Timothy Conley and Sean Higginbotham

[00:00] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Hi, my name is Tim Conley and I'm 55 years old. It's Monday, April 25, 2022. I live in Ozark, Missouri.

[00:16] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: My name is Sean Higginbotham. I'm 43 years old. It's Monday, April 25, 2022. I live in Ozarks, Missouri. So how did you two meet?

[00:36] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, we met by me coming back into the restoration program to get back in. And that's when I had met Shawn, which was in the program itself already, and it would have been my second time going into the program, but by talking to different chaplains and stuff like that that run the program, it wasn't a great fit for that program at that time to come back into it. It's not. What I actually needed was not that structure anymore. I knew God and where my faith was and how my life was going. I just relapsed on alcohol, and my way back out of it was to have the accountability. And so I went back into victory mission itself, and I went to a program called Boot Camp that they have, and it gets you back on track, gets you back employed, and gets you where your accountability and your strength lies in working and feeling better about yourself, being employed and making money for yourself, which changed my life. So, basically, victory mission had saved my life twice so far. I'm very proud.

[01:54] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: We met. I was already in the program, which I, too, have been in twice, and I was actually removed the second time and transitioned over into the boot camp, freeside boot camp, where I did some close talking with the chaplains, visiting through my church, and we figured out that probably the best thing for myself to do would be to get a job. So they helped me through the roadblocks of life that I so many times couldn't get over, and I finally got over them, and that's where I'm at today.

[02:40] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Hisham, what is the kindest person that you had in your life that taught you the most?

[02:48] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Do you mean like as in growing up or as in now?

[02:50] TIMOTHY CONLEY: As in growing up or now or most inspiration to you?

[02:54] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: The most inspiration person I had my entire life was my aunt. She passed away a couple of months ago, and she's with God, so I'm okay with it today, I would have to say. I can't just pick one because there's a whole list. That list starts and finishes in the same place. There's so many of them. You've been real helpful to me, Tim. Then the most kindest person I'd have to say is Noah Husky.

[03:27] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yes, absolutely.

[03:28] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: You know Bobby Mitchell, Mark McNally Brian. Brian Borkoff. I mean, the list just goes on. Sean Zurvik. I mean, really, if I really put it into perspective, it would probably be Kevin Stratton, you know, that's my go to guy. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's where I'm at. Yes, he is. Are there any expenses from your past that helped prepare you for the current crisis?

[04:07] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Any experiences? Yeah, well, you know, one that actually stands out the most for me was when I was twelve years old. I used to shoot heroin in a 14 year old girl that was hooking and it made me never want to do that drug itself. I did opiates and never went as far as to not have the money for it. So to go to heroin and shoot needle. So that right there inspired me not to do something that would have probably killed me.

[04:42] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Amen. Tim, I can kind of relate to you with that because I have a brother that's, he gets sick. He can't even focus on a daily basis. So it's helped me to clean harder, you know, and stay away. Yeah, that was a rough one.

[05:07] TIMOTHY CONLEY: If you were to have a happy place, you could think about when things are going bad or going wrong for you, you're thinking about, you know, relapsing or whatnot. Is there a happy place that you can think about that changes that for you and so that you don't relapse and stuff again?

[05:24] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: That's a. That's a two. I have two answers for that. It would be victory mission because I'm surrounded by people that I can talk to and that understand on my level of what I'm going through. And then there's the well church where I'm a member of that I get so much love from on a. I mean, it doesn't matter if I walk through there with the dirtiest clothes in the world, they're there to hug me and love me.

[05:46] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yeah. That's a wonderful church. Such a beautiful place.

[05:48] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yes, it is. Can you tell me about the person, or, excuse me, who has made the biggest impact on your life? And what's one thing they taught you?

