Terez Limer and Kira Limer

Recorded November 26, 2010 Archived November 30, 2010 43:00 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: SCK002276

Description

KL interviews TL about her community & community service, her sense of home, and the love of nature, plants, and animals they both share as mother and daughter.

Participants

  • Terez Limer
  • Kira Limer

Venue / Recording Kit

Transcript

Kira Limer [00:00:01]
I am Kira Limer. I am 27 years old. Today is November 26, 2010, the National Day of Listening. And we are in Hanukkah in New York, at my parents house, and I am interviewing my mother, Terez.

Terez Limer [00:00:19]

I'm Terez Limer. I am 62 years old. This is a November 26th, 2010, the National Day of Listening. And we're doing this in our home and Hanukkah in New York. And the interviewer is my daughter.

Kira Limer [00:00:38]

So, Mom, first of all, I'd like to hear you describe yourself. I think this is a really good way to start the interview.

Terez Limer [00:00:48]

Wow. Well, I'm kind of a mishmash. I have like, talents that I've been trying to use throughout my life. Um, writing as a journalist, Singing as a jazz singer. Um. And I have a lot of concerns that I express through nonprofits that I either volunteer for or work for, such as the Green County Council on the Arts, where I now work. And I love the outdoors. It's part of my soul. And so are my children who are, like, so important to me. We waited. Longer than we wanted to, to have children. And so they're very special to us and to me.

Kira Limer [00:01:44]

Oh, that's really nice. I think one of the things that I've gotten from you is the love of the outdoors. Also, I would say it's part of my soul, too, if I could express it in those words. But you said you have a lot of concerns. What do you mean by that?

Terez Limer [00:02:07]

Actually concerns might not have been the right word. I just feel a responsibility to to be a part of a community, even if I'm not living in a community. Right now, we don't live in a village or a hamlet or any place that I would call a community. But in my heart, I feel like I'm part of a larger community and in the area that I live in, and that is Green County. And so I've always felt it was important to me to work toward things that make life in this county worthwhile, such as the GREENE County Historical Society, where I was a trustee for seven years and for which I still run the major fundraiser and the conservancy that where my husband and I are part of and the Green Land Trust, which we're just starting to work with, to bring more awareness to the fact that even though we're a very rural county, there is a lot that needs to be done to provide open space and secure open space for the future and try to bring opportunities to young people and people of all ages to be out in nature and enjoy how the beautiful world that we have. And I feel responsible to like help promote those things.

Kira Limer [00:03:39]

That's so cool that you guys are part of all those organizations that you're doing these things for the area. What are you most proud of that you've done with that stuff?

Terez Limer [00:03:52]

Well, I have to say, it's the homes tours that I do for the Green County Historical Society. They. They are just our signature event. We hold it once a year and we go to each year, we go to a different community and. And feature the historic homes in that area. And it's not just that I'm proud of them because it is a tremendous amount of like coordination. And you know that I'm proud of that. I can do that. But it's the wonderfulness of getting to know the owners of these buildings in each of these communities, getting to know the community, having the inside story on how these homes have been preserved and and just participating with the owners of these homes in their pride in what they've done and their concern that that these buildings that many times were in terrible shape when they took them over have now been preserved for the future. And they want to share that. I mean, we actually bring about 400 people through these private homes in one day and these wonderful people volunteer for this. They say, yes, they want to show off the place they've worked so hard to preserve.

Kira Limer [00:05:27]

I know you have a lot of fun doing it, too, even though it's a lot of work. And I've participated a little bit. One year I helped you with that and I had a lot of fun more than I expected because I wasn't really sure. It does seem sort of strange to bring crowds of people through someone's home, even if it's a really beautiful home. But I just think it's such a great thing to do. I hope you keep doing it. Are you planning to?

Terez Limer [00:05:53]

Yes. Well, they twisted my arm again because I was going to take a break and they said, Oh, they weren't going to do it if I wasn't going to. Oh, that's.

Kira Limer [00:06:05]

That's really flattering.

Terez Limer [00:06:06]

Yeah, well, they don't know anybody else who would take on this much responsibility. But but yeah, every year when I say, oh, I just can't possibly do another one, it's so demanding and I have a full time job. I just remember how much fun it is to get to know all these people and, and it just starts to get me entranced again. So and this year we are going to be in our home township, which is New Baltimore. And so that should be an especially nice event.

Kira Limer [00:06:41]

Are you going to show your house?

Terez Limer [00:06:44]

No. No, we can't really were too far out of a loop that you would use for something like this. You have to consider the route that you're taking people on and the limited amount of time they have to get from start to finish of the tour. So usually the loops that we create for them to drive to I. Time them. And I have to know that that this is doable. We usually put ten places on the tour and and that's a lot for people to travel to. And so we're too far out of the loop. But I'm sure that a lot of our friends who are part of the Conservancy are going to be putting their homes on, which will be very nice.

Kira Limer [00:07:27]

That's great. Have you made friends with people that you didn't know before through doing this?

Terez Limer [00:07:32]

Oh, absolutely. And, you know, of all ages and all types of people. Several years ago, when we did a tour along the Hudson River for the Quadra Centennial, we had some absolutely marvelous historic homes. But we always try to include one that is a modern home just for the fun of it. And the one we got in that year was built on the footprint of an old farmhouse, but it had been completely rebuilt as a modern paradise for these people who come from, I think, New York City and who can actually bring their boat up into the bay where that home is and dock it right there and walk up to there. And they just made it a real paradise. And it was just. Some people's favorite home on the tour because it was such an eye opener. And these were people who had everything done for them. All the work was done for them instead of them doing the work. But they were very congenial and, you know, they're wealthy people. I'm just very open to everyone and willing to let you know, everybody just tromp through their place with their shoes off. And, you know, it was a terrific, terrific experience and not the normal for what we do, because most of the people that we deal with have done the work themselves are still in progress doing the work. So it was a whole nother way of life and it was fun.

Kira Limer [00:09:17]

So these were wealthy people. It was a couple, right?

