Kadi diatou Doumbia and Zainab Khan

00:04 My name is zainab Khan and I am 32 years old. Today's date is November 18th, 2015 and we are at the Chicago Cultural Center my relationship to my partner Cudi she is a friend and a fellow activist.

00:24 My name is Khadijah to do I go by the name Cady. I am 52 years old today's date is November 18th, 2015 and I am at the Chicago Cultural Center and my relationship with doesn't have is a friend of mine.

00:50 Paddy your journey has been fascinating. It's been empowering. It's been

00:58 One.

01:00 Really needs to be shared everywhere Where Do We Begin?

01:07 Where Do We Begin

01:10 I would like to begin.

01:13 All the way back to my country.

01:18 I am from Mali in West Africa and

01:26 I was born in raised over there at all the way to the age of 18. I left my country when I was 18 years old travel to Europe and fast forward came to the United States about 24 years ago 24 years ago and I live in Chicago right now.

01:55 Tell me let's rewind a little bit less rewind and your journey back to Molly.

02:02 Tell me what it was like.

02:12 I grew up in.

02:15 A very big family large family

02:22 In a

02:25 Polygamist family by which my father I had four mom's 4 moms in the family my father had four wives.

02:41 And

02:45 That's where I

02:47 Moore's Waze

02:51 Tough

02:54 Call me and

02:57 Went to school. I did go to school when I was in my country and

03:03 List when I was 18 at I want to focus.

03:09 Because my story is so long, and I don't.

03:14 When I talk about everything I want to focus on.

03:21 FGM that's that's what I want to talk about today. And of course it started it all started somewhere mine started in my country when I was young when I was growing up. Can't remember. What at what age

03:38 But that's where it started.

03:42 And down.

03:46 So if you can focus on that, that would be great.

03:53 Of course.

03:59 So you're a survivor of FGM?

04:06 And what do you want?

04:11 To share with the world or with us or even within now just what your experience while you're active. What it what are your hopes? What are your dreams? Why do you hope that your story can Inspire change?

04:27 What I hope

04:30 Is that from what I understand?

04:37 Lake in my country

04:40 FGM which is female genital mutilation

04:49 Is not illegal in my country is still going on.

04:58 My hope is that of course we have to have a

05:04 Education around this subject and we have to have a

05:10 Open conversation about the subject.

05:16 Because nobody talks about FGM nobody does.

05:22 And when they do and when we do talk about sgm, nobody stress on the fact that

05:32 You taking somebody they are taking something from somebody.

05:38 Did the true meaning of?

05:43 FGM is not.

05:47 Is not understood people are still confused. They don't know. Why is that I know that they think they do know. Why is that bad if

05:59 The government then there's no law around it. So why there is no law?

06:08 If you do this to a girl all you can be arrested or the government is not doing enough. That's that's what I want to say is not doing enough or literally doing nothing to prevent this. It's up to you. If you want to catch your child, you don't want to cut your child.

06:29 Usually how old are they are there are the children are the girls when they undergo this?

06:39 And maybe a week after you are born.

06:44 All the wait what age I don't know but I do know that when I went through ATM.

06:57 I don't know the age my age.

07:00 But I know I was very very young because I can't even remember.

07:08 I can't remember my age.

07:13 But I can remember some part of what was Dan Dan. Sorry. It happened when you are very very young, but sometimes it happen when you are older.

07:29 And you would see this in your in your village in your town and Molly it would see this Sisson annual.

07:39 What you had said earlier that there are a lot of people don't understand why it's done or what it's done. Let's do you mind talking a little about that enlightening. I'll switch because myself

07:59 I ate I went to my country I'm back in believe it was in 2001 and I decided to have a community event organizer Community been when we

08:20 The community the woman man and children we got together. We had a minnow play there were drums and talk about h e m and you know, they're what they had a play with people people played out, you know.

08:42 A play about FGM and educate the community about the at the end of that place we had.

08:53 Communication we had a stage where we asked question to a woman and have them answer why GM is practice.

