Clark Stillman and Daniel Stillman

00:05 I'm Daniel Stillman. I'm 35 today is what is today April April 23rd. It's the years gone by crazily where New York City and I'm the son of my father who I'm here with today.

00:24 I'm the father of the sun on the name is Clarks tilmont. I'm 68 today is the 23rd location is New York City Manhattan, actually and I am indeed the parent of this man.

00:44 Okay, so I'm I printed out some of the questions from the website. I really liked a few of them. I'm wondering if you can tell me what your earliest memory is. Memory is taking a shower.

00:58 Underneath the spilling of the excess water from an air conditioner behind the Quentin movie house in 1944. 43 44 45.

01:18 4647 to think you're like 3-4 years old four years old and I remember walking across the street cuz we lived on Clinton Avenue and East 32nd Street East 32nd Street Brooklyn have no idea where that is show it to you, but I never crossing the street cuz we we lived in the back of the store that my parents own crossing the street on dressing to take a shower in this overspill from the air conditioner. So that's that's my earliest memory and that's the sound very sanitary. Well, I was allowed to walk the streets by yourself most days. It was a whole other world.

02:10 Because people in the neighborhood watch out for everybody sure. So if I was doing something that a neighbor saw that I shouldn't have been doing like taking a shower and obviously nobody speak. Nobody saw me because they were doing other things like what time of day was this weekend. I can't tell you but I can tell you it was hot, you're hot and you need to cool off all I know I can't give you any of the details. You said what do I was with her earliest never this bad this together actually because I didn't really think that, then what was the movie house? Oh, okay. So if Point Theater, which is no longer there something else now.

02:55 That's amazing.

02:57 Define even imagine what this place even looks like. I can't I can't put Quentin and East 43rd in my head anywhere 32nd north south east west east west. Yeah, I have no idea where that is introduced you to that part of Brooklyn. Yeah. Well, I mean if that helps you a little yeah a little

03:24 Also, I rearrange these questions in this order. I other I realize there's a lot about your childhood. I don't really know and when they ask about what your grandparents are, like, I don't I don't I certainly never met your grandparents of the grandparents that I remember. I never met my mother's mother cuz she died before I was born I was named after her name was Clara. So I was named Clark her husband. My grandfather were called Gramps. Was it an elf or an imp of the perverse? He was that sounds like that sounds like Grandma Jo to she was definitely an imp of the perverse go to YouTube. Okay, he was an engineer.

04:18 My earliest my best memory of him besides him always teasing me was he caught me a poem that I never forgot? I learned it. I heard it once and never forgot it which was tobacco is his filthy weed what run the devil dust receive your fingers burn to disclose you and your brother never smoke cigars occasionally and the other thing I remember her released from him because he was an engineer was when my electric train on face which track burned out and I was 10 years old and he said and he screwed does the switch track the two pieces that were holding it together and the Unwound the coil.

05:14 I'd like the electromagnet that was an electromagnet and then he did something to it and then he rewound it and it looked like it was done by a machine. I mean that's how precise is was and the track was working again. I remember that and he said to me if a man made it a man can fix it 14th and you were trying to put a dimmer switch in the wall of your bedroom. You had you had undone all the wires and you had it hooked up but you just didn't have the technique to get wraparound on the ferry heavy wire, but you picked up that that you know, that's when I used to fix all those who cause you member the friction cause ice to take apart a phix Grandpa's television, but you didn't do anything to it. You just took it apart and put it back together and it worked right?

06:10 Right. It seems like you were never actually afraid to take anything apart never take a screwdriver and go to town and Technology into one of their labs to take some pictures for some promotional stuff and there was some wires in front of the base station that we wanted to take a picture of and so I just unplug the wires and brought that a home network.

06:35 So so that I can help you out with this. That's funny. I mean, yes, if I did always it's like when I went to Wallkill at time, the first time that I was asked if I was sent up to the to the top floor to the instruction was to look at the clock and see what to see what it needed cuz it didn't work to go to the door to the dorm that that door knob to the dawn sure didn't work. So I took it apart and I looked at it and I saw exactly the destruction wasn't to fix it. It was just to see what it needed. And so I saw what it needed and it's worked ever since I'm going to call you back in 25 years. You talked about Abe.

07:28 He lived where what part of town you nearby you guys know, I don't know where he lived the end up dying in Florida ended up dying in, Florida.

07:47 Okay, you're going to have to ask you to help me for I'm trying to think something some kind of this field is okay.

07:56 So, you know, how old was he when he died? Do you think that's 70 something and she was having something so you were maybe 11:11 or so so that I love you dealing with much longer after that. It was 50's. It was after 1956 cuz we were living.

