Interview (1): "You're gonna stop when you're ready"

Description

Jen: “Hi, so today I’m going to ask you a few questions. There’s about 10 of them. Um, so the first one is … what was your pivotal moment that made you want to change your life?” B: “Um, probably, spending my nights in a crack house, sleeping. Sometimes, not sleeping at all, honestly. Most of the time, I’m not sleeping at all, I’m just staying up till the sun comes up, and just getting on with it. And just not having money, having money, not having money, just going back and forth with it, just wasn’t enough anymore. And, it honestly took me waking up on the beach to the tide rolling in, and waking me up, soaking me. And, me realizing like damn, I just slept on the beach and got woken up by the tide. It’s fucked up. And, yeah, that’s probably when I was like I had enough of this shit, like I’m not trying to do that anymore.” Jen: “Okay, um, can you remember how or why you started misusing drugs?” B: “No.” Jen: “Do you, um, like how old were you? Like an estimate?” B: “Uh, well I started getting high when I was like 15, 16… smoking weed. But like harder drugs, like, 17? Yea.” Jen: “Okay, um, do you have any regrets?” *Long pause Jen: “Um, do you have any regrets?” B: “Many of them.” Jen: “Do you want to explain a little bit more about it?” B: “Not necessarily. Um, yeah, not necessarily.” Jen: “Okay, um, how do you feel and/or think differently about drugs now?” B: “Uh, I view them, the last thing about it now is like, I can’t get on with my life while using them. But, they’re still fucking great.” Jen: “Okay, um, do you feel that people judge you or treat you differently because of your past?” B: “Yeah. For sure.” Jen: “Do you feel that on a daily basis?” B: “Um, no. Because I try not to surround myself, like put myself in positions where I’m gonna be around people that are gonna judge me ‘cause of it. You know what I mean.” Jen: “Yeah.” B: “Like I know who is and who isn’t gonna just try to, you know, yeah.” Jen: “Um, are there any people from your past, um, who weren’t misusing or misusing with you, that you still speak with?” B: “Yeah.” Jen: “And, um, are they in recovery too?” B: “Um, some of them.” Jen: “Um, are you active in the community to help others stop?” B: “I work, I have a job. That’s about it. See, I don’t like tell people to stop using drugs, I don’t do anything like that.” Jen: “Okay.” B: “You know how many times I’ve heard that shit in my life? You think that’s stopped me? Fuck? You’re gonna stop when you’re ready.” Jen: “That’s very true. Um, have you personally suffered any overdoses or near-death experiences due to your addiction?” B: “Numerous.” Jen: “Do you want explain a little bit of what that felt like to you and what you went through?” B: “So, like, it ranged from, felt like nothing at all, like I didn’t feel any type of way about it to…damn, that was crazy, I can’t believe that happened… to damn, like I… woke up… it sucks. Yeah, so.” Jen: “Um, have you lost any friends or family from misusing drugs?” B: “Um, I’ve lost… uh, when you say friends, no, not family. When you say friends, I mean I have people that I’ve known for a while… people that I’ve grew up with. People that I’ve hungout with up til the day they died. But, I mean, friends, that like I … you get my point? Like, not anybody I would like consider like a friend-friend… like, damn, my friend died.” Jen: “Like not someone close to you, you mean?” B: “Yeah. Yeah. Not someone close, there you go.” Jen: “Okay. Um, and what was your home life like then and how is it now?” B: “Uh, I didn’t have a home life for most of, uh, the time. And, uh, now, it’s great. Couldn’t be better, honestly. It is the best thing in since, whew, when I was 16? And I’m 23.” Jen: “Okay, uh, thank you for all of your answers, um, I really appreciate you taking your time and, um, answering these questions for me.” B: “Gotchu.” Jen: “Alright, thank you.” B: “Yerr.”

Participants

• Jennifer Nguyen
  

Interview By

• Jennifer Nguyen