Roman Wilcox and Adriana Wilcox

[00:01] ROMAN WILCOX: Hi, I'm Roman Wilcox, and I'm 42 years old. Today is January 9, 2023, and we are in my hometown of El Paso, Texas. And I'm interviewing here with my beautiful wife, Adriana Wilcox. She's also my business partner and my best friend.

[00:20] ADRIANA WILCOX: And I'm Adriana Wilcox. I'm 40 years old. Today is January 9, 2023. We are located in our hometown, El Paso, Texas, and I'm also here with my husband, Roman Wilcox, business partner. And I think that's it. So, Roman, we're going to talk about how we met. How did we meet?

[00:50] ROMAN WILCOX: Hi, babe. This is crazy that we're doing this, but how did we meet in Arizona. We're both El Pasoans, but for whatever reason, I believe the universe had us meet down there in the time of life that we were in. And that was college days, and I was very much into, like, the DJ and the rape scene, and you were, too. And we met in the club.

[01:20] ADRIANA WILCOX: You can find love at the club.

[01:21] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. You can find love at the club. So, only thing is, is you were with somebody at that time, and so love didn't come from the club right away. You know, I think friendship came and we continued to see each other. How long was that period from the time we first met?

[01:42] ADRIANA WILCOX: So, let's see, we moved out there in 99, separately, but, like, a couple of months apart.

[01:48] ROMAN WILCOX: Literally months apart. Yeah.

[01:50] ADRIANA WILCOX: And then I met you at. It was like club freedom. It was like. I think Josh Wink was playing.

[01:58] ROMAN WILCOX: Okay, those are two different places at the ice house. Yo. Okay, we were at the ice house. Yeah. Josh Wink, four hour set. And your El Paso peeps met my El Paso peeps. We hung out. We. After parties, and then we didn't see.

[02:14] ADRIANA WILCOX: Each other for, like, a whole year after that.

[02:17] ROMAN WILCOX: Close to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we did start seeing each other at a weekly event. Yes.

[02:24] ADRIANA WILCOX: So music brought us together. I think that was, like, our common ground, right? Yeah, music. You were a great dancer.

[02:33] ROMAN WILCOX: We did have that in common, and I think it really did bring us together. Although you danced more with my roommate than me.

[02:40] ADRIANA WILCOX: Any other time you get in the friends, you know, that's just because you.

[02:44] ROMAN WILCOX: All were friends, and it was cool, but. Well, so then we met. Eventually, we started hanging out. I think from the day that we started hanging out, we never parted, not once. Until we were married with a kid and I had to leave town for sous chef trip.

[03:04] ADRIANA WILCOX: Well, that's a fast forward, but. Yeah. Well, I mean, just now, mind you, we only dated for three months before we made the very crazy, risky decision.

[03:15] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. We can't leave that out. That's important. Well, I think where we were in our lives, I get. Well, we were young, too. You were 18. I was 18, and I was 19. I just turned 20.

[03:27] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yep.

[03:28] ROMAN WILCOX: And I was at the end of my culinary schooling, and you were just messing around. You're in the middle of your shenanigans, and, yeah, you. We were just in a place where. Where the timing was right, and it kind of came down to you were in a living situation that was no longer conducive to your health in all sorts of ways, and we were really close, and I didn't like you taking the bus to work for whatever reason, because you're just a strong, independent woman, so who cares? You would have been fine. But in that moment, I just didn't like it. So it was easier for me to, like, take you and bring you back.

[04:15] ADRIANA WILCOX: And, yeah, you saved me, like, 3 hours of bus tripping.

[04:20] ROMAN WILCOX: You were worth it, baby. I'll still do it. And so life just, I think where we were at in life, I was wrapping up school. I was in a place of life where maybe I was burning my candle at both ends, which I find myself doing that, you know, through the course of our life, just in different ways. But in that way, in college, it really wasn't the healthiest way and the best way, and I was getting tired, and I really did want and need companionship besides just friends. I had great friends and stuff, and so the timing was right for me. Timing was right for you. And I asked you to marry me, like, two and a half months in, and you said no.

[05:03] ADRIANA WILCOX: I did, because I thought you were.

