Tammy Henry, Wilbertine Calhoun, and Tiffiny Benton-Hoke

[00:01] TAMMY HENRY: Hi, my name is Tammy Henry. Today is Saturday, October 23, 2021, where I am currently in the Mildred El Terry Library in Columbus, Georgia. I will be interviewing my mother, Wilbertine Calhoun.

[00:16] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Hi, my name is Wilbertine Calhoun. I'm 73 years of age. I'm here today in Columbus, Georgia, on October 23, 2021. Interviewing with my daughter, Tammy Henry.

[00:35] TAMMY HENRY: Today we would like, I would like to take this time to interview my mother about her life. It's always been interesting to hear her life story and to share it with not only myself and my sister, but our children, my mother's three grandchildren. So we'll start this conversation off of just getting to know my mother. Mama tell us a little about yourself, where you're from, where you were born.

[01:01] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I was born in Atlanta, Georgia, at Grady Memorial Hospital, 1949. I was born to Willie and Gertrude. Willie and Gertrude samples. I was married at a very, very young age and giving birth to two wonderful daughters, Tiffany and Tammy. I was educated at Luther Judson price high school.

[01:40] TAMMY HENRY: Tell me, what was it like growing up in Atlanta in the fifties and sixties?

[01:48] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I was raised in a very, very low income area, but it was an area that everyone was very close knit. My parents was very hardworking parents. But.

[02:06] TAMMY HENRY: Your parents are very hardworking parents.

[02:10] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I mean, it was home for me. I was from a very small neighborhood. My parents was very hard working parents. They worked in the neighborhood. My grandfather, he worked at a company called Maytag, which made paper products. My mother, she did work in homes. My father, he worked at a laundromat. So we were a very happy family growing up, and everything was fine for us during that particular time.

[02:43] TAMMY HENRY: So Papa Caldwell worked in a paper company?

[02:50] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Yes, he did.

[02:51] TAMMY HENRY: Okay. All right. You know, growing up, of course, I know that you lost your mom when you were 14 years old. And so from my recollection is, I remember granddaddy, granddaddy Willie, your father and mama and Papa Caldwell very well. And so you also had two brothers?

[03:14] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Yes, I did.

[03:15] TAMMY HENRY: How did it feel being the baby and the only girl?

[03:20] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I loved it. My brothers treated me like queens, naturally. You know, the brothers take the blame of everything. But again, I had a wonderful life, not knowing whether we were struggling or not. But they were very compassionate boys to me, being the baby child.

[03:42] TAMMY HENRY: Okay. You know, growing up, you said you talked about growing up in a small community. I did not realize until I became an adult about really how small the community was that you grew up in, because Tiffany and I also grew up in it and in Atlanta, for anyone that's from Atlanta, they know about Joyland. And so Joyland was a very small knit, family oriented community. And now what's interesting about it, in 2021, that is known Joyland. So what was it like growing up in that community called Joyland in Atlanta, Georgia?

[04:23] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I think that community, at that particular time, that community name explained what it was all about Joyland, because at that time, it was a joyous for place for us to grow up in, as you say. Now everyone knows about Joyland because Joyland at that particular time was a very low class community, and now in 2021, it's really, really gone down. But at that particular time, it was a great community to be in because all of the people there were family people.

[05:02] TAMMY HENRY: Okay, and tell me about your experience as you got older. I know that you had two kids. You had Tiff. You lost your mother at a very early age, 14.

[05:18] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I did.

[05:19] TAMMY HENRY: You also was a product of teenage pregnancy. Even though you got married. You have two kids, Tiffany and I. You had Tiffany and what I did, and you had me at 18. What was it like being a teenage.

[05:33] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Mother at that particular time? It was kind of hard. But my family was very good to me at that time. And being that I was young, they helped me to raise my two daughters, and I must say I raised two wonderful daughters. My grandmother raised me after my mother passed away. My father kind of strayed away for us while. But we had a very loving family, a very close family. I had an aunt who was extremely close to me, Aunt Georgia. And she was loved very much, which was my grandmother's sister.

[06:21] TAMMY HENRY: I think sometimes in today's society, we miss that extended family, and an extended family was very important with you because you had it. Like you said, you had Aunt Georgia, who was your grandmother's sister. She lived to be 100 years old. We celebrated her 100th birthday.

[06:41] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Yes, she did.

