Taylor Johnson and Michael Gonzales

00:03 Hi, my name is Michael Gonzalez. I'm 25 years old today's date is June 24th, 2019. Where in San Antonio, Texas and I am a conversation partner?

00:16 And my name is Taylor James Johnson. I'm 31 years old today is the same date. It's June 24th, 2019. Where in San Antonio and the relationship to this part? Where is the conversation partner?

00:31 And in stranger that I just met hopefully hopefully new friend and definitely but I was very nice to meet you or I think it was really interesting that the first thing I noticed about you or the flamingos on your shirt and I almost wore flamingos on my shirt was so close and I feel like if I had this conversation, we're just been over we would have just been innocent best friend besties for life. But but now now I have to find other things but but yeah, like I said, my name is Taylor James Johnson, I go buy all three names cuz there's a couple of us out there and and we're here in San Antonio one of my favorite cities.

01:13 Yeah, so Taylor do you Taylor James Johnson? Yes, please. All three of Taylor's find one. I'll know you're talkin to me.

01:24 So you based off of what I read used to be sort of liberal-leaning. And yes, you're no longer liberal-leaning. I would I called myself a atheist communist leftist. I was as far left as anyone could be I I think and it took years it took years but I slowly eventually found myself on the other side and I don't think I changed I think just the the past two what I wanted in the world changed. My goals are all still the same. I still wanted your freedom for everybody and safety for everyone is just the the liberal Democrat left wing aspect of it. I just didn't

02:11 Appeal to me as time went on and I was afraid to use this word for for a long time. But I I now identify as a conservative and I don't want that to be a a bad word and I I guess what I want I guess might My ultimate goal would be for you to walk away here going like he's not a Nazi basically if you if you if you don't think I'm a Nazi then I I I think we've had a success but but I'm also interested in in in your life story the things I read about you you're a Hispanic and sis mail and gay. So how did you become all of those things? Well, I mean all of those things describe aspects of me that I was born with so I guess

03:09 I'm comfortable in identifying as a gay male.

03:14 And I think that that stems from the way I was brought up. My family was I didn't think that they would be as open as they ended up being and I think it took a lot of educating themselves because I don't think I'm as Klaus and I didn't think I was as sort of hidden as I thought I was sort of like everybody kind of knew I didn't really have to come out and if that's the case a lot a lot of people are at their family dinner table and like a Mom Dad I'm gay and they're all like, yeah, we know yeah. Yeah, it was definitely one of those. Yeah, we know and I'm glad when did you come out I came out when I was in high school. It was like midnight and I was talking to my sister and we started talking about school and I think I just kind of mentioned it to her. And and I think she was the only one that I really wanted to tell at the time and so chic.

04:14 Immediately was was okay with it and then left the room and didn't tell me where she was going. And then when I got my parents and kind of forced me to come out in front of them and was probably the most terrifying thing I've ever done in my life and and they kind of immediately were fine with it. And I think they talked the most and it was all supportive. You know, we're behind you and and we love you and all that. So I mean it was it was definitely a really positive experience, which I I know a lot of people don't necessarily have but overall. I really I really think that that kind of acceptance really helps me to do the things that I ended up doing which was a cracked of is almond and being part of an organization that being part of an organization that kind of brought activism to different schools and then helps young people become leaders and their school and I really appreciate that to my parents.

05:14 Cuz they were very very supportive. So that's great. Did was there anyone in your life that wasn't supported for their friends that you lost or anything like that? Yeah. I think I lost one or two friends. But I think at that point the only people that I weren't the only people that I wasn't out to wear my family. So even before that I sort of lost everybody who I was going to lose and then when it came time to coming out to my family it was it was all kind of smooth sailing from there. So it's really interesting cuz I have a similar coming out story I guess but it's coming out of the conservative because I know all my life my family knew me as this as the left to set the table who would be like and so and in my friends new me is that I was the guy who I went to I went to the protest at the Crawford Ranch. I stood up against the Westboro Baptist Church with my Stihl wood.

