The Unbreakable Bond of Three Sisters

00:00 So this is Susan Martin I'm in Northampton. It's April 1, 2022. And what we decided we were going to talk about that. What Catherine was going to talk about was growing up with her family. And to me, this was very interesting, because I only had one sibling. She's older than. And I don't know what it's like to grow up with other siblings in which we all loved each other because my sister hated me, because I displaced her in the family. And so I don't know what it's like to have, like, a happy sibling relationships. And Catherine has three siblings, right? Two sisters and a brother. And so I was just very curious what that was like. And so these are my questions for her. Well, first I wanted to know the order of the siblings and where she fits in. The.

01:23 The order of the siblings is that Abby is the firstborn. She is about two and a half years older than me, and she's currently 23. And then I am next. I am about to turn 21. Then I'm the second born, and then Sophia is my younger sister. She is a senior in high school.

01:46 And what's her name again?

01:48 Sophia.

01:50 Sophia. Okay.

01:51 Yes, Sophia. Or we call her Sophie more than we call her Sophia, but Sofia. And then my younger brother is Ben. So Sophia is about two and a half years younger than me, too. So the spacing between us is, like, pretty equal, which is good, because it's always made us so close. And then Ben is the baby, but he's not really a baby anymore. He's actually pretty old, but he just started driving. He's 16, and he's the only boy.

02:24 I wonder if that was hard for him to be the only boy in the family to have three older sisters.

02:31 Yeah. I mean, it definitely has its challenges with him, and he's always kind of presented that to us. When he was younger, he would always be like, why can't you just come outside and play sports with me? And why can't you just say you'd be a boy? And we'd say, because we don't want to do those kind of activities. And that was sometimes hard for him to understand, but in the same way, we would force, or not really force, but he would participate in a lot of the girly activities that we would do. So growing up, my two sisters and I, we had a ton of american girl dolls, which I don't know if you know what those are, but they're dolls. Yeah. You know what an american girl doll is?

03:22 Yeah.

03:22 So Abby, Sophie, and I all had, like, one to two american girl dolls. And we had the outfits, and we had the little american girl doll babies, and we. He'd say, ben, you want to come play with us? And he would have his own. He actually had one of these, like, boy american girl dolls, which they didn't make very many of.

03:43 I didn't know, but I think my.

03:46 Parents got it for him just so that he could feel included, because so many of the time he was like, why are they doing all these girl activities? Why are they playing with makeup? And he just didn't understand that. But we never wanted to do any of the things I remember. He would have these car sets. Like, he was so fascinated by cars and legos. So cars and legos.

04:14 He raised the son. I understand that.

04:19 Yeah, he definitely had the things he liked. But Legos took on a bit of a, like, we both could play with them. It was kind of a gender neutral toye because it's just building, you know, and it's like building houses, and you can get really creative with it. So although he was so obsessed with legos, that was kind of the common ground to which we could both play, because he loved legos. We loved legos. Or I'd say we didn't really love legos, but we would tolerate them. Be like, yeah, we'll play Legos with you if you play dolls with us. But it was good. It was definitely interesting for him. And I know I was talking to you about this previously, but he formed really, really strong connections with all of his guy friends from the time that he was very little, because those were the brothers to him. And even, like, our male cousins, my mom's side of the family is really. They have five kids, and four of them are boys.

05:31 Good.

05:31 Youngest is a girl. So it's almost like the reverse of our family, where, I mean, add one more kid, but they have four boys and a girl, and we have three girls and a boy. And the funniest thing is, in our family, Ben is the youngest and he's a boy. And in their family, her name's Alita. Alita is youngest, and she's a girl. So they're all around the same age to us. So they would always come over, play with Ben, and those were also like his brothers. So he really had those outside sources that he used.

06:07 But that's good.

06:09 Yeah, definitely good.

06:15 Okay, the next question. Oh, I was interested because I. I know my parents didn't prepare my sister when I was going to be born, and she hated me from the minute she saw me. And she couldn't believe this was happening to her. So what I wanted to know is, how did your parents prepare each sibling for the next child that was born? Like, did you know what was going to happen? And did you talk about it a lot beforehand so you knew what was going on? Did you feel comfortable with it once the next one came?

07:01 So that's a really good question. My mom was always good at involving us in her pregnancy. So we would put our hands on her belly and we'd get to feel the baby, and we would read a lot of books about, like, new baby sister and new baby brother. And I know at least when Sophie came, I I never knew a younger sibling, and I, my mom would say, you're going to be this protector to Sophie. You get to be her big sister. There was this kind of award that came with that and this, like, sense of excitement in me because I was like, I'm going to be a big sister. I'm a big girl.

