Andrea Huelse and Wolfgang Huelse

00:10 Hey, so I'm Andrea holsey. I'm 47 and in New York and its September 9th 2020.

00:18 And I'm here with my amazing dad Wolfgang.

00:24 How do you introduce yourself? My name is I was born in Germany in 1940.

00:34 The war was on the way I didn't ask to be born there, but nonetheless there was there. Okay, so I'm here because of my daughter Andreas invitation and that's about it for the beginning. How old are you? And what date is it? And where are you? I'm 79 years old.

00:58 December December 22nd if that matters

01:05 Today's date today's date. Today is September 10th, I guess but I'm not sure. Yeah, right the ninth and where are you currently the Valley, California in my living room?

01:26 Perfect. Thank you.

01:30 Yeah. I wanted you to talk about some of your experiences and I really wanted to talk but can you give us a little bit of background maybe on where you were born? And what was going on at the time and why you were in Hamburg? Okay. Yeah.

02:00 It was the war it was 1940. Like I said, my father was drafted into the army. He fell in love and of course had to go to war and it was very very much and love every minute counted. So here I am nine months later Hamburg was already on the target for some of the Allies football Ming. My father was injured transfer to a field Hospital in Bavaria. He was fighting in Russia at the time and he found us at 4 to go to I was I don't know six month old when I was put into the basket my aunt travel for two days going to Bavaria stopping here and there because trains would not come to continue and I was still living to worry about to be my host mother for four and a half years to be joined later with my mother.

03:00 But at first I was there alone with my so-called and Annie I called her from then on so she was like early mother there my father and was already back into the war. He was fighting a different fronts injured several times. My memory. So basically all the Valiant even though I'm a hamburger. I was returned to him work when I was four and a half years old. The war was winding towards the end.

03:33 I was still catching some of the attacks on the American the bombardment. We were originally from a small town called who's on the North my grandfather when a grocery store practically only one in town, but he was not a great friend of out of Hitler. So his store was practically starved to death people wouldn't go shopping there because the essay was standing in front of it and sending people away. So he lost his life his store and took his five children and move to Hamburg at the time.

04:15 To start a new life. He opened up another grocery store and have work which was them bummed out of existence. So he lost his livelihood once all over again with children given to other families to stay alive and be said and be helpful in those families without pay but with quarter. So those were my aunts and uncles my only Uncle I have West Central Russia is it? What is it 15 year old he was injured and sent back by a Russian doctor saving his life. And this was my only memories so that the area of course was a different story.

04:58 The variables really what country has need to expose. This was an image that I have to tell you about. I heard about any allies I heard about you he attacks and I was four years old at the time. I was drawing pictures continuously, but all the pictures picture planes and bombs falling and people running in the countryside. So I heard about War I didn't really experienced too much of it being in that small delish, but it was all around.

05:35 Later, we got the message that American troops were approaching. This is Bavaria a small town in front of the Alps and everybody got really nervous people started running Hunter said rifles they were hiding them in the yard because nobody was supposed to have I gotten any more so then we heard noises and their noises are obviously Changsha rattling through the landscape everybody ran for cover into a basement where we hid out and then boys got bigger and bigger and bigger. We were living at a blacksmith quarter. There was an ox's standing off to the right who was by what I said.

06:19 My host was taking care of the old man. And then the noise was so large was deafening and then it fell silent will be asleep right in front of the store where I don't stop front of the house and we were scared eventually the quiet that the Curiosity took over and we marched out. I was the holding holding my mother's hand right in front of that store or house was a tank that was bigger than the house and all of us together and it was a scary scary thing, but I could see the star it was an American thing that was clear to me. It's so completely silent Bistro there then

07:03 Where the driver is supposed to sit right in front underneath the Tower of the tank eyelid open up and out came a face and I remember only wiped in my life. I have never seen so many white cheese in the face in my whole life because the rest of the face was black it was so I assumed

07:26 Americans are black people with white teeth. That was my first impression, you know, so I was scared. He looked at me bend over and gave me some at Hershey bar.

07:37 Or something over the iron rations from the Americans which confused me completely because the same people have been shooting stuff all around us. I've seen play playing nearby airport has A Child in the fields playing taking off.

