Susan Lust and Alexander Tressor

Recorded July 16, 2021 Archived July 16, 2021 41:46 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: ddv001015

Description

Friends and colleagues, Alexander "Alex" Tressor (62) and Susan Lust (68) talk about their shared love of dance, their experience helping people with Parkinson's and Alex's personal experience of resilience living with the disease.

Subject Log / Time Code

Susan asks Alex about his childhood growing up in Moscow, Russia.
Alex talks about a method he’s found for people with Parkinson’s to refocus energy from tremors, and how it’s helped greatly with his own Parkinson’s.
Susan asks Alex about his experience with medication, especially to treat the non-motor symptoms of Parkinson's.
Alex reflects on how his sense of humor has always helped him through life and its challenges.
Alex talks about his mental and physical discipline that help his experience living with Parkinson's.
Susan shares a sweet memory with Alex and his young daughter.
Alex gives advice for those newly diagnosed with Parkinson's.

Participants

  • Susan Lust
  • Alexander Tressor

Partnership

Partnership Type

Fee for Service

Transcript

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00:06 Hi, Liam, Alexander tressor dates, July 16th, 2021 age.

00:14 I can't count that high, but it's 62. I think location Earth. They were my associates and partner-in-crime is Susan. Lust with him. I'll be speaking in the moment.

00:28 Okay, my name is Susan. Lust today is July 16th. I'm I'm

00:37 I'm older to 68 to be exact. I'm in Rockland County, New York, and I met Alex a couple of years ago over the internet.

00:54 And that's the first question. Okay. How did I meet you? I met you because I was starting to teach dance and movement to people with Parkinson's disease. And I was looking for people who also did the same thing, and I was looking for other teachers. And what was very funny is why I wanted to reach out to you. Alex is because I saw a video of you washing your dog, a Schnauzer, and it was the most, I'm an animal lover. And when I saw you giving a bath to your

01:31 Schnauzer. I thought I have to meet this guy, so I thought he has a great sense of humor, and I want to get to know him. And that's, that's what I told you, or I reach out to you or I emailed you or something. So, thanks.

01:57 It's ridiculous because that's the most popular video that I have on YouTube and I put it there for no reason whatsoever. I don't even know why I did it. It must be so hot in New York and I was so bored that I recorded it. And sure long behold that we're helping people with Parkinson's,

02:15 Exactly. That's crazy.

02:21 Yeah, so where, where were you, born?

02:26 In Moscow, Soviet Russia 1959. What do boarding school traveled before the 8th with the circus? With my mom who is a juggler and so are you and you have to have education whether your parents wanted or not. I couldn't travel with my mom. I would love to travel with my mom All Those Years War, but I had to be in school and get my red inspired education.

02:55 And then prior to graduation, they decided to both to America. So we ended up in New York in 1976 Bicentennial Year and that started the whole craziness, you know, life started all over again for me at the age of 16.

03:16 So, you came here, not speaking English, at all. Really. I started, I started learning English in Rome. When we were waiting, our visa to get to the United States. And I had an incredible teacher, who had the probably one of the biggest impact on me of all the disciplines I've ever learned. This man, taught me how to speak English in 3 months.

03:41 Wow, why why do you think he had such a great impact will because compared to are very strict in the regiment is so good education. He brought in a guitar. We sang Beatles song. We talked, you never loved dictionaries. It was a free-for-all exchange of just Energy's and they're translated into being able to speak English. I don't know how he did it. But when we landed at JFK, I was able to converse with the cab driver. I could tell him where we needed to go. In other words. I was having a conversation. I had eight years of French and I couldn't formulate a sentence.

04:19 That is amazing. You know why you're telling me about that. I'm realizing you had this great Italian. I mean, Italian teacher teaching you English. And the way he did it, sometimes I think that's the way you are cheaper, because you bringing so many different aspects to movement. You want to talk about a little bit worried about what I'm going to do. Next is the teacher. I want him to be. Joyful about what we're doing this very second. In other words. If you remove the Warriors, having to memorize have it to you, no, listen to Dick stations or teacher becomes the focal point of everything that's going off. Now, it's about the students. And all I'm doing is just inspiring the best. I can. That's all my job is to provide good content and just be joyful with them. And if I can do that, it's a success.

05:18 That reminds me of one of your other videos that I think is stellar, and that is the one about gate and walking and using a tennis ball. You want to explain that a little bit. Well, Parkinson's is something that takes so much focus and it takes Focus away from our lives.

