Wally Derleth and Erin Pyles Smith

00:03 I guess I'll go. My name is Wally derleth. My age is 64. I was born August 22nd. 1956. Today's date is December 20th 2020. I'm at my home 9804 deepwoods drive in Shreveport And my partner's name is Aaron Smith Bridge time. I'm meeting you Aaron. So as of now I get a stranger to you, but not really a stranger because we're meeting right now.

00:46 Yes, I'm Aaron Smith. I'm 34 years old today is December 20th of 2020. I am also here in Shreveport, Louisiana at my home. My partner's name is Wally derleth, and I guess we're sort of acquaintances now that we've seen each other through a screen face-to-face. So we're we're not one degree away from strangers now.

01:17 And I see the first kickoff question. Why why did I want to do this interview today? Well, I think I'm interesting story to tell Anand.

01:33 I would like to know more about different views, I guess so.

01:43 That's the best way I can answer that question. So the reason I wanted to do the interview was pretty similar. I

01:54 I recognize that everyone has different viewpoints and sometimes it's not always easy for me to understand where someone else is coming from with her viewpoint. So I wanted to sort of be able to grasp a little more background info to be able to understand where someone else is coming from. I know I have issues even communicating with my family sometimes about this issue because we have different viewpoints. So so I'm looking forward to this conversation with you.

02:29 I guess I haven't seen any other kickoff question and sponges going to I'm just going to start and end just say that you must both has a conservative and

02:47 I've been scared over the last several years of identifying myself as such just because of what I read in the news all the time about people that call themselves a liberal that either try and intimidate or bully people of not their own persuasion. And so that's why I don't really toot my horn much out in public and but I do listen try and listen to other points of view without

03:33 Without the need of of disparaging words

03:42 Send me to try to take the same approach on my into I feel like there are there are definitely bullies. I feel like I'm both sides and it's in for me. I feel like the area that we live in I feel like I'm surrounded by more people who are conservative and liberal. So I try to be careful about who I have those conversations with because I I never want to get into an argument or fight with anybody and I don't want it to ever escalate to the point where it's

04:23 You know detrimental to any anybody involved, I'd rather I mean, I don't mind having a spirited conversation, but I don't want it to get ugly and nasty totally understand and I see the next kickoff question here. I'm hoping I don't crash the system is I go to my word document and it's so I'm going to read your bio Aaron and it says hi Lorraine know that you're a thirty-four-year-old team lead female. And are you grew up in Mansfield died and down the road from me? Actually, that's that's only for of 40 miles away. Actually and you graduate from LSU West and you work in marketing public relations fun racing and 1/4 Japanese. I need to have two children in the 11 year old autistic stepdaughter in a 7 year old.

05:23 Compunctious boy a boy. I can relate with that. My husband is an Air Force veteran was unemployed due to cold. It was my 81 and 83 old grandparents live with us and you believe if black lives matter and support the lgbtq community my family and I have very different political views.

05:52 Well, um.

05:54 Okay. Yes.

05:58 My first question in in

06:03 Actually, I have several questions regarding that that bile but first of all, how much of a challenge is it with your with your autistic stepdaughter? I mean, it's got to be a struggle it is it's so different people refer to her form of autism differently. So in the old days, they would say that she has Asperger's or some might say that she is not as high on the Spectrum or whatever or not as intense, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still challenges with her. She is she has an insanely high IQ. She's very very smart but navigating social norms and things that are expected of her.

07:01 Is those are not strong suits for her. So there we have gone to therapy weekly for her for at least six years now and it yeah, it's it's really beneficial to her. She's done some group sessions with other kids who have similar issues on top of the autism. She also has ADHD. So until she was diagnosed with those things. I did not know that apparently those two things Austin go hand-in-hand. It's pretty common for kids. If you have autism to also have ADHD or any number of other

07:40 Mental issues like that. So yeah, that's a challenge and additionally she and my son are very very different. I often described her as the old house cat that wants to be around you when she wants to be around you in the rest of the time. Don't touch me around people all the time and play with everyone and I be friends with everyone is quite a difference between the two children boy my hat's off to you with some with the challenges you faced some racing your family. I just

08:30 I don't know if I can do that. So that that's all I can say about that.

08:36 I appreciate that. Yeah, it's it's never dull.

08:43 Okay, I think I'm supposed to read your bio now. So what I have for you was I was raised Catholic with my mother and my grandma my father and grandmother. I was holding my father's hands when he was dying. I was fourteen at the time my life changed at that moment. I had to become an adult on a dime. I had some dark days throughout my life after that became interested in politics when Reagan was President president. I've lived my life as conservative since I've been employed for the last 20-plus years with the local public radio station host of evening Jazz. I've heard many points of view regarding life.

