Sarah Justus and Rosa Benedicto

[00:01] SARAH JUSTUS: My name is Sarah. I am 24 years old. Today is January 6, 2023. We are in El Paso, Texas. My grandma's name is Rosa and she is who I will be interviewing today.

[00:16] ROSA BENEDICTO: My name is Rosa. I'm 77 years old. Today's date is January 6, 2023. And we are in El Paso, Texas.

[00:31] SARAH JUSTUS: So, grandma, I know that you have been dreading this interview, even though you say you haven't been. I think you have been. But I wanted to bring you here today so that you could tell your story of coming here to the United States so that our family for generations to come can hear it, because that's what I want my kids to hear. And I think that that's what my siblings would want their kids to hear too. Does that sound okay with you?

[01:08] ROSA BENEDICTO: That sounds okay with me.

[01:10] SARAH JUSTUS: Well, so first I want to start with what year did you come to the United States?

[01:15] ROSA BENEDICTO: It was 1967. I was living across the border in Ciudad Juarez. And I had a friend, a very dear friend of mine who was living in Chicago. And I asked her if I could go with her and she sent me an invitation. This was March of 1967. And so she sent me an invitation and the money to go travel by train. I used to come, and there used to be a train that used to travel from El Paso to Chicago. And when I got to Chicago, there had been one of the biggest snowstorms in history. And the snow was piled high. When I got there, it was quite a surprise for me.

[02:16] SARAH JUSTUS: Was that your first time ever seeing snow?

[02:18] ROSA BENEDICTO: Uh huh. It was the first time that I was ever that cold.

[02:24] SARAH JUSTUS: Did you have a coat?

[02:26] ROSA BENEDICTO: I had a coat. That was very inappropriate. I had very pointy shoes with heels. They were very inappropriate for the snow. But luckily I was able to find work almost across the street from where my friend had her apartment. So I didn't have far to walk. And because it was already march, the weather started to warm up, so I really had no need for a coat. I did buy better shoes and so, yes, that's how I got there.

[03:07] SARAH JUSTUS: So you came in March and you had left my mom in Juarez?

[03:15] ROSA BENEDICTO: I had left your mama with my aunt.

[03:18] SARAH JUSTUS: And how old was my mom at that time?

[03:20] ROSA BENEDICTO: Your mother was three years old.

[03:22] SARAH JUSTUS: And how old were you?

[03:23] ROSA BENEDICTO: I was 22.

[03:25] SARAH JUSTUS: A baby?

[03:26] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes.

[03:28] SARAH JUSTUS: What did you fear the most coming here?

[03:37] ROSA BENEDICTO: I don't recall being afraid, per se. I was concerned about not speaking the language. I had no knowledge of English at all. But I was concerned about having left your mother. But I expected to bring her with me very soon.

[04:10] SARAH JUSTUS: So then how much longer was my mom in Juarez?

[04:16] ROSA BENEDICTO: She and my two sisters were in Juarez from. Without me, from March to September when I came back and I got them.

[04:29] SARAH JUSTUS: And then at that point, you took Emma and mom to Chicago and Edoma stayed in Juarez.

[04:37] ROSA BENEDICTO: We went, the three of us went to Chicago.

[04:40] SARAH JUSTUS: By train again?

[04:41] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes, by train. It was 42 hours.

[04:45] SARAH JUSTUS: Oh, my God. What? You spent 42 hours on a train?

[04:49] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes.

[04:50] SARAH JUSTUS: With Emma and a baby?

[04:51] ROSA BENEDICTO: Uh huh.

[04:52] SARAH JUSTUS: Oh, God. Was my mom a good baby? Did she a good toddler?

[04:56] ROSA BENEDICTO: She was always good. She'd never complained. She was very, very good at. And she entertained herself.

[05:04] SARAH JUSTUS: Do you think it was because she.

[05:05] ROSA BENEDICTO: Was scared of you talking to people? Cause most people that were on the train did not speak Spanish, but a few did. Yeah.

[05:15] SARAH JUSTUS: So then how long did it take for you to learn English? And do you think it was a conscious effort for you to learn English, or do you think you learned it?

[05:29] ROSA BENEDICTO: It was an absolute necessity because I couldn't communicate and I couldn't understand television or the radio or anything. So I started going to the public library. It was in the neighborhood, and they had classes for immigrants there for English. I met a greek girl and a man from Lithuania, and so I started picking up some English.

[06:02] SARAH JUSTUS: But you spoke Spanish at home still, huh?

