Arlana Reaves and Randi Brasfield

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00:02 OK Google how long you can go ahead I am 30 days date is October 8th 2020. I'm located in Orange Park, Florida. And Randi brasfield is my partner.

00:17 I'm Randi brasfield. I'm 33 years old. Today is October 8th 2020. I'm in Jacksonville, Florida. And arlana Reaves is my one small step partner.

00:27 All right, I'll go ahead and throw the first question into the chat box and Randi. Why don't you read it off?

00:35 Why did you want to do this interview today?

00:38 I can get the main reason why I want to do it was because I mean listen to me honestly, I mean it.

00:46 The state of the name of the Country Junction I just call you but also you are you know, the greater Jackson is really hiding and there's a lot of tension and I feel that by sitting down and talking with people. You don't eat me when you start sitting down and talking with people. It really helps dispel some of that tension and a lot of times we trying to find out information that we're getting all his hours, which I don't think that's that's that's not health is not the healthiest, you know, y'all have to live in this is fighting together. We all need to be talked to each other. So I kind of want to sit down and have this conversation. Just to be able to do that. Also, you know, we're not able to get out as much as you don't have those conversations as organically as possible. So I think that was also a secondary reason to

01:41 It seems like all we do in our discourse today is generalize the other and then immediately do not demonize them. So I don't really believe that there is any other I believe that we are all one is hippy-dippy as it may sound and I think it's worthwhile to find common ground with everyone.

02:05 So the next time that I wanted to do was to put both of you guys is bios in there and then have the other person read it and if there's anything when you're reading that bio for the first time that you find interesting just to ask him about it. So we're going to start with me throwing and Randi spile and arlana, you could read it to Randy and then if there's anything that you find interesting in there go ahead and ask her back or I'm going to do that right now.

02:44 I'm a thirty-three-year-old woman that didn't realize she was gay until she was Thirty one. I've been in a loving relationship since then. I've always assumed love simply wasn't for me and then I won't be alone romantically with that in mind. I surround myself with great friends and share the love. I have all sorts of people I focus on school in my prayer. Now I'm able to leave in which school life. I'm incredibly grateful for the years. I spent alone and even more grateful to the so I guess let you know just starting at the top.

03:17 I said, you know you kind of

03:21 Oh, gosh. I lost my place.

03:29 It says you focus on your school in your career. What was that Focus if you don't mind me asking.

03:34 Yeah, so I grew up in Central Alabama relatively low middle class and I just wanted better for myself. And so I went to a small Southern Baptist University in Alabama and studied business and then moved on to my first career here in Jacksonville, and I've fallen into the software industry and I absolutely love it and I just was able to focus and and do things that people who start a family very young and find love and have much more full lives aren't necessarily able to do with such ease early on so it's nice to kind of a springboard it into adulthood without that one aspect that takes up a lot of time and energy

04:25 I totally owe no, go ahead.

04:33 Okay, Is there anything else that you found interesting from there that you wanted to ask about?

04:41 I guess what made you realize you know that you were gay and you know that you know that there was there was a relationship out there for you because I know for the most part he's not usually we can we try to find ourselves but not every guy that you don't find yourself in over it by the time I do know we're like late when he's done. So I guess what was that change for you?

05:03 The change for me was I would say the reason that there was no change sooner was that I didn't see myself mirrored anywhere. So growing up in Central Alabama if the only gay people, you know, or a rumor CK is probably your High School PE teacher and that wasn't me so surely I wasn't gay like I just had no picture of what it meant to be a homosexual in Central Alabama where you know, it's really just in the Bible Belt. So once I moved to Jacksonville and became exposed to more different different types of people, I started realizing like, oh that's not the only picture of what it's like to just be gay. So for me what that means? I think it's more important to have

05:55 Homosexual lifestyle as shown in media have all sorts of people represented as opposed to just be secretaries that we get stuck in and we don't really know ourselves cuz we never seen it lived out.

06:10 That's what happens. I move to the big ol city of Jacksonville, Florida.

06:19 Are I could go ahead and throw arlanas in there? And then Randy you could read that.

06:33 I chopped after the first sentence one second.

06:43 All right.