06:14 And went to the pride parades watched stood outside just to see a building that Obama was in Obama's inside their oh my god. Oh and so when I came out on Facebook, I think it started as just anti-obamacare. I was like, hey, this isn't really working for my family and I noticed that that, you know, the friends with drop drop drop and then when I came out as pro-life all of them people that that that I lived with people that my family took in suddenly because of this difference in opinion couldn't associate with me and and I was like, this must be what it feels like to come out as gay for some people. I don't want to compare the two but I mean, it's it's definitely I think a similar experience

07:14 That new reality. And yeah, so yeah, it's it's definitely somewhere. I mean, I think I think you're kind of my biggest fear in terms of I kind of hold my ideals my beliefs really closely and the idea of of thinking a different way or coming over to a new realization is is kind of terrifying so you mean changing your opinion is your biggest fear o will write me at like I think I think identify like identifying as someone who is a conservative I think would probably be my biggest fear that that liberal truth like, you know, really really close then and I think yeah, I I don't know if it's just because I don't know enough conservative people or understand the ideals of of conservatives, but I feel like it'd be really difficult to

08:14 To identify that way you don't even know why I feel like it would go against everything that I yes. I know exactly I was I was in your shoes are they weren't nice but but I was there in like I knew they'd like I'm starting to understand the conservative side and what I thought about them was completely different and and it was because of the job. I got I actually got a job and talk radio. I went to a liberal arts school and studied film, you know, and then the first people that would hire me or talk radio conservative talk radio and my friends even warned me like a they're going to brainwash you they're going to change you don't do it. Oh my I need money. These are the only people calling me back and you know what? Maybe I'll be the liberal voice that will bring some balance. I'm I'll change them from the inside. That was my goal. So I was actually going into this talk radio station as like I'm going to I'm going to hit him with a hard life.

09:14 Truth is here and slowly. It's going to become the new NPR but it actually the opposite happened and I got to know these people and I became friends with them and I was like, they're not these like wild rednecks that hate everyone who's not a white male Christian there and some of them are poets and musicians and some of them are gay. You know it in my my world is just like wait there you can be this and this and think this and the reason why you think this isn't what I what I was told it was just completely I it was it was I know I understand why they call it red pilling cuz it's just like the Matrix they gave me a red pill and I suddenly saw the world and it in a different way. And so yeah, you would be afraid to take the red pill if I handed it to you right now.

10:07 Was there was there anything that like specifically you remember like suddenly thinking a different way or seeing something in A New Perspective like something big that that was yeah. Yeah. There's a few things. I think the first one was I was very very critical of the Christian belief system my eye I saw him is very anti-gay very anti-woman and it just it it was driving me really angry at them. I I I had some bad experiences nothing like horrible, but just trust betrayal of people who were in the church and I was like, I don't like the sound like this and I was saying things about them that I I now think is or hateful and then one friend was just like we'll we'll what about these other religions here. They're doing the same thing and sometimes even worse and my reason for not criticizing them was

11:02 Well, I don't want to seem racist. I don't want to seem bigoted. So I'm just going to criticize what I believe. I'm allowed to criticize but I didn't have an answer in the fact that I didn't have an answer. I'm talking about radical Islam there. Like why aren't you criticizing this you should be criticizing everything. I like no, I can't criticise that because that's wrong and I am but I didn't have a reason why I couldn't speak out against people who were doing bad things in the name of a religion, but I was okay with speaking out against Christians who are doing bad things in the name of religion, and I wanted to be fair and in my only reason my only reason for not being fair I feel was was not genuine and I end and when I finally took down that that that wall of of only seeing the world through one way and

11:57 Like South Park, I want to go out to everybody, you know, and I felt so untrue to myself that I was keeping my cell phone this one path only focusing on one thing when they were other things and then and then