07:41 I'm going to teach her how to walk and talk and all that.

07:45 I know. And for. So I was, what, like, around three, when Sophie was about to be born? But I don't know, it instilled this, like, sense of excitement in me because I was just like, I cannot wait. That's great to be a leader. You know, when you're young, you're seeking that, like, independence, and I'm a big girl. I, you know, you're being potty trained and you're always trying to be independent. That, that was one of the things I remembered most. But my mom did a great job with just like, I think it was just in the way that she got us excited for the baby, so that when they came, we were like, yay, they're here. And I just remember going to the hospital and running upstairs and just getting to hold my new siblings. And that was so exciting. It was a really, really exciting part of my life.

08:35 That's great that she did that. Great for you. And look what a great relationship you have now.

08:42 I know. Yeah. When we got to the hospital, so it was so funny because Sophie was actually almost born in the car because my mom was braiding Abby and I hair right before we went to the hospital. And I remember my dad was like, bethany, we need to go to the hospital right now. You know, you're in labor. Sophie's going to be born. But my mom said, oh, I'm okay, I'm okay. And she held it off. But Sophie was almost born in the car.

09:10 Oh, really?

09:11 Yes. By the time that my dad, like, dropped my mom off, and they put her in the wheelchair. They rolled her upstairs. We were parking, but by the time we got in the elevator and took the elevator upstairs with my father, Sophie was born.

09:29 Wow.

09:29 So it was that quick. And then.

09:33 That's great.

09:35 I know. It was. She didn't even.

09:38 May yours be born that way.

09:42 I know. But then we all went downstairs to the gift shop, and this is a specific core memory I have. We picked out this little bear. It's, like, this big, and it was, like, Sophie's bear. And I forget what she named him. She named him, like, berry or, you know, those little names that children use, like, if it's a blue animal, it's like, bluey, you know, because they don't know any other name other than something associated with the animal. But, yeah, that was her favorite bear. We remember it. We always remembered that bear because we're like, that was the bear we picked out for you in the hospital. Then my dog got to it, and it, like, chewed one of the eyes out, so it only had one eye.

10:29 Well, his character.

10:31 I know. Still the same amount of specialness to her, though.

10:37 Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. So I don't. I think this is. That was combined with the next question, but the next question was, how did you feel when the next one was born? So that's. You answered that question.

11:08 Really? Yeah, but I can talk a little bit more on it. Okay. When. When Ben was born, it was a little bit different than when Sophie was born, because then, like, seeing a boy and having a baby brother instead of a baby sister or only knowing females in the family, at least other than my dad was, like, so foreign to us, and we were just so confused by it. We're like, why does he look so different? You know? Because we would go around, and my mom would. She would prepare us with the tools of, like, changing his diaper, and you'd play with him, and we'd. We'd like to be, like, midi moms. So Addy and Sophie and I would all, like, take turns. I remember Addy came up with this chart, and she was like, this is your task, Catherine. You are going to dress him on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Because she was. She loved to be the leader. And we said, abby, why can't I come up with the char? And she'd say, because I'm the oldest and I'm in charge, if you like to be bossy like that.

12:16 Well, that makes sense.

12:18 Yeah. But I can see why she was like that. It was, you know, that idea of like, I'm the oldest. I'm the ruler of the household. So, yeah, we had this chart of who would do what for Ben. So we like to be the mini moms. The mini moms. And whenever we got the task of changing Ben, which was always the worst job, really. Why does he look so different? We wouldn't understand, you know?

12:48 Did somebody explain that to you? I mean, how did they explain that to you?

12:53 I mean, my parents did explain it to us. They're like, he is a boy. And this is, you know, this is why a boy is built differently than a girl. And the differences between a boy and a girl, we. We learned a lot through books. Like, my parents just loved reading. To us, there were these, like, Al Sebeska books, I don't know if you know that children's book author, but those were our favorite because they were about, like, fairies and forests, and that was our favorite thing to read about. So, yeah, we just learned a lot through books, and it was a good way to learn because you saw the picture and, yeah, we were able to learn in that way.

13:36 Yeah. That's great. Your parents sound wonderful.

13:41 Yeah, they really were.

13:52 So how old were you when your brother was born?

13:56 So when Ben was born, I think I was around six or maybe like five and a half.

14:03 Uh huh.

14:04 Yeah.

14:07 So that must have been a big surprise, that he looked so different.