[05:05] ROMAN WILCOX: Crazy, and you were like. And you said, I'm 18. Are you kidding me? And so. So that took a little coercion.

[05:15] ADRIANA WILCOX: I mean, it didn't take much, though.

[05:17] ROMAN WILCOX: A good 20 minutes conversation, and, yeah.

[05:22] ADRIANA WILCOX: You swept me off my feet, and I was like, all right, let's do.

[05:25] ROMAN WILCOX: Honestly, like, in that moment of my life, I kind of found my way back into Christianity and my faith set, which I kind of grew up with that, and I've always had, like, a heart for service, but, like, in meeting you, it was helping me, like, get my spirit place back, and. And I just felt like, I don't know, you were just, like, such an honorable person, and I just didn't see myself without you at that point. And so I was like, well, what's. What's the point of just playing it out? Let's. Let's do this, you know? And it was probably a very immature and fast thought, but I really. Sometimes I feel like there, it's God or the universe or whatever is out there with us, like, on our guiding paths, like. Like, showed favorite onto our situation, because my heart was. Was truly pure on that. I really did just want to honor you as a person. And I was like, if we're good enough to hang together and we're not gonna go anywhere, then let's. Let's, like, really give it a go. And so I think it was a good basis. I know you just asked me how we met. I already got to our marriage, but that's kind of like how our story is, so that's.

[06:41] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yeah, it was that quick, right?

[06:44] ROMAN WILCOX: Um. How. How. I mean, did you know that, like, I was the one? Did you feel it before I asked you? Did you have to grow into it? I mean, we were together for such a short time.

[07:00] ADRIANA WILCOX: I knew. I knew that I was in love with you. I don't know that, like, at 18 that I was really thinking long term about anything.

[07:10] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, me either.

[07:12] ADRIANA WILCOX: That was. But I did know for sure that I loved you and I trusted you, and I did want to live the rest of my life with you. And I think it was like, once you got down to explaining the why you wanted to marry me, that's kind of what I was like. You know what? I feel that way, too. I feel like this is the beginning of our lives together, and I totally wanted to go on that crazy adventure with you.

[07:39] ROMAN WILCOX: Boy, did you.

[07:40] ADRIANA WILCOX: But, I mean, could it have been bad? Do we recommend it to other kids? Absolutely not.

[07:44] ROMAN WILCOX: Kids, if you're listening, don't do it. Like, not because it's been bad for us, but because statistically it's bad. Right.

[07:53] ADRIANA WILCOX: We didn't fully know each other. I mean, there wasn't really anything that, like, popped up that surprised me about you.

[08:01] ROMAN WILCOX: Right.

[08:03] ADRIANA WILCOX: Because I feel like we were just really honest and genuine with each other from the get go.

[08:07] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. And where we met each other at the point of our lives was probably, like, at the peak of our troublemaking days.

[08:17] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yes.

[08:18] ROMAN WILCOX: You know, and so we were kind of in the same space, but we were also kind of in a space where we were ready to grow up a little bit and, you know, I just didn't know, but I really feel like I was forced by some. Something in nature to just, like, go all in with you. Like, this was my first real, true relationship. I could have just experienced it and gone on and had many relationships, but it just never suited me as a person. Even my friendships were special, and they were curated. You know what I mean? I picked and chose wisely, and I just really made sure that the company I kept was, like, what I chose and what I like, I always. And so, like, with you, like, it was just on a different level, so I'm glad we did it, babe.

[09:14] ADRIANA WILCOX: I know. We'll be celebrating 22 years of marriage in March.

[09:19] ROMAN WILCOX: March 15.

[09:21] ADRIANA WILCOX: That's pretty crazy. I can officially say that I've been married for more than half of my.

[09:25] ROMAN WILCOX: Life, and I can officially say it's been half my life this year because I'm 42, so that's weird. You have a question for me?

[09:39] ADRIANA WILCOX: Let's see. I mean, I know we kind of gave a little bit of advice as far as, like, don't go jumping into marriage, kids out there, but what advice would you give to young adults? Like, why has our marriage lasted this long? Why have. Why has our marriage been successful? What can we share?