[06:01] TIMOTHY CONLEY: The biggest impact on my life was actually my brother Mike when I was young and I was going to a hard direction with my life at that point. He was actually Whitewater raft guide for a big company called Access to Adventure. And he got me involved in that. So I get away from everybody I was hanging around with. I went up to Coloma, California area and went to guide school and became a raft guide. And that was probably the best seven years of my life. In the essence of being away from all the bad negativity in the big city where I'm from to being up in the mountains where people didn't do that, that was a great experience. And he was the one that actually took me and did that for me. And the sad part about it, he actually od'd on heroin. Another good reason why I don't do heroin. He owed on that, and it took his life. And I was very devastated with that. That's what took me and put me back into a state of mind of relapse and drinking and just trying to medicate my problem, which was very hard.

[07:16] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Well, mine would be, to be honest with you, it would be my childhood girlfriend. She's incredibly smart. She's a great, great person. We're great friends. She's married now. She's never done a drug in her life. She has two bachelor's degrees. I moved here because of her, and I got married. Left her in the blue. She got married, and she has a kid now. And I think of her like a sister, you know, more than anything today. That's awesome. I can, man, I can talk to her about anything. She has helped me so much. She's the one that's always said, sean, why? Why are you doing this? You know, why, why, why? And that's how that why was always a why. But the one thing I learned from Riz is that I can be very honest and know that people do understand when you're being honest, whether they act like they don't or not, they do.

[08:17] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Right? So just to have that would be fantastic, man. And, you know, she knows exactly who you are, being that you were young and dating her at that time, till now, she knows who exactly you are. You didn't have to fake anything or falsify anything to her because she already knew, which is awesome to have in your life. I'm very thankful you have that in your life.

[08:38] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yes.

[08:44] TIMOTHY CONLEY: I had my wife, of course, you know, I got married very young. I had my first kids very young, and she stuck with me the whole time. And now she's still in California, and I had left her. Left her there, knowing that my addiction and my past and how the damage I've done to her. And she still won't get a divorce. But I don't want to put her through any more of that damage. I don't want her to have to suffer anymore. But she's been a very big inspiration. You know, if I talk to her, she's always trying to be upbeat with it and tell me everything's going to be okay and just think about the positive. And tomorrow, don't think about what you did in the past, which is a big thing because being in an addiction, addictive personality, where I try to mask things, you know, the addition is a big thing. And, you know, we have that problem where we would rather mask our pain than to hit it straight on. We have a big problem with that. Or I do. Which, you know, being able to talk to her or one of my kids is a big thing where, you know, they can talk me out of it and just remind me, you know, about my grandchildren and everything else and what I'd be missing out on if I went back to that. Right.

[10:11] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: But Tim, I mean, I gotta say to you, man, I know this may not, it may not mean nothing to anybody, but it means a lot to me to say it to you. You've been a great inspiration in my life. You don't try to. I don't see you masking anything. I see you type of guys coming and helping. You're always smiling, dude. So I love you for that, man.

[10:29] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Okay? Very much. You've been a big, big part of my life since we had meth. Watch you be able to grow and become back into the man that you should be to begin with. Devoted man to your church and all your friends and family, which I think is very, very inspirational.

[10:48] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Well, I left out one person when I was talking about I met a girl. Now that is, she is on the same category with the one that I methemenous. And she's awesome. She's.

[11:02] TIMOTHY CONLEY: That's good.

[11:03] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yeah.

[11:04] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Is she a devoted christian friend as she is?

[11:11] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Well, let's just say that's a work in progress, you know, that's okay.

[11:17] TIMOTHY CONLEY: We're all in work.

[11:18] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: But I can tell you this, as soon as she knows anything of any hears of me doing anything, anything positive or anything, it doesn't matter if she sits in a car for 5 hours until I come out, she wants to be part of that.

[11:33] TIMOTHY CONLEY: That's awesome.

[11:33] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: And that's what's awesome to me. She was on the phone with me before I even opened my eyes this morning. You know, you got a big day now. Come on. You know, maybe not nervous right off the bat. Oh, man. So, yeah, that's good.

[11:52] TIMOTHY CONLEY: You know, we have that in our life and that kind of a relationship with somebody. How inspirational that can be. Anyway, just to know that you don't want to go backwards, you want to go forwards with that person. In that relationship and build on that instead of relapsing and going back to old crazy ways. And that could be a big help.

