Darwin Peters and Mike McGarry

00:02 Yeah, my name is Mike McGarry. I'm 30 years old and it's October 14th, 2011, Milwaukee, Wisconsin to my friend and former coworker Darwin Peters. Hello. I'm Darwin Peters. I am 26 today's date is October 14th, 2011. We are in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I've been working with Mike McGarry for 3 years now a lot not at the same school, but now different school at the still still one of his best mates. So I met Darwin.

00:42 Actually, I believe at teacher new teacher orientation, which is a 3-day.

00:50 I have a seminar for new teachers wear your kind of taught how to do things those first couple days in the long run it became I think it was a little bit worthless need to learn some new things, but I got to meet meet Darwin. He was in my first group randomly Darwin. I got to meet Darwin and he was in my first group randomly guard. Jesse's me you were in my first group Darwin and remember you didn't know what your placement was yet and I knew where I was and I wasn't like super happy about it was just like, all right. I meant this MAA I would stands for Milwaukee African-American immersion diamond and I was telling you about it. And then I'm Day to you got the car in the middle of lunch. I think you got the call that you going to be at the same school with me and I was like, all right. I think I can hang out with this guy. I wear with us another another person. Who was El Sol place at our school and

01:50 He and he didn't impress me as much as Darwin down the road and then Darwin and I got two became great friends you a friend of mine. So that's how I met you. Remember that? Mr. McGee. We were in the training and I didn't know where I was going as did a lot of first-year teachers in our situation. So we were all waiting for that call or that email from our soon-to-be principal and I got to know some of the other teachers and I distinctly remember mr. McGarry because he is a is a figure you don't forget he's not very attractive man and got a great beard and all that good stuff, and I'm at work walking out of one of the sessions and I got a voicemail I checked it and it says hi. This is my secretary former secretary. I want to welcome you and Milwaukee African-American immersion high school. Please stop in next week to get your assignment and

02:48 At that time I didn't know who else is working there except for Miss McGary and we are all meeting back up in the auditorium of the training building that we were at and I'm about 20 about 20 rows ahead of mr. Magarian and I stood up we hadn't even know I'm kind of felt like a fool as I am working with you and I said, I will see you there. I didn't turn off. I actually got clothes with two other teachers at this training and they all ended up being placed at that school to the right away. We kind of had this little Entourage of new teachers ready to start our first year teaching together in Milwaukee Public Schools are what

03:30 What do you feel like, I mean that first year you were teaching you got to be surrounded by a lot of new.

03:39 Young teachers new starting teacher's how do you think that shaped the school that you and I were in and shape the way that you teach.

03:48 I think one of the cornerstones of a school is kind of that community of its teachers and I guess the whole school itself, but I'm teachers and in one aspect and I think one of the benefits that we had was we had roughly seven new teachers all just staring out into space waiting for the first Bell to ring and I think we brought us closer. I'm at a new school now and there's a lot of Veteran teachers and I'm one of maybe two new teachers. So there's not that Posse that that we had and I think it really helped us as far as support goes and we were all new we all meet up after the school. They had a cop taking a couple of big deep breath and moving forward with that. So I think it was a great way. I would have not had started that any other way. I think if I had my first year teaching at the school and Matt now, which is mostly veterans and a couple of new teachers. I didn't have that initial kind of camaraderie that I had.

04:48 When we started I loved it.

04:51 Yeah, I loved that. I mean I think the biggest thing for you and I and the people that we started with those first couple years was being able to come together after school and you know being young none of us had the family to go home to yet. None of us had our only responsibility was being a teacher and going to grad school and that's one thing that I've seen change and me and not something that I think you're going through now is right. There's a lot of Veteran teachers and it's the camaraderie in the community is a little bit different.

