Veronica Salcedo and Alexandra Thomas

00:04 My name is Alex Thomas. I'm 34 years old today is Saturday, March 7th 2020. I'm here at storycorps Atlanta with Veronica, my friend.

00:17 My name is Veronica Salcedo. I am 40 years old. Today's date is March 7th 2020. I'm located at storycorps Atlanta and I am being interviewed by Alex Thomas my friend.

00:32 So it's really awesome that you're here in Atlanta, but you're not originally from Atlanta. You're from Virginia Beach. Right? Right, right. So, can you tell me a little bit about growing up in Virginia Beach in Virginia Beach?

00:52 I grew up in the in the suburb of Virginia Beach. I wasn't right by the beach, but my memories Virginia Beach with my family are going to Lesner bridge to go crabbing and fishing so as a as my Filipino family continued to expand in my aunties and uncles and my lolo my dad's father became part of our family in Virginia Beach we would go and go to the beach the crab and fish with a cast net in the crab pots. And so home is also a place where I could go to a couple of different Filipino eateries. So it always felt like can always get my necessities and wellness small town so which is pretty laid-back conservative and it's it's probably a military town to Norfolk and so, you know,

01:53 For me, it's like folklore. It's like there's a bunch of Filipinos in Virginia Beach. Can you tell me about that expand a little bit more about the Filipino American Community? You said that there is a military base there and so is that related to the population? Yeah. Yeah, so it's

02:13 Pretty common for folk say yeah. My dad's in the Navy my mom's a nurse a lot of the post 65 immigration population was drawn to Norfolk and Virginia Beach cuz of the Naval Base there. So no doubt that has shaped the composition of that City. And with that also comes folks who want to organize and so there are a variety of regional Filipino Philippine Regional associations. So there's you know, pageants and fundraising and dinner dances and

02:53 Healthy competition. We do have a Philippine Cultural Center to have an actual established building that was fund-raised and organized send. You know, something is Grassroots. This is pretty pretty epic to be able to say. Yeah that I've seen that grow and good number of cultural dance troupes.

03:22 I mean there's a lot of outlets to express and explore and learn about being Filipino as well as being Filipino American with the chapter of the Philippine American National Historical Society of Hampton Roads. So everything from Young professional organizations to you know, Phillip fil-am basketball leagues, you know, like there there's something for everyone mostly

03:49 Kind of like circling back to

03:53 What I feels yet to grow and has potential growth would be like a place for a queer Filipinos queer trans gender non-conforming Filipinos to to be visible and embraced.

04:08 When you were growing up in the community, did you realize that there were a lot of Filipinos around or did you?

04:17 Think that other places were like that.

04:21 Pan

04:24 Growing up

04:29 Cashie I don't think I recognize nothing. I realize just how unique.

04:41 I think of the first time where I actually stepped out of the bubble.

04:45 On the road trips that my dad would do no take us on and you know as a family we go and see like Shenandoah mountains or the Shenandoah region and

04:58 May I guess I was still learning that you know, there are parts of the state that I that are different from my part of the state.

05:08 Janice ain't like I don't think it's sunk in though that what I had was a really cool filipino-american bubble. Yeah. Oh, here we go. So going to college I'm Filipino, right because I don't like

05:26 Yeah going to college going away and going to like Williamsburg civilizing that they're finding others for lambs and like finding like fossa the philippine-american soon Association then hang on just trying to find folks who can remind you of home and have shared experiences thing. That's and where did you go to college William and Mary in Williamsburg. And what did you study their history and on the path to becoming a secondary level educator another words. I want to be a high-school teacher. You know, I want I knew from the get-go that I was that was my path. What made you want to be a teacher?

