Vastupal Kinkhabwala and Sonia Kinkhabwala

00:01 My name is Sonia Kinkabuala and The date is December 19th. It's a Sunday and it is 11:27am and I'm sitting here with my grandfather.

00:14 My name is Vastupal My Pooja Kinkhabwala she gave Vastupal name. Vastupal is original is that was my name. But when I was born my grandfather he told me hey, this is Vastupal So my name was Vastupal

00:42 What does that mean? Dala?

00:43 Vastupal means no price. No price. Free. Free.

00:47 Oh my God.

00:49 Before two years Mahesh Kaka was born. His name was Mahesh That's a Vastupal and Mahesh both were after four daughters. They were coming here. Okay. Mahesh Kaka. And then two years I was born.

01:06 So how did it make you feel when your grandfather said that.

01:12 Mahesh Kaka was very bright. He was excellent. But me, I was not bright. I said I don't want to study. I don't want to study. But the thing is I was not good enough. I was not good enough because I studying. I was zero. I did not study very well. In the first standard I developed six subjects. I was two. I was pale.

01:47 Wow.

01:47 So they tell they to go to a second player second standard. In a second standard I also to Napaste. Samathi Beman Napaste. I was on a third standard. I was pushed up. Then my father said you got to do something because I am not studying. I have to study. I have to study. So he told Mahesh bhai, go to New high school. Go to a good teacher. For first of all.

02:24 So Mahesh bhai found tutor.

02:28 JP the way. JP the way JP the way. He is excellent teacher. He. In the third standard he gave me every day homework. Everyday homework. I was tired but I had to do it. I had to do it. Homework. One I said I don't want to do homework. I did not do it.

02:50 Is this homework that you did in addition to your other school?

02:55 Yeah.

02:55 Oh wow.

02:57 Jagdish B was excellent teacher. He was a nice teacher. He tell me, I mean I say I don't want to do homework. Homework. Then my papa says forget. I mean Vastupal, you have to study. You have to study. So then I say okay, I will study. Then on the third standard I thought for the first time in my life I got fully passed.

03:25 Wow Dada.

03:27 I was fully passed. Everybody was. Then I went to four standard and after 50 students I was number one.

03:37 Wow.

03:37 Now we're number one. JPEG was excellent. He Was teacher.

03:41 So after you worked with JP then you got from low low to number one.

03:46 To number one.

03:48 Wow.

03:48 In my 50 students I was number one.

03:51 Wow.

03:52 Then after fourth standard, sixth standard then I was one to five. I was once nice bright student. I was bright. Then I said I have to study. I have to study. I changed my mind. I have to study.

04:09 Did you like studying? When you started to do well then I know that.

04:13 Then I say I am doing very good so why do I do it? Was excellent teacher.

04:22 So what was your favorite subject in school? Lala.

04:25 In the school. I mean not Gujarati but the thing is mathematics is a nice subject. Mathematics.

04:33 So you liked mathematics?

04:35 I liked mathematics.

04:36 Okay. Because I remember you saying before JP you weren't good at mathematics but afterward you learned to like it.

04:43 That's right. JP the way he's excellent teacher. He's still living at 94 years. He lives in Arizona right now.

04:52 He lives in Arizona?

04:53 Yeah. He's in Arizona.

04:56 Was he living in the United States when you came to the United States?

04:59 I came to United States but afterwards he came to United States also. Okay.

05:05 Have you seen him since he was living in?

05:07 Yeah. Yeah. He come here. I see him. He's excellent teacher. Excellent.

05:13 Has anybody. Has dad or Sanjugaka met him or did Ba meet him?

05:17 No, I didn't know. I didn't. He lives in Arizona right now. He's 94 years old. He's an excellent teacher. Nice teacher. Because of him I went up. Otherwise I was going to go down. I was going to go down. After he came, I went to Hawaii. I said I have to study now. I have to study. He made me study.

05:42 Did you ever tell him how thankful you were for him?