08:24 In Marlboro houses near Lafayette High School at that time. So

08:30 And the track was Fitters was Lafayette High School Bensonhurst Bay ridge-bensonhurst, Gravesend section of Brooklyn.

08:39 The home of Sandy Koufax went to that school. Yeah Midwood High School, which is right near Brooklyn College.

09:03 And how about your your father's parents? Where are these parents lived in the Brownsville?

09:11 Come over first my grandfather. My father's father came over first and then a couple years later. I don't know how many years and when you speak to your mother about this, she'll know he came and she came over Grandma came over with the rest of the family, which was my two by two aunts and my father who is the youngest. How old was he when he came over maybe 6 so that hurt his dad had been for the advance guard.

09:49 Menachem Mendel see I'm high man from Danielle's cock. My father is Yitzhak Ben Menachem Mendel, so and you are

09:59 I'll grab my opinion, This is something I've never actually been able to establish. What was

10:13 Grandpa Malcolm's last name. Well, we think will work on her side of the family first and maybe she'll coach me. I'm doing it on my side of the family, which I really don't know much about right. We think it was.

10:32 Translated as stellman or stone how we got to be Stillman. I don't know if we've got a ranch somewhere in Canada, which we once visited poop in in in mind. We say we who's that? We my mother my father myself my uncle at off and my aunt even his wife. We went to drove to Montreal to visit the infield at 11 or 11. I'll have to look at Sinatra song It Was a Very Good Year. Everything's happened when your 11 trying to figure rounding up and down. I'm trying to get it, you know, it was sometime between 9 and 1558 members of your family got into a car and drove to Montreal with my father myself.

11:32 Whether it's 3:00 and Eva in and out of that's fine. That's a lot of people in the car with your brother. My brother was away at school. I was in college and he was working in the summer and things like that. That's a hell of a drive.

11:52 No, I mean that's a hell of a drive. This is the city's what were the roads like, I'd really don't remember remember so that's good.

12:09 I could stay on the stuff for the whole time. But come back to it. We met long and Winding Road Levin's very busy time. So, you know, what would you say was the happiest moment of your life?

12:25 The birth of my children

12:27 Well, that's that's two moments. That's right. There's no just never thought he would choose between one of those when I was there for you. Love Matthew first. You weren't there yet know the happiest moment of my life was being there for the birth of my children. What was happy about that? And then what is a spectacular it was like the most mind-blowing freeing experience you could ever have and you were not on drugs the time is not on your time.

12:58 Prove to me once and for all that you don't need drugs or anything's I will that's that's fair. That was how long did the high last at least a week?

13:11 Then reality said yes.

13:22 What's Matthew an easy baby? I got the sense that he was a pretty easy-going baby Nowell when he had trouble sleeping. He was really difficult and I had to swat unit used to swaddle him and I think I over swaddled him. Yeah, you've you've rapped mean you like reduced his blood flow wrapped into tight. Then I would still like you. I probably got him psychologically that he felt so restrained and now he can't be restrained by anything by anything, right?

13:56 You on the other hand you would just so you know.

13:59 You Give Good to Know You by the time you came we were so you know used to having a baby sure that when you came in like a okay Jeezy run you easier on us

14:17 It's a two-way street. I like that. Thanks for you were born using the semi a method where you were born.

14:28 Bringing up birth without violence never read that book by thumbed it the baby is supposed to be with the mother in water so that there's no you know shock to the baby.

14:46 So we were close to being able to do that. We just to know you were born with meat we put you in water so that you can float free resistant 17A.

14:56 Yeah, so this is just just for the record. This would have been February 19th 1976 at home in the evening Matthew as I recalled was upstairs with the shots.

15:12 2025 C for a long time and never moved there was have the three. We finally got the 18c was I born I never asked that in the bedroom door bet none of your bedroom, right?

15:28 Have a hard time actually visualizing the floor plan of 17 Acres 18 Seas where he lives for so much longer, but I do remember when Matthew and I had bunk beds. That was an 18 c.

15:39 No ATC, we had our own bedrooms. That's all Point. All right, that's right. You remember better than I was removed removed from a two-bedroom or three-bedroom Matthew. I didn't have to have when I was six. I guess we moved I guess. I don't know. I'm just visualizing this bunk beds. What kind of kitchen was in 17 in a small Galley kitchen nobody and I had a wall at the end of it. Right and it was not walk through like it's kind of like that Pastor Wright.

16:16 So the galley kitchens there and my bedroom was there where was your bedroom in relationship to my bedroom and 17A was it one further in I think so. They kind of shared a wall. I think so.