06:07 So I can remember how my mom or dad found this event, but the Fonz chapter of Hampton Roads had a screening of premier of filipino-americans remember password them for themselves. I think that's the title of the documentary and so we we go to the school auditorium and we're watching this documentary and you know, I see Uncle Fred Cordova and I can hear different people sharing their stories and I'm like what Filipino Americans were the history books and I was just

06:44 That and is that event. Also with the fact that I knew my mom's father my Lolo the things survived the Bataan Death March. So what does curiosity for like knowing my family's past and then like realizing my family's history is tied to like the bigger Narrative of American history and also knowing that it's hard to get that history. It's hard to be able to communicate with older no relatives are in Philippines and then seen that documentary was like what I did learn this in school. So there's just a lot of

07:23 Those I would say those two realizations at that event that don't know him of my family's history light really motivated be like, all right teacher. I know that make a difference to include.

07:36 Streets that are Beyond like the typical white narrative filipino-americans especially have like a very complex relationship with history just because of

07:56 We have this knowledge of like the personal stories and and narratives from our families. And then we also are in school and we hear like this like you said these like traditional white narratives of American history, and we know that it's actually just not that cut and dry and so, you know, that's a somebody who also became a high-school teacher specifically High School social studies teacher. I know that that's a that's definitely a part of it is like where where am I in school in terms of like in the history books and like where am I in terms of the the story The Narrative of America? So I I totally understand sort of that that complex relationship.

08:50 So did you actually end up becoming a teacher where you a history teacher or something else? Yeah, I was able to fulfill that dream and Gotye.

09:05 Got a job, Virginia Beach. This can't go too far from home. So yeah, I got the teacher in the public school system in which I was raised, you know, same community in general like living there and worry. Did you have a lot of Filipino in Philippine American students?

09:31 No.

09:33 Not through my class not through like people not to mother my roster my daily roster students, but I would see the handful of fil-am students or folks I think could be put away up and I and I figured they could recognize me too. I think we saw each other and always I think it was my second year that I got to become friends with another pin. I educator antolin cycling on and she came up to me like hey, we should start a student Club my hell. Yeah Count Me In let's go. Let's become co-sponsors. And so with that in the additional faculty down the road the Philippine American Cultural Association lovingly called flakka became a thing like that was

10:25 Student clubs at

10:27 We realize students who wanted and like whenever we had like after school activities boom like that. Swear. I saw all of them all of these students come out and I'm like, well, we have a sizeable population here at the Bayside High School by that sounds like it's such a like a TV School named Bayside High School. What?

10:55 Which one of your most memorable teaching moments?

11:00 Wow, look a question.

11:04 Arable teaching moments

11:22 I was the coast sponsor in addition to Fargo co-sponsoring the gay-straight alliance.

11:29 And

11:31 Can't remember exactly how it came about but the two clubs had a

11:38 Collaborative meeting event like

11:44 In my classroom. It's so your worlds are colliding.

11:52 Yeah, and the GSA.

12:00 Don't have

12:02 I don't recall Filipino students being a part of the GSA.

12:09 An infarct are there were maybe on occasion a couple of white or black students who attend as folks who are Cheerios or friends of Filipino students some but to see both clubs come together and and I can't even remember what the the topic was. I can't remember what the is. There was an event or an occasion. I just remember having both clubs there in like wow, this is pretty epic for folks to have you know that

12:41 Intentional meaning

12:46 And then also, I think the GSI one point as Wells Fargo, they both hit certain milestones in terms of help their longevity and having like

12:58 Alumni, come back.

13:00 And talk to the younger folks and like me. I'm back in the day when I was in your seat. I have those folks come back that meant so much.

13:10 Do you I mean, this is like a really special thing for students to have that that space to to share those experience with experiences with folks. Is that something that you were able to experience when you were in high school or is this? No not at all?

13:40 I think I'm just going back to that initial meeting of Hawk on GSA.

13:47 Camera far ahead at that point become the Asian American Association

13:52 But I do remember it was May for apia heritage month and vodka had a yearly showcase where they got to incorporate poetry stories some work that we had borrowed from Ray Obispo students at Salem High School home.

