Reminisce

00:01 I'm Janai interviewing my mother, Tammy Nealy Hello. Hi. So I have a few questions for you.

00:12 Okay.

00:14 What is your favorite thing to do?

00:18 Well, for the most part, I like.

00:20 Cooking and playing games. Do you know why you like cookies?

00:28 Um, because I'm always hungry, so I had to learn really quick. If I'm hungry, I'm gonna have to feed myself, especially if mom's not around.

00:38 You have a favorite thing to cook?

00:41 Um, I would say two things. Chicken Alfredo and steak.

00:55 Those are nice for you. I love your chicken Alfredo. What's one of the biggest struggles in your life?

01:06 Well, one is kind of a personal, sad subject, but I would say my biggest struggle is getting your grandmother to see me as an adult and not her firstborn baby, and allowing me to live my life and make my mistakes as said adult, without her interfering.

01:37 Do you think that's changed how you did certain ways in your adult life?

01:44 It has. It has. Once I was able to help her see that she was doing more harm than good, I'm able to go about and raise you and your sibling the way I see fit. And if I ever need her advice, I don't know, I'll ask for it. But if nothing, we're good.

02:11 Did that kind of put a strain on your relationship with us?

02:15 It has. I don't like to you, it has. But at the end of the day, we're all adults and we're all human. We do make mistakes, but we just have to learn from those mistakes and move on from them.

02:33 Have you ever overcame adversity, and how did you do it?

02:39 I went through a period where I was sad and, I guess you can say depressed, losing a job, a job that I really loved and enjoyed. And I didn't feel it was right that I had to write an essay to keep my job and still lose it. So I went through a little bit of depression during that, but I overcame it by educating myself well, furthering my education, getting a certification of property management, which is my career background, and looking for a better opportunity. Because you were a baby at this time and I was pregnant with Jade, so I couldn't right away get into working because I wanted to make sure she had a good start and that you were taken care of. So I decided to educate myself and prepare myself for a better future.

03:42 Do you think that having kids at that time, it was more of a struggle?

03:50 No. Cause I was older than most people. And when I say most people, I mean my classmates, because I had you, your sister, when I was 24 and 26, so I already had an established career. I had a good working knowledge of the field that I wanted to be in. So it wasn't that whole, what do I want to do? And I already, you know, maintained the living space, had a vehicle, so I already had the foundations that I needed to be able to bring a little person into this world and maintain.

04:32 So going into college, you already knew everything you wanted to do?

04:36 Not necessarily because I went from wanting to do cosmetology, doing hair, because that's, you know, what my mom did. And then I wanted to go into business administration. And then I looked up doing a temp agency job, doing apartments as a Lisa professional, and did that for about two, three months and fell in love with it. When my assignment was done, I went on to another assignment, got called back to that same property that I worked for temporarily and been in proper management ever since. So once I did that, I knew that proper management is where I wanted to go. So it wasn't, you know, that wishy Washington says, a teenager coming out of high school graduation trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I always wanted to do something with customer service because I was good at it. But this basically, literally fell in my lap, and I've been with it ever since.

05:44 Do you feel since it kind of, like, fell in your lap, do you feel okay that it fell in your lap?

05:50 Yeah, because I've been doing this for 20 plus years now, so obviously I'm doing something right and I enjoy it.

05:59 Um, who in your life had the most influence on who you are today? And. And what kind of influence did they have?

06:09 I think everyone, family wise, like, um, our Aunt Shirley, Aunt Lisa, Yujiji, they all had different qualities and worth, ethics and personality traits that guided me to see what I wanted out of life. My worth and the type of work ethic that I wanted. And just a little sprinkle of each one of them. I can't forget my uncles, your uncle Eddie and Uncle Luke, you know, them being the father figures of showing me just because I'm a girl, I can't, like, take care of a car or something like that. So just the little things with everybody just sprinkled in, just gave me the guidance that I needed into my adulthood.

07:09 Kind of going off from that. Do you have one event in your life that really solidified who you are today?

07:18 Well, okay, yeah, this is gonna sound really cheesy, but I can honestly say with my nurturingness and my motherhood, it was giving birth to youth that definitely solidified that. I knew for sure that I wanted to be a mom. With everything surrounding your creation and your birth and, you know, your first year of life, that was a given. That. Okay, motherhood is definitely on my priority list.

07:52 Is that something that keeps you going.

07:54 Every day, making sure that you and your siblings are taken care of? Most definitely. Without a doubt.

08:03 And in addition to that, do you have a separate or similar inspiration in life?

08:13 Well, just aspire to be the best version of me that I can be and to make sure that you, your siblings know who you are and what you'll stand for. Because if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I firmly believe that. So just knowing your worth and knowing that you can't stand up for yourself without hurting someone else's feelings, but definitely without hurting yours.

08:46 Is there anything that. Well, if you wanted to change something about you, what would it be?

08:53 Girl, the only thing I need to change about me is my weight. Realistically, that's it. Everything else, I'm keeping sisters. Wait, I just want to go.

09:03 Um, if you is a. Just a throw out question. If you won the lottery, how would.

09:10 You use the money, pay off all my college tuition and associated debt, buy us a house with land, and definitely have something set aside for each of you. So when you start out on your own, you at least have startup money.

09:33 And throughout your life, have you ever gained a fear, and is it your biggest fear, and why is it your biggest fear?

09:43 The only thing that I'm really and truly scared of is spiders.

09:47 Spiders.

09:47 I'm never gonna get over that. I had bad experiences when I was little, and to this day, I can't deal. Um, realistically, I don't really have much fear of anything else. I would say I have a nervousness of new things, but my ultimate fear is running up on spider. I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you. It doesn't matter if it's a big one or a small one. It's still a spider, and too many close encounters.

10:18 Would your fear of nervousness have stopped you any time in your life? Like, if you were given an opportunity, would it have stopped you at any time?

10:27 I would have doubted myself for a little bit, but I would just calm myself down, maybe throw in a little prayer to make the nervousness go away, and then just either going to say yes or no. So. So that's how I overcome it.

10:51 If this were to be our very last conversation, is there anything that you want to say to me?

10:58 I would say, never lose the hope that you have never lose your self confidence and stand up for yourself. Always. Even when other people are saying that you're wrong and you know that you're right. Stand your ground.

11:17 Okay, that. I think that concludes our interview. Thank you for taking Tyler out and letting me interview you.

11:26 You're very welcome.