Lee Morgenlander and Melissa Morgenlander

00:01 Okay. Hi. My name is Melissa Morgan Lander, Atlanta.

00:08 The first started jumping in on me. I'm 32 years old and we're in Grand Central terminal in New York City. And it's June 3rd 2004 and I'm interviewing my father and that's you know, you can take over under my age is 73 years young where in the the story book booth in Grand Central Station station that I've come through many times in my life when I commuted for decades and today is still June 3rd 2004.

00:52 And this is my daughter my favorite daughter. Do you want that on the record?

01:01 Very consistent. All right, I'm going to start with this is what I asked Mom first. I'm going to ask you first to what is your very first memory.

01:24 You know, I'm a little confused about that because you don't know if you're really remember that or that your parents told you and you visualize and think your memory. So the first memory is the time I swallowed a penny when I was a baby in the carriage and my mother wouldn't expect to you feces to make sure to pass through but the was there a little worried about my swallowing a penny that it might be and I do remember that another story like that then I think I remember was the time I was very good child and my mother would take me shopping and those as you enter little shops not supermarkets. Exist and she left me outside the Butcher Store.

02:21 And went in the shop and then she got home and she really she forgot something. It was me by the bunch of stuff. She went back and got me and I was patiently waiting. I was that kind of kid have a goody good little hell. Do you think you were then I was still in a carriage that must have been three three years old.

02:45 So you're not sure if you're actually remember that or so about your

02:57 Childhood your life going up. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Brooklyn East New York and various neighborhoods in those days. My parents would move every

03:11 125 years and I hear I just want that one anecdote about and this I do remember my mother would dress me say in a white suit or something. And if I got tired, I wanted to sit down I'd ring the bell and ask her to bring down some newspapers. I could sit under this paper. I would sit right on the stupid and dirty. My white doesn't make sense to me is that

03:44 Community newspapers are will smudge on your white suit those days. Well, I didn't know that I didn't know that but my childhood was not a happy woman during the day when I got well in that same.

04:12 You're right that same house that we lived until I was about 6, I think the time I was one and 6th. I had one friend Jerry ghetto who I don't think it's around a I serve about 25-30 is go after I married mom and he had had a heart attack and he was my only friend and the one the most wonderful things for sleepovers and even later on when we moved apart the most wonderful thing with sleepovers, but getting to when I was older 10-12 years old lick your boots. I was living in another house and the boys will said we can't play with you you play too rough.

04:57 Because somebody handicapped that they play too rough for me and they didn't want to and so my only friends were the girls around trust a bad idea. I was playing doctor, but at the time I was ten I think

05:20 Interesting psychology. I'm wondering about the psychology of a nine-year-old who gets blindfolded and you pull down her panties and she claims not to know that not to know.

05:32 But I didn't have friends. I remember being unhappy during this. Then when I was around.

05:42 3212 exit 39a move to another neighbor in the guys are much more accepting and and we are having a good time about up to what age you are my child up to 40 you do. I don't know. I never thought about it.

06:13 At 1 let me think they may have been just wanted Lodge for apartments like a separate bedroom for me my

06:24 But we always seem to have borders and a my aunt Myrtle lived with us for many many years in one apartment and oh, yes, she when she met her husband. She lived with us. She had a phone and we didn't I still remember the phone number but we would sometimes use it phones are very unusual when I was growing up and during World War II you couldn't get them, but we didn't have any until much later but the end then

06:59 Another time we moved to another apartment and I have to find out if my uncle why why we moved him instead of time we moved we lived in a place only about a year the place at a border and we moved in and the Border was was with it. What if we took your father with the boy who paid us board and she was one of those stereotype Old Maid with the hair and stayed in her room all night. I don't think she ate with us or at least I don't remember that part of it.

07:34 What what's it like to have a border? What does that mean? Does your mom cooks a supergroup? That's what I don't remember. I don't think she cooked for her. I don't think she was room. I think she just had the room at 8 or maybe cook their own food. I don't think my mother.