05:30 I guess we we've gone past week on those first couple days. Let me let me back up to what got you into teaching and specifically Miss Peters. Why did you pick an alternative certification program is supposed to buy the traditional route. I had a great High School experience. I really did. I went to a big High School Hartford Union High School in Washington County. So it's it's not in an urban District, but it was a big school of roughly 1800 kids. So it was a school that offer it every activity every club. I'm all sorts of different types of people in in both the teaching staff and in the student body, and I never graduated high school and really not regretting anything and not

06:17 Finding the need to ask for anything more out of my high school experience. So that was I think I put that in the back of my brain. Is anyone at the college in Madison and you know, I went I went through the whole process of changing your major multiple times. I went into that school. You wanted to study marketing and then I started taking some accounting classes and I said No, and then I went on to look into advertising which is it a different School the school journalism, which a different vibe is old little bit more old-school not all that flashy and I was interested in that and then I went and worked out in Idaho is a outdoor travel guide where I got to take incoming freshmen on white water rafting trips in mountain bike trips and being able to teach them those skills. And I think that summer is when I really fell back in love with the idea of teaching I saw all the way from elderly people to 14 year olds. Learn how to tie a quartile sailing line.

07:18 And I decided then we'll want to teach so I came back to Wisconsin and to answer your alternate route certification question. I had a journalism degree. I didn't have an education degree. So I really came down to one of my options. I could go back to school and get my bachelor's in education or because they're such a high need in urban districts and in particular, you're a nice our field special education. I sought out different programs in Waukee cuz I think Mark is the best city in the world and there are a couple options and Milwaukee teaching fellows really stood out to me. So I applied there and started my path that way.

07:58 Yeah, I like I want to go back to the special education. I know you have a journalism degree and you talked about Marketing in this is stuff that you and I have used together. What what brought you to special education opposed to looking for something that might have been in the journalism might have been in the English language arts stuff that maybe I've been your your uba. Yeah. I always say that I've had a pretty cake life. I mean, I just haven't had that many setbacks. I'm very fortunate with a good family and a good very good growing up until I really wanted to kind of go in that place where it was actually needed where

08:42 My efforts would actually have a strong value to it. And so that's why I sought out, you know, an urban District like Milwaukee and then once you get into that Urban District, then you keep going. Okay, where is the greatest need and special education by far? I mean, we still have shortages in every major city in America and it's such a shame because you know, where where the educated education is our future and the fact that there are shortages is quite saddening. I'm going to sell some powering for for you and I cuz we get to be on the front lines. So it is really it really came down to it in the greatest. So why do you think there's why is there shortages? Why do we have these shortages in in the urban schools, especially in special education? I think there's a big misunderstanding of what special education is.

09:30 You know, I am 26 you're 30, right? So when we are back in school, it was a lot different than what it is. Now, you still run into people that when you say you work in special education, they think of a student in a wheelchair or a student with autism and while that's a huge part of special education. The spectrum is Vince incredibly brought, you know the school I work at right now our valedictorian last year had an especially used in the special education program. And I think when I tell people that are just like I don't understand I don't I don't get that. What what school do you work at? I work at Riverside University High School. That's when you know, one of the top public high schools in the nation sale.

10:13 I think it's a big misunderstanding of it and also that it's just it's a broad feeling that there are a lot of openings of people just don't know about it.

10:22 Information Gap information capture. I mean, I guess I have my own take on some of it to I would love to hear. Yeah. Well, I feel like

10:36 Teachers they used to be a time when teacher was like a really respected profession and I think I special education teachers when you tell people that sometimes I don't even want to tell people like you're at a cocktail party or a party or something. Like what do you do if you like your teacher all wear?

10:50 Oit Chad, you know I teach at North Division I teach at Custer High School. Who what do you teach special education like oo and then you get the sympathies come out from people that have this misunderstanding and what you do like always like your this your ass ain't like I don't I'm not in it cuz I'm saying why do we get into teaching we get into teaching because we want to make our community better and if we don't have great teachers when I grade teachers teaching the youth are communities not going to get better. You said earlier Milwaukee Wisconsin best thing in the world you that way if you love your city, if you love your community, you need to be teaching the youth so the community stays healthy so that he can be stays better.

