Jason Kirchick and Terese Daigle

00:02 My name is Terese Daigle. I am 50 years. Now. I'm not 50. Excuse me, if we cut that I can remember. Hello. My name is Terese Daigle. I am 52 years old. Today's date is September 25th, 2014. We are in Burlington Vermont and I am Jason's nurse.

00:27 A my name is Jason kirchick. I'm 33 years old and today's date is September 25th, 2014 and we're at the Fletcher Allen Hospital in Burlington Vermont and I was traces patient in the ICU.

00:45 So I just want to give a little brief background about Jason story if that's okay Jason became my patient in the NICU after coming down with the H1N1 influenza virus. He was in our hospital for 60 days and a critical carrier for 60 days. And then in Fletcher Allen rehab for 30 days a large part of the time he was in our NICU he was fighting for his life and I was there for a good part of it along with a lot of other nurses and along with a great NICU team.

01:26 And what I wanted to ask you Jason is do you remember the first day that you arrived at Fletcher Allen? I beg you remember getting into the ambulance cuz I was transferred from Copley Hospital and I remember getting into the ambulance but truly that's the last recollection. I have the only next thing I remember is waking up in the McHugh after being in an induced coma for almost two months, which is an unbelievable fact in itself because most people do not stay in a drug-induced coma for the better part of 50 days. I'm retired patients in hospital interrupt Nick you like Jason with influenza, but none of them stayed.

02:14 Sick as long as you did either they got better or Unfortunately they did and then they passed but Jason stayed with us for 60 days and really thought the fight of his life Against All Odds and I brought this excerpt because Jason's partner Christian.

02:34 Had such a hard time updating. All Jason's friends and family because hundreds and hundreds of people were worried about you. Jay said that's just a testament of what a great guy. You and Christian both are that Christian actually created this Facebook page called Jason kicking H1N1 so people could find out how you were doing. And so basically Christian wouldn't have it to exhaust himself every night trying to get back to everybody. And this was the day when you came to Fletcher around you mind if I read a Chase from Christian February 2nd, Jason was transported via ambulance from Copley to Fletcher Allen care in Burlington. He was quickly sedated intubated and put on power lid paralytics to allow his body to concentrate oxygen to his organs within a day in room dialysis was deemed necessary to do the job his kidneys normally would

03:28 Blood pressure medications that kept blood pressure at a healthy level were employed in a few days time. The diagnosis came in case it had contracted H1N1 influenza a potentially deadly infection which being viral does not respond to antibiotics. He had. He had not gotten a flu shot his flu led to pneumonia adult respiratory distress syndrome and septic shock.

03:55 And that pretty much I mean sums up the course of your hospitalization.

04:03 When I walked in the room for the first day after I got the report.

04:08 I kind of had a step back for a second here. I saw this beautiful young strapping man. Otherwise healthy attached to

04:18 Every type of machine that modern medicine could afford to offer you at this time. And as a critical care nurse, it was overwhelming. It was truly overwhelming. I had to be like, okay.

04:31 And like I told you before we laughed about it was almost the Olympics of critical-care game on this boy is not going to succumb to H1N1 on my watch and I know that I speak for the whole multidisciplinary team that took care of you. We all have that fight in it for for you Jason.

04:53 You had multi organ failure your lungs failed your kidneys failed your cardiovascular system was collapsing you needed medication to support your blood pressure. That's three systems down number three systems down the likelihood of survival is so low. It really is low and

05:14 Despite all of that you happen to survive and amazingly survive not just survive.

05:24 In a way that we thought that you would have major major disabilities the outcome of your survival has been remarkable and short of miraculous for everyone. Tell me how you feel about that. Well for me one of the you know going back to when you said, you know, when you first saw me and describing all of those multi-system failure,

05:50 Having been in a coma during that time. I thought is what was the team thinking during that time? Were there a lot of doctors involved? And what was the approach to care at that point that first week there were tons and tons of doctors. I mean you had the pulmonary team you had the NICU teen the medical intensive care team you had neurologist you had infectious disease doctors you had PT you had OT you had

06:22 Any given day Jason there might have been Thirty doctors that came into your room. Not just once or twice that came through your room on different times and different hours of the day. I mean 30 different kinds of doctors different teams of doctors, you know, they would prance in with 10 doctors at one time and just go over your case there really was not one stone that was not turned over for you.

