Sarah Shields and Christopher Shields

00:05 My name is Christopher Shields. I am 36 years old. Today's date is Monday January 13th, 2020. We are in Santa Monica, California and I am interviewing my wife Sarah Shields.

00:20 My name is Sarah Shields. I am 32 years old. Today is Monday January 13th 2020. I'm in Santa Monica, California and I am interviewing my husband Chris Shields.

00:38 Okay.

00:40 Are the things about me that you've always wanted to know but have never asked.

00:46 Oh my gosh, I feel like I've asked you so many questions over the years.

00:57 I guess I'd like to know.

01:00 If there's any particular moment in your life that you feel like defined you in terms of making you totally changed the way that you've thought.

01:11 Like

01:15 Okay.

01:21 Omitted find me.

01:23 You know like it's scared you or

01:29 Yeah, I'm just totally up ended things.

01:38 No.

01:41 No, not really.

01:44 Most of my defining moments happened over a long. Of time. I never I didn't have any like

01:50 Single instance that you know that I redeem change that there was some sort of like sort of shift and was always like

01:59 I kind of woke up six months later and went oh, wow. Yeah that's happened as a disclaimer. We've been together for 14 years and I'm a big talker. So I think I've pulled everything from you. Okay, my turn I have a question on what is your favorite memory of me?

02:24 My favorite memory of you is when you and I were first dating in Clearwater, and we were in junior college together and we were driving down Belcher if you recall and we were in my car and you had your feet up on my dashboard.

02:43 And

02:44 That was the first time I'd ever been with somebody. Who is that at home around me and even though I was being kind of conservative and not really showing at that's the way I felt around you and so that kind of it was the first time I noticed that and the first time I like felt that you felt the same way my favorite I would say

03:06 Was that a defining moment for another reason to?

03:11 I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess you could call it a defining moment. Yeah. Sure. You told me a while ago that in the car is also when you realized you loved me. Yes. That is also true. Is that that same moment whenever you told me that story? I thought you meant like we're driving back and forth between Gainesville and Clearwater. Oh, no, this was this was going away from the campus just to go home school driven.

03:43 Going back and forth to school now.

03:55 How has your life been different than what you'd imagined?

04:02 Well as we all know I totally thought I was going to have everything together by the time I was 30. So the fact that we're here at 32 and I'm still Meandering through that's together mean together. Well, I guess I thought that I would be established in a career that

04:26 I didn't expect to be a Rockefeller or anything, but I thought that I email would be like making my own money as opposed to this artist life that I'm doing right now cycling off your teeth Bohemian. So we're looking for

04:46 So I think I I thought that you know, I think that when you're young you kind of think like 30 seems like the age when people are secure in themselves, and I feel like nowadays. It's taking people a little bit longer at least my generation to find your way and 2

05:10 Feel like you got it together are quotes included. So that's what I meant.

05:17 However, I am very happy to have been lucky enough to have had a partner for the past 14 years. He's been so supportive of me and pretty much Rockstar. So and are you okay?

05:34 How has your life been different than what you'd imagined?

05:42 I had very

05:46 Naive I think ideas about.

05:49 What I would be doing and the importance of it and that's the Alexander the Great running over the now.

06:01 I would say that.

06:03 It was

06:06 You know.

06:08 I guess I would say I expected more Adventure or something like that and

06:14 You know, I'm I expected to be in a world traveler and all types of things like that just more excitement and that each day would matter more and I'm not even sure what exactly I had in mind like in terms of that excitement, but I just for some reason that's what I thought would happen and that's not at all what happened. I'm in my life is fine. But, you know, I'm in terms of my career, you know today.

06:48 You do not saving lives or anything like that. And so I guess that's what I would say.

07:01 Yeah, I don't know how to though is the truth. I thought about that a lot.

07:07 You know, I

07:11 Yeah, I actually spent she's aware of this I spent.

07:17 Probably

07:19 3 years maybe four years kind of wrestling with my given career choice and you know where I was at and I

07:31 Eventually to be honest kind of gave up because what I was doing you no money and put food on the table and all that and I do enjoy it. It's not that I don't it's just that it wasn't just like I said the kind of excitement. I was hoping for but finding that thing that really had that that I could also do it was going to realistic and some way I could never find that thing.

07:55 What would be more exciting though?

