Sarah Gibson and Patricia Perdomo

00:06 My name is Sarah Patricia Perdomo Gibson. I am 29 years old. Today is Saturday December 21st, 2018, and I'm here at storycorps in Atlanta with my mom.

00:22 My name is Patricia Perdomo. I'm 62 years old and today is Saturday, December 21st.

00:33 2019 and we are here at historic crops in Atlanta in.

00:45 You're here with me. Yeah, I'm here with my daughter Sarah. Okay. Well, we'll go ahead and get us started mom. So I told you a little bit about what we're doing here before we got here, but I'll give you a little more information. So I'm a 29th birthday. I decided that I was going to make a list of 30 things that I wanted to do before I turn 30 and this is one of the things I've known about storycorps 4Ever I learned about him from a TED Talk and I always thought it was such a beautiful idea to come and interview my whole family. So here we are. This is on my list. I've already interviewed David. You're the second one, and I'm excited. I'm excited cuz we're going to talk about your life and have that memory forever. We talked about that has something that's important to me. So I kind of just wanted to start with the basics and just ask your mom about where you were born. And if you could just tell me

01:45 Your parents names and your siblings names in order and then just tell me a little bit about your family. Okay. My my mother's name is Ara.

01:56 And my father says Henry or Enrique. My oldest brother is is we are like seven in my oldest brother's name is Henry to Enrique. Then I have earlier in Jaime. To you Lea me of course and then my youngest sister Margarita and where were you guys going? We were born in Colombia. What city in managing? Okay. And how long did you live there?

02:38 Volume up to United States. I'd leave like 16 years 16 years. She moved here when you're 16. Yes. Yes. I was 16. I just came to finish high school and I came to Boston. Okay, and that's what I finished high school. So what made you decide to go finish school and Foster? You know, I just wanted to learn the language when I was in in in Columbia day. They they you have to take English. Okay, and I hated it. I was like, oh my God, but I did anything and everything that for them to you know, kick me out of the car and not insult. My mother told me, you know Patty if you want to go home because my older sister was over here ready, Chester View.

03:38 University of Massachusetts and she was married already and so did you say what did you go and you can finish high school over there and I say I loved it says you live with her. Yes. I did. Yes, I do. So I came in and I just immediately went to to the high school not knowing anything was the name of the high school to remember Needham High School near him. We're in a demita in Needham, Massachusetts. Yeah, I went to that high school. I love my the people that were around me that I didn't know how to say anything at all. But soon enough I learned it in India. That's that's what I did. I didn't know that you went to HighSchool. I finished high school in here. That's what's so yes. Yes my last year of high school like I did it over there. So I know that Nana Vera my aunt introduced.

04:38 Unidad can you tell me a little bit about meeting Dad? Well, when I came in I guess a day after I came in my my oldest sister. I mean she was like a Matchmaker. Well, she want to meet a guy that I mean, he's a wonderful wonderful guy and I save really yeah, it's from Columbiana sale really because I used to like older guys while you still do real time. I was very young and he was already working and his career was going to have his own car. He has his own everything. I just had a bicycle.

05:25 So that's when I she told me about it and now and then a week later than he was invited to her house for dinner. I made your father there. So it's kind of like a blind date. Did he know that he was coming to meet you right? I did not wish it was she like oh come over for dinner and all he said she said no come over for dinner and he knew that his younger sister little sister has a comment but in the seat that was a case, but when I stole your party, I really like this guy was like, oh my God, he I loved it the way that he was with a turtleneck white turtleneck and everything into you look handsome and I say, wow, I like it. But this just yesterday that he was looking at me.

06:25 Citigold she go on like a first date or not. Like like at 2 this later. Really? Yeah. Say yeah. Yeah, let's go or did we win a downtown in Boston and in a he told me things and he talked to me about a lot of little things and I was mesmerized about just like walk around town and I used to this is this is why I marry him because I thought he was older and he knew what he was talking about and University was nice. It was no like meeting a 17 year old was talking about popcorn and and chewing gum. So this is what a real you know, okay, so that's why I like very very much so

07:25 You hadn't been in the country that long when you my dad. So, how is your English? Did you guys just speak Spanish to each other and kind of bond over the fact that you were in a country that you couldn't really like you were still learning the language and the culture like was that something that was like nice for you to find that in each other. I find a very nice. I mean the I am telling you I made him a days after I came in so of course, I didn't know you met him $8 a day for me the whole country the whole city the whole building say everything was new. So how long were you and Dad dating before you got engaged. Do you measure funniest thing?

