Unifying talent

00:00 Like, to hear about your name. What does your name mean, and why did your parents name you ngozi?

00:08 Yes. So my name is. It's actually. It's funny because my name sounds unique in America, but my name is actually very, very, very common in Nigeria. Like, extremely. Almost like every other person you meet name is Ngozi So that's why when I was younger, I used to be so confused, like, why people were like, my name was unique because my name is so common in Nigeria. My name means blessing in Igbo. That's one of the languages in Nigeria. And I was the last child. I'm the last. I'm the youngest of my siblings, so, like, they just thought I was, like, a blessing to the family, so that's why I was named Ngozi But it's funny because in Ngozi and blessing, they're just so interchangeable. So some of my aunts, um, actually call me, like, blessing, but my name's Ngozi And I, like, ever since I was younger, people would be like, oh, like, do you have a nickname? Because, like, my name is hard to pronounce. But I've always been super proud of my name. Like, I never felt the need to have to give myself a nickname or change it because I was born in America, but my name is still, like, my heritage is, like, my identity, just a lot of, because Nguzi's nigerian name. So just by random people hearing my name, they're just like, oh, you're nigerian, aren't you? I'm just like, yeah, because you can't. You can't tell that I'm nigerian just from looking at me. It's when you hear my name, you can tell what I am. So I just feel like that's a part of my identity. Even when I go to, like, starbucks or Dunkin, they ask for my name. I don't. I always say it's in Ngozi and I'm like, it's ngo zi. I don't ever say, like, oh, just call me like, n. I just feel like my parents blessed me with my name, and I'm really proud and love my name, so I know it's hard to pronounce, but I'm like, everyone can pronounce it. You just have to just work on it. So, yeah, that's probably about it for my name.

02:08 Yeah. And then there's the second question about a place, right?

02:18 Yes. The second question is a special place. Yeah.

02:21 So, please, Ngozi tell me about a special place in your life.

02:26 So this is kind of what me and Tamar had in common. Our special places were both places outside of America. Hers was from where she was from, and mine's from where I'm from. So, like I said previously, I'm nigerian. And the first time I went to Nigeria was in 2016, 2017. I have never been before that. And just going to Nigeria was just an amazing experience. Like, it was an extreme culture shock because it's so different from America. And I think going to Nigeria just made me love my heritage even more. Cause everything I knew about Nigeria was from my parents because I never been there before that. So going to Nigeria and just experiencing everything they told me I was going to experience was amazing. So how it happened was, like, my parents, since I was, like, six years old, my parents were saying, like, I really want you guys to go to Nigeria. But one ticket to go to Nigeria is $1,200. And I have five siblings and my two parents, and we were all, like, younger, so we couldn't, like, pay for our own ticket. So we were just like, in my head, I'm like, I'm probably going to go to Nigeria in my twenties when I can, like, afford a ticket on my own just because it's so expensive. But one day they were just like, we're going to Nigeria. And then I was just like, yeah, like, I know we're going to go eventually, but no, the tickets is brought just to find out that they've just been saving for years and years for to get all of us tickets to go to Nigeria. But not only that is they've been building a house in Nigeria since I was, like, ten years old, and the house was finally complete. So it's just crazy because I was telling tamara this in our previous interviews. Like, in Nigeria, there's no. Do you know, in America, there's poor, middle class and rich. In Nigeria, there's not really poor, middle class rich. It's really just poor rich. You either have money or you don't. So coming to Nigeria, they thought my family was rich just because we live in America, but it's not like that. So our house in Nigeria is extremely. It's big. Way bigger than the house I'm in now. But it's because in Nigeria, you just have to pay for the land. You don't have to, like, pay all these, like, mortgages and all these stuff, like we do in America. So just going to visit my house in Nigeria was just. Just so amazing because my parents have been building this house for years, and just to see, like, it's in the village and how the villages are, they're all connected. Like, my grandmother's house is in the same compound, my uncle's house. Like, it's just really interconnected. Like in America, everyone's just so spread it out. But Nigeria, it's like I always say, I feel home. It's just a sense of community. I walk two steps and I'm with my uncle. I walk like five steps to the left. I'm with my grandmother. Walk ten steps to the back, my aunt. So it's just, and I'm, I'm a big on family. I'm really big about family. So just experiencing that was just so amazing. I'm just, because most of my family live in Nigeria. Like my aunt and uncles, they mostly live in Nigeria. So just getting. And we stay there for a month because the tickets are so expensive. So just being able to stay there and like, just be with my grandmother, be with my uncle, be with with my cousins, it's just such an amazing experience that I wish upon everyone because it's just like, there's no sense of home. There's no sense of just being with your family, literally just in this compound. And so, like, that is, that will always be my special place, my house in Nigeria. We haven't been able to go for the past two years because of COVID But I'm praying we can go next December. But like, every time I go, I just, like, I just lay in my bed. I'm just so grateful for the life I have and just everything. Because obviously, like, I'm human, I complain. But just seeing in Nigeria things people don't have just makes you extremely, extremely grateful for what you do have. And I'm extremely grateful for my parents and just, yeah, I just, I love it. That's, that's like my home.