12:11 The next biggest thing was my wife kind of really introduced me to pro-life and I was I was really really I would call myself pro-abortion. I don't like pro-choice or pro-abortion and she she told me things and showed me things that I had never seen never been exposed to and I was like, that was not what I thought I was supporting. That's not what I thought there were other things but those are the two main that came out where I was like I

12:43 I need to be true to myself. I'm lying to myself just to keep friends just to say that I'm still on the side and

12:52 And yes, I I wanted to go after everyone and I felt at this time in this state of politics that to go. The only people who are really going after every enemy going after but criticizing. Everyone are people that more lean to the right so that helped me take a step their cuz of Comedy sake mostly I can tell these jokes. I can tell these jokes why who's telling me who is dictating this and liberal comedians that I used to look up to her making jokes that I was saying now, but now I'm being called racist but they're still there or not, but you got all tangled and I I didn't know what to to believe. So I kind of had to flush everything out and start over and that made me end up calling myself a conservative. I still like funny jokes.

13:46 So you're what? What is what is

13:50 What is the closest you can come to being a conservative any any beliefs are all that? You would say I I kind of lean more this way or is it all?

14:02 On the left. I think it leans mostly to the left. I can't really think of anything off the top of my head that would that would definitely be like a conservative ideal. I think I I think that's I see you're wearing a cross. I will. Yes, that's my present from my parents think I might my family is religious and I I personally wasn't raised around the religion a lot. And so it's it's mostly been a recent thing.

14:42 But I mean other well no, I mean I I I kind of see myself.

14:50 And I don't mean that that Christianity has to be on the right. I'm just saying that maybe that would open up some some some conversation right now. I'm just I'm trying to Rack my brain to think of like fiscally socially I can't really think of anything that I would call myself a conservative for but I also think there's some things that are like technically conservative but maybe or were conservative at the time but aren't necessarily conservative now, I mean

15:24 Like Nixon had the Clean Air Act and I'm you know, all for the Clean Air and Clean Water Act and Nixon did a lot of good things. You said that it's hidden in history. He wasn't the perfect man and nobody is but that he did a lot of things that are not exactly evil. I know an end to paint anybody as as you know, one specific thing like this person was definitely evil or this person is definitely good. I'm I struggle with that because I mean, you know in a lifetime of experiences can't add up to, you know, 100% one thing around percent another thing. You know, I ate that actually kind of looking into history actually opened my mind to joining the conservative side, you're looking into things Nixon did looking into the racism of LBJ learning things about him that I was not taught in school things. He said and I'm like woah, we're allowed to keep his statue up kind of thing.

16:24 He's he said this this and this and just horrible things that I'm not going to repeat but he still looked at as this this this hero of of the left when other people said maybe less things and are demonized now and so is and you look in the history of why Planned Parenthood was formed things like that. And and I was like, how come I was never taught these things when I was there supporting these people. It seems like they were at somebody was hiding elements of history from me. Keep me on a certain side. I think hiding may not be the I think cherry picking probably would be maybe a better way of looking at it just because I feel like hiding hiding kind of

17:22 Has a implication that there was some big Power deciding you-know-what and that there might be there might that it's too close to a conspiracy theory. I am well, that's the other word that I'm now embracing is it is conspiracy theorist not on everything of course, but but but yeah, I just the things institutions people that I trusted. I I learned things about them that that disappointed me and

17:59 And I I just couldn't couldn't align myself with them after learning certain things after learning the history of the Democrat Party the founding of it certain yet cherry picking things that I was like, I don't I don't want that name on me and you I don't I don't I don't call myself a republican either cuz they're not clean either. I deferred the first person I voted for was Gary Johnson is the the libertarian as that's why I've never