[12:13] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Boy. That's true. Let's turn the table. Tell the person you're interview what I did. That's recording, too, huh? Oops. Well, let me just do this. Let me just do this for. Man, my whole child, my whole childhood, I pretty much was born with methamphetamines in my system. And I, same as you, were born in California or, you know, vice versa. Maybe you were raised in California, I don't know, but I was born. Yeah, there you go. See, my family's from Lamita, so we're right there in the same little spot and my drug passed is crazy, ridiculous. Crazy, ridiculous. I gave up so much and just let people walk out of my life. I ruined a marriage of ten years with three boys and just turned my back. And I can say whatever I want to say and I can act however I want to act. But the real truth is, I didn't go around them because I didn't want them to see me in that state of mind. I didn't want them to know the out of mind dad, the out of mind, you know, guy that they look to as a role model. And for a long time, I had a problem when she got remarried. Tim. I did that guy, let me tell you.

[13:45] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yeah.

[13:45] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Now. Now I kind of see him as. As a hero, super role model to. Super role model to him where I couldn't be. And for a long time, I couldn't, uh. I couldn't forgive that or let that go. I wanted to, you know, but, uh. I couldn't.

[14:05] TIMOTHY CONLEY: So now he's. He does your children well and everything else, and. And is he being strong in their lives and not doing drugs?

[14:12] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: I don't think he's ever done a drug to him. I don't know that part of his life. I've never. We've never had a conversation because he holds a resentment to me for the. For not being there towards them. And maybe I'm just going out on them, using my faith here and saying that. But he's never gave his chance. He's never gave himself a chance to know me, and I've never given him a chance to know the real me because I've always been on some kind of altercation in methamphetamines or in prison. But I can say by. Through what I've learned here at victory mission and the chaplains and my preacher and all the support my mentors all that is that I have to forgive him and go on, you know, and not hold something against him or try to take something from him that he's truly earned.

[15:12] TIMOTHY CONLEY: That's being a big man there. That's really good.

[15:16] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: It's taking a long time to get there, let me tell you. So. But with that. With that past. With that past that I started to talk about and veered away from comes a lot, a lot of prison sentences, a lot of things that were taken from me. I've lost everything I've had more than once, over and over and over.

[15:34] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's just something we go through being, you know, addicts. We'll get sober and clean and we'll build our lives back up, and then all of a sudden, we'll just fall again. And being an addict, we're willing to just walk away from everything just to get that high. And I've done it many, many times, you know, I've been locked up quite a few times myself. And when I was young, of course, I grew up in homeless shelters with my family. And being that you grow into that kind of atmosphere, there's going to be drugs. I started doing methamphetamine when I was twelve, and I started doing a lot of bad things and stuff. My first charge ever was attempted murder when I was 13. That was crazy.

[16:22] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: I can only imagine. I think at 615, they come and arrested me about 02:00 in the morning for vehicular manslaughter. And I wasn't even driving. My whole world was gone. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know what to think. My grandmother just passed away, you know, my mom was in prison for the umpteenth time. I think she was in federal prison at that time.

[16:49] TIMOTHY CONLEY: So, yeah, that's been a rocky road. You know, I did a lot of damage to my children from that kind of abuse that I would put out, you know, more neglect, really. You know, I played baseball most of my life, and my kids got into baseball, and I was getting high so much that I wouldn't even go watch them play. I would rather be getting high, which.

[17:16] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Is sad, you know, you said you played baseball or whatever, so that's probably what they probably like to do, too. Well, mine, my youngest son, I think this is where my turning point started, honestly. When my youngest son went to pre kindergarten, I think it was, and they were having show and tell, and there were some dads there, of course. Where was I at him. I was out getting high. My little boy stands up and says he wants to be like his dad. Well, when my ex wife told me that, I was like, yes. And she said, but you know what he said? And I said, no. He just. Yeah, well, yeah, I know what he said, but what are you trying to say? He stood up and said he wanted to be a drug dealer just like his dad. I think that's where my whole life shattered right there. And I went deeper into my addiction to come back out of it, I guess. You know, I don't think any father ever wants to hear those words.

