Tyler Cross and Patricia Cross

00:02 My name is Tyler cross. I am 35 years old. Today is June Thursday, June 25th. 2020. I am in Missoula Montana USA and I am here with my mom Pat cross and I am Pat cross Patricia cross. I am 74 years old. Today is Thursday, June 25th, 2020. We are in Missoula Montana and I'm with my son Tyler.

00:44 So so I guess that's what I was thinking we start off as just tell you a little something about daddy my daddy cuz your grandpa so his whole name is Herbert Lee right across which you probably know that or maybe you don't he went by Roy. That was his nickname. So who's hard to find it in the phone book? Because he was in the phone book under a gel cross. He was born in Detroit and but he lived most of his life in Ferndale, Michigan his parents were Laura and Herbert Abel cross. He had four siblings Uncle Clark Aunt Jenny and Jerry and Uncle Don would you wouldn't the only one you would have met with Daddy and Aunt Jenny and Jerry had passed away when she was young and Uncle Don is uncle that we don't know what happened to and Uncle Clark.

01:37 He might have met him once but he died ten years or so before daddy. Do I think something like that? So he went to high school in Ferndale. Anyway, he was a paper boy as a kid and he had a dog named pal even before his older brother whom he was a second line. Uncle Clark was the oldest one. He was the first one to have a car. You mostly worked as small shops working for a small shops in the Detroit area that did stuff for a lot of times for Ford Motor Company. So that's kind of Daddy's background his we're talking about him having a motorcycle remember

02:37 What is a young man used to ride his motorcycle up into Michigan his grandparents lived in Aloha, Michigan near the near the top of the lower Peninsula and he and his friends would ride motorcycle up there before they were freeways when it would have been safe to ride a motorcycle, There's a funny little stories just a tiny little story that I always remember for my dad. I don't know why this particular but he is his younger brother John and he were in the car. They got out of the car and daddy jumped out and lock the door. You left the keys in the car and you hurt he hurriedly said sup. Uncle Don don't close the door and Uncle Don slammed the door closed and said why so of course that meant the keys were locked.

03:24 Even my dad so many times every time I heard you.

03:36 But there's a little bit about daddy and mama so mama was born in Detroit her house that she lived in was in Hamtramck actually, which country make is a town that's completely surrounded by Detroit and that's where my mama was raised. My grandma owned a three-story flat which had where they had the main floor her mom. When when I was little I had met my great grandma, but she died when I was like four, but I had seen her and her brother.

04:15 Steve and his wife who lived on the top floor. So that's where that's where my mom was raised anyway, and she had two brothers my Uncle Eddie and my uncle Johnny.

04:27 And

04:29 Oh, I want to say that my grandmother so came from what was Austria-Hungary and I looked up the name of the town she lived in and she was in Copeland k u l p i n you can find it in Serbia and Croatia, but I'm hoping is in Serbia. I just looked that up Neighbors. I guess we were ballroom dancing and that's how she and daddy met. Not that he took dancing lessons from her. But daddy said daddy told the stories. He said that a friend of his new my mom, or maybe he was taking dancing lessons from her. I'm not sure.

05:29 But one day he told Daddy that my mom needed a ride home. So I'm not sure if Daddy was taking dancing lessons to her. I didn't ever get that quite right so he took her home and apparently that's how they actually met and then eventually unfairly they dated and they used to go out dancing every once in awhile. I remember I'm sure they did it before I was born and then I was remember them dancing at wedding going to paycheck. Cha cha lessons somewhere when Shasha was popular, but my dad said to me one time that he my mom was just great at dancing. She has Rhythm she you know, she had no problem picking up dances. My said dad said his was really hard. He had to count all the time when he was dancing, but but he did it for her which I thought was very romantic.

06:14 Can I dance with my dad at weddings and things and I thought he wasn't quite a good dancer. So he might be underestimated his skills as if something else comes up. My dad was the one who was the Storyteller. My mom was much quieter. She never really told much many stories about her family that much I think just I don't know but I think Daddy had a very happy childhood and my my aunt her sister his sister always said he was the the because their mom's favorite. Maybe she felt like she had I think her she had more struggles with her mother, you know, daughters and mothers with her house and daddy did everything right? That's what she said.

07:15 Perfect child and my mom my grandmother and my grandfather would for divorce when she was young. I'm not sure. How old is zactly like maybe in her middle school years or something like that. So I think they had more struggles. I think my dad. My my grandpa was a I believe he was the designer for General Motors. Right across across right? My dad said he actually smoke cigarettes and he only had a Cadillac in his later years. Maybe that's because I was in his later years. That's why I remember the Cadillac

08:15 I know there's a picture of him smoking the pipe or not. There's a picture of his his father my great-grandfather. Your great-great-grandfather was a pipe it. Okay, so now both seemed old to me at that time cuz everyone seemed old and I was just remember Grandpa sitting in his chair. Here's how do you know this spot has recliner chair and then you guys will fall asleep by that but like drift off and then Grandma, how is your member her to call me honey? And I just being a very Grandma was always very warm person in them.