06:48 It's amazing to think about and you know, I think about my family and my community that had come out.

06:56 One of the things you mentioned is that it's a very unusual for people to be in an induced coma especially for that. Of time.

07:04 I'm wondering in your experience as a nurse what made that case different for you and even the team I think it was because you had you were sick for so long and that you really weren't showing signs of getting better. And you really at one point weren't showing signs of getting worse. You kind of were in a holding pattern. We're kind of stuck almost in this vicious cycle of what are we going to do to get him out of this vicious cycle? Because we would kind of you were on a level of medication that I've never seen in my career.

07:37 To keep your lungs from you cuz you were strong you're trying to fight the ventilator you were on a paralytic you were on massive doses of medications that we had to try to wean. So you can wake up to see what your functional status would be like, but every time we tried to even tweet that down for you know, we might have gone from 5 to 4 mg medication and boom forget it we couldn't do it. So we had weeks like that just making little little tweaks really really made the difference in you didn't improve

08:14 We employed a strategy called proning. I'm sure you heard about that. And then I remember the day we had to do that. That was a scary day. Dr. Farkas brilliant talk to phorcas made us watch a video about how we were going to systematically do this for you because I thought point you were failing fast. Your oxygen level was plummeting and if we didn't do something then you could have died that day that moment so we click Lee watched it. We haven't done it in a while. We haven't really employed that therapy a lot in our unit.

08:48 And we got about 10 people in the room and we

08:52 You are on your back and 10 people flipped you on your belly while you are attached to every two and pump in dialysis machine and it was not an easy task. But you know, it's just a medically did it after a couple of minutes in Iraq, since I was 7 day we would look at the monitor 75 couple minutes later 80 and we got your oxygen level up to like 88 what's was great, because before I made it was going down and it was going down fast and I just remember we all step back in the bed. So we went by he made it but was but what the funny part not funny part about it was that we knew and 18 hours. We were going to have to flip you back.

09:40 And for 20 days that was your therapy for 20 solid days, we would put you on your belly and for 18 hours and then flipped you back after 6 hours and at any given time during any one of those flips if any one of those things if any one of your catheter is your ET tube your lines that supported your blood pressure if any of those got dislodged, I mean you could have died really that's how tenuous and serious your care at that point was and I think that sort of Legion to another question I have which is too full.

10:17 You know thinking back.

10:20 What were

10:22 Some of the scariest moments that the team experienced and what were some of the great experiences that the team experience.

10:34 Well, I can tell you about the scariest for from me that whole Froning the first time from when he was pretty scary for me because none of us knew what to expect and your oxygen level was dropping so fast that we kind of had to mobilize the team rather quickly. So that was kind of a difficult moment for us. Another difficult moment was when you had your bedside tracheostomy again, we had to do it that day and get a purity of time during a tracheostomy with your blood pressure went really high and everyone was scrambling around to get the blood pressure down really quickly. I remember even yelling in the procedure and say

11:15 Everybody look because we got to get this today in a we got to get this blood pressure down and we were running to the Pyxis and we were pushing meds and push your meds. And we finally got your blood pressure down, but that was a tense moment for for me as your nurse.

11:31 One of the greatest moments I can say is when your brother came to visit it was the day before it was the day after I actually thought Josh Farkas prepared Christian that you might be that dependent for the rest of your life and we were really trying to Grapple with that. We were trying to Grapple with that and I remember Sandy Christian, you know what Christian we can be sad today, but honestly, I feel that there's something about Jason that we're going to get him off this ventilator. But let's just try to absorb it today and move on. Your brother came in the room. It was a beautiful Friday night. I had moved you from that room. You're in 17 where there was a view of the brick wall at 10:19, which is like the writs of the nephew. He could see the mountains you could see the lake the sun was setting

12:27 Your brother and Christian are in the room and a hore player happened to come by the NICU and I'm like what a beautiful moment. I asked the harp player to go in your room. He started playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

12:43 The sun was setting and you opened your eyes you open your eyes for the first time and Christian. Saw that.