06:47 You're a member of the leadership board of black lives Alliance play formally BLM clay my family or your family is local to Clay County and it's been involved in activism for at least five generations by my great-great-grandfather was superintendent of black schools in post-reconstruction, Georgia. You less clay in 2011. Largely due to racial harassment in 2014, and you're now husband and yourself return because you wanted to help make clay better for future Generations now to children under 3 years old who all attends the big events. So I certainly have to ask the fact that your great-grandfather was the superintendent of black schools in post-reconstruction. Georgia is obviously a one part of your activism history in her family, but what else five generations what kind of activism does that represent?

07:43 Oh gosh. I many honestly it's kind of some of everything with my I mean starting you do with myself. The first thing that I really really got passionate about about was, you know, the environment and I remember anything related until the first thing that I got involved with was environmental activism. That was about 19 years old actually started a little maybe go see a group but my project was I will go around like the nursing homes and hospitals in in in around Green Cove and I will collect cans to recycle recycling start it with my mother and my grandmother they rapping part of the largest civil rights movement in Southwest Georgia. So it's kind of salt because the Albany movement, I believe it's all been it was like the nearest

08:43 So growing up that you know that he faced a lot of harassment because you know, it was Southwest Georgia Cairo Georgia don't think they really exports athlete but from my grandmother, she always says, you know the real moment she realized that she needs to do something. It wasn't when she was a child so much and you know, they were they had to walk to school while the whites to know where buses go never pass them and throw things at them. It was more so as an adult whenever she had at 10 and she went to go buy at my mom and my aunt ice cream and she had to go around to the back window to be so she wasn't good enough money was good enough, but it was she wasn't going to come in there and sit down and enjoy a stream with the rest of them. So

09:27 That's actually my grandmother got involved and whenever she got involved she took my mother with her and my aunt with her that later my uncle and she just make sure that you know what she was working for what you know betterment. She was working for wasn't going to be lost on her kid and they were going to pick up that same baton and go with it and my mother her class was the first integrated class at my school and she actually was the first black belt of Orion of theirs. What about her and my cousin is succeeding wasn't enough for her that wasn't enough to gain equality because although they were both the first black valedictorian of that school. No one ever talked to them about college. That was just an OnStar. No one was going to even mention college student black kids. So she

10:24 Got to work in a mine for a little bit. She was a small business owner before she started to go back to school and she did go back to school. But did she sell but whenever we move down or back down to my family, we move back down to Florida and she was actually looking at at switching colleges and the issue that she ran into a 1990s Florida. Was that even then even with her grade in with her, you know, her transcripts and everything. She acted wasn't even given application to apply to the school that she wants to go to because she was black. So with that, you know, she made sure that you know the steps that my grandpa weren't lost on her generation. She want to make sure that they continue with me and my sisters, you know, how kids

11:10 Well incredible and you let play in 2011 largely due to racial harassment. What is your experience?

11:19 Grown up, Annie and Clay County has ended my family's been there since you know, you know forever since milk for Clay County was Clay County but the issue and although you know, we have a good support Base outside of that support base and there's nothing and I actually had a neighbor who she was elderly when she was all black. She was well-known and she survived getting hit by a semi-truck only to you know, she end up, you know, no she couldn't walk out that she didn't wheelchair-bound. She used to buy all of that just to get killed by the police in her home. And so that was like really, you know, it was kind of a wake-up call because you know things were closer to home than happened to thousand. But then also with that, you know, it kind of It kind of made all the others lights that I have put up, you know put up with no does, you know the sideways comments about race?

12:19 That you know, they really is kind of starting to wear on me and whenever I did you know, whenever time I did graduate school, you know, I graduated school in 2008. So around that time it was a constant bombardment of eating a comment from even friends about how I'm not staying because I'm black and there's a coming race war and don't you know, do I know that you know, all the blacks were going to be hung don't worry because I like you you'll be safe, It's like that and then also there was police harassment. I was actually stopped for riding a child scooter and the officer he admitted that he had no reason to stop me. He admitted that you know, he just wanted to harass me and whenever I took those complaints to are cheap at the time he literally said, okay. So what do you want me to do with it? I can put in a complaint, but I can tell you right now.