07:55 Taking to the sky getting involved in a dogfight. I saw them circulate almost like a ballet. I remember it was sort of fantastic to look at then. You heard the rattle of the guns in the air Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck. I remember it. Well, I was hiding in it under a haystack anyway, so then I knew one thing if

08:21 The scum fire stopped something was happening. Then a plume of smoke. The next thing I was waiting for was a parachute to open and I knew if there was no parachute over that man would die. So I was four years and I was on my way home from the nursery crossing the fields watching this thing the strange strange ballet in the sky with a deadly outcome another explosion the latest so those are my days. Other than that. I had really a wonderful time was kind of amazing. I'll separate this whole village was from the rest of the world of the cities in particular for people without suffering and dying a large numbers. So

09:07 What else would you like to know?

09:17 Oh, yeah, you were sent back up to Hamburg with your mom right before the war ended and my mom was three years with me after initially.

09:33 Initially, I was alone then she followed because my aunt took me down there is a baby anyway, so we traveled back together because the war was kind of coming to an end I heard and we had to go back for family purposes. I was a hamburger. I was registered there. I was not a child and Byberry I was to go to school up north. Would you believe school that's actually talk of school. So we arrived they are we have no home. Like I said, we were bummed out we lived in Barracks Barracks gym together very soon. Very cool. Very desperate with my with my grandmother with us.

10:15 It was very difficult to survive there or remember my mother joined by her sister or taking Handbags and walking about 6 to 7 miles to a train station where one of them which it would a wood would a child on the other one would steal calls of a wagon then they would carry coals back for the sex 6-7 by us to obtain like two evenings of warm which was only to be found at the kitchen and the winters are pretty bitter and put a gold global warming them. So it was pretty harsh reticulated that winter.

10:57 Sell those are some of the memories they were small me going on behind a shelter submerged under the ground was just physically from the outside Bailey the roof the alarms would sound out if we could hear the planes coming for a long ways off. Then the Searchlight would hits the skies and a really strange ballet people running for the shelter.

11:28 My mother told me that every time that happened I would take it washed ball and hold it over my head and just in case something might happen to me so and during the shelter Bailey lights burning which reflect ring and sometimes going out everybody huddle together and a small dank place while the explosions were to be hurt and some science shaking the ground around you. So my mother told me I was so rattled by one of those bombs. I would not speak for a week or two not open my mouth. So a lot of us were really kind of damage people in so many ways. It's almost impossible to conceive any normal way of looking at life. Every thing that you did at the strange strange feeling of why why why this always came up and everything that we did as children you're not why did we have to learn? Why did

12:28 We have to do this if the outcome is what we have so much. I think the whole generation crew f with a some kind of a nihilistic look at things. The only thing that saved the Charmin still mechanics, they love the Canticle things. They like working with her hands. So spintastic therapy in a way for some of us who can come potluck compartmentalize and I just fell and ignore a lot of information that was actually available or given that you couldn't take it all in because the whole thing was just too devastating to digest for young people to begin with.

13:12 Particularly outstanding was in movie theater. Where are you? You should see Bambi a little later. But Bieber at that time we were herded into the movie theater, and we came from mothers and fathers who loved us. We have no choice we have parents and here we wear in the movie theater in for an hour and a half. We saw nothing better Jewish bodies concentration camps all the courses in the most gruesome way in black and white for now on and a half, but I'd like to think I was seven.

13:50 That left an impact that you don't forget. I mean the same movie theater. I watch Bambi a little later. So that's kind of hard to digest. So I think the German Movie images her look for the slices American bom, bom be in that movie theater that I was too experienced so I kind of fell in love

14:12 We'll see idea of America at that time. I also pretended I was French I wasn't comfortable with being German.

14:25 Set all left an imprint, but I went back to school school was pretty much a torture the devastating because a lot of our teachers had seniority and returned and they actually did Nazis.

14:41 Strict autoritaria miserable creatures on top of that they were injured by War devastated defeated and now they were teaching young children about life which mostly consisted of disciplinary in action. And yeah, so I had continuously disagreement with my teachers most of them. I didn't know why I was too young to figure that one out because things just didn't fit.