05:39 And if you can redirect that pathway, the damaged nerve pathway that doesn't reach her legs. That doesn't reach her arms and refocus it. So if you put a tennis ball in your hand and you just squeeze that and all the sudden park assist has no place to go because it's not focusing on the affected arm or a leg or Nick know because it is so many different parts of the body. So once you redirect that signal you can achieve incredible results, you can walk. Normally you can get rid of that lag in your legs, are your gate is improved and it's just simple things like that. And I've been working with now for a while and their ways that you can make Parkinson's, just go or wait for. Of time and it's a great thing.

06:29 I think that's why everybody loves you as a teacher because you're experiencing it yourself there, any of the your experiences with some of your students spend and how you're connecting with them. And will I tell them exactly what they should expect and how you can work around today. I talk to my students about downtime when the bills start wearing down and you go through this lag where you become slow things slow down so I can walk you through pea soup in a flush, but the thing is, you don't have to have down time because we have medications to help us. You just have to take it on time. Take it with the right food or no food and be prepared, you know, to exercise, and do all the right things you have to do throughout the day. So your downtime can be reduced to almost nothing.

07:26 I hardly have a downtime and I've had Parkinson's help or at least since the diagnosis for 16 years.

07:36 Amazing. Is that because

07:38 On schedule.

07:40 Of course, I don't do anything without it. Scheduled. You know, I'm like, the KGB deliver everything to Putin and then I can go to sleep.

07:57 That's funny.

07:58 Okay, wait a second. So you have to talk about medication. You didn't just arrive there and it was perfect. You went through a whole process of getting that past expiry. Yeah, the problem with, with the disease of the doctor's approach to it is that they throw medications. Are you in a rapid succession, the moment you start feeling worse and it's a progressive disease. So, you know, you're supposed to start feeling worse and worse and worse. And they

08:41 You become like a test. Bet you do, try this medication. Try that medication. And of course, all of them have a Litany of side effects my along, which you're not going to go through. Because first of all, nobody can read the small screw at all.

08:57 It's too small, you know, you have to, you can cure Parkinson's, but then you'll be blocked. You know, if you read the small print of all this medication, so I don't know anybody who reads all of them, but then a few months later, you find out that you lost $20,000 by creating a bicycle store in your living room or you're standing naked in Atlantic City because you just lost all your savings on that slot machine. And all of that is written in the side effect.

09:30 What? You didn't know any of that. I didn't know.

09:34 Serious.

09:37 The bicycle store know I was I was trying to I was trying to invent the best bicycle. No to me because I couldn't walk very well. So I had to get around on the bicycle and it wouldn't let me take him bicycle anywhere. So I have to find a folding bicycle. Then. I have to find them back to hide the folding bicycle so I can take it with me.

09:58 And this is what happens because I will tell people, you know, this is my wheelchair because I have Parkinson's they said get them out of here wheelchair, wheelchair has four wheels, and it's called a bicycle, but it's helping me. Nobody would even listen to me.

10:16 And I lived in Manhattan. You can bring a bicycle to any office in Manhattan.

10:23 And they don't care whether you walk with a limp or the Parkinson's or Alzheimer's, they just don't care.

10:30 So were you obsessed with this? Would you say well, I only found out when I finally had a big lie to realize that I'm doing something really, really wrong. Something is not me anymore. You know, I did find the perfect bicycle. I found five of them. So I have to give them away to my friends because what the hell I'm going to do with all of them for my credit card swelled up and I both know this is not right. This is not me. So I asked and the family doctor said. Oh, yeah, it's both extreme Hobbies. I said, you know, you could have told me that a year ago.

11:08 So it was the dollars on bicycles and you filled up your living room with.

11:15 The bicycle.

11:17 Yeah, year, before you ask your doctor.

11:22 I thought I was just you know, I was trying to find a bride bicycle for me in the folding bicycle seem like something that's Turkish people, right? You know, it didn't seem like anything that I'm normal adult with right, but finally, I realize they're so well made and so, you know actually helpful.

11:40 So I just started fooling this system up with my bicycle in the back and I can go anywhere.

11:46 So what did your doctor say when you told him this?

11:51 I've got, you know, it's not much really. She said, you sure. You don't want to take this medication. I said, it's driving me nuts. How can I keep taking this medication? I'm a lunatic.

12:03 And then I just stopped, I just stopped and the Never never took it again.

12:09 What about the bicycle?