[18:09] TIMOTHY CONLEY: No. And, you know, for you to actually live through that, basically, when we go deep, we go deep. It seems to me that every time I go back into that game or play that game, I get deeper, and it's harder for me to get out every time. You mentioned Noah Husky earlier, I was on the street not too long ago, drinking, doing stupid, and I walked across by his gym, didn't even know that's where he worked out at. He came running out there and talked to me for a minute and prayed with me. And that was the day I changed my view on life and went back into Richard mission.

[18:51] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: That was the day I was in the restoration program when Noah came in there. Can you imagine that?

[18:57] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, man, that's so cool.

[18:58] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: To where he's at today. It's so awesome to watch him. He is such a great, great inspiration. He really is. Bobby Mitchell. Bobby Mitchell, Dylan, Dale. All of them are so cool, you.

[19:14] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Know, and all these guys went through the programs like we did, you know, and they didn't get removed, like, you know, united. But we're still here and we're still fighting and we're still kicking them. We're trying to better our lives and become better men this way and to have that in your corner, you know, all these guys, you know, Bobby Mitchell, Noah, Charlie, all these guys still in your corner is, you know, praying for you and pushing you up and knocking the back of the head when you're going dumb, you know, it's a blessing for us to have that. A lot of people that have the addiction and hasn't been through a program like this and trying to beat it on their own, they don't have that. All they're doing is having their neighbor tell them, hey, man, let's get high. They don't have somebody wanting to risk everything just to make sure that you're okay, which is fantastic to have. And I'm so blessed, and we're so blessed to have that on forum.

[20:08] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Imagine. Yes. I say, do you interact with Jason Henson very much.

[20:14] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, yeah. I love that guy, man.

[20:15] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: I love him, too. For a minute, I absolutely thought I'd never talk to him again, but when they removed me, we were waiting to do, like, a movie or something, and I caught him at the door, but they had already removed me, so I caught him at the door, and he looked at me, and the way it came across to me when he said what I'm about to say, I got infuriated, but he said, hey, just get a job and roll on the.

[20:46] TIMOTHY CONLEY: What.

[20:47] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: In what, you know? But, hey, I would have done that.

[20:51] TIMOTHY CONLEY: 25 years ago if I'd have known to just do that.

[20:54] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: It was those simple words, though. This just what you were saying about, like, Bobby and all them. Them guys can say the simplest thing to get through the easiest way, or actually, they can say the most simplest thing to get through the hardest head there is, you know?

[21:08] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Right. You know, basically, they all lived it, too. They know what works and what doesn't work. And the restoration program and to learn your faith, you know, I didn't have that. I didn't have no faith in anything like that. You know, pretty much ran with the devil most of my life. And me saying that, you know, I didn't have that relationship with God. I just didn't have it and didn't want it. And then, of course, you know, when I went to the program, I was in West Plains, where I was living, and with a toxic girl who drank the drugs. I went into detox in the mental ward there in West Plains, which is a great place, man, it really helped me. And they were telling me about this program here at Victory mission. So I had an interview with them, and the whole time in my head, I'm thinking, man, I don't want to go to this. I just wanted to get sober, show that I could do it and keep on going my route, my ride, just to please my dad, my family. So I actually was on a phone interview with them, trying not to get in, and lo and behold, they accepted me. So I'm like, oh, man, I gotta go. So they actually paid the hospital there in West Plains, which is fantastic. Paid for me, an Uber driver all the way here.

[22:29] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Wow.

