Cecilia Barretto, Andria Spinks, and Suzie Flores

00:05 I'm Susie Flores. I'm 29 years old today is May 26th, 2011. I'm in New York City and I am Cecilia Beretta bread has granddaughter.

00:20 My name is Andrea Spinks. I'm 46 years old today is May 26th, 2011. Where in New York City and I am Cecilia bretos daughter.

00:36 I am Cecilia, Beretta.

00:38 I am 80 years old today is May 26th, 2011. We are in New York.

00:47 And I am with my granddaughter Susie florist and my daughter Andrea Castro Spanx.

00:56 Right Nana. I'm really excited to get started cuz there is a lot about you that I don't know. So the first person that I have for you is what is the happiest moment of your life?

01:10 I've had several happy moments, and that's each time that

01:17 I've had a new baby that has been really happy moments for me with each of my children. I have five and I was very happy also to it last after full of boys to have a daughter.

01:35 What's what's one of the saddest moments in your life?

01:40 The saddest moment in my life was when I lost my mom.

01:46 Her name was Dolores Barreto Patton and when she died.

01:54 She died in my arms and that was heartbreaking to me. How old are you? I was 33 years old when she died. She died in 1966. What did she die of a heart heart problems?

02:11 Was it a sudden death? Did you know she had been suffering with heart problems for a long time? And finally just gave up on her?

02:24 Who has been the kind of person to you and your life?

02:29 I would have to say my daughter.

02:33 My daughter has been.

02:36 With me always and in my worst moments my very worst moments. She was there to see me through to nurse me to.

02:48 So you talking about Andrea and was she alive when your mom passed away? Yes. She was just a baby. She was a year-and-a-half-old.

02:58 And of course you wouldn't remember her, but my mom left her a lot.

03:06 What are some of the most important lessons you've learned in life in your 80 years?

03:14 I believe that.

03:19 Being patient and every situation in your life.

03:24 And waiting

03:26 We sometimes want to resolve our problems immediately because we're either emotionally upset or angry when in actuality the best thing to do is to wait.

03:42 To learn to be patient through it all.

03:48 Tell me about one of your earliest memories.

03:53 I happen to remember a lot. I got to go way back in my memories when I was a baby actually.

04:03 Being in a twin Carriage because I am a twin with the Richard and being in a twin Carriage with him.

04:13 I remember him drinking his bottle. I'm drinking my bottle and I I remember wanting to finish my bottles so fast so that I could grab his

04:25 And that's exactly what I did.

04:28 So it sounds like you were competitive with authority.

04:32 I was always stronger then then Uncle Richie taller stronger more assertive prettier.

04:48 What was it like being a twin as you got older as he became a teenager?

04:54 It was good. We went to the same high school and it was fun. Knowing that there was someone there that that you can count on it was fun having Richie is twin brother. We played a lot together. We fought a lot together. It was good. And then what was it like being a twin as you became an adult? How did your relationship with Uncle? I think that?

05:22 He started to create his own life.

05:28 I started to create mine got married and started to have children.

05:34 And that the

05:36 We drifted apart just a little bit at that time in our lives because he was very occupied with his family and children and so was I

05:46 And of course, I moved to, New Jersey.

05:50 Where is he stayed in New York? So that made a little bit of adrift also. How old were you when you got married? I was 18 when I got married and how and was Uncle Richie married when you got married at the same time know he got married.

06:06 2 years later, I believe.

06:10 So what was it like being an 18 year old bride scary?

06:14 Very much. So because I was born in New York. I was raised in New York and it 18 move to New Jersey.

06:25 And that was like a very lonely time for me.

06:30 Because I was away from my mom. I was away from old family and it was it was frightening at times. Do you have any regrets about the decisions you made when you were eighteen? Oh, yes.

06:44 Not getting off that easy to tell me more solutely. I would have gotten married at 8.

06:53 But I did and had my first child at 19. That's your dad Jorge Flores who I'm very proud of today being a radio personality having his own radio show and I'm proud of that.

07:12 Anna All My Children turned out to be really great guys.

07:17 Including Auntie Andrea, Auntie Andrea. Yeah, she's she's a paralegal.

07:28 I know all my kids have really studied and and

07:32 And turn out to be great men and women.

07:36 So tell me more about being married, so young and what it was like with my grandfather whom I don't really know.

07:47 Tell me a little bit about him.

07:49 I was very young.

07:52 Too young

07:54 And he was so much older than I and so he was very serious and set in his ways and I was not like that. I was a very happy smiling person in his his personality was completely the opposite.

