Stan Dale and Tonya Bowman
- Stan Dale
- Tonya Bowman
- anecdotes (humorous but true stories)
- Human Awarness institute “Hai” www.hai.org
- Love in general
- Love, Intimacy, Sexuality
- magical beliefs and practices
- memories of growing up
- personal experiences
- political beliefs and practices
- radio personality
- Radio Work “Voice of Lone Ranger” and The Shadow Knows
- religious beliefs and practices
- school day memories
- scientific beliefs and practices
- social beliefs and practices
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00:02 This is Tonya Bowman. Tonya Bowman. I am 37 years old. Today is November 25th 2006 and I am here in Foster City, California at the home of Stan Dale and I am interviewing.
00:19 Stan Dale
00:21 I am now 77.
00:24 Today's date is November 25th 2006.
00:29 Foster City, California, I'm so excited to be today.
00:38 So tell me about a little bit about your childhood and what it was like growing up because I was just typically fat little guy and you know, I was from Russian parents and my mother spoke for English and I was the fat kid that nobody wanted to play with and so I was the outcast in a way my neighborhood. I ran away a couple of times and it was found and brought back because of course I was scared but my childhood in school was
01:27 What are the worst memories I had was I was severely good student. But like my math teacher one time as we're going to the decimal system. I didn't know what the decimals were and so I came in and she asked me a question and I gave the wrong answer and she hollered in front of the whole class. She had a chain and hit the desk with the cane and said what's the matter with you? Are you stupid and something in me cracks? It was like I knew I was worthless until my Early Childhood was something of a worthless fat little kid who thought about suicide a lot.
02:12 Fortunately, I didn't do it and my mother was a tyrant. She would a x hit me with my father's belt if I did anything wrong and I was candy haluk ever since I was a little kid because my father owned a candy store and he had this candy store that but I grew a little older on Saturdays that would go in there and work in the candy store and he finally said to me one day he said Stan I'll pay you to stay home you're eating up all the profits but my mother's hitting beating me was I knew I was not her child that there must have been a mistake because my mother would never treat me the way this woman was treating me.
03:04 I found out when I got my shoulder and got into psychology that when she was 8 years old. She was giving concerts on the stage. She was a child prodigy violin in Odessa Russia and one night her stepfather. He was the stereotypical stepfather drunk raging took advantage of her and did all sorts of things. He came home drunk one night and smashed her violin and that was worse than rape because from that moment on she said something cracked in her and she hated all men and she wound up with a husband and two sons, but I seem to get the brunt of it for some reason. I'll do if she screamed at by a father and hit him back and did all sorts of things. But you know when I look back on it now after hearing her story
04:03 I was able to forgive than to love this eight year old girl who is so horribly violated and out of that. It's growing my empathy and for all Humanity. I think that might going through that has given me the compassion to be the man that I am today. I'm a man that now without ego involved can actually say I love the man that I am I love who I am. I love what I do. I love the opportunity of being like with you right now the hope that whatever people hear that they will be able to make their life a little better and more wholesome.