Terez Limer [00:09:20]

Mm hmm. Yeah. They're doctors, both of them, I think, retired. And it was really you know, you feel as though you did make a friend. By the time you get done taking pictures of the house, talking with them about what points they'd like to feature in the brochure that we make. And, you know, they they have little concerns about, well, what about this and what about that? So I spend a lot of time with the homeowners and I get to know them pretty well. And it really has broadened my horizons tremendously. And, you know, if I see those people at an event or something, it's always like, Oh yeah, how are you doing? So good to see you, you know? So it's really fun.

Kira Limer [00:10:12]

That's great. And it sounds like that creates a community for you that isn't quite location based. It's all local, but it's not necessarily people that live right next to you, but you end up feeling like you have neighbors all over the place.

Terez Limer [00:10:30]

Yeah, it's a network. It's a network community rather than a physical community. And I think that maybe eventually, as Will and I get older, like seventies or something, that we may want to actually live in a village and be able to walk to things, a library and cultural events. But right now, we love our property so much. We love being out in the country so much that I don't think we could sacrifice that in order to live in a more crowded setting.

Kira Limer [00:11:10]

Right. Well, so let's talk a little bit about your house and your property. And we we spent such a long time as a family looking for a new house. I feel like we spent most of my childhood looking at houses. And you finally found this one. And you've been working on it ever since. What? How are you feeling about it now?

Terez Limer [00:11:43]

Well, actually, the whole thing has been an adventure. And the part of looking for homes, even though sometimes it was frustrating. Right?

Kira Limer [00:11:52]

I thought it was really fun adventure.

Terez Limer [00:11:55]

It was an adventure. And we did look for eight years. So you're correct. It was a large part of your growing up. But and the adventure, of course, didn't stop with actually finding the property because this was a very downtrodden property, had been used as a as a camp for 50 years, even though it is an old farmhouse that dates back as far as 1850 for one portion of the house in 1875 for the other portion. And so that was an adventure to I mean, I think anybody that's taken on one of these projects has to have a sense of adventure in order to do it. It needed to be completely cleaned out because it had been all paneled and all of the original woodwork had been taken off, which is a heartbreak. But we were able to reproduce some of it. And and it was peeling back the layers to the to the post and beam construction of the house was a tremendous adventure. And then thinking through all the iterations that this house has gone through, what what part of it, where do we restore it to? That was very interesting. And and the fact that it had been quite so muddled allowed us the freedom to remake the room structure the way we would like it and not feel as we would have with a more well taken care of. Historic home that we had to preserve it exactly the way it was. So it's still a project. I'm still painting and restoring the woodwork. But as my builder says, I have many years to finish it. Don't worry about that. Don't try to get it all done at once. So it is a project and an adventure. Still.

Kira Limer [00:13:54]

Will you ever feel like it's done?

Terez Limer [00:13:57]

I don't think so. I don't think anybody does. All the people I've talked with in all of these historic homes that we show for the Homes tour, they they do get to a point, but it can take 20 years. I talked with one man who had been working 20 years to bring his home to where he felt enough that it was done to show it So and he that included sometimes when he had done something and then said, no, that wasn't right, and went back and redid it to make it right. So it is, I think, a process more than something that has a completion date or I do feel, though, as though we've turned. Past the center point of the whole project. And we're on the other side because we've gotten most of the major work done and it just was repainted, which just makes it feel fresh and beautiful again. And so, you know, we have our little schedule of things that still need to be done, and we'll just be doing them as as we go. And it is coming together and feeling really good. And it's a wonderful place that I that my children can come back to and feel that there's room for them and that there's a welcome here that they don't have to stay in a hotel. I never wanted that. I always wanted to have a place big enough so that they could feel this was still their home, even though they don't have this as their home that they live in most of the time. So that was one of my goals in doing this with this.

Kira Limer [00:15:45]

Well. I think you've definitely accomplished that because I've never actually lived here as my real home. I've lived here for I think the longest was like three months or so. Oh, maybe, maybe a little bit longer. Maybe like five months. But when I come back here, I really feel I feel so at home and relaxed. It's really a welcoming place that you've created. Do you own it? I know when I asked you earlier what you felt most thankful for about Thanksgiving, you mentioned a sense of home. Do you want to talk about that?

Terez Limer [00:16:26]

Sure. I think that that dates way back into my childhood. We we had five children in the family. We didn't have much money, but we owned this big former inn on eastern Long Island before it became really swanky to live there. And it was it had.

Kira Limer [00:16:57]

It was East.

Terez Limer [00:16:58]

Congress. Yeah, it had. A life of its own. That's the only way I can describe it. It was an entity, a gracious, beautiful building. And I got my sense, I think, of of wanting to be in that kind of setting from growing up in that house, even though we only used the first floor of it, it was huge. And we rented the top floor to I think there were three apartments up there. It's still the graciousness of that home and the grounds around it with roses and honeysuckle and lilac trees. It just set the scene for me to want that as I got became an adult. And I think that that just is a special thing to me. I was given the opportunity to travel as a musician, and I've never regretted that. I didn't want to do it. I wanted I didn't want to be on the road. I didn't want to be living. In temporary housing. For most of my life, I wanted to be where I could dig roots down and feel as though I was part of a place, a place, the land, the community. So that's home to me means all of those things, not just the house, but the setting, the land, the the animals and birds that come to know that they live here too. And really, because we live in such a rural area, it's almost as though we're just a little blip in their world. They use our yard, the foxes use our yard as a little thoroughfare to go from one wetland to the other and sometimes sit on the hill above the house and just look down at us as if we're kind of like, Hmm, well, aren't they interesting? You know, I guess we can tolerate them.

Kira Limer [00:19:19]

Just another creature in the yard.

Terez Limer [00:19:22]

They're not too much in our way. I guess we can put up with them. And you know, the coyotes that howl and run down in the lower wetland and echo off of the the hills. And it's just, you know, we're part of it, and that's all part of home to me, too. And then the land and being able to grow things and my flowers and vegetables and herbs. That all makes this sense of peace and and home for me.

Kira Limer [00:19:58]

Yeah. This is such a great place, do you think? Is this the first time that you've had that sense of home since you were at East Klang? Have you felt like that before?

Terez Limer [00:20:12]

It isn't the first time. It's the most complete. We rented a farmhouse for five. Or it was ten years.