08:13 It was hard at times and I missed very much being with my mom like that.

08:20 How did that impact your relationship with your mom?

08:24 Home

08:27 Thank God for phones. We were on the telephone a lot just to make up for that that the Lost closeness that we had.

08:39 And but I did see my mom as often as I could and what came into the city to see her absolutely. Tell me more about your mom. Where is she from?

08:52 My mom was born in Spain.

08:55 And she came into this country to live with a brother.

09:02 That she had here in Brooklyn.

09:06 And stage and here is where she met my father. He was when she got married and and had her life here.

09:16 So she lived in the states with just a brother. Was there any other family for her brother's here? When did her and your father separate?

09:30 I was five years old when my father left.

09:35 And that was very hard to do because my father was my absolute adoration.

09:42 I loved him. So what was his full name? His full name is someone by later, Vergara?

09:51 Which would be Raymond Barretto variegata?

09:56 And then the nicest guy you want to meet?

10:01 Do you remember him? I already have one memory of him when he came back from Puerto Rico.

10:09 I must have been maybe 11 or 12 and I just remember him being like you just smiling and hanging out on the front porch and my mom and dad's house.

10:20 Yeah, he was a very

10:24 Patient very calm person

10:30 In

10:32 So I know that when he and your mother split up he went back to Puerto Rico. Yes, he did and he wouldn't lose his life there. He married again and had two more children.

10:46 Married a very lovely lady.

10:49 Do you did you maintain a relationship with her? Yes, absolutely. Is she still alive? No, she passed away. Also found what was her name loose.

11:01 Translate lights and they had you had two sisters and they had two children a boy and a girl.

11:09 Her name is Rosa Nicole hirochi and Samuel.

11:17 I have two younger half-brothers in Puerto Rico.

11:25 Last time I saw him was when when my dad died.

11:29 I haven't been back to Puerto Rico since

11:33 And that's been about how many years ago?

11:38 Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, it's more than 10 years. I would guess it's probably closer to 20 like 17 years probably.

11:48 So

11:52 Since I never had a chance to meet your mom what are some things that you would like to pass down about her to me?

12:00 So I can pass them down to my kids.

12:03 My mom

12:05 Was great cook a resourceful person when my father left when we were five years old and my brother a was seven.

12:19 And my father left to go back to Puerto Rico there she was with three kids and what to do.

12:29 At that time we lived in a very large house with many bedrooms. It was five bedrooms.

12:36 And what my mother did was she started to rent out these rooms.

12:41 Turn money that way in that pay for all the bills.

12:45 And she rented them with or without food. It was with food cuz she's charged more and that we're talking about many many years ago.

12:58 And

13:00 My mother made it

13:02 She never remarried never never went out with another man because I believe she still loved my father.

13:11 And she was a loving grandmother. She loved her grandchildren. She adored Douglas your cousin Silas and and Ricky and all of my children adored them.

13:28 And that's how I she spent her life watching over us taking care of us. Just being a strong resourceful person.

13:38 How do you how do you think about the relationship your mom and dad had knowing that your mother was such a wonderful person in your father was such a kind and gentle person. There were as I understand that the circumstances that happened and one of them were was an older sister that I had from my mother's first marriage when she was a very young girl. What is her name? Alalia?

14:05 Alalia

14:08 And I will love you.

14:13 Oh, that's her married name.

14:15 And she was so much older of course and because my father was from Puerto Rico she was very

14:29 Racist

14:32 And so she made my father's life really impossible. I think that my mother's passivity didn't didn't work too. Well, either, you know, however, that's how it ended. I'm leaving.

14:51 How has racism come into your family that you

14:58 We have a family that has all different shades in it. So is this the first experience you had with racism?

15:05 This is a story that my father told me.

15:09 Yeah, that's the way she felt towards him.

15:14 Do you speak to Aaliyah anymore to Lolly? My sister died many many years ago when I was born. She was already a married woman.

15:27 So

15:29 She was much older. Did you ever have a relationship with her? Not a good one? I don't have any good memories of my sister.

15:37 Her relationship with me was forceful and and

15:46 Very hurtful

15:48 Did you ever speculated stud why?

15:52 Well, she has told me why because I'm my father's daughter.

15:57 Simple as that

16:00 It's sad, isn't it that a person should should feel that way.

16:06 Yeah, but she I don't have any good memories of her how she treated me pretty bad.

