Tom Sloper and Virginia Friday

00:06 Hi, my name is Tom sloper. I'm 72 years old. Today is Saturday December 12th. 2020. I'm in Los Angeles, California, and I'm speaking with Virginia Friday my mother.

00:24 I am Virginia Friday.

00:28 I'm 91 years old. I am speaking from Rochester, New York.

00:36 Where I live?

00:39 What up?

00:43 And you're speaking with I'm speaking with my son Thomas my first born child.

00:52 Great. All right, so I'm

00:57 We finally got here to storycorps. This is very interesting experience. I have some questions for you Mom. So I'm especially interested in hearing about your childhood. What was your childhood like

01:15 Okay, I grew up on a dairy farm. It was my grandfather's Grandpa Chamberlain.

01:24 My father was the youngest of there for boys and Emerson Kate for the parents of the other three boys had left home. And so he was left to take care of the farm with my grandfather and

01:54 So it was it was very nice on the farm. I thought I was an only child until I was eight.

02:04 And I

02:07 Was very happy on the farm. I'm sure my mother said she always she didn't worry about where I was because she could hear me talkin to myself when I was when I was outside. She had the windows open.

02:23 And one time I

02:25 All the Tulips

02:28 And brought them to her as a gift except the stems were only as big as as long as my little hand and stuff.

02:44 I don't know how rude she was with that gift.

02:55 My father had gone to Alfred University and taken a short course on Farming and he learned about and put into practice on the farm strip farming rotating crops.

03:18 Which is rotating crops means that you grow a different 2.

03:25 A different crop in the in each field every year because each drop takes its own nutrients out of the soil and the people in the Dust Bowl in the in Mid Country had always planted the same thing and depleted all of them.

03:52 The same things out of the soil and that's what destroyed their soil actually of it blew away because they kept trying their they're kept trying to get the same nutrients.

04:17 But each prep.

04:21 Wanted its own nutrients

04:24 And different ones and that's that's what my dad learned and that's what he put into practice and it was a dairy farm. We had a herd of about

04:36 24/2 cows

04:40 The Firm was about 125 Acres

04:46 A small farm

04:51 When I went to school Grandpa Chamberlain told me he went with me the first day. I went to a one-room schoolhouse.

05:01 He walked with me and it was called cross Lots. We walked through our pastor and then Uncle marks.

05:11 Uncle Mark so I am going to the school house

05:19 And and Zoe talk me the way to go.

05:25 And my cousin's Uncle Mark's daughters teasing me a tease me about that. Yeah, I was just a big baby cuz grandpa had to walk me to school, but he thought he just walk me and talk to me how to go by myself and where to go and how to get there.

05:47 The school was we were on a road.

05:53 That went West

05:58 And there was another road parallel to ours that went West and then a road which is now called Kingsley Road went perpendicular and the school was halfway between those two roads, so I had to go west end.

06:20 Somewhat

06:23 North to get to the school and this was in Wyoming, New York Rite, Wyoming New York right now

06:37 Town of Middlebury

06:42 The Village was

06:46 The village was east of us.

06:49 And then there was another The Village was in a valley and there was another Hill on the east.

06:57 So when I heard the story about the house with the golden windows, I understood that story you have you ever heard that story? I don't know what that is. Okay. It was a

07:15 A person who lived on one of the Hills

07:18 Looked out one afternoon and saw a house across the valley.

07:26 Up on the hill and it the windows were shining like the old. Well, I want to see that house.

07:35 Text all day walk down his Hill across the valley up the other Hill and when he got up there it was it was.

07:49 Oh, wait a minute. It was the other one. Well, anyway, I've got it confused about what time of day The Ed golden windows. So it was

08:05 Like sunrise to sunset effect, of course in cities where you look at a building and there's some windows in a reflecting the Setting Sun and all that. Yeah, so it must have been that must have been a really long walk if they were golden on that side of the valley and then when he walked over and they were on the other side long walk. So you said that you were an only child until you were eight in the adopted Jim and Jim was 2 years old.

08:47 So he's six years younger than I am. How did feel about that? I was in that very happy at all.

08:57 They didn't tell me in advance.

09:01 Because of because he was my mother's.

09:07 Sisters illegitimate child which in those days was a big deal big whoop in them. So my mother said we didn't tell you because we thought you would tell the people in tell your friends at school. Well,

09:30 By this time the school had been centralized and I was going to the

09:39 School with all of the kids from the village

09:43 And I didn't have any friends because

09:47 I was afraid of all the village kids.