06:19 Wonderful. Yeah. Also, you, you mentioned a story about something that happened in the house. Right?

06:29 Is it with the water?

06:31 With the water and the break in and I don't know if you want to get into it.

06:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, so you don't really pay.

06:37 A lot of the special memory maybe is that question has to do with the special memories.

06:42 It's with the house. It's so still the special place because she, um, I was telling her how you don't pay like a water bill, how you do here. So how it is, it's like, in the back of your house is this big water tank. And there's like a water truck that refills it every time it runs out. So, like, I didn't know that, because we don't have that in America. You can just keep your tap on. It doesn't stop. So, like. And I use a lot of water when I brush my teeth, when I shower. And I remember my mom would come in and just like, stop using all that water. And I'm like, this is like. I was like, why? Like, it's water. And then my mom pointed to the tank in the back. She's like, you see that tank? Every time you pour water, that tank is getting lower and lower. And I guess it's kind of expensive because it's a big tank, but I guess it's kind of expensive to refill the tank. So that just showed me, like, first world problems like that. I was just like, I was so confused. I'm just like, huh? Like, you never yell at me, like, for leaving the tap on. Like, even when I was dripping, she's like, these drips. Like, everything counts. And that just showed me, I was just like, wow. Like, at home, I just, like, leave the water running sometimes, just like when I'm doing dishes. And it just made me more grateful of just about the situation that I'm in. And even now, like, I say water now, I'm just like, okay. Like, yes, we still have running water in America, but it's still a water bill that you have to pay. So it made me way more conscious, which is a good trait that I think I picked up.

08:02 Well, I think we have that in common, because I'm very conscious of saving water. Yes. I grew up in a dry desert environment and all over Israel, in fact, there was a campaign to save water for many years, and I still have those habits. I use a trickle when I wash dishes. I use hot, very low pressure when I shower. I lower the pressure.

08:33 That's my parents. Yeah.

08:36 So that's part of being connected to a world where these resources are not that plentiful and you have to be mine. And now it's true all over the world, because we have the climate change and the drying of the planet and the necessity to save on resources, water is one of the most valuable ones, because without water, there's no life, so.

09:02 Yep.

09:05 Good. So that's it for that. Okay, so a special memory from. I think that's the next question, right?

09:18 Yes. What is your favorite childhood memory?

09:20 Yeah. So what is a special memory you can share with us, Ngozi?

