Sara Barry and Justine Lee

Recorded July 31, 2020 Archived July 30, 2020 52:00 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: ddv000078

Description

Sara Barry (39) speaks with her One Small Step conversation partner Justine Lee (33) about what shaped them as young women and what influences them today as they try to understand each other personally and politically.

Subject Log / Time Code

Sara was born in CA in mobile homes, her parents remarried, she had 7 siblings, she's been married twice and has five kids. She's proud of her membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Justine's parents immigrated from Taiwan 5 or 6 years before she was born. She's interested in journalism and cooking.
Sara remembers turning 18 and registering as a Republican because of her religion but finding out she was center left and voting for Hillary Clinton. She started listening to the radio and is now independent and right leaning. Her step-mom said if she really knew what was going on she'd be more conservative and she took on that challenge.
Justine remembers Bill Clinton on TV and the Monica Lewinsky scandal. She grew up in a blue state but felt that was none of our business. She first voted in 2008 and was inspired by Obama. 9/11 shaped her and her views of the country.
Sara doesn't like the current divisiveness. She says we used to agree to disagree especially those on the extreme left.
Justine says a lot of issues feel personal, like human rights.

Participants

  • Sara Barry
  • Justine Lee

Partnership Type

Outreach

Initiatives

Places


Transcript

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00:01 My name is Sara Berry. I'm 39. It's Friday, July 31st 2020. The city is city of st. George Utah. Justine is my partner's name and she's the OSS partner.

00:20 Awesome. So I'm just seeing Lee I am I turn 30 for next week. Today is Friday, July 31st 2020. I'm calling from New York City at Sarah is my partner and she is my OSS partner.

00:41 5 minute bio. Do you want to go for a Sarah? Sure? Okay, not right now. I was if you need something go ask your brother. Do you get charged for the next hour? What?

01:03 Only if no rain stop watching right now. I need you guys to be quiet.

01:09 Woman let her start new show. I told you to go play your 3DS or my 3DS.

01:13 How to turn off I'm done. Sorry. Okay. I'm a mom Canoga Park, California. I grew up mostly in San Fernando and Santa Clarita Valley's a lot and apartments and mobile homes, because when I was really young my parents got divorced.

01:39 I saw I was raised by two families at three houses had stayed because there is a lot by my mom.

01:47 By my dad and my grandparents my grandparents were big influence in my life for the rest of us about 8 and went to church with them every Sunday and it's like that so they were a big influence especially in my earlier remarried right before I turn 9.

02:14 I ended up with having a total of 7 siblings.

02:21 My mom had two boys my dad and stepmom had three boys.

02:26 I'm and then my mom adopted another boy and another girl when I was in high school.

02:33 They're all way under that me it's the oldest is almost eight years younger than me. And the youngest is 18 years younger than me.

02:44 I see here. That was pretty much at when I was 11 my mom moved to Missouri.

02:52 I hated it the first chance I got when I went to HighSchool I moved in with my dad and it wasn't so much that I didn't want anymore. I just did, Missouri.

03:06 So then I want to go back to California. So that's what my dad lives in Victorville. I went to high school Fair.

03:17 Life wasn't so easy. My dad was a little abusive mostly bourbon the mostly but I did get a couple instances of physical abuse.

03:29 My mom it was hard with her too. Because my whole life I grew up. She had bipolar disorder and I was always afraid that one day she died because when I got older and understood what happened because my grandma committed suicide, but my mom has 15, so I was just terrified that that was going to happen to my mom. So I guess my difficulties at growing up I moved back to my mom actually right before I graduate from high school. And at this point we were in

04:04 Gilbert Arizona, which is a suburb outside of Phoenix.

04:08 And then I'm

04:12 I tried going to school there. It didn't work very well because of my idiocy which I was diagnosed.

04:22 When I was in Middle School, but I was sick kids like siblings had it worse headed snake ever had it then I moved around a lot to California with my grandparents then I got married.

04:39 Then I got divorced.

04:42 Man, I got remarried. I have one child with my first husband and I have four children with my second husband pregnancies because I lost my baby with a miscarriage early miscarriage. And yeah, that's pretty much and I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints and that's about it.