05:45 Yes, I told him because of you I'm going up. I'm going to go up.

05:50 What did he say when you said that to him?

05:52 He said it's my duty. It's my duty. And the first time when Papaji told 25 rupees per month. 25 rupees.

06:02 It's a lot. Back then it's nothing.

06:05 Then when I get to fully pass in third standard, Papaji raised his price to 35 rupees.

06:12 Oh my gosh.

06:13 He was excellent teacher.

06:14 So the better you did the more because of him.

06:17 Because of him I gave credit to him. Mahesh Kaka was very bright. He was very bright.

06:25 Did he also work with him?

06:27 What?

06:27 Did he also work with jp?

06:29 Yeah, yeah. No, he. When JP Dave came to in the evening to teach us. He teach me in a mask sitting down there, Right there. They did not. J.P. dave did not do for Mahesh Kaka for me. But Mahesh Kaka was sitting down very bright.

06:49 Did you ever feel bad that Maishkaka wasn't. You didn't need that. Didn't work with him in that way.

06:56 No, no, that's okay. Because I knew. Yeah, I knew. Because I have to study now. I have to study because Jai P. Dubai.

07:03 Yeah, I know.

07:04 Because of JP Dabai.

07:05 Was he nice to you?

07:07 Who?

07:07 JP David.

07:08 JP Dabai was excellent teacher. And he said. I mean he made me code from teacher to study. And I didn't want to study before. But then he came. He made me study very good. He made me something. He told me that I have to study. I have to study.

07:36 Wow.

07:37 That's excellent teacher.

07:38 That's so nice to have a person in your life like that.

07:40 I know. Then I went to metric. I went to metric. But in matric I got 60, 70% mark. It was not enough for Gujarat College. Gujarat college was very good college in Ahmedabad. I got applied. I did not get in.

08:02 You didn't get in.

08:03 You didn't get in. So I went to MG Science second class. So two years I study in Inter. I got 65%. Then I told my father, papa, I want to quit medicine. My father said no, Raju is medicine. Raju pillow. Maheshaka was medicine. What you want to do with two people in medicine? You don't want to go. He was a. I didn't want to go. I had to believe him.

08:35 So even when you were a little boy did you want to be a doctor?

08:39 Yes, I want to be a doctor. But my papa says no, you don't want to be so. So papa was very strict. Excellent. Very strict. He did not want to say mummy or Jeetu bhai or Mahesh Kaka. But he want to do whatever he wants to do.

08:57 How did it feel to grow up with a father like that?

09:02 I say I don't like it. But I cannot say anything to him. Because he was autocrat. Autocrat.

09:10 How did you. Oh, go ahead.

09:12 So papa says you have to go to medicine. No, don't go to medicine. You go to engineering. Then I go to engineering. But thing is in engineering I did not get no admission. No admission. Then he went to. I mean Arvind Milma, Jata Dhapachi. Somebody told my papa, sir, why don't you try to engine textile? That my papa said, my goodness. I did not realize. So I get to admission in PJTI in Bombay.

09:47 So your dad told you to do textiles.

09:49 Textile.

09:50 Okay.

09:51 I didn't want to. But because he says you go to textile. So. Period.

09:56 Okay.

09:57 So we had to believe him. We had to. There is no choice.

10:03 Do you think that Mahashtaka wanted to be a doctor? Or did your dad tell him he had to be a doctor?

10:09 No. He had to be a doctor. He wanted to be doctor. He was a very bright, excellent bride. So papa says okay, you do whatever you want. Medicine. Medicine. He didn't say anything to him.

10:22 Because he was. He knew. He thought he was smart. So he could make the decision.

10:26 He was smart.

10:27 But he told you what you had to do.

10:29 I have to. I cannot go to medicine. Why? Because Maheshak is going to medicine. Did you ever wish like Rajiv and Sanju? I don't want to tell you. But the thing is. Rajiv was medicine from the beginning. And Sanju was. I mean he was very bright. Very bright. Harvard, Madhya Pasartha. Then he went to Telugu medicine.