12:51 And I tears welled up in my eyes and all of our eyes because I thought that if you don't make it out of here Jason Christian had this both beautiful and he saw your eyes open because we didn't know if that was going to be the last time that he would have seen you with your eyes open, but obviously now we know that it wasn't but at that point that's what was going through my head at the time. So that's why it was such a a peaceful and Serene feeling when the hearing that story, you know, obviously remembering waking up what's amazing to me about that story is that

13:34 Well through the process when the amazing things my partner did in my friends did for my community will put up pictures, you know of me, you know as an EMT As A Firefighter as an active person in my community as a funny guy as a singer and I remember for some reason my concert posters that were opposed to just for some reason really touched a lot of people they don't get that photo and see this, you know grabbing dinner and music was such a big part of my life and somewhere over the rainbow is actually one of the first songs I had ever song and one of my Studios as a tenor as a singer when I went to college so that just exploded for me and what exploded for me even more is it was one of the first songs I performed at the State House in Boston, Massachusetts. I was a liaison for you.

14:34 Congresswoman at that time and I had a harp accompanist and I had to do this I had to do the same Patrick's Day performance in front of the grand staircase at the on Beacon Hill and I remember having that part player and we were doing a dedication to a congressman who have passed away. And of course, he was Irish. So it's on you no feeling that was on Saint Patrick's Day. And that was one of the songs that you know, I just touch with and all my friends just love to hear me perform. So for me, it's

15:11 I think it speaks to the spirit not only to the body into everything else that was going on, but it was powerful for me because you know so many times we think about people in comas do they hear do they feel and I think I shared with you. I had a lot of dreams. I don't know at what point I was having those dreams but it seemed like so much of what I was dreaming was in some sense happening at the same time. And so, you know, it just speaks to the power of speaking to the patient and you know, really understanding that they do have some level of awareness. Well some of them but you know this some of their nightmares, I mean, I had a lot of nightmares that probably was due to the amount of medication that we had to give you what we had to I know at one point there was a

16:11 The team had a mean ketamine. Sorry, it was given to me and you know, that's the kind of wean a person off of some of the heavy set. I said they were on and so some people say a lot of time does people are coming through some of that. That's when they'll start to have some awareness of you know, something a lot of them were, you know, my my husband, you know, trying to find my husband he would appear for short instances within the dreams and and then he would disappear and it was like, I was in some country in Asia like China or Japan and they were making microchips in these microchips were going into people and it was that you know, all of these things were going on and Christian was behind the background somewhere and I could never get to him

17:02 Other times in the dream he would talk to me and say you know, what? Don't worry. Everything's going to be wonderful. We're going to have a big new home and you know, he was actually preparing to move you to a new apartment, right? I found that out later. So how amazing that that was happening. Another setting was I was I remember I was on this flight Russian, that's all this yacht and there were these gangsters and there were people coming in off of you know, Rafters and boats and they were prostitutes and it was just a very distorted, you know type of thing and then another one. I think I share with you was that you know, I was in this like dark room and they were torturing people with probes, you know, one of them. I remember I had this huge ulcer on my my bottom side and that was you know, it was inevitable. It was going to happen for the length of time. I was in a bit.

18:02 But I remember dreaming that in the pain that the other people were going through not so much that I was actually going through but it was just something that was there and how amazing to find out obviously once I woke up that all these things were going on that they had to prep that area. We did a bad side eye doctor lightning came in plastic surgery and basically how to ligate that area and right at the bedside and that's something that they sometimes we do in the operating room, but you were so unstable really that we couldn't even move you mean four days really it meant that if we moved your body you could die. I remember picking up your arm off the bed.

18:40 5

18:42 You know, I thought and your oxygen level would go from 90 to 70 just by moving in arm. I mean that how

18:54 Unstable and 10 you wish you were and again it wasn't just for a week wasn't just for two weeks. It was for 50 days. And is there any explanation for that? Why does a patient just being touched just a little bit it make them oxygenate so much differently. Just by moving and arm.