09:51 And I didn't so I just

09:56 Captain myself and didn't say anything to anybody practically.

10:02 And that's all I would not have said anything to anyone but

10:07 I think the reverse would be true. It would have been more more normal if they had said while we're looking for a baby to adopt.

10:15 You know and I'll announce it in advance.

10:19 We still have suddenly. Oh wee one wanting to get you a brother. And here he is.

10:28 So my my uncle need my father's.

10:36 He was the oldest with me was the oldest the next.

10:43 And he and his wife and their three daughters were there.

10:48 Visiting Grandpa and Grandma and when they came home with Jimmy.

10:53 And I remember Mary their youngest Mary and I were

11:01 We are cocoa and and bread and we were we were tearing our bread into worms and bugs and dipping it into the

11:14 Coco on having a good time and hear this screaming child came in the door.

11:24 And I I just asked I seem to be either remember or I made this up that I wanted to I wanted to go to him and say I know but I was frozen.

11:43 And didn't do anything.

11:49 And he was kind of bread while he was two at the time. You got right ready to me all the way.

12:06 Last time you called me said this is a brat. Well, I remember at your 90th birthday when he sang that song for you. Yes, I go to another question. Can you tell me about one of your happiest memories?

12:39 Well, that wasn't the day dermarite one of my happiest from when I was a child or when any time.

12:52 Well

12:56 I was happy when I got married to read I was happy to your dad and I was happy when.

13:07 I graduated from MCC.

13:13 55 I think that was an accomplishment.

13:22 How is happy when Rob was born?

13:26 Your grandson

13:32 Okay, can you tell me about someone who's had a big influence on your life? And what lessons you learned from that person?

13:43 Will my dad

13:46 It's probably the biggest influence and I learned.

13:53 He was he was a

13:57 He didn't communicate a lot, but he did.

14:05 He let me know that he loved me a lot one time I went to.

14:13 This was I had two friends. This is when I was in high school. I had two friends they were sisters.

14:22 And there they had moved down to Wyoming from Buffalo and family and they would go for the weekend spend the weekend at their sisters house the sister and her husband.

14:39 And I know they would invite me and I'd go and and Lee we always miss the bus.

14:46 Coming back home so that we had to

14:50 We had to wait and take the bus on Monday instead of.

14:57 You're not wish Mister day of school too bad. So sad I was asking about someone who had a big influence on your life. And what lessons you learned a letter, which I think I've shown you you have seen and he wrote it.

15:29 Without it didn't look in the mirror. He just wrote it backwards.

15:34 I really miss you some because no one's been asking me for money.

15:48 So yeah, he was he was my best parent. My mother was kind was fairly cold.

15:58 She wasn't cold towards you. She likes Jim. She likes boys better than girls apparently.

16:12 She whenever she

16:16 Wanted to punish me. She'd help me with a yardstick.

16:21 And

16:23 Is my cat, she'd hit me with the yardstick and she sort of it was like

16:34 I seem to remember if she didn't actually say it but yet she got the message across. Well, I don't want to hit you. I'm a nice person, but you're just so bad. I have to.

16:50 They had to hit me once to actually harm and the neighbors the house right next door to their Farmhouse had some their grandkids were visiting in there were those there was a cute girl there and so was talking with these kids and the cute girl and they were like, what are we do for fun around here in a said? I don't know. They said that field over there across the road looks really nice. Let's go over there. We went over into the field and there was a full grown crop. There might have been wheat or oats and we just started running around in the field.

17:36 And when I got back to Grandma and Grandpa's house, they gave me a spanking for ruining part of the field as part of the crop that mean Grandpa.

17:55 That was at Perry Center.

18:02 So

18:04 How about another question? How about is there any wisdom you like to pass on to your great-grandchildren?

18:15 We think that you know Lizzie and Kevin might very well have children and those are be your great-grandkids. And what would you like them to know?

18:27 I would like them to.

18:31 Have happiness in their

18:35 And their heart and

18:38 Behave themselves

18:43 The best they could but

18:46 Not

18:48 Not carry any regrets not carry any grudges.

19:02 Okay. Alright. Yeah, well.

19:08 So

19:12 I'm just going to tell you when to turn the tables a little bit. I'm going to tell you a little bit about what you have meant to me.