14:13 It definitely was a surprise, yeah. The thing I remember most about Ben being born was that because my mom almost had Sophie in the car with Ben's pregnancy, she was, like, extra cautious. So every single week she would be, Stephen, I think he's going to be born now. And she would go to the hospital, and then we would be so excited because we're like, oh, baby brother's coming. But then she would call us up and she'd be like, no, it was actually false labor or false contractions. I don't know those terms, but, yeah, false labor. Just because any kind of symptoms that she thought were associated with labor, she would go to the hospital and take the precautions. Same thing to happen.

15:06 Yeah.

15:07 Especially after Sophie.

15:09 Yeah.

15:10 But that was one of the things I remember most. One of the times I was in preschool and I remember my dad, like, rushing to preschool and pulling me out early. He's like, we gotta go to the hospital right now. Ben's gonna be born. And I was so excited. And then just that, like, level of disappointment I felt when I got home. And I was like, today was the day, you know, because I was so excited. And I told everyone at preschool, I was like, I gotta go. I'm gonna go meet my baby brother. And then the next day, I had to go to preschool and say, you know, he actually didn't come. Sorry, guys.

15:47 When he didn't come, it must have been disappointing.

15:50 It was disappointing, but I. It made up for it because it was so exciting the day he finally did come.

15:58 Yeah.

15:58 Which he came in a snowstorm. The best of conditions. Right. I just remember we were at home, my grandmother was over, and the worst, worst snowstorm, it was February 12, 2026. I want to say. Does that make sense? 2006? Yeah, yeah, I think around that. Or 2004. 2006. Somewhere between the time and. Yeah, just like one of the worst snowstorms. My parents had to go to the hospital in those conditions. Addie was really the only baby that came smoothly because I also caused my mom, like, complications. She had to actually go by ambulance. Ambulance. Because her stomach was hurting so bad. My mom always tells me she knows, so I'm a gymnast, and she was like, you were just doing gymnastics in my stomach before you were born. That's what she claims as to why I caused her complications. But, I mean, I came out all right. So that was. That was the thing she was the most worried about.

17:15 Yeah. So what. What I want to know now was, what's your role in the family now? You're not the oldest. You're not the youngest. What? What? You know, how do you each have a kind of a role in the family, and what's yours?

17:41 I was talking about this briefly with you, I think, last week or the week before, but we all kind of hold different roles in the family. Abby, for so long, was like, you know, she was the oldest, and she was that leader to us. But as we became more mature in age, we kind of learned from each other, you know, like I was telling you, there are so many things that I am so proud of Sophie about and so proud of Ben about. And Abby, of course, too. You know, Abby got her first job out of college, and she's doing so great with it. And Sophie was the captain of her varsity soccer team and, like, led her team throughout the entire season. And Ben is on varsity basketball, and he's succeeding, and he's doing great in school, and he's part of model senate at school. And just all of us are really coming into our own, and we're finding, you know, what makes us happy, and we just can learn so much from our differences while sharing that similarity of being siblings.

19:00 What is it that you're really good at? How do you see it and what you're really good at because you gave something to each of your siblings.

19:11 So my siblings always say that my talents come from how artistic and creative I am. I can see a lot of things in a creative light, and I've always loved to do all kinds of art, and, like, in a lot of my projects growing up in school, like, my teachers would always be the ones to keep my work and show it as the example, because they'd be like, this is a really, really good job. It would usually be because of possibly, like, the picture I drew, or they just loved the way I did art. So that was one thing. We all took piano also growing up. I don't know if I mentioned this, so I took piano for 13 years, and then Abby took piano the longest. She did it for about 15 years. Sophie and Ben kind of wanted, once they got into middle school, they wanted to explore more of the sports side of activities, so they did piano the least. But we all grew up with piano lessons because my mom and my dad wanted us to have that musical music, musical ability. And in a way, my mom and my dad always wanted to give us the things that they didn't have growing up. So my dad, when he was 40, he had to take up music lessons all by himself and learn how to play the guitar and learn how to play the piano. And he's so fantastic at it. He has that creative brain where he can hear a song on the radio and just play. Play the chords on the piano, and it's so amazing. But that was all taught to him by himself. And he just thinks, you know, how good could I have been if I was given this when I was young? So that was the philosophy he adopted when he enrolled us all in piano lessons when we were in kindergarten. And they just never wanted to have any doubts of what our abilities could have been if we weren't given those tools. So they always give it. And I'm so thankful for that because I don't. I don't thank them enough, and I really, really should, but I should just sit down one day and say, like, thank you for always giving us, like, all of the tools that you wanted us to have to be great in life and find out what we loved. Even Sophie and Ben, you know, they didn't stick with piano, but at least they were given that tool to explore, you know? And same thing with sports. I'm so thankful that there was never a sport that I brought up to my parents, and they turned it down, and they said, no, you can't do soccer. You can't do this. You can't do that. They were always so willing to be accepting of our interests and accommodate them in any way that they could and help us. And that was something so special.