[10:02] ROMAN WILCOX: So, I think it comes down. Honestly, babe. Like, it comes down. People can fall in love. You know what I mean? And love is important, and love is a driving force. But what good is it if you can't be on the same level with certain things? There's some ground rules, you know? And so I feel like the first is, like, a mutual respect. Right. We have to respect each other for who we are. We have to respect each other for who we are not, and we have to respect each other for who we are growing and to be totally right. Yes. Because it's an evolution. Like, you're not the girl that I married 22 years ago, and I. I respect that. Not only do I respect that, it's super attractive to me because you have grown as a woman, and you have changed, and you have mothered my children and started a business with me, and so we've really done life major. And so I love that I married you in that moment, but that's not who you are, and it's not who I am. Yes, those elements are within us, and they always stay with us, but it's not who we are. And I love who you're gonna be, because I can tell that you're just growing and you're continuing to move in, and so I respect that. And I don't want to disrupt the process. I want to be able to be a part of it and to be a lending hand and a help and a friend along the way. And so it just comes down to respect. And I think the other thing is communication. You can't have mutual respect without communication, because you have to always check in with each other and see where they're at in life, in health. Are they hungry? Are they thirsty? Whatever.

[12:00] ADRIANA WILCOX: You've always been really good at that. I feel like that's something that you helped me see throughout our marriage, was how important it is to communicate and to share your feelings, but also do it in a way that still is respectful and loving.

[12:18] ROMAN WILCOX: Thank you. Well, I couldn't get a word out of you, edgewise. You were so introverted when we met. Like, I carried our first six months of marriage and conversation. But it was worth it, because those moments where you came out and just spoke, I don't know, it was so funny. You didn't have a lot to say, but when you spoke, it meant something then, and you were just so shy. And we were married, and you were still shy, and we were just so young, and that communication thing was hard. Like, you know, we all have a history, and you have a past, and you had things. You were fresh out of your life story. I don't even know. We have time. You know, I'm gonna give a synopsis of your life story. And so, I mean, my version of this is gonna be really fast, and I feel like you need to do your own story core on this whole life situation, journey of your own. But, you know, at 15, you found out and figured out that you were adopted. And you also met your adopted mother at that time at 15, right in the middle of a really tender age. And it was a shock to the system for you and for your family. And everybody tried to do their best to figure out how to deal with this, and communication was tough. I'm sure you didn't make it easy completely.

[13:41] ADRIANA WILCOX: That's why I think we struggled so much in our marriage.

[13:45] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you used to, like, laugh when you talked about it, and I just knew that that laugh was such a, like, whoa.

[13:50] ADRIANA WILCOX: Okay. Coping. Mega, baby girl.

[13:53] ROMAN WILCOX: Gotta deal with something. And so, like, that comes with us right into the marriage. Me, like, my. Like, my stuff and my baggage and whatever. Like, I had to bring. Like, it comes with the marriage, and we don't know each other, and we are learning along the way.

[14:08] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yep.

[14:08] ROMAN WILCOX: And so that communication was key for us, and I think once you got it and it empowered you, it, like, drove our marriage to the next level, and I really got to see your strength as a woman, and you were able to take our marriage to a level that I don't think I could have taken it. And so, like, I have such respect for you. Because it's just the level of maturity that it took for us to do that. I couldn't have been that mature on my own. I needed the help of not just any woman, but of you, you know, to, like, grow past certain things and see pastor. And we're still doing that to this day with each other, you know, but it's like I created a monster, and, like, you know, once got you talking, and then it's like, okay, can we, like, taper it back, the honesty a little bit? It's beautiful. I love it. I love it. And I think it's something that we get to pass on to our kids, whether they receive it or not. You know, like, they know that we talk, and sometimes that's the last thing they want to do with us when. When we're in situations.

[15:18] ADRIANA WILCOX: Right, definitely.

[15:20] ROMAN WILCOX: Good question. So, yeah, that's communication, mutual respect, and I think that's in any relationship. No, but, like, most definitely.

[15:30] ADRIANA WILCOX: Absolutely.