08:12 You put and I really never got engage what never got engage.

08:18 Okay. So how did you end up getting what happen is that we used to talk a lot, you know every now and then yeah, they were they were times. I thought that we had like two or three times we can send the road and then what time does we never did so but what happened to cease I since I was in high school, okay. I used to go out with my friends from high school. So he was like what 16 17 years old and he has your father been water 28 almost. Okay. So that was very difficult for me to combine these two groups in just just be in the house and whatever and I said this is boring so I say, okay. Goodbye, and I see you later and whatever then I left to take.

09:18 I went to your father's apartment. So knock at the door to pry open safe. What is you doing here? Now? I just came to say hi. And that's your sister know that you here. I know but you know, we can just talk and not in. So that's that's how that's how it happened. So they let alone I went out with there was another guy that used to like me. It was just about the same age as your father. And so the two of them is named I don't quite remember that this point but anyway, he was from Columbia also and they happened to go to my sisters because my sister was going to go in and out in and so they've happened to all the two of them. And so I say, okay, let's go that you were there made me I don't care so we went and then I just decided to talk a lot more to your father.

10:18 The weather guy disappear, so and then later on. I don't believe it was not even a year. I mean police this month later. Your father asked me one day if you wanted to go have an ice cream and I say yeah, so we went to have ice cream and he says to me so party, what would you say if I asked you to marry me this is what happened and I feel like you and I was sitting and I say to him. Yeah. I know of course. I'm in a divorce out of the blue. I mean, I don't like later on. Why did you ask me that I didn't say because I wanted to and why did you answer? Yes, and I said well maybe because I wanted to I mean I was he was he was very young and in until I thought this was like a

11:16 Ako

11:18 Oh.

11:21 It maybe leave kind of thing. You know what it means something that you can you can do in this do this, you know erase and no time. OK would you see what I mean? This is it was it was like ham

11:37 Will you get you did get married but I ain't Webley, but we need we did but that doesn't exist. A Fairy Tale 2 weeks later because it then when you finally told me it's he said he said what if we go to use to you sister and we say to your sister that you are going to marry me and I say yeah, let's go. So, is it really so I said, yeah, so we went to my sister and my sister say oh that's cool. So are we all right? Yes, Olivia T really like Daddy did a very much very much. So then

12:23 He has me. So when do you want to get married I save and he said well, how about in 2 months and I say yeah. Okay. So we got married. Where did you get married? So we got married and eat them too and in the Catholic church over there. I don't remember the name of the church. My wedding was like him. He'll I believe because I love to wear my dress my white raised my bail. I feel like a like a million dollars. I feel like like Cinderella. Okay and a nice hole in my brother came in and my mom and my my my brother. To you and my mom already in so my cousins from from

13:22 Do they come to Columbia where they'll even know what they mean? And then I feel like like you like like a princess. So I when I saw these they motion came to pick me up and I feel like oh my God, this is heaven. So I went and I got married and we came back home and everything was like unbelievable. So then two weeks later. I got like a really so do I have to be here all the time? Oh my God, and then I was teasing about my friends from high school that they never knew, so they were invited me places and I couldn't go

14:09 And so that created it. I only took I only told one one of my friends and the reason why is this if you get married

14:24 And you still in high school. Do you have to leave the high school? Do you have to go to another school? Okay, so but you are not to be with with the girls that are really sawdust us away was like you never see a girl that is pregnant and they seem high school you never do in Columbia. Was it common for like a younger girl to marry an older man to ever done, not common, but absolutely no. Yeah. So like I mean, I imagine if like that was something that they kept separate that they were, you know other girls like you in Columbia getting married and then having to go to a separate school. I didn't know they didn't have to go to another school, but they but they can get married. They can get married like you have kids that can fly Society Society.