18:32 I've never wanted to really put myself in a party because they're all they're all horrible a pox on all their houses as what I feel. But if I had to pick the lesser of two evils, I'm going to vote Republican, but I don't I don't like them but I I'm just I can't I couldn't pick Hillary, you know C&I I'd never I have never it never occurred to me that conservative and Republican were two different things and they are they are actually because of the the last election. I I I've learned that that that they're not this tight group of people that all agree, you know, Ben Shapiro hates Milo yiannopoulos, you know, they everybody is all these conservatives and Republicans are actually going after each other a lot of Republicans hate Trump, you know, a lot of conservatives hate Trump and it and and that kind of appeals to me is that it's not this one big group think you can divide

19:32 The conservative movement up and probably like five different groups. One of them is really really bad, but others are really really good and I think you can do that with the left as well. You can do it with anything. And and and so yeah, I found like I didn't have to put myself in this group because this isn't a group this is a to something bigger. It's multiple groups with a with a common goal of freedom, I guess depending on your definition. I think a lot of people throw that word around freedom and I think they use it as sort of a a key to get into different places of throat around everywhere. I think I think there's definitely different ideas of freedom and and you know, my idea of freedom is is a hundred years from now that we're still here and I think there's a lot of

20:33 Kind of what I'm seeing in the media is this idea of let's just deal with it later and or not deal with it at all and act like it doesn't exist climate change little bit about climate change cool. So I kind of I

20:51 Used to be called global warming though, then they changed it. When when the Al Gore dates didn't happen. And that's what that's what happened to me. Is that I I would I had a I had Al Gore's book. You know I Had An Inconvenient Truth, I wouldn't saw it in the theaters over and over and I would preach that stuff and then and then when the certain things that they said we're going to happen didn't happen and they changed the wording and you look back and they've been doing this since the seventies it it doesn't mean I don't believe in it is just the trust level has fallen for me work or to me. It seems like they've cried global warming wolf too many times for me to really believe them just because they're wearing a lab coat.

21:36 Is it we're always wrong we've been wrong about so many things were wrong about the food pyramid just a few years ago, but it feels like there's this mindset that right now we know everything and I guess my my opinion on climate change is that we don't know yet and the studies of say that we do know have

21:58 Are are not exactly trustworthy. Once you really look into how they've got certain numbers. I trust me. I want I want the world to be as clean as possible. I love animals. I love all that and I think we should all recycle and I do but but I I just don't really trust this the world's going to end in 12 years kind of thing because they said that 12 years ago. And and so I feel like yeah with climate change their needs to be like a a balance of halex. Let's do this, but let's not

22:34 Let's not destroy everything to do it. I think there's a way we just haven't gotten there yet. We all want it. I mean, I think there may be some night and I haven't naivety on my ends just because of you know, I'm only five I bleed when I was your age. I was I was a liberal communist atheist. Do you have some what you could still change brother?

22:59 I just let you know right now. There's there's so much to talk about it and debate over it and and Ike I have this feeling of of like existential dread of of you know, if if something doesn't change we might cross a point that we can't return from any and I think you know from what I'm seeing on, you know on the news of people just kind of stepping away from the table. It is kind of scary cuz if you're not part of the conversation, then you're not part of the solution and I think

23:33 If

23:35 Even if we do the bare minimum, at least that's something you know what I mean? Yeah, like yeah. Yeah. I definitely think we should do something and and I feel like the people who who are pushing this need to lead by example because it's hard for me to believe these people when they're stepping off private jets when they're stepping off of SUVs saying these things are likely if you really believe this you wouldn't be doing this and and so it's just a trustworthy thing where I like if you live that life, if you are all about that green lifestyle and we're doing it then I'm like the new than you you believe what you're saying and I don't have a hard time believing that they believe it and when I say they could mean anybody but but I just I need to see action and and their actions of the politicians who are pushing this aren't living that lifestyle and it's all about it's all about the way you live in the way you

24:34 What you put into the world after just putting out tweets and holding posters and then throwing them down not cleaning it up during your during your clean Earth protest is like I can't believe you don't trust you, but that doesn't mean I don't believe that we need to take care of Mother Earth to favorite planet.