07:51 Do you remember any other borders but we move to the place that really for me my teenage years. I was about thirteen my Uncle Maurice from you know, had a girlfriend and she moved in with us. And what was

08:14 And he was in the Army and she was living with us and she was very sexual person here. I am a 13 year old and pressure old kid. We would do things like just lie on top of me make believe you Amorous for something something like that. Quite so that I was too scared to the follow-up at 13 ft. And then she she moved out at my Uncle never married her me. She was an attractive woman.

08:43 But that that was Shepard. Have you had with my formative me and live there Tina time? I was thirteen until around 19. That's when we had a a gang there was things to hit Brooklyn called Social Club sell Eclipse. You rented a furnished basement. Somebody's house you put in $0.50 a week Tuesday had 16 or 20 guys. That was the the rent was like $30.

09:15 And you and you would hang out there and play cards and have parties when you're bored of the year that jacket or Club of Coral Club Stardust God and so you just said you all had in is a guy one of us died. He still owes money for that check and see that would pay all guys do with old guy guys a little too funny women that came down there.

09:46 Girlfriends of the guys are whatever friends girlfriends dates, but the poker games for the big thing. They were here game called Peanut. Yeah, but I don't know special deck of cards. So let's talk about one of the time let's talk about your your family. What was talked about your mom? How would you describe your mother if you had to use a adjectives mother now, that's good. That's good. She was giving sacrificing through the years. I think I might have told you this but I don't remember eating with us. She was always taking the dishes away and watching them in.

10:40 Walking back and forth and serving and bringing the food. I guess she ate in between but it was

10:47 Always said that she was the caretaker and I had a younger brother me and the third brother which was my father must have been another baby. You know, they will like three children and she was the strong one.

11:05 And the way to get us upset is if she ever cried when she did very rarely cuz of the butt.

11:12 Do you remember any of those times? When did you my number one? I remember what the last time you cried a port son was moving out this 32 year old guy me with moving out and hang out of the bed and cried like a my father. He came to me and he said how you going to eat.

11:42 Like I would stop the desiccated that a woman that see he moved from his mother's into my mother's side started therapy then and I had to

11:57 I just felt that everyone else. I was probably the last guy to move out.

12:04 Okay, I didn't.

12:09 Live there very long because I got married shortly after a few months and I moved lived with my first wife and when that didn't work after a few months I moved out I move back home. Where do I always poop never something like that happen whenever I broke her leg, which happened to three. I moved back with mom and my father was the way up to my father yet. My father was a Distance by father went to the movies. He went to the movies at its peak five times a week in this with double features those days. I don't know where you found the fifth time. There was the low circuit and the rainforest circuit and they showed two different movies weekend movie in a Tuesday Wednesday Thursday movies that made for shows and he would go to all of them and he would ask him what he saw you as a Remembered in those days.

13:09 I went to the movies this way and I think he did too. Whenever you got the movie you went in didn't matter what it was on or not. You stayed around to add to the part where he came in though. They just kept you know, you didn't wait to tell you what time it started probably could have found out. I didn't think I don't know that yeah I said so and I always was I thought I was very peculiar and he wouldn't

13:39 Take can you didn't go with his wife is by what mother would play cards with a friend's omaja?

13:47 And then for a couple years Friday night to Adam went out and I remember one time.

13:54 I was so ready. Your teenager was mentioned going with them, but my brother was six and a half years younger than I am wanted to go and he's my father said no and he came back crying and I was just sad.

14:09 And then when I was an adult and I was with my father used to go on Sunday earlier and earlier since he started leaving 11 or 12 after he got up. He got to his mothers and visit he visit his mother every Sunday.