[15:31] ROMAN WILCOX: Because I think we apply that into our business, and that's even harder to do than I feel like. Our personal relationship seems to flow. I don't know why. Like, we're so blessed and lucky to have this just beautiful flow to our personal relationship, but business, because we're so different in the way we operate, and it works to our advantage, but it also can be very difficult for us.

[15:57] ADRIANA WILCOX: Well, and then before we get to that, because, I mean, our business that we have now isn't the first time that we've worked together.

[16:09] ROMAN WILCOX: Yes, that's right.

[16:10] ADRIANA WILCOX: And so, really, like, this is probably our third time working together. And we're totally one of those couples that can do that.

[16:21] ROMAN WILCOX: We kind of look to do that. We try to create it to where we can hang together and be together as much as possible. And then we complain that we don't have any alone time together because we're always together, but we're working.

[16:35] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yes.

[16:36] ROMAN WILCOX: We're weird.

[16:36] ADRIANA WILCOX: We are weird.

[16:41] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. So we started also, I guess, like, it's important that we kind of say what we do. Do we talk about our kids or do we talk about what we do?

[16:51] ADRIANA WILCOX: I think if we take it, like, in chronological order, that might help us also.

[16:55] ROMAN WILCOX: Then, for me, I got to talk about what I do because I started very young.

[16:58] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yes.

[16:58] ROMAN WILCOX: When you met me, I had already been cooking in the industry. I was in culinary school, wrapping up, finishing. I almost failed because I fell in love, and I just wanted to hang out and go dance with my girlfriend every night, and so. But you came in and you helped me. Right. And you helped me?

[17:19] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yeah. We needed to get that degree.

[17:21] ROMAN WILCOX: We had to get that degree. And, like, man, you really, like, I must have been magic, because I didn't have work. I like you. Really. Or, like, we were just really dumb. It was all about that. A little bit of bollock. Glad it worked out, babe. I'm so glad it worked out. So I'd been cooking professionally since I was 15 year old here in El Paso, and I was in a culinary program in high school, and I had the opportunity to cook at Cafe Central, which was, like, at that time, the only fine dining restaurant here in town. And it was me, and it was my buddy Apollo. And we had a crazy, tumultuous relationship because we were very different as people. He was way more responsible and mature than I was and younger than me, you know, like, I was 15, but I was about to turn 16, and he was like a little baby. 1415, kiddo. Like, it was like, but he's both babies. But he just had his. His shit together so differently, you know? And I just think life had forced him into a situation like that, so. So he didn't think I was funny, you know, and I thought I was very funny, and so. So it made for an interesting, you know, work place. But, you know, I started there. I started fine dining. Walked in on our first day. We got laughed at because they thought it was a joke. There was a couple kids in chef coats, you know, and, like, within a month, we earned the title of the kitchenelles because we just prepped the heck out of everything, and we earned our place. And.

[18:56] ADRIANA WILCOX: And while you were in high school.

[18:57] ROMAN WILCOX: Right. Well, I mean, it was the years that I was supposed to be in high school. Yes. But I had decided that this was way more important than my high school career, and I just let that fly to the wind without telling my parents, and just kind of somehow managed to just keep it under wraps until it was graduation time, and then, well, that's a whole other story. And so I was dedicated to the culinary game very young, and that's why I was in Arizona when I met Adriana. I was getting or met my baby, and.

[19:34] ADRIANA WILCOX: And then just a little, little tiny background on what I was doing at that time. As you mentioned, I had just found out that I was adopted, and I just. That took such a blow to, like, who I thought I knew I was and my identity that I was just, like, ready to just experience the world on my own. So I had graduated early from high school. I graduated at 16, turned 17 about a month later. I had a boyfriend at the time who was going to be going to the Art Institute of Phoenix.

[20:07] ROMAN WILCOX: Dun dun dun. That was my school. What do you know?

[20:12] ADRIANA WILCOX: That was my ticket out of El Paso, and that's how I ended up in Arizona. And so that was that divine little intervention that brought us together outside of our hometown into the same city two states away.