12:12 Well, my friends, love them. I kept, I kept the best couple of bikes that I had and I ride them and I love them and you know certainly saved my life not having to walk everywhere because it is difficult with Parkinson's walk. The walking.

12:30 Well, at least you're

12:34 Your obsession was with bicycles. It's not such a, it's kind of a positive thing as opposed to negative thing. Radio fully close is so, you know, because the next that would be ready with naked and there will be a whole other conversation.

12:56 I've seen those people in New York to your laughing. I see people in Central Park, riding around naked.

13:04 They probably have Parkinson who had the biggest influence on you in your life.

13:21 Well, he has, it has to be my mom because she was not only just

13:28 Just the most.

13:31 Incredible person as far as humor and she had a gift of life. She was very good-looking. I knew that from an early age. So I had my biological father until a two-and-a-half or three that I have my first stepfather from 3 to 10 and then I had the my second step father, who left Russia with, who was the star in the Bull Street Theater in Moscow ballet dancer. And she gave me three incredible fathers and she loved all of them and they love her.

14:08 And I knew I could see it and her sense of humor. Her mom. Just love of life and just an incredible.

14:20 You think your sense of humor helps you with Parkinson's?

14:24 I think it helps you with everything, but I used to think that I'm just like to joke around because I, I don't want people to know that I'm actually lost in America. Its first, you know, because it was such a volatile. To land in America, the age of 16, barely speaking English, and trying to make sense of what to do, where you are. Where do you go? And nobody actually tells you anything, because everybody has his freedom to express as long as it's, not something specific.

14:56 I didn't get that because, you know, people just so happy to be in your company. Nobody sits you down. As they look, you're sixteen years old. You just arrived from communist country. This is capitalism. You should learn a thing or two about where you are and what you going to do and some of the things to look out for, I never had that conversation. So everything I have learned, I learned from enrolling until Valley school and making friends.

15:29 And I did it only because I was so afraid.

15:34 How did you get into your? How did you become a dancer?

15:38 Well, it's it, it's his part lunacy part idiocy of because I mean my stepfather second stepfather is a prominent Valley master? Who got a job in New York City Ballet in school and the company. So we had didn't have to worry about money, which was it, you know, if there's a lottery to be one after arriving in America, that's one that's lottery. Number one. We were set, and I have to chaperone him because she really didn't speak English. I had to make sure he gets to school on time to teach and we get home on time. So and I realize that how long can I possibly do this? Because it doesn't look like this man was going to ever learn how to speak English or be able to travel by himself email and it's understandable because when you spend your life time, in Soviet Union, with a party in the people are one and everything is provided for you in minimum amounts by the government, you know.

16:38 How to think?

16:41 And he was,

16:47 Yes, well, she was a dancer in Moscow, but when we left, he switch to a teacher.

16:54 And he was the best Valley teacher I've ever seen. Nolan. Do what I said, I want to start taking ballet classes have never danced in my life. I was hockey, and the soccer player. I never studied, I watch Valley because there was nothing else on TV and the girls were cute. So that you have a long torso short legs, but not a ballet dancer. I mean, in Android, he said that, you know, you're crazy because first of all, people starts at the age of 5 7, maybe the boys start a little later than the girls. You have to have certain facilities like long legs and you know the right speed and physical.

17:49 Categories that don't apply to normal people. I mean you almost have to be superhuman and I have none of them. I had musicality and I had incredible coordination.

18:00 And somehow he said, well, if you want to dance, I have to get you in the living room because then nobody's going to look at you in the ballet school and he transformed me in the in several months, you know, that I was able to get it to school and a year-and-a-half later. I landed a job in the Swedish Ballet Company.

18:22 I know it sounds it sounds like the fantasy.

18:29 Yes, wow, he must have been amazing or she was she was. She was all into somebody who dances.

18:45 Wow, so then you love dancing is that that you fell in love with it or I love the fact that I can make friends that I was able to communicate that I was out of Queens where we were living for first year and a half. I found this a beautiful apartment in Manhattan. I love all of that and everything else was really not that important. Of course. I wanted to become a good dancer. Everybody did in that school, is the biggest school in America. The most famous one of all, and, but it was my

19:23 Need a longing to be with a bunch of kids. My age. Do you know? The problem was, is that in Russia? I had nine years of boarding school. So I was used to company of France.

19:35 And in America, all of a sudden, I know no one.