11:36 I feel like teachers in the last couple years especially have been disrespected especially in Wisconsin. Like I don't feel like we're being respected with our wages the way that we can control our classrooms and it really hurts a profession. We have huge gaps. Don't tell me a little bit about the new students have come to your school in my school in the last couple couple weeks. And why why is happening there? Right. I mean, I know you and I both have had new students come in. This is just about 2 months into the school year. So these poor kids are getting pulled out of the high school that they thought they would be attending this year and told that they are being placed in another high school. I mean just bit the instability of that you need basically thrown the fire into that students school year, you know something that is not uncommon I mean

12:24 The idea of having a class roster stay the same from September 2nd to you know, whatever the last days. I can't think of it too far away or stay right now. They sent June 17th. Okay to say that you have the same class roster business on her. Because you're such a high Mobility rate among our students which Yes means leaving as soon as coming in so it's you know, that's it is a battle and I know that one of the things that you and I talked about is

12:52 You know what? What what is kind of the number one thing that's going to help us school be successful and why that number one thing is really hard to pinpoint, but we can really talk about stability a lot. And I guess I would like to get into kind of maybe the differences in our schools right now and where you're working and then you know what I'm working.

13:10 And some mr. McGregor and I both worked at Milwaukee African-American Milwaukee African-American immersion high school for 2 years. And then that's cool the Milwaukee Public Schools decided to close at school down and reopen it as another school, but none the less the teachers, you know, I had to look elsewhere for employment. And so this way where did you land? I waited up there school for career and Technology education, which is in itself a restart of a school that got shut down. The former Custer High School was shut down last year and then restarted as the school of career and Technology education and Dennis Peters. Where did you end up? I am working currently at Riverside University High School. It was a school that I always kind of had my eye on.

14:01 Tremendous I remember catching the bus. I used to take my I still take the bus to school when I didn't want to walk but I used to take the bus to school and on a side note the kids always loved making fun of me for that but it's all right. I just take the bus to school. I used to pick up a transfer right outside Riverside where I work now and Miss McGary now you should start at 8:30. So the school I work at now starts at 7:30. So it was always a time when kids were coming into the school and I was loved it because it was the most diverse crowd you you could really even find in Milwaukee and you know, just imagine that the high school and it's got the most diverse crowd. I think in in the in the city and I always got jealous of that because that's how come that I grew up loving this just diversity and my parents were a big proponent of that. It has a good reputation and it's been around for four years and I think for me that's been the number one thing for a school has been the stability. I walked in that school and they just had all the system.

15:01 In the procedure set and everything that you and I had to build from scratch our first two years. It was already set for me. I mean, are you able to find out of your school right now? I'm not able to find that at my school an hour again. Like we talked to her two months in a school where it's week 7 and most procedures are not set instabilities rampant, you know where that we're still we still have a teacher that's a long-term sub. We still have a list of students that I'm supposed to service that's forever altering and ebbing and flowing in, you know, just two weeks ago class schedule got changed. All of our freshman wichman all grades got kind of erased unless you had them written down in hardcover all the the stuff that you hadn't computer was gone. So that in that instability, we definitely you and I had that at m a i

16:01 Inconsistencies or what? I think kill our district is what's killing Urban education and not just with the students. We talked about like the students transiency. They are moving schools. Maybe they they they move for they moved to a different neighborhood. They started in their neighborhood school and then they move across town. So they want to move schools or they've got a cousin at another school and they want to be able to go to school together. But you and I are examples of how there's teacher inconsistencies while they shut down a school and those teachers are dispersed. We're spread throughout the district. So I'll all over and you and I have had multiple conversations about our high school experience and it's tough to like bring our high school experiences and compare it to Urban or Milwaukee Public School. You know, I went to school for Washington, which is a North suburb of Milwaukee, but the consistency that you and I enjoyed in our high school.

17:01 This is not enjoyed by a huge majority of kids in this in Milwaukee. And I think it most Urban Public Schools teachers are all over the place students are all over the place and now you're at a place Riverside, which is got something good going on. It's got that stability. Tell tell me about it this week. This week has really kind of highlighted some of it that it was homecoming week and this week I you know how I love to dress up. So, you know akutaq is he was big for me it was on Wednesday night face paint on while I was teaching to a mother could be distraction that I give me one day out of the year.