[20:30] ROMAN WILCOX: And I was working all those years. And then it was graduation time, 1998, and I was 22 credits short. And not because I was slacking off, but it was because I was working 50 to 60 hours a week at Cafe Central and just not giving two cruds about school. I just wanted to do culinary, and I was sold out, and so kind of snuck around, got my GED without telling my parents. And then when it was graduation time, I told them that I wouldn't be graduating and that I already have my GED and that I'm leaving town. And I dropped it all on them, and I went to Arizona, and they helped me. I don't. I can't comprehend. I can comprehend why now as a parent, but I remember feeling, like, undeserving of their help. But for whatever reason, they still saw that I was still, you know, doing my best. It just. It just took a different path. And. And so I made my way out there, and I was there with my light childhood best friend, which, you know, may he rest in peace. He's no longer with us, but we had, like, a lifetime of adventures as kids, and, like, we're going to college together, and it was quite the experience. And so it's just weird. It was just like the time in our life, you know?

[21:58] ADRIANA WILCOX: And so we kind of jumped. We jumped forward and then now back a little bit and kind of catch back up. So.

[22:07] ROMAN WILCOX: So I'm working in the industry. Um, you end up working in the industry, you get front of the house stuff, start doing hosting if I'm. I worked at a fine dining, like, corporate establishment where I got hired right after our, our honeymoon. And then you got hired on, and we worked there for a couple years together.

[22:28] ADRIANA WILCOX: That was fun.

[22:29] ROMAN WILCOX: That was a lot of fun.

[22:30] ADRIANA WILCOX: We were very flirty. I remember it.

[22:32] ROMAN WILCOX: And young and, like, people thought we were cute because we were so little and married, and it was funny, except they would just call you Roman's wife that's at the front. And I didn't think that was very nice.

[22:48] ADRIANA WILCOX: That wasn't the last time that happened either, though.

[22:50] ROMAN WILCOX: Now you recall misses chef when I became a teacher. That's so funny, babe. And so. So we found ourselves working together there. At that point in our lives, we were very involved in church. Right. And.

[23:09] ADRIANA WILCOX: You even did, like, a year of seminary school. A lot of people don't know that about you.

[23:13] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, that's, like, a little tidbit, and I love that I did.

[23:17] ADRIANA WILCOX: That one was even surprising for me. I was, like, really? Yeah.

[23:22] ROMAN WILCOX: So, like, I felt. I always felt drawn to, like, serving people, and I think that's why the hospitality industry and culinary was, like, such a cool way to serve.

[23:32] ADRIANA WILCOX: Definitely.

[23:32] ROMAN WILCOX: And so, like, it was kind of a natural thing for me. I've always looked for my spirit place as a young person. I remember being, like, more involved spiritually in, like, my church space as a little kid than, like, my own parents. And, like, my mom finding her spiritual space space through me and my sister, you know, that was also, like, another.

[23:55] ADRIANA WILCOX: Aspect that made me feel really comfortable with you, because I, you know, my grandmother was very spiritual, and I grew up. No, she was Catholic.

[24:06] ROMAN WILCOX: Oh, Catholic.

[24:07] ADRIANA WILCOX: Catholic earlier on, and then she converted afterwards. But I had kind of lost that aspect for, you know, like, my young adult life, and then to, like.

[24:20] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah.

[24:20] ADRIANA WILCOX: You know, into. Well, when we first met, for sure. And so when it was something that you were seeking, it kind of, like, opened up my eyes again and my heart to, like, how comforting that was for me and how much. How much I wanted that back in my life, too. And so that was another thing that I kind of jumped in.

[24:43] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah.

[24:43] ADRIANA WILCOX: With you on, and then we just got pretty involved in church.

[24:49] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. With me. I, like, so, like, I suppressed that one. Like, I was trying to suppress that my whole, like, formidable years, because I was a party animal as a very young kid, and I just, like, I made a lot of, like, dangerous party decisions as a young person, and it wasn't healthy. And. And I always had this little spirit place at the center of me that would, like, fight it, like, always felt it. And so I, like, got really good at suppressing it just for the sake of having fun and being social and partying. And when I was with you, for some reason, whatever, all that crap didn't feel good anymore. I didn't feel like I was having fun anymore. And it, like, my spirit place, like, started, like, screaming out at me, and it got me back to church, and it's really cool, you know, it was what we needed in our lives, and we did need that spiritual foundation, being so young and so broke and so dumb, and we needed that spirit place, you know, and it really, like, helped us. So, yeah, I did that seminary thing. We both got into leadership, and then we did apartment life.