08:05 Honestly, I

08:08 I don't really know. I mean, I I like to think that

08:15 And I'm doing something that sort of resulted in like

08:21 I don't even know how to describe it doing something that resulted in like protecting people in some way. I think that would be exciting. But I don't know what that really means. I'm not talking about being a bodyguard or something, but you know what? I mean, like there's something more it's taken and I don't even know what that really looks like what that means cuz I would never want to work for the government and that's that's also not what I mean, but but

08:46 Which is something along those lines were something that they really matters and is there something to each moment because you know, like people's well-being sort of hangs in the balance that feels important to me. So again having said that I don't know what I would do in that area and there be no space that I could you know qualify for insofar as well. I think while being is kind of tight end education considering you wanted to possibly teach and share your experiences. I think that would be a cool.

09:26 Question sheet is up.

09:37 What does your future hold?

09:41 My future holds Opera my future holds more Outreach into the community.

09:52 What does that mean?

09:54 I'm really excited about the show that I'm writing to bring Opera to new audiences and to audiences who might otherwise not have been exposed to it with writing my two shows right now.

10:10 I think my future holds a more.

10:16 Self-determined person as in I'm not going to be

10:23 Living according to other people's terms because I've done that and that hasn't really helped me along very well. So I think my future holds my future does definitely hold that and my future holds you just expectations of family, you know, in terms of what they think I should have done to make money or what success was defined as you know, I think actually has everything done a lot of work on that. I

11:09 I think I'm the only one who can really define success which is probably super obvious to everybody else, but took me 32 years to get there. So yeah.

11:21 They are the same thing. I mean, you know a lot of what I did with even my own thing which is not superglamourous. But a lot of it had to do with pleasing my parents.

11:31 Yeah, so it's you know, you're not alone on there.

11:36 Yeah.

11:39 Okay.

11:45 Is there anything that you've never told me but wants to tell me now.

11:52 No.

11:53 Cool air, isn't it? Actually nothing that I have wanted to tell you that I have not already.

12:00 Got another question. Can you tell me about one of your most difficult memories?

12:08 I'm okay.

12:13 Trying to think of what will be in one of my most difficult memories.

12:29 I mean the sort of didn't really

12:35 Is this is a friend that this occurred to but basically an example of a difficult memory was when I found out.

12:45 A friend of mine someone that I really loved and cared about a great deal.

12:53 Who had been sort of a you can think of her as like an aunt to me?

12:58 When I found out she had died.

13:03 And her husband who was a let's just say rather unpleasant individual was alive and well, I'm not sure why it took me so long so long to kind of realize it but that was the first time in my life that I really truly understood that that fairness has nothing to do with life at all. And and it was a little crushing a very crushing actually because I I like I said, she was someone that had been very kind to me, you know, and

13:34 And so for someone that good and that helpful and that kind to be dead while her husband on as she died of cancer while her husband who who was exactly the opposite breezed alive and breathing. That was just such a great Injustice 2 me not that he deserve to die. But just that you know, if you if you want to say if God chose her vs. Him that kind of idea it just seems so unfair and and it just did really drove that home to me that life is just not fair. And and so there was a I would say that was a very difficult.

14:17 Experience when I found that out.

14:21 Has that changed how you live your life a little bit. I would say it's made me slightly more cynical or at least maybe sitting cynical is not the right word. But just like I said that I don't

14:36 And I want good things for people and I want people to succeed but I don't expect life to be fair. And so I

14:44 I guess I from that I expect a certain harshness from living, you know, which we sort of all have to just kind of bear together and that's kind of the best we can do. I guess it's her the way I look at it.

15:14 What does your future hold?

15:19 It's going to take a good one.

15:23 I don't know I would say.

15:30 Probably a lot of different things.

15:35 Well

15:39 Obviously

15:45 You know it.

15:50 Work will be work. So whatever that is right thing different. I'm sure new things there.

15:57 You know you and I will keep doing our thing.

16:04 You know my my family I expect to

16:10 Continue to sort of go the way they're going, you know, my parents have been kind of having as you know medical issues lately. So I'm sure that that will unfortunately the only speed up and I'll slow down.

16:24 And other than that

16:33 I don't expect anything else really. Is there anything you want for your future to hold?

16:40 I'm sure I mean without really you don't Welling on it. I guess I would just say what I said before which is

16:50 You know something maybe a little bit more interesting and I'm really referring to my career cuz I kind of essentially Define Myself by that kind of. So

17:02 I don't really know what that means. But you know, that's what I would like it to hold.

17:08 No there extra activities.

17:11 Possibly the teaching thing is you said I was I was thinking of more basic stuff. But yeah, definitely, you know.