04:52 I think you're amazing. So stand can you tell me a little bit about how you got started in radio and I hate to ask this but I would love to hear you do your Shadow. I got into radio by accident in our high school. They were given we were given the opportunity of choosing a radio note choosing. Excuse me an English course, so there was journalism English why they want to go into journalism. It was business English. I didn't want to go into business and then there was radio English and all radio English was basically was to improve your speaking and but they like the way I spoke and I was sent to the Board of Education radio station WNYC wnye in Brooklyn New York, I would so I would travel from Manhattan to Brooklyn once a week and I was able to do
05:52 Radio programs on this radio station in New York and you know, it was like that but it was stationed in Brooklyn New York. So that's the kind of a joke because Brooklyn the people in Brooklyn General have this accent that's immediately identifiable compared to the rest of the people in New York. So making a long story short. I got into radio through the Board of Education radio station in New York. And then of course, I kept more and more I was sent to various radio stations and I wound up at WXYZ in Detroit Michigan, which is where the Lone Ranger originated Sergeant Preston was another program had enough, you know that but I'm The Lone Ranger French boy, who was the announcer of I mean, he was the announcer for the Lone Ranger. He decided that he wanted to go to Hollywood and
06:52 Get into television and into the movies. So now he left the Lone Ranger and they were looking for substitute. So I wound up being the man who went a fiery horse with the speed of Life a cloud of dust and a hearty hi-yo silver The Lone Ranger rides again, and then desert a little fluke was they also had an opening for the shadow who apparently the man who is doing the shadow took ill or something. So for two weeks and I say I don't care how long I was the Shadow 2 weeks is fine. I was a man who did who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men the shadow knows how gross it was an echo microphone and it was a very unique thing. I noticed that my voice is a little thin and raspy Today part of that is from the fact that I'm currently
07:52 On dialysis and it dries me out so much that I'm surprised I'm even able to talk this much. So why you go and think of the next question, I'm going to take a sip of water. That sounds just fine. So I know that you spent some time during the war and I wanted to find out a little bit about your experience there and your experience indicates delighted a very unique thing in my life is made up of unique things. My first wife Betty became a born-again Christian and I say that with kind of a side because I love true Born Again Christians, but she was the kind of person who used violence in the name of God and Christ. And so I said,
08:48 There's no way in the world that I would be able to follow that kind of the belief and at that time we had two daughters and she demanded that they become Born Again Christians, and I said no way in the world that it is that possible until they can make the choice. So when they get old enough if they choose to be that that's fine for this particular plane. No, that's not. Okay. So she said to me and true Christian love if you won't accept Christ as your personal savior, then no one will be able to have you and other words. No other religion know any anyting because I'm going to get you drafted.
09:34 There was a little paragraph in the draft law that said if you leave your domicile in any for any reason whatsoever, you lose your deferment and I was deferred from the draft because I had two daughters. Well guess what happened? I got drafted and after a long story a long amount of time actually was over eight months. I was sent to Korea. I was sent to Japan and I'm trying to think of the year it was.
10:06 Oh my mind Escape me at right now to escapes me right now, but way back and just after the actually it's a good reference. It was the year that the Korean war came to a halt and so here I was I was in Japan and in Korea and the commander who was General. Well, there was General Major General lemnitzer. He was actually a four-star general. I'm a little confused because of all that time that's gone by but he was amazing. He called me to his office and he said I want you to do a radio program for me and it was like one of these incredible things just prior to the meeting with this General. I was sent to Japan and there was a party being given at this Geisha House and because I was with R4
11:06 Radio and television I was invited to the party but it was one of these parties that was a typical Hollywood type party. Everybody. Was she missing and hitting each other on the back and everything. So I left the party walked around the facility of this gorgeous Geisha House and it was 22 acres by the way. So I was just walking around in this elderly Japanese man came up to me and started speaking Japanese and I said, I don't speak Japanese and you just signaled to the signal to me to wait. He got an interpreter. And as I say I fell in love with my former enemy because we sat and talked for three hours about everything about life about death about children about sex about everything and I had never ever talked about those things with anyone prior to this time.
12:04 And I also looked at my watch and I had to get back to my base. And I said thank you very much. I really appreciate this and he said I would like for you to come to my house and I liked it and said I would love to come live in your house. This would be absolutely phenomenal, but I don't think I'll have the opportunity and you look me in the eyes and he said you will find a way.
12:32 And I went oh my goodness, you know, okay. I know he's a very sweet man, but I bowed to him left and that's when General lemnitzer. The next week called me into his office and said they'll I want you to do a radio program for me. You can use my plane. You can travel the entire command, but I want you to interview the men and women of my command and talk to them about the Army and about their experiences and the program was called salute to you and I went. Oh my God, I looked at the general and I said sir. I saluted him. They didn't have to do it that feeling I said, you know, sir. I would really love to do this program. But you know, I can't live on base and do the program.