[06:04] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes, because my friend and her family spoke Spanish only at home. So it was always Spanish.

[06:11] SARAH JUSTUS: So then how long did you live, you and my mom? And was it pucha that you lived with?

[06:20] ROSA BENEDICTO: Eventually, yes.

[06:22] SARAH JUSTUS: So how long was it?

[06:23] ROSA BENEDICTO: Five years.

[06:24] SARAH JUSTUS: You and my mom. Oh, and Emma?

[06:25] ROSA BENEDICTO: Five years. Yes. I arrived there in 67, and then in, by 72, I was able to. I had a good job. I had learned a skill, and I had gone to school consistently at night to learn English. It was pretty fluent.

[06:50] SARAH JUSTUS: But at that point, had you been working towards a degree?

[06:54] ROSA BENEDICTO: No, no, I was just taking classes where people would go. Mostly immigrants, never formal English, but I would read the newspaper every day even though I couldn't understand it, and then listen to the television and the radio in English.

[07:13] SARAH JUSTUS: What tv shows did you watch? What tv shows did you watch?

[07:18] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, it was mostly mexican shows.

[07:21] SARAH JUSTUS: That's not a good way to learn English.

[07:23] ROSA BENEDICTO: There was a comedian named Red Skelton who had a skit. He had an hour program. I had a skit where he didn't talk. He just, he was like a mime, perfect for you. And I could understand him. And then I used to watch the fugitive, which was made into a movie later on. But at the time, it was like a weekly program. I would just watch the fugitive Red Skelton and probably some others. I don't remember.

[07:57] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. Was my mom in school?

[08:01] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes. Your mother started school because she was born in August. She was able to start school kindergarten, and, like, when she was five.

[08:11] SARAH JUSTUS: So was it different? Like, you didn't need papers for her to be in school?

[08:17] ROSA BENEDICTO: They never asked for papers. Yeah, they never did. So I was able to register her. Never asked a question about her status or immigration status.

[08:30] SARAH JUSTUS: Interesting.

[08:31] ROSA BENEDICTO: I never had to face that.

[08:33] SARAH JUSTUS: Were you scared that you would?

[08:35] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes, all the time.

[08:38] SARAH JUSTUS: So when do you think that that fear went away? Not until you married grandpa, right?

[08:43] ROSA BENEDICTO: Once I got my green card and your mother's green card, I registered in school immediately to take my GED because I didn't have a GED. I didn't have a. I never even.

[08:58] SARAH JUSTUS: Thought about the fact that you had to get your GED.

[09:03] ROSA BENEDICTO: I went to class. I went to classes, and then I took my GED at the school where your mother graduated from the high school. Lane Tech.

[09:13] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[09:13] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes.

[09:14] SARAH JUSTUS: How old were you when you got your GED?

[09:17] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think I was 27, but 28.

[09:20] SARAH JUSTUS: That was before you had Erica.

[09:22] ROSA BENEDICTO: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the time I had Erica I had already gotten my AA degree in accounting.

[09:30] SARAH JUSTUS: Oh, that's what your degree was then.

[09:32] ROSA BENEDICTO: Uh huh.

[09:33] SARAH JUSTUS: No, I didn't know that. Oops.

[09:37] ROSA BENEDICTO: You learn.

[09:38] SARAH JUSTUS: Should have done my research.

[09:41] ROSA BENEDICTO: No, the point of this interview is for you to learn.

[09:46] SARAH JUSTUS: Well, I think I know everything about you. I know I don't.

[09:50] ROSA BENEDICTO: Did you know that I was a stripper?

[09:52] SARAH JUSTUS: No, you were not. You wish. You wish you could shake your butt like that?

[09:58] ROSA BENEDICTO: No, grandma never did.

[10:00] SARAH JUSTUS: Never wish that. Maybe grandpa did.

[10:05] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah, sure. I'm sure he probably did.

[10:09] SARAH JUSTUS: Okay, so you met grandpa in 19?

[10:13] ROSA BENEDICTO: I met him in 1972. In September of 1972, yeah, 14 September.

[10:21] SARAH JUSTUS: Oh. And then you guys got married on the 16th, right? Quick turnaround. Yes. And it's not because he fell madly in love with you.

[10:31] ROSA BENEDICTO: But he eventually did.

[10:32] SARAH JUSTUS: But he eventually did. I would love to get that story on tape, if that's okay with you.