[22:30] TIMOTHY CONLEY: And we had no charge and put me into the program. When I went into the program, you know, I didn't know. I didn't know what to do or anything like that. So I just went in, told them my name and everything, and gave my id. Well, they put me on the free side. Didn't know I was going into a restoration program, and I'm getting ready to leave next morning. I get up, I'm like, no, I'm not staying here. I just hitchhike back and go home, you know. And I started to walk out, and Jim Crow, I'm sure you've met him, right? Anyway, he was an old resident supervisor back then, and he was standing at the front desk looking for me. And I walked him by, and he was asking Michael, little Michael, where I was at, if he had seen me. And he goes, well, he's standing right behind you. I'm thinking, man, I could run out the door right now. But I stood there and I'm like, okay. So I introduced myself, and he took me over to the restoration side, which was fantastic. I get over there, I felt more comfortable. It's different than what the 30 side is. I started. I talk to people and stuff. Of course, we have those packets that we have to do about our bible verses and stuff like that that we read. I did not do it. You know, I'm thinking to myself that I'm out of here. I'm not doing this. I give it a week, and I'm gone. You know, let me fatten up a little bit, you know, get some food in me. So I'm there, and it's a Sunday, and we got to turn our packets in and everything. I went outside, and I'm out in our prairie garden there, and I just got on my knees and I asked, God, you know, give me a sign, something that you want me to stay here or I'm leaving. And I had a nice warm feeling go all over me, and I couldn't stop weeping. And I was kind of, you know, 55 years old, man. I grew up in an era where you don't cry. So, you know, there was no dresser back there, so I went behind that dresser and hid as I'm weeping. And then I had to go in and I told Noah and Charlie what had happened and why I haven't got this packet done. And they gave me tons of grace. They told me, you know, just get the packet done as best you can and turn it in and everything's fine. And so, you know, I mean, the packet only took me about an hour to even do, which was no. No headache or anything. Took it back in there. And that was actually my experience on staying in that program. Of course, you know, I made it all the way into where I was heading to phase three, and I had slipped up and drank and got removed from the program, of course, you know, at that point you get a six month suspension. When I left that program, of course, I went back on the street, started drinking, decided I shouldn't be doing this anymore. So I went into. I got ahold of a lady named Nancy hall, which is in new beginnings, and very lovely lady. She really did me right quite a few times. I drank four different times on four different occasions, got removed, and she had let me back in, which was fantastic. And then, of course, you know, my addicted personality, I drank again and was taking the steps to just be myself again. Alcoholic, you know, just going down that crazy road. I got removed and I think a week I'm on the street doing that, and I get a call from my brother. Then my little brother hung himself in his garage. So I went a little bit deeper, wanted to really mask it. Covid was going on pretty good then, and we couldn't travel to go to his funeral in California, so I just masked it and drank and drank and drank. And that's when I ran about, you know, if, you know, husky come running out there. And that's what changed my life. I came back into the program. He told me, you know, try that. And really it's my fault that I didn't get back in the program because, you know, while I was in there on the first 30 side, while they were making the decision to do it, I was not doing my classes. I wasn't. I wasn't pushing myself forward to everything I was supposed to do to get back into the program. So really it was my fault. It wasn't theirs whatsoever. It was my doing that blocked me from going back into the restoration program. And then Bobby, of course, got me in the hall and told me about boot camp and everything. And so I decided to go for that. And I did that, which was fantastic. You know, I got to see everybody again, you know, Jason Hanson and Dave and pastor Dave and everything else in the. And got to sit down and talk to them and build that relationship back with them knowing that I fell off and they didn't judge me for it, which, as you know, being an addictive person, when we have that disease that we don't think anybody's going to forgive us for what we've done and for them to give you that hope and that blessing and that reassurance that, man, we're only human. And they sent me right back in, was really, really big. So that helped me out with being able to stick with the program and have the accountability and stuff like that was pretty cool.