16:13 So when you are your mother and your father they had you Uncle Richie and Uncle Ray my order priority Uncle Ray. Like I just watched something with him on TV the other night and wondered what it was like having a brother who was involved in music is as Beyond trench to see was in that whole scene that well my brother Ray started very young sitting on people's cars and

16:51 Playing drums on their cars and he wouldn't he was always getting yelled at get off my car, you know because

17:00 Everybody my family is even though in one way or another is involved with music.

17:06 I'm done.

17:08 When he went into the army, he was stationed in Munich, Germany.

17:14 And it was there where he first met with some artists and Jazz musicians.

17:22 And he decided to get in with them and play and and he had great towns as you know.

17:29 And when he came back to the States, that's when he started playing with the diva Puente.

17:36 Another great artist and informed his own band.

17:43 And eventually he

17:47 Became a renowned musician.

17:52 He was with the old fannia Stars.

17:55 I won several Grammy Awards.

18:01 And so he played all over the world and was well-known.

18:05 And it's full name is Ray Barretto known as hard hands.

18:12 Get that nickname because he was a Conga player.

18:17 Can you play the hunger and

18:20 His hands were hard dear Lord. Yeah, yeah.

18:33 No.

18:36 I was always proud of him.

18:38 Very proud of his efforts very proud of what he did with his life and he did it in it at in a clean fashion, you know, he was never involved with drugs or

18:50 Or drinking and it was a whole effort and talent.

18:59 What about his family? Were you close with his family? Is he married Kathy? That's right. He married Kathleen Stewart.

19:10 Met her when he was in the hospital cuz he was in asthmatic and she was his nurse.

19:18 And that's how they met and eventually married and had three wonderful kids, which is Ray Jr. Ruin and Kelly it was on Kelly and then Ray Junior. Anyway, she was the greatest person you ever want to meet a heart of gold if you needed anything she was there.

19:47 She was there to give you moral support she was there to love your she was there to help you I owe so much to that woman because

19:58 Anytime that my mother got ill.

20:02 Kathy was there.

20:04 I live nearby. Oh, yeah, they did.

20:08 And what a wonderful woman she was and as you know, we lost her last year, which was a

20:16 Tremendous loss Terminus lost just a wonderful woman.

20:23 Towards the end of Uncle Ray's life. Did you two still spend time to do still speak with each other as much as you did or did you remain close to everything Kathy?

20:34 I remain closer I think with and Kathy cuz Ray remarried again. He remarried her a younger woman and you know how that is and the

20:47 What sort of a little bit of a dress bear?

20:51 But that I spoke I still spoke with Ray always.

20:56 But we had little doubt that the young woman that he married.

21:02 Do you have any?

21:06 Regrets

21:08 Towards your relationship with Aunt Kathy or with Uncle Ray know that they both passed on.

21:14 I love them both and where the Kathy was married to my brother and not to me. She was my dearest friend and she still is and Kathy to all of my kids and they love her.

21:29 For who she is.

21:32 And that has never made any difference whether they were married or not. They looked her.

21:38 When did you first start?

21:41 Being involved in music

21:44 Always my mother said I was born dancing always always and forever. What's your what's your musical Outlet your preferred musical Outlet. Well, as you know, I'm a Christian and I write Christian music really?

22:06 I know I prefer that.

22:09 Of course, I'd like to hear all kinds of music.

22:14 Is one of the songs that you wrote and Nia to me that sounds like a love song. Did you write that from a spiritual place or was that from a romantic place? I wrote that.

22:27 In the middle of the night and my bedroom.

22:32 I woke up with that Melody and and in my heart and got up and and started to pick it out on the piano and

22:43 And the words came

22:46 And it was at a time that I was having a lot of problems with my back as you know, that's my problem and I was in a lot of pain.

22:57 And I knew that only God could ease that pain or strengthen me.

23:06 To be able to take that pain.

23:10 To live through that pain.

23:13 And I know that in my heart I knew and I still know that my knees only kneel down to God. Almighty God.

23:24 When did you know you tell me the story of when you quit smoking when you were reading the Bible? Could you share that with us and just kind of explain a little bit more about when you became of everywhere. I meant sure I remember on wow, that's a lot of years ago.

23:43 I was reading the Bible and there's a scripture in the book of Corinthians.

23:49 When I read it it wasn't as though you were reading a passage know it to me it was that God was screaming to me and I was smoking at the time and I read the scripture where it says what don't you know that your body is temple of God and that you are not your own and that you've been bought with a price. Will that affected me so that I started feeling well now I'm making Jesus cough inside of me with my my cigarette smoke.

24:26 And

24:28 I said to the Lord.

24:30 This is not what you want. You know, I know it wasn't what he wanted. Just take it away from me.