09:05 Some of them some of the woman said you used to be done to

09:16 It has to be done because it is not done at when you are having when a woman is having a child.

09:26 And the woman is not cat.

09:29 It will affect.

09:32 The baby

09:35 That's what the woman said.

09:40 By Samara woman said well

09:45 We thought it was good to practice this but now we are stopping the practice.

09:53 So I am not sure this was years ago. I'm not sure. I'm not 100% sure.

10:02 If they practice what they are saying, yeah, some people would say it has to be done. But we stopped some people say

10:14 We know that is no good. So we are going to stop or we stopping but I'm not 100% sure what's going on.

10:22 And it is Jesse practice that effect.

10:27 Woman and affect me personally I can talk for myself because I went through this.

10:34 And the experience that I have

10:38 It's not the physical pain that I that I I have experience with NADA physical because I don't even remember the physical pain body psychological damage.

10:54 Stay With Me

10:57 Stayed with me to the fact that I am so emotional when I talk about it came because I can't imagine.

11:08 Taking a little girl.

11:13 Who?

11:15 Has no control of herself.

11:19 Taking the the child and yes.

11:25 Kotaku to these eyes occurrence because

11:30 Nobody wants to talk about it. They say circumcision they said

11:35 They have other ways that they would describe which has nothing to do with cutting but at the end of the day.

11:45 Is Kylie, let's face it.

11:51 And this stays with me.

11:55 Psychologically that even after I have I had my children have two children myself and they are girls.

12:05 I don't want to take them back home. I don't want to take them to to my country because

12:11 If you if I feel and I am 100% sure if I do somebody will take my children and cut them without me knowing what's going on.

12:26 So I lived my life here in fear.

12:30 I'm not in fear here because I know my children are safe.

12:35 I want to go back home.

12:38 But then I am in fear what if

12:42 Something like this gets done to your children.

12:47 So I had to choose are you going to stay here?

12:51 Protecting your children forever or are you going to

12:56 When they go home and and and

13:01 And face this that you have no control over.

13:07 I think you bring up something very powerful because there's an the two things, you know, a lot of people don't want to talk about it or don't know how to talk about it. The terminology is not yet Defiance and the data and statistics are still on their severely underreported. I think in the United States the Department of Justice in the United Nations estimates that just in the United States over 200,000 girls are at risk of FGM.

13:41 That's an astounding number.

13:44 And so when you talked about your daughter's at kind of you know, they would be ones that would be at risk if they go back. Is that something now? Do you see that? It's still being very commonly practiced obviously and supported that that practice is still very I believe that he's there. I know that is there.

14:07 But when you ask people they tell you know, we don't do this anymore.

14:13 That's why the conversation is very difficult because you know that is getting done. I went there. It's not like I'm sitting here and healing stories was done to me.

14:26 And I wind it all in 2014.

14:33 I went there only in 2014 and I know is that it is it is happening.

14:39 And for a very long time I was silenced too and I will talk about this to my children. I always talk about this to my friend not everything's about to have my best friend whose name is Elizabeth. We talked about this all the time.

14:58 But I had almost put this on this side. I know I live with this but you know life goes on. You know, I'm all set my children. I hear they're not caught. They are safe.

15:16 It all came back again when you know D, you know, my family people who love me my nephew. They name a child after me.

15:31 But then

15:33 After I expressed, you know do not cut this child do not cut her.

15:43 I couldn't save the girl. Could they went and cut her?

15:47 And we are in 2015. This was that only 5 years ago.

15:53 So who can tell me that this is not practice in Molly anymore. You can you can convince me.

16:02 When I talk to my family some of them understand now we don't do this anymore.

16:11 But some of them.

16:13 Lu's sandwiches he needs it needs to be done because its culture is our culture.

16:22 It has to be done.

16:25 If I can save somebody he can if I can save one child.

16:33 That would be good enough for me one.