19:39 So, that craziness some of my thinking, which star will look at these people boys. The girls. They're laughing their happy. I didn't even think that Valley was difficult or that I was wrong for. I just wanted to

19:53 Wow. Yeah, so it was a mate wanting to make a connection.

20:00 Well, you're a beautiful answer. I mean, it's either either you have natural ability or your, your stepfather was an amazing. Teacher was born with the crazy ability to mimic, whatever steps. I see. I could pick up the tennis racket and play as if I played my whole life and it'll be my first game.

20:23 It just called. I put something in your brain happens when you can have this coordination. And I use it to this day to full Parkinson's, because the moment Parkinson starts to screw around with me. I tell it to go. It's because I know the way around the neural Pathways how to navigate it.

20:44 So, how would you say? And that's why, you're a great teacher because you're able to share that with other people.

20:51 Well, it's a gift. I have to say it's a gift that I I finally was able to explore it to its full potential because if I never gotten Parkinson's, I wouldn't even know it. I wouldn't even never crossed my mind.

21:05 And to me, it is a chess game between me and Parkinson's.

21:10 So, what happens, give me an example of what happens if the Parkinson's Creeps in and then what do you do? As a dancer to talk on it during class? When I teach all these classes. Now, during the week, I could have side effects of Parkinsons, you know, the Tremors, the slowness in Balance, but the thing is if you keep saying that in class, make sure your fingers have the in the all the energy, you can give it another words, don't collapse your hands but push through it. Because the action of having to sustain this very tight, feel with your fingers gets rid of the Tremor immediately.

21:56 You wouldn't know it unless you, unless you actually came up with it and then studied it, which I did. I just look at my body and seeing why is my right leg slower? Why is my tremors so pronounce? And then all the sudden, if I think about it, it disappears or if I tighten my head, the Tremor goes away and you know, so all these things you accumulate this knowledge, but then you have to distill it into what would work for group of people you never met. So the class that I teach is

22:30 No, go on the class of you to stay in the class that I teach you. The combination of what really is needed for person with Parkinson's to reactivate the body to wake up. The muscle groups that have been dormant. I mean, most people with Parkinson's, we have, we will they will have neuropathy atrophy and all these things only because they think it's an inevitable part of the Parkinson's progression. What they fail to understand is that, if you use those muscle groups, if you force yourself to use those muscle groups, they don't have to lay dormant. They don't have to be in that. It's right there. You should do series of squats, your legs will move. You shoot your fingers instead of this slowly. Moving in slow. Mo that will not help you have to force the signal to get to where it's supposed to go and buy signal. I mean nursing

23:27 That is amazing because you have to think like a dancer with Parkinson's, you almost have to think like a dancer and you have that skill, but it's very hard for people who don't have that background. You're blessed to have that. Well, this is why I try so hard to be reported on the as many people as possible. There are ways to dealing with Parkinson's because you don't have to be debilitating by it to the point where you just lost all interest in life and you just basically

24:02 Like a vegetable, unfortunately.

24:07 Do most people read?

24:11 Sorry, go ahead.

24:16 I was going to say,

24:19 Life has changed for the better because of Parkinsons.

24:23 Well, you know, it's hard to neglect the fact that this purpose landed on my lap.

24:32 Who are these weird circumstances? I don't want but for god sakes, nobody does.

24:39 But what it did, it actually taught me that there's so much more I can do to make my life complete. I don't want to be reduced to be physically, a person who's just imploded onto himself because of Parkinsons. That's what it is. Is like a gigantic enclosure for everything to lapses little by little. So I'm fighting it. Anyway. I can and it's giving me

25:10 A new lease on life, I see life now is it is something that's a lot more discipline that has to be a lot more discipline than it would be. Otherwise, I was just being middle-aged Valley Master. You know, I have a Russian accent. I walk into the studio. Everybody thinks it's really cute. I teach a really good ballet class. Haven't had any complaints and that would be it, and then I would get old and they'll be there. But now, I have to fight this thing, tooth and nail because it's going to get me if I'm not careful.

25:45 And I've lost weight. I've got much stronger, you know, sometimes you have to feel good. And I know sometimes you have to get sick in order to feel good. And that's what I say every day.

25:59 This is nada, and all this is a challenge Parkinson's is just a change.

26:07 Oh, wow, it looks just amazing. It is amazing. Because, you know what it like, get it gave your. Yeah. You could have been some ballet Master, at steps, New York City, you do getting a big fat, belly, drinking, alcohol, you helping people. And then I'm off again. You're a great teacher.

