Troy Beckham and Darius Beckham

00:01 Yes, my name is Troy Beckham age 59.

00:06 My location is Dayton, Ohio.

00:10 Darius is my partner and he is my son.

00:17 My name is Darius. I'm age 23 today is Saturday October 3rd. It's 2020. We're at our home in Dayton, Ohio. My partner is my father Troy Beckham. And again, he's my father.

00:40 So you grown up and down all your life. You raise your family here and talk to me about just what it was like growing up here. And what are some of the things about dating that are unique?

00:57 Well one thing about

00:59 Thing about dating that is unique people. Don't talk about it a lot. But we are the home of Aviation home of the Wright brothers that started the history of flight.

01:16 Interesting. So what was it like being a child in in Dayton? I mean talk to me about you know, my grandparents or parents. I know the family Dynamics have changed considering the families used to be so much bigger than they are now. So what was what was your family like like you and date another child family life in Dayton was it was good growing up?

01:45 All of my friends that I went to school with they were they were two parents in the home, but seem like now it seems like there's more single parents in the home and then the family was bigger and there was a father and mother in the home.

02:05 What do you think has changed about this city? But one thing to change about this city a lot of jobs have left, but our downtown is on the uprise with really nice apartments to live in and we also have a minor league baseball team. The Dayton Dragons in Downtown Dallas is really nice now.

02:38 You say downtown is really nice. Now. What was it like as a child was there like a decline and then like a course I can second I'm downtown is starting to really improve but interesting Lee and I was born into that slow incline of what is happening now in downtown, so

03:02 Do you would you say that downtown started to climb when you were younger? And what do you think caused that? Well as a child growing up and in Dayton or downtown was our armed all we did was Noah Suburban malls in Dayton when I was growing up all the main stores located in downtown Dayton before the malls were created. That's where everybody in the surrounding area came that shop and do business.

03:40 Okay.

03:41 Often times we hear about East and West dating in this racial divide how segregated dating might be. What side of Dayton did you grow up on and did you know that it was Saturday?

03:59 Well, I grew up on the westside and I really never paid any attention to segregation from what I seen on on TV.

04:12 But other than that, I didn't really, you know a whole lot of mine as a young child about, you know, black and white and it'll Prejudice and bigotry analysis ending on a television show or something on the news.

04:32 Would you say your school was mostly black or you know was a child up until high school. I went to a predominantly African-American school, but 20 mi.

04:48 9th grade to 12th grade. I want through a predominantly white high school with we only had like 60 African Americans in the whole school and that included the freshman's the sophomores and juniors and seniors. Wow. So 60 and 60 out of 25 students.

05:11 So you see you mention up until High School you were in a predominantly black school when you got the high school you you are now in the situation in which only 60 college students. Probably including yourself are African American in the entire school. What was that changed mean? Did you did you move or or what happens if my parents moved to the to a suburb outside of Dayton and that's how I end up being at the high school.

05:46 And this is us almost full circle because you don't being one of three sons of your own. I remember around 5 years old. We actually move from what was Alta interesting to a suburb of Dayton what what motivated you and my mom to make that decision?

06:11 Well for one education and opportunity to get better Housing Opportunity was there to improve life improve our lives.

06:28 What do you think are some of the challenges, you know because we still that home that I grew up in until I was five years old. We still we still on that home in a West Dayton. What do you think neighbors in that area deal with what do you think? Some of their challenges are you know you talked about the motivation for us moving our was just a better quality of life. What it what are some of the things and issues that you think residents in that neighborhood might still be dealing with willful warning might be dealing with a healthcare.

07:09 The access to better education and

07:13 Maybe a little bit crime rate crime rate the earlier. We were talking about, you know, this this dichotomy.

07:25 Being in a predominately white school and then coming to

07:30 This the sub suburban school, which was only a small percentage of black students was that difficult. What was that? Like tell me about what high school was like in this now predominately white space will put for me it is it kind of It kind of slowed me down a little bit because I didn't know anyone at the school at the time and it was just a

07:58 A major adjustment

08:01 In what? I thought about people especially being around all white people.

08:07 Would you say I was difficult?

08:13 I don't know where you

08:16 It just has a different environment for me at the time. What I was used to did you ever find yourself going back to the neighborhood that you grew up until you all moved?

08:31 Yes, I did. Yes. I I I went back all my friends was dead. So that's why I went back to the beach with my friends.

08:43 Were those friends did they seem to get the same quality of Education that you were getting know? A lot of them either were killed I went to prison for God.

08:59 Cooking some kind of substance abuse.

09:02 Or

09:05 You know, they've just took the wrong path wrong choices.

09:11 What I mean, of course being being your son. I know that my grandparents your parents.

09:19 Lived in that house that area that suburb that they moved you to when you in high school for for quite some time.