16:31 I think so.

16:33 You can't remember. I can't remember either. I think I'm just visualizing the Wolves apartment cuz they had a similar mood booty the saddest moment in your life.

16:57 Saddest moment of my life

17:04 I don't think it's happened yet. So I'll have to I'll have to dredge I did I could say Bob suicide was

17:14 With a little bit of annoying big pain in the ass. Yeah, but a long time ago friends for 40 years.

17:27 1960-65

17:33 Danny Schmidt suicide three years ago. So do the math true and if I remember correctly Bob Bob, Jeffrey, Jeffrey was friends with Bob and college I think but you knew Bob separately Bob through Steven Shay.

17:55 And and you guys you guys met on his couch as The Story Goes?

18:00 You and Mom edit part of your pops Eagle. I don't even remember meeting your mother. It pops Eagles. This is the well, this is a story. I've actually remember when you met Mom know I remember when she remitly I remember when she remembers me how we have a picture of me with her before we met, you know, that hopes that that goes contrary to the way the time goes and reason I know everything does but this is huge picture that was taken of everybody David clouding of myself. So you can show your mother a bunch of people. It's like this pyramid of people I can show it to you so you would that be something

18:51 Before Bob and Phyllis when married

18:55 And Mom says it right. We we ran into each other at their wedding, which I'm sure we did but I don't remember and the next time I remember meeting your mother was when I was working in why when she came into the store so

19:12 Yeah, you miss Bob.

19:15 Well, I can have more than missing my kind of like pissed at him for doing that still talk about it that way.

19:29 Where we had

19:30 Bob and I had projects together

19:34 And he was the implementer, you know be cold engine doing website stuff.

19:40 He was so cold fusion programmer.

19:45 On our website

19:48 And I never learned how to do all that kind of technical stuff that he did just some of it.

19:56 So he left me in the Lurch plus a bunch of his clients who he was working with on projects He just you know left everybody hanging and so, you know the site.

20:08 Pretty much. It's just kind of limping along now and probably will have to be terminated because

20:15 There's nobody who can do the work for nothing.

20:19 Since we would probably still really give up on all that done. Well, because you know, it's very funny when I get got the idea for the website, which was like 1990.

20:30 5

20:33 When I was unemployed.

20:36 And I just got this Gestalt about this website and I called him up and said this is what I want to do. Is it okay. Let's do it.

20:45 This was a couple years before amazon.com. Sure.

20:52 He learned all of his cold fusion and his internet skills working on our site, which he was then able to you know, capitalize and then her money off of so he didn't do it for nothing. It seems a little I mean there are more personal reasons why you were angry with him know I'm angry with him because he was so smart that he did something so stupid because make it suicide was fairly meticulous if I remember correctly and it was over very quickly, but he like stockpile it or something, but he never planned it consciously he used to make jewelry in like 20 years ago thirty years ago. So you make sure you have chemicals in one of the chemicals you have is arsenic.

21:44 He always kept it around probably because in the back of his mind he knew that you know, Bobby Fischer with chess, you know, he was Ill though. He had emphysema. He wasn't in good shape in bad shape either. He could have let the lost like me for a couple of days.

22:05 Yeah, he was a control freak. If you couldn't have it his way was going to have it at all to you. He was very good friend to me and it seems like you know, I don't I don't think of you as somebody who has a lot of friends friends was my only friend.

22:23 Bob was my only friend. So that's kind of annoying when you lost your only friend at school has died.

22:40 I don't know. I'm so sorry. Yeah, me too. But he already passed of a kidney removed about a year ago. He had cancer and it just kept spreading. So I mean you have these men in your life who who's been the kindest person to you and your life kindest person to be in my life.

23:01 The kindest person Maya Gladys

23:06 God Rest her soul give you the nickname from your shoes want to give you my nickname cookie cookie.

23:15 Where does that nickname come from? Cuz you don't strike me as a cookie. You weren't there at the first I was born with a tan. And she looked at me and said he looks like a cookie right out of the oven and it is stuck and it's stuck and she see I'm going to continue to call me Cookie into my adulthood. Everybody else reverted to Clark cookie your mom your mom your my mom just a lot of water under the bridge since the arrest was the kindest is she was always just unconditional love there was never any any never anything there, but just exuberant love.

24:05 That's really nice sleeping with her husband.

24:10 What's your favorite memory of mom?

24:13 With mom my mom. We're not talking about Josephine.