09:15 And I am I told me at some point that's one thing. She never like to do was cook, but she was a thing. She she had to do because she was the one she never worked after I was born and and then my sister Shirley and Daddy was one of my lights work, but she said cooking the one thing she didn't like to do but I thought she was a drake make all sorts of stuff and I'll tried all different kinds of things when she could you underestimate yourself.

09:54 And she also underestimated yourself as far as clothing goes to the story about her painting. That was that was kind of a place that Grandma used to barely like paint the house every what couple years in the kitchen or paint various rooms.

10:37 Which get out to me it's like the idea of painting which is you know, it huge task that we've just recently had to do for our new house that we're in. I don't want to do that for another 10-20 years. I hope the paint last to do that regularly Grandpa's working and she's supposed to stay at home. I guess when the houses I know she didn't I think that's what you're saying that I think she said she never wanted to wash walls walls, you know, when was time that they seem to need to be washed and it was like going to be like all the oil paints the stuff too so I can imagine.

11:37 Okay, so that's grandma and grandpa memorialize and tricks. You also be memorialized and hear her growling Harris. But anyway mysterious past cuz cuz I wasn't born until you were 40 and which is interesting cuz I'm 35 now and

12:11 Back to mom had a whole life before I came into the picture. I knew what you said that I was just about 40 would make it. So I had already out of high school by the time they're forty will surely she had Pam at 19, you know, she was still a baby surely your sister. My sister is 4 years younger than me a birthday present and I swear.

13:11 Instead of instead of a string and it says on it. It said happy birthday. No matter how old you are. I will always be younger.

13:23 Iowa hot air balloon stay inflated like my entire life. I always remembered I think ahead so I know do you want to just do it while just breathe through the the intro and then I want how you moved out west. Are you were the one who left?

13:45 So I went to After High School. I went to Wayne State University for a couple years and then I would start working at a little shop in Detroit Martin electric company, and then I think

13:59 I'm trying to think of why I went to Eton then maybe I was looking for a better job. I can't remember there being a particular reason. So so that was in the OA. I know I don't lie cuz I had gotten you know, I got in the I've been married several times. So when we went to Virginia, that's what it was. We went to Virginia. So I quit my job. Then when I he went to Vietnam and then I came so then I came back home again. And then I applied to the job and eat and that's when I start working through eating the Allentown which is not even Corporation. I work there for just

14:36 For eight years I think for 8 years and then I moved to Montana so that you are using is made it always have these all is eating products that we use and every time I see a box or a electrical panel or something that has eaten stamped on I always think the above mom that was like her last film full time at while you work University here, but I was like last job and you're working there. You said they were like developing analog braids or something or just like a special new thing, but now every vehicle has

15:36 Actually came out with the current version or maybe multiple companies that but he was working on cutting-edge technology and axles and other parts that sings a district attorney make your car so, you know new and better products for cars is that they are working on.

15:58 So, why did you come out I think?

16:05 So Tom and Sharon lukomski Sharon and I have been friends since seventh grade she and and she and her husband had were teachers in Bay City Michigan and they decided after many Summers of coming out to Montana on vacation that they're going to move out here. They had friends here, Trevor Has relatives that went to Berkeley High School. That's how we okay. And so is 72 I came out of here on a vacation with Tom and Sharon and in 75, they decided to move out here and I came out to help them take the car and then I drove the Volkswagen out and they drove there there.

16:51 Oh it does it with a Chevy like a soup and when I got out here they they said what you should come out and live here too. And I thought well, you know, we went hiking you know in the mountains which I've never done before and I got a lie, why not? I could go home and see everybody on vacation. So I flew back home and then I'd rather bicycles with us. So I left my bicycle here and Tom said well, she's definitely coming back because she's not going to leave her bicycle. So I did that was in July and then weekend of Labor Day. I quit my I told her I was quitting my job and September and

17:48 Mom and I was going to drive out here in my Volkswagen Mom and Daddy decided that they didn't want to drive alone. So they pulled my Volkswagen behind their station wagon with my bed on top of the car and all my plants in the Volkswagen. You know, I don't remember them ever being against it but years later when you moved out, you know, when you going to Florida eye my eye next to Daddy how much I missed you and he said now, you know how we feel but they never really said anything when I did it and then they help me move out here. You know, I'm about to be they wanted me to make sure I got here safely and everything and then I live with Tom and Sharon for the first year they lived over in Brooks right across from the Rose Garden and I lived with them for the first year and then I got an apartment and I got a job at the University then.