13:22 He looked at me and he said Dale you can live anywhere you want to will you do the program for me in this big voice that made mine sound like a soprano and it was just incredible. I said thank you sir. Indeed this will get him again and ran out of the office ran back to the Geisha has got there as quickly as I could saw that the owner and I said did you really mean I could live here? And he said yes, so for seven months, I an American private live-in this Geisha House, which was one of the most gorgeous places. I'd ever seen in my entire life and
14:11 I was trained by the geishas. Actually the major Geisha is like a queen of the round. She doesn't do anything, but they have what they call a dimi geisha and the exact word fails me what the Japanese word for be but this woman took me under her wing and train me in the way of the Geisha and what is the weight of the Geisha to see everything in Beauty to be able to take their patrons and to encase them in this magnificence of beauty tenderness spirituality Joy sensuality. It was like whoa, when I saw this taking place, I just my Joe is open for 7 months, you know, I dropped all the ways in such really
15:05 My Geisha gave me a stone one day and that changed my life. It was just a little Stone a granite type Stone and I looked at it and looked at it and she would say everyday stand. What do you see? I had them from New York. And I said Stone Chief stopped would say very good Stan. It is the stone come back tomorrow and tell me what you see this one on for over a week, maybe 10 days or so and then all of a sudden one day is out of looking at the stone.
15:43 I saw well look at this there little specks of gold there all sorts of marvelous little striations and I just fell in love with the stem. And so the next time she asked me what do you see I said this sounds ridiculous, but I see the beauty of the universe in this town.
16:07 It was in this large room. They're getting set up for an event everyone in the room. Stop doing what they were doing the Geisha Rose and bound to me and said if you can see the beauty of the universe and its Stone now you are a geisha.
16:28 And so every day since then day after day after day I look for the beauty in everything and it's amazing. I'm brought to tears what beauty there is even and things we don't think of beautiful.
16:47 In every human being especially all I can see is there Beauty and who's to say that you're supposed to look a certain way who gave us that rule that is supposed to be X feet tall and whatever and you supposed to weigh at some of the pounds or whatever who said so-and-so what appears in me now is b a s u r in the perfect body no matter what you look like, even if for some incidents your body happens to be deformed know it's not deformed. It's meant to be
17:27 Like right now, my body is an amazing body for someone who's preaching their 78th birthday because what I know is that in my life the way I look has taught me so much that the workshops that we put on the seminars that there are I don't see anything but Beauty to somebody who's maybe 300 lbs or more or someone who's very thin and thinks that they are not. Okay and the breasts are never okay and with men their penis size is never okay and on and on and on it goes and I say who said so
18:11 So basically, that's my mantra for everyone who said so and why do you believe them? Why do you believe that you're supposed to look different than you do?
18:23 You know that that's nothing but a ploy to sell Cosmetics to make money on you so that if people think you don't look okay, you'll change to be what they think is. Okay. And one of the things that I do is I ask people to look in the mirror and really keep looking and it's one of the most difficult exercises in our workshops people looking. I mean, they put the mirror down on the floor many of them will stop and say I will not do this and I say until you can fall in love with that person in the mirror, then you truly will never find true love.
19:06 And if you want to have relationship with somebody else and you don't love yourself, you're getting them damaged merchandise. You actually want them to love something. You never will love and that's you. So people are going to wind up going my God, you know, I'm unlovable. No no, no, no.
19:27 Fall in love with the person in the mirror and I guarantee you you will find nothing but love the rest of your life.
19:41 You're so amazing. You have me here in tears.
19:48 So you learned all of this all of these from the all of this philosophy and how you feel and see the world from the Geisha House you think of my life when I actually saw the beauty of the universe and then for the Geisha to pronounce me a geisha and that no one has ever ever ever. First of all, no one lives in the Geisha House. Not even the geishas live in the Geisha House the Demi geishas, of course, that's where they stay but no one lives there because it's a place where people come to to experience the event of the Geisha and unfortunately, the American soldiers made the Geisha sound like prostitutes. They never were they were the furthest thing in the world from that because they would never have what we Americans are Western is call sex. No that is totally impossible. And so that whole dynamic then I
20:48 Separated from the Army went back to Chicago where I was staying the all-night record, man. I was on the air from Midnight to 5. And so here I am now playing record Encino my old rock and roll records and talking as I did as a disc jockey, but periodically I would talk about my experiences in Japan experience of what I learned in the Geisha House, whenever and off the air while the records were playing I would talk to people from all parts of the country and from Mexico and from Alaska and Canada because it was a Clear Channel station, and it was so interesting because the switchboards started lighting up like crazy as I would talk about these things because people wanted to talk and they also wanted information. So all of a sudden the phones were ringing like crazy and they actually we were getting a hundred thousand phone calls.