16:40 Speaking out has

16:44 Quite a lot to do with opening that door of dialogue. Thanks. So I think by sharing these stories is Survivor stories. We're hearing a lot more and we just begun the conversation in this field of activism. And this is a fairly new it's it's a centriole centuries-old historically.

17:11 Spanning violation of women deeply-rooted, you know in historical cultural practices yet. We're only just beginning to talk about this.

17:27 And so I just dumb what are some of the United just what are some of your your hopes now in terms of amplifying your voice be sitting by sharing your story you're able to educate and Enlighten and raise awareness and advocacy. What are some of your hopes long-term and in an in Sharing even one story how we could reach, you know, even one girl.

17:56 One of my hope

18:03 Malachite like I said at the beginning of this is have the

18:12 The lawmakers involved in this

18:17 Because if they're not doing anything is going to be hard.

18:26 To fight this

18:30 Education

18:32 Is very important because woman

18:39 When you talk to them?

18:44 There was City they get it but yet.

18:49 The education I would say

18:52 If we can find a way to educate people.

18:57 About not only the physical pain.

19:01 Not only to physical pain because I don't remember in my cubicle pain be psychological pain. That is stays with you forever.

19:12 Ever interview.

19:18 If we can educate women and have many more men.

19:27 Man in my country, they are very passive.

19:32 They have been passive. Okay.

19:37 Yeah, this is a woman businessman. Don't do that men are not involved in this ATM is part of my conversation every single day and it's perpetuated by women. Yes. So man will tell you what one woman at once woman woman are the ones taking the children to be cut Woman by the Carters.

20:03 So you need to talk to the woman, but what about men?

20:09 White. Men stand up

20:13 Invite for the children to

20:19 We have to fight this together is it's not only woman issues. It's man and woman issues and we are all in this for the children. I tell my people this is no longer about me.

20:34 It is no longer about me.

20:39 They just don't know how long about myself it is about.

20:50 Get me to stop.

20:58 I'm so sorry.

21:09 The lawmakers need to do something make everybody understand that. This is not

21:18 Allowed anymore Molly

21:22 Because once you know that you you have a place to go you have a place to go in.

21:33 Given to file complaint or you have a number that you can call said he

21:39 This is happening. And I know it's happening.

21:43 Go check it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. If I knew that FGM is illegal in my it doesn't matter who is getting caught or who is getting the girl to go to get caught. I know that I will.

22:07 Contact somebody or I would have a place to go and have Justice for the for the child, but there's no such place.

22:18 It's up to you if you want to catch you a kid, or if you don't.

22:22 That. That's mindset need to change that mindset need to change.

22:37 In terms of

22:41 The support that you have here

22:46 Are you your best friend Elizabeth is your pillar of support and

22:53 My question really is do you see that? This practice is perhaps supported within your community care where girls are being sent back or is it more of a taboo for people to talk about this or what happens when you do bring this up? How are people responding? How is your community respond here in in the USA?

23:21 Here in the US.

23:28 Because this subject is such nobody wants to talk about is very very hard to even approach somebody and talk about ice cream. But one thing that we are doing one thing that I am doing.

23:47 Is that

23:50 I am part of a group.

23:53 Of woman we get together once a month.

24:00 And this group is FGM Focus.

24:04 We support each other we talk to each other and we educate each other.

24:10 So far

24:13 The people that I know in my community that who are part of the group they are against FGM.

24:24 I do know there are some people so who

24:30 Believe that a GM needs to be done.

24:34 But I'm not really in constant contact with people who can tell me.

24:43 We

24:45 Are supporting FTM still because people are not going to come to you and tell you.

24:52 Nicholas here is against the law.

24:55 It's against the law. So even if they're practicing they're not going to tell you, but I know that I'm open I am open for this conversation need time.

25:06 Anytime

25:10 Has huge yeah.

25:14 A little bit more about your activism. What were some things that that you worked out?

25:20 Okay.

25:25 Active activities.

25:29 With me first and my children because I had to do everything possible to protect them.