17:38 But today was school spirit day to our colors are orange and black and it was one of them the greater moments of my teaching career and it's a small thing but just seen the Halls filled with students in orange and black. It's just that that community that spirit in a school that pride in their school the I did the idea of him coming from the experiences. We've had my first two years to see a student and actually the majority of students proud of the school to rent. It was is just earth-shattering to me. I was just like I finally am here, you know, and it was a lot of those things that you know, it's hard to compare the high school that you and I went to to the school's maybe we work at but I I saw a lot of just some of those things that I loved you to pep rally today that the Indian 1600 kids in the gym with the band in the football team in the cheerleaders, you know, it's that High School experience that we want for our kids. Unfortunately. Some of our schools can't give that to them.

18:38 But yeah, the the the consistency of Riverside has been great. I I don't have a lot of the stress that I had in my first two years and to put stress that shouldn't be a new teacher is I mean it's a but it wasn't a big hurdle to come over. I want to I want to come back to that because what you just said that those stresses but do you think even if you were at Riverside your first year is still going to have those stresses? Oh, yeah. I mean it's not easy being a first-year teacher anywhere. I don't think it's easy being a first-year teacher. If you're in you know, probably the in the easiest best performing all honor student high school. They have terrifying. It's like if you're going up there giving a speech everyday this all these eyes on you. You got to control a classroom. You're not just in charge of you know, your part Entertainer Park teacher you can't

19:36 How do you get your educating we are at we are learning to write every single day. What's our learning intention? You're not just going up there to like shoot the breeze and talk so.

19:48 The systems were surprised that you didn't have that m a i and the baby you don't have now what I think I think you and I were like we said we were able to come up with a core group of really young teachers at worst. Super.

20:06 Passionate and super excited about teaching terrified in some ways right anxious about it, but we created a lot of the system's you get you can we got to a point where if we needed something done. If something wasn't getting done we did it made things happen and I think some of the supports that we didn't have there that we created. We're like, you know, how how we're going to run or IEP meetings when we were going to provide services for students when we could do a inclusion models when we could do pull outs how we were going to help special education students really succeed.

20:52 And that was a struggle, you know, you're working on your schedule and making sure all the kids get what they need what's happened at this new school? I'm at none of those things were in place right as we tried to build them.

21:07 What kind of coming up against Roblox constantly? So an example of would be down? I think I told you about this right example, we came to school on the special education department kind of got together before the first couple days of school and said here's where all of our students are here is where their classes are. Here's how we best want to serve them.

21:28 And here's where we want our schedule to be here so we can team teachers or we can be in classrooms. Here's where we can pull out and we want all of our students to get regular education phlomis. So that's why we're going to be in those regular education classes with him and have Administration kind of be like, woah, I don't know about all that if they are a student that on their IP says most restrictive placement. That means they shouldn't be in education classroom.

21:54 They don't need to be in there while they're not going to get their diploma.

21:59 Let's see about that. Those are the kind of conversations that we've had had that I've never had to have with an Administration for or when we've had those conversations Administration has been like oh, yeah. Yeah, let's do that. You have a plan. You have a good plan. And this is what you need to make that plan happen make it happen. So when we've asked in the past when you and I asked and came with a good plan that made sense Administration and in the school was worth say yes run with it make it happen make things better here. I feel like when we come with a plan we say this is what we need. I get told I get the feeling that I'm spending my ministration, but they are like you don't like the plan we came up with.

22:42 What's wrong with our plan? Right? I can't believe you would even act like our plan wasn't perfect. So and in this kind of like

22:53 Glazing over of special education and I think I'm going to keep going. I think the biggest thing with my school that strikes me is that you talked about this school spirit is there it's split right now between my 11th and 12th graders that still hold on to Custer that really are on Custer and my 9th graders who are scte School career in technology at and if my Minister says one thing they are great cheerleaders for the school, right? And I love it there. You know a lot of kids are wearing Spirit they stuff that I did not see with you and I had a man not as much but there's kind of dislike. Okay, the 11th and 12th graders. They were Nars just inherited them. So we're fine with them just moving on out and we want to focus on this freshman class.

