Tyler Edwards and Lorena Edwards

[00:01] LORENA EDWARDS: Hi, I'm Lorena Edwards. I'm 43. I believe today is January 8, 2023. We're in El Paso, Texas, and I am with my husband, Tyler.

[00:12] TYLER EDWARDS: Hi. This is Tyler Edwards. I am 42. I think you're 41, maybe 41. I forget now. Today is January 8, 2023. We are in El Paso, Texas, and I'm here with my wife, Lorena Edwards.

[00:29] LORENA EDWARDS: So, this is awesome that we get to talk together with this program. I got to interview our kids yesterday, and I asked them this question, and I want to ask it to you, too, because it's relevant.

[00:43] TYLER EDWARDS: Okay.

[00:43] LORENA EDWARDS: So, when we sat together and I told you, hey, we're going to be part of this project with StoryCorps, what did you think the topic was automatically going to be about?

[00:53] TYLER EDWARDS: Well, probably the same answer the children gave you, which is generally about our daughters coming out.

[00:59] LORENA EDWARDS: Right. So, do you want to tell me a little bit about what coming out specifically means for her? Like, what the story was?

[01:08] TYLER EDWARDS: I mean, I think it was. I mean, a lot of it is her transition both, like, socially plus in school, plus to her friends, plus just every aspect of your own identity.

[01:24] LORENA EDWARDS: And we're talking about her being transgender.

[01:27] TYLER EDWARDS: Yes. Yeah. So, I mean, I think that's what most people want to hear.

[01:32] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[01:33] TYLER EDWARDS: Because people don't hear the story.

[01:35] LORENA EDWARDS: It's true. True. And I think it's actually pretty common now. I think that when we first went through it when she was just ten years old, that it was shocking because it wasn't as known. I think we knew jazz Jennings. Right. Because she was on tv. But as far as this location here in El Paso, Texas, it was just not heard of. Right, true. So we kind of felt a little bit like we were on an abandoned island. But. So that's why I wanted to ask you what you thought it was about. Because when I tell you, hey, you know, I've got an interview, I'll be back or whatever. Like, I say that to you all the time now, and you're just kind of like, yeah, whatever. Right. Because I think you just assume you know what it's for. Good luck. Right?

[02:18] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah.

[02:19] LORENA EDWARDS: But did it ever. Did it seem weird that I was involving you this time?

[02:24] TYLER EDWARDS: No, but just because I know that you've brought up, like we kind of talked about before, where sometimes in certain people try to ask, well, where's the dad?

[02:37] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[02:38] TYLER EDWARDS: And I think that's one of those things that I guess, are they expecting the dad to be more vocal? Are they like. But this. I don't know. To me, I also think that's their own perception of what they think a father or a dad or just a male figure in a family should be. So I don't know. I try not to put too much weight behind that because I'm like, well, that's your hang up. That doesn't work for us.

[03:03] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah. And I definitely agree with that. This was really cool because when they approached us for this story, it was kind of like we got to choose who. Who we brought and what we were talking about. So it definitely wasn't them coming and saying, hey, we only want to talk to you about this. It was obviously the contact points that we got were through our connection with the LGBTQ community. But when we get phone calls from journalists or get phone calls from reporters, typically it's going to be about our daughter and her transition. And the thing that I've noted always is that they don't really ask for you and they don't ask for anyone else in the rest of the family, which is interesting to me. Most recently, when we were part of the Texas Heroes project that we created at work at the Borderland Rainbow center, we had to choose people within the state of Texas that we felt were heroes in the LGBTQ community. We created a card deck out of it. Most awesome project. And grant that we got. And I got to speak to some other parents that are also rainbow families. We call them. Right. In particular, a family by the name of Briggle is their last name. And when you bring them up, a lot of people will know the mom, and they will. Amber Briggle, and then they'll also know the child, Max Briggle, but they don't know about the husband and the daughter. And so when I approached them and asked them if they'd be willing to be on this deck of cards for us, she actually said, you know what? I'm so honored, and thank you so much for wanting to include us. But would you be willing to go to your board and ask them if they'd be willing to include my daughter and my husband? Because they're also part of this family and they also fight for the same rights that we're fighting for everyone. So have you felt like. Because, I mean, I know we've talked about the two aspects of it where you're kind of, like, never asked for and they never really want to include you. Not that you. A lot of times are available because you work. Right. You know, and I think that we do see that a lot people are more brave to kind of call you out or say, like, where are you when you're not there. And when you're there, they kind of tease you based on appearance or what they feel they should see. How do you feel about that?