14:18 Facts and

14:22 Some pieces they put themselves and their I can't remember what year was but both the GSA students and Flocka collaborated and there were some pieces that the GSA students wrote and jerks age.

14:37 That was not in the classroom. So when you asked me that question was her mobile teaching moments. My mind was kind of stuck because of thinking what would happen in the classroom and it's not remember what you said or what you talked about how you made them? Feel like me a lot of people feel I still feel this one on this is aspects of myself that I recognized as a young person. Like I knew there was fax at Salem High School and then join I figured I'm pretty busy with the baby in your book.

15:16 So

15:19 Neither opportunities from your high school to kind of see myself my racial ethnic identity and 1/2.

15:28 10 gauge with that since obviously it wasn't in that the history books were saved, but

15:35 I guess I just wasn't quite

15:41 Quit peace with all the parts of me and Emily quite recognize. I don't recognize my

15:50 My same-sex attraction that wasn't something that I gave much he to in high school.

15:57 We definitely don't have a gay-straight Alliance and when I was in high school, I guess the unofficial group that might have been an outlet would have probably been like the drama club or something to that said to that effect, but

16:11 Yeah, I just kind of stuff holds anything that might have been anything about who I was attracted to so.

16:22 You know how the opportunity to be a part of facts. I didn't participate and what does that stand for again Filipino American cultural Society of Salem High School

16:38 You know, I think that's definitely went to high school and and even college or like the formative years where you're starting to recognize these parts of yourself at least for me. And that was when I started to recognize different parts of myself and parts in my intersectional identities.

16:58 But you know I eat as an educator.

17:04 And I would say even a scholar now which we can talk about later, but

17:10 How do these intersecting identities word of?

17:15 Coming to play for you.

17:20 How do they come into play for Mets?

17:26 Welder

17:28 Being a queer 2nd generation Pinay born and raised in the South that was

17:35 And invite my my little history in my my motivation to like no stuff in the context of you know this.

17:44 Of US history

17:47 Like after a while I was

17:52 I still enjoy teaching High School. I knew that there was like a deeper question running at that point. I'd like to come to peace and come to terms with the all parts of my identity and I'm like, all right. Well, you've always wondered about you know, this Me Tie myself I go to Vons conferences and I'm like, is there any are there books on like we're Filipinos lesbian Philip in eyes are there is a workshop and his anybody's talking about this and then when archiving McStuffin and uniforms conferences are are great and also a place for folks to kind of nudge and say well why not go find this or no be apart of finding and documenting so

18:37 But I decided I was ready to leave my teaching position and like going to grad school. So I got him. Where do I where do I go for a grad program in history sociology?

18:50 Asian American studies. I was like having recognized those intersection the intersection of my identities.

19:01 Was and I'm being at peace with that and realizing that I'm still hungry for my my history.

19:10 Really push me to be like right now. It's time to go. Let's go find it. Let's go. Let's interview people. Let's document this and I'm settled in pursuing a master's in now PhD in sociology with a queer kanai's lesbian by kryptonite. That's my focus. So

19:28 Yeah.

19:30 And as part of your your focus and no I know that you've done research and you've collaborated or or definitely spoken to other researchers about it. Like what have you learned about queer lesbian by Panda eyes, that's a nice ring to it. That's what have you learned man.

20:01 We are.

20:04 Is it a hard question or small play sound bite? Give me a hashtag. Oh, man.

20:21 Well, I guess we'll let me go take a setback. What's one thing that you have like that has been like wow like I that's either so interesting to me, but I did not know that okay.

20:38 Something that's interesting of the women that I've interviewed.

20:48 Materialism don't majority of the lesbian by a queer kanai's. So I've interviewed.

20:55 I did mention like Catholicism being a part of their upbringing in some way shape or form and a few of them.

21:04 Look to their face as something that is empowering.

