Steven Hennig and Marilyn Hennig

00:05 Write, this is Steven Hennig. I'm age 58. We're in Yuma Arizona on Friday December 20th, 2019. And today I'm talking with Marilyn Hennig, who is my mom.

00:21 Yes, my name is Marilyn Hennig. My age is 86. I'm enjoying Yuma Arizona on Friday December 20th, 2019.

00:34 And the name of my interviewer is my son Steven.

00:42 Okay, so so we're in Yuma Arizona and you spent part of your childhood here. So it started when at what age do we actually I went to the first grade first here and I completed High School in 1950 first grade through high school and and before that you would mention. What is what is the town in Arizona Bowie Arizona to Bowie for a number of probably only about two or three years, I guess because then he was relocated to Yuma right now. Dad was not really part of your life. Now that all you've barely saw him fairly and so-so predominately. It was it was your mom raising you.

01:42 Play completely annihilate his but you were born actually in Eugene, Oregon, right? Can you were there for me? Like you're thinking like one or two year at probably we let my select flight when I was about two years old and headed to Bowie Arizona Yuma. Yeah sort of like that. Oh buoy was fun though at that time. They were nothing but dirt streets and

02:16 The animals that were wondering up and down the streets were called. Guess what? No, no, but one of these animals we had a fenced yard and so we up is a burro and he drove the burrow into our fence yard into two or three of us kids in the neighborhood got on his back and rode him around in the fence charger. That was the one wild. Well, they wandered up and down the streets and so they don't know maybe they were begging food places. I'd have no idea but they is is just a burro country over there into Arizona who knew so

03:16 So I think the one in things is interesting to me is as I look back and like with my kids. It's always interesting to me what they remember and what they don't remember because they will remember things that you know, it did seem so insignificant to me but to them was a big deal. It's just you just never know. So is there is there things that occur to you from Mike early on that really stand out is as like memories that that had an impact like that just like things that occur to you this stuff about Bowie or work or early early and Yuma go that far back know what came to mind was a day in England about that. That's a long time and in the future in Bowie. Of course, I was the only kid my mother I went with my mother everywhere to the lady Jade and all the one that I want.

04:16 Ladies sometimes have to have meetings men's have meetings to some talking about who knows what they were. So at Thanksgiving time. They had a turkey and they had every single person there. Guess the weight of the turkey including me at age 4 or whatever. That was then and I won the agent and see who knew that you knew how to get perky wait to eat. Then. All went to you mine and all my school years there now, I remember speaking about Yuma. Why was it you were at 4th Ave. Right 4th Ave was a junior high at the time. Is that what it was 7 and 8.

05:16 So one of the things that always got me cuz you had you had told us about this was that the way they kind of segregated black kids at the time. What was the Fourth Avenue Q school is what three or four stories high three, right? Yes, and there is a basement that the black children were were taught in. So this is just great school or you're thinking this is 678.

05:48 Probably as as late as the 8th grade, I believe and so they if there was presumably then it will be like grade school through that time at least and then but they actually had if you were black you were taught in the basement. So how did that appear to you at the time? I mean, what did you think about that? Did you give it a second? Thought it was it just the way it was one of those particular people gentleman with a very high IQ and it was taught that way when we graduated and went to high school. He would meet Lee became captain of the football team.

06:39 Oh, okay. So no more segregation at her High School. Everybody was altogether and and they could be held in high esteem, but not not and operates anymore. All of a sudden that it makes me wonder how long that actually continued then it stopped at some point cuz they're no longer doing that. But you know you like when you were in middle school that was going on. It just makes me wonder how long it it kept going because you know, if it changes when you get to high school, how long did they keep the lower-grade? That would be a good question because there's no way to know when you're in high school. You're only there and not looking back.

07:24 So I know that you're going up in kids is going to like that that's hurting. I remember hearing that story yet at some point. I don't remember it was but when we were going up, there was no ever we had I don't recall ever hearing mention of race at all growing up. It was like never even something that was a consideration before you were born in Selma Alabama, which was pretty much segregated at that time. I believe because if they created that March over the picture of the date of of the market, but this was 55, right and so we while we were only there how long were there so I was born in 61 and we were there for a couple years through all three of you children were good alabamians, and so right after your dad got back from Goose Bay the first year we were married we went to

08:24 A couple months in Enid out Oklahoma, and then we went to know you guys were living in Enid dies in the Air Force the Air Force sent him there and then the Air Force sending to Selma Alabama the base there. That's where you started having kids while I was pregnant, but we have had a good obstetrician there for you three children on very good and I of the other thing. I remember I'm just about Alabama was something that that Dad had said was set when you were you were driving into town. They had billboard signs for the KKK and and he thought that that was just he thought it was really strange that you would have that we hope we talk to the KKK was something of the long path but back in the 18 hundreds are some I don't know what we thought but we didn't.