[05:33] TYLER EDWARDS: I also chalk it up to, don't read the comments on Facebook. So I. I mean, as you know, like, I mean, if we're just gonna talk about social media very briefly, I mean, you know, I'm rarely ever on it anymore because I personally don't get anything out of it anymore. I don't feel so. And I feel the same way about the people that make this sort of comments. I'm like, you must not have a lot to do that. You feel like you need to interject your opinion about somebody else's life. So it doesn't bother me at all. I think that, like, not including the father, I guess it's just like, well, I guess maybe it's telling about the majority of society, too. Why don't they ask? I mean, personally, I'm fine. I don't need to be a part of it. I don't need to be part of the dialogue. I don't feel left out because, personally, I feel like my role is. It's funny. It's a lot of also how you feel, which is support to you. Yeah, because I know that, obviously. And you also feel the same. I know about me because, you know, I do. I work full time, I do all this stuff, and you try to do whatever you can to support me, but I also support you because you've got more than a full time job with our kids and your job and everything you're doing. So I just. I feel like. I don't know. It's. Part of me wants to think about, like, the people that make those sort of comments, I wonder where they're coming from. Where did they go in their life that makes them feel like that they can judge or make comments about how somebody else is or how family is based off a article that was probably less than a thousand words, right? So, yeah, I don't feel it doesn't bother me. I mean, I know I'm doing right by my family, so I don't feel like there's anything that I need to defend.

[07:36] LORENA EDWARDS: That's awesome. I wish I felt that way because I know I automatically want to defend us immediately, but I honestly had never thought to even say, hey, can I include my husband and my other kiddo? I never thought about that until Amber Briggle said that to me. So when I found myself being in the situation where I was the one reaching out to a family that had a transgender child. And I had that question posed to me. I actually felt pretty bad. I was like, mandy, like, here she is advocating not just for her kid, but also for her family. And I'm just like, yeah, whatever. Who do you need to talk to? Like, I didn't even think about them leaving you out. And I didn't think about that mostly because, like you said, you were working. You know, reporters don't call you and say, like, hey, when is it convenient for you? Like, they're like, I'm gonna go on air in an hour and I need you to be available in 20 minutes. Can you do that? You know, and then.

[08:31] TYLER EDWARDS: Cause they planned well, right?

[08:32] LORENA EDWARDS: Well, exactly. And since we want to try so hard to be there to advocate, we bend over backwards to make sure that it happens, you know, because we don't want them to say, you know what, it's too hard. I can't interview you. We're just going to do this story on something else. So. And that used to be in the beginning, it was like we would jump at every opportunity that somebody wanted to tell Liana's story. We really jumped because we wanted to be there for other people as well. But like you, I mean, I. I know not to read the comments, but unlike you, I always do. And I do that because at some point I knew that Liana was going to be old enough to be able to look at these things herself. And I started to see that a lot of the news, like ABC, NBC, CB's, when they would do interviews, they would put them on YouTube. And so there would be the potential for other people to see us. And what I found was that there was no keeping the public happy. If you weren't there, they would ask immediately, and where's the father in all of this? Because clearly that is why this little boy decided that he wanted to be a girl, because clearly there's no father around. If there was a father around, that wouldn't be the situation. And then in the few interviews that we did do where we were there and all of us were presented, it wasn't any better. It totally wasn't any better because then the people would look at us and be like, well, that's clearly why that child ended up that way. And then I'm, like, really worried about how I look. And I started to get super self conscious about it because, I mean, I am not the most feminine girl anywhere. You know this. I've never been the most feminine girl ever. And at the time, I had cut my hair short just because I'm so lazy and wanted to be able to wash and leave, it had nothing to do with anything other than that. And similarly, you had the same scenario where your hair was long because you wanted to wash and leave and not have to style your hair. You could just throw it in a ponytail. And so I think they saw us, and they were like, well, clearly, the parents are confused about their own identity, and they're basing this based on our hair alone, and that is why their child has come out like this. And so when our youngest child came out also as being gender fluid, I was like, oh, the people are going to have a field day with this. Right? Because they were going to say, like, so not only did they mess up one child, they messed up two. Do you feel like, when did you even have that thought? Like, when our youngest came to us and started to do all of this, did you have the feel like, oh, now they're really going to say this about us?