10:58 He had three jobs before he went to medical school.

11:02 Because of heat. He came back one day in the evening. Papa, I want UB Medicine. Are you crazy? You did this one and now you go to medicine. I cannot say him.

11:12 No.

11:13 He let him go. Not like my papa.

11:16 Papa.

11:16 No. You have to. I have. Then Sanju went to medicine from the top. On the bottom. He went all the way on the top.

11:27 Wow. That's like you.

11:30 No, I was dummy.

11:32 No. But you said when you were working with JP Davit you went from the bottom to the top.

11:36 That's right. I went. But in the beginning I was like this. 0. I'm not like Raju and Sanju. They are excellent. And I am zero. Because of mummy. Because of mummy. Mummy did very good job. Excellent job for both of them. They are very good. They are excellent.

12:01 How did. When you know you had a certain type of father, right? He was very strict. But when you became a father how did you want to be with dad and Sanjugaka?

12:12 I want to be good father. Not like my father. My father said do this, do this. Do this. You have to do it. No choice. Because of me and Sahajun. Sanju. I am very happy with them. I say I am not that strict like my father. I say, Raju said you want to be doctor. Okay, no problem. Sanju said you want to be doctor. What I can do can be a doctor. Both of them are excellent. My Bhagwan and Asaraku. They are very good boys. Very good boys. Both of them. They are nice. Okay.

12:53 So you mentioned Ba. You mentioned Ba.

12:56 Which Ba? My grandmother.

12:59 No, no. My grandmother.

13:00 Oh yeah, yeah. She was. I don't know what to say. But Ba was very good. My papa. My father was. He was an autocrat. Autocrat. He was a good person. But autocrat. He was metric fail. I know Papa was metric fail. But excellent. He was very good. But he was autocrat.

13:31 He was very strict.

13:34 He will not listen to anybody. Not my mother, my Jitu kaka, Moish kaka. Nobody will say him anything. Whatever he wants to do, he want to do.

13:46 Did you have somebody else who you were really close to in your family who you felt love with?

13:53 My mother. Mother was very good. She was excellent. It was very good. Like Ron Hunter. She was very good. Nice teacher.

14:07 How old was your mom when she. How old were you when your mom died?

14:11 And my mom died was in 62. 62 years old. And I was in the final year of my visit here. Final year.

14:20 Okay.

14:20 And she died.

14:21 So you were in India.

14:23 No, I was in India. In Bombay.

14:25 In Bombay.

14:26 Bombay, final year. Matu.

14:27 In Kabul.

14:28 I was in final year. Yes. And Rohini aunty Rajiv and Sanjeev, both of them. She did excellent care. I did not do it. I know. I know I did not do it. But because of her, both of them are very bright. Very bright.

14:47 I think you had something to do with it. Dala.

14:50 No, but most of them she went to go to school and she wants to do everything. Raju Sanju. Did you do this? Did you do this? She was excellent. She was very good.

15:02 Does she remind you of your mom?

15:05 Yes, she remind me. But.

15:13 I know that it's 10 years of Bob Don now.

15:18 Your papa says my life is not same. I say, my goodness, it's so bad.

15:27 How could it be? Right?

15:28 Yeah. But my papa says, I remember. I remember. I said, okay. I remember her every day. I know every day. I said, look like this to Proto.

15:42 Can I ask you some questions about her?

15:44 Yeah.

15:45 Okay. So what did you think when you first met Ba?

15:50 Okay, I want to tell you in about 60, 69, not 68. I went. I got a green card here and I got a green card. I want to get married. I don't want to go to Ramadan. I want Indian.

16:08 Indian girl.

16:09 I went to India and I told everybody I am going to go marry. 15 days. 15 days. Okay. And I went three or four girls.

16:22 Wow.