[26:07] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yes. Apartment life was, like, pivotal for us, and I had no idea at the time.

[26:15] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, we also bought our first home before that, because that was before, like, the housing crash of 2000.

[26:24] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yeah, we had no business.

[26:25] ROMAN WILCOX: No, we were kids with a brand new baby on the way, and we had this gorgeous two story house in Avondale, Arizona, with the tile floor and the modern this and the cute that with the $800 payment. But we knew nothing about land being assessed, and we knew nothing about taxes kicking in. And it was, like, new land and new property and all of that. So, like, overnight, it was gonna jump to, like, three times the amount, and we needed to figure out a plan. And that's when we started apartment life because. Because that was a situation where we.

[27:01] ADRIANA WILCOX: Needed to get out of that house because we weren't gonna be able to afford a. And there was already a lot of, like, foreclosures happening, and a lot of, like, it was already crashing for a lot of people.

[27:10] ROMAN WILCOX: And I had to walk out of my job because management changed, and they pushed me out. And so, like, I had to find my way out. And it was crazy times. And this opportunity with apartment life was basically, it's a christian nonprofit where we got to go in and you're provided with housing, so you are set in an apartment space, and you give 80 hours of community service to in partnership with the management there in the hopes of just creating connections and relationship with people, and then for the management, that creates retention and it's better for them.

[27:47] ADRIANA WILCOX: That was my first look into, like, the nonprofit sector altogether, because we had a budget of $150, and then it was just our job to, like, get people out of their apartments, get the hours going, get them kind of building community, and.

[28:03] ROMAN WILCOX: And we had a brand new baby.

[28:05] ADRIANA WILCOX: We had a brand new baby.

[28:06] ROMAN WILCOX: She was, like, not even a year old, our. Our beautiful baby. Same.

[28:10] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yes. And I think, like, it came back to food. We had such a successful experience there because you were such a damn good cook that people didn't care. It was like a. They didn't care to, like, they knew.

[28:27] ROMAN WILCOX: It was a trap. They knew it was a trapdeen. But the pozole, they would bring them.

[28:32] ADRIANA WILCOX: You know, and we. I just remember, like. Cause, you know, how we would have to get together with other cares team members that are placed at different apartments, and they were, like, always, you know, those first couple months, you know, even your first year, it's, like, just so hard. And we're like. We got all kinds of people showing up.

[28:49] ROMAN WILCOX: We got little kids following us around like little baby duckies.

[28:53] ADRIANA WILCOX: But it wasn't us.

[28:54] ROMAN WILCOX: It was the food.

[28:58] ADRIANA WILCOX: It was the food. How cool that whole experience is. What really formulated and formed us into what we do now?

[29:11] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. Yeah. We had a thing that we would do once a week called breakfast on the go, and we would always do it on Mondays. And we would put a banana, a honey bun, a juice box, and one of our flyers in a. And a little paper bag, and we.

[29:28] ADRIANA WILCOX: Would go out there at the exit at six in the morning, or 530 in the morning to catch people on their way out to work and give.

[29:34] ROMAN WILCOX: Them breakfast on the go and have a big door.

[29:37] ADRIANA WILCOX: And we had. Poor Sama. Sama went with us everywhere she was. But there was that one time. What happened that one time?

[29:47] ROMAN WILCOX: That one time where we were there, and then a police officer came up and asked what was in the bags and said that people were saying that we were giving drugs. We had a child with, first of.

[29:58] ADRIANA WILCOX: All, who gives away free drugs.

[30:00] ROMAN WILCOX: Giving drugs with a baby. No. We'd probably be trying to sell that, right? Like, you know, and we're like, nah, dude. And we showed him, like, it's a honey bun, and this is what we do. You want one? And he started laughing and was like, I'm sorry. Like, I had to check on this. And he's like, it did feel kind of weird. And we're like, no, we work with management, you know? But that was because we hadn't established it. That was one of our first.