23:45 And I understand that.

23:47 But he is to not want my my kids to succeed and not see them as as valuable as a freshman is really difficult. And I don't know if that's how it is urban the time preceding.

24:03 It said it's a tough thing because I I hate I know we shared a lot of these battles in our first two years and I while I'm happy to kind of be at my school and maybe not have to deal with some of that stuff because the fact that you have to put stress on something other than teaching your kids is horrendous. So it pains me to hear that Mr. McGarry receipt as I do. I miss you. I miss I miss all that Core group that we had in those first two years. That's huge. I've learned so much from being with you guys and and just those first couple years you have to it's it's always like you always described his kind of comrade their brothers in arms. It's the trenches sometimes I'm it hurts. It's painful like

24:48 And it's definitely days are I've come home and then like oh my God.

24:52 What am I doing this for the next day? You have to have a short memory in education, right, but you can't take offense teaching right now. The most is that everyday you literally have to try it again because the kids really don't hold grudges. They are so easily forget things and and we will try again and that was one of my first two years. I absolutely loved it because I might had a horrible day and I've got to wake up the next morning and okay. So these are my challenges. Let me try this and sometimes it works. Sometimes it didn't and you know, there be times where I would just have this instant cry and then where's it coming from and then you think back on the past week? I've had to swallow a little bit.

25:41 But you know trains always good not no. I'm not ashamed to know for sure. I've been there I try right now if I could but

25:53 Yeah, and I think it goes along with our little theme of instability. This was four weeks into the my first-year my class got changed. So you no longer teaching this class. Now, you're teaching this group of students in this different subject. And these poor kids had had a you know, what the sub the difference of every day for 4 weeks and then I show up with my Thai in my slacks on walking in who is this guy? And it's like Classics teardown of when you first meet your kids. There ain't you up your grind them down because there's usually sitting and I just remembered one of my favorite teacher can have favorites, but I guess I kind of do one of my favorite kids

26:47 I don't know how we got out of the conversation. But as long as you're trying to get to know them and somehow the neighborhood's concept came up when you know where the kids live in and all that and

26:59 The topic went into if I were to show up in their neighborhood. I'm looking at my do this is one of my favorite students at so at the time we were just getting to them every looking at him and said, you know, if you ever came into my neighborhood I take what you have put you six feet underground.

27:19 And I had to think about the six feet underground comment cuz it didn't really register at first and I think that has to do with burial. So not bad language skills pretty good, and I have never really had even though it wasn't a threat because you know, he didn't it was just a show-off in class.

27:40 But that really hit me and I remember it was a very stop remote for me and I somehow pulled through the rest of that class and I went and talked to some of our safety personnel at our school. So these are the men and women the great men and women that are in charge of I guess keeping a school orderly and kind of pushing the kids along to to class and clear in the hallways and I were talking to them and I talked to what it happened and it said, you know, mr. Peters. This is something that you might deal with everyday and you just have to remember that they don't mean it and you know, just keep showing them that love that you want to give him and I listen to them and sure enough next time next time. I heard something like that. I brushed it off and you know how to conversation about it later on.

28:28 But that was again one of the more challenging days that sticks out in my mind from my first I guess I'm I 3 years teaching and it really came full swing when I got to walk to that student acrostic the stage and graduated and I spent two years. I guess getting to know him and we became I'm considering my friend now actually joked around and I said, I want it. I want you to call him. I don't have his number but I would love to call him and just thank them for all of that stuff. You put me through because you know, it's cuz I was kind of like training ground for me. It really was and now at my new school.

29:09 I always keep in the back of my head because there's this other kids that try and match what he was but they can't they don't know that and I don't tell him that but at least he brings me up a little bit of peace of mind because I went all the way from

29:22 Why was the fake threatened with a verbal threat of being put under ground to a hug at graduation, you know, and it doesn't it really doesn't get much better than that.