19:21 So you have raised me to?

19:28 Be considerate of other people. It's like, you know, I look at the world today. And so many people, you know, they they just

19:40 They're just out for her, you know what's in it for themselves and everything, but it's just because you came from good people, you know who were farmers basically, you know, the the the salt-of-the-earth kind of people and the whole Christian upbringing and everything like that it

20:08 Ice I look at people that didn't have that kind of upbringing and just running around making a mess everywhere and I believe that

20:22 It's because of you and Pop and Grandma and Grandpa that.

20:29 I have a different outlook on things from those people.

20:35 So

20:37 Anything you want to say about that before I ask you another question.

20:42 Do you remember Grandma Anna? Yes, I do.

20:50 She was a nice lady. She was a loving lady. She was I didn't quite know how to.

20:59 And how to act around her to a loving mother. I'm sorry to hear that and I didn't really know that I have a very cloudy memory of being at her apartment in.

21:23 Potato

21:25 And

21:29 Grandpa John had a harmonica and let me play the harmonica. That was my first taste of being a musician.

21:44 Was Ed Graham Anna's Place?

21:47 He actually played an accordion, haha.

21:51 He knew he he he played by ear.

21:58 What do you only knew two cars always match the music that funny but it was a nice enough guy if you like pigs beef.

22:26 I'm in a big jar of big speed in the kitchen.

22:34 But speaking of Music Grandma mother is one who showed me how to make chords on the piano. So that was the second part of my music education, either that or the violin lessons that I got in fourth grade.

22:59 So

23:04 I have I was just wondering if you had any other childhood stories cuz you talk a little bit about the the girls at school that you and your cousins.

23:20 But. What else I mean, what was that? What did you enjoy doing on the farm? Okay.

23:29 Well, I got when I got old enough, I got to go feed the cows Illini walk walk down.

23:39 The lane

23:41 Can you open the pasture gate and let the cows come in?

23:47 I am fact, I wrote a poem about that you probably

23:52 Seen that poem.

23:54 About 2,000 how my dad changed when the time change he changed their milking time in 15 minute increments 15 minute increments getting milked 15 minutes later. How long would he go with a 15 minute increments a week?

24:19 I don't know. Maybe I don't know maybe four days.

24:27 That would be easier on him.

24:32 Cows are happy to be milked cuz they were uncomfortably full they're milking time didn't come until 15 minutes. Later.

24:50 Okay.

24:54 Jimmy Graham

24:56 It's been.

24:59 A lot of weekends Graham with graham your cousin or his parents?

25:14 He was the my father's next oldest, brother.

25:21 And

25:25 And even called us the twins cuz we were two blond kids and Andre played.

25:33 We played softball in the

25:37 On the front lawn and the Tulip bed, which wasn't which the Tulips had died down by them. If they weren't In Bloom was the picture of Simone.

25:51 And

25:53 He kept he knew all of the names of the Red Wings ball players baseball players. The righteous beam they lived in Rochester and he belong to a group called The knothole Gang.

26:12 Meaning that guy that kids could get in for free or a little

26:20 Small donation. I don't know whatever Uncle Ed like baseball and

26:29 Sylvania anyway, he knew all the teams and he wrote out the team's wrote down all the names and we each other our team and we took the two terms that you know, I would be at if I was in bed, I would.

26:52 Either hit the but I was pretty good. I could hit the ball with with graham butt in gym class or get it I couldn't do anything and I didn't want to do anyting and I didn't even want to be there.

27:10 In gym class, right? And I always the one that was chosen last, you know.

27:19 So

27:22 Well, maybe that's where I get that from.

27:26 Well, well now I like to think we're in the lecture Halls were not athletes. So Graham was your favorite cousin, I guess you Uncle Mark at 5.

27:43 Three two sons and three daughters and they were a tight-knit group. So they didn't mess with me at all. They didn't they were just up the hill. Yep, but they didn't mess with me. So I was Grandma's and Graham was an only child so

28:10 He was the only cousin I buy, you know spent much time with however Ruthie was.

28:18 My second cousin and her parents

28:23 Her father was my father's cousin.

28:28 And they would come.

28:32 Maybe not every year in the summer. But one time we went to see the quintuplets.

28:40 And not Canada.

28:43 Callander Ontario and the disc or do you know about the guy I went public?

28:54 They were big news before I was born.