24:55 I I definitely agree. It's it's my favorite planet as well.

25:01 So what who has been the most important and influential person in your life is this is a question. I really want to know because for me it's been a lot of different people. But is there is there anybody in your life that is influenced you politically or just in it to come out as a homosexual or I think my dad is is a really big influence in my life. I mean he

25:30 He raised me as best as he could and I think with the limited resources that he had available to him. I think I turned out fine and I really I really like the the way he taught me to think and the way he taught me to question and I think that I owe a lot to him and I think my my mom as well as I call her mom. She's technically speaking my stepmom, but I'm a stepdad get a Cynthia. She's just Mom to me. So I think she she taught me how to be a good person and I I kind of feel bad not crediting. That's my dad. He had some part in it definitely but I think it was sort of like A New Perspective and and a new

26:31 A new way of thinking that kind of solidified what I already had been taught and yeah, I think just might my parents in general were our great human beings and I am incredibly lucky to know them and and have been raised by them. And I think more people should know them cuz they're great. Did you know their political beliefs when you were growing up as a kid did I tell you or did you figure it out and funny enough date? And neither of them are really political battles me, but neither of them voted and I'm definitely publicly shaming them. And so I think if you don't vote you don't have a voice and I think they kind of have this idea of

27:19 There's nobody out there that really represents them and my counter-argument to that is if you don't vote then you're you don't have a voice and you don't nobody knows what you stand for. So nobody can represent you. Yeah. Oh exactly. I agree. Yeah, you got if you're if you're not playing the game don't don't complain about the results of a very similar relationship with my parents nowadays. They lead by example. They just showed me. Hey, this is how you treat your wife. This is how you treat your husband. This is how you are a good person. They they didn't they say they never pushed Politics on me at all. Even when I was shouting about it. They just kind of like, you know rolled their eyes or just an okay. I'll consider that I never really knew their political standing by think one time. They said they were Republican but they they didn't really explain it to me very well. So I didn't really understand what that meant. And then I wouldn't I asked a like a friend like what's a republican to Democrat and they're like

28:19 Credit someone who wants to help people and Republican doesn't and I was like, well, I'm definitely a Democrat I want to help people and and so I I want to thank my parents for not trying to force any political view on me. They let me figure it out for myself and and that's kind of what I want to do with my with my step-children. There's some of them like and I know which side they're on and there's some of them that I breathe if some of them that you know, they're all over the place and they're still learning their beliefs and I I just want them to figure it out for themselves. I want them to make mistakes and learn from them and in cuz cuz it's not cool. Your parents aren't cool. You know that no matter what they're your parents until they're telling you like. Hey, you got to do this you got to do this or you're going to rebell, you know, I think if my parents like you have to be Republic and I would you think I would still be a leftist communist exactly and that's what I kind of feel like

29:19 Conservativism is is the new punk rock. It's the it's kind of within my group of friends. It's the outrageous thing to do. It's the rebellious thing to do. It's going against the establishment now and which was completely the opposite when I was growing up, you know, and and I cut that kind of is another thing that appealed to me about the conservative movement is the rock and roll punk rock aspect of it that you know, the Sex Pistols support Trump, you know, okay, which might not be a good thing but it's like it's like wow, you know, there's

29:56 It went when you got like the the media against you you got Hollywood again. So you got Academia against you. I like this is this reminds me of early hip-hop punk rock. This is the new thing and I know it sounds weird it does it serve what I'm hearing is when everyone disagrees with you, you're right. Right with everyone disagrees with me. It makes me feel like I'm on to something when I when I say something that everyone gets upset about and but they can't articulate to me why they're upset. It makes me feel like we'll maybe I maybe this nerve that I hit has some truth in it cuz that's how I would feel when I was a when I was a liberal in someone would say something had no comeback.