09:24 It was a surprise to us still alive and well right when when the whole Civil Rights Movement was going on and it's kind of I don't know. It's just kind of interesting to see how that works in hell and it was you just broke out so they had to if there is

09:45 Water fountains is a public place. There was a colored one and a white one have the thing with the basement, you know the basement we didn't segregate any drinking fountains or have a a black entrance into the movie theater that was there.

10:11 I'm crazy. Yeah, it was.

10:16 So we we had we had talked about like that. It was your mom and raise you this whole time to out and and that was kind of unique because she was essentially a single mom at the time but also she had degrees she had a degree in biology bacteriology the U of Washington.

10:53 Were you aware that that that situation was a little bit unique I mean most of the kids had had dad's in the will there be will there be like father-daughter dances and stuff like that that you were I don't know what I call it and I do not recall. I know I slept over at girlfriend's house. Is that all I had a father and mother but I didn't think too much of it because I have been so long with just a mother and almost no father since I could remember whenever it never occurred. She was like you were in your missing out on something. No.

11:31 My mother did it all and and then we had to I know that you have mentioned that.

11:41 That you got along with your mom. Great. What did you ever have like any big disagreements? Cuz usually I mean usually there's going to be something a kid disagrees with their parents are they want to do something. They're not allowed to they understanding and you're telling the parent that you just don't understand but nothing nothing like that that you recall ever came up with your mom. There is somebody either her or me or both of us that was very easy to get along with she was she was super easy to get along with she was always very thoughtful and very giving and very dependable very comfortable to live with

12:23 Well, that's that's that's actually pretty neat. So do you think that the way

12:30 She was towards you the way she treated you and raised you affected how you then treated your kids?

12:41 All right, that's perhaps perhaps a lot a lot of gentleness and kindness wears off very kind and giving and gentle and and I think I think I probably was that way with our children to just just

13:02 Everything went smoothly very very smooth. I can't think of any real bumpy roads in my life ever ever.

13:14 Well that that's kind of neat and I don't remember any problems growing up or anything like that that it would say before this happened and that that made me really mad at took me years to get over that or anything like that. They don't seem like there's anything and it's just I don't know what kind of interest me how that that comes about if it was if you felt like maybe your mom kind of

13:40 I brought that about in you worth if you saw the way she was but you're but I'm I'm guessing that it was more like you you didn't really give that particular thought that maybe that's just the way it was an easy life. Very easy in my entire life has never changed. I've been very fortunate. I can't think who could be more fortunate than I have been all my life. I was thinking maybe it was me your nose. I just hope people just recently like we talked about stuff there that I'm doing and music and and work and family and all that that you know, I wouldn't trade places with anybody and you're a big very big portion of my life a very happy person. Well, so so

14:38 Dumb you're so I think we maybe look at influence a little little bit differently or at least likely like in your case. You didn't necessarily consciously think about what your mom was doing and how that would affect how you treat others or something like that. I don't I don't think so. But I've looked at it like the way I was raised and and like dad's influence in your influence. And I think what I got from you was really I'm you were always saying I owe you can do that. You would be good at that. Like if if I was making some arguing about something I should be able to do this because of this in this you would say all you know, you'd be a good lawyer because you can do these you know, and but but it was always like that of me was always something would come up or whatever is Holy.

15:38 Who did that really? Well, you'd be good at this you did you could be that and it just in our van about this is It's always giving me the impression that I can do. Whatever I need to know why my mother told me the same thing. She said Maryland you can be anything you want to be in your life. And I think that that could pass on to yes, you just you just go after your dreams thinking that way at least a cruise to you that you have that possibility that you can you can you can try at to do things that you don't feel like, you know, cuz I think a lot of people get in a can be put down like you're no good at that. Why are you doing that? You know or bad or whatever, you know, like or if if you compare one child to another wall. Your sister was really good at this and you know how to tap that sort of thing that happens.

16:36 Not that I'm aware of in our family, but for for me, that's just you two fact and and I have told my kids the same thing. It's like, you know, the the same the same thing occurs like they that helps in that way. I mean, I mean they seem to be doing well so far so nice to ask that you ate the positive. There's a song about that eliminate the negative you sing that song.

17:24 But anyway, I think I think that that that's where thing. I don't know. It's kind of interesting and I can see that you're your mom's influence on you and your influence on me and says, unto my kids gone. I don't think it's a really really important thing. I know big picture kind of thing. I have have that in your life. I really appreciate it. I appreciate you. So at some point you were here in Yuma and you got a got set up on a date with my dad with with dad my dad but Dad just at a coffee shop is at a hotel. I got to see that spot. Cuz when I was 4 I was coming to visit you guys when you head moved back here at some point. It was the

18:24 Stardust Hotel to speak before that was so you get introduced in your together. So what What attracted you to him? His is as demeanor is interest his

18:48 His looks he was quite handsome looking guy and he was joyful and son. He's always been joyful, and he continues to eat.