05:13 Thank you for sharing Sarah.

05:20 Yeah, you oh, so at this point I just share my bio, but I'm not necessarily asking questions are like, okay got it.

05:31 So

05:33 I also grew up in California. So we have that in common right off the bat. I grew up in Northern California though and my family was much smaller. I grew up with both my parents who immigrated from Taiwan maybe five or six years before I was born and they immigrated to for Education. My dad was study chemical engineering and my mom was a study special education and

06:12 I agree with I was born two and a half years later. My brother was born and I feel like my childhood was when I look back on it. It was mostly happy. But there were definitely some dark spots are dark times similar to Sarah. My father was also could be emotionally verbally abusive and at times physically abusive and I think that at the time especially in the middle and high school, I really resented him and that was probably the darkest part of my childhood that I was very close to my mom and brother and we also had a family dog and I also had many friends and so I think that helped me feel more confident about myself

07:08 And feel like I had

07:10 I'm meeting a purpose in the world.

07:14 I've always been a very curious person since I was young I wanted to be a journalist and was just always reading and asking questions and

07:27 You know, I asked my parents question and one as soon as we had we got the internet when I was in Middle School, I be like looking things up. But we had like, you know, like looking things up encyclopedias and all that stuff. I was just I've always been a curious person and I've always really love being in groups of people. I think that has to do with the fact that like whenever I would feel like I wanted to get away from my house. I wanted to be with friends and so I just like the idea like Gathering people and crane warm environments. I've also always loves to eat and cook and my desire to really learn more like Explorer cooking more started and in college when I actually had to cook for myself.

08:18 And yeah college for me was a big turning point of my life because it was the first time that I was leaving home I left so I grew up in the Bay Area in California and I left for college. I went across the country to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, and I was there for four years and just realized that there were so many

08:44 I just got to know people from different parts of the country and kind of got out of my bubble.

08:52 And yeah, I think that

08:56 There's just been a lot of

09:00 I don't think I've liked in terms of my core values. I don't think I've changed much over the years. Like I I I still I'm a very family-oriented person very friend oriented person and really love.

09:14 Story City Journal isn't like that journalists and me is still there, even though I didn't end up pursuing journalism. Also, another thing that I think it has affected me is the fact that I graduated from college in 2008, which was the horrible reception. And so at that time I just ended up

09:39 Kind of being willing to take any job and I think that did Rue plant a seed of insecurity and me from job insecurity, but I think that I've always had this drive to to create and so make America dinner again as an example of that. And yeah, and I'm glad that I started it because I've gotten to meet people like you Sarah.

10:08 Yeah.

10:13 Show the next question.

10:15 Can you tell me about someone who has been kind as to you in your life?

10:26 Oh, okay. Let's see.

10:31 I think it's probably well. I don't have to take this to my grandparents. They they really taught me. I have a lot a lot of my core values in worldviews and philosophies. Can I come from them? They they were really good to do. You know when I was young but then also I was going through a really hard time in my life in my early twenties not really knowing and I think a lot of people that need to go through not really knowing where I was what I was doing where to go being a little bit boy is fast an obsessive getting married when she was not good. And is that with me marrying the wrong person but having been having that bedrock

11:21 Tullian from is really important and really helpful to be and they've just even when they were.

11:30 Kind of being parent Lee zero is very kind about it is very different from what I received from my parents. So it was really good. I'm I'm glad I got to live with them for two years. It was the best time of my adult life. That's for sure.

11:51 Was this your mom's parents are your father's parents and my mom's dad died from lung cancer when I was 5 but got everything about that as I never had any desire to take any drugs, especially not cigarette cuz that my mind cigarettes killed my grandfather, so I wasn't going to touch them.

12:24 I know Sarah has to Steven Wright. Okay. Can you tell me about someone has been handed to you in your life?

12:39 Yes, so a family member my mom's older sister. My Aunt is one of the kindest people I know and she is she lives in Taiwan and she was a nurse for her entire career with a nurse in a nursery. So she works with newborns and she is just one of the most caring people ever.

13:17 But not in a way that feels like smothering or you know, just kind of like the the right amount or feel like the right amount.