29:33 He

29:36 I think was a bit hardened from his school experience. So I teach students with emotional Behavior disabilities in a lot of student population.

29:49 Unfortunately our Pinot put in one or two rooms for the whole day. It's what they call the most restrictive placement.

29:57 So he's been in that type of environment, you know outside of the regular education environment where you know, there's classes of 2240 kids and he's been in a classroom with anywhere from 4 to 12.

30:14 Avalon Susan have behavior issues and so he's been in that setting for four years and I think I mean just the fact that he had a different teacher every day for weeks. I didn't I never blamed him for anything. You said or anything the way you acted. I always knew that he wanted to be better in that. He wanted he didn't want to threaten a teacher and I saw that later on as I got to know him. Yeah, he would suit stop by every morning evening in my class. It stopped by any of you have anything to say it was just I think it's just I contact thing like I noticed you're here and I noticed you're here to okay cool. See you later. And it was just I don't know it's hard to explain you just build his relationship with kids that are somewhat completely different than anything else. You've ever had. It's not I mean it had to be done when I say friendship. It's a bit different.

31:09 He would put you underground. How would you do it? I do it.

31:15 United me did I do it every day now at that moment was like I got hit in the stomach and I had to take a breath in a pause and I think I I know that I was I could tell that I was physically not at ease a little bit and I was a little bit under stress at that point and I never like showing that site to my students. So how I would do it differently is just what I do now.

31:42 I get up, you know, I have kids that again. I always like to protect my kids but for the sake of the story, I'll put the details in and I have kids that will go on 5-minute verbal Ransom making up words and using some of the dirtiest word, you know of and it's literally just standing there and smiling very little little bit then we don't have a big smile cuz I'm stuck mocking them. But just a little smirk knowing that you understand. This is their way of coping with whatever stress or dealing with and that you know that they don't mean it. So you'll just listen to it and then when they're done you move on with with instruction and then the whole goal is to work on the outside with that kid.

32:27 And kind of build a relationship so that he never has to do that 5 minutes again. So that's I mean, that's how I do it differently now. I guess I'm a little hard to know to I've got thicker skin. I don't hear a lot of that stuff. I don't hear the threats anymore. Even though maybe I should you know, it's sad to say that we don't have to hear threats, but even though we do,

32:50 It is different. I mean, I think I know this thing they were talking about and then we've had that experience. I think Thomas thing for me like I had it I had a day where one of my favorite students at Tufts Student killed that I'd known for a year-and-a-half to almost two years slug me in the face in class cuz you didn't want to give up a cell phone in a cell phones become an issue, but there's a kid that I that I love text one of those people that would be like some of my favorite students in my other teachers be like what

33:23 How can you like him in that case? He's hilarious. Like he's so smart. He so quick. Yes, he's all over the place. But this kid is great and and wouldn't give up his cell phone and on these possessions are student. I think they they they don't have a lot. That's just there's so the phone becomes a speaker who sings it's such a distraction in class and I had to take his phone away for me and punch me in the face and I was wearing my glasses that day my glasses going to go flying halfway across the room and he can't he's probably eight hundred pounds soaking wet. Not a very big kid, but

34:01 Ed the awestruck notice of being punched by a student

34:06 Would you like stop me and was like the whole class erupted? We was like old man, they knew something would happen and I was like, I'm going to have to deal with this.

34:16 But more so than anything that like being punched in at my class with out-of-control was that I knew this student there was no way the student was not going to be expelled. I student that I cared for but I'd worked hard with for a year-and-a-half was not going to be expelled from school in a situation where he felt comfortable and the game relationship with teachers and was doing well. And that was that was rough. That was a tough thing.

34:44 Is it happen right after?

34:47 Right afterwards. I you know, I someone another a student grab my glasses and brought them back to me and the student that is punch me. I think he knew what he had done to it on. You. Just had that look like crap.