09:29 How do you think that changed your life just in general? And now of course, you know us as a family having you know, I moved out of the NOS part of our city kind of in a similar fashion to my grandparents. How do you how do you think that shaped your son's life? Well, like I said is it is slow me down and it gave me the opportunity to be more responsible and accountable and Indigent motivated me to do better in life.

10:02 How do you think how do you think it's affected myself and my brothers, you know say we would have remained. I think the neighbors Dayton view triangle say we would have grown up there. I'm in. Pheasant Hill, which is another area dating. How do you think our lives would be different about you mentioned environment in the end in the environment you end. It can't have an impact on where you think and what you hear and how you feel about things the impact out here was more of a

10:40 The most outlining impact, you know, all the kids all the friends you guys had that they were intending to go to cut it with purpose. They're sick higher education. You just even just that atmosphere to do better to go to college to get an education, you know, and I know even put me in your mother for for y'all to go to school to get a better education to get degrees and master's degrees. So you're saying that

11:16 The school system that we ended up in the friends that we were around had a positive impact on us that drove us to to continue in our education. Whereas maybe we would have nots what school systems or we would have stayed in the same neighborhood. We might have had different friends perhaps or we would not have been as motivated to the Bowdoin College considering that the percentage of students who do going to higher education, you know in Dayton public schools is not not as hot as I should say. Is that is that the point

11:59 Been in a different school district is part of it because each different each district is different. Each district is different due to you no monetary reason why we have a butt

12:17 If we would have stayed in the West Dayton, I mean it's hard to control.

12:27 Who your friends is going to be a lot of times who you want to be your friend, but at the same time whoever you choose your friend. Is it something the parent I think they're really continue to have an impact and push that child to do better in bed. But that child has to listen though. He had to listen has made sure we listen.

12:54 So what time you lied about my educational experience?

12:59 What do you wish was different about yours if anything?

13:07 I have more parent involvement. I wish I was to be pushed to do better in education to have more involvement.

13:16 Do my pants.

13:21 And then one more question that I'm just naturally curious about as it was there ever anything that happened at school that you've never forgot something that stays with you to this day. Yes. I have my first girlfriend.

13:38 First crush that I never forgot in high school and middle school. I think that's my mom. Correct? No, that's not her. Well, I appreciate your time today. This was insightful learn something and you know that you've been sitting down with me and having his interview. I'm going to I'm going to ask him questions if you don't mind you guys.

14:10 How to say when you when you said it's up to Troy when when you said is up to the the parents are to be involved with know who their fret who their kids hang out with who the friends are and you said that the child also have to listen with everything that's going on.

14:31 In today's world, do you how how would you how would you improve on that or how would you recommend that parents, you know kind of put that message out there that your who your friends are is important in it and greatly affects your life.

14:50 What Nickelback dance to monitor monitoring monitoring your kids and I'm not.

14:58 What will our kids have freedom when they was growing up, but we also kept a close tab on them who they was around and and we also

15:10 When they bring my friends over, you know, we ask questions and where they live and you know, what kind of grades are getting in school and excetera excetera.

15:20 So do you think that's do you think that is not happening in today's society?

15:31 Show it just ended we're just you know, we're just talking we're just brainstorming do either of you have any ideas on how you know how that could be improved. You know, what we what we as a society. Could you better just need to take time and get the kids some time just give it to just give him some time and it's it's it's work raising a child is work and I'm sure if you have any kids, I'm sure you know that too.

16:04 I mean from the perspective of a son my parents were very integrated into our educational lives. Not just from the standpoint that they always always always from from the start said that we were all going to college but they make sure that every decision that we were making prior to graduating from high school was a decision that would lead us to college. So whether it was friends at weather was extracurricular activities, whether it was you know,

16:45 Just any social opportunities that we had, you know, it was always you know, I want to make sure that this is helping you or your educational experience and not arming it. So maybe if it's that answers the question, that's just how I remember, you know my case to 12. So, I'm just curious and we're just what has what has happened what his because as it, you know, we we've made so many leaps and bounds and we can be in constant communication with each other and yet there's something there's a there's a disconnect between parents and children. I believe they're just wondering like you're in your pants like what what's happened?

17:39 I mean, he's a good lack of support from the parent I believe.

17:44 Why why do busy with their own lives? It's funny that my dad says that because

17:54 I just think there's so much more distractions. There are so many more distractions. I think in our current society that I think often times you have to stop.

18:09 And you have to reprioritize you know what it is that is truly important and it's funny because

18:20 It didn't matter what else was going on in the world. It's never mattered. What else has been going on in the world?

18:26 I can truly say that my parents have always made their number one priority our household their family their son's no matter what else was happening around us. They always put their kids first they always put this household first and they always made sure that we were going to be successful and you know, it's interesting because

18:55 As as as as many things that are happening in the world today, you know my brothers and I were young adults now, they have not changed their still the same way.