[10:41] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, it's so commonly known nowadays, so I did not have a residency, and the laws were changing and becoming harder to do. And the way, the quickest way for me to get it was by marrying an american citizen. And your grandpa was asked if he knew anybody that would marry me so that I could. I could get my residency. He volunteered.

[11:25] SARAH JUSTUS: But did he volunteer only after he saw you, grandma.

[11:28] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, he hadn't seen me yet.

[11:30] SARAH JUSTUS: I don't know.

[11:31] ROSA BENEDICTO: I don't know. I was 27. At the time.

[11:38] SARAH JUSTUS: And Grandpa was 29.

[11:40] ROSA BENEDICTO: He had just come back from Vietnam. Well, no, actually, he had come back from Vietnam, like, a few months before because he was already working as a teacher in the Chicago public school. So then we married, and it was more like a business deal. Like he would do me the favor of helping me get my papers.

[12:10] SARAH JUSTUS: Do you think that that was in character for the kind of person Grandpa was?

[12:16] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think so. I think basically, he was very. A very kind and giving person, but he had probably ulterior motives that I had no idea about. All I cared was that he was willing and he was someone that we know whose family we. At least one relative. But then I had to get an apartment with both of our names and.

[12:47] SARAH JUSTUS: For like, to show, to make sure.

[12:50] ROSA BENEDICTO: That if there was an investigation, they would, you know.

[12:54] SARAH JUSTUS: Did you know anybody who had been investigated?

[12:58] ROSA BENEDICTO: No. It was like. It was unusual for someone to do what I did. And so we got an apartment in both of our names, and then that was the beginning of the month of October. We had married, like, two weeks before, and then we would go for about a week, ten days to the apartment every day, to paint and to clean. And after work we would go. And then we moved. He moved some of his furniture into the apartment and some of his clothes. And I had a few things that my friend had given me. And then he said to me that he had fallen in love with me and that if I was willing, we would have a marriage. Not a fake marriage, but a marriage.

[14:03] SARAH JUSTUS: And what was your reaction?

[14:06] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, I was fascinated by the stories that he had told me. He had been in Peace Corps. He was an athlete in high school and college, so he had such interesting life. And then he showed me slides of his experience in Vietnam, in Costa Rica, and I was just this uneducated, humble person from Mexico that was, like, blown away by his. And he was very kind and very polite, and he never pushed himself on me or anything. He never made any crass remarks or anything. He's very respectful, and I had nothing to lose. I was not afraid. I went in blindly. And he could have been a very different person from what he turned out to be. But he was also taking a chance with me because he had no idea what kind of person. Person I was.

[15:17] SARAH JUSTUS: Do you think he was surprised?

[15:21] ROSA BENEDICTO: And so, yeah, we decided to give it a go.

[15:27] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, try.

[15:28] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[15:28] SARAH JUSTUS: And how long were you guys married for?

[15:30] ROSA BENEDICTO: 43 years.

[15:32] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. And he died in 2017. No, 15, 2015.

[15:38] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[15:40] SARAH JUSTUS: I think that that is one of the biggest blessings. I think that you and I had a conversation earlier this week about friendship and community and what your community can do for you. And I think that grandpa was such. I don't know, like a product of the community you had around you and the fact that he came into your life. So it was, like, serendipitous. And that you guys were able to have this life together.

[16:20] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think for many years before he got sick, we were. We had a very good marriage. We were friends, in addition to being husband and wife, but, yeah. And people would look at us as an example of having a good marriage and being productive in the community and being. We had a very active community life in Chicago.

[16:55] SARAH JUSTUS: So how do you think your life changed after you married grandpa?

[17:01] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, he gave me the foundation to develop myself as a person. He also helped me with your mom. He adopted my daughter, your mama, and then my sister came to us, and he had no objection. He was always very open to doing whatever needed to get done.

[17:29] SARAH JUSTUS: That's true.

[17:31] ROSA BENEDICTO: You know, he didn't, like, think about it, or he did it.

[17:35] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. That didn't change once he got sick, either, because everything I asked Grandpa to do for me, he would do.

[17:43] ROSA BENEDICTO: He had a very hard time saying no to anything or anybody. And so he helped me. All the years that we were married, he helped me grow in many ways. I think because of his example, I became a better person. And I educated. I got an education, which he always supported me. And then professionally, when I started developing my own professional aims, he was there for me 100%. So I have to say that our lives and you probably would not be here if things had been different.

[18:33] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. I do wonder what life would be like. I don't know. I would like to think that I would always exist, grandma.