Kira Limer [00:20:20]

Where I was.

Terez Limer [00:20:21]

Born. Yes. And. And that was. An old farmhouse with lots of problems, but we couldn't really fix them all because we didn't own it. But we we loved it. And it had 50 acres that we built trails on.

Kira Limer [00:20:42]

And how many acres do we have here?

Terez Limer [00:20:44]

We have 15, and it backs on to 40 acres in one direction and 80 acres in another. That is all wild, which is lovely.

Kira Limer [00:20:56]

80 acres behind the house, in the woods or on the other side.

Terez Limer [00:21:00]

The lower wetland.

Kira Limer [00:21:01]

Oh, I didn't realize that. Mm hmm.

Terez Limer [00:21:03]

Yeah. Then and our neighbor just had the opportunity to buy that 80 acres and and and he is just as interested in keeping it open and natural as we are. So that was wonderful. And then the wetland in the back of the house, there's 40 acres in back there that is again, undeveloped and untouched and just lovely.

Kira Limer [00:21:30]

If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

Terez Limer [00:21:33]

Well, I always thought, you know, there was a project that. Who played Spock in Star Wars.

Kira Limer [00:21:42]

Star Trek. Leonard Nimoy.

Terez Limer [00:21:45]

Nimoy did a project photography project where he had people come into his studio dressed as. Who they really felt they were inside. And he was interviewed on NPR about this project. So it got me thinking about who would I be if I were to direct, what would I dress as if I was going to participate in his project. And it wasn't an animal, it was a tree. And I do feel myself as a tree. And when I'm in the woods, I feel a kinship with trees.

Kira Limer [00:22:19]

What kind of tree?

Terez Limer [00:22:21]

Oh, something tall and. And big. Like a big maple. I don't think it would be a shaggy bark hickory, because I see it as being a smooth sided tree.

Kira Limer [00:22:33]

Yeah, the shade bark hickory is kind of. I almost feel like it's more masculine as a tree.

Terez Limer [00:22:40]

Yeah, I do love the smooth sided trees. Beech is immense, so I might not. But I love the smooth sided bark.

Kira Limer [00:22:49]

What about pine trees? I noticed you're not talking about them at all.

Terez Limer [00:22:54]

No, it wouldn't be pine. It would definitely be a deciduous tree. So maple might be a good choice, because I do. Birch is a little showier than what I would think of myself as. I think it would be maple.

Kira Limer [00:23:10]

That's awesome. And you could make syrup, too. What kind of tree do you think I would be if I was a tree? I've thought about this before, too. I never came to a conclusion about it, though. I think.

Terez Limer [00:23:22]

Oh, I think each person has to feel the type of tree inside themselves. If they feel that they have this tree inside.

Kira Limer [00:23:30]

I don't know. What about animals? Have you ever thought of me as an animal? Hmm?

Terez Limer [00:23:39]

Mm hmm. Well, that's tough, because I used to call you Kira Boo. But that wasn't because I thought of you as a caribou.

Kira Limer [00:23:48]

Oh, I know. That never occurred to me either, Josh says sometimes. But here I remind him of a deer. Mm hmm.

Terez Limer [00:23:57]

Oh, that's. That's good. Yes. I used to have a very strong affinity for deer in that respect myself.

Kira Limer [00:24:04]

And they're very gentle creatures, and they sort of. I guess they'll be good for you because they have kind of a large range that they go over, which is sort of what you're saying about your sense of home. It's very large. It includes more than just like your little your den if you're an animal, but it includes all over your area. So I was kind of thinking of like a large cat roaming around for you.

Terez Limer [00:24:34]

Yeah. Actually, when I see pictures of lynx, I'm, like, totally attracted to that animal. And I have actually seen lynx here. Um.

Kira Limer [00:24:47]

That's really rare.

Terez Limer [00:24:49]

Lynx or bobcat?

Kira Limer [00:24:50]

I think it would be a bobcat.

Terez Limer [00:24:52]

It was bobcat. I'd love to see lynx, but even the Bobcats are like a small sized one, and they're. They're so amazing. They hunt in some of the wetland areas here, and they're so secretive about their ways. But once in a while, if you're driving, they'll be crossing the road with a duck in their mouth or something. And they're they're just one of the most gorgeous animals I've ever seen.

Kira Limer [00:25:21]

Well, I think you would be a lynx if I had to name an animal for you. But I've always wanted to be a bird. I think an owl, most likely. I know we both love owls. Um, I just think they're so. Well, first off, flight would be is something that I've always wished for. And the kind of freedom to lift up off of the ground, away from all your problems, and just see everything from a perspective way above like that, though, you don't really get that on a plane. I just. I would love to be a bird. Sometimes I've thought a seagull or a crow, but definitely a bird is what I think I would be.

Terez Limer [00:26:07]

Yeah, It would be wonderful to be a bird. Um. It's not what I feel is my central core person. If I was something other than a human. But I do. I love thinking about that. And sometimes if I'm driving and a hawk is driving, not driving, but flying, you know, parallel to me and at the same speed, it's just an amazing thing to like kind of mentally transpose yourself across that little distance to where they are and almost participate in their winged flight. Uh, as long as they're going in the same direction and gives you a little tiny taste of what it might be like.

Kira Limer [00:26:57]

Yeah, I love that, too. Well. When you think about having me, I know you mentioned at the beginning you guys waited a long time to have kids. What does that taught you? Being my mom. Mm hmm.

Terez Limer [00:27:23]

Oh, I don't. There's such a world of possibility in what you just asked me.

Kira Limer [00:27:29]

You can narrow it down if you want.

Terez Limer [00:27:31]

There's just. There's a reservoir of love in each of us that I think is tapped in many ways, but is tapped in a very special way with a child. And for years before I was able to have children, I could feel that reservoir inside myself. And. It was a very frustrating thing not to be able to tap it. So it was like a total revelation and such a right feeling to finally be able to have a child and love a child. And even though all parents feel as though they couldn't possibly be prepared enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child and loving a child enough and in the right ways, you do it. And and it teaches you to give. At times when you think you don't have enough to give or anything left to give to, to to share time and space with an other person that has maybe a totally different way of looking at things. Even though they were raised in your house with you and to stretch your mind and to try to incorporate that into your life so that you can bridge that distance is is really a gift is really a tremendous. Gift from your children to you, and it makes you a deeper person.