25:38 Which is you know, making sure that I don't go to my country and stay there knowing that my children are at risk to being taught. Also when I when I went to Africa years ago with I

25:55 Organized the play in the community awareness about HCM educate people out of my own pocket.

26:06 That was for me, too.

26:10 Talk about HTML educate people about FGM and also

26:19 Every time I hear

26:21 That a child is born in my country. Child is a girl.

26:27 I am on the phone.

26:29 I am on the phone every time I hear that somebody is born in the person is a good the baby's a girl. I am on the phone with your mom. I am on the phone with your father cuz you to talk to them, too.

26:41 And educate them about the effect of FGM on children and

26:49 Going to be a woman until you die. You are affected is is cut is you not going to get it back?

26:57 That's that's that's one thing I do and also the group that we have in Chicago when we get together every month and we talked about FTM I interpret.

27:12 The people who come who do not speak English and they speak my language. They speak French. I do interpretation so that we can support each other.

27:23 An educated each other

27:29 Have they shared their story? We all do. That's why the group is all about get together with Cheryl story.

27:41 And then we support each other.

27:45 Is it liberating for you? Does it Empower you when you definitely before?

27:56 Whenever like that Steve now whenever I talk about it GM I can hold it because I'm so emotional about subject.

28:07 But getting together with other women who have been through this and talk about it makes me.

28:20 Help me to cope with the situation and knowing that I'm helping out a woman.

28:32 Just by being the voice. They can't express them self. I'm here. I can do the interpretation and it it helps me to cope with the city talking about the ATM constantly makes me

28:49 Helps me to cope.

28:52 What can we do what can be done in the United States to implement protection?

28:59 And laws when you say lawmakers need to be a part of the change what can be done from our and I know I'm not even sure because when I said lawmakers need to do something

29:15 I already know that is.

29:18 Illegal here. I'm talking about back home.

29:22 Play my country.

29:26 Here in the United State. I don't know what can be done. But I do know education in yourself.

29:34 Is very important. How do you educate women and even people who are coming?

29:43 Who are the new in the United State ID you get them?

29:47 To understand that this is you can practice over here not on you don't practice over here. You not to text you or children outside of the US that man.

30:02 And that's where the source of the problem is why 200,000 girls are continuously at-risk internationally.

30:13 My Hope Is that

30:18 Lawmakers in my country

30:22 Do something.

30:25 Do something about saving our girls is no longer about me cardi talking right now because I'm already caught.

30:35 Is about the girls who are being born right now and dabbing cut every single day and everybody is in denial. We don't do this anymore. Yes, they do because I know I went there last year, and I know they do.

30:58 Mother's could you share this specific moment. You can think of when you called her mother that stands out. Yes.

31:10 Instant the girl who?

31:14 They named after me Scotch. Oh, you know when a little girl is born. We always find you know, somebody that you love and you name the person at the doctor's son. This is my little niece that named her after me. It's an honor.

31:31 Except that cutting that's not near me.

31:36 So when?

31:38 When they announced that the child is going to be named after me.

31:44 That's when

31:47 You know everything came back to me about if Jim. Oh my goodness. They are going to cut this girl. Let me call place a call and see if I can save her.

31:58 I called the father which is my nephew a quote him talk to him about FGM.

32:06 Do not get the girl.

32:09 Then I talked to the girl's mom.

32:14 Both of them said is needs to be done.

32:18 Why I asked they have no one to trust me. They have no answer. It's needs to be done. Just because

32:29 It is not in my family that has been always done in my family needs to be done.

32:36 That's only one example. I'm giving

32:39 But I have been calling.

32:42 Many many times

32:45 If the baby is a girl do not cut her when I went in 2014 when I went last year. They they worry baby my family little baby. She's my little niece to

32:57 And I talked to the baby's mom. I talked to my sister.

33:02 Do not cut the baby.

33:07 All the time

33:10 They have no answer for you lot of them will tell you we understand my daddy.

33:16 When it goes back in the yeah, but be specific.

33:22 When this is all done.

33:25 I really want my people to listen to hear this story and listen to this and to understand that.