[30:20] ADRIANA WILCOX: It's so funny. Like, when I. When people. When we would go up to people's cars at the exit and there would be some that, like, wouldn't even roll their windows, they would be mad, and it's cause they were scared that we were selling drugs. They didn't know that we were scared to give them.

[30:33] ROMAN WILCOX: I mean, we were like a couple of kids in sweatsuits with a baby and, like, dorky smiles. I don't know, the most non threatening bunch of people.

[30:43] ADRIANA WILCOX: We were new, though. They didn't. They hadn't had our food yet, I guess.

[30:47] ROMAN WILCOX: And then we became friends, and we had this ten month adventure with these people.

[30:53] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yep.

[30:54] ROMAN WILCOX: And I worked at the retirement center part time. You did this full time? And we're good. Yep, we were good. Like, we could do this. So it kind of leads us up to where. What we do now. So, like, within that time, what happened, babe? We had another baby eight years later. We decided when charis team time was coming up, I had decided that I wanted to come back home because Samay was getting older, and I wanted her to be with family and all of our families in El Paso. And again, your first answer to me was no. Much like our marriage. And then we came back, and it kind of sucked. We were, like, not able to do much, and I couldn't find work. And then I started working as a teacher. You got yourself back in school.

[31:43] ADRIANA WILCOX: I did. I started school when Samay was six months old in Phoenix, and then I graduated when Camille was. Oh, she was. I was pregnant with her.

[31:54] ROMAN WILCOX: You were pregnant with her?

[31:55] ADRIANA WILCOX: Yeah.

[31:56] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. So that was the journey. I mean, it took more time because we started so young.

[32:00] ADRIANA WILCOX: So, yeah, I was on that ten.

[32:01] ROMAN WILCOX: Year old, but you didn't stop, and you got your business degree, and I was hustling working at that point, and you were hustling and working. And I found myself in education. I taught at Montwood High School for eight years and at El Paso Community college, and I got to teach culinary arts. And it was at that point in time where I was able to take my service side of me, my culinary side of me, and my research of learning about the food system and agriculture and.

[32:29] ADRIANA WILCOX: And our community building that we started that we had no idea that that was community building.

[32:33] ROMAN WILCOX: We had no idea.

[32:35] ADRIANA WILCOX: Or community. What do you call it? I don't know. That we're community engaged.

[32:38] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, we don't build.

[32:39] ADRIANA WILCOX: We engage community.

[32:40] ROMAN WILCOX: We just hang with community. It all started there, like, with my students and just with the stuff that we were doing.

[32:49] ADRIANA WILCOX: So let's talk about one grub, then. That's.

[32:51] ROMAN WILCOX: I mean, absolutely. I was definitely heading that way. And so all of that came into focus. I decided that the way I wanted to do food needed to be in a way where it could be accessible to anybody and that it was a better example and a better use of our resources for the environment. And so I was able to start and open a community based cafe, a nonprofit one, in 2013, had an experience there, and then found myself having to figure other things out. And that was in 2015. And my community came around me, helped me, and along with yourself. And I was loaned a truck from our buddy gabe, and we started the one grub pop up.

[33:45] ADRIANA WILCOX: Well, you. Technically, you started that on your own.

[33:48] ROMAN WILCOX: I guess I just never feel alone.

[33:51] ADRIANA WILCOX: I know, I know. But you were. I had a job. I had a job at.

[33:58] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, you were working with the city.

[33:59] ADRIANA WILCOX: You got so busy that you needed help, and we weren't in a place to hire anybody, and so I left my job and came on board with you.

[34:09] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah. Cause you cared what we were doing because.

[34:12] ADRIANA WILCOX: And I wasn't happy where I was at. Like, I really wanted more. I think I needed to serve also. I think that was really calling me.

[34:21] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah.

[34:23] ADRIANA WILCOX: And I always admired what you did, and I always admired your work that you put in. So I was so ready to get on board and be a part of that and kind of find my own footing in this business we call one grub.

[34:41] ROMAN WILCOX: So we found ourselves on the truck, and at that point, we were working, like, five, six days a week. It was banging. We would take all of our tips and we would pull them, and then we would go do pay it forward events, like at places in the area in El Paso that needed, you know, healthy food. So we would go to the homeless shelters, we would go to the veterans shelter, to the women's places, you know, and for those.