13:19 And my niece and my nephew they were in elementary school. They were being harassed by the police as well even go outside to play driving by and tell them they need to go back in the house was being harassed, you know people with the police officer will sit outside her house and cars over and it just told you that tired and I also around that time I used to work for the Census Bureau and there was a lot of animosity towards people were working at 6. So we would have people who will call us just like launched into racist tirade and just all kind of ugliness. I think we even had some employees who had gone. Because you know, and I was accused of being a communist you told me I was just there to take people to concentration camp. So it got cold it got tired and I'm not going to lie.

14:19 Applying Elsewhere for jobs, and I got a job at a jewelry store and I was very very weird and I want it right.

14:37 If you don't mind me asking if I'm both your guys's stories really interesting one for you are Lana is that you chose to come back which I find very interesting and I guess for you Randy a growing up in an area where you said you didn't really see the role models that you eventually needed. Would you ever consider going back is something I want it kind of attitude problem question. I wanted to post it both of you guys.

15:08 Whoever wants answer that first. Go ahead.

15:12 Go ahead a lot of how how did you decide to go back? And what's it like now?

15:18 I guess I'm not going to lie. I grew up in a very, you know, like big tight-knit family. There was 11 people in my house all that one time. So everyone is like really really so I miss everybody I miss everybody. I love my nephew. He was three at the time and he just knew he was going with me. So it already broke my heart to have to leave him. But the more I thought about it. I mean I came to a point where I just realized and I just said to myself I refuse to let anyone run me from my home. I'm home Clay County is my home and you know, I'll be darned if anybody's not tell me I'm not welcome in my home. So I went back I went back also, you know, I just got tired of Gainesville is nice and it's beautiful, but it wasn't home. So I felt that I needed to be home and you know watching my nephews and my little my niece my my little sister all them grow up and I wanted to be there for it and I

16:18 They were going to have a hard time anyway, and I was always taught that each generation is supposed to do better for the next but the Next Generation can't do better unless we teach him I would give him a leg up and I needed to be a part of that. I mean I wouldn't have been if I'd I know and never went back. I don't think I would have been able to die have it because I would have done anything that would have made their life and you know better by, you know, even you know, I'm a miniscule amount.

16:44 Hi, we are honorable. I've been away from home for 10 years now, and I've certainly made Jacksonville my home when I left. My family is very close to it, and it was a difficult thing to do. But I knew that I needed to go somewhere where there are more jobs and that was really the main motivation originally and then my mother passed away and my father and my brother ended up in a situation with addiction that he needed a safe place to go that was away from everything that he knew and I was able to offer that here. So he now living lives in St. Marys and was married a couple of weeks ago and is doing quite well, so I would say that while I would love to go back to Birmingham and be part of the present happening there. I have found a home here in Jacksonville, and I will invest in this city instead.

17:45 So I can go ahead and throw in the third question.

18:00 And Alana, why don't you ask Randy just want to start and what do they teach you?

18:12 Growing up and probably for most of my life at person was my grandmother. We call her boo boo and she taught me how to fry apple pies and how to live my life in service to others. She would cook meals for the family and and not sit down herself. And so pretty much everyone was done eating because she would be up refilling sweet tea glasses and just doing whatever she could to make everyone feel welcome and at home and comfortable and I just saw her with this large family showing each person some sort of individualized loves and

18:48 Rarely thinking about herself. And that was just absolutely inspirational to me. She's very strong and her face and that's very important to her. And another thing that she taught me was how to keep a close group of friends and how much that can enrich your life and you know, since then of watch documentaries about Pacific island group where women stay together and end up living these fantastically long lives and I've seen that with her. She's over 90 years old and still bowls in a league and pretty spectacular woman and certainly an inspiration to me to this day but later in life my best friend,

19:34 Taught me how to

19:38 Appreciate happiness and cultivated and I think that that lesson is so important to me on a daily basis that I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my best friend was an influence in my life.

19:55 So who's the most influential person in your life? And what did they teach you?

19:59 I think I think you have to be a tie and I'm not just saying that because I'm scared of both of them. But I mean truly I truly appreciate both of them, but it will have to be my mother and my grandmother because they my grandmother came down here in 91 to raise me. I was a baby and she and I had an older sister how I have an older sister. So she came down here to take care of us. And what was supposed to be like 30 Years Day almost and she really my mom my mom and my mom was there too because we know we all grew up in the house together. We all go over the house together and they both equal parts in raising me and my siblings and my cousins because they were in the house too. But she really you know, she took the town where is my mom she had school and she had worksheet. My grandmother was always there in the meantime, she filled in the responsibility for anything that you know, what desires you know, she was there for it but also, you know, they're you know or our education she was there for that as well, too.