15:14 Life choice or life color was not to be found. After what we've gone through when I think it was an awful lot of gray greatness and misery for a long long time. I also remember the first day I saw an orange the color was devastating. I haven't seen anything glowing that hard and so colorful in my life because just about everything growing into of any of that weather is not a Southern fruit of any kind that doesn't have the fire print colors. So

15:47 Those are the Impressions that I had from my time.

15:52 And what about

15:54 We're living in, Missouri.

15:57 You didn't see her father for quite some time until you were 7, right?

16:01 Yeah, right. When did you finally saw your father? Can you tell us a little bit about what's another thing? I thought was pretty common returnee prisoners-of-war returning late. My father spoke a little English. So he was returned in 1948 like three years after the war ended.

16:24 He was imprisoned and caught.

16:28 To be prisoner in Italy. I move to Algeria and a prison camp run by the British in the desert.

16:38 So then the war ended eventually my mother and her family trying to hold things together in one way or another quite difficult but different personalities, but all having to do one thing is so buys basically so they were welded together by necessity and

16:58 Very lack of living space was devastating on people and their habits.

17:06 That sounds about when you sign up for the first time, I've never really seen your dad before right nobody knew when and who would one person would return it. If they did return at all the radios ran 24 hours a day. Again. Again list of names listed people looking for people asking them to Signal a lot of signal for telling you one way or another it's so people knew who was dead. They had been waiting forever and ever with the hope that I would still return. So my mother took me to a train station hamburgers are Harbor summer camp alive arrive by boat.

17:58 And the people go lining the shorelines wondering if one of their people was aboard they all went to the station to learning station, and then they were waiting some relaxing some nearby. Can I went to the train station one day my father had be loaded onto a train.

18:20 There he was my mother stared me at a man that I didn't know. She makes me kind of Uno.

18:34 It was

18:37 You took him home. He was had malaria very severe case of malaria and moved in with us. I remember him being very sick for a long time will become as physical ailments as well as what happened to a slice in the past, which was very difficult. And I remember him being at your how many of us trying to put together everything it needed and anybody remind them in anyway, so soldiers of the war, we're not welcome. They were not part of life. It was very difficult for them to find a foothold in the economy.

19:19 So nobody wanted to see them nobody wanted to say anybody who had been in uniform to begin with so.

19:27 It was kind of hard to watch on. I always felt terrible about my father's life know which one. Why am I sitting here? Living my life been why he had to go through what he had to go. So in the end, I keep thinking and respect to all the things I had to deal with or put on the one who had first of all I think everybody should have gone to art school. Every German. They all should have done Rorschach test and interpreted life in one way or another. I always travel test enlarged school to school and I was always dreaming of men. I'd like to go there but financially it was ridiculous. It was only for wealthy people who still had money who could fool around and arts school and I think the Germans should have all gone there.

20:22 So that was that portion. What else is there? Yeah.

20:38 Yeah.

20:40 Pastor describe, I guess I'll have myself a little bit my decision making process about the future of my life never made much sense one way or another it was instinctive more than anything, but one thing I had.

20:56 My father was visited by a man from San Francisco.

21:03 He exported canned goods. They said why don't you sent your son over for a visit? And I said that sounds good. So it took me a little time. I had a working Visa in 3 weeks from the Consular and I traveled off. I went off to the US on the boat.

21:24 From Rotterdam to Halifax freezing winter New York amazingly arising with the Statue of Liberty's very impressive very amazed.

21:38 Visited by a remote Uncle of mine were picking me up at the pier and we drove home to what was it called Long Island where they lived at the time.

21:55 And I couldn't wait to get out because

21:59 I had received Fats Domino. I had to go to Greenwich Village. They had to do certain things that are really important to me and The Peppermint Lounge was a terrible place. I remember this that means anything to you keep playing. My remember those also I had just go see the battery which was like at that time an amazing place. I heard so much about it didn't never made it to her and went back to my friends and Long Island.

22:41 They were cousins of mine sort of remote going to HighSchool. You took me to HighSchool. I was amazed. It was just the most amazing experience I've ever seen coming from where I came from. So things sounded really regretted the sites that buy likes movies and that

23:04 I like movies a lot, especially when they were in cinemascope.