21:10 And that kind of caught me off-guard just because so much of it so much of what people have shared with me is about, you know, their understanding of Spanish colonization and the Catholic Church being a very dominant and two in their respective experiences like a very homophobic place to be and so for the few folks. I spoke with who Embrace Catholicism and Christian out Christian like kind of blew my mind that they're like, yeah, I

21:49 I'm a lesbian and in the in the church and I am a Christian and the gay community like rock on and so I thought that was something that kind of like surprise me with the questions. I really want to kind of like continue asking about you know, explicitly asked me about like religion Christian or non he know.

22:15 The thing that I was surprised about how

22:26 For some women they've had experiences with male partners and what some of those women have shared with me is like, you know.

22:36 They live realize that they've they've been fetishize or gratified by their white male partners and a different kind of interaction happens when white women come up to that while you're hot

22:51 4 Nation

22:54 And how does one react when you're being told you know, you're desirable but you're being other than in the same instant.

23:07 So that that interplay it wasn't like to to be found attractive by both white white men and white women and you're a brown person. You know, you're you are not white. How do you at? What point do you try to call him out on it? How do you push back and I'm learning from these women who are shared experiences that it's a complicated thing.

23:31 And they find ways to be resilient. I think that's another like really cool if they take away is that

23:39 I can look these women be like you.

23:43 We're Fighters.

23:46 Yeah.

23:51 When sort of going through this process of the Latino

23:58 Interviewing women and and talking to them about their experiences, especially in terms of their relationship to religion where you also raised in a Catholic household as well. Yeah. I remember going to CCD and for a while our entire family would go to the Navy base to go to catch mass and then after a while it became less of a regularity, just on the formal days that we would go to church.

24:35 Then eventually we we didn't go I think by the time I was well into my career at stop going to 2 N Eve service whatsoever.

24:51 Learning Catholicism and practicing it up to a certain point of my life.

24:57 Yeah, I mean that I feel invested in it anymore.

25:01 They join the club there lots of lots of lots of lapsed Catholics.

25:08 I think I'm

25:11 Shift gears a little bit

25:17 So you're doing a Graduate Studies at Georgia State? Yeah, and so now you're in a very different place in a lot of ways, but if you were to tell somebody like oh, Georgia, Virginia a lot of people be like, oh, yeah, you know, like that's not so far off, but I feel like for somebody who lived in Filipino American Community transitioning to a place like Georgia or Atlanta is is really different. What's that been like for you?

25:53 And it kind of thinking back to like

25:58 Living in Virginia Beach going up in Virginia Beach and then

26:03 Coming back to Virginia Beach to work as a young professional moving.

26:09 Moving to Atlanta was like yeah, that's big-time Fish Out of Water and it's not just my Filipino food. Like it's just hard to find a word for it the familiarity of knowing you're not the only Filipino. That was one thing I had to adjust to my own food. That's cool. But the share with folks will get it that's different to be able to go and Shop in a place where you can talk to the baker about and I want the next 10 of Punta UVA coming out and the baker would understand what you mean when you do find Punta UVA down south

27:01 But yeah, I think also the transition was difficult because you know, this was the start of

27:08 My wife and I having a long-distance relationship and

27:14 Shifting gears into being an academic so from moving from being like high school teacher who for the most part kind of knew most of what we were doing to becoming a student at age 35 and feeling like what the hell did I get into do? I know anyting what is this stuff while this is exciting. Wait a minute. I've never met this and being both hungry and scared that knowledge.

27:40 Hungry because I've never had this kind of challenging type of stuff to read and then you know that my teeth into but also was more ready to to learn and read that material. It's not like these were things I was interested in back in undergrad. Like I was Hardcore get my history degree learn how to get into the classroom and then enter the classroom you learn how to be a high school teacher and here I am trying to learn how to write academically how to keep my head up and believe that you have a cookout for the shit. I can do this and also be like on the phone on FaceTime you like, babe.