13:29 So I moved to Taiwan I lived in Taiwan for 2 years in my mid-twenties until like 24 25. And when I move to Taiwan, she really just like took care of me and showed me the ropes and you know take me grocery shopping. Another thing about my aunt is that she's she never said she never got married and she didn't have children. And so she ended up taking care of my grandparents as they got older they both came up with her. She took care of them. You know, she had obviously training with a nurse and but she just also is like a very sensible like

14:17 Felt self-sacrificial person selfless person I get to the better word and

14:25 Yeah, she's just she's just always been kind to me in like can tell if she can read people. Well so she can always tell us like something is bothering me something's on my mind just always rooting me and I think that because she's never been married or had kids will just another thing about her is I wouldn't say she's naive but I think she has this kind of Innocence about her about the world. And and so I think that

14:57 I might not always tell her like all my thoughts or you know.

15:05 I don't know but there's just as kind of like simple affection that we have for each other. And yeah, she's just

15:17 I ate I feel like because I know so after my grandparents passed away and my aunt was then had the living alone and had no one to take care of. I did definitely feel like oh I want to I want to be there to take care of her. However, I can't even though we're still need thousands of miles away from each other. So I will send her messages. We liked on Facebook and I both sent her cards in the mail.

15:45 But yeah, she's also very independent though. So she swims sheep water paints and is really good at it and she feels her time and I think not only is she kind but she is someone who inspires me because I see that you can be she's an example of someone who can you know live a solo life solitary life and be fulfilled and and kind of be just like, you know, someone that I respect and look up to

16:19 Yeah, okay. So the next question is

16:22 What is what is your earliest memory of politics?

16:30 I guess I don't know. I remember turning 18 and just registering for the Republican party because that's what you were if you were LDS or a member of the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints. That's just like what was in my head? It didn't really know and then in government class you have to take a test and then I found out I was more Center to left.

16:58 So then I ended up just dropped the other Pelican party becoming an independent.

17:03 And then I registered for the Democrats.

17:07 In 2008 so I can vote for Hillary in the primaries.

17:14 And then after around 2009 to the 10 after my divorce and after I was a single mom in the recession, that was tough. Yeah, I started listening to radio shows at things just started changing and I start getting more Center again with back to just being an independent and dependent now, but I'm much more rightly named then. I was just anxious go away started.

17:52 I didn't know it was mostly cuz my stepmom said if you really knew what was going on you be more conservative.

18:01 And I took that as a challenge. So this is kind of our relationship with her. I'll show you and I'm going to learn more and I'm still going to be less cleaning and she ended up being right.

18:21 Interesting. Yeah.

18:25 Oh, yes, and then I'll take it. I keep hitting the wrong.

18:32 Okay, what is your earliest memory of politics?

18:37 So my earliest memory would have to be Bill Clinton on TV and whole just like the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal. I was in Middle School, I think.

18:57 I don't remember how old I was but I remember thinking like like it was on the news all the time and in newspapers there was an internet or maybe I don't know if there is internet. Anyway, just remember thinking like a like a really big deal, but I don't fully understand.

19:17 And you know in California because California is a blue State and the bay area where a group is. Also blue. I think that I still somehow even though I knew what he did was wrong. She lied, you know to the public I still felt like oh, like for some reason this idea had been drilled in my mind it like, oh a president's Private Affairs and what they choose to do like

19:45 Outside their marriage within their marriage or whatever is like does not actually affect how how they are the president and Bill Clinton with a good president and he you know, like I think that I think that this is understandable I and it sounds like flirty Sterilite. I just kind of like two things. I just took whatever information was, you know being shared with me. It's a song goes like this must be true and it just so I I've been at

20:15 You know, even though that was my first political memory, I still found myself because my parents and like I guess friends parents with the environment generally was like more cleaning and Democratic of the democratic party. That's just how I registered as well.