30:47 It just it it made me feel like this like I don't know what to do. And and I kind of like doing that. I like I've always been a rebellious guy. And right now this is this is the path Rebelle fan in a good way. So what is what is your earliest memory about politics by earliest memory about politics really my grandpa yelling about Monica Lewinsky. I didn't know what that was. I knew I knew he was a republican. He had a bumper sticker that said boycott France and end. So I knew that something was going on with this Monica Lewinsky. I didn't understand what she was doing. But I I that was my first sense of like this stuff is dirty like politics is a nasty nasty business and actually made me not really interested in it. And you have what? What is your earliest memory of of being of politics or being politically involved?

31:47 I think there was when George Bush jr. Was was the president I remember staying up late and and watching like SNL skits about you know, George W bush jr. And and I think that was probably the introduction to like. Oh I can I can a political comedy is is is funny and their people that we can laugh at and I don't know if that was the best way to be introduced to phone fixed, but I think that's the perfect way because that's how I have a similar thing at watching Saturday Night Live watch. I watch The Daily Show on Colbert everyday, you know, and now I can't but now because of my interest in comedy and I said this before now, I feel like the only people Talent are who are who are free to tell jokes are the people on the right. Now, you're getting comedians are getting banned from Twitter for saying things. That wouldn't

32:47 You've been controversial five years ago 10 years ago and and maybe we're not and they're not even looking into what the context of it and I just felt like Liberals are allowed to make jokes are conservatives make jokes or say something. It's called fake news. It's called propaganda. It's called lie a joke, you know he can he can make a joke. She can make a joke lit. Let's let's figure out why it's funny and what is funny in? There should be no group of people that that are that are protected from jokes. You shouldn't be mean just to be mean but the second you say you can't joke about this.

33:25 I know I'm a joke about it twice as hard now because you just told me I can't and why can't I what makes them special what makes them Superior and and I I don't think anybody is I think we should all be equal. And so yeah it so comedy helps me go back and forth. Was there anybody on the conservative side is doing what Colbert and Jon Stewart used to do ya on YouTube. You got two people like Owen Benjamin Steven Crowder.

34:01 Most of them are getting banned actually, so there's not many anymore a few people from Infowars or are actually Comedians and saying things and I'm not enforced fan. But yeah, the only the only way I guess the only person that I know of from Infowars has Alex Jones and I don't hate him. I feel like things about him have been exaggerated and cuz I don't listen to him started listening to him like the second he got banned. I'm like why I have to find out why and so I've listened to maybe like three or four episodes in and it wasn't exactly my cup of tea, but it wasn't what I was told. It wasn't as wild raving and ranting I didn't hear anything racist sexist homophobic. I heard some things that were kind of jokes outrageous stuff, but that doesn't mean that they're they're Raw.

35:01 I don't know why I'm depending I don't really care.

35:05 I think it's another case of like cherry picking. Yeah. Yeah, no finding information or finding, you know Clips or whatever of of somebody who tends are not time to do but occasionally makes outlandish things in outlandish things and that's kind of the thing that they remember for it. Cuz the only thing I know about Alex Jones has something to do with gay frogs and oh, yeah and see and I was actually debunked the gay frogs did happen, but they're not telling you about that. He was talking about putting chemicals in water that we're going to turn the frogs gay, which he didn't literally mean he meant that it was going to affect the sexuality of the animals in the and the fish change genders. So he was right wasn't frogs turning gay was fished changing their sexuality so he was right, but because he said it like a silly joke nobody listen to what he was actually saying, I guess that was my point earlier is that sometimes they make jokes. It's just seen as a joke and liquid. What is he really saying? And yeah, it's funnier to say it's going to turn the frogs gay. That's funny.