19:18 That that happened to you like you wouldn't expect that and then sometimes when we had a major movie would be ready for the big guns and then you would do okay with it more like well, we could be the distribution of blood flow. Sure. Maybe I'm not sure I could have been incidents that you were Brewing something that you had a weird likely had yet sure but we were always prepared. We were always prepared and whatever we moved you. I always had back up. I was had a back-up plan. There was always a lot of doctors and nurses around and I said we're moving him now you guys stay right there in case we need you.

19:53 For the first big move that we had more people than ever in the room. And then after we got comfortable with that, we had it down to a science and it would only be like six people at a time it is like, whoa, we're getting good at tests, you know, and every time we start to feel a little, you know comfortable I said, we used to talk and ice inside out can be getting cocky now about these terms because I'm doing good and never doubly It Go on your rocky road again. So there was never a a. Of time where we really got comfortable that you were going to be. Okay, honestly for the team, I mean I passed my family and friends does he know it was so stressful for them to finally they might see some light at the end of the tunnel and then I'd come crashing back down and

20:42 I can't understand why my system was doing that. But I mean that had to have been so draining on the team. It was it was and it was because

20:56 It was raining on Christian and it meant to us that you were not getting better and we were beginning to take in a person I leave you really were we fought as hard as anybody has any people could have fought for anything. We were fighting for your life just like you were and it was a personal defeat when you weren't doing well and it was really hard. I mean we're human and here's a case that became more of a case to watch were human being and we got to know Christian like he was our own everybody on in the NICU as well as the greater part of Fletcher Allen took him under and I really want to talk about Christian because he just was by my side everyday. I mean, I thank my lucky stars. I don't think I could have found a better partner to share this life with but I really want to talk about him. You know, what did he mean to the team and what was his role and what made him different than some of the other families that come into?

21:56 The ICU can hands down tell you that Christian say his last name for me. I didn't want to butcher. It was the most amazing family member today that I have ever dealt with in the ICU and I am not just saying that I've told you that before there were days when you were literally dying literally dying and most patient families would be like understandably overwhelmed stressed on the you know, you know, trying to jump in the room trying to get every bit of information kind of sucking the resources from the healthcare providers when really the resource is needed to be

22:37 Pointed to the patient who was dying at that time and that's hard for family members to separate that out. I guess that because their loved one is dying. They don't know how to cope.

22:49 Christian would leave the wrong leave the room just I would lock and he just like skedaddle out of the room and I would be thinking to myself. Oh my God. I never really truly understood that till finally one day. I said Christian when Jason was at his worst and you left the room. Why did you do that? And he said I trusted you hands down trusted you and he said I did not want any bit of attention.

23:19 DMV near to me because I wanted every single person's eyes on Jason and I didn't want any distracted distraction. And if that included me then I knew that if something happened to raise you would come right out and get bit. But the trust that he employed and gave to us was trust that I have never felt from of a family member like that. I mean he would go to work he had to and come back and he knew that I had his phone. I actually had his phone number in my own personal phone so I could just text him boom get up here right now. And I mean, that's how it work for many days, but that always impressed me that

24:02 I never saw him break down. We might have cried in the room maybe once or twice throughout the whole thing for which I would expect much more of an emotional appeal. He's considered everything that he went through. I got to know you through him and that was an amazing experience because he told me so many stories about you and he stick out and eat tell me that you definitely organize one and he he is not and he was mad at you. He was got mad because you were not doing well one day and it came in the room and he said,

24:42 Jason stockley with the bills cuz you always have a systematic way of doing it. He said Jason's going to hate this he ripped the check right in the middle of the checkbook and wrote the check out just as a defiant move to say damn it get better Jason. I'm stuck with this should get a few better get back and do this for me, but we laughed we laughed about that and you also said,

25:04 Jason can kill me because I'm driving his car what you never let him drive the car before you came into my room. Will they your go your ass. I just dented your car. What are you going to do about it? All of us not just met a lot of the other nurses took care of you Yvonne. I have to mention Brian Mail there so many people got that connection with him because he was just amazing. You could not I mean the first day I met him I felt like he was my little brother there really was a man or about him that you don't get from everybody else. He's a type of person. I always felt that's very, you know, you feel comfortable right away and he knows how to use humor to make people feel comfortable. I'm curious to