[18:42] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, you would have been a product. I mean, your mother was already born. But I don't think that we would have been in El Paso. I think that I have no idea what kind of route or what kind of path I would have taken without him, because marriage was never something that I contemplated having. I never dreamed of getting married. I didn't want to give your mother a stepfather.

[19:17] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[19:19] ROSA BENEDICTO: So whenever. Whenever I had to, I had a date or something, I would always. I would never involve your mother, because I never thought that anybody that I knew.

[19:34] SARAH JUSTUS: It was weird enough to imagine you going out on a date. I don't like it.

[19:41] ROSA BENEDICTO: It didn't happen. And it never went beyond a dinner or holding hands. I was never like. I always thought about not exposing her to someone. And I don't think that if it hadn't been for the fact that I got married to your grandpa the way I did.

[20:00] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[20:01] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think I'd still be alone.

[20:03] SARAH JUSTUS: I think you would be, too.

[20:04] ROSA BENEDICTO: With, you know, just your mother.

[20:06] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. And it would be such a different life. Yeah, that would be interesting. So what do you think that the biggest lesson you learned through your journey up to meeting Grandpa was?

[20:29] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think that the biggest lesson that I'm still learning after meeting your grandfather was that. And it isn't really a lesson. It's more like a realization that we're born for a reason, and I was born to take care of people.

[20:56] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, you were.

[20:58] ROSA BENEDICTO: And I didn't like it. I didn't want it, but when I had to. Well, I've always done it, you know, like, 13 years old when I started doing it.

[21:14] SARAH JUSTUS: But I mean, even before that. Because you had to take care of your mom when she was sick, right. I remember you told a story when I was a little, which I could like. I used to laugh about it, and now I'm so horrified by it. The story where your mom said her soul was coming out of her feet and she made you brush her feet. And that story when you first told it to me, I must have been, like, ten. I was so little, and I thought it was funny. And now I'm like, oh, my God, if I was 13 and doing that, I would be sobbing every day.

[21:51] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. But I think that the biggest lesson that I have learned, and I'm still trying to come to grips with it, and, you know, that, is that I definitely had a mission in life that was put on my shoulders to take care of people.

[22:18] SARAH JUSTUS: Because you started with taking care of your mom, and then your mom died when you were 13, and then at that point, you started taking care of Emma and Eva, my sisters. And then when you.

[22:32] ROSA BENEDICTO: First my sisters and then my sisters and your mom.

[22:35] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, and then you had my mom when you were 19. And even though you didn't live full time with Emma and Irma, you still felt a responsibility for them. Obviously, you're their older sister. And then you were 19 when you gave birth to my mom. And that's like, the ultimate caretaking role, taking care of a child, and you were still taking care of Emma. I mean, Emma is your lifelong responsibility, even beyond being a mom. And then you move to Chicago, and you. I mean, I would say you had, like, a good few peaceful years where it was just my mom and Emma.

[23:16] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[23:17] SARAH JUSTUS: Do you think that your next caretaking role was really when grandpa got sick?

[23:23] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. Well, before that, his parents.

[23:26] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[23:27] ROSA BENEDICTO: Do you think parents.

[23:28] SARAH JUSTUS: Well, the other day I asked you if you felt like you were a caretaker then, and you kind of said, no, not really.

[23:33] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, but I did. I. You know, they were living under. In the same building where we were.

[23:39] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[23:39] ROSA BENEDICTO: You know, it wasn't like 24/7 like it became with him, but it was, you know, the groceries, the.

[23:50] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, just like general.

[23:51] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah, general things. But no, no, not. And he did it more than me.

[23:57] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, I was gonna say grandpa probably did it more. Yeah, he. When do you. What year do you think you started really being a caretaker for grandpa?

[24:12] ROSA BENEDICTO: Let's see. 19. 2000.

[24:15] SARAH JUSTUS: The year 2000. Was that before we moved here?

[24:19] ROSA BENEDICTO: No, when he. In 2000, he was already sick. He had been sick for a few years. And you were born in 98. And I remember going to see you and your mother before you guys came to El Paso again. And I was already very perturbed by the fact that he was changing so.

[24:45] SARAH JUSTUS: Rapidly because his personality had really changed.