28:19 Can I

28:23 I feel like a fish out of water on her to support me from a distance.

28:32 Silver Lining was Finding other women of color queer people color kind of leaned on to talk to laugh with

28:43 And slowly finding

28:47 A network of lesbian Asian and Asian-American women and then lastly most recently finding the newest youngest.

29:00 One of the youngest chapters of funds to have fighting funds Georgia is like

29:07 All of these networks of people are like for me to Saving Grace help me like feel like I'll be home. Definitely. I mean, I think you know, I haven't gone through the process myself. I know how lonely it can be is so it was so terribly lonely for me to to be studying something that I was really interested in the passionate about but also missing something and you know, sometimes it's hard to put on put your finger on what that is, whether it can be like family and friends whatever but I can't imagine being away from my life partner, which I can imagine is a huge.

30:00 A huge part of the through this mountain that you're you're climbing over but

30:09 You know, I know that you have.

30:13 A lot of folks here, but let's talk about your partner a little bit. How did you meet her because she makes you smile and she makes you smile. And I know that that is you know right now if there's a lot going on something that like makes you happy.

30:38 All the opportunity to shine. So do you know actually grew up in the same hometown of Virginia Beach? We just never cross paths. Yeah, we went to different high schools are four years apart different circles.

30:55 So it wasn't until

30:59 Sociology graduate from Bayside High School graduate from Salem just different parts of town. And even though both our dads were in the Navy like food sitting there a couple of chances that we cross paths, but I don't think either of us were active in any of the Filipino associations or we weren't the type of women have a girls wanted to dress up for pageant. So that was an arch and either so it wasn't until I got my teaching position at Bayside High School wear my mentor and friend then he trombino and her partner were folks that I leaned on when I start to recognize my attraction to women and I was just like

31:41 Then who can I talk to is deep does anyone know a Filipino person Filipino home and I can talk to you. I just need to know I'm not alone and I mean

31:51 Yeah, please help back and over dinner with two other women that they know.

32:00 These name came up and they're like all will you know, they can talk to Veronica and

32:08 And because of that connection Dee and I were able to like meet up in person and talk and you know, my intent was just a talk to somebody just like feel like I wasn't alone and that talk ended up being

32:28 3 hours or more walk on the beach and we realized we had

32:35 Does mutual attraction for each other? We just didn't want to stop talking. We don't want to leave the beach even though

32:42 Is there a dark and I was going to know what this feeling was. I mean like right we walked on the beach. We had ice cream.

32:53 If you don't want to stop what is this feeling and it's like oh is this what all the songs are about because I've never I don't know. What is this a guy I need

33:06 If you would love something like that that that attraction is mutual. So yeah, I think the next day at school I was I literally ran into the door frame. I can't remember what I was doing. I just like in another world. I was like going through the motions teaching but that was such she made such an impression on me and you know, we are ready. We were talking in the next time. We're going to meet in the car going to hang out and

33:34 Yeah, that was that's how we met through basic high school how so

33:49 16th like I've lost track of time that's awesome. It's a big part of you is, you know, you're your partner and then that's exciting to

34:10 That you had somebody that that you connected with like that. That's

34:17 Lots of people look for very long time and like luckily you struck gold just like feeling and they like to talk to someone about it and thus the saying and then suddenly and I got to get back to my person.

34:39 We definitely recognize just how lucky we we are and that passes you how lucky I am. Like this is my my first relationship and it's the relationship, you know, who ya lucky. So, you know now that you guys are doing long distance for this for the duration of this program that you're in what are some of the ways that you guys have like been able to stay connected to each other we have

35:09 FaceTime dinners, so we say weekends for overs on the weekday. We'll figure out over chatting and you know, what ingredients we want for whatever does she want to make and so we give ourselves like the weekdays to like gather all the ingredients and then by like Saturday or Sunday depending on like schedules and appointments. We will start at like 10 a.m. Or something like that and start prepping the food together. So as she's cutting cauliflower, I'm cutting cauliflower as per ovens preheating my oven slower. So I preheat Lil bit earlier and eventually we cook the dish together and then by like lunchtime it's ready. And so we could move the iPad from the kitchen to the dining table and we're sitting there eating and be like, oh, you're so good. I was yours that look like eating dinner together as close as possible Right.