09:21 So some interesting things in there. I am I sort of Catholic I became Catholic when I was in my previous marriage. I've been married twice and I actually work for Catholic Charities right now, and I my mother passed away when I was so I know a little bit about that. So would you mind sharing a little more about the issues you faced with your your father and and seeing that happened was you were so young and thank you for asking that it.

10:02 A few years ago, I would never be able to answer that question, but I've been able to deal with it more personally and abused my father is

10:20 For the lack of any other way of saying that I put my father on a pedestal. I thought he was like

10:32 Put it this way. I thought I thought there was no way that he would ever die number one and and

10:40 Until until the issues I had really started after my father died. My my my grandmother was total was so much older. She was like 85 or 86 when my father passed away and and in Sochi.

11:04 It was it was hard for her.

11:09 To even relate to what I was facing. She just assumed okay you you just had to take over leading family now.

11:23 Anand I had an older I had an older sister that was two years older than me, but she was like

11:33 I never was around much. She was dating and and doing doing other things with her high school friends and and she was hard look around and it does the pressure for me the pressure for me to show lights for lack of a better phrase taking over the family meeting the family. I just was not even ready. There was no way I was ready for the 10 and

12:10 And unfortunately what they say about dark day to send that bio and refurbished refers to escaping escaping and and so

12:31 Stats in Inwood. Stephen even more disappointing is I don't think I would have had to have done that if if some of the my high school teachers in and administration and other people that I normally

12:51 Looked up to for answers.

12:54 They never gave me any kind of answer or or or pointing me in any direction at all. And I guess that was more disappointing than anything. Is it okay that I was counting on totally failed me.

13:14 And it's so basically I tried to live my wife and no I did not take over the family and any kind of leadership capacity for a long time and then and then and then it was after my first was after I got married for the first time.

13:40 Salt Lake City, I grew up.

13:46 And it's been is it?

13:50 There's there's old song. I forget who wrote the song but there's a phrase in the song that says real long strange trip. It's been well, my whole life has been at right now. So so yeah it it's been a long strange trip, but I don't

14:15 I'm glad that I experienced the things that I've experienced because I can relate to either teenagers or young adults and let them know that at least I can try and be a voice in their life.

14:35 That's

14:39 A store has really powerful like it really.

14:43 I was

14:45 Try not to try not to cry. I'm sorry to ask of you as a kid. And so it's

15:02 And it sounds like once you got older and you were ready to assume a leadership role for the family that you were then able to but

15:11 I get that you needed to you needed to be a kid for a while cuz you were still a kid when all those things happened in the event. That's the other thing at the support. I got was from my close circle of friends more than more than the adults that I was looking looking for leadership from my closest Circle of Friends actually gave me more empathy than the than the adults that I expected what I guess looking back then that was the interesting part.

15:57 I think there's a lot to the the idea of as we get older that we choose our family and in the friends that we choose in the people we surround ourselves with and we often look for people that can sort of fill whatever void. We may be having in our lives in whatever way like, whatever kind of attention that we're needing or loved it when eating or whatever it's easier to do that for friendships a lot of times when it is for 3 year old family because in family you sort of have

16:29 Everyone thinks they have their scent rule. I know I experienced that with my grandparents living with us right now. They're always going to look at me as the kid no matter if I'm in my thirties and I'm taking care of them. I'm still the kid. So I can't expect unreasonable things from them have to look at it through that lens. So,

16:52 So Aaron, like I dominate the conversation so far. I guess my question is in which we just met for the first time today and and it feels like I feel like

17:20 I can I could talk to you even though I can I could really express some some deep things about myself to you. And and here you are. You're supposed to be quote-unquote across the aisle from me but yet but you could get it. It's like I don't see much difference in us at all.

17:44 I know and I think that's something that I quit social media people tend to forget when you're working through a screen and you're not sitting across. I mean, I know there's a screen between us right now, but even you not being able to see someone's face and their emotions is a lot different than just typing words on my screen and I feel like even though I work in marketing and do social media for a living. It's also one of those sort of

18:15 I also feel have this feeling that it's created a lot of turmoil for our society that was sort of an unintended consequence like that wasn't the reason we were creating Facebook and Instagram and those things but but it sort of has become that because people feel this sense of Bravery the spillover pool to be able to say things to people when they're not that they wouldn't say if they were, you know, looking at them across the table or even through a zoom like scream like we're doing now play honestly,

18:54 I don't really do.