21:48 A night because it was knocking switch for its at all over Chicago. And so I pushed I didn't had her anywhere near a portion of that. But the management finally was you call by the phone company saying what are you guys doing there? What's going on? You're not getting out of switchboards, you know, and so finally management said, okay. Okay, you don't have to play records. You can talk to these people but keep it short, you know, make it very very short. Well, it was midnight to 5, so I cheated a lot and I just talked with people talked with what I had learned about Humanity what I learned about the beauty of the universe and the phone's continues to increase more and more and more and finally that's where the workshop started people said. We want more and I said, what do you mean you want more? I'm giving you everything I know.
22:45 But I decided you know, let's maybe see what happens. I rented the we had this what is it say, it was a large Amphitheater 1500 people and it's so that it was a masonic temple and 1,500 people showed up to the first and they are loving that's why they call it the loving and we talked it was like the Donahue show or any of those shows people would raise their hand ask questions and I did the best I could and then they said we want more so I said, okay, let's see what would more be so I went to various hotels and Rental ballrooms and sure enough. They got filled and we started talking more and more and more about the things that people really wanted to hear and they really wanted to talk to you learn about relationships.
23:45 How do we learn about what a man and a woman should do or whether your same-gender or Watts who said so, you know how successful we appearance in fortunately there have been many that are successful but the vast majority were little boys and girls who had intercourse one day and a baby was born. They don't know how to raise the child. They know the first things to do. They don't know what real sexuality might be because what most people do is have intercourse. I've got nothing against intercoursd if that's what you do comes out of that relationship or that particular event, but I love acronyms like human awareness Institute. The acronym is h a i, which means yes in Japanese. It means life in Hebrew and it means the ocean in Chinese Shanghai means the city by the sea.
24:45 So we going I said people. Yes, you know that. This is the way how I started to evolve and more and more and more. We went through various places to do the workshops. And now the workshops are all over the world there in Australia Germany the UK and with various parts of the United States and we're really fortunate because many many thousands of people have come to do. Well I call it what they've come to is to get rid of the garbage one of the things I like calling myself as a garbage man. I'm the guy who loves to take the garbage out. I was just you if you ask me I will do it if you don't ask me but I'll be delighted to assist you and taking the garbage out and the garbage is all the junk that people at tile to find you where their team from institutions where there came from unknowing parents or friends or whatever once you take the garbage.
25:45 ReachOut it now your magnificence as the true human being that you are comes to play. So for me the acronym 6ix sacred energy exchange spiritual energy exchange synchronistic energy exchange. I want my darling. Have left to say is stands energy exchange. So it brings a whole new understanding of what sex maybe like we may be having sex right now. Is that look in your eyes and Diving really deeply telling you because your eyes just a wide open. So I'm as deep in you deeper than any part of my physical body ever could be
26:32 And that's the way that I wish for people to really truly see the beauty of the universe in everything they do and everything. They are.
26:45 You are truly amazing.
26:48 So I have a few more questions for you as we go on and the next one is what are you proudest of in your life?