16:24 Three girls said, what is your salary? What is your. What did you do there? What did you do there? And Rohini aunty, she did not ask me A single question.

16:37 Wow.

16:38 She was excellent.

16:41 What did she say instead?

16:43 She said. She said, you are very good. You are excellent. And study wise, you are very good. She did not say, what is my salary? What did I do? What did I. But she is excellent. She is very good that way. I told her, I want to marry you. Can you marry me? Then she said, I will see. I will tell you in one week. She did not say yes. She did not say yes.

17:10 She was going to make you wait for it.

17:12 Wait for me. Then I say, okay, I will wait for you one more week. Then we went to one more week. She asked, did you decide? Yes. What? I want to marry you.

17:25 Wow.

17:26 That was excellent.

17:28 How did you feel when she said that?

17:30 I said I was very happy. I was very happy.

17:33 Wow.

17:34 That way I went to marry me.

17:36 It sounds like she was interested in you for everything. You were.

17:40 That's right. Not for my salary.

17:42 Exactly.

17:43 Salary was okay. Because she came from a very poor family. And she had a brother, sister, father, mother. Everybody was in India and they did not do good. Her father is not. She was working in a college and she was very happy to call them everybody in America. She asked me, can I do that? I said yes, yes, you can do that.

18:15 Wow.

18:15 But she applied. She applied for everybody.

18:20 Wow.

18:21 Everybody for the green card. And for green card we had to get a person who knows her father and mother. It's very difficult. You cannot find it. So we had to get Mr. Patel. Who is that Indian guy Patel? We talked to her. So we don't know her mother, father, nobody knows. So we had to tell him. We had to tell him before everything. Her brother, how is she? And then he was a nice person in an interview. So she got a pass. She got everybody within one week we got everybody green card.

19:11 So did you pretend that Mr. Patel was her dad? Is that what you're saying?

19:16 No. Mr. Patel was somewhere in the United States.

19:19 Oh, okay.

19:20 He was excellent person.

19:22 Okay.

19:23 So he realized that she want to get a call everybody. So she says, I don't know your father but you tell me what is he?

19:35 Okay.

19:36 So Rohini aunty, she told me, she told this is my brother, this is my sister, this is my father. This is my father. They don't have Manani. So everything she told him Patel was excellent person.

19:48 So he helped you get excellent.

19:51 And he got Rohini aunties. He got apply for everybody within one week they all got a green card.

19:59 One week.

20:00 One week.

20:00 It takes people like forever to get a green card.

20:03 Right now 15 years away now just Mahinda, Mama Sani, Mama Deepak, Mama Bharti, Ma Poornima Aunty had a father and a mother. Everybody got a green card.

20:18 And they all came here.

20:19 They all came here. They are so happy. They are so happy in India they cannot do anything.

20:26 Did you feel close to her family?

20:30 Not close. But it's okay. No problem.

20:35 No problem. Did you ever miss your family when you were here? Like Mino Mashtaka was here.

20:44 But.

20:44 So did you miss anybody from home?

20:47 Did you miss? No, I didn't miss anyone. But the thing is when I came here, I wanted to. I went to beat btec. First class. First class. But see, my father said you work one year, then you go to America.

21:05 Then?

21:05 Then I say Manchester, England. I caught in Manchester or England.

21:16 So you got into Manchester too.

21:18 But I think is. I'm telling you. Then Bharadaji says, Mahesh Kaka is in America. I don't forget about Manchester.

21:27 So he was.

21:28 I had to believe him.

21:29 So he said that since Maishkaka was in the United States, you had to go to Maestaka.

21:33 You had to go to Maestaka.

21:35 Oh, you had to go to America because he was here?

21:38 No, England. England was better school. But papa says, mama, Maiskaka is your America. You go to America.

21:44 Wow.

21:44 I had to believe him.

21:46 So even at that point you had to go to America because he was there, not because you wanted to.

