Suzanne Cardner and Florence Mosher

00:02 Hi, my name is Suzanne cardner. I'm 60 on 60. Keep pushing that age. Today's date is Wednesday, July 28th, 2021. I'm in Rochester, New York.

00:17 My conversation partner today is Florence, Mosher in my relationship with her, is her mentor.

00:26 Hi, my name is Florence Mosher. I'm 57. Today's date is Wednesday, July 28th, 2021. I mean Rochester. New York. My conversation partner is Suzanne. Cardner Advocate / mentor.

00:46 Do today is our big day and I can't I wanted to start off with this quote on sent to me to try to get things. Going to take a step back. Relax, collect your thoughts and make a list of everything that you can think of. That must be done. In order of priority, that will ease your mind and help you focus on the most important things first.

01:15 Nap, for me sums up what you have done.

01:21 I'm going to go to the covid-19, pandemic.

01:26 We've been in a global pandemic for a year-and-a-half.

01:31 And you just kept moving forward. You didn't let anything stop you.

01:39 And I admire that in you. Thank you because

01:44 You went ahead and got your

01:47 Certified Recovery advocate.

01:53 Training 647 hours, 46 hours of training.

02:01 Instant online banks online to enhance my career and then

02:09 It was to you.

02:13 That that help me stay on this plane, all kept me in Courage.

02:20 Like we have met before and another peer Advocate Program and it's by no mistake that we met again. We spoke over the phone to we seen each other actually in, and I'll keep pushing me in, like,

02:38 For years. I was trying to get my GED transcripts. I don't care what Avenue I went. Who try to help me with the Avenue. We could not find it. And here you are doing this through this agency. And with the agency's, how you produce them for me to pursue this career and, and not in just a career, but just to have per se anyways, because I put my working and, and lost most of them over the years and moving and stop by.

03:08 I'm just grateful that you're there. That hands me that you, you know.

03:14 You encourage me and the saying is true that I had to do myself. I had to stop thing situations that were overwhelming to me. I had to put things in order. What was first to be prioritized. The first thing it needs to be addressed, then put them in order and then I had to once I got them in order to address the name needs to be addressed. Most importantly, how do I go try to take out the Avenues of solutions with all the evidence is Lucia's on those the back up and just in case the covid pandemic has

03:55 It's been a hardship. There's also been a good thing for me. I don't know.

04:02 If the without the pandemic would I have received my certificate? I don't know if I have accomplished a lot of compliments that I have accomplished in the past.

04:17 I need you to sit here and just take heat and for a minute and there's a lot of things are overwhelming and stressful and it seem like I just come get, but one daughter, but with you and the agency in and the others behind it kept in, touch with me, check me reaching out to me. And you let me know just how important I was and you let me know that it's okay to take time out and do me today. It's okay to take a breath and I used those today, truly. Take your time. I'll take a G+ to the time. I relax my mind and just

04:55 Think about nothing about relaxing, for myself, to keep my head clear to keep myself going in. Those are very helpful. And it's been very, very good for me because you would life situations that can be overwhelming and stressful cuz my mind book Professor night, and look into the situation down the road before you get down the road that way. But

05:19 Not many people will say this, but I think I'm kind of grateful for the pain that may be because of my treatments are it? Kept it with a long with your support and your encouragement and your compassion and your patience. And we'll just teaching me with that, with myself pass on.

05:39 Bourbon. Very positive influence. I don't think I could have and just stay in my walk today. I don't think that I would have found it in any of the agency. This, I walked out of places. I watch all the groups. I wasn't. What I was saying wasn't to change, just want to hear. It's a whole different route and down the road of where my journey was, where I came from, where I'm at today, to be even more.

06:12 Prosperous ineffective in society that

06:18 I couldn't have done it without you and your backups of up this. But this agency, consist of and if, and if we can form any of us can relate to our walk, to our Journeys, from past to present, and that was a big plus. And I think with me being a circle. Right now, I know when my life is strange, things and hoping all is well as yours and then are combined it together then.

06:48 The encouragement then the enforcing in a certain way of encouragement and all that. I know just as you having others have I can be effective and then I know

07:05 I can make it impact cuz you guys have just admitted impact on me. But it's, it's it's my desires to work with. Certain age. Groups are very strong because I feel that I can be help them. Adjust things help them. Learn the stuff, love and all that. Before they become out of the effective adult to be in a state of mind, so too.

07:33 Be able to be there for the The Adolescents.