14:25 Yes, and then she went he went to the movies right from there and one day my first wife and I I don't think she was my wife yet. I don't remember. I went to Lower East Side and there he was with a man and a woman and he kind of introduced was a little awkward, but I don't know if the man in the woman with a couple of my father was a couple with the woman cuz my uncle recently within the last two or three years told me that my father was a womanizer.

15:01 I heart adult cheated on your mind. The one thing I do remember is he had a single friend was in the his industry, you know, he was

15:14 Through my younger years. He was a millinery hat block that he shape shape women's Fastpitch Woodworking and undershirt and very hot. Steam factory tahat factory. I was at Eminem. I don't remember where I remember the name of the company lamoureux's hat company landros had company and there was a guy there was a bachelor.

15:43 And he wants went off with it. Maybe more than once with this guy to Chicago. Why does one go to Chicago like for a weekend or an extended something or other and I do know that you would have went off. He went off like a single guy didn't take his his wife. She stayed home with us the children who need it at even when we were 32, right? So how what was your relationship to Father loves the things we did together was

16:18 Like once a year Coney Island and pricey a goat in Prospect Park. The only thing I remember doing

16:27 As a family the well, I like that. The other thing we did is Saturday night was special food night. Most of the time we came home and we brought in Jewish Style Delicatessen, pastrami corned beef done and bread mostly know but once in awhile, I get free other month we go to a Chinese restaurant to get in the four of us. That was the great day. I think that's why I love Chinese food to stay because of that neighborhood restaurant. There was no I think I started going to Chinatown as by myself as an adult.

17:11 And then there's my brother whom we haven't talked to God by brother.

17:18 We were too far apart in age when he was six and a half years young get it and he was a drag what I remember was during my teenage years. We used to hang out like you want to hang out with your friend and we said on the block of the corner and and my mother was always going off to play mahjong not grabbing. My father's in the movie. I was the babysitter but my mother said why you watch him just be safe. So check on them once in awhile. So I would hang out with the guys and drags and this is before if he was 8 Savers before TV. So the only type of thing I remember is he had his ass that his hair was always in his eyes. So when they took a seersucker jacket

18:17 The other thing I want to reminisce about is

18:23 Do you know about kissing games like spin the bottle other ones and

18:31 So-so post office, I guess it

18:36 Life friend will playing post office and buy house cuz my parents are the most liberal and we could come in and they were always gone anyway, and so one day my friend Milton who's had a profound influence in my life I've ever talked about him much was the postmaster and he and I know a guy and a girl were in the bed and he like that. It wasn't much sex those days. But he this guy whoever he was at the girl down in the bed he was

19:14 Kissing her and address rolled up. So he must have expose her panties. So Milton, who's the postmaster glad to look came out. He says I've seen the world and jumps and hits a couch the couch lights and brakes one of my mother's favorite Oriental vases and I had such a trouble your mom yells at you know, she didn't she was understanding but I was scared. You know what you would say. It looks

19:45 So your mom wasn't at home when I didn't play this game so broke. I don't know if I went into the details. So she was kind of a a good egg with that kind of thing some about breaking. Another thing was this a movie called The Jolson story came out in the 50s out of your baptism. Now JoJo was a biography about Jost and it was created while he was alive. It wasn't so he was actually singing the soundtrack.

20:24 I'm Jeff the sky Larry Parks was played him, you know anything so the style was because he was bumping mind was so all of a sudden out real soon became popular again. He had been a popular singer and comedian any kind of died away in this movie kind of brought him back and everyone had the wreckage. There was 78 RPM smells like and the thing was to imitate Al Jolson. So I got the album, I guess. I got the money I put together for $5 for the album and I bought it and we are playing it at my window in my room which face the front and my friend are Ernie and my friend Lenny Island dock just passed away. We work like imitating it to the music too, and they were doing mouthing it and doing what Al Jolson fast and they were trying to impress the girls who watching so 1

21:24 Is the other tank smash right on the album smashed all my records.

21:33 Yeah, I could I would swell I have peculiar problems with friends. I always felt they were doing me a favor by being my friend.

