down. She went and got the principal. Yeah, and it became like a big deal. I wouldn't sit down the principal called my mother, and my mother came to the school.
26:21 And all this, while I was kind of standing in a corner and I just remember, you know, that I was I was a mess and I tried to explain to my mother. What happened and my mother took me home.
26:38 And that was how that day and it LOL, but it was traumatizing for me, because I never forgot it. And then, obviously, it kind of shows you the impact, you know, a teacher teacher has on a student, you know, and I didn't write poetry anymore for years. I think I was in my early thirties. When I finally started to write poetry again, and that was anyway, I think I wouldn't down the rabbit hole. I have one last question for you.
27:22 If you could do anything. Now, what would you do? Why?
27:28 If I could do anything now.
27:31 I would love to.
27:36 I would love to sing and to just to perform and my dream now is to get with a group of like-minded individuals and just form of singing group band, The Agra culture group. What have you?
27:56 For our own personal fulfillment and entertainment. And you know, who knows what can happen from there. But yeah, if that's, that's something that I would like to do, and I'm going to work on that. Seriously. I'm going to work on that. Good good. I'll see you at, you know, I am no longer doubting myself. I done that all of my life, but as I said earlier, if it's just for her own personal outlet and entertainment, and then who knows you real girl, who knows what can happen? All right.