[11:15] TYLER EDWARDS: No, but, I mean, you know this about me. I generally don't care. Part of my french give a shit what other people think.

[11:23] LORENA EDWARDS: Right, right.

[11:25] TYLER EDWARDS: I do. If it's gonna obviously endanger my family. Yeah, but, like, I just. I feel like. I mean, it goes back to what I said before. Like, people don't have a right to think about this kind of stuff. Like, who are they? I don't know who you are, but, I mean, people don't make those comments because they want to make an impact. They just want to do it to put their voice out there. They want somebody or somewhere somebody to hear them. But that's. That's their hang up, so. No, I mean, I didn't feel like that. When Leo, you know, started to come out, I felt. I mean, you and I both had the same concerns, I think, which was now they want their own limelight.

[12:09] LORENA EDWARDS: Exactly.

[12:10] TYLER EDWARDS: And, I mean. Yeah, I mean, I was kind of worried, like, okay, okay. Really? Is this really what you want? But it was different. It was different with Leo because it wasn't a. It wasn't them. Them being transgender. It was something different. Yeah, but, I mean, luckily, you and I had had some exposure to a lot of the other different type of gender identities. So, like, we did a lot of learning. We figured out what a lot of them were. We learned about kind of what defines them, you know, how do they feel? And I don't know. I feel like at the end of the day, I'm just, like, still my kids. I don't care how they identify.

[12:51] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[12:52] TYLER EDWARDS: They're still my family. I still love them. So, yeah, I just. Yeah, I'm like, if you're gonna judge me by a picture and a thousand word interview, okay, well, that's. That's up to you.

[13:06] LORENA EDWARDS: Do you feel like that? Do you feel like that has changed you? Reading other articles about other people? Like, when you see a picture? Cause I know that this is true of me, but, you know, I've always been the devil's advocate. Right? You know that I'm the kind of person that if we're driving in the car and someone runs right up behind us and almost hits us and swerves around us and cuts us off to try to exit faster, you know, and everybody says, man, that person's a maniac. And I'm probably like, no, they must have explosive diarrhea or something. Like, I am always the devil's advocate in that case. I've always been that way. Yeah, but do you think that being judged and stuff like that on social media, and then I know that you don't read the comments, but you know that I do. So I'm constantly coming to you and telling you about this stuff. Do you feel like that has changed the way that you look at pictures and stories now?

[13:57] TYLER EDWARDS: I think to a degree, yes. I mean, I feel like I am finding myself going from trying not to, I guess, react immediately with emotion, which I think a lot of people are prone to do, myself included, with things. You're the example you gave of getting cut off. But I also. Obviously, you have to be in the right headspace to do this. But I think being able to think about, like, where are they at? Where are they coming from? And it's funny, I actually end up using that same mindset just in my day to day job when I'm helping the people that I work with, because I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on. The client brought up this question, and they're panicked, and they're. This is all they've said, but hold on. Like, why do they even feel like they need to go there? Why do they feel like that's the solution? Like, we need to ask more questions. Like, well, why do you feel that that's what the problem is? Why? Have you thought about this? So, yeah, I mean, I don't know, getting a more holistic picture of every scenario, I think. I'm sure I've learned that from you, so that's hilarious.

[15:14] LORENA EDWARDS: I think I've learned it from you, to be quite honest with you. You mentioned that your role in our family is very supportive and I feel like we're both supportive. And I don't mean just in the word support, but let's even think about it in a dungeons and dragons role. Support. I play the support of the family. Right. That's how I feel that you've been with us as well. Because I think that if we had both been constantly bombarded with the interviews and being in the public and just that extra kind of influx you get of people contacting you and watching you on Facebook and being like, I saw you on the news and strangers just feeling like they can come up to you and talk to you like it's nothing. I feel like if we had both been through that, there wouldn't be one person who was, like, grounded. Yeah. Like, untouched and unsullied, who could be there for the other person. So I feel like that holistic view, I learned it from you because I would come to you and be freaking out and not understand why this person had been so cruel to me and could say such horrible things about our kids and us. And, you know, I learned from you. Consider the source. Like, that was your phrase, you know, what is this person going through that they feel like they need to say this to you? Don't make it completely about you. It might not even be about you. It might be about that other person's experience. Right?