07:39 To help teach them and guide them and give them some a little bit of make them feel important to lovely stuff and do they have choices and they have decisions to make choices and know their self-worth, and their values and how they are in control of their life. And as far as with themselves, I mean, we're still in the household with Mom and Dad, but within themselves, I feel that they can be empowered after I feel I can try and give them that encouragement and I'm getting some empowerment. So when they are the same God willing, they become my age, there are more effective in society than me, getting to the stage to try to become effective starting younger. Yes, starting in early, instead of becoming an adult, like me in half this, to enjoy some hardships in many ways.

08:39 Let's address them when they're at a certain age. They can they can they can learn, they can become positive. They can, they can be turned around from where they at. No matter what the situation is. And this is what they need. This is if we have it. Now for the adults, we need to know give it to more of the adolescence instead of making certain.

09:07 Environmental forces for them. However, where were their issue may be? So let's get on some environmental issues of them self and what did Kenzie and stuff. So, because I didn't think I would make it this far and I'm thankful and I know there's a purpose for me. So I don't know everything that is being done. Is been already planned. It planned out for me. This is my higher power. I call God and I hope he's ordained everything. And I just had to sit back and I think that's what the pain. It was about for me to sit back and be still and let these people being placed as he put them in place to do what they need to do, to help me to get Ronnie to get.

09:58 And I'm getting there. I'm getting, there is still a little couple of doors that won't open food for me, but their crap and that's a big thing. And, you know, but I feel that there in time, everything takes place in time. So I feel that.

10:17 Songs from the along with the patients and then the south care for myself. Because I hope that you guys are teaching me and that you keeping in touch or reaching out to me making things available to me as I cannot be in person most of the time to something. I was very much appreciated this and that's a plus, you know, because a lot of places where they wouldn't, that was some of these groups that I would be the first time thing to create a link and sides and it's a great experience because

11:09 I don't get the my little disability temporary disability hinder me today, but I've also is also maybe take a look at more of my stuff today that, okay, you are as you are and I'm, but it doesn't stop my mind. It doesn't stop my heart. And doesn't stop my toes. It's just one day at a time. It stayed in the moment and staying in. And I've learned that more soul.

11:38 Now this pandemic, a few in the rest of your backups with this agency. Other than that, I don't.

11:46 I don't know where without Bobby staying and sent home to present or whatever. But I got a positive influence outlook on life today. In exchange is even more change on the change. That's the same. Every day is not going to be something, just always something in the next day. It's just how you react, as how I react to it. What do I do with it? And then,

12:23 How I keep it, or throw it away, but I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful because

12:31 The compound where I come from and what I've been doing in my life, I didn't think I was 657 years old.

12:40 I didn't and I'm here today to tell you.

12:44 With the right people, the right encouragement to write compassion.

12:51 You can I have and I am becoming more better and more positive and helping me reach my goal or desired to burn me to reach out to this society. When did you and hopefully become a spokesperson because some things need to be addressed. These things need to be addressed and society and some people need to be removed on my opinion, and have the right ones in place via been so govern, and

13:25 Did the prize by a people in the seats that are for the community that when it comes to community issues? I see a lot of hardships. So if I don't do nothing, but start.

13:41 A group to come forward to them, to be addressed, certain things to it, cuz I noticed that on to something really bad happens. When there's a big issue and that's what everybody wants to change. Have. Me and Tyrell is going National TV and stuff, but you got to be adamant just like him, just like, now in my walk with the right people with you, with me. I recant, Adam, and I kept walking, you have to be persistent, and you have to have that and you and your voice, my voice doesn't matter. My feelings. Don't matter how I look, doesn't matter and leave the Earth in society after this today, I think.

14:27 Once I can get myself situated in this career, then I'm going and get my stuff, my feet grounded. I can be a the start of a compositive.

14:40 Spokesperson from Community CSS, you know, God willing all that parking place.

14:49 I see it. I see Mike my goals in my desires. My desires for this.

14:54 Is so strong that I can see it if I wanted so much faster than what is able to get me. But I know it's it's it's it's to fall in place and I'm reminded that by each one of y'all all the time. It's like when it's that time without be on the link or whatever. I am when it's time for you to be there in a half hour for you. So I have to learn to stay in the moment and I have to keep reminding myself and using a big things. A lot of people just to overcome obstacles, but you got some that may not come out of come out and you and some may and like everyday we're losing.

15:34 Windows and lice.

15:36 If I'm not too scary, yeah, man, that's that's not you know, by other people's hands. So

15:45 I think what you said about the youth because I feel like

15:50 Empowering our youth.