33:34 I'm not talking about me anymore.

33:37 I'm trying to save.

33:39 The babies who are being born right now.

33:45 How are you? How how are you going to name a child after me and I'm telling you it's not an honor for me to

33:54 To name a child after me any child that it only one that I I loved before she was even born because I know this is my niece.

34:07 Yeah, I am. I think that you're a voice in your story is definitely one that's very profound and that can be shared, you know, hopefully to initiate change even for to save one girl even one girl because once you say one you have saved many and many and many other girls that cycle and that pattern of the form of

34:36 Severe violence against women it within your own Generation by not having your daughter Scott and by protecting them and that's where your activism began as a mother to protect your children.

34:51 Protect my children, but then when you think you've done.

34:58 You are not done yet because life is not only about you and about your children. I am very very thankful that my children are saved, but you know that

35:12 If continue to be done to other girls is very very painful. Very painful.

35:20 You sure moment when you have convinced the mother.

35:24 What did you say? Can you share a moment when you have convinced the mother not to conduct a few?

35:31 I know. That's the hardest part that is when.

35:37 This story is so important because I'm not able to convince them.

35:43 I am not able to convince them.

35:48 That is the hardest part.

35:52 You can convince them.

35:56 If I could convince somebody.

35:59 If I could convince somebody it would have been my own nephew because I know he loves me.

36:10 Convert m

36:13 How that feel for you when?

36:16 When your nephew wouldn't

36:19 Listen to a cry for a week. I'm still crying.

36:24 I am still quite do you feel guilty?

36:30 No.

36:32 No, not painful it just pay for it because I don't know what they're doing to this kid.

36:45 There's

36:48 Your voice still counts those even even if you think that it.

36:56 Activism is never in it's never an easy job. But you're trying to do here is your trying to break a pattern and you're setting an example by showing and just simply by sharing your story. I think is a powerful tool for you to you know,

37:16 Reach out to maybe somebody listening to the story can can.

37:22 Maybe it will stop and save one girl. So I think back to that question hat has year activism saved a girl. I think that actually it's this may be the beginning.

37:36 I hope I I I really hope that this is the beginning because it's hard to say people that don't get it.

37:46 I want to thank you for sharing your story today with us Cudi.

37:58 Are you willing to share the story of your sister?

38:06 That's dumb.

38:08 The little

38:10 Step forward it took a long time.

38:14 I don't know if yeah, yeah. Yeah one of my sisters we are very very many in the family. Like I said, I am from getting large family. My father had four wives to have plenty of sisters and brothers and one of my sisters. This was a long time ago, maybe 15 16 17 years ago. I went to my country and my sister had just had a baby one of my sister said baby girl.

38:53 And down.

39:01 I'm sorry so much. So I talked to do my sister I said

39:08 Do not cut your girl.

39:10 I know you did not circumcise your girl. She told me yes, I walked.

39:18 But then you know life goes on in life when I came here. I continue with my life.

39:25 Is when I went again in 2014.

39:31 We talked about ATM again.

39:35 That's when my sister said, you know when you came here years ago, and you told me

39:44 Not to cut my girl and I told you I won't but I actually did.

39:51 And then I said, why did you do that? And she said because I thought you were lost. I thought you you stay too long.

40:02 Else outside of our country with white people. She said I thought you were lost. So I

40:13 That I did that my girl.

40:16 But she sure so say that town.

40:20 That she's the only one because I regret it later.

40:25 After after I cut her I regret.

40:29 But I don't think happened in the family.

40:34 Impacted them and they decided to stop cutting girl. She said I do not cut my girls anymore. Girl. What's the one in I'm done with it.

40:52 Well, and he comes with trust because the person that you talkin with if this person doesn't trust you, they don't understand that. I trust the person.

41:05 Wow.

41:12 I feel like this was just the tip of the iceberg. I just scratched. Yeah.

41:19 Thank you so much for sharing your story.

41:22 You welcome.

41:25 Anytime

41:28 Thank you for having me.