[35:03] ADRIANA WILCOX: For listeners that aren't really familiar with one grub, like, what can you kind of just give a little synopsis as to?

[35:12] ROMAN WILCOX: So, like, for me, it's always been a food access, pay it forward project. You know, I wanted to bring the freshest, best food to El Paso that I knew how to do with my skill and do it in a way that it was accessible to anybody, no matter their circumstances. And so I had a taste of it. With the first project that I had started, I didn't feel like I was done when my time was up there. And so I was able to continue with the food truck. And then in two and a half months, the food truck was in a place where we can no longer repair it, and we had to give it back. And we were both unemployed because you had left your job. And so, again, we were guided by community friends, and we started a farmers market stand selling all of our products, 100% plant based. And we took a risk. We didn't know if vegan food was going to be okay. And you know what? The city was ready, and they responded, and they kept tipping, even though we were just a farmers market stand. So we were able to take food to, like, the immigrants at the Annunciation house or to, you know, the batter women's shelter or whatever, and keep that spirit moving. And we had to find a space, and wouldn't, you know, the space we found was the location of the first pay it forward business that I had a part in being a part of. And so, long story short, this is where we are now. We started that, and 2016 became a diner in 2019. And now we have a full service diner called one Grove Community Diner and what that is. It is located inside a first christian church in central, where central and downtown meet in El Paso. And it's just a meeting place for our beautiful community to come together, eat healthy food. Everything is totally plant based because it's better on the earth, it's better on our bodies. And if somebody only is going to have one meal in the their day, we want to make sure it's nutrition packed. And so we have this full menu. People can pay, and if they can't afford to pay, everybody that leaves tips and donations basically leaves money there for anybody that can't afford. So we have a coin system. People come in, they get a credit for $13 as it stands right now, which will cover basically anything on the menu. And they have a meal on the community, and we've just provided the vehicle to do that. Right, babe? But it's really like the people that.

[37:36] ADRIANA WILCOX: Come together and pay it forward 100% community supported. Like, we wouldn't be able to feed people without that, without the community's support.

[37:46] ROMAN WILCOX: So I love that, and I love that. We started planting for the people, our nonprofit, where you're the executive director and you're the farmer, the head farmer, and, you know, give like a. Give me, like, a minute of what that. Of what that is like. Mama.

[38:03] ADRIANA WILCOX: So planty for the people. It's a 501 C three nonprofit we started in 2018. And the reason we started it was because the church that we have our restaurant in had 52 garden beds already on site, but there was nobody tending to them. There wasn't any programming for them, and so they turned them over to us, and we decided to start a nonprofit so that it could be an extension of our food access initiatives. So what we do in the garden, I mean, it's really an urban farm. It's about a third of an acre. We are totally volunteer ran. We utilize the space to teach people how to grow food in the desert. We basically do hands on training by maintaining the garden space that we have there. So we come together with volunteers. I get anywhere from ten to 30 volunteers a week, and we just do everything from compost tea to fertigation to seed germination. We have a worm bin. We are regenerative practicing. We're really big on soil health, and we just kind of really try to get people to connect with the earth and connect with their food source, get them excited about growing food and feeding themselves and trying different foods. And it's a really, really awesome space that I didn't realize was going to feed my soul. As much as it has over the years. It has served me ten times more than I've served for served that program so well.

[39:56] ROMAN WILCOX: So it's been awesome and it's awesome to talk about what we've had going on here from 22 years ago up till now. And now we've had the opportunity to be recognized by Daniel Levy and I got to compete in the big brunch and have a crazy experience, which is a whole other story, but it's part of our story now and it's just nice to see what's going on and I can't wait to see where we go. Babe, I love you so much and I love my girls and I'm just grateful for our community.

[40:25] ADRIANA WILCOX: Love you, too. It's been a wild ride and I guess we're not getting off anytime.

[40:30] ROMAN WILCOX: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like we're just getting started, right? Love you, babe.

[40:35] ADRIANA WILCOX: Love you, too.