18:44 And so that was in 75 1975 and then I got an apartment and stay with them in their little apartment by the university in 72 when I came here and 72 before I move they moved to 75 they came here and take classes and they lived in an apartment on the corner of Ronald and the alley of Ronald and between 2 and 6 and they have a basement apartment. Just very tiny and I looked at it when I looked at it later. I can imagine there was four of us in there for a couple of weeks. Oh my gosh was there too so then many years later my fiance with him Little Tia was born we were dating in college and Rosa.

19:40 Play the dishes Lipa to suggest that we move in together here in Missoula. And I and I was surprised that she wanted to move back that it just seemed like I kind of natural thing was she totally made the she probably made the first step in and asked me to do it and she also wanted a reason to stay in Missoula cuz she's from Helena, but she looked around for apartments near the university area found this apartment. That was pretty cheap little basement apartment turns out it was exactly apartment that mom had moved into when she first moved out to the stairwell about apartment.

20:40 So they commemorate that we do we get time and Mom and me and Rosa same stairwell pretty cool. Well what it also I want to know what the surely felt when you moved out here that I came out here was when she had Jeff.

21:20 And I think that's right. He was born in 75 and Tracy and she said she finally was not going to be able to stop working. She was going to stay home. Now that she had Pam and Joe and I was moving and she wasn't have a chance to actually be able to do stuff with me. So she always worked on Saturdays and I work the regular work week because I work in an office and so she was kind of disappointed that I was going now that we're going to have a chance to do more things together. I do remember her saying that she never moved far. She was like an hour 40 minutes drive from grandpa's house and then all her kids still live pretty close in now and the city, but they're they're all in the suburbs.

22:20 She had three kids Each of which has had one as I have Jeff is at 3 and was said to Tracy's now head. I am the Late Bloomer. My mom is a late bloomer and then all this week. So I I was born when my dad was 30. You were born the year. I was 40 and you was born the year 35 so you right in between halfway between today, but when I was in my twenties now is always liked it be good at 35 age and I was like,

23:20 Evelyn partying and stuff my twenties and I no planning or anything of that sort. I created a self-fulfilling prophecy and here I am 35 for the child. So yes, you worked at the Kami. Are you working University started at this lot of ways cuz I meant that were gang hoe and things like that around and somewhat. Anyway what we want when we want it now.

24:20 Was that. That was for me it was probably what?

24:26 What were they protesting? Okay, so they should women that I wear social work department for the longest time for 7 years. And then I the last year I moved in the psych department and that's when I discovered that.

24:52 I had I was pregnant with you if I had you when I was in the psych department and then I thought I was going to keep on working and my babysitter fell through. Summer your born in February to three months off cuz I had to I had six times and then I started back to work at the end of May and I thought I had a babysitter and then it fell through so I quit University and that's when I skipped stayed home with you cuz I didn't want to miss out on you.

25:24 So any any other questions that you can well only one she talked about yesterday, but I kind of was hoping you tell me a little bit about.

25:41 The two potential fathers

25:49 Where are the wild lady Rockets Mac in the time? I wasn't that there was only those two.

25:56 Well, it seems like you've kind of established the fact that one of them is out of is not well.

26:03 Yeah, I took a DNA test Rosa who's my fiance is really into ancestry and we can start getting his roses adopted cuz your mother had a disability and wouldn't wasn't able to take care of her. And so she's adopted by Family wasn't Elena and insulting the birth of our Lives just here in Missoula that he's gonna go though. And and so they're there couldn't be two different walks of life funds are sort of

26:41 Conservatives Trailer Park Living individuals who I admire a lot for a while well off by any means and then butter fit her birth her adoptive parents are

27:00 Liberal living hell and very politically active just work one of his their dad's retired from the government. And her mom was I was a reporter and she still little write the roads are not really into ancestry stuff at a young age. Just figured out who her birth parents were actually that's when she found out her dad her birth. Dad had just been like living two trailers down and she never knew it was him do love him but didn't know it was him for years and then and then even while I knew her and she was in her early twenties, she found out that was her dad and said they like moved in together birth date of birth. Mom moved in together in and they lived right now.

27:45 With her birth dad's brother. So her uncle who lives with him. And anyway, she got really into me and wanted me to do it and I think she bought me the biggest like discounts on Ancestry around Christmas time. And so we discovered that.

28:06 The guy Twilight. I found a family tree of the birth father that is on my birth certificate and it went took him all the way back to Norway Street.