15:24 In and I believe that that's the way it's still he's even though you have changed a lot into relationships with between girls and guys change although his notice as open as it is over here is still is something that is is is is is something that Society they understand a lot more right now like when I was younger I never could say I'm going to go out with my boyfriend to the beach and then go there and stay without my mom or anybody. You know, that is Alder no way. So that wasn't that was just do that. Ok, but later on in life. My niece niece is Maria Elena came from Columbia with her boyfriend. Okay, and they went to Massachusetts and they were not even marry. No. Yes. Yes.

16:24 Change but you didn't feel that same pressure in the United States. Did you you just felt that way because that's where you came from as far as separating your friends and Dad or was that the same way here in the you know it in the United States was was more difficult. Okay, but it's noted that is no difficulty in Colombia in the sense of of you being young and having you pierce as being somebody that is already working and how you can really have KY her money and had everything so it is it's a combination of how can you how can you put inside your father? How can he talk to a bunch of kids so he felt like what? Okay information myself, how can I talk to say older people that my husband used to be friends with you today? And at that point we separated us to he forgot about his friends and I forgot about mine.

17:24 That's hardly a very very was very difficult. So then we have to begin first the two of us and not knowing how it does is very difficult. I mean, we wouldn't have friends. So you came to new country. You didn't know a language you got married very quickly and then you didn't have a friend group and that's how you guys started out.

17:48 That's the that's the way it is. It is it is very difficult to them when I when when all this was happening. That's when I say I say the same to you if I I want to have a baby I want to have a baby because I want to have something that I can can do can't hold on can something that means something to me and then but your father was very smart and he told me no Patty. No because this is not the time you have to make sure what is it that you want. I know that you are a little bit confused. OK and a child is snow going to be

18:33 What you need and I feel like all my floor so they don't want to live no to not too far from there. I feel really alone some because of all that that was happening and I wanted to go home. I wanted to leave and that's when I say to you father. You know what I love you, but but this is not what I want and he says to me I know it.

19:05 I know it and I dated I married you knowing that you were too young and I feel like I'm sorry, but

19:16 If I can go back home, I want to go I want to go is say OK Google. So when he says that I pack my luggage I say I'm I'm I'm going to leave it and then say let's let's go out to dinner for the last time and you can go in everything is done and we went out to dinner and I saved your number so you don't have to worry about me. You can leave you live if you can find somebody else and now you got to please because I'm suffocating save note. I know I will leave my life. And so will you but I will take care of you and I say no you don't have to please don't don't say that say money anything that you need school. I if you want to go to school in Columbia I pay for it. I do anything nice about you don't owe me anything and you say it's not because I owe you.

20:16 It's something that I want to do.

20:19 And I say like, oh my gosh, and I told these eyes and I say

20:26 How can I how can I leave?

20:30 Such a beautiful soul.

20:33 How can I how can I do this?

20:36 In my love became very confusing at that point.

20:41 Because I want to go but I want to stay because I saw him and I say I think I just have come and I say I don't want to wait and see what is it. No, I want to go. I want to go to the apartment want to go I want to go in so you say okay. Let's go here pay and we went home when we went to the apartment. I I have my luggage ready. Okay. I know you open and I start throwing my clothes Say by Patti I say this is what I want you to do.

21:24 Just had me.

21:30 Understand

21:33 I don't know why my age I really like you.

21:39 But this is something.

21:43 I said are you sure please help me?

21:49 Let me stay and let's grow together.

21:53 He say, okay. I'll do it tell from that kind of thing. We started alives.

22:03 Different and

22:06 And then does some mean I used to I used to track my time. I mean, that's how bad you are. Okay. So then then when I when I had when I wanted to have a lien Vivian

22:24 He he say okay with ready and that was the most beautiful thing to have my my my first child.

22:35 I didn't even know anything, but but that was

22:42 It was part of him part of me my most beautiful child.

22:49 That's really beautiful. Mom. I didn't know all that.

22:54 It's really quite special.

23:04 And you probably know this story about how sick I was. Yeah, but you can tell me again. I was having a lot of headaches and not when I went to have to the doctor and they kept me at the hospital and Fabian was born the following day. And after that day, I asked me if I had a headache and I say no so I was so happy, but this lasted for like maybe half an hour and then repay was horrendous.