36:05 But what he was really talking about was the chemicals affecting wildlife and end in Tokyo. There's always everything every time a conservative says something horrible. I have I get people tagging me. Like I want to be a part of this is why I have to go and research I have to look into it because those horrible things are getting thrown on me and 95% of the time what I find is

36:32 Is not what's being reported isn't actually true than actually what these people meant or why did you cut out the sentence? You said before kind of thing and sew in and and I I'm a video whether you know, and I worked in radio. I know how easy it is to just chop something up just use a bit and I and I feel like both sides do that and in because of my work as a video editor. I know how easy it is to manipulate people. I've done it.

37:01 Hey, I've seen it been done and and we and that's kind of why I like where the conservative movement is going right now is because we're we're no longer afraid to call that out because I think that the things that you're saying Infowars is doing I I can say CNN is doing to editing 911 calls things like that. It's why I feel like I feel like we're both doing and they both need to stop and journalism needs to be about truth now and or or just and not be biased or if you're going to be biased admit it and that the YouTubers I watch that are right-wing there like hey, this is a right-wing show. We're not trying to be by in their open about it. And but then you have other people who are on the left Rockwall. This is nowhere we're completely biased and I know you're not be honest with me and I think I think it's an exciting time. We're living in

38:02 Yeah, it's it's definitely was excited. It's

38:06 Exciting can be terrifying a x i mean if there's no there's the the right up the roller coaster and then there's the the inevitable fall of the roller coaster as well. And I think that that is definitely we're at a point. Where were maybe pass the crest and were you know, where shooting downhill and and stuff happening kind of fast. And then I worry sometimes about what what it's how that's going to affect like day-to-day life because I think there's some things that happen in a government that that are have big and over reaching in and they don't really have like I still go to work everyday. I still wake up every morning like yeah, those are not really think that would affect me and I'm I'm starting to see more more things that are like, oh this is going to affect my you know doesn't affect my day-to-day life like this is kind of crazy, you know where it's like getting difficult to afford, you know certain things because of you no Terror

39:06 Jefferson and I mean it's it's

39:10 Definitely. It's definitely creeping in and I can see it a lot more than I could before and it's it's a little bit scary, but I'm hoping hoping that things change in 2020, who you going to vote for one of the 87 Democrats that are currently running I be so in the 2018 election I voted for Hillary and why was I was I was Pro Bernie and somehow until he was no longer the nominee till she knocked him out. Yeah, and then I was I was off for her because I'm in my eyes. She was the not so I don't want to take the lesser of two evils because I don't

39:59 I wouldn't consider her an evil person like but I definitely I didn't agree with a lot of the things that she wanted to do and I agree more burning but I I still wanted to support, you know, some of the things that I believe in and that they were some things that that she was going to fight for her and and then she did not win and it was Soul crushing and there were lots of Tears what was election night like for you though. It was it was it was kind of sad was sad because it was at first really hopeful and then as the night went on and and it started becoming obvious that she was going to win and and I just remember going to bed that night like

40:46 Super disappointed because the only to the yeah, the only two elections I had been in prior to that. We're both won by Obama easily. It was it was like every person that I voted for is one. I was like he was going to win and think Trump was going to win. I believe the polls. I trusted the media that time and I remember my steps I'm running into the kitchen to be like Trump is winning and I was like, oh foolish child, you're reading it wrong. Trump can't win the we've been told that no one supports him, even though he's feeling of stadiums and silent majority at the and they're out there and I think I think a lot of them are our people like me. I think I'm just out of the people. I know. I'm the only one who

41:36 I like I'll say it out loud. I've lost all my friends. I don't care anymore. And I know what actually I don't have that many friends, but they're closer and I I would rather have that than a bunch of fake friends who only like me because I was thinking like them and I still have tons of little friend's wedding and the all all all walks of life. But these are friends at that know me and understand me and and I think that's that's a beautiful thing and I hope you know and understand me in and hope that I'm not a Nazi. I'm going to leave this interview not thinking you're not say we did it. Not a Nazi. I don't like them Nazis. I'm a big fan of Indiana Jones.

42:21 They're horrible. Well, thank you. It was great talking to you a great meeting you was shaking hands.