20:59 And even when she she didn't know the answers, she made sure that we had the resources we were able to have the resources to get them ourselves. And she was just I mean she was just two Nations. I mean you just use one of those types of people where she's not going to stop until she gets her way which sometimes you know, my grandma is just a little too. We're not going to lie sometimes you know, it's it's not necessarily, you know that you know what you want. But also I mean that y'all got Drive II really I love it and I appreciate it and she really instill that in me not to not to accept the status quo. He's not just crossed, you know to know my words and also to go for you know, what I deserve and you know what, you know what my skill level deserves and by that same token so that my mother really make sure that we were always think and we don't want for anything we weren't rich but I mean

21:59 And they were both very very loving but also, you know my mother she's also she make sure that you know, we knew to speak up and speak up in all cases, you know, if we saw something that was wrong for being treated, right, you know, we always knew that we can come to her and tell her what was going on and what was wrong and you know, it was going to get fixed between her and my grandmother There Goes My Fix-It are here when the first strong examples. I saw that, you know really in elementary school. I was being bullied, you know, when I first started kindergarten and I didn't do my hair and I'm glad you could make it stick up and they call me conehead. So I was coming home crying from school every single day and I told him.

22:59 Grandma what was going on? And I'm just got off of work and I'm going to be too tired. But my grandmother my grandmother who doesn't even try this woman has never drive a car in a ditch and she made sure that we got we both got rides after school to go up to the school and she bypassed front office went straight to my teachers off her portable and let her know that they were you never never in all those kids were never never going to blow me again, and there are worse than you know, she was going to come up there and you know, she was going to sell it herself. So I guess they got to just show me of that you do if you see something wrong with it say something.

24:00 Yeah, sorry. I'll be around a little bit.

24:06 Here I could throw in the fourth question now.

24:13 Man, I guess we can do the other way. We're Randy you ask our lineup.

24:24 I guess I'm a very liberal and but as far as my values, I think that my political philosophy is always not just not just to vote my own interest not just to look out for myself, but look out for those around me. I'm not really a religious person I go to church funerals and you know when it's maybe Easter and say Hey, you know, I'm in I'm out but I've always taken the the approach that you know until they don't love thy neighbor and for me, my neighbor, is it just living the person that you know in the house next door to me. My neighbor is also the person who lives on the other end of the county. My neighbor is also the person who lives on the other end of the state of the country the other end of the world. So whenever I do faux and you know, the things in the candidate platforms that I do support I make sure that they're always platform is that are going to do the most good eye.

25:24 Couldn't sleep at night knowing that I voted for a candidate that made you know, maybe make my life better, but it's going to make somebody else's life worse. I couldn't do that. I couldn't sleep well at night doing that. So but also, you know, I do know that you know, we have I feel like we all have a responsibility to make the world better and I just feel like part of that responsibility. It's you know, it is you know is no

25:50 Is taking on so much is child support taken on more responsibility. You know, we don't feel like you know, it's my duty to you. No pay my taxes, you know, just to make sure that you know, although yes is money out of my pocket is going okay with it because it's going to make sure that we all have resources that we need or it's going to make sure somebody, you know, like you don't like my grandmother who can't work make sure you know, she's got no you don't hurt her check and she's taken care of but also somebody else's grandmother. Why don't know I want to make sure that they're going to be taking care of it with my own bubble. I want to make sure everyone is taken care of.

26:28 So I'm I guess I'll ask you also could you briefly describe in your own words your foot your personal political values are Baseline. I taking care of others certainly a baseline. I believe the government should have those safety net programs for those in need but I also would say that we have to stop overspending you can call me liberal but with a lot of butts and how Evers ideally I think that smaller government is best but I don't trust profit-seeking corporations to act in the best interest of the people or the environment for that matter. So I can't say that I support a fully free market. I can't say that I think that the government has any business dictating morality when it doesn't involve the well-being of another human. I think that we should have the freedom to do as

27:28 Please until it infringes on another's right. I think the government over reach it is certainly a problem. But there's just too much of it. I think it's convoluted at this point and simplification could really do a do some wonders. I have to identify as liberal. But unfortunately, I think that your body system is just something that we likely need to do away with so that we can actually talk about issues that supposed to just arguing with each other about a set of beliefs that allegedly this group believes cuz I don't really

28:10 Feel that way. I feel like what happens is that the media will take the Obscure opinion of a few people and amplify their voices and studly conservatives believe this or liberals believe that and I would much rather talk about the actual issues and talk about, you know, your grandmother who may need assistance like let's make sure those people are taken care of as opposed to talking about some obscure opinion that was posted on Reddit.