15:52 Showing him them, different ways of achieving goals, having them set goals. They are, sometimes I feel like they use gets stuck in a ride where they, where they came from. They don't know what you guys gave me to do that. I found my birth and I start loving me when I started my process of my journey, but I wish I had people like, you guys then when I was younger than me on October 28th to where I'm at today and stand tall and can voice myself because I know my voice, it is important voice. Isn't that? If it's not important to the next one? It's important to me because I can speak to that instead of holding it in and

16:49 Feeling like I don't matter or no matter what I say, or what I do is never going to be good enough to know. Let's get in place because this this, this grab them by their hands or sit next to him. You are somebody important. You may not see it yet, but you are. And give me the guidelines. Give everything that was given to me as an adult no matter where this fitting it don't matter, what facilities are at work, but they're going through in life and you know, to where they family can match. Families, can mend families, come back. When I think about my youth, I think about growing up as a teenager.

17:33 Really bad, but the situation I was in my parents aren't together.

17:39 I wanted to be a family. We moved from the country to the city, when my, when my mom remarried. I was mad. I didn't want it. It wasn't going my way. If I can head up here or something, or someone to guide me, and I'm not saying that my parents didn't. They did the best they could. If I had had someone on my side more or less guiding me and showing me Alternatives or encouraging my interest. I think I might have gone a different way instead of getting

18:16 More pissed off or mad and then lashing out as I got older turning to alcohol and drugs to ease my mind and discomfort, right? Because because I have to use the worst me, feel nobody understands stuff. You feel, nobody knows what I'm going through, right. Nobody, you know, because we said I stopped supper and keep to ourselves in that state of mind. Yes to wear.

18:52 It's used before we realize. Oh my god. I've been doing a lot of things, the Swingin doors, that they call them in and out places in and out of the programs and stuff and revolving doors, but they went on swinging doors cuz then they became involving doors and stuff. So, that's another thing. I want to reach out to because they took a lot of things out of these facilities. Correctional Facility. Correct. Nobody took away was supposed to be in guidance to help correct their state of mind just thought and to make them feel worthy of an assault. So that's another thing I would like to address for the society in this community because you want to build more facilities like that, everything that you took out of there and put them in a place where they have all that bike there and then human

19:52 Dehumanizing using them and humiliating them and feel powerful by belittling them because they're back in your car going. Please see that. There's an issue no matter what it is that is doing that and keep them in and and going through that door to make you feel, like I seen judge Philpot for, by the way, they talk to certain people and stuff and you don't just forget. You're here we go again, where important to ourselves? And once you in the lifestyle of

20:34 In an addiction and your underarms with all terrain and then you feeling that nobody understands you and you're not, you're not feeling that you're being loved losing yourself, right? So I don't foresee. Tell you, I never knew love Growing Up. So for me today, love myself, that's the big thing, because you judge and then back in my time is next after enough of these didn't do it. I am financially. So I have it all in me. So, but I'm not sure if I can put in the hot seat, I can. I can handle it today. What were the world? How the world has evolved? So before you eat, and it's getting worse with this with this program that they got going on with him as you are.

21:34 Me house me first. Okay, so I didn't go, I want to go. So I'm going to be able to go. I'll be a better adviser this way. I'll be a better Mentor this way. I know it's for some reason.

21:54 I'm going to be this is going to be this way because this is how it is. The process is going right now.

22:03 I feel like that's what helped me to going through my substance use disorder and mental health issues using substances to ease that.

22:16 Becoming homeless doing things.

22:21 That I probably would have no I wouldn't do today trying to give me the exact in and out of jail out of jail.

22:31 Gave me the experience to be able to relate to someone going through it. I feel like in and how I got out of it. Now, how do I get out of that? You know, that I took in the work that I did on my cell through the years.

22:48 They give me when I never got before. I give myself permission.

22:53 Did treat myself with passion. Love respect and honor and maybe I never felt like this about myself even though I tell you and myself are also giving me also, teach a man, got it mean to have compassion, love for myself to have patience for myself, stop and take a moment and do nothing think of nothing for myself. So that's all a part of the software than loving myself. And I love that because all these years even having all this amount of time, and I wasn't showing that. So to have all day and placing you into have people are stuck in place.

23:45 To be able to offer to you and and to be late. Cuz I don't have a story, right? It ain't say no. We just think that your name was no matter what we did but we similar, but I are emotions the mental and verbal physical. Whatever it is is partly line up with each other and all that. Shane can go. The not being, you know, feeling like you are somebody that I'm not worth it. No love from the family. You don't understand, because they don't understand what you're going through because along with addiction. You just up, there are mental health issues as well. So they took people need to underline the difference and the fam first, take time out for Destiny.