21:52 That's right. I want to go to Manchester. But Papa said. Papa was an autocrat. He said, no, you don't want to go. So Mai's Kakani. I came to America.

22:03 Was there a time when you were in America and away from your dad that you felt like less pressure from him?

22:10 That's better. It was better here. Babaji was in India. Who cares?

22:16 Who cares?

22:17 And I tell I'm so happy. That Vaishkaka, he told me for two years, every month he paid me 80 rupees. $80 every month. I wish my Kak was excellent teaching. He was nice person. Yeah, he was nice. He was excellent. I believe him for my whole life. I'm thankful to him.

22:47 I know. Dala.

22:48 He's nice. Kaka. When I got to be text. When I text.

23:05 So he helped you?

23:06 He helped me a lot.

23:08 Wow.

23:09 Because of him he was helping. Very good.

23:12 So he helped you when you first got here?

23:14 When I got here. I know. Then I got a job and I went to Lowell.

23:19 Lowell? Yep.

23:20 Yes.

23:21 What was your experience like at Lowell? How was going to Lowell?

23:24 Weaving. Weaving.

23:25 Weaving, Weaving. How was it different than being a student in India?

23:31 Student. There was nothing. No textile. That was the first time I got up something in India, but India. In Ahmedabad, there was 100 mils.

23:46 Wow.

23:46 So my papa says it's better you go to textile.

23:50 Yep. Because there. That was.

23:51 What was there a lot of textile. Meal.

23:54 So. But you know you were a student, right? At Lowell. You studied there, did textiles.

23:59 Yes.

24:01 Okay.

24:02 Bombay.

24:02 Bombay.

24:03 Yes.

24:03 So how was your experience in Bombay different than your experience at Lowell?

24:09 At Lowell. In Lowell, I was masters.

24:12 Yeah.

24:13 In Bombay, I was BTECs, first class.

24:15 I know.

24:16 I was very good, but my father was. So I cannot do anything.

24:22 So it was really nice to get away from that and come to America.

24:26 Yes. Excellent. And when I came here, my father. I mean, he was autographed, but in India it's okay. But when I came here, I said, my goodness, I'm in America. I don't feel what my father said. Whatever I want to do, I will do.

24:45 That's great.

24:46 That's very good. Excellent. Because I came here, if I was in India, I was like a chitu kakao dabao.

24:55 So you saw what happened with chitu kaka. And also you saw mahesh kaka in the United States.

25:01 Yes.

25:01 So you decided to come here. And it was, you know, to get away from that.

25:05 Get away from that. But no matter. He was a very good person, but he was autocratic.

25:12 Do you ever wish that you had gone to Manchester?

25:15 I want to. Because there was no choice.

25:19 Yeah.

25:20 No choice because he had to go to America.

25:22 Yeah, I know.

25:25 I mean, I was so autocratic. But he was a good person, nice person.

25:31 Well, let me ask you about your time in the US A little bit. So, okay. Who was your first friend when you got to the United States? Do you remember?

25:42 There was a Kaparsi friend where I was studying in Lowell. Manal. Yeah. Marie Sawyer was. Marie Sawyer.

25:54 Okay.

25:55 So there were four, five students. We have all five students upstairs. And Marie Sawyer was downstairs. I was living there. Okay. Those five students were. They are very good friends.

26:05 They were good friends of yours. Were they American or.

26:09 No, no, they are Indian.

26:10 They were Indian.

26:11 All Indian.

26:12 Wow.

26:13 All Indian. I know. So they were very good friends.

26:18 Did you ever cook Indian food with them?

26:21 Indian food? I was. I'm telling you, when I was a student in Lowell, I cooked everything I could. Bakri, roti, shark, everything. No meat. Okay.

26:36 No, no meat. No meat.

26:37 So everything. I cooked everything. But everything I. I cooked for everybody else, too sometime.

26:45 Wow. Dala.

26:46 I Was very good cook. But I got married with Rohini I forgot him.