[24:47] ROSA BENEDICTO: Right. And I remember sitting with your mother in the living room, in the dining room in your house, and I met the pig and met the peg, and I was crying, and you were little, you were three, and said, why are you crying, grandma? Because I was telling you, mother, how your father was changed, your grandfather was changing, and that was because of his illness was already taking. So when you guys came in 2001, he was already very sick, and he had no medical diagnosis yet, but then two years after that, at his insistence, I stopped working. And then. Cause he was afraid to be alone.

[25:34] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. And that was before he had been diagnosed, right?

[25:37] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, no, he was diagnosed in 2003.

[25:40] SARAH JUSTUS: Okay. So. Right when he was diagnosed, I stopped working.

[25:43] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[25:44] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. And then that's when you really took on.

[25:48] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[25:49] SARAH JUSTUS: I mean, there were, like. I remember it. Grandpa still drove for a few years after that. Like, quite a long time after that, actually.

[25:57] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[25:57] SARAH JUSTUS: And he was still kind of with it. For someone who had Alzheimer's, he was still kind of with it for a long time.

[26:06] ROSA BENEDICTO: That was the onset. Well, the onset usually lasts, like, five or six years, where they can be perfectly functional, but a little bit paranoid, which he became.

[26:18] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, he was super paranoid.

[26:19] ROSA BENEDICTO: And the more time went by, I mean, we looked for all kinds of remedies. He got everything. I mean, I took him to Albuquerque for seven years to do medical trials to see if there was something that could help him. And I think that at the end, it helps him because he would take some of the medications that were not approved, but had some kind of therapeutical value. To them? Yeah. So what?

[26:54] SARAH JUSTUS: You might not like this question. What lessons did you learn from taking care of grandpa that you used when you took care of my mom? Or do you think that they were two totally different scenarios?

[27:10] ROSA BENEDICTO: They were different in the sense that he required around the clock attention. He demanded attention. And I was many times very resentful of the fact that I couldn't even go, like, I don't know if you remember, you were all in the kitchen, and I was getting ready to go to 1 hour meeting at my old job, and he heard about it, and he left the house because I was going to be gone for 1 hour.

[27:49] SARAH JUSTUS: I mean, I remember how disturbed he would get if you weren't there.

[27:53] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah.

[27:54] SARAH JUSTUS: Agitated.

[27:56] ROSA BENEDICTO: And, you know, that was a very troubling because he looked perfectly normal and we had to call the police. It was like, police don't understand a person with dementia. And lucky for me, there was a person from the Alzheimer's association who I had called to help me find them. And so the lessons that I learned was not to get him riled up. And that wasn't easy for me because I have a hot temper. So it was when I started. When I really started to try to temper my temperament.

[28:49] SARAH JUSTUS: Do you think that you. That that was a lesson in compassion?

[28:54] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes, definitely. Because I. Prior to that, I never thought that I would be able to care for someone like that. And then I found myself doing it, and I was okay. It was okay. There were many things that I learned that I was capable of doing, which, prior to that, I never thought that I would. That I would be. So when your mama got sick, it was just like, second nature to me to tend to her needs.

[29:32] SARAH JUSTUS: I was so grateful to have you around. Cause I was like, I cannot.

[29:36] ROSA BENEDICTO: Right. Well, that was my attitude all my life. Even though I had taken care of my sister, we've never, like, tended to her personal needs.

[29:44] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. No, only after Emma got brain surgery, I think, is when she required, like, a lot of care. And that was temporary.

[29:51] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. But even then, I discovered that I could do it.

[29:57] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. That's so interesting to hear you say, because when my mom was. When my mom was on hospice, I. It's interesting to hear you say that you had to do things that you never thought that you could do. And I don't know if I never thought that I could do them, but I never imagined myself in that scenario. And so now when I think about it, I'm like, oh, I could do.

[30:21] ROSA BENEDICTO: Anything because you did it.

[30:24] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[30:24] ROSA BENEDICTO: You see? And I remember asking a close friend of mine who became a nurse, how she would tend to, like, she was telling me about a man who had been impacted and could not defecate, and she put up some gloves on and help them. How could you do that? How could you even. I couldn't imagine myself doing that. And then I found myself doing that.

[30:50] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, that's exactly how I feel.

[30:54] ROSA BENEDICTO: You do it. You do it, and nothing happens to you. Nothing. And then you realize that fear that you had, because it's all fear, just goes away.

[31:06] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[31:07] ROSA BENEDICTO: So, yeah, it was. And I think that because of your mother's illness and your grandfather's, it's helped me become a better person.

[31:21] SARAH JUSTUS: Well, I thought you were a fantastic person already.