24:25 Actually my favorite memories. I have two favorite memories, unfortunately, but I would have a favorite memory is when I was coaching her before the birth of Matthew doing, you know, the breathing thing and everything and she was really, you know store work throughout that it was a very difficult birth for her and Matthew actually was the acupuncturist who saw Matthew in 12 years or 8 years later said very difficult birth just from looking at Matthew and what she was really, you know.

25:01 Really Stallworth now is very proud of her. You know that she had that that staying power in that that that will to do you know, this was very different from a long labor. Difficult labor. Yeah also born at home.

25:17 It really strikes me how idealistic you guys were.

25:21 You still are?

25:23 It doesn't look the help. I don't know. I mean I look at that video of mama, you know, she was just so full of passionate ideas about the world and you guys this is not a common thing you guys were doing at the time that we gave up sugar is left and right for giving up sugar we gave up pastries and I gave up milk. We gave up dairy products. I know we were doing you know, we're cutting our fix my uncle Manny is to say we still cutting up vegetables in the right direction. Why do you say that? Because Mom about that in the video biotics you when you have a lawn the character of a parsnip, it's wrong, right? So, it's Yen. So you've got to cut it on it on a diagonal got to cut at an angle so that you distribute the young and yang evenly on the pieces that mean

26:23 It's like really getting down to the nitty-gritty. Remember that in the video of mom doing that. She talks about that.

26:35 People talk about another time. What's your what's your favorite memory of me?

26:42 Actually my favorite memory if you was working with work working in on your working on that light switch really I was so proud of you. I am I just like my seems like a cop-out can't remember anything. I remember that I was absolutely amazed that you had the husband and they did the daring and it showed me that you what you made out of myself for the grace of God can help but did you shut off all the breakers and you know what's going on and that you were and I said to myself and I was like what what went through my mind was Grandpa Abe has skipped my generation and going directly to you, and that's what happens. It's every other generation. So you got all of Grandpa age stuff and you ran with it. Thanks.

27:43 That is mean everything. I know it doesn't but it means everything to to to some people. Well, it's true. So if you could do it over again. Would you would you raise Matthew 9 differently? No.

27:53 I would be nicer to you.

27:56 And I wouldn't be as harsh.

28:01 Everything else would probably still be the same. Cuz you can't answer a hypothetical like that with a real answer. No, I'm asking you to look backwards when looking backwards. I can't see I did anything wrong.

28:17 Funny football drink to that board for life expected everything happened the way it was supposed to think. That was what that shouldn't have happened was the level of anger in the household. That's one problem which became a problem in your brother's private, I guess so, I mean turn out differently than you expected. Is that why you were angry because I didn't know what I wanted to do because I was never given the opportunity to find out what I wanted to do.

28:46 You're never given the opportunity given the tools to explore what it was that I had to give Ryan and I didn't know how to explore it on my own. So I didn't have the correct mentoring and tutoring the teaching to help me draw out from myself. What was there as opposed to my brother your uncle who is self initiating and driven from inside who knew exactly what he wanted to do and hurt their sure and I was more of a passive time you felt like it seems like you drifted through life for a while. I drifted through life completely not for a while. I'm still drifting through life. So you go where the current takes you it seems to have been worked out. Okay, except I did spend most of my life doing something I didn't want to do which was working for a living in a business that did nothing but stifle might would have the creativity and and and stuff. I hadn't make sure you feel like you're finally getting a chance to bring some of that out now, we still at Jury still out of

29:46 Cell phone this one. Yes, some of it but not not all of it. And I don't know if I'll ever get all of it out. I'm going to have to say the last time we had we had to approach and you were telling me about the harmonica class. You took I was pretty impressed that you were going outside of your comfort zone your comfort zone.

30:09 And how's the mm?

30:11 Astrology business coming it's very interesting which FYI who died gave me my first paying client and

30:22 You know, I run it as a I don't have a fee structure. It's it's it's free will donation. So you do that because because no but I mean there's a real reason behind it. I don't believe that you can you could put a value or I could put a value in what I give somebody the other person is the one who was in the position to give the value to it depending on what it's worth to them. Right? So if it's a free will donation they determine from themselves. What would its worth? That's the only say what what do you usually get I said looked as if there is a there is a wide scale from 0 to it. You have $200 that people charge. I mean you can do this or whatever you want to give me is fine. And also remember Mom saying something about how you feel like it's unbelievable wrong.

31:12 To charge for the transmission of knowledge just allowed to be in tune with occasionally. Yeah, you know, how can I charge for something which isn't it true? You know, I'm just passing on what I've heard will train you got to keep the lights on though.

31:31 Social Security helps with that it's true. So what are you what do you think your future holds then death, but ultimately I will die. What does my future Hold Ya recovered from most of the Damage Done from that the drugs for the hepatitis C and you know depression. Withstanding things are going along, okay.