26:59 I think exactly what I've said the fact that I've been able as this human being to just I don't know how it happens. I have I don't even want to explain it because what I found is we are so anxious to explain explain explain, you know, that's why this happened and that's why that happened. No, no, no. No, I don't care how it happened. All I know is that I'm the privilege man that I am to be able to affect this many hundreds of thousands no minions because when I was on the radio in a people would say, well I wanted to get through and talk to you but there was no way I could because the phones are always busy. And so it was like a accident in whatever proportions when somebody gets through and they would actually talk with them and then as we kept evolving into the various places, I don't know how that happened. I just know that it was time to be
27:59 Australia it was time to be in Germany. It was time to have new facilitators because I couldn't handle all of that. And so we have these 10 facilitators right now who are some of the world's best as matter fact, I'm in awe of my own facilitators because when I have the opportunity of listening to them I go because they have more awareness than I ever have. So it's built on our efforts together to be able to get the best Workshop in the world so that people come to this workshop and I don't even talk about the experience because I want people who have experienced the workshop to speak about it because each person has their own experienced of something that's called human awareness Institute the workshops love in.
28:59 Sex and sexuality if we didn't have that ugly word sexuality in the title many more Millions would come to the workshops, but that word scares people absolutely scares people and they go crazy under the word sex. But where did that happen? Why is sex? Excuse me? Why is 6 treated the way street in the western culture it street is this way because of ignorance and fear and when people get the awareness that I don't have to be that way but sex doesn't have to be that way or sex isn't really what I learned it to be then people have an opportunity of being with each other in a loving beautiful way. Like I'm married. I have my lovely wife Janet and I'm sitting here, you know deep inside of you in my heart my soul and knowing that that
29:59 It doesn't interfere with my relationship with Janet it Embraces our relationship. It makes the relationship that I have with her more beautiful and more delicious because I can bring my experience of being with you or any other human being into the experience with Janet and it makes it so beautiful. So that's kind of what I'm proud of what I love the most is the fact that I'm privileged. I've been given this opportunity to do what I do and I love what people feedback to me. I get letters I get emails I get cards I get Aries and phone calls and people to say thank you Stan you save my life. You save my marriage you save my relationship.
30:50 What better thing could a human being ever asked for so that's my privilege?
30:59 You just keep blowing me away every time I mean.
31:02 So tell me what does love mean to you?
31:09 Love is energy. It's something very unique what I have discovered in these later years of my life and I thought oh, I knew it all you know, when I was younger. I got this experience in the Geisha House and all of that know, it's a continuing education and in these later years. I really have settled in to be able to see the sun is energy. We are from the Sun nobody that's it anymore. I mean, you know, we are products of the universe and we are particles of energy.
31:48 And so how do you feel when you're in love or when you're loved energize my God, there's anything you can't do when you're in love and what happens with so many people why do so many people they can't even get out of bed, you know in the morning because there have loved their out of energy and what I find is I have more energy now at this age that I ever had when I was 20 years old because when I was 20 years old those really 80, you know, because of that horrendous childhood that I had it was like, oh my God, I can hardly get out of bed and it was such a factors and radio that got me out of bed because I had this wonderful marvelous thing that I love doing and I was able to do it. But what I really realized is that
32:40 Love is Who We Are?
32:44 So many people say well that fell out of love with somebody you can't fall out of love. How do you fall out of love with something? That's like the sun?
32:54 You can shut down you can deny that you are love and love is not a feeling. It's not an emotion. It's who you are. So many people think that they feel loved know what you're feeling is really the effects of loving nuts.
33:14 But you know they going to make saying many commercials if you truly love her you will get her diamonds or chocolates or whatever know those could be the best tools in the world to manipulate you if I give you diamonds and I'll with one hand I give you the sign and I say I love you so much and with the other hand you better shape up and be the person that I want you to be or else I won't love you now and I know so many people unfortunately, you've gone through those types of experiences love is who I am.
33:52 The Sun Shines whether it's raining whether it's midnight the sun is always shining it never stops shining if you I mean you can't see it necessarily but the sun is shining and it never stops shining. So how can you as a human being stop shining and why are you telling you as beautiful as you are because you shine from the very first moment we met you shown. I mean you were just shining like the sun and you have not stopped shining now in your personal life you may have times when you're not shiny, but that's something I want you to remember the next time history remember who you are.