[31:24] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. But accept the fact that the lessons were hard, but now I can face anything.

[31:34] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[31:35] ROSA BENEDICTO: Really, I can.

[31:36] SARAH JUSTUS: I think that you can, too.

[31:38] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. And, you know, and be okay about it, you know, and that's the thing, that I wasn't okay about it. I had to force myself to do it.

[31:48] SARAH JUSTUS: You mean when grandpa was sick, you weren't okay?

[31:52] ROSA BENEDICTO: No, I was resentful.

[31:53] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[31:54] ROSA BENEDICTO: You know, not for, like, not to the point where I would note, do what I needed to do, but in the back of my mind, I was saying, you know, like, I'm missing out on what I had done so much already. You know, I have gone so many places. I've had, like, such a good life that he allowed me to have and that we had together. Yeah, it was like 25 years that were bliss. And then I. Of course, I resent losing that, but in the end, I think that all those lessons helped me be at peace, you know, have the peace that I now have, the contentment. I'm happy, you know, that's just a fact.

[32:50] SARAH JUSTUS: That's good to hear. I think that my siblings and I, we. We turned to my mom a lot because she was the strongest person. But now I think that you are a very good substitute, at least for me and Alyssa and Andrea, too, I'm sure. I don't think.

[33:13] ROSA BENEDICTO: I think the difference between, you know, my relationship with both of you. Andrea is. Andrea has already become a woman like your mother and myself, you know?

[33:28] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[33:29] ROSA BENEDICTO: She's old enough to have acquired that strength, if you will. And you guys, too. I mean, you're amazing. You just, like, you blow my mind and Aliza beyond words. But, yeah, it's a family thing. I think it carries.

[33:51] SARAH JUSTUS: I know what a blessing it is to be surrounded by strong women.

[33:54] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. And it's through learning, because you learned with your grandpa, you were there for him. You were the apple of his eyes. Just love you to pieces. And Alyssa learned to. To be, like, so strong, and she's so much like a mom in terms of how she treats her kids.

[34:20] SARAH JUSTUS: I know. She's the perfect mom.

[34:22] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. And so, you know, that comes from watching and learning from who you have around. And who did you have around for? Your mom and us.

[34:34] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[34:36] ROSA BENEDICTO: So, yeah.

[34:38] SARAH JUSTUS: How do you feel now when you hang out with us as adults, with your grandchildren?

[34:46] ROSA BENEDICTO: I feel that you are totally capable of living life and making decisions.

[34:56] SARAH JUSTUS: All of us?

[34:57] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. All four of you. I think with Patrick is different because he's. He's a boy, and his needs may be very different from the three of you, but I think that you do not need me, or you may need your mother in instances, but I think that all three of you are perfectly capable of having. Making the right decisions, having the life that you choose to have, and knowing when you're going in the wrong path, or knowing that when you have to compromise, it's okay, because it's for the greater good and for, you know, like, you don't always win. But I'm very. I'm very okay with all three of you. Andrea, you and Alyssa, the way you lead your lives. I have nothing to say. Oh, I wish I could. I were there for Sara. I know you have hard times. I know Alyssa does, and I know Andrea does. But I think that all three of you will have a good life and have a good life. The life that the three of you choose to have without me. Like, come there if you need me, and you know that.

[36:31] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah, I think the difference is we don't need you, grandma. We want you.

[36:34] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah, but you don't really need me. You know, that's the beauty of it, that, you know, I'm there if you need me, but you really don't.

[36:45] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah. That's the beauty of having an amazing family. Well, thank you for letting me speak to you today, grandma.

[36:52] ROSA BENEDICTO: Well, you have to thank me. I'm your grandma. I'm your grandma, and it's my pleasure. And I'm very proud of you. And, you know, you and I have a particular closeness that I don't have with the other two, but because of all the time that you were around prior to you becoming a New Englander. Yes, but I'm there. I know I'm there, and I'm happy to be there, which is different.

[37:27] SARAH JUSTUS: It makes it all the better.

[37:29] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yes. I'm happy to be there. I'm happy that you were here. For a couple of weeks and that I got to know you and that will be in this phase of your life. Yeah. Because we change every day.

[37:45] SARAH JUSTUS: Yeah.

[37:46] ROSA BENEDICTO: Yeah. And so, yeah. Thank you for wanting to do that. This. You know, I'm not one to do this, but I did it because I love you and because it's important to you.

[38:00] SARAH JUSTUS: I know. Thank you.