23:08 Wide Open Spaces singular trains going through the desert small towns where people have to work out their problems directly one-on-one. There was no consensus like German human, you know, how much a lady

23:25 Guiding people that was really some brough personal exchanging going on in the US and it was always personal and Germany is in Europe to say there a lot of Unwritten rules that guide you the limiting some of a feel of the self worth of selfless brother. That was all interesting to me if you get what I mean, so there was a movie called

23:51 Yeah, what was that bad day on Black Rock?

23:55 Ring any Bell have a Spencer Tracy.

24:00 Army veteran on the train traveling through the trailer to a town with seven people or 12 something like that one gas station or pump and I he was delivered this metal 2 + 2 of war hero that didn't exist anymore. So he found out why the guy didn't exist anymore. It's a small town life where people work out sings one-on-one all set and put in the desert brought together by a silver streaking train through through it. This were amazing things that really trick up my imagination.

24:48 Find out so

24:54 Obviously went left.

24:56 Rent one. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah. I came here. I had a round trip ticket. I was going to stay eventually, but the weather was miserable everywhere, and I was going to bus crossing.

25:11 Near Truckee. Yeah, the old old Interstate 80. I guess it was the snow was as high as the bus and Nebraska everything was miserably cold in the best driver said we'll be in San Francisco in 2 hours. The temperature will be what was at 84u00b0 it's sunshiny and I said you're not on a plane. This is impossible. But it was who so I arrived here and it was the weather at that moment. I knew it was going to be the weather the weather that form the table for me hear The Beach Boys were playing and I even tolerated aluminum Christmas trees on the beach as a Christmas symbol, so

25:56 There was a lot of stuff that was completely different from what I was used to but that's what I wanted. That's why I stayed and that's what I married something entirely different for my own personality because I didn't have any of it. So

26:18 What went to art school and you finally got to do art I think that you know your experiences when you were young seem to come a little bit closer k'lon that are you from Hershey bar, grateful to that soldier who gave you the Hershey bar and the Bambi and the movie such a Key West because

26:53 You you know developed into this amazing man with my dad was so proud to have you as my dad.

27:11 Thank you for the hardship that you in the subway cars all night and really teenagers and going without heat and not eating for a lot of people want to but to me it's so valuable that you acknowledge them and that you let it shape you in a positive way. And so you're interested.

27:48 The other one is your sister.

27:57 Noel

28:00 Just kind of an interesting set up because we are isn't part of it. But she just dance it's there with her single nor had you know, it's like there's a presence fact that you are visually there.

28:15 Did you want to tell us more about you have so many great?

28:22 Stories about the early days like when you were entrusted with carrying the milk, this is bad going rewinding back to when you're living.

28:39 Add this free rein the food was scarce. It's hard to buy food of any kind. And I even if you were given steps for family to get sort of a minimum intake and it always in Fife standing in line much longer than Trey. Charles. I mean really long lines very often members of the family were sent out to send a line which was little kids. So the mother would come later on that purchase something and it was still there. So very often you should have long lines and wondering is there still milk available by the time you reach the counter so

29:26 Andrea remember someone saying back

29:29 I told her I was so happy to have my milk.

29:33 Which will send a can that you brought yourself. It was not something you got from a store. It was given to you in your own vessel for the first time, right? It was right lyrics so I skipped out of their great proud of myself happy to have milk and then I fell on my face and spilled all the milk. It was very difficult to go home after that.

30:10 You know, I cried over spilt spilt milk ice cream.

30:18 What else is there?

30:22 Yeah, I guess my home was actually for boys.

30:28 Accolade in a strange way a great playground because there's nothing greater than that destroyed City for kids for boys to find interesting things and like a grenade or ammunition things that we would pick up and

30:45 Gem into a sewer and throw the lid on it and watch it explode. Those were all the toys of the day sometimes and brakes are everywhere and old cars to be climbed into catch us everywhere. We could hide in basements. And if so,

31:04 It was the most scary biggest playground you could possibly imagine in many ways. But as a child strangely.