34:40 You are love love is not an emotion. You may feel fear. You might feel all the other Pains of the various so-called negative emotions emotions telling you something they're asking you to look at something and whatever it is that you're looking at whether it's anger fear, whatever look at it and see is that the way you want to be who have you given your energy to? What have you given your energy away to as opposed to? Yes every moment that I am alive every second that I'm awake. I am loved and I experienced not now. It sounds new AG it sounds to some people. Oh, give me a break you no. No, I don't I say, you know, I don't like what George Bush's doing currently.
35:40 But I will prevent as best I can anyone from putting him down because he's as human as I am and I asked everybody to Love George Bush cuz if you don't love George Bush guess what you going to get back you're going to get back the same thing that unfortunately is not being loved is giving to the rest of the world. So I keep on loving him don't like what he does love and like have nothing to do with each other those of us who her parents know that I don't have to like anything that my child does but I will not stop loving my child. There are people who indeed saying well, you know, I won't love my kid if he or she doesn't like the way I want them to that's not what that's manipulation.
36:34 So to love is to be and to be is to be loved.
36:42 Just that easy. It's not easy at all big difference between easy and simple simple is who is it is easy means you're practicing and how do you become proficient in anything you practice practice practice? And so why am I at this particular stage? I've been practicing for a long time. But I want to do is make that practice time shorter for the rest of the population that I'm fortunate enough to come in contact list.
37:19 Thank you. I'll do I have to say the really tall order to try and love George Bush. I'm sorry. That's a tall order for me. I'll try I'm not perfect you are perfect. You're thinking hasn't gotten there yet. But look our feelings come from our thoughts. Really when you stop to think about it. It's our thoughts that have to proceed almost every feeling that we have to be there maybe one or two here and there that come without our thinking about it first, but even being faced with that, I don't necessarily have to be afraid of that. There are many people have gone to their death with a smile on their face why because they died for something they believed in
38:08 Now I had that's not my choice right now. I don't want to die. But even if that had to be the case, then what would happen is that I would choose to be love rather than to be anything but love so that's all it just more experience and experience experience experience. Who do I love me again? How about George? I cannot tell a lie. I don't know George. I don't love him. I can't.
38:43 I can't I in this moment.
38:49 Right. Now you can make a choice. You can make the choice right this very second to Love George Bush and not like he can even tell hey George, I don't like what you doing, but why not love him. How different is he from you?
39:04 He's no different than you or me. He's again, little George.
39:11 Little George needs your love.
39:16 Remember and all of the people in Congress need your love and you don't have to like anything that they're doing but I choose to wake up in the morning and love not like necessarily anything any of them redoing, but if they were my children, I would love them and you know something they are my children. They are my brothers. They are my sisters. I do indeed choose to love. So how about yours?
39:50 How about George something to George?
39:56 George honey George Bush sir. I really really dislike what you do, but I can find it in my heart to love you particularly. If I picture you was a little boy who needs love. You're just a little boy in there inside that man who needs love. I can love that. I can love that person and you don't have to amplify on the wise. I mean, we did it just now for clarification, but just very simply each person is that little child each person, you know has that child within and very simply all we need to do is just love.
40:38 So simple just love the Simplicity of it. Can't you imagine waking up and knowing you are loved that's your assignment everyone who's listening to this your assignment for when you wake up is to know you are loved whether you believe it or not. And the only reason you wouldn't believe it is because of the garbage. So if you wanted to say they're fine, you know, I can't force you to change but why not start with okay. I've got this assignment and this free tells me all I have to do is be love see what happens it takes about a month. They're actually physically have tried because the neurons the neuronal pathways it takes about a month of repetition repetition repetition for the neurons to finally hook up and they hook up something like a telephone cable.
41:36 That find me when you've got it and you become more proficient not so proficient that you could give a concert know but you become proficient and in that proficiency, you just repeat repeat repeat and your wake up. Like wow, the sunshine becomes board bridge and even on rainy days. You can see the Sun and when you can see the Sun and be the sun, there you are.