36:06 So yeah, that's one of the one of the things that we do to

36:10 Bring family dinners as close to reality as possible virtual family dinners.

36:17 Do you get to go home often?

36:24 I wish I could go. I wish we could be together more often, but I thought maybe they were from four to five weeks 6 weeks. We found up is bad note 4 weeks by weeks is a sort of a

36:39 A good amount of time to realize that for weeks. That's not often looks like once a month.

36:48 Like your menstrual cycle, is that often? I don't know where that I'm not I am looking forward to driving home or us meeting halfway to at like a South Carolina's like a Midway point and we've got to a place where you know, I can't I can't fight so we can go camping together, you know how to make a trip out of it. So

37:16 I think that it's just so interesting till I get, you know, maybe one day I'll like tell my grandkids like that. He would like Meetup in South Carolina to go camping and they be like one of all states. That sounds like you said, Georgia, Virginia, like literally that's yeah, so we actually became sort of regulars that I enjoy the outdoors. I know but you know for the win

37:45 More affordable. It's something to do together, like pitching a tent together and like bring the the kit to the wash station to like wash dishes together. Like there's a lot of stuff you do together because of camping. So and also your detach from Lake

38:04 Does Wi-Fi sucks out there? So you don't like on your phone watching TV? Where is it going to go home and then get sucked into something ain't right. Right. But yeah and those times when she's able to take leave in like to stay with me in Atlanta for sometime. Like I'll have fun. It's like being a being like really set a tour guide to like show her all the all the cool places that my friend that showed me or like restaurants or whatever place to scope out. So

38:29 Yeah, that's

38:31 That's about as how we make the most of the time we have together.

38:37 Okay. So one last question.

38:42 If you could go back.

38:44 In time and tell your

38:48 High School self anyting about the sort of Journey you've been on

38:54 High School Sulphur, okay, what would you tell yourself?

39:08 Doubting yourself is a waste of energy. So let it pass through you let it go at that that will like

39:16 Derail you from so many other amazing things are capable of doing.

39:22 In order to get over that stuff out to

39:26 Stay grounded find people to keep you grounded.

39:35 Get out of the house. I mean like you literally have to go and get some sunlight actually feel the sun. Breathe are those are some things I would tell myself is that yeah, you're going to

39:51 Are you going to go far?

39:53 And you go further and farther with with the people that I've got your back and you'll find those people all sorts of places. So don't stop looking and deathly keep go see a high.

40:09 I would like those are some things I tell my my high school. So yeah.

40:13 Yeah.

40:18 Veronica what's making you emotional right now if you don't mind sharing? Oh, yeah.

40:27 I guess reflecting on such a reflecting on like

40:34 Real Juve ask me some pretty awesome questions that have helped me see what I've overcome turning points in my life.

40:50 Jubilee happy there a lot of accomplishments that I haven't taken the time to like bring forth in my mind, especially in times when I feel like

40:59 When we are struggling or frustrated like I haven't had

41:05 I haven't had the opportunity or I would put energy towards to get back to like hey, you're more than your productivity and I could give you your more than

41:14 You're more than that and here's all the awesome stuff that you've lived through and I've done with cool people.

41:22 So yeah, I think that these are for those for happy tears. So yeah, yeah.

41:32 Anything else you want to say? Thank you Alex. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing with us and was me because I feel like this is it's it's I love talking to you. I mean, we have a lot of really great conversations regularly, which I'm really I feel privileged to have but like I think just having some of this captured this really special.