26:53 You just let it go.

26:54 Forgot it. I want to do it now. But I cannot do it.

26:57 I know.

26:58 So that was a problem.

27:00 You also like to take pictures, right?

27:03 Pictures? Yes.

27:03 You like to take pictures on the camera.

27:06 Okay. But it's okay. Not very great. But I would take a picture. You came here in New York. It's a nice picture. I have so many pictures I want to show you.

27:21 I know.

27:22 Rajiv, Sanjeev, Nabad. I feel cry now. I feel cry now.

27:29 It's okay, Dada. It's a lot of memories.

27:32 I want to show you those pictures. There are so many powerful with slides.

27:38 I want to see them.

27:39 You want to see? When I come here. When you come in my home. I will show you everything.

27:45 So you're pretty creative, Dada.

27:48 Creative or no Creative. Whatever you say is okay.

27:52 Good. Take my word for it.

27:54 Okay. Thank you.

27:56 So let's see. And I just wanted to know. So when did you start walking every day? Because I know you've done that for many years.

28:05 Because walking every day from when I say that I got a. About 10 years ago, I got four heart. They were all blocked.

28:24 Yep. I remember that.

28:25 You remember that?

28:26 Yeah. The bypass.

28:27 Bypass. And Rajiv said, papa, you have to go to the doctor. See the doctor. Doctor say you have to be operated. Rajiv said, you have to be operated. Sanju was okay. But Raju was excellent. He said, papa, you have to go to operation. I was okay. But the thing is. I got operated. I got operated 10 years ago. My heart. Four block. Four out of four. They were all blocked.

28:59 I remember seeing you in the hospital. Were you scared?

29:05 Dada, I was not scared. Because Raju told me you have to do it. I got to do it.

29:10 Because he helped you.

29:11 He helped me. He helped me. Raju was an excellent. Sanju Kaka was a doctor. But he did not tell me anything. Don't tell Sanju.

29:21 I won't. I won't.

29:23 He's a doctor too. He's a nice, excellent. Raju was very bright. Very bright. He told me, you have to be operated. Okay, no problem. Mummy was leaving that time.

29:35 I remember. Did she stay with you in the hospital?

29:38 No, she did not stay in hospital. Because nobody was allowed to stay.

29:42 That's true.

29:43 That's true. So she went to. She went, came home. Next morning she came back.

29:53 So after the surgery, that's when you started walking.

29:56 Yes.

29:56 Okay.

29:57 Every day I walk. But right now I miss one day. I miss one day.

30:03 But that's okay.

30:05 Regularly I walk every day. Every day. Every day.

30:09 Did you walk when Sanjugaka and dad were young?

30:13 No.

30:14 No. Not as much.

30:15 No, not at all. They were so as a Sanjuka. I remember them in India. They were so little. And I'm telling you. Mommy said she wanted to do business with my. With Mahinda mama. So she told me how about we leave our children to India. And I said because of Mahendra Mama. I say okay, do it. Then we went to India and we talked about children. We stayed there for one year. Both of them in India. I was so mad. After one year I told Rohini nothing has happened in my bhama. He did not start a business. Now if you want to go to India, I will let you go and take my children back. If you don't want to go, I will go. Then she said she will okay. She will go that way for one year. I was so happy. So unhappy. Look at that picture. Every day I was looking at picture. It was so bad. So bad. Then Rohini auntie she went to India and he came back and can you believe Sanjuka? Babi. Babi. My Babi. She said Sanju Gaga says she is my mother. Not your mother. A mother. Who is this fellow? Who is this Rohini aunty? She is not my mother. My mother is there. Rajiv said you forgot about that mother. She is your real mother.

32:02 That's so hard.

32:03 It was so hard. It was so hard. I was so unhappy. So unhappy. I did for Mahinda mama. He did not do anything. He did not do anything. I said forget about. It is so bad.

32:24 You looked at their pictures every day.

32:27 Every day.