24:37 And 3 days later. I stopped smoking never smoked again.

24:44 It's incredible cuz I know that it's very hard for me.

24:52 Tell me what it's like for you you turn 80 this year. Tell me what it's been like for you to.

24:58 To live 80 years and to become an older person that doesn't feel it. You know, you don't you don't feel it the years come on.

25:09 And you just don't feel it.

25:17 Inside on the inside and your heart and your spirit.

25:21 I don't see myself as a t anybody sees you as you know, I even started a new Venture like I told you this morning. I'm giving to you some.

25:35 English classes to high school students via the Internet in Peru, and that's exciting. You've always been very active in entrepreneurial activities and you've always been involved in education from what I know. I always think of you as a teacher tell me about what drove you towards that is that something that you've always wanted to do as a child. I was always playing with pencils and pads, and then that's all I wanted. I never play with dolls. Just give me a pad and pencils. I was happy.

26:08 And when I started studying in the University, I started as a nursing student.

26:16 But then

26:18 I shortly change that because it just wasn't for me when I started getting into the sciences and chemistry Anna. Oh my God know this isn't for me. So I went to Anna changed all my classes. I had my kids already. I did some inspiration. Where did you graduate from college in Caldwell, New Jersey?

26:56 That's why I graduated from and it was fun. It was exciting. I went full-time still took care of my kids and make sure that I took my classes that did not interfere with having to pick up the kids at school.

27:09 So I was was finished with with the school in time to go and get them from school.

27:17 Why did you decide to go back to school? What drove you to that?

27:21 I think that the

27:24 I was saying my children on more than anything else. I wanted to give them the example of good education.

27:33 And they saw that in me.

27:36 And hopefully that was the reason why they went hopefully it didn't be in school full time. You had to really work at it, but

27:57 I get a little bit annoyed sometimes when I hear a woman with one child complaining and and you know beating the head against the wall and I say I don't understand that because I had my five kids. I went to school full-time and and I was Mother

28:20 Were you married Samuel back to school? Yes, I was.

28:24 Yes, I want to Papa John.

28:29 What was it like the day you graduated? Oh that was exciting.

28:34 I felt wonderful. I felt beautiful. I felt bow. Wow, that's really great. Yeah, and how old are you in 1976 have 45 or 46?

28:53 What was your graduating class? Like did you have any?

28:58 Friends are people that you kept in touch with you. I was a mama young girls. They are giving out and I started a Bible study the school did not like that. Oh well.

29:18 We went on with the Bible study with sit on the grass on campus.

29:23 What does FrontPoint letters?

29:25 Why didn't the school like it because of all the colleges at Catholic school and they they didn't want you putting in your your two cents. But then anyway

29:38 It was a success the girls did come out with sit on the grass.

29:44 And if they came out to complain that invite them to sit.

29:48 Did they ever staying fit with no?

29:56 So how soon after that if you go into teaching

30:01 Well, as soon as I graduated started teaching at Eastside High where my daughter was going, but my daughter would not take my class at The Chew is a Spanish teacher.

30:15 I said, okay. I'm taking French.

30:27 No, that's okay. I'm actually I'm not a hard teacher. I didn't know that I was about to find out I've had many many wonderful wonderful students and great great rapport with them.

30:43 I know that you still keep in touch with former students. Yes, I do. What is it? Do you think that's it has the same thing and nurturing quality. What is it about teaching that you just find so completely believe that teaching is not just the subject that you're teaching.

31:01 Unfortunately, I believe that a lot of teachers just go in teach the subject and leave.

31:08 And it's the payroll. Okay, they're in it for the money, but I don't believe that way. I believe that my students are each individual individual lives individual problems individual feelings.

31:27 And it's one child at a time.

31:32 It's looking to that child and in not only making sure that he's learning what he supposed to learn but also sharing principles and values and

31:44 And giving yourself time to know that student. This is why I never never hung out with teachers the other teachers at lunch time. I had lunch with my kids cuz that was a time that they talked.

31:58 And got to know me and ask questions and reveal things to me that.

32:03 Even their parents didn't know.

32:06 So that was my time to guide them and share with them overlap with your thoughts on being a mother.

32:17 Do they intersect in any way that you can you said you were saying you communicated with your students sometimes in a way that their parents didn't even have an opportunity to headed did any of that translate with your relationship with your kids?

32:30 I think that all children I think the parents of the last to know that right.

32:38 Hopefully

32:41 Prayerfully

32:44 I know my kids, you know, and I know that they had their their friends on the outside probably somebody that they they they spoke to and said things that they wouldn't say to me as a mom because that that's the way it is.