[06:42] TAMMY HENRY: And she passed shortly after. I think Tiffany and I can recall Mama Caldwell and Papa Caldwell, your two brothers, junior Willie Samples junior and Robert Samples But you also had an only cousin, Benny and Rowe, who was part of your family as you started your family. One thing I realized as an adult now is, oh, my goodness, my mother experienced this at such a young age. How did she do it? And I think sometimes Tiffany and I, when we talk, we ask these questions. How did mama get through doing all this at such a young age? How did you work and take care of two girls? How did you do it? Cause we looked at you as a superwoman. But how did you do it? What's your magic, Kate? Tell us.

[07:41] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I can say, by the grace of God. It was a struggle. But because we was. I taught love to my children, and love was taught to me, it wasn't as hard to do. I always loved working. And in working, it took a lot of things away that I could have been doing. But my family was such a loving family to me and my children that it wasn't hard at all.

[08:17] TAMMY HENRY: You mentioned work, and one thing that I know that I developed from you, and I'm sure Tiffany can speak on this behalf, is our work ethics. Yes. So many times people say, why y'all work so hard or why you work so many jobs. Share with me and share with others with the job. Some of the jobs that you have had to work to just make it. To make it well.

[08:44] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I have worked in dry cleaning. I have did home duty, house home duties. I have worked in daycare centers. As a young child, I always wanted to be a teacher. That was something I really wanted to do. I wanted to teach children. So as the years went by, I started my own in home childcare. It was so successful. I became an entrepreneur with the daycare center. And even up to today, I'm serving daycare centers throughout the state of Georgia. So working is something that I have always done, and I have always enjoyed doing it, and I have always enjoyed serving people and what I did.

[09:38] TAMMY HENRY: And I remember your group home daycare very well. I think that's when I started my family. My sister started her family. When you owned the group home daycare, what was the name of it?

[09:50] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Benton's home daycare.

[09:52] TAMMY HENRY: Benton. And how many years ago was it when you started that group home daycare?

[09:58] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: 38 years ago.

[10:00] TAMMY HENRY: And you had it for how long?

[10:03] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I had that particular daycare for ten years.

[10:08] TAMMY HENRY: Okay. And so now you currently operate a food nutritional program that's sponsored by. Right from the start?

[10:17] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Yes. And USDA.

[10:19] TAMMY HENRY: USDA.

[10:19] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: And I have been doing that now for 36 years.

[10:23] TAMMY HENRY: And you're still serving daycare centers?

[10:25] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: And I'm still serving daycare centers throughout the state of Georgia.

[10:29] TAMMY HENRY: Okay.

[10:30] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: And I love it.

[10:31] TAMMY HENRY: I know. You know, I often admire you for work, and it's a running joke with you and my sister and I about we gonna retire before you. So I understand your work ethics. I understand that you really love to work. Let's talk about family. I know being your daughter and my sister is two years older than me, that one thing you I know for a fact, or we both know my sister and I know, is your love for your family. And our family is small, but I always like to say it's mighty. I have one nephew, Christopher Martell Benton, which is tiffany's one and only child. I have two children, Amber Lofaye Tramiel and Robert Tramiel. And so I found this momentous. Let's talk about family. You have always pride yourself on your family. Let's talk about just family.

[11:39] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Well, I have a great love for my family. I have a great love for my grandkids and my daughter. And I think because with family, you have to express your love to your family in order to let them know now, today, that they are loved. And I love communicating with my family, my grandchildren, and loving them and letting them allow them to know that I love them. I also want them to know that life may not be what you picture it to be, but you can strive to have anything you want in this world today. You did not mention I have a husband now. So I'm also a wife, and I love my husband very much.

[12:35] TAMMY HENRY: And how long have you and Perry been married? Cause he's been. He's been. Perry has been part of our family for a long time. I think Robert. Robert is 33 now, and that's the granddaddy that he knows. So how long have you and Perry been together? And how long have you been married?

[12:54] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: We were together ten years before we married. And November 21 would be 23 years of marriage. And it's been wonderful. It's been uphill ever since.

[13:10] TAMMY HENRY: So you've been married for 23. 23 years, and then you dated for ten. Well, that makes sense. Cause Robert is 33, and that's all he knows. It's very wild. Time is real fine. Oh, that's interesting. 23 years he has been an addition to our family because, you know, he's all that the children know as granddad to them. So, you know, we're thankful for that, too. Yeah, that's interesting. You mentioned your family. Let's talk about faith. You a strong, godly woman.