19:07 And yet so many black and African-American families in America are are struggling and they're they're not succeeding and their kids aren't going to college and you see it. It's happy knows it's it's kind of like it's being passed down from generation to generation. How do we just again in your how do we fix it? How do we stop it? How do we make it better or the protests the right thing to do?

19:38 I mean, of course, I'll defer to my dad on this one, but you don't either one of my parents graduated from college. So this is not something that was like, you know, known or tradition or

19:55 A experience that they had had you know, but I think that

20:01 That reality for them was a motivator in the opposite sez.

20:07 You know so that they said to themselves like will our kids are going to go to school and you know, my dad himself. He would have to speak to why you know, they thought that way.

20:20 Okay live by Troy.

20:24 Give me the chords to begin the question. Why was it so important for you to make sure your son's not only got a good education, but went to call Otis easy because I wanted them to succeed do way much better than me with it in my life.

20:46 Because I believe if it's if you raise your kids to support your kid and give me kid the tools they need to make it and live out her and survive out here and it'll be better for him and you in Long Run.

21:05 Stand on his own two feet

21:09 Yeah.

21:11 So how to how to how do we do that now? Like why isn't it just seems like that's not happening anymore with the Lana moral principles people people just don't they don't they don't really care anymore for one thing and people are selfish and people are stubborn and people are greedy and people and people don't have that the love in their heart that they they need to have because special woman with a child grows up.

21:46 Luella Middle child is small and when he grows up when you get about I don't know 10 11 12. He start thinking he got his own mind. He's on his own and it's hard to really put something else in his mind if he ain't been trained and had that example in front of them and had the right. I'm going to stay disciplined to you know, the right type of discipline and it's hard for a parent if they don't train a child up while they young and they wait till they get too old and he get the ticket on his own in the way. He want to take some time. It's too late.

22:24 Yeah, I think I think there was some keywords that.

22:27 My dad just threw out there one discipline and I think two principles. I mean one thing that hasn't been touched down in this conversation that is you know, always going to be a bound and I own in our lives is backed. You know, we're we're pretty, you know Conservative Christian household, you know, and those are the principles that they really instilled in my brothers and I'm in Lynn discipline, you know, I mean, my parents worked very hard they did everything they could to put my brothers and I got to college and that's the same discipline.

23:05 You know, we try to have it all lives, you know, and hopefully without families one day.

23:12 Darius do you have children yet? But I'm 23 and don't plan on having any anytime soon.

23:24 What I'm going to ask the Troy didn't answer this first. What what advice would you give to Future grandchildren to your future great-grandchildren? What it what is some words of some words of wisdom that that you would like to share.

23:43 Well, I would tell them to listen to their parents.

23:49 Listen to their parents guidance.

23:55 Hey.

23:57 And Troy and Darius. I mean anything that any anything that you would like to take a moment to like pass along to your to see those unborn potential kids or grandkids. Just something maybe you'd like happening right now that you don't want to be forgotten.

24:17 Yeah, I was just saying, you know.

24:20 I think it's very easy.

24:25 To internalize all the typing in this world. I I read something not too long ago that said, you know with as dangerous and as politicized and as toxic as things feel right now, it's almost unfair to bring kids into this world and I just totally disagree. I totally disagree with that and you know, when and if I have children without I do want children, I would just tell them like, you know your home your home your house. Your household should be first, you know, and I think that I get that from my parents no matter what's happening in this world. There's always going to be love and support and a healthy environment when you walk through the door, so, you know, just know

25:13 This is what I would tell my kids if I had them right now.

25:18 Just know that this this will always be your your Fortress, you know where you can come for fortitude and hopefully this is the place that can protect you from the outside world. So

25:30 That's good. Yeah, it's every every kid every kid should have that every kid every kid should have that. I've been blessed to have that some

25:47 Troy how would you like to be remembered?

25:52 Oh.

25:54 Good question. Just a good father good provider respectful good husband good pricing in general.

26:12 And one final thing Darius

26:15 What just tell me how you feel about your dad Spa.

26:29 That's why he's never been on the record. So here we are.

26:33 A lot of the words that he just said, I mean a provider a hard worker.

26:41 Let's just strong black man a great husband. I mean he can be he can be funny when he when he's not trying to end. Just somebody who loves his sons and puts his family first somebody that will make a great grandfather one day.

27:04 It's pretty cool. Thank you. Thank you both for for taking some extra time and letting me ask you questions. I really appreciate it. I think you have important things to say and that you're important.

27:21 Your folks like you're so important to your community and whether people take the time to to make you feel that way or not true you're important to your community. So thank you. Do you guys want to thank each other again or are we play? Thank you. Thank you sign up for song. He just said, yeah cuz I'm in Saint still helping me out.

27:52 Thank you both. Thank you, Brenda.