28:45 I don't know if you guys had any follow-up with that but or any questions that you guys wanted to ask each other. If not, I can throw something else in there. But if there is anything else you guys are interested in talking about with one another by all means take the reins and go ahead. I'm just let me know. I like the the question. Do you ever feel misunderstood by people with different beliefs than you like the other side of the aisle? How does that make you feel about the label?

29:25 Give me like the label, you know, just the Republican vs. Democrat liberal and a conservative was to have that.

29:36 Label in front of them and what that would make them feel about who you are as a person. Do you is there any dissonance there for you?

29:46 Yeah, and there is I mean

29:49 I mean, I feel like you can definitely tell you no and somehow I feel like I'm feeling better about it than others. But I feel like that is almost like a stigma to be labeled as I really don't use as an insult when it shouldn't be same way conservative should be used as an insult and I do feel like there's definitely some misunderstandings bear. I feel like nowadays specially now whenever you know,

30:18 Muscle car service that I know whenever they kind. Do you know about the term liberal? I feel like dating. I feel like they don't realize that they're talking about me it feel like that. They're talking about Phantom Boogeyman real estate somewhere in California this summer house in DC. That's just you know, what your puppies and babies and so I feel like whenever they use those terms they don't realize they're talkin about me and how you know that you know kind of makes you feel because it really does make me feel

30:53 It makes me feel some type of way.

31:06 I feel that same way with both sides of the aisle for sure. I will see family members for something on Facebook and I just want to ask them like do you feel that way about me? Like do you know that you're saying those things about me? Cuz I know that they would never say these things directly to my face about me, but it's okay to say about a generalized group of people. So I think that's very similar to the way that you were feeling and

31:40 Frost Frost out there right now. I think that the other thing that's not happening is actual conversations with human beings. So when we we take those approaches of generalizing the other group or the other side of the aisle and speaking those generic terms.

32:00 We're completely missing out on the complexity of human beings and their opinions and beliefs systems experiences. And I sometimes just want to slam a computer and go talk to my neighbor a face-to-face to see because like what I was talking about those obscure opinions being Amplified. I think when that that obscure opinion gets Amplified assigned to a group so we'll save liberals now suddenly liberals believe this and I also see my father post on Facebook about it. I want to say do you know anyone who actually believes that because if you just talked to someone who identifies as a liberal I doubt that they believe that

32:48 I definitely agree. I seen the kids up at my husband is white. So we've got some mutual cousin. So sometimes you know, I look and I see what they post and I made it just really sucks this kind of hurtful. It's like, you know, I feel if you actually really talk cuz I feel like they really actually took time to talk to somebody else, you know who was in that demographic that they're damaged demon eyes and then they wouldn't have felt awful saying what they were saying opposed to what they were posted but you know, sometimes the odds, you know, you know conversations be on the surface level. Unfortunately, you do it it's sometimes minuscule, but I do want to ask whatever you do find yourself in those situations. How do you how do you preserve your well-being of your Saturday practice self-care when you find yourself, you know, you don't bring those clothes in those situations.

33:48 Certainly detached and my actual real life world is so full and vibrant that's very easy for me to dismiss social media and the things that are stated on these platforms because I do have those real conversations with my dad like we do we do talk on the phone and we sometimes do talk about politics and it is never the kind of heated debate that would happen on a social media platform. It is civil. It is listening to each other. It is finding common ground and honestly, I've I've never been a part of a real-life political argument that gets his heated estate to on social media platforms. So I just try to disassociate and say this isn't actual life and people get really bold and really strong when they're hiding behind a screen and

34:48 Prefer to just accept reality as this face-to-face contact in and make sure that there's a true voice behind it and not just someone feeling bold because they're Anonymous in any way shape or what about you? Yeah. I just want I did want to ask you I want to a somebody that is part of some of these groups with black lives matter in Clay County and somebody that yeah, and you said you've dealt with racial harassment. Have you had those kind of I guess tense political discussions out in the open out in public?