35:04 And you know I ate was very calm about it. I just called Safety and then there was like, you know, I need to know and you to safety as a student. I did this and previous to this like maybe a couple days later earlier. He had similar situation that had taken a glass of Mind throwing it across the room and was like

35:25 Students tame a KJ like you needed relax on this stuff like you need to really be calm and like he's one of the few things for me is that I really try and stay very calm and very tense situation that happened on a daily basis and I am in the school and high school because if you don't say, just feeds it and then they give model this this calmness that you can have but immediately afterwards. Yeah. It was I didn't I didn't hurt your little guy but emotionally I was just like

36:00 I'm not going to see this to me again. And I had a great relationship with the mom made his former teachers from middle school and was some way I'd worked real hard with and it was I was tough and I know that I don't have contact with you anymore because now we got an alternative setting. I can't even see how he's doing. I don't have contact numbers anymore. When you were talking about the passion of love for some of the students. I think that's one of the beautiful things about our job. Is that where I guess kind of in charge of loving those students that quite frankly lot of the other teachers.

36:40 Don't even want in their classroom because of whatever history that has brought them to this point in our lives and and it's caused their behaviors or their actions to be this Saturday. I never want to put too much blame on the students because they're at this point for a lot of reasons that were out of their control, but that's really fun. And I think it's a little bit at least I know it in Powers me and I get the sense that empowers you miss McGary that you can eat your the guy that loves these students when all the other teachers are talking mess about him. And yes, I really love that part and when you said that you never going to see the kid again or never get to talk to you again.

37:21 That's why I want to talk to farts by the job because you put in.

37:25 Anywhere from a week to a year-and-a-half working with the student and then one thing can happen and they're gone.

37:35 But if you could redo that experience, how would you do it differently, man? I don't know. I don't know.

37:44 You and I Darwin talked about regret earlier too and like I don't know.

37:50 It's tough. I don't know if I regret anything in that situation. Like I don't want never want a pleated to try and not get him expelled and I knew that they were going to have to be a central office hearing. It was like, you know, I work for the student. I think we can make things change but it's just it's at 11 where I could have been but also, I don't think that I always question like should I should I plan on him about the phone but if a teacher that cares about him

38:23 And the teacher that he sees all the time lets things slide. It's going to get harder for him and everybody else down the road. It's like those little things like we're trying to teach our students to be adults get adults. Like when is the appropriate time to use your cell phone with behaviors is a huge part of what we teach

38:45 So, I don't know if I regret anything in that situation cuz I didn't I didn't get angry at him. I had other teachers tell me like all if someone to punch me it's that's open that's open. I don't think I really mean it. I think that some teachers there maybe get afraid of their kids sometimes and I don't know if I don't think I've ever really felt afraid of my students.

39:08 I don't think I could be in I like even one of them like me and this is a different situation, you know, they've been through stuff. I don't.

39:17 If you are afraid of your students How Could You Be an Effective Teacher and if you ever really honestly wanted to strike one of your students, how would you be an Effective Teacher? Cuz it is it's about those relationships and it's about

39:33 And I will show him how much we care about him. And if we didn't care about kids we didn't care about students. We wouldn't be teachers.

39:41 You're not paid well.

39:43 Perspex kind of falling out of it a little bit like I love what I do. If I didn't love what I did. I couldn't build a relationship with the kids. I couldn't be a good teacher. That's what I get. Now what happened to you with us with a notion of what would you do differently? Next time is?

40:04 What schools we always have that next to guaranteed next time and so we've already even if you think about what we would do if you've already done it, so we have to think about just what you doing daily, baby. Right? I mean, I'm sure I guess I probably learned something from it and have not gotten to a point where I knew that. I didn't want to like it slow down that aggravation know for a fact that you you did something differently maybe a little bit at another time and you able to be escalated and didn't come to that level.

40:30 That's another fun part of the janitor.

40:41 I know thanks dude. I miss you so much to say that. I miss you. I mean like I think one of the questions was who's a colleague you couldn't live without and both of us. I think it's funny. We like, you know, I have to mr. McGarry would make his rounds in the noise like a doctor in the morning. He would walk around every classroom and just who is with me Morella. I don't have that, but I don't talk to you later. You're my cheerleader in the same building.

41:16 I could time.