20:34 When I could go Petit my first the first time I can vote was for was in 2008. So that was a really big deal because it was the year that you know Obama was elected and I think it was and I was in college that was just like this. I think I felt very inspired by him and many people around he felt inspired by him. And yeah, but I think that slowly

21:05 Especially the best air I think I just started realizing like oh, oh, oh not realizing me about realizing and learning that actually what you hear in the Muse and what you scared, you know, you see is not always what has happened actually happen a lot of stuff happening behind the scenes and things are not so simple and especially with the whole inner like 9/11. The war is a subsequent Wars.

21:30 Yeah, I actually think about it 911 is also really shaped will saved our country but also shape.

21:38 Me and my my I guess.

21:43 My views of our country. I think that it's kind of like lifted this this just made me realize that things are more complicated and not that the US Open always make the best decisions and isn't the best country in the world always and

22:02 Yeah, just made me a little more. I guess critical or skeptical.

22:09 Acquisitive

22:12 Yeah.

22:15 Okay, why did you want to do? Why did you want to do this interview today Sarah? Well, I love stories too. But I like to think of it more as my I mean, I never studied it a little bit but not really. It's more of a anthropologist. I love stories. I Love Culture style of learning how they grew up with things. And so I I wanted to hear from somebody else and I was also kind of

22:51 Happy to talk to somebody who has a different culture than me.

22:56 Cuz I I love hearing about other people's experiences and how they grew up maybe differently than I did. So, yes, so that was

23:07 It for me. Yeah, and then doing that and then why did you want to do the same reason? Honestly, I just I will I've I've known about storycorps for a while now for at least, you know, six or seven years and I've always loved their

23:33 I love the concept and I love the stories that I've heard on the radio. And so I I just want an opportunity to participate and yeah, I I think that I was really excited to bring this to the group felt like you know, usually I'm a facilitator a moderator. I'm a little bit more behind the scenes, but I just like I actually want to

24:04 Participate so I can I can better relate to folks who have participated and know what the experience is like. And yeah, I also was looking forward to learning more about you Sarah, but I feel like we've gotten like little Snippets here and there in the messenger thread and through emails and stuff. But I feel like I've already like learned so much more about you that I didn't know before so yeah, I have that background.

24:36 Yeah, and I really appreciate how open you've been that's just who I am.

24:45 I can continue helping you but you're off on your own now unless you need my help with questions free you mentioned earlier that you did not like Missouri and I actually hated Missouri and I'm curious why I've never been there but very well big torch as beautiful as long as you can stand the weather, which I can't I absolutely hated it. It's way too wet. I hate Humanity I grew up in the desert went back to the desert as soon as I could. I like the desert. I don't like you going to be too hot and humid in the summer and just way too cold in the winter. I heard from some people who live in a dry cold that wet. Cold is also worse. I don't know. I've never lived in dry cold.

25:45 Another reason why I like living in the desert combination of desert kind of meat right where I'm at, but mostly it's still the Mojave Desert the high desert of the Mojave Desert. So kind of like that beat I have it's kind of funny. I went to high school at the other end of the Mojave Desert now, I'm living on the opposite end of the Mojave Desert.

26:14 Interested in there, but I'm curious now the other set California but the San Bernardino County part of it. But yeah is it is most of it residential or some of it. Like I don't know what the right where it is, but like untouched or most of it and a man that will stay untouched Red Cliffs reserve and we're not even when she get outside or so a lot of her or just a touch and retouch their stuff not very far from me either. I forget which one it is, but there is an Indian Reservation, of course, that's mostly untouched.

27:14 That's what city is grown a lot 1015 because a lot of people like me all over the place. So I I love it because it's kind of like I feel like it's my people cuz a lot of people who are my face a lot of the way I do but a lot of them are also from Southern California dislike me so it's kind of interesting. Okay? Yeah.

27:47 I would say that that will actually like an okay one other question I have in did you always know that you wanted to have children yet? I always wanted children. I was wanting to be a stay-at-home mom as a matter fact, I by profession I suppose before that was I was a teacher and I was a preschool teacher specifically and I actually went I had an early childhood degree preschool just excited go back to school to do that before.

28:25 You just be loved being around and working with children loved it there babies or the the Pre-K or right before kindergarten and yeah, I loved it. But once I have kids I never want to be a preschool teacher ever again cuz I got bored out with my own kids and I love my own kids, but I don't want each other anymore.