Kira Limer [00:29:09]

That's that's a really beautiful thing that you just said. What do you think you've learned from me? Like as a person, bridging that gap between us. What do you think? Have I come up with anything that really surprised you that you wouldn't have wouldn't have thought of on your own?

Terez Limer [00:29:34]

Oh, many times. There is a very strong link, I feel, between us, especially in many of the things that we love the plants and animals and the woods and, um, creative things and making things with our hands and reading. There's so many links there, but so many times you would surprise me, even as a little girl with just your, your perception of something. And I've, I wrote some of them down. They were so amazing to me. I'm sure parents all do this. But I remember one time you were on our swing set in the house at Doorman's Fell, which was up on a big hill, and there were a lot of birds that would fly past. And it was so much fun to watch the birds. And I remember you singing this little song where you said All the birds are miracles that happened in the sky. And I just it floored me. I was like, That's so wonderful. It's so real and so true. So I've never I.

Kira Limer [00:30:49]

Don't remember that. I. I remember that at all.

Terez Limer [00:30:52]

Oh, I loved it. And you had a little rhyme. It went bluebird blue bird, look me in the eye. And I was like, Yes, that is so right. That is so good.

Kira Limer [00:31:01]

Did I make that up?

Terez Limer [00:31:02]

I think you did. I've never found it anywhere else. And you were just swinging on the swing, making a little swinging song. And it was one of the great moments of being a parent is is seeing that something so beautiful flow out of your child. Um, but I think through you, I have come to appreciate something I never thought that I would, which is your ability to live in a large city, which was such a surprise to me that you would.

Kira Limer [00:31:38]

Surprising to me too. I don't know that I do love it that much. I would. I think I would rather live in a place like this where all the things that I love are around me. It's really difficult being a person that, like you just said, loves everything that you just mentioned. That we share together are things that I can't really find very much where I live in Brooklyn or let alone in Manhattan. Um, so it's sort of, uh, I feel as though it's sort of a compromise. Like I lived there for my career and for the, the connections, the friends that I've made and Josh and like my, yeah, I guess my social and work life. But in a lot of ways I do feel kind of unfulfilled in that those other things that I love are not around me. I feel sort of incomplete sometimes.

Terez Limer [00:32:46]

Mhm. Well, I wondered if that wasn't true, but I have come so to admire the fact that within that context you have sought out all the opportunities to find the things you love and through you we've come to know the New York Botanical Garden and and appreciate what a tremendous place that is. Um, and I never really thought of Central Park as something really special because it's confined. And to us living here with all these acres and acres, it seems like, how could that be a really valuable natural place? But it is, it's a tremendous natural place. So within the context of what you've chosen for your career and your social life, you've found those things that can help renew your sense of nature. And and that's a term I just admire you so much for doing that and for keeping true to that, even though you've found a way to to to work with the the urban setting. Um, I don't think I could have done that.

Kira Limer [00:34:07]

It's been a difficult balancing act. Um, I don't. It feels really good to know that you admire me for that, because I sometimes don't know how well I'm managing to do it all. You know, I always feel like my life is a balancing act between what I have to do and what I want to do and all these different different theories that I sort of am a part of. Do you ever feel like that?

Terez Limer [00:34:41]

Absolutely. And right now my balancing act is that I'm at the age where I could retire and accept that I need to provide the health insurance for the family. And there are, I feel ready to do another stage of my life. I want to concentrate again on writing, but I want to write not for publication and, you know, immediate publication as I did as a journalist, but but to write poetry and essays and and not even worry about whether they will ever be published, just just bring them forth because they're in me and and they want to be out. And there is a whole life within me that I know is just waiting for me to have time and not have to be working 40 hours a week that I could begin to express these things. And there I mean, I have interviewed people who have done that, and I've written stories about poets who spent their most of their working life up until the time they were 56 or so, 60 as farmers working 24 seven to support their families, and who finally turned the management of the farm over to sons and produced amazing poetry and or art. And so I know it's possible, but I'm getting.

Kira Limer [00:36:12]

I getting older, impatient.

Terez Limer [00:36:14]

And impatient. I want to be able to do that now, and I have several more years to go. So there is a balancing act there, too.

Kira Limer [00:36:23]

Yeah. And by stories you mean when you were a reporter, Right. So these were these were people that you wrote about for the newspaper?

Terez Limer [00:36:33]

Yes. I worked in newspapers for 15 years and covered any assignment that I had to do. And a lot of them were the mechanics of small town government and etc.. But I always found time to do special features on people, and those were the things I loved the best. And, you know, it's one thing to write about in an external focus, which is a person or a place, and another to write what's inside you that may not have that kind of strict form. And I want to explore that now. I want to explore my own thoughts, my own feelings toward things instead of just.

Kira Limer [00:37:28]

Just reporting what happened.

Terez Limer [00:37:30]

It never was just for reporting you you when you interview someone and become part of what they are enough to express it, it's always pulling from your pool of information and your feelings and your senses and your perception of them. But I'd like to kind of cut myself off from that inspiration and let it focus more on my perception of my world.

Kira Limer [00:37:59]

Right. So we're about to wrap up here before we end. Is there any advice that you want to give me, like as a not just as my mom, but as a person who's gone through more life than me? What do you want to tell me?

Terez Limer [00:38:22]

I just want you to know that. It's hard sometimes to give credence to your own inner self because it may be at odds with things that you have around you, or they think other people are doing different things so that you might lose your sense of self or or the importance of yourself. And just to take the time to renew yourself and feel the strength of what is there inside you and let your decisions flow from there as much as you can.

Kira Limer [00:39:04]

Thank you. I just want to say, I know I was away from you for quite a long time this year, but I think it was good for me because in order to really appreciate coming home, I had to be away for a while longer than I ever had been before. Discovering myself and. Becoming more of an independent person, I guess. And then this time, this Thanksgiving, I feel like I'm appreciating. You guys and home and everything about it. Everything that we've been talking about so much more. And I think that that is partially because I haven't been here for a while and I'm seeing it all with a refreshed eye.