[27:51] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: That's awesome. Yeah. You said pastor Dave, you know, of course, my story kind of goes the same way. I've been there three times. I was. I didn't even realize I was going to make parole so fast, right? So I'm looking for places to go, right? And I get turned down by everywhere, you know, and parole officer. I see this call out, and there's my name, and I'm like, oh, man. So I go up there, you know, I'm thinking, they're going to tell me, well, you didn't get parole now, you know, and it was a victory mission. I had a phone interview with him, and it was Mark McNally, and I do believe it was Charlie Roman that was on. On the other end of the phone. And so I got accepted. So I ride the bus, of course. Addictive personality. I got high at the bus station right out of prison. Got high. You know, I get there, and I'm freaking out. So the people that brought me, I'm like, I'm telling. I'm going to eat, and, you know, mark being mark, he didn't want to let me go. He's like, nah, I don't know. And I'm like. I told him a lie, you know, and he let me go. I never showed back up. So then I come back, and I got in the program, and, boy, it was just a little while. There was. All of us were in there. There was a lot of them. Some of them are in heaven now, and some of them are just doing really well. And I messed up. I had a friend there that had a couple sodas, and he let me drink one. He was gone all day, so I thought, I'll drink this other one, then I'll go buy one. Well, I ended up getting kicked out for stealing. Right? So there's a whole lot of other. Went into it, too. But I'm not even, I guess, really, truly that. That story, as at this point in my life, is really just. No, because really, all here, all they ever did was just try to put me on the right path, you know? And I finally. I finally picked up on that path, and that's where I'm at today.

[29:48] TIMOTHY CONLEY: That's awesome.

[29:49] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yeah.

[29:50] TIMOTHY CONLEY: It's an honor for me to be able to watch you do that, watch you grow into the christian man that you are today and how you started out, which is totally different. That's night and day. That's good stuff.

[30:03] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yeah. No, man. But I said. But I shouldn't have, because I feel like when you say the word, but it knows everything you just said. However, with Pastor Dave, in that time that they kicked me out, I come up here to talk to somebody. And Pastor Dave, I felt like was coming off aggressively at me. But that was my problem in my heart that I didn't realize because I had a lot of aggression that I was letting out on others. Right? So when we went to this boot camp or when I went to boot camp, me and Pastor Dave, there was just something there. He's just a really good guy. You know, he. I mean, John Pace, all of them, all the people that pour their time into it genuinely care.

[30:44] TIMOTHY CONLEY: They do care about us.

[30:45] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Yes, they do. Yes, they do. So they. And I mean, just like our brothers, too, Cody mathers, you know, all the guys that, all the graduates, Chris Pollard, will daughtry, all the guys truly care, you know, and that installed in my heart. Now, when I left the. This time, Tim, when I was removed, this time, I was angry again. I was angry in between my room and when I got couched. And you know what that is, you know, and. But by the time I got up off that couch, there was something in me, in my heart that was ready for that change. And it wasn't to prove anybody wrong. It wasn't to get back at anybody. It was time to change the. You know, and the things that you said and then the things that have others have said. And in the way that I. That I present myself now that that anger and that aggression is gone, I just don't. You have to really push me to get me to say anything to you now. I'll just sit there now and just. Okay. You're right. But Bobby helped me see it, too. My point to that is, Pastor Dave, I love that man.

[32:02] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, yeah.

[32:02] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: I really do. Yeah. He. I haven't seen him in a while, but that's another story, another blooper.

[32:11] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Right? So now, Pastor David, he is fantastic. You know, I've went into different programs, you know, with new beginnings and everything, and the structure that victory admission actually gives you and the people that are embraced into your life have all went through the same thing. All the ones that I dealt with, Bob Mitchell and Noah Husky and Charlie, even Mark McNelly have stories and they can actually understand and relate to where we were at and where we're trying to get to and how to help us get there, which is fantastic because, you know, somebody that didn't have that problem or was, you know, not knowing what an addiction actually is or feels like besides reading out of a book wouldn't have no idea how to show you that way. There and being, you know, an addict, I don't want to listen to somebody that's never been an addict. I mean, I just don't. You have no idea what that's like. You're preaching to me and you have no experience. You know, having those guys in your corner that had that experience and understand what it takes to get through that and to build a better life for yourself, it's just phenomenal. It's priceless. It really is.

[33:30] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: The patience that they have is what really sticks out to me because I'm a person that is repetitive, you know, I don't like repetitive work.

[33:39] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, yeah.