19:03 And I just I got acquainted with him real fast. I mean I was hoping for another date and yet I had a date then following up. So he asked you out on a date there already had one then so you had to tell him that no, I've got a date. It was my birthday and he sent me a dozen red roses for my birthday, even though I am so that made an impression very much so

19:34 I'm so as time goes on I mean, you know, like when you have the attraction stuff like that and then you've how long before you got married. How long does it take we met on September 26th, and we were married on February 17th. Good Lord.

19:55 Not only about a long engagement.

20:01 And so but then, you know you start to have to then deal with real-world stuff. I mean, you've got you know, you've got bills and you got stuff and so how I mean is that just an easy process or how did that work out? His pay was adequate to buy us a house in Selma.

20:25 He had trouble with the the loan agency. They didn't think that that's at the US Air Force produced reliable people there for a while. Alone and we moved into our first house.

20:42 But bad all all that stuff like that dealing with stuff making decisions because we have been in agreement so much as very very seldom that you can find that we would disagree about something and we just went along daily happily ever after you but I never remember anybody yelling at anybody ever ever ever remember it was it was high school before I went to somebody's house and he went he yelled at his mom that was

21:32 I mean I couldn't conceive of that happened and it was but it happens. That's one. Another thing is that you know, like you live a certain life, but you find out that there's very very different things out the ass the whole world out there can be different if we had a enjoyable life. It's been very enjoyable.

21:59 Some little niches somewhere and making a move while the worst move was making a move from Green Valley to Tucson because we had collected so many things that we are living in such a big house. What about from Yuma to Green Valley? So Green Valley Senior Living in Yuma for a while and then my mother died and then we traveled around the country in our RV for a while. So you were all good with that move and getting rid of all your stuff. We did have a sale and auction. Did not bother you at all. It seems like led me to give me it was very difficult because

22:47 A lot of things that I held precious where souls and I didn't fight it enough at that time. And I've always been sorry that the only things bad I could think of was selling that house the things that you don't want some of those things so ended up with me. There's a few things on we've got the piano. I know that I used to this day and the bar a little bar that came from Denmark the big chested your dad built that signore for you amazing. I mean, he did it to match another piece of furniture and it's just absolutely beautiful. I mean everything cuz it's not Square edges or anything like that everything this curved and and just beautiful. I need to this day. It's it's awesome.

23:47 There is a big thrift shop at the base that he did all his work at a time. So you have to give up stuff couple times because you did the same thing like you're saying from moving from Green Valley to Tucson. Is there so many ways to go with it. We needed to give people this and we needed to have a sale and estate sale. We needed to put things into storage until we can move into our new house there was about four different ways that all our stuff had to go and it got done it was fine and to the extent that it kind of bothered you to give up stuff you you became I think you've mentioned to me that you consider yourself a dab.

24:47 Yes, I'm adaptable adoptable adaptable and so things like that happen or something that that you have to deal with but you've you feel like that you have either become or always were adaptable. I got I always thought since you had built such a beautiful horse in Green Valley. I love that house. I know me too. I just loved it. And as soon as it was done, I said Dale they're going to have to carry me out feet first. I'm always staying here. But then we finally I figured out we're getting older we can't stay there. Anyway, I thought I was going to cry as we left.

25:31 And I didn't know you felt like it.

25:35 I was told like it ahead of time we made we were going to a new place. I was going to be exciting to move into this new place that we had both decided on and and thought it was nice. That's the place you ended up with where you are now, right and so I wasn't all sad about leaving for some reason.

26:04 I just thought I worked maybe you actually are adaptable in that way like yours somehow you're able to put it behind you in and be okay with accepting love to drive a car. I put that behind me when I found out at one time that I could no longer Drive. I thought I was going to be really really sad about that too. But not so is it brand new world is a new page and

26:33 Let's be interested in what we're doing now and not look so much into the past, you know and enjoying life in general is that you that you're able to let stuff go and accept what happened, you know, cuz a lot of people, you know, like they put something behind them, but they still resents that I happened to anybody doing that you can keep it with you and yours have like that kind of has but if you're actually able to accept it and adapt to your new situation then it's okay. I think you are much better off makes a happier person out of you. And so I know that that is fairly similar cuz we we talked about that a different different things have come up with him. So maybe maybe that's just another thing that you guys share that you think so I think probably sell a little bit of easygoingness.