26:03 What was the team thinking of us as a couple? I mean, where were there a lot of stories shared of us as a couple and kind of what that Bond was it all Christian told me the story of how bad did you work and I communicated that a lot to the other nurses and that kind of trickle-down as the pictures went up in as Christian told me the stories of when you were in that chef's hat in the and just kind of what each picture meant to your life together until I eventually began to communicate to the other nurses and when doctors would come in and you know, some of them would look at you and I'm like look, this is Jason look at him. He was a singer. This is his picture when he was doing the concert for Hunger right in Stow. So Christian help me Christian help me really get to know you and then in turn

27:03 The word about you and the goodness that you brought your community sure, you know, one of the things I also do want to touch on I think is once I woke up because I feel that there was such a long. Of time that I was down and Gina wanted to kind of share some of that, you know, so you have an idea of what that was and

27:25 It's funny. I remember one of the first memories being I was in a wheelchair and people were talking to me and I leaned in I think the Christian or to someone and they said Jason what is it? What do you want? And I said

27:39 I want a Pepsi I had all these tubes and everything else in my mouth was so dry and all I wanted was this busy Cole episodes and then of course, I got the Pepsi and I hate that I think I got one and I remember saying something like that's better than sex. Ironically one of the flight attendants. I used to work with brother in a Pepsi from the beverage car off JetBlue play. Are you going on like I certainly remember working with rehab Bryan Bryan William? Oh my God, he

28:22 Is an amazing physical therapist not only the way he treats patients, but the way his humor his Drive. I mean, he really really with an integral part with him. Really truly. I I remember being so weak and I remember I had that brachial plexopathy. So my left arm wasn't moving at all. I think at one point I thought I had a stroke turned about that and we were happy to know that it's not that it was just by the brachial plexus injury is a lot better than a stroke as far as you know the symptoms and the ability to recover from that. So he's he appears to me in such a strong, you know, man who is smaller than me and just to be able to get my body up out of that bed. It was touch-and-go it was just what you going to do. Is it going to fall over is he going to walk and that feeling of exhaustion it was overwhelming?

29:18 When I realize how many people from my community had come out I was overwhelmed. I just I didn't feel worthy of that type of of that type of attention. I just like to do those small little Deeds that make a difference in people's lives and I don't want recognition for that. I just feel that pain at Ford and some way and one of those little D that you did for me that I will never forget is being in that bed. My brother have been in there and I had to you know, I couldn't go to the bathroom so I could only go to the bathroom in the bed. I was at week and I just it was a struggle and you had come in and I remember you doing that whole setup to wash my hair and that was probably one of the best feeling I've had in that ICU was just that connection that I had someone there you're completely vulnerable. You have to let everything go and be humble and that that really touched me. You know that

30:18 You know someone care that much to to care about my care and my family and I just wanted you to know that I'll always keep that memory tossed away there in the back and it's just one of those little things that you don't think Jason make a difference, you know, but it certainly does and all the nurses. I mean even going to Fanny Allen rehab, you know, there was one knows I was able to sort of connect with their that just push me when I didn't want to be pushed, you know, because they work you, you know every day for four to six hours and sometimes you just yeah, it's the most difficult job I've ever had

30:56 Remember the moment you woke up.

30:59 Like I said, I Begley remember being in a wheelchair for some reason and you know people gathered around me, you know looking at me. I was a fog and just really pretty much getting like all the nurses were like being around him. But the funny thing was you mentally still weren't quite there. You were Delirious still but you were awake and those delirium you left you left Fletcher Allen still being delirious and not really being a neurologically totally intact and that was an area of actual concern for me because the day you left Fletcher Allen to rehab I was at I was in Portland Maine at a critical care conference, and I knew the timing was horrible.