22:09 That's why you're such a wonderful person. You had great parents, and, you know, and your family is so great, and you're very lucky. Not everybody has that. You're very lucky. But they sound like such loving parents, and as if they were able to give you everything they wanted to, too.

22:34 Yeah. And I know a class Gloria was talking about, if you were to leave this interview for someone, like, who would you leave it for? And you can think of this in your interview, too, Susan, but I would definitely leave this for my parents. And just in honor of them and all they've done, not just for my siblings, of course, I leave this interview for my siblings, too, to know. For them to know all the ways that they impacted me in my life and will continue to impact me in my life. But a lot of it is for my parents, too, because it's only when you get older that you really appreciate all of the ways to which they were such good parents. And now that I'm at college, it's sad, but I think. And I'm like, you know, I. There were so many things about my childhood that I took for granted, and it's only when you're at college and you're not surrounded by your immediate family anymore that you realize, you know, the things that you miss. Like, for example, Sophie and I did gymnastics together. I remember I told you about that.

23:46 Yes.

23:47 And sometimes we trained so hard at such a young age. We were so fascinated by gymnastics that we would go probably 13 to 15 hours a week. And when you're, like, nine or ten, that's a lot of commitment. Like, think a young gymnast body going 13 to 15 hours a week in training and running and doing strength and conditioning, and it built our bodies to be very strong, which is something I'm thankful for. But in a way, it took away part of our childhood because we didn't get to see friends as much, and we really became so close, and we became each other's best friends because of all that time we would spend in the gym together.

24:31 But you're so lucky. That's so great.

24:34 I know. And I could talk on my experience in gymnastics. And I stayed in gymnastics for a while. I stayed in it up until I was in high school, and I did varsity my freshman year. But then due to, like, some, I didn't really like the environment and the coaching wasn't the best at my school, so I just focused on coaching from that point on in my life. But I could speak on my gymnastics experience. But the one thing that I wanted to say was that when Sophie and I were younger, although we would go to gymnastics super, super late into the night, I think it was like we'd be getting out around 845, so we wouldn't be getting home until nine. And that's, you know, you're, you're in middle school and you still have to do assignments. Not as much as high school, obviously. And my whole entire family would wait up at 09:00 so that we could have family dinner every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Oh, my poor father must have been so hungry by 09:00. I'm sure he took us on Wednesday, Friday. But they did it because they loved us and they did it because they thought that that was important for us to eat together. I'm really happy that they did that. And in so many of the ways that they made these accommodations in my life growing up are ways that I want to incorporate into my own family when I have it, because they are really special.

26:13 Yes. That is really special.

26:17 I know. It definitely teaches me a lot about, like, what I would love to do in my own family when I start it, so. Yeah, it's crazy how family can shape future family and traditions and.

26:29 Well, it's nice that you have that, those wonderful memories so that you can pass it on.

26:36 Yeah. I'll always hold those memories close. Definitely.

26:41 Good. That's great.

26:44 Yeah.

26:47 So those are the only questions I had. Is there anything else you want to talk, say about your family? And, I mean, you've said a lot and, I mean, I have a really good idea of what your family.

27:05 Yeah.

27:07 If there's anything you want to add, just.

27:10 I could just, I could speak just briefly on my relationship with my sisters and the excitement that I have that we will always have this strong sister bond. Sophie, I told you, is coming to UMass next year.

27:30 I know.

27:31 So that's going to be so exciting because we've already planned out the times that we get to go see each other, obviously, with having our own friends, but that's super, super exciting. Different dorms. I guess we will. So I'm going to be living off campus in a house, and she's going to be living on campus just close to campus. So. Yeah. That sister Bond is just something that I'm so excited for us to carry through life.

28:02 Yeah.

28:03 And it doesn't put down my relationship with my brother because, of course, I'm so happy about my relationship with my brother. But sisters just have this way of, you know, getting to know each other. And of course, I miss them when I'm here at college, but I know I'll see them soon. And we always pick up right where we left off when we see each other. And we go out and we share a coffee and we chat and we talk about boys. Still not so much because I have a boyfriend. They'll say, how's Garrett? He's good. And my mom always says, she says when you guys all get husbands, your husbands can be friends and you can do things together. And that's just a part of life I'm so excited for.

28:56 Yeah, that'll be nice.

28:59 Yeah, definitely. And then that's everything. But thank you so much for interviewing me. And your questions were fantastic.

29:11 I hope so. I wasn't sure what to do, but that was both interviews, I think, were really good.

29:18 Oh, they were so good. It's so nice to talk to you always, Susan.