35:27 I will say I've had glucose aggressions, but they don't never never get to the point where there is heated as they are on Facebook though. It's just like that. I mean I got to tell me everything, you know, I have always felt the need to tell me everything about you know, that our lives are puppies live dies in their political views, but I've never seen like the same the same is animosity and Nationals in public as I have directed at me as I have in Facebook. Just before this summer, but I always have and always attended event and there's always somebody that like you really don't engage and I haven't you didn't have that same engagement and then in the incident where someone did engage me, you know with different views. It was always simple.

36:25 Because you know I used to I used to work in banking and so I had you know, it was in an area with an Ocotillo is the area that has more affluent that's cold. So y'all can do it and have customers that you know what to ask a question and in many cases I was the only black person or the only person of color that those that that that that person knew people would always ask me no kind of question is that felt like otherwise, they wouldn't have felt comfortable asking if you know anyone else but it never got I would say it and never got to the point where it was like finger-pointing and yell on it and being really insult and I'm lucky in that because I know everyone isn't that lucky, and I hope I'm able to let you know maintain that streak, but for me I didn't have to deal with the same last person on Facebook.

37:13 I didn't want to ask as well. And I'm sorry to keep going back to what you guys both wrote in your profile. But I did want to ask you if it did it shape both of your guys's political perspectives with what you guys have gone through Randy with you kind of finding your identity recently or over the years. And then if you are Lana growing up the way that you grew up I did that shape your world to you and your political perspectives as well.

37:45 And you can go first so for me.

37:49 I definitely identified as highly conservative until my early twenties and when my world started to opening up more my beliefs started opening up more and I realized that letting people do what they want and respecting them is so much more important than pushing any kind of moral agenda through the government gay marriage obviously is very important to me. It was not that important when it passed me. I was very happy. I remember crying tears of joy that people could love really again in the country for the first time in this country.

38:28 But this recent letter from Thomas Toledo and reading the post on social media from people. I know very well that are finally speaking out against gay marriage again is so shocking to me that

38:48 I would want to have that conversation in person with him as well. Like do you realize that you're talkin about me and

38:57 Do you feel that? I don't have a right to marry the person that I love just because that person is a woman and I feel like when you bring it down to that level of face-to-face like, you know me, you know that I will not cause you any harm because I'm getting married. It is simply because I want to express love and commitment and that traditional way that I don't think that they would say that to my face but they do feel pretty bold to be able to say that on the internet.

39:28 Oh, yeah, it's definitely shapes the way that I feel I like I said, I remember being very happy about gay marriage being passed. But when that letter came out at the opening of a supreme court session by definitely cry, my feelings are hurt like it is very hurtful to to be told that someone thinks that you should not be married.

39:56 Arlana

40:06 I think because I was raised with that. I was raised with that Village approach, you know that it takes a child to raise the village that that really did reach into my political moral points of view. It was me in the house. My mom my grandma and my sister my sister Danielle my aunt my cousin my uncle and more cousins and you know, then later, you know my nieces and nephews and we had a very big open your love and family and it also but also, you know who was in the house with us. It was also with my neighbors and you know their kids and their grandkids and their friends and they're so

41:04 And everyone, you know, it had Mother's Day. Everyone had asked everyone had played a part and how we were raised. We I knew that if you know if I did something wrong I didn't just have to worry about my mother or my grandmother getting on to me. I also had to worry about my neighbor, you know getting onto me and because of that shared responsibility in my world. I think that shared responsibility that the only shared responsibility to my adult world it is well, that's how I bought billion that too and I have a responsibility to make sure that kiss for me, but most people don't realize it because I'm married to a man so just because I made

42:04 Is that doesn't mean I don't have a responsibility to the people. Who else well who are also in the community who can't pass or I got to be, you know as invisible as I am. I still have responsibilities of that too. But also I feel like I have a responsibility to community said I am not necessarily a part of sample the Latin I feel like I have responsibilities as well. There is shoes in there are no legislation legislation in their rulings that are directly affecting them and although they don't have directly affect my life as if I have a part apart play because their things and their actions that I can still take that can make it easier for them coming up or the next one's coming up. I wholeheartedly agree, of course growing up didn't know what it was like to be a part of them are analyzed community and luckily

42:56 For me, you know, I was able to become an ally and open my open my eyes before I became a part of that marginalized Community, but that transition of supporting others.