18:58 Social media much because I'm unwilling to but just because

19:07 A lot of my friends

19:12 Have had bad experiences with with either Twitter or Facebook. I don't even know some of the other extensions out there. Like I've heard about Snapchat, but I don't really know about it, and I'm just wondering I guess my feet.

19:38 It wouldn't be such a bad thing if Facebook and Twitter weren't around.

19:49 Personally, I don't think that it would be a bad thing.

19:54 I feel like you know a lot of times I

19:58 I tell myself that the reason I need Facebook or Instagram is to be able to communicate with family and friends and while during covid-19 being, you know, quarantined or whatever and stuck in our homes for an extended. Of time. It was great to be able to simulate interact with those people at the same time. I feel like it's also given me and others an excuse to not physically see those people. So I am most likely to randomly show up at my parents house and go see them, you know, just knock on the door. And here I am let's have dinner or something because I I'm sending them pictures of my kids to Facebook. So they see my kids not ready that you know, they don't need us to but yeah, I mean, I really don't think it would be an awful thing. If social media went away despite the fact that that would take a large chunk of the income.

20:58 Penske in with my with my with my show that I do I do every night on public radio with Red River radio on I mean, that's the only time I use Facebook and just an update just to update what's going to happen on the show. Otherwise, I don't do Facebook and in the other thing I noticed in your bio that you're a graduate of LSUS. Well, I'm I also completed my degree about 6 years ago and I will see you as well. And we and unfortunately, what is the consequences of social media is weed. Now we are now living in an acronym Society.

21:51 Where would I end in? You know, I'm just wondering I'm just wondering.

22:01 If you if you actually made a mistake writing a paper when you were still taking courses at LSUS and you actually I made a mistake by using an acronym how how bad of a grades did you get from the special when you did that? I'm I never never did that because I'm a little bit of a grammar nerd. But if I had done that in Helen Taylor's class, I'm pretty sure that she would have smacked me upside the head.

22:38 And you know what? It deserves. I took from the tailor syllabus both both those courses her syllabus actually said in bold words, no acronyms.

23:06 So so yeah, and I did make the mistake of using I forget what contacts do I used it, but I did use an acronym that I did and I and I didn't pick it up in my proofreading and Hammer me, but you know what I deserve.

23:43 You want to take this one first?

23:46 Well, I'll ask it of you and then you can ask it of me has been the most influential person in your life. And what did they teach you?

24:01 I'd have to I can't just say one person.

24:07 There's been two.

24:10 And of course, it's my father as it's the first person.

24:19 In the in the second person is

24:24 One of my teachers

24:26 Back in high school and she was my speech teacher.

24:34 And

24:37 He helped me.

24:40 I don't think of myself as a good student.

24:46 She'd help me.

24:48 Prepare for college in a way that I don't think anyone else could have she gave me the the just the positive vibe that

25:01 You're good enough to be in college, even though I didn't think of myself as being a good student and it turns out well my first go-round in college. I ended up leaving College because I was my grades weren't good enough. They only they were horrible. I had a 1.9 grade point average when I left College the first time back in the back in the late 70s.

25:36 I graduate from LSU West as well with my

25:44 With my brain, I improve my grade point average to almost two points.

25:58 Well

26:00 I'm so proud of that because that's

26:05 You might have had my wife as as a professor at when you were at LSUS. Her name Stocker burden. She's about to end it. Do you ever have her 12th? I did not get any biology when she's been she's been like my Champion it was so I went through my getting this degree and she and she says that she is hardly ever seen that kind of grade point average Improvement.

26:49 So I'm very I'm very happy about that. So so the most influential people in my life, my father is such a great great man, and and the being a single parent trying to raise me in tastic job. I think it is and then my end of the the teacher the speech teacher and referring to a post caught me about what is and they both taught me that I was said I needed to have a more positive outlook about myself and my father didn't get a chance to do that, but the speech teacher did so I'm going to ask you

27:47 Who is been the most influential person in your life? What did they do?

27:56 So I would definitely say my mother and

28:01 Just a little side note at a very influential person probably know I wouldn't label her as most influential but one of the most it was actually my speech teacher and her husband when I was in high school. She actually helped me decide what major I should pursue when I went to college and her husband was a college professor at Louisiana College. That's where I started my freshman year and he put me on the debate team and

28:33 Helped me sort of phones some skills and speaking skills and what not and they both sort of believed in me and things that I didn't think that I could do. So I'm very appreciative for them. I had some really great teacher determine up but but my mother is definitely the most influential not only do I look exactly like her. There's we have people tell my sister now all the time that there is no denying whose children we are they will also tell my parents that they marked their children because I look like my mother and she looks like Andre and said the two of us look nothing alike cuz my dad is half Japanese into my sister looks more Japanese than I do and I take after my red-headed mother.