26:29 I'm sorry that you have to have Parkinson's to find this, but it seems gave you that's very, very, that's a gift. Because a lot of this information was missing from the doctors and I'm not, I'm not blaming the doctors. I left criticizing the doctors but there's just it's a different when you live with Parkinson's or when your help to help somebody. When you don't have more, it's really difficult because it's such a Fickle disease, but when you're in it,

27:02 And you have an understanding that you can actually help other people.

27:08 Is this is a pretty powerful position to be it? And you know, I don't put myself in the Forefront of knowledge that I have something magical. There's nothing magical about. It's hard work and discipline. That's it.

27:24 Yeah, it's a lot of discipline.

27:28 And most people don't have it.

27:33 Well, that's actually a very big subject, which is motivation and because Parkinson's disease.

27:43 Affects the whole motivation and desire and it develop and people get apathetic about doing things. You're saying the opposite discipline.

27:59 Like it. Yeah, that's the first thing I tell people when they want to work with me one-on-one because the best results people can get is when they work with me, one-on-one, because I can focus exactly what's going on physically and try to help them up. But discipline is such an elusive thing about a week 2 weeks, maybe 3. And then is just too much. I can't get off of work out. I mean, I'm too tired. The moment you do that, you're done, you're lost and you lost your battle and sure you can take more and more pills, but the end result of that is. Why tragic?

28:45 We're living in a society. That's very pilloried to just take me to my doctor. Give me a pill. I just want a pill to heal me and that's it, but people this diseases about work and it is about discipline.

29:00 There's nothing else available to us and you don't what we talkin about, right food? Right exercise, stress reduction and good sleep. I mean, we're not talking anything magical here.

29:13 But there's a huge spectrum of what can and you can and cannot do what you should and shouldn't eat. And that's a whole other story, you know, probably for another interview.

29:26 The thing is is that you can change your life and it could be fun where you and I are going to do a new program called the music, that moves. You write. A lot of people who are in who have Parkinson's are in their sixties. And seventies. They, they used to dance. They used to partner dance. They used to dance with their boyfriend, girlfriend wives. I remember my parents. I, I learned a lot of the Cha-Cha boost, you know, Samba all that stuff for my parents. I mean to bring fun back into their lives. They don't have that webinar. Music is medicine. Some of them, but you can

30:16 Yes, you can. And you know, what's a very rewarding part of this that now that I've been out there and doing occasional seminars and lectures. I need people like you Ordinary People. We just decided they're going to help people with Parkinson's, just like you. Somebody touched doubt that you're from the above. I said, you are chosen to help people with Parkinson's and always wonder why I understand why I do it because I don't want it. But to do, you know, wake up one day and decide that that's going to be your career path or out of good-nature. I mean you came to me.

30:58 And that it to this day, I'm wondering, okay. I'm so glad to be helping all the groups that you are leading on people, you're in contact with. But it, I see it as a gift. It's truly is a gift to me, people like you.

31:17 I have no idea why, I

31:22 He came down and touched me and instead, you help people of Parkinsons. It was that was about twelve years ago. And I was I'm, I'm a dancer. I said you was Maurice Cunningham and I was a scholarship student with West Cunningham, but I never got into his company. I don't think I ever told you I was because I was 5ft tall as opposed to all the other women who he hired were six people. So I was like the 150-foot woman in the scholarship. Programme took all those women into the company and not me. But anyway, I got over it. But so why was performing with a group of women here in our community, to other other housebound? Not well people, and one of the women was in a wheelchair. I don't know if I ever told you this and she said, come here. I want your phone number and I want you to call me after I perform for her. And after that, I called her. I didn't know what was wrong with her, and I found out you had Parkinson's disease.

32:22 And we became Fast and Furious friends. And after that, I met after the first time I met her, I came home and I googled Parkinson's, and dance, because I thought this is a move and I can't stop moving, like people, you know, I am so.

32:46 Connected to moving that. If I see somebody that has a hard time moving. I just want to help them. Figure out how they can you text. So, I found the answer PD, and this is an 2010. I think it was or 2009, and he was having, he was very small group at the time. Now, they're International, and I spoke to him on the phone, and he was having a training for dancers to teach people with Parkinson's disease. They said, well, I'm sorry we have one of these a year, but but it's all filled up. So I'll call you next year, when we have the next teaching. So I said, okay, but he called me the next day because I live in California. So the next day I was in the, in the in the in the program and I haven't stopped teaching people of Parkinsons since then and that was

33:46 About 12 years ago because I also. So it's fired because I see what movement does for everybody. So it gives them life and inspires them. It motivates them and makes them happy. So many people that have come to us. And said, don't tell anybody. I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me and then, and then and then they really inspires people good to know you.