31:50 And Christian allowed to Tulum is taking care of you that day the day he left around 1 and allowed her to text me a picture of you on the stretcher. So I'm at this conference in Portland on septic shock go figure and I have blue as my text and trying to pay attention and I look and I see you on the stretcher like this with your thumbs up and you thought you would think that I would be elated. So happy, you know what my first initial feeling when I saw the picture was oh my God, he's not ready. What it what if they can't take care of him as good as he took care of him over here. Oh my God, what if something happens in the middle of the night? It was definitely more of a maternal thing coming out then a professional one, but that's why I felt I really felt like I hope everything goes smoothly there. I hope Christian and you get the proper transition there, but that's enough was unbelievable.

32:50 I remember it, you know fairly well and the lot the whole Corridor was filled with the doctors and nurses IND rehabs, you know the housekeepers, you know all lined up and just applauding my send off and you know, and I remember feeling so overwhelmed and in fact a very close friend of mine Patty Wolfe who was the director of fact at that time had actually arranged it to prepare my transport Over The Fanny Allen and it was just such a big to do it was just like a parade in the middle of those corridors and it was so overwhelming story was out there. I'm just a reporter had reported it the Fletcher Allen Community was getting wind of it other communities. Everyone was pulling for you Jason. It wasn't just

33:37 Within our organization it was getting out there such a big story. I mean, I think you remember WCAX did that hold you know, really trying to get the message out there about the flu shot. You know that I hadn't had my flu shot and really becoming an advocate and communities to try to do that to even to the point of thinking of a non-profit of a way to be no assist patients and their families, you know of medical illness and Trauma and you know, trying to get a message out to keep your hands clean. Do you know when and get your shot because so many people ask me, you know, where did you get it and then when I talk to a person I cough on you you touch a doorknob you touch your money. It's not one of those things that is just you know, you did on purpose or anything anymore was something building in your body. It's just one of those things then I understand there were some studies that were being talked about in there was some bacteria are they

34:37 I hadn't been seen in Vermont before. Is there anything you remember about that in Vermont? And it was because you were on a medication and you became resistant to it and I did write it here because I thought maybe you would say it yet here. We got it carbapenem-resistant enterobacteriaceae. So Jason contracted the first case in the state of Vermont, but later learning that it wasn't the bad kind. It was a kind that really we could contain but they were protocols to contain it at first and dumb as a result of your story. I'd like to say that a lot of changes in the way we do things. I'm having merged. We initiated a new proning protocol. So the next person that comes down the pike. Jason will be more proactive and they'll be on her stomach before we hit the word go on them. Thanks to you. We are you no talk.

35:37 Sally has from infectious diseases. How could we have done that cigar anything a little better? It was a new thing. We had put surveillance people outside the room to ensure that there were washing their hands when they were in the room watching their hands when they were coming out of the room only letting essential employees go in the room. I'm keeping visitors to a minimum. I mean your case sparked a lot of interest and I think a lot of great changes has to have come as a result of everything that you wouldn't dorge and will the great with a great way though for to change protocols and hopefully Pay It Forward because you know, I read about a lot of men younger than me who died from the illness and what was amazing is when Christian created that you know, kicking H1N1 page. It was unbelievable that people across the United States were chiming in and

36:37 They were almost they were following it because they were going through it themselves at that time. And this one woman reached out to me and she was reading about some of the protocol they were using to help save my life and her husband had died and she said I never heard about these protocols. None of these were used for my husband and I don't remember feeling wow. Can you imagine being that loved one saying? Well if they had done this for my love poem what they have survived, you know, why didn't my doctors and nurses know about this and that was horrible for me I have to say because it it's almost as though I don't want to say you feel guilty for surviving because I mean, you know what? I don't really feel that's it, but I certainly felt that you had maybe they didn't I you know, I will forever feel thankful to Fletcher Allen for have saved my life. I will mention one thing when you said that because

37:37 One of the infectious disease doctors had spent he told me the story. He's spent a whole day on the phone with the FDA trying to get a compassionate use of the drugs and I'm a VR, which is an IV form of Tamiflu that you weren't responding to the Tamiflu and it wasn't a matter of if he was going to do it was a matter of when and when we were getting that truck for you and we got that drug for you. So I mean every person really

38:08 Please rewind 5 and Beyond cuz we wanted to in that it wasn't just our job. I mean we were in The Fight 2 with you Jason and I said bye. This guy is not going to succumb on my watch. I mean there were there were days when I went home.