28:49 But I feel like it's kind of a trip. It was kind of like Mom training.

28:55 Yeah, I also really love kids. Actually. I don't have any kids of my own but I just think that they're I don't know why I feel like every time I meet a kid, I'm always so impressed. But like I always think like a well I don't think I was that.

29:14 Smart or insightful when I was that age or like I feel like there's so much to learn from kids because they just they are unfiltered at times or they like to say what's on their mind and they're making observations that are very like you're almost you know, and so I don't know. I just really appreciate either willingness to learn and their I'm innocent, you know, any other kid and play with them and they don't care about all the stuff that go ask her about.

29:52 Which is really nice. Do you know it's very pure that way it is they don't they don't care about color or religion or sex or any of that stuff. All they care about is us another kid around my age. I want to play with it.

30:10 Yeah, it is. It is really nice. When I see that a vet has been had one girl one time at school used to have a button-up shirt. Be from India and I have Bank of Pakistan visited their home countries that are you going to do it. She got all happy and she just saw that I was wearing Indian clothes. So that must mean I was in season 2.

31:03 So that was really sweet. That is really sweet. Yeah.

31:11 I would not yet. You you are married, right?

31:14 I'm not married. Actually. OK I couldn't remember if both you and Siri ever married or just Tri it was married. I wasn't tree has married last year. I have two cats and they are I think that they do want to have children, but I'm not sure what they're going to start trying and then I am not married. I don't have kids but I think I since I was young. I like to have this I thought I was going to be married. Like I had this plant you know that I was being married by 27 have my first kid by 30 and it just didn't end up that way. Like I've been on several relationships, but it just that they haven't worked out and I think that I saw or I've served my parents marriage which state my parents are still together, but they had a really a marriage and and I think my mom was especially unhappy and could

32:14 That she could have been happier with someone else and my dad has anger issues.

32:21 And so I think that I've also been really cautious about marriage like I I think that

32:29 I want to avoid marrying someone like my dad. He's gotten better with a hitch for now and my brother and his wife are about to expected their first child in a couple months. So that's like really soften to my dad. He's like really excited to be a grandfather and is like whenever we're talking about the baby just smiling and excited to like what has been like bringing food that my sister-in-law Jessica has been craving and like just really wants to take care of her and make sure she's okay. So that's been really cool to see but I definitely think that like

33:12 Throughout my life in terms of like getting intimate romantic relationships. I've always just been like oh, I need to avoid Mary, like my dad and anytime I've dated someone there been a couple people. I've dated long-term where I start seeing signs and they were like my dad and I just started building walls. And anyway, so I think that yeah, I would still like to find a life partner, but I also have accepted that if it doesn't happen, I I also feel like I have the community, you know, even if all my friends and family end up getting married having kids. I will just have to find Community another ways, but I feel like being single for a good portion of my adult life is really like that. I guess maybe more independent and made me focus on my relationship with myself and helped me better understand myself.

34:08 Just giving me a lot of times like reflected work on the things that I want to work on.

34:16 Internally now and then also like externally and but yeah, I do I do think if I meet the right then I would love to I would love to have a kid.

34:31 Sarah there's some interference on your phone. I'm like knocking on my baby's leg. Maybe yeah that way.

34:55 Unfortunate because of paper phone I have I only have Bluetooth headphones.

35:00 Is better

35:06 You're so smart of you because I actually really wish that I had paid more attention to my parents and been more cautious. I end up marrying somebody who grew up. I don't like both my dad's butt in the bad way. She was a lot like my dad and then he was just very organized things like that. And I said, that would be a good tea, but because we had

35:43 Because he was a parent very disorganized. I'm very scatterbrained understands that and yes, he's definitely more organized person in our relationship because I need that but he's patient. He's gentle he's kind he

36:09 The most patient person time person. I know and he just is very, you know

36:17 That is who you are. That's okay. I'm going to try to help you, but I'm not going to parent you. I'm not your parent on your husband. So it works out. It's good.