09:29 So, like, again, because me and Tamar have so much in common, mine is also food. I talked about how when I was younger, maybe from the ages of like six to like, twelve. Six to 13. My dad would always make these huge, huge pancakes in the morning and the smell of the pancakes would always wake me up. And I just, like, every time I talk about this, I just, like, get a flashback to, like, me being seven years old. I would wake up and the smell of the pancakes would literally wake me up from my sleep and I would. This. It was every single Saturday morning. And then I would just get a. So happy because I'm just like, I know what's downstairs, and then I'll come downstairs and the pancake was literally, like, overflow, overfilling the plate. It was a big plate and the pancake was bigger than the plate. And since I was, like, when I was younger, my dad would always cut it up into pieces. But when I got older, I could obviously cut up myself and it was just. It was just like an extreme bonding event because it was all my. We were all young. Now, my siblings, they're all older, so, like, some of them have kids, some of them are married, some of them moved out, so. But when we were younger, we're just all this, like, little community, this little tribe, I like to say. So I'll sit at the kitchen table, my mom, dad, my three sisters and my brother, and we would just eat these pancakes that my dad made. And it was just. It was a love language and in a way, because obviously, I always thanked my dad for making it, but at that moment, I didn't think twelve years later I would still be talking about those pancakes. And it was funny because recently my dad was just like, you remember those pancakes I used to make? Like, I need to make them again. And, like, I actually, like, started tearing up. I'm just like, like, that is just like the epitome of my childhood. I don't know why, but every time when someone says childhood memory, childhood memory, I'm just like, pancakes. And it's weird because when I go out for breakfast, I don't get pancakes. Like, I get french toast, I get waffles. It's not like pancakes is my favorite breakfast food, but it's just specifically when my dad makes it. And sometimes, like, my dad would be in a rush and the pancakes would even be like, good. Sometimes it would be battery. But I still loved it. Like, it was. It was still, like the best thing in the world to me. Like, you couldn't tell me anything. I'm like, nope, these are my dad's pancakes. Like, I love them. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Like, he honestly could have just like, put, like, I don't know, like, salt in the pink, like something disgusting. And I still would have been like, my pancakes. Like, it's just, um, because I'm really, really, really close to my dad. Like, I always say, my dad's my best friend. So, um, I just. Us eating the pancakes together, and I would always be like, every time you sit in the kitchen table, everyone knew not to sit next to my dad because, like, they knew that's my seat. Like, that's so just sitting, like, next to him. And he would cut up my pancakes and, like, we would just eat pancakes together that I feel like even when I'm, like, 80 years old, I'm gonna be like, my dad's pancake. Yep. That's my favorite child memory. And sometimes, like, I went to this breakfast place and I just smell pancakes, but for some reason it smelled like my dad's pancakes. And I just got, like, nostalgia. I was just like, whoa. Like, I just felt like I was back in, like, 2008, 2009, and I don't know, like, that's a memory that I'm so grateful my dad did that for years, and that's a memory that I will remember, like, for the rest of my life.

12:42 Does he know that? Ngozi, did you tell him that?

12:44 You know, I actually, actually didn't tell him that. I'm going now. I'm going to tell him, but he actually doesn't know, like, how much of an impact those pancakes has on me today.

12:56 And it's amazing. Here I am in my late sixties, and I still, that food, memories of my grandmother's cookies, is still something that will always come to the forefront of my memory when I think of a favorite food experience. Right? Yeah.

13:15 Food is a very big trigger for things just because absolutely unlocks a lot of memories. You didn't know you had people together.

13:24 It symbolizes so much community and love and friendship, and I think I've heard not one, quite a few people. You know, somebody said, what is your favorite thing to do? Is, like, share a meal with friends.

13:38 Yeah.

13:40 And family. And for me, I think that's high on my list of favorite experiences too.

13:46 Yep.

13:47 Yeah. So that's why it's good to all these suffering refugees now in Ukraine and all over the world from wars. And when people get together to cook for them, volunteers set up makeshift kitchens and cook foods and meals for these people. Warm food. It's so important, important to support that. Yeah.

14:16 Yep.

14:18 Okay, so I think we are down to our fourth question, right? The last one of how would you like to be remembered, like, young woman, and you have a long ways to go.