29:17 But my mom was she was definitely extrovert and I am as well and she was a people person. She loved people and I talked to him when we go to Walmart, and she talked to everybody everybody in town knew her they knew she was a kind person and would and I was always helpful and just stay at home. Mom. My dad still works at International Paper in Mansfield and did my chart I'm growing up.

29:49 And so she obviously works crazy hours and shifts and whatever it was. She was always there always every softball game cheerleading something basketball game doing homework with us or whatever. She was always there for everything really taught me. I think the value of one hard work into caring for people but one of the

30:24 Unintended constant like we talked about earlier unintended consequences of her passing G. She passed away when I was 23. It was I had a few months before graduation LSUS. I got married to my ex-husband and three days after I got married she died.

30:47 See

30:49 There were things about myself that I did not know until after she passed away. I would never have the amount of confidence that I have now or strength to be able to do all of the things that I'm doing right now if I had not live through the experience of watching her be sick for a long time and her illness and then ultimately her passing. There's just things I never would have

31:20 Ever Envision like you talked about putting your father sort of on a pedestal or thing. He's never going to die. I mean, I think every kid does that we we see our parents as bulletproof. I know I never ever ever expected that my mother would pass away after 45 like never would have thought that so

31:43 So yeah, it wasn't something that she intended to teach me but I definitely gained more insight into myself and and confidence and and even I think learned more.

32:02 Things that prepared me for being a mother and a stepmother then I would have ever imagined and then from that experience of her being L and passing.

32:14 Well

32:16 I don't even know either way. I can't I can't even think of any follow-up question on that. But this is really interesting that we've had.

32:32 Wikipedia it's almost like a part of our lives are parallel. It's it's amazing.

32:42 It really is a kind of wonder if like Renee and the other people at Red River radio and been like secretly watching us with, you know, some hidden cameras to that to know that do we compare these two up absolute similarities and things and we're completely different generations and backgrounds. So

33:08 I'm just I'm just going to I'm just going to throw this out there. I I don't even know if this is a kickoff question or not. But so

33:19 I am at one point at one point in my life early in my life. I considered myself.

33:28 A liberal that were broke, but I mean

33:34 Totally opposite from where I am now.

33:38 And

33:39 What is my wife when I would have?

33:47 2 too young to know better

33:50 My my father my father was her wasn't out there in a publisher and he was cheating him. We would like maybe 25 minutes away from the capital of Wisconsin Madison and and he had to put a Madison one day and on a weekend do a book signing into my sister and I were free to roam if you will and and she was old enough. I was well, maybe it's time I forget and she was 14 and so she was she was supposed to look after me. Well he ended up.

34:37 It was a political protest about the Vietnam War from starting 30 or coming back from the campus. And basically there's just one street that goes from Memphis to the Capitol in Embassy in this protest was was coming was I'm starting out and and they and they formed around the state capital and then there was the March March back to the campus We join that Marge my sister and I join that Marge going back camp.

35:28 It just so happened to that that particular day. That's when the science building got bombed and 3 people got killed.

35:39 My father knew that we joined the group that protests even though the key he was doing a book signing and going back going on the driving back home lyrics hit the news if that's what happened, but my father turned to us and them basically said, so how do you feel about doing the protest now?

36:08 And

36:11 What is on that day ever since and it shouldn't it changed me completely that that in? No way did I want to be a part of any kind of protest that was going to be turned out people and some people getting killed and that was the first

36:39 Do they say indications that I needed to look on what I really look upon myself as what I really believe and and it took me awhile. And like I said my bio that that I became conservative Len when Reagan became president and

37:05 There were other things there are other things prior to that also solidified some of my beliefs but really looking back on that March when I was so young. I was I don't think I was doing a knee-jerk reaction more than knowing what I was really marching about trouble. That's how I became. The I think that's how I turn. My phone keeps around into our I believe now.

37:46 To make sense meaning that also sounds like a really really scary to.

37:56 For me growing up. My my parents remember them vehemently always saying that they were independent.

38:07 We weren't going to pay money to some Republican or Democratic group, you know, they were going to think for themselves and research the candidates and whatever and I can remember them sitting at the dining room table when it was time to vote and them discussing who was on the ballot and that measures and whatever and figuring out who they were going to vote for and they would discuss it and they would like some agree.