31:14 You don't comprehend the real misery. It's your playground. No matter what in some way. You know, somebody who they are some very very horrible people that speaks out about it. And yeah, you stop and speak about how are you grow up? You know that your family was ostracized for not supporting the Nazi party and Hitler and people who were supportive and today really I feel like you often talk about how you feeling some of the same Sentiments of intolerance.

32:11 It looks less that you should print Leslie Hill champ Reddit made me today very sensitive. I see the devil on the wall every 5 minutes the tendency to interpret something that might go wrong and Society.

32:29 Martin Luther jet that he always so he saw the devil on the wall and throwing paw said it and I tend to be like this very sensitive to indications that might send us an interest or attarian some kind of game so

32:50 My friends

32:53 We're actually a good addition because they were both very different. Some of them never separate on the war. They have father was a doctor. They had always everything another one of those too old for service. The father always had jobs. They were pretty much an intact family. And then there were the other part of us. They were victimized where the father was missing. The mother was missing or they were separated for other reasons and poverty was such that they had no no no socks in the winter. It was plenty of embarrassment caused by poor boys in the winter when your mother knitted stockings for boys.

33:37 Deadwood where we had only shorts not many of us had long pants for the winter. So we had stockings made of wool and held by car. Pills attached to our shorts on the inside which was very embarrassing to a boy. So we're are wearing shorts in the snow taking off our socks whenever we could it was just really embarrassing time when your

34:12 Went to school in your nuts a teacher goes to the gym with you makes us all lined up like soldiers and the gym.

34:22 Then takes off his pants and his wooden leg he ties up his shorts below the stump at it demands attention and hops over to high bar in Des Moines. What do you call it? Push-ups pull-ups, and we all had to apply.

34:44 Oh my gosh, they sell things that you can do when you have a will and you are not seat and it was just a horrible time with a personality of some of those people. I was just let me know straight out of the rent, right?

35:04 It's been a continual.

35:07 It seems that you really you're always the kid who pushed back and like you said you insisted on seeing Beauty in our world and I feel like you've always been the person Artist At Heart photography. I feel like you always despite all of that. You saw Beauty in everything and search for it and it's true. There was a need of that and I think that was came for my mother. I think quite sure because she was able to find ways to dress ways to present herself in the surroundings and always looking for visual Beauty. She loved she look paintings and she hates herself Tiana once in awhile, but she liked to paint so a lot of

36:01 Hardship was mask by imagination. She was quite good of his pretending more than facing the reality sometimes which was good or bad and I've reflected to you know, I don't always face reality at all because it's very difficult sometimes.

36:20 What time when I was?

36:23 Seems to not want to be German. Just wanted to just be in the mirror.

36:28 That's right. Yeah, definitely. I was French and nobody believe me ever other impression. I'd like to leave somehow my best friend sweetheart auction caliber, but it was a World Cup in 1954. We were fourteen years old and was in Switzerland and we had no television sets OB climb to the back window off a bar to click catch a glimpse. So we were there and there was full of smoke you can imagine the television picture wall snow and smoke in the room. Anyway, so hungry play don't they scored NBA applauded and

37:19 A number of people watching the game turned around and said what kind of Germans are you and that shook shook has Peter and me that these guys were so nationalistic and a stupid soccer game just need to be there because we were plotting something beautiful that was done regardless of who did it and that remained with me this kind of nationalistic and 1954 reaction was kind of guitar both me.

37:53 Also determine the ability to compartmentalize and focus and exclude certain patients. I mean

38:03 That's where the French came in or never go to France because they're perfect. I don't want to ruin the image. So

38:11 Okay.

38:13 I'm glad.

38:16 How do you feel?

38:20 I don't know at this point.

38:22 You feel happy to be German. Incredible person who built an amazing life for yourself this I have not prepared for this. I don't like preparation place just stumbled through my own life as you wish book sex.

39:02 Thank you God for doing this. I learned a lot of new things today.

39:05 Yeah. Yeah. I hope I hope you didn't catch too much of my personality and might have missed as they say if you want to live a happy life disappoint your parents.

39:22 So

39:27 That's it.

39:32 Are we from here?