"I would want to change the fact that my sister and I thought my mom was the good guy..." by Emily Keenan
Recorded November 1, 2022 Archived November 1, 2022 09:31 minutes
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DescriptionEmily: Who was the person misusing drugs in your family?
Anonymous: My mom is the one misusing drugs.
Emily: Did they ever lie about their addiction to any of the family members?
Anonymous: Yes she did lie, she would try and fight my dad in court to win custody over my
sister and I. And my dad knew it was happening all along, judges in the court tend to favor the
mothers over the fathers, even when in the situation my mother was in the wrong.
Emily: Did you or anyone else in your family see them misuse drugs?
Anonymous: My dad started noticing she was off after their marriage or after their divorce. And
she always made excuses, always late to pick me and my sister up, never had money, or
randomly she would have a whole bunch of money.
Emily: Did they ever steal from the family to get money for their addiction?
Anonymous: Yes, um the one time that I recall is when my mom bought me and my sister a dog,
we loved the dog, we tried to potty train the dog, and we would take it for walks and one day we
came home from school, and we didn't see the dog so we were so confused and we asked our
mom, “Wheres the dog?”, and she said that on accident she left the door open and it got hit by a
car. Soon after we found out that she then sold the dog for money, so.
Emily: How did their addiction affect your family?
Anonymous: Her addiction affected our family because me and my sister always favored our
mom up until we actually realized what was going on. We were too young to realize like what
she was doing? But then she started to act all weird to my dad, talk bad about my dad, make him
to be the bad guy, and it would make me and my sister upset, and thats when we finally started
realizing like when my dad tried to keep talking to us because we were getting a little bit older
and telling us like, the things that she was involved in. Thats when we started realizing.
Emily: How did their addiction affect your relationship with them?
Anonymous: Um, at the time I think it affected me more because I was more confused on what
I’m supposed to do if I’m supposed to talk to her, if I should still see her, but I didn’t want to see
her, but it’s, I haven’t seen her in probably about... 10 years? So, it hasn’t really affected me and
I rarely think about her and considering the things that she had done to me, and my sister, and my
dad, and the stuff that she put us through, no matter what, like my dad’s family was always there
for her. I just think you wouldn’t do that to someone if you cared about them.
Emily: How did you cope with the situation?
Anonymous: At the time, my dad put my sister and I into therapy and once again we were a little
bit younger, probably 10 and 11, and so we weren’t really sure of how to react because we were
just confused on everything going on so I don’t think we really fully coped? But I also would
never want to see her or have her back into my life ever again.
Emily: Did they ever get into any fights or arguments with family members?
Anonymous: She would always have fights with my dad and argue with him, um one, a few
things that sticked out to me, one thing is we would, we started having to get picked up at the
police station, because she would start arguments with my dad so my dad would have to get the
police involved all the time so that’s when we just started meeting at the police station so my dad
knew nothing would happen because why would she fight at a police station. Um another fight
that that stuck out to me was, one morning my sister wanted to wear a certain outfit and my mom
didn’t want her wearing that outfit so my mom decided to grab her by her hair, and pull her down
our hallway, thinking that would change my sister’s mind, but that just made my sister hate her
even more and not listen to her. And then another one was when my, once again my sister were
younger so we had no idea what we were doing, where we were going... My mom put us in the
car, we drove somewhere that looked familiar then we started realizing, oh were going to dad’s
house. And then, I guess our dad didn’t even know we were there, because she ran in his
backyard, grabbed rocks, and grabbed the scraper of the grill and threw it at his glass door and
my dad then found out that we were there and it was a very awkward situation.
Emily: Did anyone try to help them with their addiction?
Anonymous: Um yeah my whole family tried to but she really wouldn’t listen and I think that
she kind of would listen then ignore it and say she’d get help but just ignore it.
Emily: Did stigma regarding substance misuse affect their seeking treatment? Or did it affect
friends and family from helping? If so how?
Anonymous: I was younger so when she was misusing drugs around me so I can’t say how she
reacted when people would confront her but I’m sure that she didn’t care much about seeking
treatment because my dad used to say that she would act like she would be going to get help but
she was just faking it the whole time.
Emily: Was there anything or anyone who helped you deal with the situation?
Anonymous: My dad was a big part of this and my step mom as well, my step mom has been in
my life since I was 5 years old and has helped me and my sister and my dad cope through this,
most of the time she doesnt wanna hear about it because it’s just something that was horrible in
our life so she doesn’t want us to like reflect on it or talk about it because why would you even
want like to hear about this situation, and my dad just always wanted to make me and my sister
happy and try to take us out of a toxic situation.
Emily: Would you or your family ever help them again?
Anonymous: Uh nope, we do not want anything to do with her, she’s hurt my sister and me, my
dad and I don’t really care to speak to someone who is like that because obviously if you loved
someone and cared for someone that you wouldn’t hurt them that much.
Emily: Is there anything you wish you could go back and change?
Anonymous: Yes I would want to change the fact that my sister and I thought my mom was the
good guy at first, and always wanting to be around her we would never want to go to my dad’s,
anytime we were dropped off at my dad’s we would cry and ask him to bring us back, he would
drive all the way back, so I wish we could change the fact that me and my sister could have
realized that my dad was just trying to help us out and didn’t want us to go back because of what
she was doing to us.
Emily: Is there anything you wish you would have said to them?
Anonymous: Um no, uh what’s done is done I don’t care to speak to her.
Emily: Have they regained you or your families trust at all?
Anonymous: No, my mother actually went to prison for a few years and tried to write me letters
and send me money and I don’t want anything to do with her. She also makes all these fake
Instagram accounts every few months and tried to follow me and my sister and then DM’s me
and my sister, gets mad at us because we don’t answer. Like, if we block her she’ll make another
one and there’s just no point in giving our attention to someone who’s like that.
Emily: Was there anything that stuck with you throughout the experience?
Anonymous: Yes, all the fights that she would have with me and my sister about how she treated
my sister, she was very neglected... She neglected my sister a lot because my sister looked like
my dad so she was not the favored one, there’s a few times where my sister was neglected
where... My mom left her curling iron on and my sister was just a baby and while my mom was
off doing other things my sister grabbed the curling iron, and burnt her face. Um, another time
my mom was doing her hair again and me and my sister were hanging out and my sister asked
her to open a juice box, box or something of that sort, and my mom neglected her and was
ignoring her because she was doing her own stuff. She was being selfish and my sister grabbed
the knife and started cutting and realized that she started cutting her fingers. And my mom didn’t
even, she didn’t even know how to react because she realized like she was neglecting her so she
didn’t want to call someone, so she called my uncle and my uncle came and brought my sister to
the hospital and got her stitches but that, all of the fights have pretty much stuck out to me and
my sister and we just don’t wanna go back to someone who would treat little kids like that but
now we're adult so we probably would be even more scared of how she would treat adults.