43:09 Then becoming the other.

43:12 Definitely cost a shift in my beliefs and I remembered after I came out really thinking about it. Like I didn't change anything about the way that I look I didn't look any different than I did before so I can very well be straight to every person that I passed on the street. But for the first time in my life, I I was able to actually actually consider what it would be like to not be able to pass as the majority and up here like you are a straight white female that doesn't suffer from any kind of harassment or anything of that nature and I hit home for me. It was very eye-opening and while I was an ally before and you know, of course, we'll pick up and go to Black lives matter marches and whatnot from the summer. It's

44:10 Completely different to be a part of those communities and the passion that that I found through becoming a part of the marginalized community checking my beliefs.

44:28 So I forgot to give you guys the signals wax at 44 minutes there if it's okay, I would like to throw in one last closing question for you guys if if that was okay with you guys.

44:48 All right, and how about we do I don't know who I asked to read. The last question you guys remember. It's okay. How about we do arlana you ask Randy first. Is there anything you learned about me today?

45:10 The five generations of activism was shocking. I have met people whose Grandparents were sharecroppers, and I know how not far removed. We are from radical radical racism, but actually talk to someone whose family was fighting the fight for so many generations was an honor and a privilege and quite surprising.

45:39 Oops, I mean thank you. I mean, I I I really appreciate it and I just I am happy, you know, you're able to sit here and you can have this conversation with me.

45:51 I guess.

45:54 Looking at

45:57 Even looking at the question. I just kind of just thinking back on the conversations. I guess what kind of what surprised me most was just in a kind of jalapeno resilient you seem to be an intake and you know it and you know, discovering yourself and find out who you are and who you are and who you're meant to be but then also, you know being comfortable and secure enough in yourself what you know, you're still able to maintain, you know relationships, you know what people in your life who don't necessarily, you know support that part of you but I guess that was kind of you know, what what surprised me most times. I don't know if I would have been able to have that drink. I don't think I would be able to bother you. No because for me I mean

46:46 Habit Salon that close to me, you know, it's still not having to worry about them saying things that you know will be harmful or hurtful. I don't know that I got to have the same strength. So, you know, just tell me you don't maintain that you know that I commend you on that. I truly truly do I would say that it is more I can dismiss it, but I am certain that you encounter so much more of it that it's more difficult to stay calm when it's just you do if it's kind of like a ratio problem. What is 1 and 1500 comments not that difficult, but when you're on the internet and seeing these hateful comments about an entire race of people. Yeah, I could see where that would be a lot more if you

47:35 So I appreciate it. But I also think you're very strong.

47:44 I didn't want to ask Randy said the most influential person in your life is your grandma. And you said she was also very it. She said she's very religious as well. Are you able to share that aspect of your life with your family sharing face?

48:01 Full face and then your sexuality is what I actually just came out to my family my extended family at both before my brother's wedding a couple of weeks ago and my grandmother can't hear so we went with masks. There's no real communication. We can text a little bit but I didn't want to just hate text her and say hey Grandma, I'm gay. So I did introduce her to my girlfriend at the wedding as much as we could with social distancing and I would say nothing necessarily changed. I don't think that my grandmother would ever, you know grabbed me by the collar and wag her finger at me.

48:47 Any disappointment was something that I perceived it wasn't necessarily something that she showed which I respect wholeheartedly and appreciate and my family's been relatively open. I think the worst part was having to tell my father because my mother asked my mother before she passed away. She asked me twice if I was gay. She was pretty convinced. I did not know she knew but telling my father I went home or to his home for Christmas and I did not bring my girlfriend with me. I wanted to get some time to process and I'm glad I did he didn't fly off the handle her reaction any kind of negative way, but you could tell that he was shocks and he needed some time to process. So I'm glad I gave him that and then the rest of the family found out recently and I haven't gotten any hate mail or anything only.

49:47 Communication we were having before.

49:54 Celebs are all the questions that I had here. They're recording.