21:44 Somehow just to tell stock talk about melting melting talk about it over the years. He was with my friend and then he was the

21:59 The Jock the that's how much the athletic Jack but the good-looking guy all the popular popular guy and he pushed my friend so if so appreciative and one day there was a party at the next building at the attached I we lived in a two-story apartment there in a pot and attached was two other apartments and Evelyn had a party and she didn't invite me.

22:28 And I was devastated that mean that's cuz it reinforced the bad feelings. I had about myself and my body in my looks and everything and Milton came.

22:42 To the party. He says Wesley, so he rang my bell and I didn't have any Pride. I went to the party I happen to have on my suit pants my white shirt. All I had to do was put on it and I went to the party. I was just devastated about that all leaked to use today's turn. The Macho guys are invited but I was painful experience. Well, I think I should have said no.

23:18 Why you shouldn't take the the B. I don't want to be on the b list.

23:30 Well know before we get into that. I just want to quickly touch on I want to touch on memories of your grandparents to have any memories of your grandparents. They all the first one died when I was 20, so

23:49 By mothers

23:52 Parents who didn't get along with each other later if I stated that seven children I said, they didn't sleep together seven times Grandpa Max and grandma Becky or do I call to Grandma and Grandpa home mortgage, maybe Scheffler more Grandma shift with Grandma Morgan.

24:16 Grandpa Max slipped up in a cold room by himself that they live there, very poor that lived in an unheated apartment the house that they own and they rented one apartment, but there was an extra room that I have hot water or cold water flat seam lamp kerosene stove in Brooklyn. I don't know how they heated thing for my grandfather come over to our house to pay and he'd also come over to our house to get diabetes injections. My mother would give him diabetes injection. I didn't have any money. The only time he ever made money in my lifetime was during World War II to such a labor shortage. She was a night Watchman in the local place and he made $50 a week, which was fantastically a lot of money, but his wife hated image.

25:17 And I don't remember I don't think of him hating or if it gives up.

25:23 They came from Europe, but he came first and work.

25:31 Making cigars is a bunch maker in Scott for and then he bought a farm in Connecticut that when he accumulated enough money. He brought my at that time was by his wife. My mother was the oldest child make Sister Rose and an I think they're only three cuz I think Miranda was born in this country any prey brought the tragic picture that picture now, but that picture is that was taken after they got here.

26:05 And do they speak English very well know how sweet a little Yiddish right now is Facebook enough English my more sophisticated and the grandparents were married. First names were Sam Grandpa Sam. And the Cheese's I can't the old Jenny Jenny budget Grandma Jenny what one little anecdote was we're sitting on Stoops fighting outside talking to some of our neighbors and I said something about you know, my my father's 40 now.

26:45 And she'll bring me out later on toad. Say your father's age. Does that mean she's already?

26:54 So what did Zach Graham father do he was he was a tailor? I think you might have I think I might have been self-employed. I mean getting work for other people but I am sitting at the sewing machine in the house all the time and he they will spoke a little better English than they were married in this country. And my father was born in this country hits on the lower the chef was for born in the same country cuz they married there but money.

27:36 Grandfather was from

27:40 Austria and my grandmother's from Hungary, do you really you must have found out? Well, what's the neighborhood you had to take a trolley? Well depends on if we move closer to that Man Godfrey do much time. Well, mostly I was asking mom a lot about

28:10 Weddings and getting married because I'm engaged and I figured out that I'm 32 and I just got engaged and mom was 32 when she got engaged had realize that so and I've asked you these kinds of things before so we don't have to dwell on this stuff. But talk about your engagement. First of all, and you're with me.

28:36 Okay.

28:38 I'm at Mom and

28:41 Did Imam let's hear about Ella. Let's hear about your first one.