23:41 And then

23:46 Maya

23:48 My child was

23:51 Rush into another hospital

23:55 And very soon I had I went to to ICU.

24:07 And I why was Fabian sent to another hospital? And why were you such as I see you because I needed to go to Children Hospital because he was born with with me being sick. So they didn't know if you needed to need a transfusion so they have to do it over there.

24:27 And me because I didn't know what was going on. So.

24:37 My head is was so bad that I I I just don't remember two years to months. I mean two weeks of my life because I was going okay and then when I woke up,

24:55 Maya

24:59 Make a bike a little bit my youngest brother, but that was over here that you went to the hospital and told me I need to go home. But I was I was unconscious in society. I could not hear anything to say honey. I'm going home, but I'll be back. My mom needs me. Okay, but I'll be back. Okay and in he left and then it was so difficult in there because it was my mother getting.

25:32 Sick because my brother was not there maybe and see because I was really sick and then not being able to talk about what was going on with me because they they didn't want my mother to get worried. So I went to another hospital. I woke up in that hospital and I didn't know what I was.

25:55 And so they told me.

25:58 We transferred you to women in Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and they decide to take care of me over there.

26:10 So are you?

26:12 I got I got bitter a lot better. And your father was Northeastern University at that point. Where do what do they say? Your diagnosis was meningitis?

26:26 Okay, but but he was a very very bad case really really bad case. And when I was I was there I was feeling oh my God, whatever whatever and I say to her to the doctor once I want to go home and he said you cannot and I said why not say because I feel I feel okay. Why don't you say because you're not, okay.

26:54 You here under our supervision supervision and in a day that the medication everything that we do it, but you're not. Okay when I say so he say if you want to go. Do you have to sign a paper saying that you left I can but like their advice but you know how you stay and within a day or two after Dodge if I was to study in there. I didn't think they came in with a play for me and I went to it and I didn't have horse in my hand and I go like what and I took a look at your father and I got like I took I put my hand on on my right side of my face and I felt and numb and I say all so I said I'm going to get up and see when I went to get up. I almost fell down because I didn't have forced in my leg. So they know where to tell Roomba to start talking to me.

27:54 And I was sent to him he was looking like strange like this something going on and I feel like what and when I hurt myself I say what I'm talkin.

28:09 It's know what is coming out of my what I'm thinking. It's know what is coming out. It's totally different and I say oh my God, so he said that he called the doctor. Did you know one DD's when they die and they say is happening and I say it's happening. So they put an injection to myself in the following morning. I woke up and I had a stroke.

28:35 Chalk.

28:38 I have to begin my life again you learning how to walk.

28:45 How to talk and not taking care of the baby because I couldn't

28:51 And and I stayed there for two months.

28:56 How is your how was your mind where you did you feel like you were in there and like it was hard to communicate or he was had to communicate? Okay, so I couldn't I couldn't really I couldn't really say what was going on in myself. And I knew that I had a child but I wasn't wanting to pee also with a child because I was too confused. It was too too many things all at once. Everybody was beautiful Bridge was going through he was going to to school he was going to see if Ariana. The hospital was coming to me. He was heaving the bottles to Fabian he was so it was very difficult for him also, because when something bad happened to you

29:54 And you know

30:00 It's no choose a person needs help.

30:06 Screw yourself.

30:11 When do you want them? Both Juju? Just you are so so anyway way home and I

30:23 You got my life with the baby and my sister too much Sylvia took care of him until he was a month old.

30:31 And I

30:33 And not the one that you told me because your father used to bring us to her apartment and then pick us up from her apartment because you argue to give the baby a bath and everything and I was just playing with the baby and and my sister told me was Patty tomorrow. I don't want you to come and he said no because I want you to take care of the baby now now I know you can do it. I know that you can do it and I say I can't you say it. Yes, you can I go to your house, but you can so that's the way that I learned began to learn to take care of him when he was a month old and how old were you when this all happened?

31:16 I was 20 years old.

31:19 I can't even imagine.

31:22 20 years old and I can't imagine going through that now and I'm yeah, you know, I mean I obviously have known the story like I know that happened to you, but I don't think I've ever gotten a first-hand account from you about that experience and I can very much put itself. Yeah. Yeah. I say hi ya.