29:05 Jim record, Jim was more I think.

29:10 But this this family already had a bunch of children, and then she had five children all at once which was unheard of

29:23 And they were very very poor but the Canadian government.

29:31 Basically stole the children from the parents.

29:37 And I put up a a big building and a big yard and with one-way glass and had to tourists, and no water through a certain area and look through the one-way glass and see these little five girls.

30:02 Time 10 minutes

30:05 Sorry.

30:07 So

30:10 That's one place. We went one summer.

30:14 Was that so Graham figured prominently in our family much later some

30:25 A decade or

30:27 Two later. I guess he helped Papa get a job, right Esther.

30:35 Right removed from night. We lived in Niagara Falls and

30:43 The last time I

30:46 Talked to pop he told me that basically Graham saved his life by getting that job. Yes. Yes. He felt very great.

31:00 Damn

31:04 And then we won me all moved to Rochester. Then we were neighbors with Graham's family.

31:14 Well

31:16 We would get the not neighbors directly. But I mean, you know in the same town so we could go and see them every now and then.

31:28 So one of the questions I was going to ask you I realize now it's useless to ask because you were told by your father not to have any regrets. So I'm I was going to ask you if you had any regrets.

31:46 You think did I say I was told by my father not to have any regrets or is that what you said you was going to be your advice for your great-grandkids? Right? Yeah. Well, I don't mean don't have any regrets regrets. I mean

32:08 Don't let your regrets weigh on your mind.

32:17 You got any?

32:21 Yes so few.

32:28 Well, if you don't want to talk about those, how about what are your hopes for your grandkids? And your great-grandkids did aren't born yet.

32:39 My hopes were very said they will.

32:42 Be good people and if they will be

32:48 Every

32:52 And that they will live a meaningful life.

33:02 Be famous like my son famous.

33:06 Well, you have a meaningful job as a

33:13 College professor so

33:20 This is a I'm not supposed to ask you any questions. Do you think you have a meaningful job?

33:28 I do think that my job is Meaningful. Yes, and I am

33:35 I'm thankful that after you know, I

33:41 Stopped working in the video game industry full-time that I was able to find some employment at the University and I've since come to really feel the joy of you know having

33:59 Helped somebody learn

34:03 About life after graduation and it'll help them to improve their skills so they can find meaningful work themselves.

34:14 Even if it's working in video games, you know that has some meaning because you're giving people enjoyment like the enjoyment you and I are having now playing Animal Crossing on the Nintendo switch, right? This is keeping us sane through. Yes. I think you're right Sometimes some days. I feel as if my life on the island is more real than my

34:48 Exactly. So, you know what? I'm playing the game and it's raining on the island then and then I think well, I should go out and take a walk, but I know it's raining the game. So yeah, I have I had a student a year or so ago who reminded me of myself and I was a senior and

35:20 He was going through with called senioritis. He was feeling overwhelmed and Under Pressure about all his classes and upcoming exams in his graduation. Hinged on, you know, not flunking out in his last semester or what have you. And so I told him about my last semester as a senior in college.

35:45 Back in 1970 which was Now 50 years ago. We had the whole Kent State incident that happened and nobody today seems to know anything about that the Vietnam War protests and then a protest in Ohio turned ugly when the national Guardsmen fired on the crowd and killed the four until I told him about that and I told him about all the students going on strike and I had a senior project I had to complete and I got some fellow students some girls to help me do the project we had to collect information at the library with anyway, and I told him about all this and he actually said that helped

36:37 A gun so I was glad of that and

36:43 But it is success and he's already landed a job in the game industry. So very pleased about that.

36:56 So do you have anything else you would like to say to anybody who might be listening to this?

37:01 Cuz we're just about out of time here.

37:07 Yes, I'll I'll see to Sam and Janet. Thank you for

37:12 Thank you for

37:15 Same idea and hope you enjoy I guess they're going to

37:22 Get to see this does Ken know that you refer as long as they know Sam and Janet evening, and I'm very proud of you. Tom. My best son. You're my best mom to. Love you.

37:57 And I'm glad you're staying healthy.

38:02 Me too.

38:05 Now

38:08 Well, we are going to do this again.

38:16 Right, we're going to drink one more. I don't know if storycorps is a thing you do multiple times, but

38:25 Where to find out we'll find out in the future.

38:31 Thanks, Mom. Yeah, thank you, Tom.

38:36 I know.