28:46 Ella was a friend and who became sort of a lover where we did things together, but I never really felt any great love for her, but they said ham and eggs. You said leonela and you did things we met the couple we were kids together sometimes even registering as mr. Mrs. Morgan Lander station.

29:18 And so did you propose to her or just got married? I don't remember that. It wasn't that it was like a week or two before we decide to get married on Christmas day of 1963 and the best breed her somehow that Frieda she worked as a a statistical type is for CPA's. I don't know if the if the field exists today because of computers but she would write, you know all the type up all over reports and she was very skilled and made a good salary of a sudden. She she married me. She quit I always wanted to teach children preschool and she started teaching preschool for like $50 a week instead of the $300 a week. So I could support and she had this crew of friends that would come over every night. I had to go to bed at 11. They would stay up all night or landlord would ya at the end?

30:18 She thought I guess having an affair with one of them and I didn't even know that. Well, the only time it was so bad that I broke up with her like in June or July and then I tried to get back together or Thanksgiving is that four-day weekend? We'll get together and so ghetto movie one night and the movie starts and she isn't there and she isn't that I walked up to the phone booth talking to her boyfriend. So that's it. And that was the longest living together. They live together till he died that lived in about 32 years without getting married and she was the one who loved children want to have children and she never had sugar. I broke up. I don't know we breathe while you were married. He was there he was there every night.

31:12 I didn't know that.

31:17 But that was the good part of my life. I was 32 and women are much more available to be be the guy Shy Guy couldn't get a date on a Saturday night and didn't have all of a sudden there were plenty of women around when you're in your early thirties, and I would date a lot. I dated a girl for like 5 years. I was dating a When I Met Your Mother

31:42 Barbara Wright and

31:45 Mom said so Mom at this party. Your brother has a smile that to this day may just melts me. You know, I can't turn around. She smiled at me. I was with a I had a date that they was going home. I tell you the story that normi Archer and what did add time off he was a teacher and I had some extra vacation. So we were going to stay that just during the week. We had enough women just going to hang out together the two of us and so we we stated I was a girl I was dating had had a a share in the house and the house shares were all the used weekend so we could rent it for $6 a night a person during the week Sunday and to pick up the keys and find out where the place was emitter on the beach. And so we heard about a 6 ish. Does that word mean anything to you at 6 if it's a party that starts around?

32:45 Pictures in East Hampton and so we all do you do you tell one person on the beach and it be 200 people at the party and this is one of those parties and so

32:58 Iris, I say goodbye to our ship a ride home was going I said find good. Goodbye. And then I turn around and this is your mother. She is really struck me and all of a sudden Irish comes back. She says, oh, I forgot to give you a call keys. I guess she had been driving my car. So so she hands me the ice. If I go go have a good trip. I was already talking to Mom and

33:29 Well, let's let's fast forward a bit because I know a lot of that story but when it did so you didn't actually proposed mom really want to get married in six weeks. We went back to the stamp that and do you know, the significant time story. I won't repeat it here too bad. You're not. If you give me extra time up healthy and I was just scared I had dated by wife 9 years and it didn't work out and I was and I dated Barbara for 5 years, so we couldn't agree on anything. I could I do something with this war, but I knew for 6 weeks, so we went to actually we could get married about six to seven weeks after that. We knew each other three months.

34:18 We got engaged when you're planning your wedding. I mean there wasn't a whole lot. You just had a small wedding write a big family and she had a small family and she had a lot of friends and I have less friends beside have friends. So we had 30 people in the end which Linda regrets because we're hardly friends except for maybe Judy and Terry over the hardly friends with any of these people. And so we had two small wedding. The only ones if I do my mother and father or mother and father, her grandmother was still alive a grandmother's companion outside of that. It was just friends.

35:03 Honeymoons great looks like a honeymoon should be it will we went to a Caribbean Island St. Maarten Dutch side, and it was just like I do it. It's beautiful. I love the Caribbean anyway.

35:20 So why don't you go and ask some more questions?