28:32 Background really look at his picture. We found him on Facebook. He looks just like anyone from the northern European country. And then we did the ancestry test. It was weird cuz there was all this these little bits of like South American American because they test where they where you're from where your genetics are the percentages of African that has some friends and some Spanish mix

29:09 Choose your cousins like your clothes people who done the tests you passed and I had this huge like circles within circles cuz it kind of a dark in it and they spread they show you the the concentration of your ancestors or your cousins brother who are still alive and taking a test and I just had all is density in Florida and Puerto Rico in like really a ton in Puerto Rico or like what will make any sense then. I'm like Mom, you know this guy done with my dad, but he have all this Porter Rican blood and then this is like last year and then you're like, what do you say you're like, we'll all there was this other guy?

29:56 But I stopped seeing him as soon as I started seeing Doug. I'm friends the time frames and so his name is Robert and I still we found him on Facebook. I don't like him maybe in his younger pictures, but I have I do look a lot like a somewhat like his brother. I didn't know his brother. So anyway, how did the Rams and how do you make I was going on in that that I live with other than Nancy's house after I split up with Dave and I looked at Nancy's house that summer and I had my piano there and

30:53 I got plans International to come to knit and Bob was a piano tuner doctoral and he came in June the piano and he played some songs and it's really cute and I dated him. So that was not a not a real long time. Actually, I think about it because then I wrote and tossed what's the euro in toddler's cough syrup is the end of May and that's where I met Doug. He was writing but he was he was riding toddler, but he wasn't officially in it. He was just riding along with everybody else. He and another friend and so that's where I met him. And and then I

31:39 I couldn't I was having trouble deciding because I really like both of them, but I don't know why I just decided to just start seeing Doug Moore. He didn't live Bob lived out in Missoula and Doug lived in Red Lodge. So I just see him on every weekend or so and then

32:05 One weekend. We actually drove down to Yellowstone weekend, and that's when I think I got pregnant without a weekend.

32:14 That's what I thought. I got weeks now with that. Apparently I might have been already pregnant cuz I never actually was with Doug Bob after that cross over and I was sure it was just that it would have been your other friends. I don't know if Mom is the most groups and activities of any person. I know she is highly active incredible. Well, anyway, I'm sorry to bring that out by other bears eat, but it's also an interesting and we'll find out more. I'll know more about the actual geological heritage.

33:09 You are a wild lady mom third because he us.

33:34 The only thing I wanted to make sure we got to guess what time for us to get what do you think grandpa and grandma would say to Seattle if they had the chance will you know what that one thing daddy always said and I don't know if he would have said this to you or not. But if this would be for when he was older course, but he always loved what he did you love me to tool and die maker and he hit it into a 70s because he was able to work at a small shop part-time and still get his Social Security, you know, so we wouldn't go over the amount, you know, you can only make so much and then you they start taking it off you so security is he have them pay him in toilet paper and paper towels.

34:24 Paper towels toilet paper and paper towels, you know, cuz because if you got to go to work everyday, you should be happy with what you're doing and not you know, he might do something that you really don't like to do. So hopefully this electrician stuff that you doing now is something you're enjoying and we'll enjoy more probably when you're not the bottom of the totem pole, you know, I do and I know you would enjoy learning to stay in my mom always said always turn the hot shower faucet off when you're taking a shower so you don't burn yourself.

35:12 Nacho rappers all the hot water out first on the shower. I'm done that practical wisdom.

35:36 Yeah, I guess that's everything until 15 years comes.

36:05 Well, I guess I wanted to say to that one thing is that when I discovered I was at I was at a calligraphy conference that summer.

36:16 You know what I discovered I was pregnant with you and I

36:22 I thought that I

36:24 Wood

36:26 I like that I would have my. Before I went to the calligraphy conference cuz I don't have to deal with it then so has arrived and I thought I must have missed rated and I looked at the calendar and I just calculated by two weeks. I was already two weeks late. Oh my God. I'm so I went to the clicker she conference and

36:50 Antenna for a conference and I think this was in.

36:55 Minneapolis and then I went home to Michigan for a week. And cuz I was working you just took some vacation time and then I went to Linda's and Linda said Linda Freddie Prinze from eating and she said we're going to go take we're going to go to the drugstore and get some pregnancy tests like you guys did and it was positive. So and I was so happy. It was so excited. I was just so excited. I just like I didn't want to move for fear I would do so I used to run around again later to but I used to run and I just saw a lot of people run until they have their baby. I decided that I was going to run this didn't want to do anything that would

37:56 It's worked out pretty well. I'd say all that all the Rosa to only children lonely though. Who knows? I'm a step sister something. No. I mean you guys to help you out into the world teach you the ways when the end of your best friends, but there's a guy says being an only child. I've always I've always right about that to you know,

38:55 Gibson down there

39:02 I'm sure if we can we can go on to some other stuff to go from here.