36:30 Doppler Dave, so that's good is

36:46 Yeah, so he what's up with him is actually my youngest brother cuz that's his sick. He's mad functioning conversation and stuffing both of them a lot stopping my dad a lot gave him a lot more patience and then my stepmom also gave her patients but kind of made her she's always been very very organized and very perfectionist and Mary. This is the way things are very proper and she's bored. She accepts message now and she's much less of a perfectionist and much more understanding of other people's fault because now she understands like sometimes for houses get completely torn apart and like literally things being destroyed.

37:39 Because of my brother so she kind of all sudden understood that at times things just can't be perfect.

37:46 Yea though and oh, yeah, Grandma used to always know you're not religious but comes along and ruins them.

38:01 Cheapest best friend happened to her cuz she she wanted to go to nursing school before she had kids but she won't hurt to graduate from high school and my grandpa really supported that and then they were going to go to nursing school for she had kids.

38:21 But because the way birth control worked back then she didn't really even know about condoms.

38:29 She knew what size Fram but you will couldn't get fitted for one until you were married and they got married in Utah rather than California and we're going straight from the honey movement so she can stop there till after her head and she came back at you with pregnant.

38:45 Oh got it. Yeah, so she had with babies right away by babies and the first six year she was married.

38:54 A cloud that she found out later that she had reproductive issues and of having hysterectomy in her early thirties, and if she hadn't had babies right away and as quickly as she had to have any children at all.

39:09 How she said it was her plans were ruined but it was the best hands because God knew what was that? That's what she said.

39:18 Oh, that's nice. That's really nice. Yeah, I kind of learned to just go with the flow and control what I can and not have too much the expectations and I think that I've just been become a more like practice a lot of gratitude.

39:42 Especially in my 30s the desk like starting in my late 20s, just like thinking of my grandparents passed away and my parents kind of went through that and we're grieving I got to digest realize that life is you know,

39:58 That life that this cycle or the circle of life just really resonated with me and I just realize like okay my parents are going through this right now and I'm going to be going through this at some point, you know, like I'm going to lose my parents and I'm going to be grieving that's really scary to think about and I don't want to think about it, but then it just made me think like well, I want to make the most of my time with them and I just want to

40:31 Parish that like simple memories with them and you know, which is interesting because I did move across the country to New York. They're still in the Bay area, but I talk to them like almost I can talk to them like once a week. We do like a video chat sometimes more.

40:51 But I think that

40:53 Yeah, I think that it just kind of take life one day at a time.

40:59 And really try to show everyone like everyone important to me like how much I care about them as as much as I can sing. I love you writing postcards checking in the sting like emotionally supportive and that sort of thing. So yeah. Yeah, I think that's great. I kind of have that same philosophy towards my mom because she seems to be pretty healthy turn on the right medicine for the longest time. I never she could just what day I can get the phone call. I still have that fear in the back of my head that one day. I'll just get the phone call and she'll just begun and I'll never know when that tastes going to happen. So yeah, I just try to love her as much as I can. I think with a lot of people don't realize is mental illness is a some mental illness is known all but a lot of mental illnesses are deadly

41:50 Is don't watch Super Sentai. They just one day from there. A lot of these things suicide is a real risk and it

42:03 So I consider it a deadly illness.

42:07 Yeah, I would figure one day either that'll kill her or the meds. She has to take to have a normal healthy life and to live longer ultimately will kill her for another her illness will kill her.

42:21 Bright, how often do you see your mom?

42:34 8 years or so she gets this restlessness wandering bug a dad says it's cuz of her bipolar. I don't know and she has to move to another state.

42:46 So I stayed so she's been there for about eight years ago. And so she doesn't feel like she doesn't know. I told her she said that she would deny it but she doesn't I see that there's a question here that Amy just posted. Is there anything about the current political climate that you do not like the divisiveness?

43:20 I mean before we could agree to disagree and that was just fine. People are at each other's throats and

43:29 You can't have a difference of opinion. I think especially if you're not putting you in this category at all, but it's best to be if you are at the very far extreme left.

43:41 I guess they're both brothers down. I still think of him as my sister over there. Now. He identifies as a man. It's still hard for me to think of him as a brother.