42:05 And your love that's it. So tell me about
42:12 Something that you would like the world to know about you. Is there something in particular that you'd like the world to know? I don't see myself as a special special because what I am is the man I've just been talking about I'm a man has been given a gift. I never charged for the workshops for many many years because it was my privilege to give people a gift and then of course when prices started escalating and they were charging for various locations. Now, I wear the before we were able to read at church room or something like that. That would hold a couple of hundred people for virtually nothing. It's started going into the many hundreds and thousands of dollars and that was fine, you know, like I had some money for my radio days and whatever but then eventually I had less and less money and with the Communist failure
43:12 And all of that whatever money we invested to be able to have some money to work off of that try that so we charge people on every Workshop. We do we barely break even
43:26 And I just want people to know that because I still get so many calls or inquiries, but you're charging so much for these workshops. You know, you must be cleaning up then why do you charge so much and the truth of the matter is we don't charge and not our accountants and people handle our taxes go up. You're going to go broke and well all these years. We've not gone broke, but it could possibly happen. The good news is it's not happening and I don't believe it will happen. So therefore in my belief system, I only see that there's gratitude and the Gratitude comes, you know him from being able to work with human beings and see their lives change. So they all recognize their magnificence.
44:18 Everybody I'm pretty much I have learned through you. I just want to tell you that you know through you and through the human awareness Institute. I have learned of my magnificence which is just has been an amazing powerful transformative tool transformative idea for me to know my magnificence is probably the most beautiful thing you ever get. So I'm delighted time you that you who picked knowledge us me but it's really you you've done the work, you know, all we did was hold that mirror. That was a tough one.
44:58 Okay, so, let's see.
45:06 When did you first fall in love?
45:09 That is a good question.
45:13 I think I fell in love with my first wife has no no way before that. I fell in love with a girl in high school, but one day I don't know what happened. This is part of my crazy childhood. She said that I took a nice ball and threw it at her and scarred her face and I looked at her and here I had this marvelous crush on this girl and it was like everything in the world my life. Just weren't you know, I was a teenager a young teenager is that and she comes to class one day saying Stan did this and the teacher, you know, when crazy I was on the AAA Patrol at the time and that's what it's going to be assisted the crossing guards and all of that and I was out in the assisting crossing guard ever the class had already begun and she had already
46:13 Told the teacher about this ice ball that I supposedly had thrown with her. I never even made and ice ball was tonight the kids to do that and I come into the class and everyone, you know went dead quiet and the teacher called me up to the front of the desk and took my AAA belt and that I had a desire and ripped it off of me and said you're no longer a crossing guard and you are punished for a month for having this room this imaginary ice ball. And I don't know what made this girl fall in love, you know in love with me supposedly and then do this. I have no idea. We had the typical little teenage Crush. That was the first time I found the second time I fell in love was with Betty my first wife she was a model. She was an absolute cutest a lingerie model and she was a friend of Ava Gardner.
47:13 Turn that portion of the world North Carolina. And so I was madly in love with her and I've already told you what happened. You know, we're married. We have two children and then she gets me drafted. So I guess My One True Love Now is Janet.
47:32 We've been married now 30 years and it gets better and better and better every single day. I'm privileged when I wake up in the morning to I usually get up first before she's as I kiss her feet. I kneel at the foot of the bed and take her feet and kiss her feet not because I have to it's not a ritual. It's amazing. It's like why would anybody get up any other way? Why wouldn't and if you don't have a partner kiss your own feet for having sex, but that's what I do and the love that I have. It just gets better and better and better we are so in love that wherever we go people say are you on your honeymoon? And of course the answer is yes because we run our daily honeymoon and it's not put on there's not one hour to put on and there's only truth in our relationship.
48:30 Because there's no way in the world that relationship can survive if you're lying to each other and we have so many lies of omission and commission. We're not even aware of how often people lie, you know and lying is a protective device. That's why people lie because they're afraid that they'll be hurt and what they don't realize is that they're hurting themselves so badly in every lie of omission and commission that they're ruining themselves as well as their relationships.