38:25 And I would get in my house and I would just go right to my room and say hi to my husband. I put my feet up and I was scared that when I came back the next morning that you wouldn't be there. That was a real fear for me for a couple of couple of weeks. They're not that was.

38:42 Scary, you know, and I remember telling one of the nurses if something happens to Jason during the night and I come in the morning. Please call me because I don't know if I'm going to be able to find that for myself. I need some notice if that happened. I need to prepare myself and I don't want to find out on my own. You know what I mean? I know that sounds silly maybe but no no.

39:05 A connection and a closeness there that I really I haven't had that nurse-patient connection like that ever my career and how long have you been a nurse 28 years 28 years. I mean there are patients. Of course that get under your skin more than others in a good way. But your case was special. It really was like I fell.

39:32 Personally and professionally moved by the whole story. I felt that.

39:39 At one point. I know I told you this and we laugh about it that some higher power was helping me try John and helping me unturned all these Stones. I mean the medical team really we're getting sick of me.

39:52 Do you know the doctors if they see me, then look down aisle God what does she want now and it might have been something stupid to them though. Not stupid but something I get a shot or annuity but to you it wasn't or to me. It wasn't and then it was like okay to raise I got I got him and we laughed I I mean I dragged hundreds of doctors in there on a weekly basis to look at this. Does this seem right to you? And they were like, no, you're right. Let's do this are now it's okay to race. It's fine.

40:27 Make you feel about like yeah. Well, I mean I'm touched that I had such an incredible Advocate, you know, I will forever be touched by the connection that erase and I have had and as well as the other medical team, I think what makes our relationship so special is that you know, number one. You don't typically have an ersatz with you for such a long extended. Of time. You got to know my family. They got to know you and I think that it was the combination of such hard dedicated work that made me survived. So that will always be something that will stay with me and stay close to my heart and I'm you know, some people would look at my experience as a nightmare, but I look at it as something that has changed my life and has made me want to go into nursing, you know, I made a conscious decision that I want to somehow repay that type of experience forward to someone else.

41:28 You know and it doesn't mean that I'm going to go my whole life searching for that type of connection. But even if it's something just as simple as feeding someone or cleaning them, you know, I'll remember that day. You washed my hair on what that meant to me and it's those little things those little Deeds that you do for a person that can just brighten up their whole day and it makes you want to live it makes you want to be healthy and makes you want to just be a good person and not take for granted the life that you're given because it can go at any time and I remember my husband telling me your whole life Jason. I remember you always saying life is so short life is so short and he said I don't know the moment that you were so sick. I thought did he have a premonition that you know, he was going to die or then that was going to happen, but I just have learned through life that it can be very short having been in EMS work. You see how you people can do.

42:28 Fire gets sick. It's a part of life. But you know you really have to appreciate every day that you're given.

42:35 So these relationships are they built here? And especially with you I think will lead us both down the road and we'll always remember in some way certain things will happen and you'll just go back to that time and it will be powerful impactful someway it remains powerful to me and I also want to say that for me personally you changed me in ways Jason that you've enriched my life.

43:06 I become a better nurse site. I feel as a result of your story. I've become a better Communicator not so much in words even knowing when just to look at a person and now when not to say something and I could be as powerful as the spoken word.

43:26 We've learned so much.

43:29 To help out the people from your case. We talked about the protocols. It's just been an enriching life-changing experience for me as well. And I needed that energizing type of moment in my career. You know, I've been a nurse for 28 years. Then the likes of Jason has not come across, you know my hands and I was proud to be a part of every aspect of your care. I was proud to be a part of the Great nicotine the great Fletcher Allen team. I have to mention dr. Farkas. Dr. Klauser Gil Allen the director of the ICU Karen rounds or manager Christian Chisholm Brian Roy of on Mac, you know, all those people and hundreds of more that really

44:21 Really was apart not just me was a part of your story and they feel the connection as well. Not as strong obviously, but they all they all felt it firmly believe from somewhere or something things do happen for a reason. I don't get it yet.