43:54 He was my only sister, but the two of them they are very very left and they just sometimes just attacked me for my views and I can't even disagree with him anymore. So I just don't even talk about politics if it all possible with him. He said always turned out really bad.

44:16 I'm very hateful and it's just really makes me sad that they can't just accept me for a sec. If I have a different view all the sudden I'm being hateful one and I'm being missed. And I'm not I don't think I am saying anything that hateful I've just disagreeing with him and I just feel like that's the same now is like if you disagree with me, you're hateful, you're a bigot you're racist your this and that and it's like no I just disagree with you.

44:48 Yeah, I can understand that. I can understand that being frustrating.

44:54 Especially with family because

44:57 You know you have you have some shared experience you have history and like, you know, that's really tough.

45:07 I I do feel like I would not identify as far as last time I

45:17 But I think that one reason why cuz I've I have I can understand if we know without knowing much I

45:28 Without knowing much about like what exactly the issues were that you and your siblings were discussing what I have felt and in front of friends of mine who are a little more far less than me. I think that and did a lot of

45:47 I think that maybe they go to that place quickly if saying okay a believing the other side is hateful because it feels like a day.

46:02 I think it's I think it says that it's no longer like the what we're talking about is feels personal a lot of the things, you know, I'm a lot of the issues that human rights.

46:19 Thinking about programs that would help people and and just talking about people experiences the validity of their experiences, I think.

46:34 I think that it feels really personal the cancel personal and it sometimes hard to separate.

46:43 Yeah, I don't know if there's a way around it. To be honest when it is about issues that deception that people on the right don't care about people and we still care about people are solutions are just different and I think that's just a really bad. But the other thing I hate is your Christian or you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Therefore you are homophobic in UK gay people.

47:17 My sister is part of the lgbtq community. I don't hate trans. People are gay people. I'm not homophobic. So I feel

47:31 You know very hurtful. So I just it's almost the same cuz I know I guess technically I could change my face but it's so ingrained in who I am, but I can't change it. It is who I am as much as

47:46 You at your parents think I want these immigrants as part of who you are in my ancestry. I just to me it's just as much a part of who I am.

48:01 And so just to say oh, well, you must be hateful just because of something that I can't change. It's just very hurtful to me. It feels bigoted to me.

48:14 Yeah, this is bad, you know cuz you're assuming that I've some way just because of something that I can't change just because of something that I am who I am.

48:24 Yeah, I can understand that. I think that.

48:29 I would be really frustrated too. And I think that there are many Christians and many just many people of faith. I'm yes, I'm not religious, but I have plenty I have family and close friends who are and

48:48 Yeah, it doesn't I mean

48:53 I think the I think that there's a lot of I think that many religions teach love and kindness and acceptance, but I think if there's just been this it this picture has been painted about

49:09 Really really religious folk and it's not I don't believe it's accurate. I think that is unfortunate. Yeah. I don't know how it got to this point. But I do think that there must be some like really strong loud voices how the PS4 trade or how it happens. But like I think when when you have an opportunity like we have today to like actually talk to each other. I guess you don't know you can't know how someone feels about gay people about trans people or about anyone unless you get to know them. And so unless you ask them and it's gotten comfortable to ask him that question. But if you really, you know, you can't just tell by knowing a flake there.

50:00 Yes, I know yet. I really am glad I got to talk to you.

50:12 Same Tara and I know we'll get to it will continue to get to know each other better and I still want to like meet all your kids one by one in like kind of know what they're all each about at some point and I'm homeschooling this year. So I just decided last journey a new dirty. Oh, wow, so like for the next like starting in a month or so it worked out if we will time or part-time. I haven't decided that yet. We're going to see how it goes.

50:55 Okay. Well, I wish you so much luck and I noticed this kind of the weird offer. But like if you ever need like half an out 20 or 20 minutes or half an hour of time for one of your kids to just like be distracted, I would be totally up for like getting on a video chat with them and reading a book to them or I don't know it. Yeah, cuz we're we're actually I've decided we're going to do a lot of unit and will take cultural studies. So at one point that be great for them to hear like about a different culture and stuff. I also want to find somebody that Japanese culture.

51:45 Yeah, I would be happy to share with them a little bit about Taiwanese recording.