31:50 Sorry, no. Okay. I did want to hear you talk about a little bit though about how that experience in your life has driven you professionally today and on your mission today and all the wonderful things you're doing now, and I want to hear you talk about it. So.

32:12 So tell me so I guess talk about what do you do for a living? What is your title? Okay. I'm in a double chocolate ate a piece. Okay, and I work with a chiropractor. I have work with the chiropractor for the last 15 years. I'd recently moved from from the chiropractor days to work with which

32:39 I I love very much he was no.

32:46 My boss, he was my friend and but I do have to move from there.

32:55 And I are you doing that. He not know I'm I'm working with another chiropractor that is is very very nice to and I'm having a

33:09 It a nice relationship with him, but when I

33:16 Let me go back a little bit. Maybe in Ennis in the end. What I do for a living when I was at home once I say I have to do something for myself. What it what am I going to do for my life? I have my kids and my kids didn't and I take them hoes. Right? Right, and then I take it to tennis and I take them everywhere because before you were running a daycare to pick up, yes, that's what you did when I was born because I thought I was going to bring you to it. So they care but I couldn't I do if I say, please don't and I say, how can we do this? And I say, okay, let me take care of some babies over here. So I take care of my baby. Okay, and then later on or what I say is it if you came.

34:16 Like like I want to do something for myself and my oldest son told me why don't you do this about help, you know, the people in his baby and idea. That's what's Vivian say they are because to begin with that was Fabian was going to be looking forward to do himself and I saw him and I say, what are you doing? So he told me about the school and everything I said that is wonderful and I left and I said about he wanted to go to school for 4 to do another was quite a piece. I went back to him and I say, honey.

35:00 Will you take me to that is school is it for girls and guys in so I went I went there and I learned.

35:12 Then I will try to take a piece in when in my graduation people that says he patted you want to be good to go to be so wonderful that these oh my God you hair and I go like really how how can they say that? I mean, I did send this to that they say what you have in your hands is unbelievable. It's something that not everybody has and I go like, okay. I didn't I did not deserve that. So I began to work with with different people and I loved it. I love to see how how did I help them with headaches with working with our problems Childers and I say, oh my God, this is wonderful.

36:03 But

36:05 They don't want.

36:08 Your husband Ryan

36:13 Had

36:15 The accident that he had

36:18 And I say oh my God. What am I going to do? I need to help him. He had a spinal cord injury.

36:33 And I say I felt so helpless because I wanted to help you, but I didn't know how.

36:41 And the light came to my

36:45 Braid, it was like Patty.

36:49 This is who you are.

36:51 If you have had some other people, why can't you help him and I say yes. Yes, so I began to help him and I we got to develop something.

37:02 Something so great that at this point in my life. Okay. I am going to be teaching.

37:10 What do you think? I'm going to be teaching so narrow Muscular Therapy that is done to help people with a spinal cord injury in a lot of other disabilities and that I have learned through the process of the last four and a half years. Okay play Modest four and a half years of massaging Ryan and helping him with his muscle muscle atrophy and blood pressure and everything else that comes with spinal cord injury what every week for the last for over four years and we're so grateful mom and I am I joke a lot with I say why

38:00 You're my guinea pig. Do you know that he's safe, but but I learned a lot because through the the process that I do what they say they did.

38:18 Therapist the therapist to him

38:23 I write things when something happened, OK and there's a lot of things with his body responded to and I have a journey about that and you helped me a lot. That's awesome. Well, just want to thank you so much for sharing your story. There's so many other things that I wish we could have gotten around to talking about. I think we might have to come back, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm really proud of you and all that you're doing and we're so grateful.

39:01 And you're crushing it like you're literally starting a new career at like 62 years old. That's crazy and you're doing so well, and I just want you to know I'm so proud of you for everything. I'm so lucky. You're my mom and I love you.

39:17 Thank you for coming today. Thank you, sweetheart. I love you, too.

39:24 Umberto is my dad.

39:30 Fabian my older brother Fabian Perdomo

39:34 Gibson my husband

39:48 Oh my God.