Terez Limer [00:40:03]

Mhm. Yes. And I think too that when you b as you become more independent. Um. Your visits to your parents has become more a joy because there isn't a tug and pull of Wait a minute, I'm losing some of my independence. Wait a minute. I'm starting to act like a child.

Kira Limer [00:40:27]

Yes.

Terez Limer [00:40:29]

So? So the stronger you become, the more joy we can have in our relationship.

Kira Limer [00:40:35]

Yeah. I'm glad you feel like that. And. I hope that it wasn't too hard for you to have me away from you for a long time. I hope that you understand.

Terez Limer [00:40:50]

Oh, I do. I understand. And I want you to have the time and the opportunity to travel and to experience other places. Um, it's. There's no replacement for that ever. It becomes so much a part of your life. And I know I did that to my own mother. I went away for a year, and. And I worked in Vista in southern Florida in the the migrant belt, and, um, and it was a whole revelation. And I would never have wanted not to have experienced that. But now, being a parent, I understand that it was hard for her. I didn't come home for Christmas. I didn't come home for Thanksgiving. I didn't see them at all during that year. And. But so I always try to remember that when I know that you're away and you're doing things that are building you as a person and and widening your mind and and making you into the mature person that you are becoming.

Kira Limer [00:41:52]

Oh, I'm so glad. Well. I'm really glad that we took the time to do this, and I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. And I love you so much, Mom. It's so great being here and talking and listening with you, and I'm just really happy that we have the chance to do it.

Terez Limer [00:42:14]

Yeah, it's a wonderful thing this day of listening and the fact that you have this little kit here that allows you to record these things. And it does, it creates a time where there is no focus other than to do this. And we don't often have that. We're always doing something together or we're talking from a distance or emailing or. So this is a wonderful opportunity and I'm really glad that you did this.

Kira Limer [00:42:41]

Me too. All Thank you. Thank StoryCorps for giving me this delightful little kit for a couple of days. And this has been great. Thank you, mom.

Terez Limer [00:42:53]

Thank you, Kira.

Kira Limer [00:42:54]

Love you.

Terez Limer [00:42:55]

I love you, too


Transcript

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00:01 I am Kira Limer. I'm 27 years old today is November 26th, 2010 the national day of listening and we are in hannacroix New York at my parents house and I am interviewing my mother Terez Emily Marie.

00:19 I'm Terez Limer. I am 62 years old. This is a home November 26th, 2010 the national day of listening on we're doing this in our home and hannacroix New York and the interview it was my daughter.

00:38 So Mom, first of all, I'd like to hear you describe yourself. I think this is a really good way to start the interview.

00:48 Wow, well, I'm kind of a mish-mosh.

00:56 I have like talents that I've been trying to use throughout my life writing as a journalist singing as a jazz singer.

01:09 And I have a lot of concerns that I expressed through nonprofits that I either volunteer for or work for such as the Greene County Council on the Arts where I now work and I love the outdoors. It's part of my soul and so are my children who are like so important to me we waited.

01:37 Longer than we wanted to to have children. And so they're very special to us and to me.

01:43 Oh, that's really nice. I think one of the things that I've gotten from you so love of the outdoors also that it's part of my soul to if I owed express it in those words, but you said you have a lot of concerns. What do you mean by that?

02:07 Actually concerns might not have been the right word. I just feel a responsibility to to be a part of a community. Even if I'm not living in a community right now. We don't live in a village or a hamlet or any place that I would call a community but in my car, I feel like I'm part of a larger community in in the area that I live in in that is Greene County. And so I've always felt it was important to work towards things that make life in this County worthwhile such as the Greene County Historical Society where I was at Rusty for 7 years and for which I still run the major fundraiser and the Conservancy that we're my husband and I are part of and the green Land Trust which were just starting to work with.

03:07 To bring more awareness to the fact that even though we're very rule County. There's a lot that needs to be done to provide open space and and secure open space for the future and try to bring opportunities to young people and people of all ages to be out in nature and enjoy the beautiful world that we have and I feel responsible to like help promote those things.

03:39 That's so cool that you guys are a part of all those organizations that you're doing these things for the area. What are you most proud of that you've done with that stuff. I have to say it's a home stores that I do for the Greene County Historical Society. They they are just our signature event. We held it once a year and we go to each year we go to a different community and and feature the historic homes in that area and it's not just that I'm proud of them because it is a tremendous amount of like coordination and

04:21 You know that I'm proud of that I can do that but it's the wonderfulness of of getting to know the owners of these buildings in each of these communities getting to know the community having the Inside Story on how these homes have been preserved and and and just participating with the owners of these homes in their pride and what they've done and and their concern that that these buildings that many times were in terrible shape when they took them over have now been preserved for the future and they want to share that. I mean, we actually bring about 400 people through these private homes in one day and these wonderful people volunteer for this they say, yes, they want to show off the there the place they work so hard to preserve so that

05:21 That's just a real upper every year even though it's a lot of work. I know you have a lot of fun doing it to even though it's a lot of work and I've participated a little bit one year. I helped you with that and I had a lot of fun more than I expected because I wasn't really sure it does seem sort of strange to bring crowds of people through someone's home. Even if it's a really beautiful home, but I just think it's such a great thing to do. I hope you keep doing it. Are you planning to yes, well, they twisted my arm again cuz I was going to take a break and they said no they weren't going to do it if I wasn't going to go that's that's really flattering. Yeah. Well, I don't know anybody else who would take on this much responsibility. But but he had every year when I say, I just can't possibly do another one. It's so demanding and I have a full-time job.