44:43 This type of this type of case just doesn't happen for a reason, you know not for some type of reason it has to be and I haven't connected all of that. You know, I think it's still happening and I think it's going to continue on and maybe someday when I'm old and in a wheelchair all together, I don't know but it's just it's just touched so many people and I think you both of us have said, you know, we don't do things for the recognition. We don't do things cuz we were uncomfortable right? You just go about your work in your life because that's what you're there to do. But when you piece everything together all these doctors all these scientists all of the FDA everyone involved, I mean, it just trickles down to hundreds of thousands of people, you know, I think I'm taking H1N1 page in the Facebook and all the followers and the doctors. It's just humility of it all really for me.

45:43 Astounding and it was intimidating to be part of the team to be in the likes of such great minds. I was like, you know how to step back but I mean eat individual contribution made up the Greater good you Jason the whole and I think that's what really really got you to where you are today a piece of it the rest of it but I think your strength the support of your family Christian the outpouring of love and prayer from from your community. I think all of that really help get you to a point that in my mind really I didn't think we could get you there. I pray that we could and it's a miracle it's really is and I know that sounds cliche but really I mean the odds were so stacked against you and not just for a day not just for an hour, but for months and you know, it was crazy. It really was and you know, I do.

46:43 Like you said

46:45 You know you made it for a reason and restoring to figure out what that is, you know flu season is upon us and I'd like to say that the flu does not describe does not describe. How come I can't say that word. No one wants your story to be theirs and I'll tell you get the flu shot Don't Be Afraid not to get the flu shot. You know, when you when you know, Christian got the flu shot and he had some he started to get sick and his symptoms didn't last obviously as lawn 72 hours. Maybe he was over it. But you know, he did stop and think, you know, did I cuz he got sick around the same time I did and he said could I you know, if I didn't get my flu shot, could I have been as sick and you know, when I I think going back to how this whole story is impacted people.

47:38 Each and every day at continues to to leave a droplet of some type of repercussion from that, you know, and even myself right now, I struggle everyday, you know, I've been diagnosed with PTSD dealing with that and the nightmares and trying to get my sleeping pattern better trying to get stronger to be at my Baseline get my lungs stronger, you know, will I ever be able to be a firefighter again to be a firefighter takes extreme copious amounts of physicality and you need your breathing to be top-notch. I may not be able to do that again, you know, when I've had to come with term that there may be certain things. I mean never be able to do it again, but there are a ton of things I can do and those are the things that I look at because my glass is half-full not have empty. Do there are a million things as I'm sitting here and talking that can be impactful and it's those things that you try to con.

48:38 Trayon on a day-to-day basis. It doesn't mean I don't have my card days that there are days. I don't want to get out of bed. And I don't just want to pull the covers over my head and say why the hell did this have to happen and I blame myself for a long time too. When you see what it's done to your family to your marriage into everything else. All those wonderful stories are they are there is still a piece that drains you and like you said, you know, just getting that one shot to prevent you from going through my story get the shot. It's there for a reason and there's a great on the cdc.gov is a great website to go to if anybody has any reservations about getting the flu shot.

49:23 River at a time for this opportunity. I'm glad that we were able to get together again any chance that we have to get together and I would just finish up with just saying thank you to the entire Fletcher Allen team. I really want them to know I will always owe them a debt of gratitude for saving my life and I will do whatever I can in my power to make those little changes to impact people's lives for the better for the thanks that my life was spared.

49:59 Wanted to write thank you. You know I Darryl e l

50:03 Jason and I told you this before.

50:07 There is no thanks that you have to give to me because you have given me back so much more in return really this unexpected lifelong friendship. I want to thank you for allowing me to be part of the story and allowing me to become more of a Advocate and activist for getting people out there to get their flu shots, you know, I've been more involved in my son's school. My son's Cub Scout dance about you know, the importance of getting the flu shots and what it can happen to you. If you don't get them so below our story isn't over and we'll be together again. So and to that I will truly agree. All right.