[33:40] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: But with that said, because we're going to know that these guys are so patient because there's been a million times I've just flew off the deep end for no reason. And they've helped to install me in that. So, yeah, the greatness is awesome.

[33:55] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yeah. Their understanding and ability to take you to the next level is really, really good. And the grace they have while I was in that program and going through it, you know, I became an RS.

[34:12] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Congratulations.

[34:13] TIMOTHY CONLEY: You know, I'm on the RS phone talking to girls and everything else, and I got caught up. Of course, I got removed from the RS team and getting the phone, I had to go back into soul detox and blah, you know, all that crazy stuff. But, you know, I've had girls come to the mission and start yelling at Charlie, trying to get me to leave with her. I mean, it's just. It was crazy. It was just the most insane thing. But they gave grace to me, and instead of booting me out and put me back on the street, they sat me down and talked to me and asked me what was I thinking? Apparently, I wasn't.

[34:50] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: That word change sticks out. I just want to ask you, what did that look like to you then? Were you ready for change then?

[34:58] TIMOTHY CONLEY: You know what? Like I said, you know, I wasn't really ready in the essence of change like that, you know, when I did a phone interview, I was actually trying to tell him everything that I. I would think that would backfire and I wouldn't get involved in this program. Apparently, I said everything right, not knowing that I was saying everything right. You know, I got accepted into the program. And then, you know, being in that program for the first week, my whole mentality was, I'm leaving. You know, I was out. I'm just there to take you out of bed and get that food in my gut, to fatten up and get back out down the street and do my thing. Of course, you know, I had, you know, the Holy Spirit or God or Jesus, you know, pass over me and make me weep like that as a son. And I did. And that's actually the moment that I decided that God was real. And I want to go with that. It's funny how when you're in your addiction and you witness things and death and everything like that, you know that the devil exists, but knowing that you don't, you know, I didn't think about the other hand being there's goddesse. I just knew that there was a devil and how horrible he was. I didn't look at the whole aspect of God being there for you the whole time, which he was. Saved me from going to prison the rest of my life many times. Until you get to that moment where it hits you like a ton of bricks. What he has done for us changed our lives and made us worthy enough to accept him and go to the kingdom of heaven and live with him forever. When you don't know that, you don't care. I changed a lot. I was a very violent person. I fought a lot all my life, and here I find myself now. I don't want to fight anybody, and I just want to talk people out of it.

[37:07] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Good feeling.

[37:08] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yeah. That's so good. I'm so blessed that way.

[37:10] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: I know.

[37:12] TIMOTHY CONLEY: You know, it's just amazing how when you accept something and, you know, I never read the Bible or anything, and when you read the Bible, how it changes your whole path, you're like, wow, how could I not know this? How could I have not read this book before? But I just got lost. And, you know, we were. We were that lost, you know, and I watch people back then, you know, how they follow their face and how I thought it was just a joke. Like, you know, I just thought that they were crazy. And I guess now I'm crazy.

[37:47] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: You know, in this season of my life, I've learned that I cannot. I can't be around people like that.

[37:54] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Oh, yeah.

[37:55] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: But I will say this. When they call me on the phone, they're like, I don't know what's going on. What have I done? I use the words, I believe in you, I love you, and you can do this. And those are such powerful words, those little phrases there, other than God is the reasoning. And where my feet are in the path that they're in now. You know what I mean? Those words are so powerful.

[38:24] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Yes. And how much you change your life just bye. By having somebody tell you that. I've watched people, young men, grow and try to change their life. And the excitement and the sparkle in your eye when you tell them that you're proud of them for the steps that they're taking to change their life for better. And how proud I am to be able to see that. And the sparkle in their eye just gets a thousand times better, just that much more motivated you to become better and to not fall back into addiction.

[38:58] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Well, Tim, I want to tell you thank you. I love you, brother. And I look forward to seeing you in heaven.

[39:03] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Amen.

[39:04] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: And I will be with you the whole way.

[39:07] TIMOTHY CONLEY: Absolutely, you will.

[39:08] SEAN HIGGINBOTHAM: Amen.