14:30 But, yeah, I always say, God willing, I hope I have many, many, many more years. So I actually do because she asked me. She was like, do you think about this question? It's just like, I think about it, but I don't try to think about in an airy way, like, just in case. I just think about it about, like, how would I be remembered? But I'm hoping that my eulogy won't be years and years and years from now, but how I'd like to be remembered is. My senior year of high school, I was applying to schools, and one of the questions was, what's a talent that you have? And my mentor at the time, she was my mentor since freshman year. I had a real mentor then. I had an unofficial mentor. She was my unofficial mentor. Her name was Miss Rockwood. I was just like, I can't answer this question. She was like, why? I said, because I don't have any talents. And then she said, what do you mean? Yes, you do. I was just like, what's my talent? Like, I did track. I was like, track is not a talent. Like, I just do it, like, to stay in shape. She's like. Like, she got sad because she was just like, I can't believe you don't know the talent that you have. And I was just like, what is it? She said, you have a unifying personality. You bring unallike people together. And when she said that, I was like, whoa. I was just like, wait. And I was just thinking back in my life, like, just with a lot of the friends. A lot of friends. I made the friendships happen. Just, oh, like, meet her. Like, you guys have this in common or, like, get out your comfort zone. Talk to her. She was like, I've seen. Because she was also my teacher. She was like, I've seen your work firsthand. I've literally seen you bring people together. And she was just like, that's a. That is an amazing talent that you go so far in life that you have. And then I was just like, whoa. And then she was just giving me examples of just, like, you made her join this club. These two girls are now best friends. They didn't really know each other before, and I guess when I. When I just, like, I always say that I don't like anyone to feel like an outsider, so I. There's someone for everyone. Like, I don't. I truly don't believe in outsiders. I believe there's someone for everyone. So when I'm just like, okay, you guys should talk. Like, you don't. You're new, and you're new, like, just be friends. And I just did that just because I don't like awkward situations. I like everyone just to be friends and get to know each other, so I just never thought that was a talent. I just thought that was just more of a personality trait. I thought it was a personality trait to, like, to bring people together. But she said it was a talent, and then that. Those words. She said this to me four years ago now, and those words, I still remember it. Like, it just happened, even, like, yesterday. So me and my friends, we went out, so I have two friends that don't know each other, and we all went out together, and I was just like, oh, like, guys get to know each other because they're juniors and I'm a senior, so I'm graduating this year. But they all found out they're living in the same building next year, so they all took each other's contact information. They're like, okay, like, we're going to be hanging out next year. And then I was just like, wow, I did it again. Because I was just like, this is. And I. It's not like I'm just like, hey, you guys be friends. It's just. I always say it's a personality trait, but I guess it's a gift that I have. I just. I really, really just like people coming together because some. Some people are just shy, and they need someone to get them out of their comfort zone, and I feel like I'm that person to get you out of your comfort zone, to meet someone. So, um, one way, I guess you could say I would like to be remembered is just my unif. My unifying talent. I guess you can say I like to bring people together. I don't judge. Like, I don't care who you are. Like, if we're compatible, I want to be your friend. This is more for, like, a broad senses of how I would want to be remembered. Career wise, how to want to be remembered is I'm really into skincare, so I want to be a dermatologist. So eventually, hopefully, like, maybe 1015 years from now, I want to open up, like, my own skincare clinic. And being african american, there's not a lot of african american dermatologists, so a lot of african american skin conditions, like psoriasis, skin cancers, sometimes get misdiagnosed or just. They're just like, I don't know what this is. It's because they don't specialize in darker skin tones. That's why there's been petitions like, we need more african american dermatologists to work with darker skin tones. So I would definitely want to advocate way more for different skin issues that happen more with African Americans, because even some skin cancers can get misdiagnosed with, like, something simple, but it's actually skin cancer, which is really sad. And I was just reading this article. Now they're adding more dark skin models in, like, school, but before they used to work with white models, so when they saw a dark skinned patient, it was just like, wait, this looks different on you, so it can be this, but it turned out to be the same disease. So I would like, hopefully like to have my own clinic where I just teach people, you know, these things. Aware people, give people awareness of just different skin conditions that different ethnicities can have. It's just, you know, the world is just not one color, the world's multiple color. So you should be able to adapt and work with everyone, even if you're not the same skin color as someone. So that is one that is more of a career goal, but, like, all in all, just a unifying talent. Just be remembered for my unifying. My unifying my unifying talent. And, yeah, people say I'm kind and sweet, so I guess those are good, too.

19:53 But, yeah, I think your wonderful personality traits go along with your career choice.

20:00 Yeah.

20:01 This is a career where you work with people. Yep. And in a very intimate way, because you're dealing with skin, and. And so that's great. I think you're onto something really important, and I wish you a lot of success.

20:17 Thank you so much.