32:42 Was. Do you remember? Was Rohini Was Royal Aunty upset When Sanjugaka couldn't remember her? Do you think she was upset? Sanjugaka don't remember or somebody didn't either dad or Sanjugaka said didn't know that this was his real mom.

33:02 Rajukaka know that she is not your real mama. Your real mama is this one. Dad, forget about that mama. Then Sanju Kaka realized that Rohini aunty is my real mother. Because he was so young.

33:17 I know.

33:18 Yes. Okay.

33:19 I'm sure that was upsetting for Ba.

33:21 That was upsetting Baba. I know. But she understood for one year. It's okay.

33:28 Of course.

33:28 Yes.

33:29 Wow.

33:30 And Babi in India she took care of both of them. Very good care. That's why she was born Sandhya Kapoor. She was my mother.

33:41 Were you grateful for your family who took care of them?

33:44 That's right. I grateful. I'm very grateful. I know what I can do. I cannot do anything. Mind of mama's business. I went to do it.

33:54 I know.

33:56 If I were you again. I will never do that. That one year was very bad for me. Very bad.

34:04 I'm sure, Dada.

34:06 I know.

34:07 It's terrible. It's so hard to be away from your kids at that age.

34:10 I know. At that age. That was a wonderful age. They were very nice children. I missed that. I miss that. I miss that.

34:21 I know, Dada.

34:23 I know. I know.

34:26 Do you remember when they were born? When dad and Sanjugaka were born.

34:33 In Loyal mother. Loyal mother.

34:38 I think dad was born in York.

34:40 Oh, in New York. Yeah. Both of them.

34:42 Yeah. Do you remember that?

34:44 I remember that every time. Every time. I remember. Were you happy when Chandu Kaka was born? He said, this is your boy. He had a wall, no hair. So he said, okay. It was nice.

35:00 And now he's bald too.

35:02 He's bald too. But Sanju kaka is not like Rajiv. Both of them. I know.

35:19 So do you remember spending time after two?

35:26 Sanju Kaka was born. I told doctor, after five or six months. Doctor, is there any way I can get abortion? Doctor said forget about it. Abortion? No abortion. You got a third child.

35:40 Wow.

35:42 Doctor said no. Then you don't know that.

35:48 I didn't know that.

35:49 Yeah, we got a third child.

35:51 You did?

35:52 No, no. I was going to get six months. But see, I went to New York Mag. They were taking abortion.

36:03 Oh wow.

36:03 He did abortion. That was a very bad thing I did.

36:09 Oh, Dada.

36:12 It was very bad. But that was. Two was more than enough.

36:19 I know, I understand.

36:20 Third child. I thought I would be very happy. I was not that very good. My salary was very down. So I said, okay, we got abortion. Aunty said yes, she knew. And my salary is not that much. So that was the third child gone. I don't know what was that. Girl or boy.

36:53 Wow.

36:53 So you didn't know that, right?

36:55 I didn't know that.

36:57 I told Rajiv.

36:58 You did?

36:59 Yeah. You told him.

37:01 That must have been so hard for both of you.

37:03 For both of us. He is very good. Rohini aunty was a. She was very good. She was excellent. You tell this to Julia also. Third child. She didn't know that I know. Okay, tell her. Tell her. Okay, you can tell her.

37:31 Okay, good to know. Thanks for telling me, Dara.

37:37 That's so nice.

37:40 Okay, so let me ask you some last questions. Okay?

37:44 Okay.

37:45 So what do you feel most Grateful for in your life.

37:52 Grateful in my life. Mommy. Mommy was my excellent. Papa said my life is never be the same. I say my life also is not same. Because she was. I say every morning. I don't act like this. Every morning.

38:19 Every morning.

38:20 You remember? I remember her every time. 10 years ago. I remember. I remember. I remember. I miss her very much. Very much. But now I can do it. I can do it.

38:38 I know. That's an amazing. Amazing person. Right?