06:21 I just remember how much fun it is to get to know all these people and and it just starts to get me in tranced again. So and this year we are going to be in our home Township, which is New Baltimore. And so that should be an especially nice event. Are you going to show your house? No, you can't really we're too far out of a loop that you would use for something like this. You have to consider the route that you're taking people on in the limited amount of time. They have to get from start to finish up the tour. So usually the loops that we create for them to drive to I time them and I have to know that this is doable. We usually put 10 places on the tour and and that's a lot for people to travel to and so we're too far out of the loop, but I'm sure that

07:21 A lot of our friends who are part of the Conservancy are going to be putting their homes on which will be very nice. If that's great. Have you made friends with people that you didn't know before through doing this? Oh absolutely and you know of all ages and all types of people like us several years ago. When we did a tour along the Hudson River for the quadricentennial we had some absolutely marvellous historic homes, but we always try to include one that is a modern home just for the fun of it and the one we got in that year was built on the footprint of an old farmhouse, but it had been completely rebuilt as a modern Paradise for these people who come from I think New York City and who can actually bring their boat up into the bay where that home is and

08:21 Pocket right there and walk up to there and they just made it a real Paradise it it was just

08:32 Some people's favorite home on the toilet because it was such an eye-opener and these were people who had everything done for them. All the work was done for them instead of him doing the work but they were very congenial and you do the wealthy people just very open to everyone and willing to let you know everybody just Trump through their place with her shoes off and you know, it was a terrific experience and not the normal for what we do. I make his most of the people that we deal with have done the work themselves are still in progress doing the work. So it was a whole nother way of life and it was fun. So these were wealthy people does the couple right? Yeah. They're the doctors both of them. I think retired and the it was really you know, you feel

09:31 What do you do to make a friend by the time you get done taking pictures of the house talking with him about what points they would like to feature in the brochure that we make and you know that they have little concerns about will what about this and what about that? So I spend a lot of time with the homeowners and I get to know them pretty well and it really has broadened my horizons tremendously in and you know, if I see those people at an event or something, it's always like oh, yeah, how you doing? So good to see you. You know, that's really fun. That's great. It sounds like that creates a community for you. That isn't quite location-based. It's all local but it's not necessarily people that live right next to you, but you end up feeling like you have neighbor is all over the place.

10:30 Yeah, it's a network. It's a network Community rather than a physical community and I think that maybe eventually as well and I get older like 70s or something that we may want to actually live in a village and be able to walk to things a library and cultural events. But right now that we love our property so much. We love being out in the country so much that I don't think we could sacrifice that in order to live in a more crowded setting a little bit about your house and your property.

11:18 We we spent such a long time as a family looking for a new house. I feel like we spent most of my childhood looking at houses and you finally found this one and you've been working on ever since what how are you feeling about it now.

11:43 Well, actually the whole thing has been an adventure and the part of looking for homes, even though sometimes it was frustrating. I thought it was really fun adventure. It was an adventure and we did look for 8 years. So you're correct. It was a large part of your growing up but and I had been sure of course didn't stop with actually finding the property because this was a very down trotted property. I've been used as a as a camp for 50 years, even though it is an old farmhouse that dates back as far as 1854-1 portion of the house in 1875 for the other portion and so is that was an adventure to I mean, I think anybody that's taken on one of these projects has to have a sense of adventure in order to do it. It needed to be completely cleaned out because it had been

12:43 All pan old and all of the original woodwork had been taken off which is a heartbreak, but we were able to reproduce some of it.

12:53 And um and it was peeling back the layers to the to the post and beam construction of the house was a tremendous adventure and then thinking through all the iterations that this house has gone through what what part of it. Where do we restore it to that was very interesting and and the fact that it had been quite so muddled allowed us the freedom to remake the room structure the way we would like it and not feel as we would have with him or well taken care of historic home that we had to preserve it exactly the way it was so it's still a project. I'm still painting and restoring the woodwork but as my Builder says I have many years to finish it. Don't worry about that. Don't try to get it all done at once. So it is a project and Anna.

13:53 Entresto

13:54 Will you ever feel like it's done? I don't think so. I don't think anybody does all the people I've talked with it and all of these historic homes that we show for the home store think they do get to a point but it can take twenty years. I talked with one man who had been working 20 years to bring his home to where he felt enough that it was done to show it so and he is at included sometimes when he had done something and then said no that wasn't right and went back and read it to make it right. So it is I think a process more than something that has a completion date or I do feel as though we've turns

14:45 Pass the center point of the whole project and we're on the other side because we've gotten most of the major work done and it just was repainted which makes it feel fresh and beautiful again.

15:01 And out so, you know we have is our little schedule of things that still need to be done and we'll just be doing them as as we go and it is coming together and feeling really good and it's a wonderful place that I that my children come back to and feel that there's room for them and that there's a welcome here that they don't have to stay in a hotel. I've never wanted that. I always wanted to have a place big enough so that they could feel this was still their home, even though they don't have this as their home that they live in most of the time so that was one of my goals and in doing this with this house

15:46 I think you've definitely accomplished that because I've never actually lived here as my real home. I've lived here for I think the longest was like 3 months or so, maybe it maybe a little bit longer maybe like 5 months, but when I come back here, I really feel I feel so at home and relax. It's really a welcoming place that you've created. Do you want it? I know it when I asked you earlier what you felt most thankful for about Thanksgiving. You mentioned a sense of home. Do you want to talk about that?

16:25 I'm sure I think that that dates way back into my childhood.

16:35 We we had five children in the family. We didn't have much money.

16:42 But we owned this big for Marin on Eastern Long Island before it became really Swanky to live there and it it was it had East quogue real? Yes. Yeah. It had a life of its own. That's the only way I can describe it. It was an entity a gracious beautiful building and I got my sense. I think of of wanting to be in that kind of setting from growing up in that house, even though we only used the first floor of it. It was huge and we rented the top floor 2

17:30 I neither were three apartments up there. It's still that the graciousness of that home and the grounds around it with roses and Honeysuckle and lilac trees. It just set the scene for me to want that as I got became an adult and I think that that's just is a special thing to me. I was given the opportunity to travel as a musician and I have never regretted that I didn't want to do it. I wanted I didn't want to be on the road. I didn't want to be living.