27:28 So so there was a year that he was in Vietnam. How is that a year apart? So you felt better because somebody else was there other than the kids I think so. Yes. Yes. And so were you particularly worried worried, you know what's going on over there and I look so look forward to his low recordings. He gave me a little so did those we received those how often did you receive them? And those who submit recordings to remember hearing something that you would send him One Step Brothers on the radio in hours? Yeah. So what did what did it when you get a tape from from here?

28:28 In return does that does that?

28:33 I don't know. Does that does that make you sad and worried more do you miss him more how it or does it just very comforting?

28:41 And neither one I think because missing him it was an everyday thing and not not exactly more when you receive at a Bible that was good to hear his voice that was nice about stuff that was going on so that he was doing stuff like that cuz I know he lost people that he knew he had other did you let you know about stuff like that free gems no money did not let you know about that. That's why the village well, we're going out tomorrow and we're going to

29:22 B i agent me about you know, everything that we're doing a mission or whatever. I just like it was just another day or like he's always been calm impractical we getting the information. That way was probably a good thing. And what about later when he got back to the kind of tell you about the stuff that he had been through and different things and and that was interest is just fabulously interesting in and we enjoyed it at you know, he going back and forth at the time and it was it was great. So great to have him back.

30:15 And then well, yeah, but that's the thing. I mean that I think that he probably handle it very well and then also he's able to once he's back to kind of let you know what actually happened and what was going on so he had me fly to Tokyo or I was there for a week, I believe and he had a week off to meet me in Tokyo and we ran around Tokyo to Osaka in all different all the pagodas and stuff like that. And then the next time he flew to Hawaii is did I and we had a week there so that whole 30 365 days was divided up into two separate segments.

31:14 Right here between the year. So you had you had two trips during that time to chaps now, so it's divided into thirds apart. Are you?

31:29 It was very good. It was good of him to do that. And when he was sent to Goose Bay, he arranged through the the powers that be there for us to have a little cottage to live in for a week while I was there and he was told that if any of the natives there and in Goose Bay got married that they were going to have to have that Cottage but he have it and then nobody got married and so we were there for a whole week and and you know cooking for ourselves didn't have to stay in the hotel room like another couple did that it was there the same time that we know of cuz it's very thoughtful that way.

32:21 So let's hear Adele had brought something up about you like being a military wife that we have heard Mike over the past. However, many years like lots of years with military wives and it may be the way it's reported her stuff or something like that, but it's not as prevalent as it seems but it seems like a lot of them complain a lot about like my husband's gone. And why does he have to be gone and stuff like this and be on the news and stuff like that are kind of almost seeming complaining and then she sang I just can't ever picture your mom being like that. And I think she's right. I don't think I was like that when I wonder if it's if it's if it's generational like a what about the you in comparison to other military wives at the time you feel I've heard them complain generation with more of like an individual thinks I'm somewhere more accepting and and

33:21 Selma their lives and tried to make them interesting while they're gone. While husbands are gone and others are just really bad about it. That would be kind of what I guess anticipate is that it's not necessarily that one generation is tickly different but maybe nowadays maybe the more negative aspects get reported more of that sort of thing. Maybe it seems like people are more unhappy these days there more mad when things like that right? Yes, but you know, it's like with social media there so much on there. That's so awful. I don't know if you if you spend any time looking at me, but there's a lot of awful stuff on there. However, I think it's it's kind of a good to remember that the people that are doing that do not represent a large majority of people at the people that actually feel like complaining and having your voice heard.

34:21 We have the Fallout that they don't like you or whatever is going on. Like if you go to a restaurant and who you hear from is the one that's going to complain, you know, like if you enjoyed it. It was just like like we were just over at at Lutes Casino perfectly nice and we didn't stop by anybody and say by the way, this was really great, but people tend to if something's bad and they won't complain about that. It's just like the newspapers and that on the air bad news sells. Good morning. So much. There's not nothing to listen to it. That's interesting about good news. Apparently that's always been the case, but I think it's so much more prevalent. Yes. I will certainly are a lot more like no 65 Buick.

35:16 50 years ago something like that. Well your dad and I've been married 62 years remember going to the the 60th party that you had their I remember going to Dad's father's 50th anniversary to remember that. I'm still have that somewhere. Probably you probably have a lot of albums a lot of albums or is it just kind of not too much sometimes? Yes, if the if the album is hand and not up there on the top of the roof like that built shelves. We don't have a lot of room in that house has a lot of shelves in the closet to put stuff like that. So albums are crowded up there. You have to get a ladder to get it to him. So you don't see them very often just the Windsor.

36:16 Close by so it's a matter of convenience or not convenience whether or not you look at something. But anyway real pleasure getting to talk to you in and let him know that I really appreciate the way you've been thank you. I do appreciate you the way you've been you're a jewel you want and roll one out of many.

36:51 Say what's in my heart.