38:43 Amazing person.

38:44 Amazing marriage.

38:46 Amazing marriage. Amazing person. Everything works. And father. God. Why did you do this to me?

38:55 I know, dad.

38:56 Why did you do this to me? But it was not in my hand.

39:03 So many things are out of our control.

39:05 Out of control.

39:09 Okay. So what are you the proudest of in your life?

39:14 What?

39:14 What are you the proudest of in your life?

39:17 Proudest. I was living with a Rohini aunty. And that was my very good life. Excellent life. I was not that good. But the thing is. Whatever he said. I will do that. I will do that. She is excellent. That was my very good. Now nobody is there to tell me do this or do that.

39:42 So she helped you?

39:43 She helped me very much. And she, her father and mother did not have much money. She was excellent. But she called everybody. Now all those people, they remember her. I don't know.

39:59 So you were proud of her?

40:01 I was very much proud. Very much proud. Now she's no more. She was excellent. And now we have brother. Her father, mother. They are not there. But her brother or Bharti, Maati. They all remember. They all say because of her they are here. Otherwise they were back India. Not doing nothing.

40:26 So you are proud that you were both able to bring them here.

40:31 I was very good. There are some boys. They don't want it. He doesn't want it. I say let them come here. They will do it. They are excellent. Everybody now they remember it. I don't know. I don't know. Yes. Okay.

40:51 So Dala. What trait do you most admire in yourself?

40:56 Pardon me?

40:57 What do you like about yourself?

40:59 Myself? Right now, after mummy died. I have nothing else. Nothing. I just walk. And if I want to walk. If I want to remember her, I go out to walk. I try to forget. But I cannot forget it.

41:15 But Dada, is there something about you that you like about yourself? The way that you are?

41:22 I don't know. That is very hard question. What do I like? I don't know. I don't know. I like to play breeze.

41:31 Yes.

41:33 Bridge. I tell you. In Bombay. When I went to Bombay, Manikant you don't know Manikant, right? Deven Rankal Manikant Mahesh Pin. He was in Bombay too. So he told me one day. First of all, let's go. We go in a bus. We go in a bus. All the way to bus and Pachavi Tashiri. I'm going to teach you bridge. That was the first lesson. That way I won the bridge. And I like to bridge excellently. Right now I'm playing bridge also. It's excellent game. That's where I like it. That's where I like it. Bridge.

42:15 Nala, can I tell you that how would you like to be remembered?

42:21 I would like to be remembered. I don't know. I don't know. Raju. Raju said he remember. He remembered me. Okay. Raju. Sanju don't say. I mean both of them are different. Both of them are different. Raju and Sanju, both of them. They love me. But Raju, tell me everything. Do this and do that. Sanju, don't tell me because I tell you something. When Sanju got in Harvard, he went to. He went to. He got Shiv Kevayana. He came four years. He studied in Harvard. Then after studying four years he came to home. He got a graduate. He came home. When we Mummy was leaving that time Rajiv, Mummy, Sanju and me. We were eating something. So everyday evening. And before I started eating, Sanju kaka told mummy, Mummy, you know that I am gay. I didn't know what gay means. I said what are you talking about? What gay? What about gay? He says, I am not telling you, Mary. I am gay. Then I say, forget about gay. I don't want to know. Then I said two days. I was thinking. What? He must have been gay for a long time. And he is telling us now. He must be very bad for herself. Then I said, after two days we went to the college. I mean school. Jamba Gaila. There I told him, mummy, Mummy, this fellow is excellent. He is gay. How long have you been gay? I said, now I know what it is gay means. And I said, I take you, Sanju You are my son. No matter gay or no matter, you are my son. That was excellent.

44:40 Dada, we have 20 seconds. Okay. So I'm going to tell you something. You make me smile. And you make me laugh. And you make me really happy. And I always feel that you have loved me so much.

44:56 I know.

44:57 And you make all the difference in my life. You've been a really good.