35:26 Too late to have a hit. Okay, one joke. I never I never knew what real happiness was till I got married and then it was too late.

35:41 All right, what just some up we have 5 minutes what well.

35:49 The process you're focusing on the process of getting married and Mom and I agreed that we didn't want to spend a lot of money or I'll make it big lavish thing. She never had an engagement ring.

36:04 Oh that was for my marriage.

36:08 I think the best advice and mom probably said this is to learn to fight fair.

36:16 Did she say that no fight fair and I waste don't don't say you're a shit say I don't like the way you leave your socks around. You don't get it the things that I don't know if that's a stupid thing, but maybe that's not a good analogy, but don't say you're filthy slob or something. Don't destroy the person and when you argue you just

36:41 Bfight farron say what you don't like about the person cuz remember that underlying love you have for each other and talk for me. I'm giving you the advice but I think and sometimes hard for me to do that.

37:02 That I didn't meet your mother sooner. It's one of them. Well, she said she would put it she wasn't ready until then had to get the search thing in my life. I think I regret Marrying an hour and I regret some career decisions I made which was I once got a great job that paid like the third one that was making I was livid working at the Young & rubicam then and I got this job at grey advertising and I should have taken it because the person did great that took the job the number to person they finally real elevated her and I went back to Young rubicam said that you know, I got this job offer and they gave me a little raised my salary to keep me on and I said, how could I leave the great Young & rubicam, but I sure that that's one who regrets

37:59 I have Korea what?

38:04 You mean through what I do more of less of eat less make

38:12 I never had anyone we should have an upbeat.

38:20 That I love you. I love you pooping. I think you know that I think there's no doubt in your mind how much I care. Oh, I'm going to have a terrible time at this wedding. I'm going to cry. I just know it.

38:33 I got a year cry now. I love your mother, and I love you sister, and I'm trying to love you, brother.

38:46 And you know, what was speaking I don't want to speak about regrets for a while just because it's a good thing. This retirement is great. I haven't had a coronary incident. So I need to speak since I retired then go home with so much stress. I am so happy to be retired and I'm really enjoying life and it'd be really shity if if my health deteriorates because I had such a wonderful time. I got bridge. I got your mother. I just wonderful. I have I never see snow up there in the summer and in Florida in the winter, and I just have a good good life now.

39:31 Question, how how do you want to be remembered years from now how when I have teenagers? What do you want me to tell them about Lee morgenlander bothering

39:46 Hopefully Grandpa and I really have so much love and and I guess the other regret that I didn't tell you that has to do with your brother and you know about it. So I don't think we have to talk about it or what I did wrong. I mean, I know I did wrong thing for when does it does it end? Does he start taking responsibility for our relationship a little I want to be down as a bridge player. I really love love the fact that I'm a bridge life master and a skilled at something that might exceed at I may not be the best but I'm pretty damn good at it. I love it. That's part of my retirement. It's a wonderful. I hardly paid played for the 30 for the 25 years that we were raising you and your siblings and I just love it and I'm having a great time with that.

40:43 I don't know. I'm glad I Met Your Mother and

40:49 I'm glad I have you children all three of you. I love you all.

40:56 Okay, we can try one more joke one more time for the library Congress jokes.

41:11 I'll tell Barbara. Dyslexia jokes. Do you know what the m stands for Mothers Against dyslexia for dyslexics in the world? I have time to tell a joke about the guy who comes into a bar with a paper bag and he opens the paper bag and he says

41:38 I pulled out a piano and a little man playing the piano and the guy says what how'd you get to see what you see the spot hole in it. The only problem is

41:52 He's hard of hearing.

41:55 He said but he may let me try. Let me see if he takes the jar and rubs it and the genie appears is what is your command and the thought I'd like a million bucks and all of a sudden. It's a billion Ducks coming down to the Flying all around you think I had I asked for a 12-inch pianist.

42:25 Who's awesome?