[16:40] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah.

[16:41] LORENA EDWARDS: And so I think I learned that from you. I really do. So I think it's funny that we must have somehow taught each other, going through this scenario about considering, I guess, the entire picture. And I agree with you. That's also been huge in my line of work with the BRCA, with the Borderland Rainbow center. Because oftentimes, I think when we can't understand why someone's panicked or why they're having an experience, it's so easy to just say that they're being difficult instead of saying, like, what are they going through? And so when I read the comments that I read where they call you, you know, very. A very feminine man, and then they call me, like, a super masculine girl or whatever, I start to think about, what did they grow up with? Right? And so that brings me to my next question. Because you've married into a latino family. Right. And I think that comes with its own special set of fun. We have all kinds of great things, but we also have challenges, I think. And, I mean, it's a challenge that I grew up with because, again, I think that being in the hispanic culture, we have kind of dead set roles, gender roles that they consider. And I think my family is not exempt from that. My actual family, you know, I think I was raised with a certain expectation of what girls should be and how they should act. But I also grew up in a family where there were no sons. And so although they expected us to be super feminine and be, you know, how hispanic women are, we were also expected to have a certain level of tenacity. And my father insisted upon raising us so that we never needed a man in our lives because we didn't have brothers, you know, and when he passed away, it was just going to be us. It was going to be the ladies of the house trying to figure ourselves out.

[18:46] TYLER EDWARDS: So you got to take care of yourselves.

[18:48] LORENA EDWARDS: Exactly. So on one hand, he raised us to be super self reliant and not worried about, you know, independent, not worried about having a man in our lives. He taught us to kind of, like, shun that, to, like, surprise the men, you know, like, I'll change my own tire. Back off, you know? But here's the funny thing is, when I got married, they totally flipped on me, and we're like, your husband needs to do that, and your husband needs someone to do this, and you need to be in the kitchen making dinner. Go make dinner in the kitchen. Like, I was so upset.

[19:22] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah.

[19:23] LORENA EDWARDS: And how do you. How do I remember that switch? And it's because it's important. It affects, I think, also our journey with both of our kids having different gender identities. But also that you and I, we really don't subscribe to your typical gender roles. So how did that feel marrying in, as a caucasian white person? How did that feel marrying into this hispanic family?

[19:44] TYLER EDWARDS: I feel well, and I think it's funny for anybody that's listening, obviously, you know, but, I mean, I grew up in Alaska. I was born and raised. I didn't actually leave the state until I was, I believe, 18. So, I mean, I went to school, I did all that stuff. And, like, the majority, if you think about, like, demographics, in where I grew up in Alaska, which was wasilla, which was a pretty small town, I mean, we had paved roads, so, I mean, there's that if to throw out any, you know, weird stereotypes that might be out there, but, I mean, most of my friends obviously were white. I had one friend who was native alaskan. His family was. But I remember at the time thinking, like, it didn't. Like, it didn't even register as a reason to even think about it. But I feel like also, that's because my parents, as much as I hate the white stereotype that seems to be out there about, if you're white, you must at least have some aspect of, like, superiority or you might, you know, just. I don't know. I don't subscribe to that at all. I just think it's horrible. But, I mean, at the same time, like, I know I grew up, though also with. I don't want to say necessarily, like, gendered stereotypes, but I mean, because originally my mom was stay at home and my dad was the one who worked. I mean, that's not that much different from what you and I are now. Right, but you also work, too.

[21:25] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah, but is your mom, or. So did your mom.

[21:28] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah, and my mom used to work, too. Like, she worked for the school district.

[21:31] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah, just like me.

[21:32] TYLER EDWARDS: Just like you do. And did.

[21:34] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah.