24:42 So I am using my mind. I need to try to get myself together, and it took me 20, something years, but I'm sitting here today, and we're doing different things. Really live with people, like you and others myself inside my mind somehow, you always hear differently. And it's like, you know, you studied and may you have an outlet on here. It is like a big ball. Now, I'm just supposed to allow all this to happen. You. It's like I said, I don't understand like I'm going through some little issues today. I thought I had resolved but

25:42 It is what it is. So I'm trying. It was something that was said and one of these serious, I was thinking right now. I understand you're talking to the person. I was talkin to the in, for that time. I was like, I didn't understand it. But then I found myself putting out things I said, okay, so I came in a lineman. I'm not over it. I thought I went through but I'm not but I'm glad that you know, I have a better Outlook and I have a better way to search for things, not knowing that I'm searching for to get results. Right? And this is what more was more these people like you and hopefully I can be one of this will affect the people just as well to the next one, and see how you're doing it yourself. You're walking the walk. Yeah. Just talking to talk to you walk in and walk your finding ways to use your computer, your laptop, your phone, the webinars. How do I get here? I don't

26:42 I'll go to a text or a text.

26:50 Just take a deep breath and calm down. Take a deep breath and relax, like this. Damn, Daniel sent another separate. Text and says, do you today don't worry about nothing else. Do you think Dan is just give me time to take a break from the stressful, you know something? I couldn't understand it because it was overwhelming to me. So I guess he's probably in my hair. So I take that process and stuff and I'm telling you, are you learn something new everyday and no matter how old you get and you think you people are sick, people at all and think they stood on top of the world.

27:30 But it comes to the price to pay for top of the world right to. I don't want that feeling with your self-esteem or something on the line with the can't get it. And I swear he's actually I couldn't. I couldn't get on from under that rock. Then on top of the pavement and I am and now I not only am I on top of the payment, but I'm walking at Peyton and off and I feel good about what I'm doing. You reach out to your community.

28:05 Yeah, being with your family. I do. I do. I have, I have, I have many, many grandchildren and just to see what I put my kids through, and then see that they still have struggles. And then to see,

28:22 About my grandkids is like, I meant to appear. I try to change the Outlook to change their mindset and I get them to think. Why do you do this? You have a right to say that you're upset. You have the right to say, I need time out and you have but you don't have the right to say those words. You don't have the right to use your hand. You have the right to go to your own brand for your own space. And then I want you to think while you're in there. Why am I mad? Why am I upset? And this is not only helping them but it's helping me too because I can fight for myself. When I get mad or something. It just blow me off and now I have to take a look at why not act like that. So this is something I had to teach myself. So this is all practice for me to help, you know, but I'm still helping them but, you know, cuz without realizing it, I caused a lot of harm and lot of ways and the camera

29:22 I can't replace that, but I can help.

29:25 Can do different now because all the help them, you know, walk the walk and get them having their process. If you've learned from it. Now, you can move on from it and do different from it. Like there's something that I heard recently is called pause, pray, proceed. Talk to you. And then proceed did I take another two minutes and then I'll just get up and go in and I do you know who's doing that process? I just learned how to do this with the big thing. I'm open-minded about me.

30:12 And stuff, so I'm glad I'm glad it's a bit and I'm so appreciative for the people for you. And if you don't want to give up but I hurt you. But in your own ways away, you don't know because you the journey in the past. Y'all know how to, to keep me encouraged to keep me going. Don't do that. You shouldn't give up our son will just plan to give up on me right before you today.

30:44 Do you make a positive impact and you kill me a float tank and I'm so appreciate it.

30:52 I don't know how that isn't playing. We don't know who this is.

31:04 When you get the people in your life today or not, I've learned that change comes with it cuz when it's time for them to be removed if they're removed, but you never forget because they leave an apartment on me and then your heart and your mind. So I don't never want to say goodbye and thank you. I love you. I just thank you for all that. You do for me. Just even a little text saying a smiley face, but I'm saying I don't understand. I'm one of these days and all it takes is just up a common words on the Emoji or even when you have time to call and we've taught me a lot, you have shown me.

31:56 The I can do more than I thought. I could feel like all of the challenges that you experienced. I might not know how to handle and I don't know how to get the answer, but that makes me dig deeper, right? I know I could be a challenge for the things that I challenged with. I guess I've turned some of you but you pain solutions where I couldn't find it, and then you will see the cheeks me and show me. And that's what they know, but I never done a difference. You got to be. So and if you're not talk and be shown, I don't think I would be here cuz I reach out and ask and I say, I don't know the answer. Can someone help me, you know, you don't know everything. I don't know everything. We got to act together. We can do it together. Thank you. Thank you.