18:15 In temporary housing for most of my life. I wanted to be where I could dig Roots down and feel as though I was tired of a place a place the land the community. So that's home to me means all of those things not just the house but the setting the land the the animals and birds that come to know that they live here too and really because we live in such a rural area. It's almost as though we're just a little blip in their world. They use our yard the foxes use our yard as a thoroughfare to go from one Wetland to the other and sometimes sit on the hill above the house and just looked down at us as if we're kind of like

19:15 Aren't they interesting? You know, I guess we can tolerate them just another creature in the marching our way. I guess we can put up with them and you know, the coyotes howl and run down in the lower Wetland and Echo off of the hills and it's just, you know, we're part of it and that's all part of home to me too. And then the land and being able to grow things and

19:47 My flowers and vegetables and herbs that all makes the sense of Peace in and home for me. Yeah. This is such a great place. Do you think is this the first time that you've had that sense of home since you were at East quogue, have you felt like that before?

20:11 It isn't the first time it's the most complete we rented a farmhouse for 5-10 years where I was born and and that was

20:28 An old farmhouse with lots of problems, but we couldn't really fix them all because we didn't own it, but we we loved it and it had 50 acres that we built Trails on and how many acres do we have here? We have fifteen and it backs onto 40 acres in One Direction and 80 acres in another that is all wild which is lovely 80 acres behind the house in the woods around the other side the lower Wetland didn't realize that and our neighbor just had the opportunity to buy that 80 acres end and he is just as interested in keeping it open and natural as we are so that was wonderful. And then the Wetland in the back of the house, there's Forty Acres and back there that is again on developed and untouched.

21:28 And just lovely if you were an animal. What animal would you be? Like, I always thought you know, there was a project that

21:39 Who played Spock in Star wars Star Trek Leonard Nimoy project photography project where he had people come into His Studio dressed as

21:52 Oh good. I really felt they were inside. I knew he was interviewed on it NPR about this project. So it got me thinking about who would I be if I were to die, what would I dress as if I was going to participate in his project and it wasn't an animal it was a tree and I do feel myself as a tree and when I'm in the other would I feel a kinship with trees?

22:19 What kind of tree something tall and and big like a big Maple? I don't think it would be a Shagbark Hickory because I see it as being a smooth side entry Hickory is kind of

22:37 I almost feel like it's more masculine as a tree. Yeah, I do love the smooth-sided trees Beach is a mess. So I might not but I love the smooth-sided bark. What about pine trees that I noticed you're not talking about them at all know. It wouldn't be Pine. It would definitely be a deciduous tree and maple might be a good choice cuz I I do at Birch is a little shorter than what I would think of myself as I think it would be Maple. That's awesome. And you can make syrup. Teeth. What kind of tree do you think I would be if I was a tree I thought about this before 2, I never came to a conclusion about it though. I think I think each person has to feel

23:24 The type of tree inside themselves if they feel that they have this treasonous inside them. I don't know.

23:33 What about animals? Have you ever thought of me as an animal?

23:41 Well, that's tough because I used to call you Kiera blue, but I did that wasn't because I thought of you as a caribou never occurred to me either sometimes that he may I remind him of a d r o that's that's good. Yes, I used to have a very strong affinity for deer in that respect myself and they're very gentle creatures and they sort of I guess that would be good for you because I have kind of a large range that they go over which is her know what you were saying about your sense of home. It's very large and includes more than just like your little your dad and if you were an animal but includes all over your area, so I was kind of thinking of like a large cat roaming around for you actually when I see pictures of lynx.

24:38 I'm like totally attracted to that animal and I've actually seen links here. That's a really rare is a lynx or Bobcat. I think it would be a bobcat bobcat. I would love to see a lynx but even the Bobcats are like a small-sized one and they're they're so amazing. They hunt in some of the Wetland areas here and they're so secretive about their ways but once in a while if you're driving, they'll be crossing the road with a doctor in their mouth or something in there. They're just one of the most gorgeous animals I've ever seen. I think you would be a lynx if I hadn't even animal for you, but I've always wanted to be a bird I think an owl most likely I know we both love owls. I just think they're so

25:39 Well first off light would be is something that I've always wished for and let the kind of freedom to lift up off of the ground away from earlier problems. Send that to see everything from a perspective way above like that. You don't really get that on a play. No, just I would love to be a buried sometimes. I thought a seagull lyrics the definitely a bird is what I think I would be. Yeah, it would be wonderful to be a bird.

26:11 It's not what I feel is my central core person if I was something other than a human but I do I love thinking about that and sometimes if I'm driving and a hawk is driving not driving but flying, you know parallel to me and at the same speed it's just an amazing thing to like kind of mentally transpose yourself across that little distance to where they are and almost participate in their wings flight as long as they're going in the same direction and gives you a little tiny taste of what it might be like

26:57 Yeah, I love that too.

27:01 Well, when you think about having me, I know you mentioned at the beginning you guys waited a long time to have kids.

27:16 What is it taught you being my mom?

27:23 Oh, I don't there's such a world of possibility and what you just asked me if you can narrow it down if you want there's just there's a reservoir of love each of us that I think is tapped in many ways, but is tapped in a very special way with a child and four years before I was able to have children. I could feel that Reservoir inside myself and it was a very frustrating thing not to be able to tap it so it was like a total Revelation and such a right feeling to finally be able to have a child and love a child and even though all parents feel as though they couldn't possibly be prepared enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child and loving a child enough and in the right ways you do it

28:23 And and it teaches you to give a times when you think you don't have enough to give or anything left to give to the shared time and space with an other person that has maybe a totally different way of looking at things even though they were raised in your house with you. I meant to stretch your mind and to try to incorporate that into your life so that you can bridge that distance is is really a gift is really at a tremendous.

29:03 Gift from your children to you and it makes you a deeper person.

29:09 That's really beautiful thing that you just said. What do you think you've learned from me? Like as a person bridging that gap between us? What do you think?

29:25 Have I come up with anything that really surprise you that you wouldn't have one of thought of it on your own?