[21:35] TYLER EDWARDS: And I think that, you know, and then coming to, you know, us moving to, obviously, Arizona, very, very similar, I guess. Similar. I mean, generally, the demographic is pretty similar, whether it's a lot of white people. I know there's a lot more of a diverse mix compared to Alaska, but. And then I feel like, you know, obviously coming to El Paso and getting to know your family, like, I literally had no exposure to hispanic culture at all before that. Yeah, no. Like, I literally took, like, a quarter in high school of Spanish. And that was it. That was. That was my exposure to it. And I feel like, I mean, coming into, you know, and getting to know your family and getting to know the culture and just the kind of things that you're slowly introduced to and just how people talk and how people have those, like, unspoken expectations. I think that, I mean. I mean, I'm not a typical guy. I don't work on cars. I don't do. I don't do all the stuff that people think typical guys do. So, I mean, I love computer games. I like to play role playing games. I've got some slight physical hobbies. I mean, I made chainmail for a while. I mean, you know, but I don't do the. Well, the dad's got to do this. The dad's like this. Like, even my own father didn't, like, he didn't push that, like, gendered stereotype. He was just like, take care of your family.

[23:13] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[23:14] TYLER EDWARDS: I mean, that's not a gendered statement.

[23:16] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[23:16] TYLER EDWARDS: And, I mean, I feel like that helped me a lot, I guess, just growing up and being an adult. But, I mean, I mean, we talked about, obviously, the hispanic culture. You know, there is the machismo. You know, if you're a guy, you're this way, and if you're a girl, you're this way.

[23:33] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[23:35] TYLER EDWARDS: I mean, I really didn't see a lot of that, I think, until we ended up actually moving in with your parents.

[23:42] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah.

[23:43] TYLER EDWARDS: And I know that was. It was tough because I know that obviously I was working. I wasn't at the greatest job at the time.

[23:53] LORENA EDWARDS: It was what we could do.

[23:54] TYLER EDWARDS: It was what we needed to do to get by. And I remember there were definitely a lot of times, though, for sure, that, like, your parents had, like, weird expectations of you and I. And it's weird because it's not that way now.

[24:09] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[24:10] TYLER EDWARDS: But maybe, I don't know. It was just because we were all a lot younger.

[24:14] LORENA EDWARDS: I don't know if you and Liana. I think the journey with Liana has also changed a lot of that.

[24:19] TYLER EDWARDS: True, true. I think they've become a lot more understanding. But, I mean, to me, I don't, like, I definitely don't want to discount culture, but I also, like, don't subscribe to the negative or toxic aspects of it.

[24:37] LORENA EDWARDS: Agreed.

[24:38] TYLER EDWARDS: And I think we both have had to stand our ground, really, in the face of, well, this is how you're supposed to be, or why don't you do this? Or why don't you do that? And I think it's interesting, too, because also that's distance dust and not in a bad way from a lot of your side of the family, too.

[24:57] LORENA EDWARDS: Agreed.

[24:58] TYLER EDWARDS: Because they are, obviously a lot of them are the older generation and they all still subscribe to a lot of that.

[25:05] LORENA EDWARDS: Agreed.

[25:06] TYLER EDWARDS: And, I mean, we've had to cut people out of our lives. We have because of how they feel. And if they're un, you know, supportive. Right. Unmoving in the way that they feel about our kids and about our family, then they don't need to be in our lives. So.

[25:26] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah, I remember it being just so difficult. I know that because, you know, when we first got married, we were in Arizona and we were away from the family, and then the economy tanked and took us down just like it took everybody else down. But it was interesting how it took us down because it took our jobs down, really. And that was what forced us, you know, along with doing the typical hispanic thing of going home to take care of an ill person. Right. So, like, my grandmother got super sick and my mom was the one who was taking care of her. And so obviously we were all struggling because of the economy, but we had started our marriage and started our journey as parents alone in Arizona. Like, my sister lived there, too, but we didn't have really, either set of parents overlooking us, because your parents kind of. They lived close, but they weren't with.

[26:18] TYLER EDWARDS: Us, so they weren't as involved.