38:36 When I got to I don't know at what point I specifically said I'm going to be

38:44 Going to be a liberal or I'm going to be a Democrat. I'm going to be this. I don't think there was a specific defining Moment Like You worse, but I do know that.

38:56 Growing up. I

39:03 I remember just observing people adults around me and

39:12 Wondering why they did the things that they did.

39:15 And then when I got to college

39:20 I George George W Bush was president and 9/11 happened when I was in high school.

39:29 And

39:32 I remember being

39:35 At Louisiana College and it's a Baptist, you know college and most people there are pretty religious or conservative. But the people that I sort of hung out with we're in the Communications Department at the theater department and that tended to be a little more of a liberal group then on top of that I was on the debate team. So being on the debate team, I got to the returns were I would have to argue for or against things that I didn't agree with so it taught me how to research things and I'm trying to come up with what somebody would say out with their own. That's how they all versus this time.

40:20 And I think it's some point I just it just it seemed obvious to me that.

40:29 Where the lines have been drawn at the time or now or whatever you want to say that it seemed like the the Democratic or more liberal side try to focus more on society as a whole and the group I guess and conservatives seem to be more mindful of the individual and

41:00 And those I've always been more of a help you want everybody to be included to those sort of ideals is because I want I want to make sure that everybody's taken care of. I'm sort of the fixer and whatever I guess in my family and the one who wants to make sure that everybody gets along and I think that's kind of why I gravitated for that. I don't I don't like I said, I don't think there was ever a specific moment like you had that was so, you know defining but I think that's just it just seemed like more of a fit for me.

41:37 And you know ice I am due in April conversation as I mentioned before. I mean, we were not that much different in and you and you know what frankly? Yeah, I think I can think there's some things that

41:57 And I'm just talkin about me. So I'm not going to I'm not going to include the the whole conservative platform, but I think I think

42:10 If we really have conversations like this.

42:16 We could probably take away some things that can draw us naturally closer anyway.

42:27 I don't even know if I said that right but I mean, I mean, I'm just looking at what you just said about gravitating towards, you know, we want we want to take care of everybody else that should be unnatural tendency for everybody that we want everybody to to have the best in life, right? Yeah.

43:01 I feel like sometimes that if it were people like you and me who were making decisions for our countries.

43:13 Sometimes politicians just that he has a lot of its 2 to gain popularity or raise money from organizations or whatever. Do you know to be able to keep their jobs and I get that they have to do that. But I feel like sometimes it's a sort of played in the masses and instead of

43:31 Having real conversation about what's happening with with people in their District or someone across the aisle and someone else is just here to know what sort of policies need to be created to help.

43:44 Everybody because it's hard for me to believe that we we are making so many choices that helped one side and not the other like there's so many things that you and I have talked about this conversation that we have in common. Like I'm sure there is a zillion other things we would have in common is just got to be common ground that's easier to come across when it comes to solutely.

44:10 So it's working prompted that we got to close things out your butt. So I'm going to I'm going to take I'm going to take it first. Is there anything you learned about me today?

44:25 Just just with that conversation that surprised you from just knowing me for my bio.

44:38 I think hearing of more about the struggles that you had after your father pass and sort of wrestling with some of the the the Demons of your younger days. I guess that that really was profound and an impacted me and not something that I would have expected from reading your bio. Like I would have expected you to say when you talk about being an ass like that you like hardcore Catholic Church all the time on the straight and narrow and you were great. America is more human, you know.

45:31 Situation in order of things happened to you afterwards then then the assumptions I made based on your bio.

45:41 So, is there anything that you learned about me today that surprise you?

45:51 Again, just basing things to some reading your bio.

45:57 Dad hats

45:59 Yeah. I was I'm going to be honest going into this. I was a little bit fearful that that

46:10 Not knowing if you were real storage hardcore liberal afraid that things could get ugly and ate it didn't and be and be at work.

46:29 Our Lives is specially dealing with death in our families

46:36 That is like

46:40 Set to me images of the self with surprising that.

46:46 The road the robot in our lives have been pretty similar.

46:57 I mean, I definitely think I had those fears to that that

47:02 I was I was nervous before we started that.

47:06 We would start talking about if we did start talking about something policy-related that we didn't that we just agreed on that it would possibly get nasty or ugly and it didn't and I'm really really glad for that for a lot of different reasons one. I don't want to fight with anybody going from the stranger to acquaintance to friend model Riley to go in the other direction. Absolutely and I can I can honestly I can honestly say that I would I would love I would love to talk with you more and meet your family. I think that would be cool in and of itself and

47:59 It's been a real real good 45-50 minutes. It really has been.

48:07 I totally agree.

48:13 Okay.