49:07 So for people to look and see if you truly love someone, why would you lie to them? And if you want to truly love someone stop talk to them and ask them what went on this particular Point. What are you saying? What does it mean? You don't just get a little deeper into you don't have to have a whole intersection about it, but clarify clarify clarify their many people to say don't go don't go to bed angry with each other. I definitely support that but even more so never go to bed without loving totally and without clearing clearing whatever is in the way of that love.
49:51 You're so wise. So if you could tell the young people of the world today one thing, what would you want to really impress upon? The are the Young Generation today to stop being copycats people are looking at other people. They look at TV. They look at the various things that are supposed to do the clothing. They're supposed to wear the hairdos. They're supposed to supposed to supposed to supposed to stop.
50:27 You're being sheep because you're following some Trend with her to Fashion Trend or with friends where or you won't be accepted unless you look like a certain way. All I can say is please stop bad because every time that you follow somebody else's way of doing something you're losing yourself. You're not being true to you and I watch with such pain as so many of these people that have to be tattooed. They have to have rings in their noses and lips and whatever. Well, I mean if that's what they want, that's fine again, you know, I'm not going to tell you you shouldn't do that. But why change the beautiful person that you are into something that somebody on TV or the movies or somebody you saw, you know, because oh man that's in there getting off.
51:27 Call the very best attention and they can fit into the so-called Club. Don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. And imagine if you have children, would you want them to be sheep? Would you want them to follow whatever the next phase is and whatever that next phase is. I don't see it as very loving and very warm and very nurturing I think the next phase because of all the violence that's being portrayed and dumped. Us whether it's the wars or whether it's the violence is going on in the neighborhoods or whatever will be more violent than loving and I'm just praying and hoping that that won't happen to my children. My grandchildren the joy is with my children. I've got six of the most fantastic children in the world.
52:24 They have gone through their periods of following and doing this and doing that and fortunately As We Grew Older together and wiser together. I was able to really talk with each of my children my two daughters. I think that's why Betty and I had to have our relationship that turned so sour because my two daughters Marcia and Muna we have a relationship is about as sweet as any relationship you're never fine and then my four sons that I had you know with Helen it just we have for phenomenal boys and they have their family with their grandchildren my grandchildren their children and you know, all of us are in love we hear it. We speak it. We see it. We Embrace each other for boys kiss each other like in a man ought to kiss each other.
53:24 I am beautiful loving tender ways and all of my grandchildren they when we get together, it's like love time. You know, there isn't anything I have to do all they do is come up and love me and I only show their love in so many ways.
53:44 K I want to come to your Thanksgiving dinner. So the last question is is there anything that you would like to tell me personally that you can think of that you would want to tell me Tanya?
53:59 Truthfully, my whole conversation has been to tell you Tanya and I'm delighted that you have this opportunity with me to listen to me to be here to embrace the things you have embraced because from the Tonya that I met to the Tanya now you shine brighter than most humans you shine right from your heart and I just wish that everyone would have this opportunity of shining the way you do because we both reflect off of each other we're shining from each other and through each other and then just imagine going to work that way. It's just imagine going to school where you're shining and everyone goes I want that shot in like that and why not so that's what I want everybody to know. Yes.
54:59 City, is that simple not necessarily easy, but come on you've mastered all sorts of things Staying Alive. They sell a lot of work and effort to stay alive. And guess what? You stayed alive to this point and why shouldn't you stay alive as long as it's in the cards for you to stay alive stay alive in Prosper keep prospering Prosper Prosper prosper, and I'm not talking about financially because they don't let the finances worry you yeah, sometimes things happen like it's happened with us. Oh guess what? I don't have this kind of financial aid do I but you know what, you're not going to get it if you're loaded with all the sphere and all the worries and all of the gloom-and-doom, you know that comes along with people worrying about their money. Just know you can handle it. You can change everything.
55:59 Into the best possible life
56:02 Thank you Stan. I just really want to thank you for our time here together today and I learned so much when I'm with you, even if I'm interviewing you for a radio program. So thank you so much for your wisdom in your light and your love today. Thank you each and everyone of you for listening and for having the wisdom to know that Tonya Bowman is a marvelous wonderful representation of humanity.
56:30 And so is Stan Dale and that's it.