[26:20] LORENA EDWARDS: So we kind of formed, I felt like our own style of support for each other, right. I felt like we fell into our own roles that worked perfectly for us. And I think that's why it was such a shock when we all moved back. My sister, you, me, we all moved to Texas at the same time. And we had to move in with my parents because, again, the economy had tanked and the jobs were not there. And that's also, by the way, a super lucky, nutty to do move back in with your parents. You see, you've seen, right, that we have our kids move back in with us as adults. They live with us for a long time. They take care of us. It's not uncommon to see several generations in the same house. That's just what we do. So when we moved back in with my parents, well, not back in, but in with my parents, it was you and I, two toddlers and two dogs, you know, and it was very much like we had to be grateful that they were even taking us in, you know? So we had to kind of subscribe to what they expected of us while we were there until we could get on our feet and try our best to get out of there. Right? And we had two sons at the time, and I felt like we were constantly under a magnifying glass because they expected us to be a certain way. And, I mean, it wasn't just what they expected of you, it was what they expected of me. And it was like, I'm not used to letting go of power of that, you know, like, and that's not even a power that my husband wants to have over. Like, I handle that, you know? And I think that they made us question each other a lot, you know, to our own detriment, because that almost destroyed our marriage. I found that when we got back out and we were able to fall back into our own roles that we kind of just decided were our roles, I felt like that was when we were strong enough to say, well, we're not the typical, right? Yeah, we're not the typical. And a lot of times that can be viewed, at least in my family, as a watering down of our culture because we're not subscribing to all those cultural type things. It's very much like you and I are combining our type of and creating our own culture because we are a multicultural family. And I think that having Liana and Leo both also questioning their genders and having a different gender identity than what is the typical atypical, whatever expectations. I think that that kind of, it galvanized us. It kind of, like, made us strong enough to say we're defending the kiddos, but we're also defending ourselves.

[29:01] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah.

[29:02] LORENA EDWARDS: So I know that that has become an issue, especially in the area when we're featured in local stories and stuff that they do come at us. Right. They want you to be super masculine. They want me to be super feminine. And somehow that was going to fix. Fix a problem that doesn't need to be fixed. Yeah, exactly.

[29:23] TYLER EDWARDS: Exactly.

[29:24] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah. I felt the exact same way on that as well. So I definitely wanted to bring that up because I know that the cultural aspects of this stuff can really, I don't know, it kind of guides the way that we think things are. But do you think that that is when we talk about how other parents are accepting their children? Because you and I have become very active within the borderland Rainbow center at, you know, helping other parents right through this process. I guess, like, when they first come in to see us, they're usually at the very beginning of this journey. And at that point, can you remember back to how we felt in the beginning and the parents that we got to meet versus the parents that we're meeting now? Like, what are the differences that you've noted in that?

[30:19] TYLER EDWARDS: I mean, obviously, when we first started, you know, going to the support groups for parents, I think that we. I mean, we were in the same boat as a lot of the parents we see now, which is they don't know, and they don't know what. They don't know what to do. They don't know a lot of times what's happening. And the part that I feel bad for a lot of them is a lot of them come from, you know, come up with their own hang ups, with their own cultural, like, lenses that they're seeing everything through. And, I mean, all the parents that are coming to see us, you know, you know, they're all doing it from a place of love and from a place of support, and they want to be able to support their kids, but I think a lot of them also are having a hard time internally with how do they reconcile both parts of it. So, I mean, I know that you and I obviously came in kind of like, so what do we do? You know, we weren't sure, but we were supportive. We were like, we're here. We want to know what we want to do. But, and I think now, you know, we've been going on and off from the support group for three, four years, I think, at this point.

[31:37] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah, we're almost at five.

[31:38] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah. So it's been a while, but now the parents that we see coming in are at various stages. You know, their children just barely told them that they feel different or maybe they're a year into it. Some of them have kids that are older than ours.

[31:53] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[31:54] TYLER EDWARDS: You know, and they're talking about, you know, their transitional stories and the parents struggle with it and stuff. And, you know, I feel like, too, I mean, I think what's interesting is, at least personally, I've felt that this also makes me kind of a lot more aware of others and how they see, I guess, the LGBTQ community because of the fact that obviously we are in it.

[32:27] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[32:28] TYLER EDWARDS: We're a part of it. It's not just like I'm an ally, like, I'm in it. So I always am, you know, a little cautious, I guess, when I'm around other people. So I think that's something that I'm always kind of feeling out and listening.

[32:46] LORENA EDWARDS: You still feel that?

[32:47] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah, I still do. I think as long as we're in Texas, I feel like that's always gonna be a concern. And I think that's something you and I have talked at length on, which is this is not the greatest state to be in, you know, just because of all the laws that they've been trying to pass and all of the threats. I mean, indirect, but things that, you know, threaten to hurt, you know, families.

[33:15] LORENA EDWARDS: Agreed.