17:29 Traveling hopefully sailing.

17:33 You're going to do the sailing soon. I mean, you know, nothing crazy, but just know what that means I would be you know should have relearning how to do it so we can go out on your own boat or a new boat schools where I'm in like a 4 foot boat like tips over in the marina that type of thing cuz it's been years. But yeah, I would like to get back into that.

18:05 All right. All right. So cool.

18:13 Find yourself.

18:17 Yes, I definitely to find myself by my career.

18:21 I would say that it's interesting actually because we have his dad staying with us right now, and I was speaking with your dad today about the whole idea of a calling and how for most of my life I

18:42 I felt called to seeing it's where I was feeling was happy and not really seeing like the manifestation of what the ideal seen would be on that but

18:54 I I thought they just came because I was talking to him and he much like you was kind of talking about the fact that and I wanted this is also late just so you know, cuz your menfolk but talk about the whole idea if you have putting food on the table and providing for the family and you know, Bubba blah, but he opened up about something that has kind of let his passion kind of like you with your how you love to teach and I feel like though, you know, if you're lucky I feel to have your calling be your actual job. So I feel very optimistic about my singing and also this new the new project. I'm working on in terms of being able to bring Opera to

19:37 I like the new audiences because I came to Opera later in life. I was pursuing a whole different track science-driven track and it wasn't until I was 28 that I actually started taking lessons and you know falling in love with music and so I had to teach myself everything, you know, thank you Wikipedia and

20:03 And yes, so anyways, so now when they meet new people who are like, oh Opera. Oh, that's a different language and especially in America I think offer is you know, it seems like it's the super esoteric art form as opposed to what I I view it as I'm really passionate about sharing it and so I do feel defined by that in terms of like that drives me and it's somewhat, you know, the clear the vision comes becoming more of like an anchoring point that I will probably use to like make other big decisions in my life. So I would say yes, I do feel like I'm defining myself more and more by my job.

20:46 So then if you could do anything now, what would that be and why I would actually keep saying exactly I'm doing I would write my continue to keep riding my show I do wish I had more like comedy background or a new people who are like comedy writers because I feel a bit lacking, you know, like in terms of I just really wanted to like you now be very interactive and happy will be really on fire for it. But I think maybe as I Workshop a little time to take off, so what I want to keep doing right now, is it going to rain but then also finding out how I can wear how and where I can sell my shell and kind of keep going into Terra incognita there and

21:36 Stop being scared to do all of these things. I've never done it all before cuz I would never have considered myself a writer even last like month. So now listen here I am and doing these things. So yeah, I would keep jamming right now.

22:00 Aussie

22:05 How did you know that I was the one?

22:23 I think I knew that because you and I

22:29 We were dating in again in Clearwater. I think the time and

22:37 You know, we would have sort of our ups and downs like anyone would have but

22:45 I just remember any time we would spend time together or you know, I would come back to where you were, you know at your house or whatever it always felt.

22:56 I know it sounds kind of cheesy but it's true. It always felt sort of like coming home because it was always like a like a relaxing feeling or a calming feeling being around you. You know what I mean until you always heard of made things. Feel more.

23:10 Bearable

23:13 And and that even Beyond Just Like Loving You which of course I did.

23:22 That was like a I don't have the words to describe. It really was like a like a durable feeling where I was sort of I felt like I could do experience things kind of go through things with you and and things would come out okay on the other side and you know, that's sort of

23:37 That's the way it felt.

23:40 This is why I say you are the best thing.

23:46 Do you still feel that way?

23:50 I do. You know, like I said, it's not

23:56 Not always perfect ups and downs.

24:03 Gone

24:04 Plumbing that's at dancer. See you still feel like I'm the one

24:10 Yes.

24:22 How would you like to be remembered?

24:29 And by who and what scale?

24:39 I'm not her since her that I want to be.

24:43 Like I just I just I don't know how much I care. I mean I guess I would say that if I was going to be remembered how about that? I was going to be remembered I would be I would want to be remembered as someone who who

24:57 Helped, you know, someone who helps make other people's lives better. I don't know how but that's how I want to be remembered I guess.

25:12 How did you know that Christmas?

25:16 How did I know that Chris was the one?

25:22 Well, we had actually broken up for a while and we were apart because we've been together for so long and I was on my own and I was dating other people and you know making my way through and anyway, I there were a lot of really nice people and such but kind of like the idea of what he was time in terms of that person who makes you feel like home and it's interesting because you think about the lady of like the family you choose versus the family you have and I love my family to death doing wrong, but Chris and so many ways.