33:02 But I see to my my children today.

33:07 As as a wow, they're fantastic people.

33:14 Knowledgeable people intelligent people happy smiley giving and loving

33:24 I think we can say that about your dad. We can say that about your uncle Danny right? We can say that about Uncle pull. It's just that the just loving people today.

33:36 I look at them and I thank God for them.

33:39 What?

33:41 You passed down to me is I get ready to start being a mom.

33:48 You know what? I love covers everything.

33:53 It does.

33:55 If you give love you get love I would advise you from from this moment.

34:03 To love your child

34:05 To sing to your child your baby's hearing you your pregnant right now. Your baby is listening to everything listening to your husband Jay.

34:14 And let the child be born into into your love.

34:21 MTO patients into your kindness into your listening.

34:31 Okay, so what would you tell me if I buy response? That was I'm terrified. What if I don't love my child impossible since I know that's not true knowing you.

34:47 Are there any words of wisdom you would pass along to me?

34:51 Do you personally?

35:00 Don't don't be afraid of life.

35:04 Life is never always.

35:07 I won steady stream.

35:11 Life can be very calm, but it can also be filled with hurricanes and tornadoes don't be afraid.

35:23 The reason why I tell you this is

35:27 We know that.

35:30 Everybody panicked when Jesus went on the cross and died. Everybody panicked. They thought this is said he's dead.

35:39 Now what?

35:41 But it took three days.

35:45 For him to resurrect.

35:49 So when things come your way when things seem to very very hardest and there's no way out.

35:56 Wait

35:59 What do you want my child to remember about you?

36:06 All the visits that you're going to do is to her house and all the hugs and kisses to going to get because she's not going to bake cookies with your baby guarantee you that

36:17 But I will.

36:23 Oh, what am I going to tell? What do you want me to tell my hopefully daughter will tell her that her.

36:32 Her grandmother great-grandmother great-great-grandmother was a strong person.

36:42 Life is like gives you a lot of blows sometimes and then also get you a lot of happiness.

36:53 So you got to go with the flow and you got to just be patient and know things aren't going to stay the same things are going to change. They're going to get better.

37:06 I'm grateful for one thing. I've seen a lot of elderly people much younger than myself in the seventies probably in the 60s that have lost their zest for life or or don't want to venture anymore into anything new. You know, I thank God that I don't feel that way.

37:28 I don't feel that way.

37:30 And you need to tell me your daughter or son daughter. I don't feel that way. No.

37:36 Everyday is a new day and a new things will come your way and yes be willing to take that step and

37:46 Absolutely be strong.

37:51 Do we have more time?

37:53 Do you have any advice that you would pass on two young couples? You have a lot of grandchildren of coupling age? Absolutely communication.

38:11 Lack of communication will lead you to

38:15 To make up your own ideas about things or two.

38:24 Possibly

38:26 I think things that aren't so.

38:30 Communication is is the key.

38:33 And I don't mean the type of communication is Hi. How are you? How was your day? I don't mean that kind of communication. I mean talking about all your fears all your doubts talking about those things that you have never disclosed to anybody else.

38:48 But you would have enough faith in and your partner to disclose those things knowing that he or she is not going to one day. Throw it back at you.

38:59 But talking about all those doubts that you have and all those fears that you have.

39:04 Is very very important?

39:08 Because you leave no room for thoughts that don't belong there.

39:16 You are good clearing the air.

39:21 Okay.

39:28 I think I might be all out without you Eddie. Are you?

39:35 I know Nana. What are you and I don't see your kids. What are you most proud of?

39:43 I'm proud of

39:46 The way that I handle my life.

39:50 I'm proud that I can sit here today and say wow. I've done a lot, you know and have not been afraid to do any of these things.

40:02 Are you proud of me? Oh my God. Yes. You have no idea how much auntie auntie will tell you how much I adore you.

40:11 You can just fade into the microphone so we can get it on record for how I do adore you Susie Flores. See you are to the Florence Douglas very very precious young girl. Really you are a beautiful granddaughter. I adore you having so many grandkids. It's wonderful Your Love Shine sitting at my desk at home. It says no matter how many kids a mother has she loves each one of the best.

40:42 Hello when I'm with you, I adore you if Andrew was sitting there. I would tape and yellow line under a load for you. I adore you.

40:54 I love you too, Nana. I'm very proud of you.

40:59 I know you do sweetheart. I feel it. I live it.

41:04 You know, I need a tissue.