[13:45] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Oh, yes.

[13:46] TAMMY HENRY: You truly believe in putting God first and foremost in your life. I think the grandkids realize that. And I tell a story quickly, and I'll let you talk about faith. When the kids were little and Robert and Amber just had this conversation with me a couple of days ago, they mentioned we went walking, and a pit bull came after us and was gonna attack us. And you put the kids behind you, and you start praying, and the dog turned around and went the other way, and the kids said, grandmama can move mountains. Even the dog was scared of her. And I thought that was so funny. We laughed about it just the other day. But let's talk about faith, your faith in God.

[14:38] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: I first must say this about my grandchildren. I think my grand boys have always thought I could move mountains, and that makes a grandmother feel mighty good. But my faith, yes, I do. I believe in goddesse, the father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. And I really believe that you must have faith within your life in order to move those mountains. And so that's something that I love. I love going to church and praising God and serving him and thanking him for all of the things that has come by in my lifetime. And it's so good to be able to say sometime to your children and your grandchildren that this is where you come from and this is where you are. And again I say that those grand boys think I am. I am mighty, and I love it.

[15:39] TAMMY HENRY: It's just funny because they were just talking about this other day, and I always like to say, yeah, that's grandmama. But I take it for granted because I grew up with you. But it's a whole different perspective now with. With Christopher and my two, Amber and Roberts. Seeing you as grandparents, Tiffany and I get to have experienced you as mother. But for them to see you as grandparent, a grandparent, well, I believe that.

[16:10] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Once you become a grandmother, you understand better. It's an honor to have grandchildren, and it's an honor to love them and be loved by them. So I give my grandchildren the most utmost respect.

[16:26] TAMMY HENRY: Oh, that's so sweet. Well, we always, we always talk about you, but I just say, you know, we never hear from you. You give us nuggets of advice, whether we want it or not. You share your love, you feed us, you always welcome us home, but we don't get to hear too much of your story. And so that's why I wanted to take this time with story corp and just kind of hear your story of your family, the love that we know you have for your family and how you have overcome many obstacles in life. But not one day have you complained.

[17:09] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: And that's true, because I feel that when there's opticals in your life with your children, those are my opticals. So therefore, I really feel that that weight shouldn't be on my children, you know? And I believe as long as I have faith, I can carry them and get through it. And I believe this has taken place throughout my life.

[17:35] TAMMY HENRY: Well, and it has shown, because when I tell people, you know, we talk about teenage pregnancy, and I tell them I'm a product of that, and they say, you are. Yes. My mother, too, was a young unwed and married my dad when she was young. And they said, well, you don't know what it's like living in a low income area. I grew up in one, but my mother's home life and was great. Even though we were poor. Not one day did I feel that way because we was rich. We was rich with love and we was rich with everything that we needed and wanted that I can't even begin to tell you that we were poor. So I also realized one thing is a mindset, because the struggle was real, but it was so rewarding. Tell me, let's talk about you, and let's talk about if you can make one lasting impression, what message would you send the world? And I'm asking you this because the last year has been interesting with COVID and we have heard and seen, seen many people die. We have heard and seen many people get sick. If it was one thing that you will want to let the world know from Wilbertine Calhoun, what would it be?

[19:13] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Well, I would say that we must continue to have faith and we must continue to unite and be come one in what we do, in how we think and how we see things in life, because we only get one life to live. And I'm sure any mother, speaking as a mother and a grandmother, would want their child and their family to have a good life. So just have faith. And again, I believe that that faith will help you to move those mountains and get through all of the things that we are going through today.

[20:02] TAMMY HENRY: Well, on behalf of my big sister, Tiffany Bench and holk and myself, we just want to say thank you. Thank you for raising us to be productive citizens of these United States. Thank you for being an awesome grandmother to our children. Christopher Martell Benton Amberlot Faye Tramiel and Robert Tyrone Tramiel, thank you because you are a living example of what we can become, if not what we can become, something greater, because you have set the standard. And it's kind of interesting. I think it's high. The bar has been set for us. And so we are striving, we're striving to continue to love our family. We're striving to continue to walk in faith. And so we just want to say thank you. And it's always good to hear your.

[20:56] WILBERTINE CALHOUN: Story, but thank you. Tammy.