26:12 Has been the one person who has made me feel like like even inside your soul if you can just email kick your feet up while I was saying that example because I have had a lot of you know, weird inclinations. I want to do this and then and then my sense of humor candy kind of like funny and then I can do stupid stuff and make huge mistakes, but he has through it all even when unfortunately I've hurt him. He has always seen like like the real me underneath that and so

26:53 Like when we were apart, I started realizing that that feeling of home doesn't come about just like every day and so I called the Mob Wives like hey to coffee or something like that. Yeah, stupid and casual casual and and he was like and then like we got together. I promise you it's like a girlfriend is like four months was like okay when I move on

27:25 Cuz like I said, I've been just like a series of like first days and I was the one who was all like I need space to figure out my life cuz we've been together for so long in college and Bubba blah. I was asleep being silly. And anyway as luck would have it we were able to be friends and then we eventually started dating again and I was lucky enough that

27:47 He felt the same way about me. And yeah, that's I had to I had to go off and find my way back.

27:54 So I knew he was the one.

27:59 What lessons have you learned from our relationship?

28:07 I always say if you want I would say to.

28:16 Really?

28:24 I guess it's cuz I'm super cheesy, but I guess to treat your relationship more with kid gloves and to be more protective of the person that you have like even your conversations with them cuz I stink when you get to be with someone for so long like it's like that, you know anecdote or whatever that you know, my friend told me that one time about how like you leave your baggage where you think it's safe in terms of how we typically will treat those.

28:59 That we love the most unfortunately the worst, you know, they're the ones who see like, you know that part of you that you don't show the outside world. And and so I would say that being now where we are in our relationship I would I wish I could go back to a few instances. Nothing you can go back in time, but like be more protective of. Bond and not feel the need to test it, you know in terms of leaking at wall Mommy if I mess this up like, you know, what's up you okay? What's up you? Okay and

29:37 Yeah, it just really really like treasure, you know, the things that you have like in the moment they have them.

29:52 When was the last time you cried and why?

30:09 I was watching this Matthew McConaughey commercial and it was his beautiful.

30:22 And Fortune, I feel like I might know the answer to this one. Well, maybe maybe you do maybe you don't remember actually right now.

30:34 I don't remember the last time I cried. I don't think

30:52 Yeah pass. What are you proudest of in your life?

31:20 Probably you.

31:23 Really why I'm scoring some brownie points here. I know but not

31:31 No, I think the reason is because

31:36 General like I talk about my job a lot and all that in the end, you know, and I know I said it started to finds me but which which it does a lot but at the same time.

31:49 I guess the reason I said that is because

32:00 I don't know why I guess I've known lots of people who.

32:05 Had

32:07 In a really great Partners in terms of like temperament, you don't even like matching temperament. Like I've known I've had friends had really great partners and I've known friends who had people that were just there not compatible at all really, but they just sort of made it work and kind of everything in between and and you and I that way we just match so well that I just I really count myself lucky and so that's why I say that is because you and I sort of just mesh like that.

32:37 So you're proud of finding somebody mess with?

32:40 I mean, it's a really like succinct way of putting it.

32:45 I'm in no, I guess I'm I'm I'm proud of having a person like you is what I meant.

32:54 You're funny and you're you know witty and you're silly and you're you know at times frustrating and sometimes you know or not. Sometimes you frequently, you know, very affectionate and also other times very headstrong and other times.

33:16 You know, you want to just sort of hang out and watch YouTube together another time you want to do, you know, go to places like that.

33:26 You know or bullet journaling or six, you know pounds of yarn that you're going to take up knitting suddenly and in I mean Salt Lake air goes to Goodwell, correct and like everything you can imagine it between in so I guess that's why it's like that that type of thing. It's Cena makes you

33:49 You know who you are. I would like to say thank you very much for all that. But I would like to say the things that I admire the most about you and why I am very proud of being with you and have you been with you is that you're such a hard worker. You're so loyal you're brilliant and I really admire your ability to like problem-solving my troubleshoot things and like always stay. So cool and calm and logical Under Pressure. Like I view you is like my total Confidant and sounding word for things and feel like you keep me grounded when I can be all those things like very flighty and I'm fly in a bag with a k a i think it's like, you know, like salt and pepper in a little bit so changing quickly. Yeah, I like that. So I'm glad we did this about that you're willing to let me drag you the story Corps.

34:46 Thank you, honey.