34:29 You could do know you too. Yeah, you know, did you know that story about me?

34:37 I think you told me part of it at some point.

34:44 What do I want to ask him? I want to know when?

34:51 I don't publicize anything about my personal life on any kind of a media is not my kid. Not my wife a couple years ago, 4 years ago, 3 years ago.

35:06 Some like that. Well, I want to say that. Can I say, can I say that your daughter is a big star in our resume classes, because the classes that Alex peaches to, a lot of men who were probably in their sixties. And seventies were old grandfathers Swoon and Alex's baby, who is now 1 years old is the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world, since she's in the classes with him. She's like he'd killed you doing leg lifts and she's on his leg or he's doing or homeless and he's carrying her. I mean, we actually can I tell them about 1 for webinar that we do where you danced with her?

35:49 That was that was beautiful. We did a webinar called music is medicine. And one of the dances that Alice did was a 200 walls, like a lullaby. What was that piece of music, right?

36:07 So, he took his daughter and just did a beautiful part, rain dance with his with his daughter, and everybody just swooned and it was, it was gorgeous. So yeah, she's a character.

36:22 I think that is something that is you don't let's talk about your positive thinking because I I think you're you're mine said and the way you think positively has a lot to do with this too. Well with the options and we'll in the negativity succumb to the progressive disorder blame. Blame blame for everything and everyone you have ever met that somehow they give you Parkinson's how do you spend your life doing that? It's not much of a life. I just don't even think about it. I think what do I have to do today to feel good? What can I do today to help other people? If you find something new, maybe discover something that people have in Florida and it's all geared towards survival. If, you know, people say to me, oh, you're such an inspiration and I always have to correct them. I say no.

37:21 Looking at the desperation. You can see it. If you look close enough. I'm desperately trying to stay viable strong cognitive. So I'm not like the Juliana corner of my mouth and in decrepit because there's just not going to happen. So it desperation is driving me forward. And the end I use positivity and humor to propel the state that message because the opposite of happiness is something I don't even want to look at or think.

38:03 When you work one-on-one with people, how do you motivate them to get to that place where your where your conceptual thinking like that self is an example of what you can achieve with Parkinson's by having with having Parkinson's and then I try to zero in a what could help this particular individual and it is not easy to do because there's so many areas that have been affected by Parkinson, the Centrist, right arm or left leg or your whole body is taking a beating and to pinpoint how I can help this person is a really difficult task. So it's it, it's a real challenge. But I like the challenge. I love working with people, want them lunch. And when I see that they're getting good results in their life is changing for the better.

38:58 That's all the reward I ever need. This is so me at everything.

39:04 What, what advice would you give someone who is newly diagnosed with Parkinson's?

39:10 To treat has it as a challenge to be prepared to work hard and not to dwell on the side effects. And how long is it going to progress? How am I going to feel in 10 years? Nobody knows. You can't answer those questions. Doctors can't I can't nobody can should I get a brain? Stimulation, operation? Nobody knows.

39:32 It's a, it's a such a, such a complicated procedure and it helps some extreme cases, and people do feel better and it is working for some people, but not all people. And I caution because I was told many years ago that I should get a deep brain stimulation. And I asked why? Because they said, well, you probably don't want to get to the state where you can no longer think for yourself. But, you know, that's the kind of a dubious notion because doctors don't know that

40:05 You know, there's a great deal of mystery as to how we're progressing and then everybody for dresses on an individual level. So how can you tell that you should get a DPS? Because maybe 10 years from now? Your decline will be such that you won't be able to think. That's it. I'm sure you've been obviously in a, a worse place and you see how you can improve. So, you know, that you have the same results as I have, but at least I can point him in the direction where they can try.

40:48 One last question. I don't know if you wanted me to ask this, but I don't like this question, but you tell me. How would you like to be remembered?

40:58 I just don't want to be forgotten. It's like, it's like Woody Allen says, I don't want to be

41:12 Remember, it's for my work. I want to be remembered for not dying.

41:20 So how would you like your leg is? Do you know my legacy is? I don't want to remember to do my work. I want to Remember by not die. So it makes I think I'm paraphrasing but something like that.

41:34 Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is very nice. This is wonderful.

41:39 I enjoyed it.