[33:16] TYLER EDWARDS: And, you know, so, I mean, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna be paranoid about it, but I'm gonna be cautious.

[33:25] LORENA EDWARDS: Right.

[33:25] TYLER EDWARDS: And I'm gonna watch and I'm gonna listen and I'm gonna be aware and, yeah, I mean, it's something that I feel you just have to be.

[33:35] LORENA EDWARDS: Yeah. And, you know, it's when you bring up the laws that makes me think of another aspect of my family that I'm, like, super grateful about. And just like I was telling you about how the kiddos always keep seeming to move back, and there's always that multi generational thing, right? And I was noticing just the other day we were talking about differences in generation, even about how, you know, like, maybe my dad's generation got to be a certain age, and as soon as they could get a car, man, they were out, you know, like, they wanted their own independence. And then it started to, like, wane a little bit with, like, our generation. We were like, okay, so we want our own independence, but, like, maybe not as badly.

[34:18] TYLER EDWARDS: Maybe it's not as feasible as it was.

[34:21] LORENA EDWARDS: And then we started talking about our kids generation, and they're like, you know, my daughter is like, I'm living with you for the rest of my life. Like, I never want to leave, and what do I need a driver's license for? I'll get a job, mom, and I'll just pay you to drive me. And I'm like, you would not have to pay me to drive you. But they don't have this desire, per se, not all of them, to automatically flee the coup. Right? So the reason that I say I'm super grateful about my family is because our generation, I know several people who are trans who don't have that support, that family support. And it's their truth, whether they are hispanic or white or african american. They just have, our generation is kind of still at the brink of, there's still some very supportive parents because they're in the older generation, and some who have been willing to become supportive, like ours, we lucked out in that because we got, although our parents are older, they both sets have been very supportive. So one of the things that I noticed is that even though they're older, like, they are trying to flee their parents, like, they're trying to flee their families, and they're building their families kind of separate and starting over in another place where they can kind of have their own safety and separate from that situation. And so one of the things that I kind of liked about what I consider in our immediate family, because we've discussed that there's people in our family that we've had to distance ourselves from, from my side of the family because of that, you know, that thought process. But one of the things that I noted was that when we were talking about being afraid and terrorized in Texas and that this isn't the best place to live, even though, honestly, El Paso is probably the only blue part, super, super blue part of Texas, there are other sections of it that are kind of purple ish, but for the most part, it's red. And so I grew up in a bubble. I grew up here in a bubble. And we're all fearful now when, I mean, you know, Texas legislation is starting just this upcoming week, and we're all starting to freak out again about what the governor is going to do, the attorney general. You know, we're just very concerned. We're super concerned. And so we talked about with my parents about, like, you know, what we would have to do if we would have to suddenly move, where would we go? Where would it even be safe, you know? And the beautiful thing that I thought of was that when I mentioned, you know, well, we might have to leave or something, my mom was instantly like, well, where are we going? You know, instantly. It wasn't like, you guys are going by yourselves and you're moving because you're moving to keep your kiddos safe. It was like, where is. Where are all of us going? Because we are all packing up, you know? My dad was like, we're moving to Costa Rica. And I'm like, no, that's not going to happen, dad. But I thought that that was a beautiful part of this as well, because I think that is kind of a big part of our culture, is that, you know, we are lucky that they've been so supportive, but that they'll also, even though we'll have to fight some of those gendered roles, they would be willing to pick up and move to any part of this world just to keep us safe.

[37:37] TYLER EDWARDS: Definitely.

[37:38] LORENA EDWARDS: So I think that's beautiful.

[37:40] TYLER EDWARDS: Yeah. No, I would agree.

[37:42] LORENA EDWARDS: So do you have, like, any last minute things that you'd like to advocate for as the daddy figure in the situation?

[37:51] TYLER EDWARDS: No, I don't think so. I mean, I feel like, like we've said before, I'm here to support, so I agree.

[37:59] LORENA EDWARDS: I think the only thing I would add is that being the daddy figure in this situation looks different everywhere. I think now that families have different setups and might have two daddies or two mommies or, you know, maybe just even one. One parent. Some even have three or four. So I think that it doesn't really matter what the makeup is, as long as the intent is good and kind and loving. I think that you just agreed form what works for your family. Definitely, that's what I would end with.