32:07 I'll get some more astrology students. Maybe get bigger classes.

32:13 And God

32:15 See where we go with that mean your 68. Yeah, you could be live for another 20 years easy. My father died when he was 84 85. So if the genes are there, right and it was 82, so right to the I plan to live a hundred years doing my duty as you are of your human life. Well, yeah, so what you going to do with those years? Well, hopefully I'll continue to teach astrology and

32:50 Do do readings to help people get past them believe that they are who they think they are. How do you think you want to be remembered?

32:59 Gently

33:05 I'd like to be remembered Jennifer and only you and your brother can handle that. Is there anything that you've never told me what you want to tell me now? This is maybe our last conversation. We walked out anything like anything you've never told me that you want to tell me now and get on tape anything for posterity everything. I mean, I told you everything I told you not to do drugs cuz I did drugs and it don't they don't call it dope for nothing and you never did drugs and I'm glad to hear that.

33:46 Keep it real keep your nose clean. You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows or her Bob Dylan's worth.

33:56 Hold your judgment for yourself. There's nothing I can tell you that I haven't already told you. I mean, you know everything you need to know your brother goes to it's a matter of whether or not you choose to use what you know, or reach into get what you know, sometimes you make a book with you though sure we all do so, what would be your you know, don't be ignorant. Don't turn your mind. If we don't turn yourself away from what you know, the truth to be that's the last thing I'd say to you face it look at it do it do what you have to do whether or not you want to do it do what you know is true whether or not you feel like doing it that's courage.

34:38 It's interesting cuz you know.

34:41 In a way, that's why you did that for a lot of your life and it was hard for you. It was hard. It's never easy Play-Doh soon Socrates said that is real courage is doing what you know is right in the face of your fear or not wanting to do it. Yeah, that's real courage because you know the truth and as long as you know the truth and don't turn yourself away from that you can't be ignorant the minute you turn away from the truth, you're ignorant cuz you're ignoring something that you know, sure I mean for me one of the things that I've I've really learned from you amazingly

35:18 Is that you gave your whole life to us?

35:24 Well, that's what I got to do with my car really now. Shoot pool.

35:35 You know I asked I had I had I had a family I had to take care of it's my job was to make sure that they had food shelter clothing. Sure. What else does the guy do do I abandon my children and go with some floozy to Las Vegas to shoot craps? No weekends.

36:00 They're in my job more things. I do is decide to give to call the information architecture now, but really all it is is taking the information you have and organizing it in a meaningful way, but the thing that I always the thing, I think I enjoy about what I do when I do that.

36:20 It's not just that it's actually not making order out of chaos. It's finding the order but it's there and finding whatever the highest.

36:30 Principle is behind for thing, right? You know, I like to organize.

36:36 The information we have and say how many types of things do we have and what how do they relate to each other? You know, we have 50 ideas, but we were the only have three types of ideas and they're on the Spectrum and I think in a way all the years we spent

36:56 Meditating and trying to see the alternate reality behind things sort of sinks in and you always try to find I always try to find that the principles the the the underlying structure behind the seed form the seed form. Yeah.

37:14 Do you say sunscreen anymore these days it's been awhile since I formally studied sounds great. But occasionally, I'll crack the dictionary and that the hot to Pata and the Ketone play with it. That was something that you and Mom seem to really share really loved working with this very very fulfilling. The keto be punished. What do you think you and Mom share together now?

37:45 We share an adherence to to the same principles even more strongly than we did.

37:54 At the beginning. I think that that's the thing that holds us together as did the faith in and the belief in and the knowledge of

38:04 Two principal

38:10 I wouldn't, you know go any other and I can't say we have a romantic love I mean deal with too realistic for things like that.

38:19 Well, you wouldn't call you mother anything but real is with you.

38:22 She's an idealist. I think that's a realist in my business. That's interesting won't show, you know.

38:31 What should I be looking for an AO in a life partner then?

38:35 Someone who appreciates who you are and somebody who you appreciate.

38:40 Somebody who appreciates you for you?

38:44 Text you at face value.

38:47 If you can find somebody like that you be very lucky with most people will never take you at face value. They'll say they take you at face value sure, but once they've got you are going to change the face that they value or they going to try to.

39:05 Sure, and I feel like your mom is definitely having to struggle is back and forth. Yeah, we both got the shape and faces, but we as we are it's just not always easy. I mean when you say who you are, I feel like you guys are grown tremendously.

39:25 Since I've known you

39:28 Keep watching this will keep growing.

39:31 As you will

39:35 Penfield place.