29:34 Oh many times there is a very strong. When can I feel between us especially in many of the things that we love the plants and animals in the woods and creative things and making things with our hands and reading there's so many links there. But so many times you would surprise me even as a little girl with just your your perception of something and I wrote some of them down they were so amazing to me. I'm sure parents all do this. But I remember one time you were on our swing set in the house at dormansville, which was up on a big hill and there were a lot of birds that would fly past and it was so much fun to watch the birds in I remember

30:34 You singing this little song where you said all the birds are Miracles that happened in the sky and I just it floored me. I was like, that's so wonderful. It's so real and so true so I can never remember that. I don't remember that at all blue bird blue bird. Look me in the eye and I was like that. It's alright. That is so good that I make that up. I think you did. I've never found it anywhere else and you were just swinging on the swing making a little swinging song and it was one of the Great Moments of being a parent is is seeing that something so beautiful flow out of your child, but I think through you I have come to appreciate something. I never thought that I would which is your ability to live in a large city.

31:34 Was such a surprise to me that you would love to present to me to I don't know that I do love it that much.

31:47 I would I think I would rather live in a place like this where all the things that I loved her around me. It's really difficult being a person that like you just said loves everything that you just mentioned that we shared together are things that I can't really find very much where I live in Brooklyn or little Inn in Manhattan. So it's sort of I feel as though it's sort of a compromise like I live there for my career and for the the connections of friends that I gave me head and Josh and

32:28 Like my we had I guess my social and work life. But in a lot of ways, I do feel kind of unfulfilled in that those other things that I love are not around me. I feel tired of incomplete sometimes. Well, I wondered if that wasn't true that have come. So to admire the fact that was in that context. You have sought out all the opportunities to find the things you love and through you we've come to know the New York Botanical Garden and and appreciate what a tremendous place that is and I never really thought of Central Park as something really

33:19 Special because it's confined and to us living here with all these acres and acres is it seems like how could that be a really valuable natural place? But it is it's a tremendous natural place. So within the context of what you've chosen for your career and your social life, you found those things that can help renew your sense of Nature. And and and that's a I just admire you so much for doing that and for keeping true to that even know you from found a way to to work with the urban setting. I don't think I could have done that. It's been a difficult Balancing Act.

34:12 I don't.

34:13 It feels really good to know that you admire me for that because

34:18 I sometimes don't know how well I'm managing to do it all. You know, I always feel like my life is a balancing act between what have to do and what I want to do and all these different different spheres that I sort of am a part of do you ever feel like that? Absolutely in right now at my Balancing Act is that I'm at the age where I could retire and accept that I need to provide the health insurance for the family and there are I feel ready to do another stage of my life. I want to concentrate again on writing but I want to write not for publication, you know immediate publication as I did as a journalist, but but to write poetry and essays and and not even worried about whether they will ever be published just just bring them forth because

35:18 Greene me and and they want to be out and there is a whole life within me that I know is just waiting for me to have time and not have to be working 40 hours a week that I could begin to express these things and there. I mean, I have interviewed people who have done that and I've written stories about poets who spent their most of their working life up until the time they were 56 or so 60 as Farmers working 24/7 tech support their families and who finally turn the management of the farm over two sons and produced amazing poetry and or ours and so I know it's possible, but I'm getting I can getting a little impatient and impatient. I want to be able to do that now.

36:18 And I have several more years to go. So there is a balancing act there to yeah and by stories you mean when you are a reporter, right? So these were these were people that you wrote about for the newspaper. Yes. I worked in newspapers for 15 years and covered any assignment that I had to do a lot of them where the mechanics of small town governments in ETC, but I always found time to do special features on people and those were the things I love the best and you know, it's one thing to write about in an external Focus, which is a person or a place and another to write what's inside you that may not have that kind of strict form and I want to explore that now I want

37:18 To explore my own thoughts my own feelings toward things instead of just just reporting what happened. It never was just reporting you you when you interview someone and become part of what they are enough to express it. It's always pulling from your pool of information in your feelings and your senses and your perception of them, but I'd like to kind of cut myself off from that inspiration and let it focus more on my perception of my world. So we're about to wrap up here before we end. Is there any advice that you want to give me like as it not just as my mom but as a person who's gone through

38:17 More life than me. What do you want to tell me?

38:22 I just want you to know that.

38:27 It's hard sometimes to give Credence to your own inner self because it may be at odds with things that you have around you or this day other people are doing different things so that you might lose your sense of self or or the importance of yourself and and just to take the time to renew yourself and feel the strength of what is there inside you and let your decisions flow from there as much as you can. Thank you. I just want to say I know I was away from you for quite a long time this year, but I think it was good for me because in order to really appreciate coming home. I had to be away for a while.

39:27 Longer than I ever had been before discovering myself and

39:35 Becoming more of an independent person, I guess and then this time this Thanksgiving. I feel like I'm appreciating.

39:46 You guys and home and everything about it everything that we've been talking about so much more and I think that that is partially because I haven't been here for a while and I'm seeing it all with that refreshed. I yes and I think too that when you be as you become more independent

40:11 Your visits to your parents us become more a joy because there isn't a tug and pull of wait a minute. I'm losing some of my Independence. Wait a minute. I'm starting to act like a child. And yes, so so the stronger you become the more joy we can have in our relationship. Yeah. I'm glad you feel like that and

40:41 I hope that it wasn't too hard for you to have me away from you for a long time. I hope that you understand. I understand and I want you to have the time and the opportunity to travel and to experience other places it it's there's no replacement for that ever. It becomes so much a part of your life. And I know I did that to my own mother. I went away for a year and and I worked in Vista and in Southern Florida and the migrant belt and and it was a whole Revelation and I would never have wanted not to have experienced that but now being a parent. I understand that it was hard for her. I didn't come home for Christmas. I didn't come home for Thanksgiving. I didn't see them at altering that year and

41:37 But that's why I always try to remember that when I know that you're away and you're doing things that are building you as a person and and widening your mind and and making you into the mature person that you are becoming. I'm so glad well. I'm really glad that we took the time to do this and I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have and I love you so much Mom is so great being here and talking and listening with you. I'm just really happy that we have the chance to do it. Yeah. It's a wonderful thing this day of listening and the fact that you have this little kid here that allows you to record these things than it does.

42:23 It creates a time where there is no Focus other than to do this and we don't often have that. I'm we're always doing something together or where the talking from a distance for emailing or so. This is a wonderful opportunity, and I'm really glad that you did this me to all thank you. Thanks storycorps for giving me this delightful little kit for a couple days and down. This is been great. Thank you, Mom. Love you. I love you, too.